Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

An Ever-Evolving City

Wednesday, July 24th, 2024

After completing an entire school year at Columbia University, so many people have asked me “how did you like your first year?”. It’s safe to say that I left campus a changed person. I learned, I laughed, I got off at the wrong subway station more times than I can count. When I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge for the first time,  I was so sure I had made the right decision to move across the country. When an East Coast storm flooded the streets, the subway, and my shoes, my heart ached for home. It was all so much. The one constant about New York is that it’s always changing. Buildings are erected and dismantled in the blink of an eye, while the scaffolding at the corner store stands tall and immortal. The subway takes millions of passengers across the city every day, each with a different destination in mind. At times, New York can feel like it’s moving too fast. 

A photo of the world trade center, one of NYC’s most recognizable and imposing buildings. Taken on 35mm film.

Over the course of the past few chapters, I’ve investigated the different miracles and mishaps that come with one’s freshman year in New York City. Finding community is essential to maintaining sanity while finding your place in this whirlwind of a city. Exploring your neighborhood, joining clubs with similar interests, and practicing small acts of kindness are a few ways to promote a pleasant and healthy shift into undergraduate life from the shelters of high school. At the end of the day, these have been a few tools and tips I’ve laid out to help support the incoming college freshman. Questions, however, are still bound to arise even after these practices are put into action. What happens after freshman year is over? How can I make new friends after the first semester? Can I survive this place for three more years?

Though I can proudly claim I’ve survived a year in New York, I’ve still got a long way to go before I’ve fully realized all that the city has to offer. The honest truth is that I don’t have everything figured out yet, but another truth exists in tandem: I don’t have to! The opportunities, lessons, and experiences available in this metropolis are as sprawling and infinite as the city itself. One could spend a lifetime and a half living in New York and barely scratch its surface. It’s unrealistic to try and master it all, but it’s worthwhile to experience as much as you can. As young adults in New York City, it’s our privilege and responsibility to squeeze as much as we can out of our time here. Emphasis on “as much as we can”, nothing more. Take in as much as you can bear with grace and move forward. 

My family visiting me in the city, a photo that reminds me that hope and love can exist here too. Taken on 35mm film.

Adaptability and growth mindsets are your best friends when it comes to reconciling with life in the Big Apple. The power of the growth mindset, believing that your current can be developed and is not fixed, is dynamic and cherishable. The ability to change yourself for the better is crucial when it comes to that smooth transition home sweet home to the urban jungle. Whether you’re anxious to start your first year in New York City or you’re frustrated because your subway is delayed again, retaining that growth mindset is one of the best ways to get through it all. So while you’re out living your dreams in the city that never sleeps, remember: New York City is ever-evolving, so we should be too.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


Theres nothing wrong with treating yourself every once in a while. Students can get 15% off a meal at The Grand Feast by showing a coupon and student ID.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter Five: The Comfort of Home-Cooked Meals

Monday, July 15th, 2024

One of the biggest benefits I think I had of staying home for college was and is the home-cooked meals. Being a New York native, it is par for the course to eat out on your breaks in college or during work. However, rarely do I hear about the college students or New Yorkers who bring home-cooked meals (or the occasional lunchable—no shame!) with them to college or work. I don’t think I would have survived overspending on eating out as an unemployed college student. Even once there was money flow, I had to properly budget my money if I was to survive New York City’s living costs however long I needed to.

The biggest expense after rent and utilities is food, of course. As a single woman, if I didn’t still live with my parents, it would have cost me thousands more monthly to live a comfortable life in New York City. I have heard plenty of horror stories about college students who either dorm or live off-campus forced to live paycheck to paycheck trying to decide whether to use their little money left on rent (or tuition/loan payments) or food. If there is any advice I can give, it’s to save as much as you can if your family is willing to financially support you. If not, split your payments with roommates if possible. Life is so much better when you don’t have to be hyper-independent.

As much as I really wanted to move out of my parent’s two-bedroom apartment in the Bronx at 19, I knew I didn’t have a plan in mind. And I hadn’t yet developed trust in my ability to feed myself without my mother on hand. From that point to now, I have understood the importance of conserving money, energy, and time. It might be true that you have to spend money to make money, but you also have to make your money grow and last enough so that you don’t have to work your entire life. Start through being mindful of what isn’t worth your “MET” (money, energy, and time), and assess how much of your MET is being wasted. Then, invest in people, places, and things that will maximize your MET.

