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Right and Wrong and In-The-Middle

Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

When I was younger—like elementary-school-age—I was always the most talkative person in the room. When I tell people that nowaday, they think it’s the funniest thing in the world since I’m so different, but it’s just how I was! I loved making my thoughts known and letting the world know who I was. It didn’t always work out in my favor, though. 

I remember this one soccer practice where I tried to play along with a joke another group was making. All I got was three pairs of eyes staring at me, and someone muttering something like “what was that?” Whatever, kids are mean. I was too, probably. What I’ve realized over time is that people are capable of changing, and that holding grudges only makes things worse for yourself. 

Miscommunication was always my issue. Everyone miscommunicates sometimes, but for me it felt like the end of the world every time it happened. Like I’d failed the most basic part of life. I’d always  say things and get misunderstood, or my words would come out wrong but I wouldn’t always realize. When I did realize it sent me into great distress. Spoken words seem to fail me when they matter most. That still holds true now.  

Me!

When I was about twelve I realized I wasn’t being received how I wanted to be, and I made an effort to close myself off, quiet down a bit. To put it simply, the goal was to be liked. I think maturing and growing up a little in college (and hopefully more in the future too) is realizing that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, or to even get along with everyone. Making such a huge effort to be liked is just not worth it. It’s exhausting. I’d bend over backwards and shape myself into an entirely different person to try to get through the day. I’ve tried to figure out the solution to the problem of communication—or conversation—but I think there isn’t a clear-cut solution. Everyone’s different; everyone wants different things. I’m still quiet and a bit careful with my words, but I’m trying to find that balance. To be a bit more free to express myself. 

I was always told college is where you meet your “lifelong friends,” so when I first entered college and didn’t immediately click with someone I took it as a personal failure. There’s so much pressure in that first week, you forget you still have the rest of those four years to get through. 

I think there’s no right or wrong answer to when you meet your lifelong friends. And there’s also no right or wrong answer to who will, or can, be your friend. But if you continue to put in an effort, any friendship can last a long time. I mean, there’s been friendships I’ve let go of for this reason or that, but I do feel like there’s certain people I can see after a year and it still feels the same as it always did. That type of friendship is precious. It’s a fragile thing that requires love and effort that you have to be willing to give. 

It was difficult, but eventually I found my people. You can’t force things like that. If you force them they fall apart, which is what a lot of us learn in our first years at college. 

I started to understand what I look for in a friend as I spent time in different circles, floating around. People came into my life and left it. Life is an endless cycle of “hellos” and “goodbyes.” 

Relationships are the most confusing but the most rewarding thing in the world. 

Do you love boba like I do? Enjoy this buy 1 get 1 free deal at Kung Fu Tea with a student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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My Second Biggest Fear Starting College Was The Dining Hall.

Thursday, September 26th, 2024

First was move-in. 

For me, it was the not-knowing of it all. I felt like the whole move-in process was something everybody understood except me, that there was a certain way to do things. I was worried about a wide assortment of things—will people be instructing me through it? What if I don’t have the correct documentation? What if my parents park our car in the wrong spot? The panicked thoughts that move-in brought were countless and utterly overwhelming. 

Some context: I’m Autistic, but I only recently got tested and figured it out. When I started college I thought I just had this terrible case of social anxiety. Everything felt scary, from a conversation with a close friend to a room full of strangers. Interpersonal relationships have always been my biggest struggle—but at the same time, my biggest desire. Human beings are social creatures, after all. My relationships with other people are some of the most important aspects of my life. You can’t get through life without talking to people—they’re everywhere you look! I used to think that was a terrible thing, but I’ve come to realize it’s a beautiful part of life. 

So while I was terrified to start college, I was also thrilled to open up this new part of my life and meet all these new people from different backgrounds. 

And on that first day, I wasn’t the only one who felt at-a-loss about move-in. It’s freshman year; it’s new for everyone. Everybody is in the same boat. Even if I felt as though I were more clueless than most, that wasn’t necessarily the truth. 

