Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

The Mental Health Benefits of Being a Girl’s Girl

Thursday, March 20th, 2025

A few months ago, I wrote about how women perpetuating the patriarchy was taking a toll on me (as if it were new information). I was frustrated by the way I was being objectified by men and women alike, belittled and dumbed down into something along the lines of a rom-com side character scripted by Richard Curtis. I have lived long enough to know that when that happens, someone is simply projecting their own insecurities, but by god is it still so incredibly annoying. 

The truth is I don’t blame women, or men for that matter, for being insecure. The pressures we face today are unimaginable, and the standard of beauty and overall being is simply unattainable. If you’re not living off brand deals and traveling the world, are you really living? If you don’t have abs like Glen Powell, what kind of girl even wants you? And if you aren’t on the list of Forbes 30 Under 30, have you even found a purpose in life? It’s absurd what we compare ourselves to rather than appreciate all we’ve done. 

Societal pressure has left us all insecure at one moment or another, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. The point is how we handle that insecurity of ours. Maybe you’re insecure about your body type because the world has told you it doesn’t compare to Charlie’s Angels, but does it really make you feel better to comment “Jeez, put on some meat” under an influencer’s bikini pic? I may not blame anyone for feeling like they don’t measure up from time to time, but I will 100% blame women for putting other women down just to feel good about themselves.

According to Her Campus, “A recent social media phenomenon, the term ‘girl’s girl’ is used to describe women who support other women through every aspect of their lives, and not just the women directly in their lives either.” To be a girl’s girl takes active work. It involves dismantling the competitiveness and insecurities society has propelled onto us, which can be incredibly difficult when it comes to things we’ve been taught all our lives. 

My mom: the ultimate girl’s girl

If you’ve been so fortunate as to have primarily healthy female friendships all your life, you may think to yourself, “Well, I know a lot of girl’s girls, and I thought most girls were girl’s girls, so just how many aren’t?” You’ll be interested to find that someone calls a woman a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ on X (formerly Twitter) almost 10,000 times per day, and half of those comments are from women, a 2016 Washington Post study stated. More interestingly, The Workplace Bullying Institute found women bully other women up to 80% of the time. And if it couldn’t get worse, a 2020 study by the United Nations found that about 90% of men AND women “hold some sort of bias against women, providing new clues to the invisible barriers women face in achieving equality, and a potential path forward to shattering the Glass Ceiling.” The truth is, the world needs a LOT more actual girl’s girls, not just performances.

It’s important for us as women to remember that being a girl’s girl extends far beyond just watching another girl’s drink at the bar. It’s in the way we speak to each other, the way we act with each other, and the way we stand up for one another. It’s in the way we stop ourselves from falling into sexist rhetoric, from using gender as an insult, from objectifying each other more than we applaud one another. Like the scene from Mean Girls, I’m sure we could all raise our hands and admit we’ve said things we regret about another girl. You’d think, though, that once we reach Ms. Norbury’s age at the latest, all the weird ‘girl-on-girl crime’ would just… fizzle out? 

In our 20s, it seems to just take on more forms. A random back-handed compliment from a friend here, an insulting up-and-down glance from a stranger there, A humiliation fetish disguised as a joke everywhere! Not to mention, it’s SO second-hand embarrassing for me and for everyone I tell afterward (Yes, I will absolutely gossip about the hurtful thing you said to me. It’s my way of coping). You should see the grimaces and furrowed brows that glide over everyone’s faces, the cringes and widened eyes that follow suit, and the “Um wtf!” texts that fly in like clockwork. If non-girl’s girls knew they came off this way, would they change their ways, like Regina George? Or would they still play victim, siding with misogynists, calling women hormonal b-words? I’d like to think they can still be saved.

Tally: another ultimate girl’s girl

If we support one another, uplift one another, and stand up for one another, it won’t only make us better people, but actually make us feel better, too. A study from the National Institute of Health states, “Friendships among women can provide critical social resources and promote overall wellness, feelings of self-worth, and empowerment. Findings from studies that examine these relationships among women indicate that the quality of friendship support is more important than the mere number. Supportive friendships, which are characterized by intimacy, nurturance, loyalty, and prosocial behaviors, are associated with heightened psychological and physical well-being.” 