Food is fuel. And given how quickly time elapses, food should be as healthful and last as much as your money is making it. That’s why buying in bulk is the best. The less grocery runs you have to make after still having a steady supply of food, toiletries, cleaning supplies, and other household items needed for daily or weekly use, the more money, energy, and time you save every month. Money isn’t just important in this equation—the more time you invest into your health, the more time and energy you will have to live your life.

Half-eaten mac & cheese my brother made me.

Home-cooked meals are exactly one of those things that will maximize your MET. According to an Aetna article, home-cooked meals are proven to be healthier than takeout meals, giving us a lower calorie intake, a more health-conscious mentality, and mental productivity. As a New Yorker, home-cooked meals have brought me closer to a slow-living lifestyle I would like to live more of if and when I decide to move out of the city. Eating out (and going fast in general) may get us many of the things we want and need at a convenient speed, but constantly engaging in consumptive habits will at some point remind us we need to slow down.

My college campus was one of the few places where I felt I could slow down. Even while under the social pressure to move and act fast, there were always designated spaces to be in stillness and be encouraged to not over-consume in body, mind, and spirit. Making use of the college food pantry (and pre-made lunches), the shuttle bus, counseling services, the college library, and more are great investments towards getting more for less, and building a life of growth instead of consumption.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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An Introduction to World-Saving: Prologue

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

Admiring the blush blooming across the pinched cheeks of young tourists as they drink the cheapest red wine our Sicilian villa offers and the sloppy kisses they plant on their agape, laughing lips, I have unwillingly permitted several realizations to seep through my intermittent head throbs. It is my birthday tomorrow. I will turn twenty years old, and I have failed at living as a teenage girl. 

The finite potential I saved up for my teenage years, as if they were points to be redeemed at Dave & Busters or paid time off hours set aside for a short-lived vacation, has rotted and will wither in the next sun cycle to a place neither time nor I could catch it.

In retrospect, I’m grateful for the few parties I’d made appearances at, football games I’d stood in the back of, and crushes in class who had served primarily as muses for poetry but had not been of substantial importance as to break my freshman spirit. They would come later. I had snuck out of the house to meet boys, tried out for the softball team, and stuck my head out a sunroof under the cover of a tunnel. I had checked off the little things on the mental list I prepared in my pre-teens, yet coronavirus and the abnormal hardwiring of my mind had been the catalysts to my primarily online academic journey in the second half of high school. 

After a series of unfortunate events, I had been advised by school administration to not attend prom nor walk the stage for the mental safety of myself and physical safety of others, while the rest of my graduating class—mainly comprised of eerily similar Barbies and Kens clothed in milkmaid dresses and in suits of fine fabric from places I’ve never heard of—had thrown their crimson-colored caps at the peak of spring weather, and the following week rented beach houses the to consume liquor stolen from their equally plastic doll-like parents. 

I’d spent a few months isolated, experiencing ceaseless depression and feelings of ostracization. For my own wellbeing, I couldn’t leave the house nor use any electronics. If I had a visitor, which had only ever been my younger cousin or my close neighbor, they’d be screened for devices which had to be left at the foyer. 

I hadn’t been one to drop my schoolbooks and have an unassuming, charming upperclassmen retrieve them for me. Boys had not stolen glances at me in the halls. The cheerleaders had never sat with me for lunch. My hair had not been blown out on a bimonthly basis, instead it had been buzzed short because of my alleged depression and anxiety that ripped it off in thick clumps. I had lacked the blackout parties, spontaneous coastal trips, and urban explorations. With only myself to blame, I had chosen to remain cooped inside and ruminate over the potential I had, rather than pursue the efforts it would take to self actualize.

Then came university. In my first year, I splurged most of my money on lavish dinners, chic bodily adornments, and overpriced tickets to piano recitals. I invested my leisure time in projects I had no real passions for so as to be perceived as an intelligent, indestructible, and interesting woman. Months of precariously crafting a pristine and beautiful facade eventually proved futile, as the ostentatious exterior inevitably crumbled when I revisited my hometown and found myself disinterested in impressing my high school counterparts. 

Now I wear my well-loved clothes from senior year, detaching old memories and infusing new ones into their distressed sleeves and eclectic buttons. Deviating from saving money for elegant evenings amongst older company, I presently opt to expand my wunderkammer of vintage cameras and to purchase flights to cities I’d never thought to visit. The need to adopt a pretentious personality that fed on underground jazz artists and bled orchestral symphonies from the Renaissance dissipated. I could listen to mainstream rock and indie classics meant to make the young and stupid drunk on the liveliness they swell in. I began to savor the world again, like a little kid given their first dollar at a candy store. This abrupt but welcome thrill was the impetus for my drive to play a role in saving the world.