The thing about Freshman year of college is that everyone runs to make friends at the very start, desperately afraid of being alone, and oftentimes those groups fall apart quickly. During orientation, everyone was so nice it was almost ridiculous. 

Then, it all died off. Friendships dwindled, people figured out who ‘worked’ for them and who didn’t—and it seemed I didn’t ‘work’ for the people I’d chosen that first week. I rushed into it like everyone else, afraid that if I didn’t instantaneously make friends upon arrival, I’d be alone forever—and I ended up alone anyways. 

Not forever, though. Of course not forever. 

Boston Public garden

I didn’t set foot in the dining hall until October. 

There was a list of reasons why. They might seem completely irrational (and they are!), but to myself at the time these reasons summoned just enough anxiety for me to choose a different option for food—to the detriment of my bank account, might I add. There were too many people I didn’t know—unfamiliar faces, people whose thoughts I didn’t know. I didn’t know where anything was, so what if I walked into the wrong area? What if I didn’t know what to eat? What if there were no seats left and I didn’t have anywhere to sit? These tiny molehills of concerns felt like mountains to me, impossible to overcome. 

Then I was invited to get dinner with a new friend. Someone I hardly knew, back then. Someone I got to know better by finally deciding today’s the day and agreeing to join them for dinner.

And, surprise! The dining hall was not the Hell-on-Earth I thought it would be. It was just, you know, the dining hall. A cafeteria. Like a bigger, slightly better version of what there was in high school. All it took was getting in there and going through the process of acquainting myself with new things. All it took was a push, a kind hand outreached. Sometimes, all you need to say is ‘yes.’

Caffe Bene is one of my favorite coffee shops to write at in Boston, enjoy 10% off with this coupon and student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Hold On or Let Go?

Tuesday, September 24th, 2024

Last Sunday was my mom’s birthday. I called her and asked how she was and how life was at home. She told me: “Everything is the same.” I wondered how everything could be, considering I was on the other side of the country. Perhaps she meant it as support—comfort, that even if everything seemed to be changing, at least my life in LA wouldn’t change. But, those words wound around my heart; hurt and fear became a coiling thing I could not ignore. 

Ever since I began planning for college, I wanted to get out. I wanted to leave behind complicated familial relationships, grow out of them like hand-me-downs, and live my own life. The plan was ironclad, and I saw no room for fault. Then, I came here: Boston. Three thousand miles from my family, the distance only amplified what was already missing. 

Charles River Esplanade

Three weeks before the big move, I met my therapist. I told her I was scared. Was I moving because I knew where I was meant to be, or was I running away? She stared at me and asked: “When does the feeling of escapism come up for you?” 

Me: “When I am feeling upset, out of control, or triggered.” 

T: “What makes you feel upset, out of control, or triggered?”

Me: “When I am dissatisfied with my relationships or feel like my needs are not met.” 

T: “So the feeling of escapism means what?” 

Me: “That there is a need for change.” 

While I physically left my past behind, escaping did not wipe the slate clean, make my relationships better, or change them in any way. However, this physical distance has given me one thing: a choice. Do I let these relationships stay the same and feel the hurt of our distance, or do I hold onto hope and try to fix what has felt so irrevocably wrong?

Dumplings from Chinatown!

From my new apartment window, I often see people lugging their baggage to the nearby hotels, and I think about my mom and dad. I think about the three of us just a month before, trudging down the street just like them. I can see us several days later saying our goodbyes outside the very building I reside in. My parents hugged me and told me they loved me. I replied the same. They gave me advice about college and life. I tried to listen, but my unhideable annoyance shut it down. I think of all the support they attempted to give me, even if, to my stubborn brain, it had been nothing more than: “I already know this.” I think about all these things, and the regret hits like a tidal wave. 

Perhaps this is what it means to want to hold on. To feel regret over the things that didn’t change. And to remember the positive moments and smile—playing dumpling roulette, eating sandwiches from North End at a small park surrounded by squirrels, and walking through the Commons in the comfort of all the greenery. 