Being a supportive girl’s girl is so important, especially in a world that has always been and still is against women. Uplifting other women creates a sense of community, which means we’ll have more people to hear us out and learn from in times of need. Hyping up our friends and strangers also shifts our mindset away from toxic comparison, because life is hard enough without mentally competing in a game no one actually wins. Plus, acts of kindness release feel-good hormones, so we’re not just being nice—we’re chemically hacking our own brains into happiness. At the end of the day, why make enemies out of the very people who could be your biggest allies?

“I love my husband, but it is nothing like a conversation with a woman who understands you. I grow so much from those conversations.” – Beyonce

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Dodging Office Saboteurs: How to Stay Strong in a Challenging Work Environment

Monday, February 17th, 2025
Common Statistics of Workplace Bullying in America.

We like to think of bullying as something only kids go through when they’re learning about social hierarchies and how to approach people’s differences. Most of us are taught at a young age about the cycle of bullying and how to break the chain, however, as many as 45% of Americans say they have been bullied during adulthood. Often, adult bullies are more calculated than those we can recall from our childhood, as they tend to teeter the line between being domineering and unambiguously committing a form of harassment. This leaves workers questioning themselves, feeling uncomfortable, and struggling with their mental health.

According to the WBI U.S. Workplace Bullying Survey conducted in January 2021, “30% of Americans have experienced workplace bullying; another 19 percent have witnessed it; 49 percent are affected by it; and 66 percent are aware of its occurrence.”

It can be hard to tell just what constitutes workplace bullying, but a lot of the characteristics are the same as what we learned in grade school. The Workplace Bullying Institute defines bullying as “repeated, health-harming mistreatment of one or more persons (the targets) by one or more perpetrators that takes one or more of the following forms: verbal abuse, offensive conduct/behaviors (including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating, or intimidating; or work interference – sabotage – which prevents work from getting done.”

In a 2017 study, the Institute discovered that nearly 75% of workplace bullies are men, with 60 percent of that portion targeting women. Moreover, two-thirds of women workplace bullies (referred to as “mean girls”) target other working women.

When work issues get the best of me, I like to turn to my hobbies to bring me joy. Here’s a coconut lemon pie I made from scratch, which was sooooo delicious! Baking has become a very therapeutic pastime of mine.

 Aside from the more commonly known experiences like written or spoken personal insults, name-calling, or public shaming, workplace bullying also includes:

  • Intimidating or undermining employees by demeaning their work standards
  • Setting them up for failure and constantly reminding them of old mistakes
  • Threatening employees’ personal self-esteem and work status
  • Withholding Information that involves them
  • Making unreasonable demands, creating undue pressure and stress, and overworking employees
  • Giving constant and unfair criticism
  • Blaming without factual justification
  • Giving hostile glares and other intimidating gestures
  • Purposely excluding or isolating a coworker
  • Deliberately insulting others and taking part in behind-the-back putdowns
  • Monitoring another excessively
  • Ignoring personal boundaries

 A meta-analysis based on 140,000 participants showed an overwhelming amount of evidence that toxic work environments have an incredibly negative impact on mental health. This can even generate chronic stress and burnout, and it can lead to the worsening of any pre-existing mental health conditions, such as anxiety and depression. Chronic stress has been linked to issues such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system. After all, we spend about ⅓ of our lives working, so it’s no wonder how a negative work environment could impact us so tremendously. 

Another thing I do when the going gets tough is remind myself of how far I’ve come and where I’m headed. This is from December 2023 when I found out I was going to Emerson! Reminding myself of the small wins I’ve accomplished (like Emerson and being a part of Campus Clipper!) is a great way to stay positive and push through difficulties.

The most common tell-tale signs of toxic work environments that are often supplemented by frequent bullying include a lack of organization, high turnover rates, poor communication, gossip, a general absence of trust, micromanagement, and inappropriate work-life expectations. Often, we are unaware of just how toxic a work environment can be until we’re knee-deep in it, searching for a way out. Of course, many people are not in the privileged position to simply quit a job without having another one lined up immediately. What, then, do we do after we’ve found ourselves stuck? Surrounded by workplace bullies?