And so here is my epiphany. If we, the people that inhabit the world, hope to ensure this miraculous planet stays afloat in our universe, there are various key concepts we need to understand. We must adopt collectivist notions and realize that human beings have the shared responsibility of caring for the Earth. Those of us who are fortunate enough to have our basic needs met have the opportunity to take action toward creating a society where the needs of others are also fulfilled. 

Based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it can be believed that if people had access to clean food, safe housing, and secure jobs, they would be more inclined to seek endeavors conceptualized by minds at their highest potential (Maslow 1943, 430). Perhaps if one were to add a genuine sense of belonging and community, coupled with a healthy self-esteem, to these people, they would truly self-actualize and choose to engage in methods of mending the world. Maybe if Oishee found authentic connection among her peers, she would be apt to start volunteering weekly at the communal food shelter. Maybe if Darrell earned a sufficient salary to avoid living paycheck to paycheck, he would begin smiling at strangers and gain the confidence to engage in small talk. Maybe if Jimena had scheduled therapy and developed a support system, she would willingly host fundraisers for mental health non-profits. 

We must note that kindness is not a panacea for all evils, but a tool in the grand scheme of it all. It is the simplest of seeds we can plant to prompt the growth of hectares of worldly goodness. Rarely do situations de-escalate when multiple parties are brash, hostile, and dismissive. My friends and partners learned, sooner than I, that setting boundaries whilst remaining gentle, patient, and loving is most effective in alleviating my stress and calming my anger. Of course, this does not work in cases where negotiations preventing the termination of a mass genocide built over the course of decades of history is at play. The principle still stands: looking out for our fellow people is the root of how society can be improved and earth can be healed. It can begin with a seed planted by one of us. 

This is a collection of experiences from my adolescence that have driven me to contribute towards sustaining this planet we hold dear. Motivation is everywhere and I think I have it in me to participate in  change-making agendas. Will you play a part in saving the world?

References 

Maslow, A.H. (1943). “A Theory of Human Motivation”. In Physiological Review, 50 (4), 430-437.

Ansorger, Jennifer. 2021. “An Analysis of Education Reforms and Assessment in the Core Subjects Using an Adapted Maslow’s Hierarchy: Pre and Post COVID-19” Education Sciences 11, no. 8: 376.


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Relationships with the City

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

Making the move to college can be an incredibly overwhelming and stressful process, but moving to college in New York City can be even tougher! Just like that, you’re tossed into a bottomless melting pot full of cultures, people, religions, you name it! In the mix up of decorating your dorm and forming new relationships, it can be difficult to understand the major transition you’re going through. Building a community is much like building up a relationship from scratch. Though it’s the key to a successful transition to college, sometimes New York itself can feel unapproachable or oversaturated.

In order to learn how to approach the city, it’s crucial to understand it first. In an effort to better understand the culture of New York, I reached out to Professor Marry Rocco. As Director of Engaged Scholarship, Community Engagement and Inclusion at Barnard College, Professor Rocco holds extensive knowledge in the fields of urban planning and community development. Not only is Professor Rocco knowledgeable about urban studies in general, but she has also completed numerous research projects and programming centered around the New York City region. Professor Rocco’s background makes her the perfect authority to better understand what keeps New York’s gears turning. Only when you comprehend how the city functions are you then able to find your place in it. Somewhere amongst the thousands of gears, wheels, and cogs, there’s a missing screw that only you can fit in.

A Día de los Muertos Performance in front of the New York City Public Library at Grand Army Plaza. At the time, the library was paying homage to Jay-Z with Black Lives Matter and other Black themed decorations. An interesting intersection of communities, taken on 35mm film.

While you might be excited about living your New York City dreams to the max as soon as possible, it’s important to first recognize the intersecting communities that you are joining upon move-in day. Prior to leaving home, you’re already a part of a distinguished set of communities. Whether they are based on your racial identity, shared interests, or common beliefs, some communities will be easier to adjust to from previous experiences. On top of those, however, are a bundle of new communities that you are entering. It’s important to consider that you are automatically entering the New York City community as well as your university community. With so many different spaces to belong to, Professor Rocco suggested starting with your homebase. Before going out and exploring the fashion scene in SoHo or checking out the artists down in Bushwick, consider getting to know your own campus first. Make the most of your orientation week and walk around the neighborhood that your campus resides in. It’s important to use this time to acclimate yourself as a college student first and a city resident second. 