So, today, I’ll call my parents. I’ll tell them about my life in Boston—about my supportive friends, the guy I like, and the date he has planned for us, the clubs I’ve joined, and the adventures I am going on. Most importantly, I’ll call and tell them how I feel: I miss them and know things have been complicated and strained, but I want us to be close. 

There is only so much I can do to fix our relationship now, especially so far from home. But, I can inspire change with the people I love by communicating my feelings instead of hiding it all away. Maybe my effort won’t change anything tremendous, but I can at least say I tried.

Kung Fu Tea is a great place to get boba for you and your friends! Bring your student ID for a Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal!

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Delulu is the Solulu: Journaling for Creative Expression

Monday, September 23rd, 2024

Contrary to popular ‘film bro’ belief, you actually do not need to take psychedelics to unlock your inner creativity. Among the many ways one can use journaling for personal wellness, arguably one of the most popular is to explore creative expression. Often, the idea of journaling is met with the stereotypical image of a teenage girl in her bedroom, feet swinging in the air, a smile on her face, and a familiar “Dear Diary…” monologue that almost always includes a crush on a boy (because what else could women possibly have to think about, right?) However, journaling doesn’t have to be all touchy-feely-existential-dread all the time; it can be a strategic machine that helps writers, lyricists, filmmakers, artists, and other creators overcome their mental blocks and find inspiration. 

A photo I took around this time last year of gloomy autumn weather.

One of my favorite ways to stay in tune with my creative writing is doing something I call “The Five Senses.” When I journal in the evening, I usually recount the most prominent events and feelings I encountered that day. “I am absolutely exhausted” shows up a lot. “Today at work…” is another popular one, unfortunately. But sometimes this can take away from the actual sensations I experience on a second-to-second basis—all the little things that make life so beautifully sappy. I write down the five senses and try to describe the most influential senses I experienced or the ones that brought me the most joy. Here’s an example from my journal from this past Thursday:

Sight: Dark, gloomy overcast. Wet asphalt. Tiny raindrops on the passenger seat window. 

Smell: Orange citrus from my vitamins. Potent, nauseating, artificial.

Taste: Curry tofu, sweet and spicy, rich, crispy. soft, chewy potatoes. Savory, satisfying. 

Touch: My boyfriend’s 5 o’clock shadow. Prickly, comforting, endorphin-releasing, lovely.

Sound: Autumn Lo-Fi Jazz I play at work to concentrate. Soothing, familiar, easy. 

This technique helps me describe sensations in more detail, easing my transition from journal writing to creative writing. It also helps me stay present and appreciate all of the wonderful things happening around me, which is definitely needed in a world like today’s. 

love love love curry tofu in the fall.

Some other prompts can help you think more outside the box. If you need a creative spark that’s going to really turn some heads, consider getting a journal prompt book, which is available online and in stores for cheap. You can also find prompts on the internet and use those once a week or month for your journaling practice. Some examples include:

  • Make a list of questions you would ask a future version of yourself. Which version would you want to speak with the most?
  • Choose a random object in your room. What characteristics do you have in common with it, metaphorically and physically?
  • Invent an impossible tool that would make your life more efficient or interesting.
  • Imagine you get the chance to be any animal for a day. Which animal would you pick, and what would you do?
  • If you could visit the past, where would you go, and what would you do there?

Another popular way to unlock your creative expression is to free write. This is a technique where you time yourself and write down whatever comes to mind without pausing to think or erase anything. I often free write with a time limit of five minutes, although it’s not uncommon to lengthen your session. Sometimes when I read over my free-write, it is purely gibberish and more of a stream-of-consciousness than anything. Other times, I realize there is a pattern of thought going on in my brain, and that pattern might be a good topic to explore in my writing. 

Let’s not forget that journaling is a form of creativity in itself. Annie Ernaux, a French writer who won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2022, published her diary entries as a collection titled “Getting Lost.” The book was listed as one of the best books of 2022 by the BBC and a must-read by Time. It is a favorite of mine for its honest portrayal of emotional vulnerability.