  1. Focus on the Positives, if Any 
    • Focusing our attention on the positive things about our work can help protect our mental health by shifting our mindset away from stress and frustration and toward moments of gratitude and personal growth. Finding small wins here and there can boost resilience, making it easier to maintain motivation and emotional balance, at least while you try to find a new job. 
  2. Keep Good Company
    • Having supportive colleagues can provide a sense of belonging, validation, and encouragement amid workplace stress. By building positive connections, we can also help counteract negativity, making it easier to navigate challenges and maintain our sanity.
  3. Leave Work at Work
    • Setting a boundary with yourself to leave work at work allows us to protect our personal time from stress and negativity that doesn’t belong there. Disconnecting helps us recharge, focus on self-care, and maintain a healthier work-life balance.
  4. Connect with HR
    • If your workplace has an HR, contacting them is incredibly important for your mental health and self-care because it ensures that acts of harassment and bullying are being documented and addressed, helping us create a safer and more respectful environment. Speaking up also reinforces the idea that we deserve to be treated with respect, and we won’t expect anything less. Most importantly, workplace laws protect employees from harassment and unfair treatment, and HR has a responsibility to uphold these standards to ensure a fair and lawful work environment. 
  5. Quit! 
    • Quitting a toxic job sometimes is the only way to protect our mental health. As we know, staying in a harmful environment can lead to overwhelming stress, anxiety, and burnout. It can cause us to lose self-esteem and feel like things won’t ever get better, and the consequences can be long-lasting, both mentally and physically. Prioritizing our well-being by leaving allows us to reclaim our peace, build confidence, and seek a healthier, more supportive workplace. Being upset every day you go to work is no way to be spending ⅓ of your life. Your future self will thank you.
Boston Students! Head to Cambridge Naturals and kickstart your health and wellness journey with 10% OFF using this coupon and your student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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The Digital Detox: Taking a break from technology or each other?

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2025

At one time or another, we’ve all seen a dramatic announcement on someone’s Instagram story. Their vague text post reads a little something like this:

Deleting Insta. If you need me and you’re important enough, you have my number. To the rest of you, good luck finding me.

While I enjoy a casual cup of tea, these updates from random acquaintances always fall a little flat. There’s a notion to send a “Hope you’re okay!” DM, but they’re supposedly deleting their account any second now. Then there’s the passive-aggressive ‘Good luck’ that’s a bit off-putting. I can only envision myself responding to something like this if a close friend posted it, to which I would reply, “Lol, delete this.” 

Another kind of ‘logging off’ post I’ve seen an uptick of since New Year’s is the foreshadowing announcement, which says, “You may have inside access to my amazing life now, but one day I’ll disappear, and you’ll be left to wonder!” I’ve provided some examples:

Digital Detox posts about leaving social media eventually.

Is it… poetry? Is it… a Divergent aptitude test? Is it a rhetorical speech prompting us, who are tied at the hips of social media moguls, to revert to nature and solitude like the transcendentalists of the 19th century?

Even if we are leaving, we want people to hear our footsteps and notice our absence. It is human nature to want to be seen, to be known, and to want others to care; these desires are the origins of these posts. Even though it’s easy to see through the attention-seeking nature of it all, an interesting conversation is raised about the broader topic of digital detoxes and their effectiveness, or lack thereof.

A digital detox is ​​an active choice to disengage from social media, or even all media-related electronics, for a specific time. The forms of limitations depend on the person. Many people just delete social media off their phones and log back in at the end of the day, week, or month. Other people go as far as not using their laptop outside of work and choosing to read instead of watch TV.

In our chronically digital age, how far does a digital detox really go? And is it more performative than anything? One has to wonder if you couldn’t announce it to the world, and if no one even noticed your absence, would so many people really be preaching about temporarily deleting social media? 

Social media posts about digital detoxes.

People go on digital detoxes for various reasons, including to protect their mental health, be more active, live in the moment, and be more grateful. As more users struggle with social media addictions, taking a break from the apps can also help them regain control over their time. While I see the benefits of a digital detox, I feel that the true problem is something deeper. 

Perhaps what people need the biggest break from is the facade-filled algorithm, and there are two ends to this dilemma. Suppose you’re constantly seeing videos and pictures of people with their Mercedes, MiuMiu bags, marble kitchens, model boyfriends, and more. In that case, you’ll likely start to think everyone else has hit the jackpot in life, and you’ve been left in the dust. This, of course, can cloud your perception of reality, hurting your mental well-being.

I think Whitney from Momtok really sums up the whole deal.