A community I’ve found at Columbia, my end of the year Aikido Club practice in Central Park.
Taken on 35mm film.

 According to Professor Rocco,  engaging with a community is like engaging with any other relationship. Like relationships with people, you must dedicate time and understanding to advance them. You don’t marry someone after the first date, you take the time to assess their personality and your compatibility. The same logic can be applied to entering a new community! Beyond whether or not you share any common characteristics that would enhance your addition to the given community, your approach and intention are major factors that play a role in how well received your transition may be. In our conversation, Professor Rocco called attention to the privilege of being able to toss around phrases like “I want to get involved in the Harlem community.” She stressed the importance of entering communities with a curious and open mind as opposed to intervening with a goal/idea in mind. Deliberation and consideration on all aspects of this new relationship are essential in developing into a valuable and appreciated community member.

Internalizing and implementing all of these ideas can help determine whether or not your experience will be pleasant, additive, or accepted. New York City is densely populated and intricately regionalized, but by approaching communities like other relationships, you can find your community wherever you may end up.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


First impressions are everything when it comes to making new relationships. Get 20% off at Daniel’s Barbershop with student ID and coupon to look fresh and clean for any new relationships you encounter!

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter Four: The Beauty in Mess

Monday, July 8th, 2024

My mother always told me that straightening my curly hair was as important as going to school—like the state of your natural hair somehow aligned with the state of your life. If I failed to keep up with the biweekly hairdressing appointment before school or work, I would become a negative representation of my family. I would become a negative representation of a woman. A failure. Beauty for my family meant so much more than being able to attract people sexually or romantically—it meant being able to make or at least look like you make good decisions and are a positive role model. Say hello to the halo effect.

I don’t think there is any part of my life that isn’t messy. From my hair, to my feelings, decisions, relationships, to the notes in my notebooks, everything about me screams “mess.” I like to think that this messiness is a result of how self-contained I was in my childhood and adolescence. Even a result of perfectionism due to the pressures of being the eldest daughter of immigrant parents. Somehow, I was still able to make sense of life. I could accept that I wasn’t born a newly minted Barbie doll nor was I born to be one. My mess and flaws could be beautiful too.

a black and white photo of a naked woman
We aren’t meant to be perfect.
Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-black-and-white-photo-of-a-naked-woman-d97MDnRxpeU

I like to think that college freed me from the structure of K-12 education. With college, I had a legitimate excuse to make mistakes of all kinds. You didn’t have to know exactly what you wanted to study and could possibly change majors multiple times throughout the semester. You didn’t have to have three to four pages worth of experience to put on your resume because college was the interim period before you were fully flung into the workforce. Your life was a blank canvass you could paint however you wanted.

I was often afraid to make mistakes because I didn’t want to send the message to anyone that I couldn’t handle life. That I wasn’t trustworthy. Or a good decision-maker. But I argue that I turned out just fine after making tons of mistakes throughout college and after graduation. I don’t doubt there will be plenty more to make but just as many good decisions to make as well. The fear of making mistakes to me is simply the fear of regret. We don’t want to regret having created a mistake-ridden life. A lot of us ultimately want to be at least proud of our lives in the end.

I had to fight off a lot of doubt over whether I belonged at college or not. I could have made the mistake of dropping out entirely (and many different times) if I hadn’t used my campus’s counseling services. But there were many other resources and opportunities I could have made better use of. Such as participating in more campus events, writing more in my leisure time, sharing my work outside of class, participating more in class, not doing other people’s work for zero credit, and keeping certain contacts for future reference. Most of these, as you can see, have a lot to do with relationship-building—one of the things I struggle with the most.

I failed to set boundaries early in many of my relationships with classmates and workmates that I was growing very unhappy and unfulfilled. I was masking many of my true thoughts and feelings to hold onto some social approval, even if it wasn’t going to mean anything months or years later since we continue to meet new people in new places. I failed to hold intentional relationships instead of relationships of convenience, which led to a lot of alienation. It wasn’t what I truly wanted, and my mental and physical health suffered a lot because of this.

I tried patching my issues up with facial serums and masks, but it quickly proved to not be sufficient. As much as they brightened my skin (and occasionally boosted my mood), especially during exam weeks, it started to become more and more a reminder of how I was numbing my emotions. These beauty regimens helped me avoid the glances I’d frequently get from my mother when she thought my emotions were aging my face. It’s usually why I avoided looking at myself in the mirror. Beauty regimens would become my cover-up for good health, even when my issues were more than skin-deep.