Overall, there are a ton of ways to participate in journaling as a means of creative expression. You may need to try a few to see which ones work the best for you, but once you find your niche, you’re sure to flourish.  

Calling all Boston students! Welcome the chilly fall season with some piping hot Indian cuisine from Maharaja’s in Cambridge, and take 20% off with a student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Chapter Eight: You Have More Choice than You Know

Monday, August 5th, 2024

I had planned to interview either a friendship coach like Danielle Bayard Jackson, a female empowerment coach (which I never knew was a thing before conducting this research), or a feminist theorist/academic like Dr. Bec Wonders for this final chapter. An interview with either of these professionals would have helped me better tackle heavy subjects like the female happiness paradox, female friendships, and other issues related to modern womanhood. These are topics I had to include here because college is an institution that takes women out of the home, which is very significant for women’s freedom. It was hard finding someone who fit the profile of who I wanted to interview while overcoming scheduling conflicts. But I will dive into these topics the best way I know how.

Choice is essentially at the root of what feminism is about. However, not everyone—especially not every woman—has the same degree of choice as the other. There are many women, especially those marginalized, who are forced to make constrained choices because of social, cultural, familial, political, and economic pressures. It is even important to note that while many women from Western cultures experience more choice than those from Eastern cultures, that doesn’t necessarily mean the choices available to Western women will automatically grant them happiness and fulfillment considering the pressures modern women have to work more than previous decades.

All women will fall somewhere within the “free choice-constrained choice” debate, for which one paper offers a third view—“satisficing”; this being when specifically women make a choice that may not be preferable but is good enough depending on unique personal circumstances (though not used in other sources, I use “free choice” instead of “choice” to be more specific). I may not want to admit it to myself, but I feel I might have been making more constrained choices than “satisficing” ones. The only free choice I would consider I have ever made would be going to college since I always wanted to go since senior year of high school—though my parents expected me to go too.

This subject for women is often fraught with shame, guilt, and regret because women feel pressured to make the “right” choice. But only anti-feminists believe there is such a thing as the “right” choice for a woman. Ultimately, no one has the right to tell another what kind of life they should live. And even if any woman ultimately makes a choice that is wrong for them personally, life is still meant to explore whatever options are disposable and appreciate the lessons that come with it anyways.

Additionally, our lives are made for multiple choices and not just one. I myself have felt regret for rejecting many men who were in some way interested in me because I didn’t want the “death sentence” of singlehood to be my fate as a woman. It wasn’t until I realized the pressure I felt to get married and have children was ironically a way of affording the possibility of moving into my own apartment. Marriage might have been a temporary solution towards my goal of financial stability, but there always seemed to be a trade-off lurking in the shadows (e.g., dual income replaced with unequal domestic labor in long-term partnerships).

Similarly, I felt regret when I quit a dream internship because it being fully remote was making it more difficult to manage the boundaries between work and my family. After a while, I realized that my peace of mind was much greater than any career regrets. I would rather work a tolerable in-person job to a fully-remote job I liked because the latter required more out of me emotionally and physically. Having been on both sides of the choice paradox fence, I felt like I was sacrificing too much. Though, I can’t say I am not grateful for these experiences because they redirected my energy towards more sustainable options.

While the female happiness paradox (though, I prefer to call it the “woman’s choice paradox”) tells us that women are under a lot more stress because of the constrained or satisficing choices we have to make, there are still ways for women to create more or better choices for themselves in an increasingly anti-woman political landscape. It may seem ironic that I hold a very optimistic view about women’s gains—not just in the West—while talking about the limits on women’s choice. On the other hand, it is important to recognize that freedom is a lifetime pursuit under capitalism; and many of us can find freedom to varying degrees depending on the path(s) we take.