The bold and the beautiful swarming your feed can do damage, but I’d argue what’s worse is the number of ordinary people closer to home who are constantly faking their realities on the internet, too. Truly, how many times do we have to see a millennial post their scrub partner and/or their feral children when we know, behind half-cracked doors, they’re having affairs and are on the brink–God willing–of a divorce that their friends would be most pleased about? I’m all for showing off your new set of acrylics or your latest winter read, but showing off a life you’re not even actually happy with? Unnecessary, and a bit sad. 

Whenever I see someone announce their digital detox, it is usually because someone else online has bothered them, and they want everyone else to know it. They are calling attention to the fact that we’re not our true selves when we’re behind a screen, and sometimes, we’re way worse. Though they may be annoying, they’re not totally wrong. We’re performing for each other, and it’s not the far-away influencers that get to us in the end, but the people we know personally who got the ‘social’ part all wrong. We should know by now not to share everything, but not to masquerade either. 

It’s time we start navigating social media with more authenticity and more autonomy (and possibly fewer pictures of babies? Thanks). Next time you’re feeling like taking a digital detox, don’t announce it, but do ask yourself: Is it too much MiuMiu, too many daddies hiding behind alcohol dependencies, or both? 

Take a break from your phone and treat yourself to a tech-free spa day at Best MG Spa in Allston! Students get 20% off with this coupon and student ID.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Let’s Talk About Boundaries, Baby!

Monday, January 13th, 2025

Welcome to a year focused on self-care and wellness, because we need it!

While many, many news articles in the last 10 days have put the tightest knots in my stomach, I’d prefer to focus on things more in my control. An overlooked benefit of living in 2025 is our transparency with personal boundaries and how to use them. So long to the days of people-pleasing to the point of exhaustion; say farewell to conversations about overstimulation being taboo; and, lastly, good riddance to making ourselves uncomfortable for the sake of perception alone.

Over break, I spent some time lounging at hotel pools, which is one of my favorite self-care activities!

Boundaries can look like many things, but for the most part, they are simply the lines we draw for ourselves in terms of our level of comfort around others. They can involve physical contact, verbal interactions, personal space, emotions, romance, time, individual belongings, and even the workplace. Here are some quick examples:

  • Not wanting a friend, family member, or coworker to speak down to you is a verbal boundary.
  • Not feeling comfortable when others show up at your house without warning is a personal space boundary. 
  • Protecting your ability to do your work without interference or drama, especially that which extends outside the workplace, is a work-life boundary. 

There are all kinds of boundaries, and the best part is that all of them are valid!

I’ll be the first to say that, for the majority of my life, I was undoubtedly an extreme people-pleaser, and this made it very hard for me to set boundaries. I didn’t know how to handle confrontation, and I didn’t like taking risks. What if I tried to set a boundary, and I lost my friend in the process? I had a few lines that couldn’t be crossed, of course, but for the most part, I often held my tongue, fuming in my discomfort, to maintain some variation of peace and order. This was not a win-win situation, as at the end of the day I had gone against my desires, and I’d built up a resentment towards those I’d done so for. 

As an introvert, I need a lot of time to decompress. After work and class, I tend not to take phone calls or FaceTime unless there’s an emergency to protect my alone time.

It wasn’t until I left Florida and started working full-time (How I miss the days of living off scholarship money) that I realized how important boundaries are. With most of the sunlit day spent at the hands of the dollar, every ounce of free time I now have is something I cherish to the utmost degree. I have less time to spend at this point in my life, so I want to spend it on the right things. if I let people waste that time, I’ll feel more burnt out and irritated than ever.

The fact of the matter is, as you get older, you learn that the approval of others just can’t come at your sacrifice.  Now at 25, I don’t waste my energy trying to prove myself to people who don’t see my worth— and let’s face it, as a woman, I’m just all too tired of that anyway. With all of the trials and tribulations of being a full-on adult, you get to a point in time where a question starts to loom over your head: How much crap are you willing to take, and who from?

While I’d like to tell you the answer is “NONE AND FROM NO ONE,” that’s simply not the world we live in. However, if you start to feel exhausted, angry, or upset consistently because of a certain person or situation, it may be time to set some boundaries.

Another self-care activity I enjoy is cooking. Here, I made fried rice with veggies and tofu!