Think of the beauty regimen exactly like our work routines. They are both often done to receive an external reward, involve excessive consumption, keep us measuring each other based on random numbers, and turn us into products. I was the product I kept making over just to be accepted by the world. And not only does our skin already do all it needs to on its own, but our brains and skin are more connected than we know. Instead of just focusing on the outside, we should do what some dermatologists recommend being “emotional skincare,” which is a beauty approach that aims to create better skin through better mental health.

College helped me be better to myself and my skin. I used to care so much when I’d forget to de-puff my eyes, moisturize my face, or exfoliate my legs because I put my parents’ wishes over mine. I realized that my skincare routine was never about me but about how I thought the world needed me to look. But being on a college campus, I almost magically stopped caring about what my parents and everyone else thought. Perhaps because they couldn’t claim that extra space I had for myself, I could feel comfortable enough taking off the metaphorical (and skincare) mask every now and then—at least in my own company. Comfortable enough with being messy and cleaning up after myself in private.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter Three: Breaks are Productive

Monday, July 1st, 2024

I always sensed from my Dominican immigrant parents that you had to really justify your breaks and even vacations. I remember feeling guilty for missing a few classes in middle school, even when I was very sick. I remember being in my high school Tae Kwon Do class doing jumping jack exercises, feeling so weak from my period symptoms that I felt I couldn’t jump anymore; yet my instructor kept telling the girls that periods weren’t any excuse not to do the exercises. And those high school days were long running from8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. These were among the many ways I was neglecting my health for the sake of hard work—unsurprisingly this only continued even more during college.

My childhood and adolescence was defined by my studies because that’s how I was taught to view life and success. I was taught that taking breaks was a distraction from continuing to increase your social status and making loads of money; two things that were extremely important for my family. It also felt like because they were themselves so used to the grind, they needed me to do the same in order to understand how much they sacrificed to get me to a decent life in the US. However, I think their view of personal sacrifices for me isn’t entirely accurate.

In some ways, I feel like I have sacrificed my entire self for my parents. I spent much of life building an inauthentic version of myself easy enough for them to manipulate. I prioritized my needs last, leading me to deprive myself of so much I needed in order to survive in the first place. Sometimes, I deprived myself of proper dinners just to work more to feel like I could pay my parental debt in labor. Other times, I gave up on precious sleep—something I am jealous of my twelve-year-old self for doing better—just to re-update my resume and apply for more jobs to feel like I wasn’t doing nothing at home.

If I happened to have too much free time, I couldn’t just journal, write for fun, listen to music, or chat with friends online without it feeling like I wasn’t being productive enough. Labor was the way my existence was justified. It was the way my parents felt I could properly honor them and even God. Even better if I could just handle doing it all as modern women are expected to. Clean. Cook. Babysit. Console. Get Paid. Being a woman was itself a full-time job with little benefits as I have come to face it more and more each day. And quitting was not a choice.

I have found that making time for both journaling and walking are forms of exercise I can easily do every day without hurting my wallet, my mind, or my body. One being more mental and the other being more physical, they still mirror each other in that they both keep me active and release me from self-containment—like I mentioned in the previous chapter. I have also found that journaling and walking facilitate each other, especially when I am in as open of a space as my college campus.

An empty train cart all to myself 🙂

These exercises encouraged me to continue tapping into my sense of interoception, one of the many other senses we humans have but aren’t too aware of. As a woman, I am aware that I have been spending a lot of time inside my head and haven’t given those feelings proper release out into the world. It almost felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin and transform into a butterfly in order to fly away from my problems. But I had to learn to love living in my human body and find my natural habitat—a place where I could smile, yell, laugh, and cry at a high volume without shame.

College was a break from home and everything else that came before it. College might cause some to grind even harder if they aren’t careful enough, but it gave me a resting place to slow down. Breaks, regardless of what they are breaks from, are productive because you have the space to properly enjoy yourself. You’re able to let your brain breathe, let yourself be inspired by the world, take notice of beautiful sights nature gifts you, and listen to your body when it may be telling you are consuming too much energy. If anything, your breaks allow you to be a proper student of life. Exactly why you shouldn’t let labor be your master.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Baby Steps to Community

Sunday, June 30th, 2024

“Hey there!”, “Good morning!”, “How can I help you?”. Greetings like these graced my ears a million times while I lived in California. It was so common that it seemed universal. It was a normalcy that I took for granted. 