One way women can create more or better choices is to keep their friendships with other women close. Though there are many obstacles that stand in the way of female friendships keeping strong as cited by Dr. Bec Wonders, women still make great efforts to maintain a support network; actually, college-educated women are more likely than college-educated men to have a close friend at work. The second way towards more choice is attending networking events, meetups, or social events for women such as the Women’s Connection Summit led by Danielle Bayard Jackson, and/or social clubs where mostly women are likely to be in attendance. The last way towards more choice is to take inspiration from and highlight other women’s work, especially those who you would want to work with in the future. By continuously reaching out to other women, you can learn from them, create awareness of necessary and impactful work, and likely develop bonds that will last a lifetime. Connection creates abundance, of course.

two women standing next to each other in front of a white wall
Women work better together.
Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/two-women-standing-next-to-each-other-in-front-of-a-white-wall-OUxbYsnmPJI
Connect with your girls over lunch using this 15% off coupon!

By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 7: You Don’t Have to Stay Home

Monday, July 29th, 2024

Renowned relationship expert Paul C. Brunson while on the Diary of a CEO podcast said something along the lines of “Go where you’re scarce.” This resonated heavily with me when trying to figure out what reasons there were for me to stay home that it started to look like I wasn’t growing the way I wanted to; and I was never convinced it was a good idea in the first place. I ignored the longstanding struggle I had with connecting with my home city and neighborhood. There was a voice telling me that I would be abandoning the very place that essentially made me. And the people.

There was a clear mismatch between myself and my environment. I honestly felt more of a transplant than a true native New Yorker. I was never a fan of the hustle mentality, never favored the overcrowded streets, and never blended in beyond the racial diversity of my neighborhood in the Bronx. Paul C. Brunson pointed me to the concept of “environmental mastery,” which is one of the six dimensions of psychological well-being: self-acceptance, positive relationships, autonomy, environmental mastery, purpose, and personal growth. I found environmental mastery to be the most difficult to fulfill right after positive relationships.

I found myself competing against strangers on the street for a couple seconds of quiet in a city and neighborhood that wasn’t built for that. I was even racing for space on narrow sidewalks, subway platforms, and other frantic spaces. This wasn’t the way I wanted to interact with the city; all I wanted was to sit and take it all in. Sadly, it seemed like speed was erasing a lot of the city from my memory, especially the positive memories I did have from childhood. The city got too big for me to feel seen. Not that I needed to be bigger than it, but I wanted to feel like there could be traces of me while I am still here. It looked more and more like the only way for me to reach environmental mastery was moving out of the city.

a group of people crossing a street in a city
A taste of the Big Apple.
Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-group-of-people-crossing-a-street-in-a-city-F2m6TRfBwko

I’ve already given much credit to my college years for getting me out of the domesticity bubble when family was at the center of my identity, my life. But I have to give it much more for even getting me to consider moving out of the city as an option. That never looked like an option when I thought all I had was here in New York City–or at least what I thought I had was here. College awakened a desire in me for more than what I was used to for all my childhood and adolescence. New travels, new people, and a chance to discover my own tastes in everything there is to enjoy in life.

Making the decision to leave your hometown isn’t the kind of decision you can make on an impulse, but it is particularly beneficial for us 20-somethings. Moving out of your hometown can give you the chance to recreate your identity based on a newly discovered sense of self, a more expansive social circle, and more decision-making control over your immediate space—throw in more control over your time. It can feel so powerful to build a life of your own even if away from the influences of those you grew up with. For those who have a burning desire to start anew like myself but find it difficult to make those first moves (no pun intended), it might help to pay close attention to any strong emotions that come up when you think about your hometown because that could indicate a larger trend of lack of contentment. Sad to say I relate to this.

I always knew I wanted to leave New York City, even all throughout college. Fear managed to get the best of me, and I stayed put for years, even when I had multiple opportunities to study or work abroad. Sharing a two-bedroom apartment with 5 other family members, working extra hard to not afford the apartments I wanted, and not having the time for a social life was negatively impacting my mental and physical health, yet I ignored that for years. Now, I won’t pretend and say that your problems will magically disappear the moment you move out. But moving out of your hometown might free you from negative environments, make you more responsible for yourself, and perhaps reveal a you that always existed but struggled to be seen in the old environment. I think there is no greater reason than finally growing into yourself to create a new home.