Setting boundaries has become a more open and honest topic today, but the conversation can still be hard depending on who you’re talking to. Feeling awkward and even guilty is normal, and you can factor in the possibility that the other party will be defensive, too. Nevertheless, it’s important to stand your ground and let it be known that you and your time are valuable! Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-care. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind as you start the new year looking out for you:

1. Know Your Limits

Before setting boundaries, you should take some time to reflect on when you do and don’t feel your best. What drains your energy? What makes you feel respected? Recognizing these limits can help you define clear boundaries before telling them to someone else.

2. Communicate Clearly and Assertively

Be direct and honest when communicating your needs. For example, in work, say, “I’m unable to take on extra tasks this week.” Point-blank. Also, in social or romantic relationships, don’t feel afraid to express what you need to feel comfortable. Any friend or partner will be able to understand that you’re coming from a good place. That conversation could start with something like “I love our time together, but after work, I need space to recharge by myself.”

3. Be Consistent

Enforce your boundaries consistently. If you let them slide occasionally, it can confuse others and undermine your efforts. Gently remind people when a boundary is crossed. While everyone is human and makes mistakes, if someone constantly disobeys your boundaries, it may be a sign that they don’t take you seriously and that your relationship is not mutually beneficial. 

4. Learn to Say No

It’s okay to say no without feeling guilty! Practice it in small, low-stakes situations to build confidence. Saying no is an act of self-respect, not selfishness, despite those who may say otherwise.

5. Respect Others’ Boundaries

Respect the boundaries of others, too. One of the best ways to get comfortable with our boundary-setting is to have the ability to recognize when others are setting boundaries. If we can be mindful of those around us, then we can expect them to do the same.

Spend some me-time and get 20% off at Gloria’s Beauty Center in Allston with your student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Same Fears, Different Outlook

Saturday, November 16th, 2024

I’m in my first semester of Senior year now, and listen— I’m still afraid of the dining hall. Kind of. It’s big, busy, and bright. It’s a space that still feels uncomfortable for me to enter some days. During my first three years of college, when I relied on the dining hall for meals because I lived on-campus, it was sort of like exposure therapy going in and out of that place at least twice a day. Now it takes more of an effort. The dining hall is unfamiliar again. But I push through that, and I go in anyway because I know I can. Because it’s not actually that bad once I get in there and sit down. 

A few months into this semester, I’ve managed to find a rhythm. Every Monday I meet some friends for coffee, Wednesday we get dinner, Thursday we hang out after class. I try to make time for work, for the gym, for my school work, for my creative endeavors, and for my friends. All with the help of Google Calendar, of course. Every semester is a bit different. I meet new groups of people, and I experience new things. When I first started college I was 18, and now I can go out to bars on the weekends with those same friends I had back then. Things have changed, and so have I. I spend my time with people I’m comfortable around, and people who make me feel heard. Gone are the days where I forced myself to be around people who don’t respect me or my boundaries, the days where I overextended my social battery and pushed myself past the limit of what I was able to do. 

my favorite area to walk around in the morning before class, Beacon Hill. There’s a new cat cafe that just opened up!

What I’ve learned (and am still learning) in my time at school is the importance of communication—clear, concise communication. Specifically, drawing lines when needed. It can be especially difficult, because even when there’s plenty of “how-to-set-boundaries” guides online and in books, ultimately it depends on every person involved. I mean, everyone thinks differently, right? But being able to effectively communicate your boundaries is an essential part of friendship, and it’s something I’m still learning to do. Saying “yes” even when you’re scared can be so important, but sometimes saying ‘yes’ to everything can cause issues. The importance of “no” is just as crucial in friendships. Knowing yourself, your boundaries, your energy and comfort levels—staying aware of what you need will no-doubt help your relationships with other people— can be what makes the difference in a meaningful relationship. Real friends won’t expect you to bend backwards at their every beck and call. Saying “yes” to everything is just as problematic as the opposite—something else I learned in my first years at college. There’s a certain balance that’s different for everyone, but by staying in tune with your body and mind, you’ll be able to figure out what works for you. 

Human connections are the most important aspect of life. Even the most antisocial of us are social creatures. Our experiences, how we behave, and how we perceive the world are impacted by who we spend our time around. I’m trying to find the people I’ll spend the rest of it with, the people who make me feel like ‘me.’ I’m heading off into the so-called “real world” in just a few short months. I hear those first few months after college are going to be the “worst of my life,” which of course leaves me trembling in fear. But here’s the thing: sure people say it will be that, but I don’t think it has to be. There’s no point in my life I have to be at right now, or even next June or July—there’s no clear-cut blueprint for the point I’m supposed to be in my life by then. Or ever, really. I might feel lost, I mean, I feel lost now, months before I walk the stage at commencement. But taking a step back, I have to remind myself of what really matters. Life is about the relationships I form in my life, and the people I spend my time around. I think that’s true, at least. I’m only 22, I may need a few more years to figure out the meaning of life. But now I know that I’m capable of overcoming my fears, even if it takes a while. My outlook has changed and is still changing.