It wasn’t till I hopped on a plane across the country and moved into my dorm at Columbia University that I realized just how much of a privilege those pleasantries were. Instead of being greeted with warm, genuine smiles, I was met with blank stares and indifferent attitudes. It was a shock to go so unnoticed in such a densely populated space. Maybe the fact that people are so ubiquitous in New York City reduces the impulse for human interaction. Maybe people are so caught up in the hustle and bustle of their own lives, they don’t have the mental capacity to acknowledge their own neighbors. Whatever the case may be, the difference between social interaction in California and New York City is undeniably apparent.

A snapshot of Washington Square Park. So many people in the same place, concerned with themselves. Taken on 35mm film.

For a while, this variation left me stunned. I felt like a fish out of water when my “please” and “thank you”s were met with confused faces. While this was certainly a culture shock, it was one that I was able to adapt to and eventually overcome. I’m all about appreciating the culture into which you are moving, but I also believe it’s important to remember where you came from. In this spirit, I chose to modify the way I carry myself in New York City. It’s important to curate a sense of community in your first few months of college, and this is virtually impossible without reaching out to people and starting conversation. With that being said, here’s a strategy that’s helped me retain my friendly West Coast mannerisms in the big City.

My advice is to begin with baby steps. Attitude and atmosphere are invisible characteristics, so it can be a surprise when they shift around you. I first noticed that my surroundings were different when the people on the street looked past me without a second thought. When I realized this, I had to take a step back and a breath inwards. What was I doing here? Should I be changing the way I act in order to fit in? These were the questions I had to ask myself as I was acclimating to the city. My answers all centered around the fact that I wanted to grow from the person I had been back home. Even though the city promotes individualism, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to grow without learning from people as well as my academic studies. With that in mind, I started practicing kindness in small gestures, like saying thank you to the security guards stationed at my residence hall, asking the dining hall workers how they were doing, and even holding open the door for other classmates. These small actions were the building blocks for greater actions like reaching out to professors during office hours or asking new friends to hang out. So many factors can overwhelm you during your freshman year of college, it can be difficult to stabilize yourself. Little by little, you can set yourself up to handle these important interactions with ease. 

Ideally, we would live in a world full of friendly and constructive communities. Questions and conversations would flow seamlessly between people of all different backgrounds. New York City’s reality is one of closed-off individuals, but that doesn’t mean we have to surrender to the social stigma of cordiality. I’m nowhere close to being confident in talking to strangers, making friends, or curating community. It’s an experience that requires patience, practice, and even failure. I’m willing to endure a fit of discomfort in order to perform small actions of kindness. In my opinion, discomfort is necessary if your goal is to grow as a person. Though it may be difficult to immediately behave with grace, I encourage you to take the small steps for the sake of building your greater community. It’s the little things that go a long way!


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


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At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter Two: Boundaries Exist and Distance is Necessary

Monday, June 24th, 2024

There is nothing worse than an unspoken boundary that is violated. I imagine many of us as kids, especially young girls, have grown up believing that we didn’t have the right to our own privacy and our own space. Living in a small two-bedroom apartment with four other family members for a great majority of my life, I know I didn’t. It was quite the chore not communicating boundaries that were always there but didn’t quite have the language or courage to uncover them when doing so was like the equivalent of committing a sin to my parents.

I had a level of freedom I couldn’t find for years living in a strong, seemingly impenetrable bubble of domesticity. I had these rumbling thoughts deep inside of me thinking—why did this have to mean home? Why couldn’t I get outside of the bubble and share with others who weren’t even my biological family? These thoughts raised a lot more questions than answers. My naturally curious self while raised to be incessantly obedient to my family was also stubborn to be challenged and released from this containment. There indeed always was and still is a life outside of the family and of the traditional home.

I had believed that my parents (and extended family) were entitled to all the private details of my life just because they were my blood. That blood erased the possibility of personal choice. Once I was aware that I would become a college student and an adult, and didn’t have to share everything with my family, I was relieved. My college campus was like a home away from home. I could create my own schedule, choose my own classes, choose my hangout spot, and do almost whatever I wanted without my parents’ or teachers’ input.