You can still save money when you move out. Save 10% on any hardware essentials with this coupon!

By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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An Ever-Evolving City

Wednesday, July 24th, 2024

After completing an entire school year at Columbia University, so many people have asked me “how did you like your first year?”. It’s safe to say that I left campus a changed person. I learned, I laughed, I got off at the wrong subway station more times than I can count. When I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge for the first time,  I was so sure I had made the right decision to move across the country. When an East Coast storm flooded the streets, the subway, and my shoes, my heart ached for home. It was all so much. The one constant about New York is that it’s always changing. Buildings are erected and dismantled in the blink of an eye, while the scaffolding at the corner store stands tall and immortal. The subway takes millions of passengers across the city every day, each with a different destination in mind. At times, New York can feel like it’s moving too fast. 

A photo of the world trade center, one of NYC’s most recognizable and imposing buildings. Taken on 35mm film.

Over the course of the past few chapters, I’ve investigated the different miracles and mishaps that come with one’s freshman year in New York City. Finding community is essential to maintaining sanity while finding your place in this whirlwind of a city. Exploring your neighborhood, joining clubs with similar interests, and practicing small acts of kindness are a few ways to promote a pleasant and healthy shift into undergraduate life from the shelters of high school. At the end of the day, these have been a few tools and tips I’ve laid out to help support the incoming college freshman. Questions, however, are still bound to arise even after these practices are put into action. What happens after freshman year is over? How can I make new friends after the first semester? Can I survive this place for three more years?

Though I can proudly claim I’ve survived a year in New York, I’ve still got a long way to go before I’ve fully realized all that the city has to offer. The honest truth is that I don’t have everything figured out yet, but another truth exists in tandem: I don’t have to! The opportunities, lessons, and experiences available in this metropolis are as sprawling and infinite as the city itself. One could spend a lifetime and a half living in New York and barely scratch its surface. It’s unrealistic to try and master it all, but it’s worthwhile to experience as much as you can. As young adults in New York City, it’s our privilege and responsibility to squeeze as much as we can out of our time here. Emphasis on “as much as we can”, nothing more. Take in as much as you can bear with grace and move forward. 

My family visiting me in the city, a photo that reminds me that hope and love can exist here too. Taken on 35mm film.

Adaptability and growth mindsets are your best friends when it comes to reconciling with life in the Big Apple. The power of the growth mindset, believing that your current can be developed and is not fixed, is dynamic and cherishable. The ability to change yourself for the better is crucial when it comes to that smooth transition home sweet home to the urban jungle. Whether you’re anxious to start your first year in New York City or you’re frustrated because your subway is delayed again, retaining that growth mindset is one of the best ways to get through it all. So while you’re out living your dreams in the city that never sleeps, remember: New York City is ever-evolving, so we should be too.

By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes

Theres nothing wrong with treating yourself every once in a while. Students can get 15% off a meal at The Grand Feast by showing a coupon and student ID.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Posted in Family, Friendship, NYC Student Guide, NYC Student Guide KickStarter Project, onCollege, onLife, onLove, Out On The Town, Relationships, Uniqueness in NYC, University | No Comments »

Growing Pains: Chapter 4- Plants

Wednesday, July 17th, 2024

I start this chapter off with an inquiry. Can one have too many friends? As someone who naturally keeps their circle small, this question hasn’t ever really crossed my mind. I certainly didn’t think about it when I was trying to befriend every friendly face I came across at school. But when I made the friends who would eventually stick with me that first semester, I learned that friendship comes with persistence. I would make the effort to talk to them everyday after class, even if it was about the most trivial things, showing not only an interest in them but that I cared to seek them out. It was like watering a flower every day, and as time passed that flower bloomed into a great friendship. But much like the fauna outside of this metaphor, if left unattended for too long, a flower will begin to wilt until ultimately, it is left without any petals and its stem that once stood tall and firm can be shoved over with a gentle swaying of the breeze. I was nurturing the new, vibrant flowers in the forefront of my garden of friendships, wanting them to reach the heights of those who came before them. But as they grew, they obscured my sight of those very flowers in the back. As they basked in the shadows of their successors, their stems slowly leaned to the left and their petals grew wrinkly, all while I remained blissfully unaware, blind to their deteriorating states.