Enjoy 20% off at KongDog in Somerville with this coupon and a student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Off-Campus and Out-of-Touch

Monday, November 4th, 2024

To be honest, I’m tired of always being in a transition phase. I’ve been moving from place-to-place, never fully settling down, since starting college. I think it’s something I’ll miss in the future when I feel stagnant, but these last few years I’ve been between school and home and back to school again. It’s gotten pretty exhausting. It’s a different room every year, with different roommates, working a different job depending on where I am. It often feels like as soon as I get a sense of routine, something has to throw it out-of-wack. This year is no different— yet again, I find myself in a different place, trying to figure it all out. 

I just recently moved into an apartment, and I’ve been commuting to school for the first time. I’d never firsthand dealt with the technicalities behind apartment renting, so that was a huge learning curve itself, as was figuring out the wifi (and whatever the heck a modem is), gas, electricity, etc. 

 It’s been a huge adjustment commuting to school, since I have to account for different train times and slow areas on the tracks. Even weeks into the semester, I wind up cutting it a bit closer than I intend to when on my way to class. I’m used to being so close to campus I’m practically able to get to class from my bed in minutes. It’s taking time management skills, which I’m still building up. 

I feel like I’m really learning what it means to be “on my own.” Everything is changing, and I’m about to face the most daunting transition phase of my whole life next Spring—graduating college. 

Local cat tests out the climb-ability of our new apartment

But for right now, I’m trying to enjoy it. If I think too much about what happens afterward, I won’t be able to stand it. “Where will I live?” “Who will I live with?” “Where will I be working?” They’re all questions on the forefront of my mind, and other peoples’ too—just this last weekend I went home for my birthday and got asked all sorts of questions about my plans post-graduation. But I’ve come to realize I can take things a bit more slowly, going step-by-step. I can enjoy my last year of college and spend time with the people I love, while keeping my future in the back of my mind.

There’s this book my coworker recommended to me called ‘The Art of Now” by Eckhard Tolle. In the book he talks a lot about living in the moment and “letting the universe work for you.” I’ve never given “the universe” much thought, but there’s a lot of really uplifting sentiments that I got from reading the book—and I’m not usually a huge nonfiction fan. It inspired me to make an active effort to stay in the moment, and to stay centered in the present even while applying for internships and jobs in the future. Making sure I see the people I care about, I let my creativity out, and I spend my time mentally relaxing and doing things I enjoy— all while maintaining my grades and doing all my work on-time. It’s definitely no easy feat, but most worthwhile things aren’t easy. I’m trying, at the very least.

Living off-campus definitely makes things feel a bit more distant. Everything and everyone used to feel so close. I’ve noticed it’s taking more effort to stay in touch with friends; it feels like everything’s  a bit out of my reach. Still, part of “staying in the moment” to me is staying in contact with people who help me enjoy the moment, like my friends, my girlfriend—the relationships that matter to me. 

Things seem to be going by so fast and I’m trying not to forget to enjoy it—even if there’s a lot of new, stressful aspects of my life, and even if I’m not completely sure where I’ll be this time next year. All I can do is be the best “me” now, so I can be the best “me” a year from now, for myself and everyone around me. 


Get 10% off at Cambridge Naturals with this coupon and a student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Abroad, Inside, and Out

Friday, October 25th, 2024

Ever since I started at college, I’d had my heart set on this one study abroad program offered. Basically, Emerson owns a castle in Limburg, the Netherlands, where students live and study for a semester. It’s just as strange and simultaneously magical as you’d imagine. 

So naturally I applied my Sophomore year for the Spring semester my Junior year. It was far enough ahead that I told myself I could worry about it when it got closer to the time—it was a whole year away, after all! I had plenty of time to figure it out.