There were many people I met in college that seemed to use this freedom away from home as eagerly as I wanted to. Though, I would say in riskier ways than I was willing to. Plenty just wanted to drink, smoke, and have lots of careless sex. It isn’t downright awful to engage in any of these short-term pleasures, as long as they are measured and consensual. But freedom in college to me meant an entirely different thing. It meant getting closer to Mother Nature. Enjoying my own company. Reveling in my own aliveness. It was like a spiritual awakening to see just how much of this world there was for me to experience.

Going to college made me closer to nature, closer to myself, and closer to everyone I have learned major lessons from—even those I have run physically and emotionally away from. It made me see how many more similarities we carry to each other than we do differences. That we are all just wandering souls, even my own family would argue against that using the argument that biological ties are unbreakable. Essentially, that biology keeps at least some of us away from wandering too far. Even though chosen families exist, but that’s another conversation for another time.

Even if my college wasn’t too far from home, I found it a necessary part of my life. For some, college may have given them nothing; but for those such as myself, it saved me. College revealed to me how my perfectionism was hurting me. How staying neatly within the lines draw by home life was holding me back. I didn’t have to dedicate my entire life to my family. I didn’t even have to absolutely love spending time with them.

My college campus—repping City College of New York, of course—gave me a quiet thinking place away from the aggressive debates at home. It gave me beautiful buildings I could stare at without feeling like an awkward tourist. It was almost like a mini-city—not too huge that I didn’t feel like an ant and intimate enough to actually enjoy the nature around me and feel like a part of it too. Even riding the college shuttle bus almost every day to and from the train station made me feel like I owned the city for a couple of minutes. I was indeed a natural wanderer.

I admit that I have taken Mother Nature for granted plenty of times, and college put Her front and center so I wouldn’t ignore Her. After reading that academic greenspace provides many positives for college students such as more social interaction, sharper focus, improved moods, and improved cognitive performance, I thought about how academic greenspace made me feel more aligned with the world. I hadn’t felt more at ease and more myself than at my college campus. I thank Her for that.

Though small, my college campus will always be beautiful to me.

To conclude, I’d like to reference an Afro-Latinx Literature course I took in the Fall of 2022, which was taught by Bronx-born poet Mariposa at City College. What was so significant about this course was that my professor invited multiple writers and activists to speak to our class—many having been involved in the Nuyorican Movement and The Young Lords Party in the 60s and 70s in New York City. I remember in one of our earlier classes being taken to Remembrance Rock on our campus where there lay a plaque commemorating the Black and Puerto Rican students who protested for racial diversity and tuition-free college at City in 1969. Our class sat on the grass underneath the trees as we listened to our professor speak with peace. It was in this moment that I realized that learning should always be in nature and always reflect it.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Finding Safety In Your Situation

Thursday, June 13th, 2024

Planting my feet on Columbia University’s campus for the first time is an experience I will never forget. Before me was an oasis of grand buildings decorated with ancient names like Homer or Herodotus that I’d never heard before. Like many college freshmen in New York City, I was moving to a new place with what seemed like the entire world sprawled out before me. That feeling can be exhilarating at times, but daunting during others. Between all of the new faces, foods, and experiences you encounter, creating a community for yourself is a must when it comes to maintaining health and even sanity. At this pivotal moment in one’s life it’s crucial to find safety in your situation. 

A photo of Butler library, showing the engravings of Homer and Herodotus.
Taken on 35mm film.

Honestly, Columbia’s makeup inherently discourages a sense of community: Tucked away in Morningside Heights, the campus removes itself from the hustle and bustle of Midtown, Downtown, and even its neighboring Harlem community. Beyond physical barriers like gates, the Ivy League university maintains its competitive nature. I’ve had countless conversations with fellow classmates who complain of the competition to do well in class. In addition to NYC’s toxic “hustle culture”, Columbia students also experience the pressures of the classroom. This especially applies to students interested in the STEM field, where professors often limit the amount of “A” letter grades they give per section. This can lead to tense relationships between students and classmates, perpetuating an “every man for himself” mindset. Instead of cultivating a community of students that uplift each other, this culture can incite gatekeeping and standoffish attitudes. In my opinion, this is counterintuitive to the nature of a university. This is especially disappointing as Columbia boasts of its location at the intersection of thousands of different cultures and people. Columbia doesn’t always encourage a culture of community, but there is still opportunity for the student to engage with their surroundings! It would be a shame to close oneself off from all that the university has to offer socially, geographically, and intellectually. 