Tulips that are almost in full bloom 🙂

 
I mentioned before that I took a different route from my high school peers and went to a university outside of my home state. And I’ve mentioned more times than I can recall that I was laser-focused on ensuring that I would not be lonely without them. Yet another thing I failed to consider in that endeavor, is not only how to maintain the friendships I’d make, but how to keep the ones I’d leave behind. It would not be an exaggeration to say that they dropped like flies, the flowers with unsteady roots dying first, and the stronger ones holding out until the very end of their lifespan. Some of these freshly failed friendships were a blessing in disguise, as the distance allowed me to slowly, but surely, cease contact with the people who I fully intended to keep as a high school memory. Not everyone is meant to follow you until the end of your journey in life, and that’s more than okay. Some people are meant to be in certain phases of your life, but as you change and grow, you may not find a place where they fit nicely anymore. I will restate that friendships form most strongly when rooted in convenience and consistency. If I’m no longer seeing someone every day, that immediately shatters this foundation, and if our friendship isn’t strong enough to withhold it, it’ll simply fade away. In all honesty, this is one of the healthiest ways to end friendships. If you think about them as plants, they are weeds taking up space in your garden and when you nip them in the bud and get them out, everything looks a lot better. As Psych Central quotes, “Many friendships dissolve naturally over time, as you grow up and grow apart. Sometimes, letting go of a friend who is no longer a good fit for you can actually improve your quality of life.” So to answer my initial question, you must envision your garden of friendship. Are there lots of weeds? Dried and browning stems? Falling petals? If so, drifting apart may be for the better.

Use this student discount for some fun treats and desserts!

By Tiana Gregg

Tiana is a rising junior at NYU majoring in English and minoring in Art History. She spends her days reading, writing, listening to music, and indulging in just about every hobby (except sports!) you can think of to fill her time. You will never find her idling.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter Five: The Comfort of Home-Cooked Meals

Monday, July 15th, 2024

One of the biggest benefits I think I had of staying home for college was and is the home-cooked meals. Being a New York native, it is par for the course to eat out on your breaks in college or during work. However, rarely do I hear about the college students or New Yorkers who bring home-cooked meals (or the occasional lunchable—no shame!) with them to college or work. I don’t think I would have survived overspending on eating out as an unemployed college student. Even once there was money flow, I had to properly budget my money if I was to survive New York City’s living costs however long I needed to.

The biggest expense after rent and utilities is food, of course. As a single woman, if I didn’t still live with my parents, it would have cost me thousands more monthly to live a comfortable life in New York City. I have heard plenty of horror stories about college students who either dorm or live off-campus forced to live paycheck to paycheck trying to decide whether to use their little money left on rent (or tuition/loan payments) or food. If there is any advice I can give, it’s to save as much as you can if your family is willing to financially support you. If not, split your payments with roommates if possible. Life is so much better when you don’t have to be hyper-independent.

As much as I really wanted to move out of my parent’s two-bedroom apartment in the Bronx at 19, I knew I didn’t have a plan in mind. And I hadn’t yet developed trust in my ability to feed myself without my mother on hand. From that point to now, I have understood the importance of conserving money, energy, and time. It might be true that you have to spend money to make money, but you also have to make your money grow and last enough so that you don’t have to work your entire life. Start through being mindful of what isn’t worth your “MET” (money, energy, and time), and assess how much of your MET is being wasted. Then, invest in people, places, and things that will maximize your MET.