But when I got the list of people attending, I read through it and didn’t know a single name, which filled me with utter, unbridled dread. I’d be doing a semester with strangers– completely starting over and far from any familiarity I had with school back in Boston. The fall before I left I started thinking about dropping out. The thought of boarding a plane with a bunch of strangers sent this paralyzing fear through me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to deal with it all. But I was also thinking I’d never be able to do this again in my life. It was a one-time opportunity.

So I decided to go through with it, because I knew I’d be pissed at myself if I didn’t. How could I let my anxiety win over me like that, and steal away yet another opportunity presented to me? 

The view from my room in Well, the Netherlands

The first week abroad was just like orientation Freshman year—everyone rushing to make friends. A lot of people knew each other already too, and had established dynamics—both good and bad ones. It’s a small liberal arts college, you can imagine how it is.

 I decided this time I’d hang back a bit. I’d take it a bit slower, even if that meant I wasn’t as “successful” as I wanted to be in making friends. 

I realized while over there that I needed to stop thinking about other people and focus on myself. So that’s what I did. Those first few weeks I was in the library by myself until 2 or 3 in the morning every day. I sat there until the night watch came through and asked me to turn off the lights when I was done. For some reason, those are the memories that stick with me after coming home. 

 I decided in that first week that if I had one friend who I could eat some meals with and go on some trips with, that was enough. And I had made one, someone I sat next to on the plane. As time went on, I naturally found more people. It’s easier to find friends who suit you when you aren’t desperately seeking them out, bending over backwards to try and make them like you. It’s better to take things at your own pace.

From my trip to Amsterdam

In short, these three months abroad were the most fun of my life. Equally as stressful, too, but I’d go back and do it again in a heartbeat. The way you learn about yourself in unfamiliar situations and locations is something that you just have to experience (even if it’s not studying abroad, just going elsewhere and seeing other ways of living—it’s so important). Even if moving around and changing scenes feels overwhelming at times, pushing through that initial fear can be the most rewarding thing in the world. You just have to be wary of your limits and listen to yourself, your body, and your brain. That’s also something I learned while I was abroad. To know when to back out. When my spoons get too full. When to be brave and say “I quit, this is too much for me right now.” It’s a fine line that I’m learning to walk.


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By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Am I the main character?

Monday, October 21st, 2024

I have always been waiting for my happy ending. Yet, it is just that: an ending. I am twenty years old, quietly anticipating the montage at the end of the movie: the one where the best friends hug, the lovers kiss, or the main character finally sees the world. But, what about the before? The inbetween? 

When I lived in LA, I could not stop thinking about Boston. From sixteen to nineteen, I felt pulled to the city. I dreamed of shedding my past, losing who I once was, and stepping fully into my authentic self. I felt deep in my bones that Boston was the catalyst. There was a story written for me here, and I had to go read it.

Now that I am here, though, I am presented with one big, fat in-my-face problem. I am scared of change. I like to think I am a mature enough person who doesn’t get freaked out by a six-letter word. In truth, however, I find myself struggling in its grasp, unsure of how to proceed. 

How do I be my most authentic self when I am so scared of change? The simplest yet most complicated answer is habits. Our habits dictate who we are. Once we learn a habit, it is hard to forget it. To become our most authentic selves—whoever we decide that is—we must shed not only the fear of change but our habits too.

I love seeing the leaves change!

In the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, there are four laws of behavior change to create better habits and to break an unwanted habit (it is important to not categorize anything as bad or good, as it hinders the ability to reinforce or get rid of the habit). 

To create a better habit, Clear writers that we have to: “(1) make (the cue) obvious, (2) make (the craving) attractive, (3) make (the response) easy, and (4) make (the reward) satisfying,” (55). When I was reading Atomic Habits, I placed the book on top of my bed every morning (making the cue obvious). Next, I held onto why I desired to read the book, which made the craving attractive. Thirdly, I set a goal of reading one chapter before bed each night; this was about ten pages. Lastly, I rewarded myself by reading a cheesy romance novel or doing a different, more relaxing activity afterward. 

On the other hand, to break an unwanted habit, Clear states that we have to “make (the cue)  invisible,” the craving unattractive, the response difficult, and the reward unsatisfying (54). When I want to study, I put my phone in one of my desk drawers (making the cue invisible). I also make sure it is on Do Not Disturb with the ringer off. Then, I make the craving unattractive by making my work environment more attractive: music on my computer, hot tea, comfy clothes, and good snacks. Thirdly, I make the response even more difficult; (placing it in a desk drawer makes the cue invisible and the response difficult). I add screen time locks to apps, and if I really want to pay attention to something, I may delete an app altogether. To make the reward unsatisfying, I remind myself of all the other things I would rather do than scroll on my phone, or how scrolling on my phone has wasted my time in the past causing me to fall behind on assignments. 