Though it may feel easy to shy away from the whirlwind of life that bustles outside of your dorm room, I argue that you have to intentionally form a safe space for yourself in college. The first few weeks of freshman year are incredibly formative. It’s such a beautiful time of life where most people have no expectations, no friends, and no curfew. Everyone is so open to meeting new people and trying new things. It’s important to lean into this social spirit that possesses everyone at the beginning of the year. The end goal isn’t to make lifelong friends, it’s simply helpful to have people to say “hi” to or invite out for adventures in the city. When you maintain a friendly and open mindset you’re fostering a more secure environment for yourself, and for the general community. Through this mindset, we can discard the idea that one must fail a class for another to pass it. While college is an inherently individualized experience, that doesn’t mean we have to face it alone. 

Forming circles of people with similar interests or characteristics are always a great place to start. Basic commonalities were instrumental in forming new friendships. For me, I was able to connect with other students who had just moved from California to New York. These friendships provided an outlet for me to express my homesickness to someone who understood what I was going through. At the same time, I was also learning more about new people and cultures. Most importantly, we were able to support each other during one of the biggest transitions of our lives through the things we had in common. 

A group photo of some of the friends I made freshman year.
Taken on 35mm film.

I can’t sit here and tell you to hunt down all of the people from your home state on the move-in day. What I’m suggesting is to start with what you know. Whether it be where you’re from, who you want to become, or how you got here, finding friends through basic commonalities is the kickstarter for maintaining sanity at college for the first time.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


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For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Confessions of a People-Pleaser: On Advocating for your Needs and Boundaries

Monday, June 10th, 2024

There is no such a thing as someone with no needs and no boundaries. I used to believe I had none or at least no right to my own boundaries because I was placed in a role of mostly serving others. Specifically, many women are raised to believe this about themselves. And yet, many western cultures have this expectation that women still need to be these boss women with unbreakable spirits. I couldn’t reconcile these expectations before the time came for me to participate in a college lecture or start my first internship. 

I knew I had to dig deep within myself to find out why I had found it so challenging not to sacrifice myself for the needs of other people. To believe that I didn’t deserve to be listened to, helped, or have my identity affirmed as friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson loves to say. This was clearly impacting the quality of relationships I had with potential friends, my coworkers, family, and supervisors. And it was only blinding me from the potential I had of fulfilling my dreams and of living the kind of life I desired in the end. 

I mostly talk about boundary-setting with family in the second chapter of my ebook; but I would like to expand this conversation to include friends. Family is more or less our first introduction to how relationships are formed and how people view us. Some of us may have more chaotic families than others and follow scripts that strip us all of our autonomy, but they nevertheless serve as a blueprint for our friendships and other relationships important to us. 

As the eldest daughter in my family with two younger brothers, I was raised to constantly look after others, listen to their troubles, be available for when others had urgent matters to be taken care of, and always be open to visiting and being visited by other extended family members, even when the relationship was clearly one-sided. I grew accustomed to turning to journals and talking to myself to keep me away from the true feelings dying inside of me. And to still feel alive after a busy day of being a machine.

I’ll provide an example of a time I should have set boundaries with a “friend” in college. One woman approached me as I was waiting to meet with my advisor in the hallway. She seemed like the kind of person who was over-eager to talk to any new person she could find. I was surprised that she had ended up in my English Critical Theory class. From that point on, she always sat next to me, always asked me questions when the professor was speaking, called my phone several times in a row after class hours, and even plagiarized parts of an essay of mine. What looked like flattery in the beginning started to look more and more like obsession and jealousy (and she admitted to being jealous too). I should have told her that I clearly didn’t see her as a friend like she did. I should have let her know that she was exhausting me. I needed space, but because of the scripts I was fed as a eldest daughter, I willfully gave myself away to energy vampires like her.

Never been the most comfortable in front of a camera.

This was the script I carried with me into my young adulthood. I second-guessed my intellect during college lectures, which stopped me from participating. I felt guilty from wanting to lean on someone when I felt down because my supposed friends’ problems seemed more important, and I felt ashamed for ever using my free time because it was time I could have used to do more work at home or at the office. We all play roles in every aspect of our lives, but we have to decide what roles are depriving us of our humanity. How can we all get what we need without sacrificing ourselves and/or other people? That is my ultimate question. 

It requires a lonely journey to arrive at the answer simply because we live in a world that encourages us to treat each other like slot machines and less like humans. We all have a responsibility to show up for those we care about and hold them accountable when our boundaries have been crossed. Communicate openly and honestly, respect each other’s right to personal space, and learn the art of self-reliance because that will surely come in handy. It first starts with acknowledging we need things from others and learning to fulfill those needs in a healthy way.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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