Food is fuel. And given how quickly time elapses, food should be as healthful and last as much as your money is making it. That’s why buying in bulk is the best. The less grocery runs you have to make after still having a steady supply of food, toiletries, cleaning supplies, and other household items needed for daily or weekly use, the more money, energy, and time you save every month. Money isn’t just important in this equation—the more time you invest into your health, the more time and energy you will have to live your life.

Half-eaten mac & cheese my brother made me.

Home-cooked meals are exactly one of those things that will maximize your MET. According to an Aetna article, home-cooked meals are proven to be healthier than takeout meals, giving us a lower calorie intake, a more health-conscious mentality, and mental productivity. As a New Yorker, home-cooked meals have brought me closer to a slow-living lifestyle I would like to live more of if and when I decide to move out of the city. Eating out (and going fast in general) may get us many of the things we want and need at a convenient speed, but constantly engaging in consumptive habits will at some point remind us we need to slow down.

My college campus was one of the few places where I felt I could slow down. Even while under the social pressure to move and act fast, there were always designated spaces to be in stillness and be encouraged to not over-consume in body, mind, and spirit. Making use of the college food pantry (and pre-made lunches), the shuttle bus, counseling services, the college library, and more are great investments towards getting more for less, and building a life of growth instead of consumption.

The deli always comes in clutch! Save on groceries with 10% off!

By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Growing Pains: Chapter 3- Magnets

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

I, along with anyone who has attended any university, know that the people you meet during that first week will not be amongst the faces you see when you walk down the aisle at your wedding. If you are lucky, you may see them in passing down the street, and if you are even luckier, a smile or familiar gaze may be exchanged between you two. Alas, if you are like the majority of us, these things won’t ever happen to you, and as sad as it may sound, it is simply one of many blips that occur in the journey that is college. In the first week of school, I found myself making introductions with anyone that would cross my path, regardless of our compatibility or even shared hobbies. “Oh you like Stephen King? I saw the trailer for It once!” I was securing companionships to avoid being lost and lonely in the sea of hundreds of unfamiliar faces filled with passion and strong opinions that made up Manhattan. All for the fruits of my labor to disappear within the next couple of days. 

Surrounded by so many people, how do you find the ones for you?

It was startling when the group chat of ten people I was in slowly fizzled out, and plans stopped being made. It was easy to spend hours dedicated to wondering what went wrong. How had I made and kept friends in all the years prior to this? Although college is a very unique experience, it is not alien to everything you have ever experienced before it. In high school, one is shoved into a cramped building with at least one hundred other students, in your graduating class alone, and something akin to natural selection takes place. You gravitate like magnets to those like yourself and befriend the faces you see every day. The remainder of those around you are plucked out from the social pool, and become mere backdrops to the place that becomes the center of your universe. Julie, who sits next to you in algebra every morning is more likely to become your friend than Alan, who is on the opposite side of the building taking science classes the same morning. Forced proximity breeds the most intimate of relationships, and psychology supports this. A Very Well Mind article states, “In social psychology, the proximity principle suggests that people closer together in a physical environment are more likely to form a relationship than those farther away. ”(Vinney) This boils down to the simple concept of convenience. It is far easier to reach out to the person you sit next to in your 8 am class than the person you met a week ago at some random event who lives in a dorm on the other side of campus. You have no motive to seek the latter individual out, not because of anything personal, but because you do not know them, thus making any efforts to go see them become tedious and unnecessary, and you eventually give up on any possible prospect of friendship. The same thing can occur even when you love someone, which is why many shy away from the idea of long-distance relationships. Closeness is crucial to most relationships, and when you have one that is burdened by physical distance, the main priority is usually to minimize that distance as soon as possible. This is how I realized I could not force a friendship with those who were slipping from my grasp.

Use this coupon for an icy treat to stay cool!

By Tiana Gregg

Tiana is a rising junior at NYU majoring in English and minoring in Art History. She spends her days reading, writing, listening to music, and indulging in just about every hobby (except sports!) you can think of to fill her time. You will never find her idling.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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