By using this formula we can break the habit loop (cue, craving, response, reward). Habit loop: we receive a cue from a specific time, location, smell, or other trigger, and receive a craving to complete an action based on that cue. We respond and we receive a reward (like dopamine). 

How does this relate to overcoming a fear of change? 

Sometimes we change without knowing it. We naturally grow as we get older with little conscious effort. However, we can also take a more practical approach to get past our fear and show up authentically. Changing our habits allows us to incrementally become the person we want to be. 

The first step is becoming aware of our habits. The next step is to implement intentions to change the habit (I will do x when the y situation arises). Then, we can start to break the unwanted habit or implement a desired habit using the formula above. However, according to James Clear, “the most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become,” (41). 

The Esplanade!

The Power of Visualization: 

One of my most recommended books is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book dives into the neuroscience of visualization and how we can use it to break free from our past selves, including our fear.  

One of the methods Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about is imagining ourselves completing the actions we want to take or wish we would have taken. For example, there have been situations in my life where I wish I stood up for myself, but I didn’t. The memories made me feel disempowered like I would never be able to stand up for myself in the future. So, I meditated on one of those memories. I remembered the feelings, environment, and scenario. Then, instead of letting the memory play out as it usually does, I visualized how I wish I would have responded: standing up for myself respectfully yet assertively. The memory has had less of a grip on me since, and I feel more empowered to stand up for myself in real life. 

When visualizing or meditating, we can often get intrusive thoughts. The key is to not engage with them. I like to think of myself standing in a room. Each thought is a bubble that passes through the room. My job, however, is to not touch the bubbles as they pass by me. In other words, we will always have thoughts in our head, but we do not need to engage with each of them, or any of them, especially when meditating. 

It is important to have balance, to not get caught up in visualizing what we want to be and what we wish we did. A good way to ground ourselves in reality is to set a time limit. Whether this is an hour-long meditation, or simply while washing the dishes or showering—remind yourself to be in the moment.

Between all of these practical approaches, we also need to accept and acknowledge our fear of change and feel it. We are unable to take any steps forward if we do not feel our emotions whenever they may arise. As mentioned, balance is key. We need to make sure we do not obsess over our perceived failures. Sometimes, saying out loud “I made a mistake and I am not happy about it,” taking a deep breath and choosing not to engage in those loud thoughts can really allow you to move forward unimpeded by feeling overwhelmed. 

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Day by day, I am working on becoming my most authentic self. I change my actions, I take on new experiences, and I learn with compassion. Each day, my understanding of myself, my wants, my desires, my dreams, and of course, my dislikes, grows. Each day, I step into that main-character energy and bask in all that life has to offer. 


Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Connecting and Disconnecting

Thursday, October 17th, 2024

I’m the king of FOMO, so I’ve been told. I say yes to practically everything, and I do what I think people want me to do. I’ve been trying to work on being realistic about how well my social battery is doing and how I’ll feel after a long night out; my battery drains pretty quickly, after all. My girlfriend always uses this analogy called “spoon theory.” How many spoons are you able to fill with the feelings and thoughts of other people before you overflow? You can only hold so much at the same time, after all. 

Whether it’s for your social life, school, or your job, you’re expected to be on-call almost constantly. You’re expected to be accessible to the outside world, even in the safety of your home. That’s the downside to modernity. Well, one of them. Not to get deep here. I think about it a lot, though. How different these times are to any other time on Earth. In my bed I get email notifications on my phone, group chat messages on five different apps, and reminders and notifications clouding up my lockscreen. It can be overwhelming being expected to answer to so many people all the time. 

Being exposed to so many people’s lives and thoughts at the same time can be overwhelming. I mean think about it—we humans know so many people nowadays, and are able to keep up with the people we’ve known throughout our whole lives with the tap of a finger. People I haven’t spoken to in years, or ever, still like my instagram posts. I always think, “Is it meant to be like this? Is this good?” I guess there’s no point in asking this question, since it’s just how things are.

Time off my phone and social media helps me stay sane. But on the other side, being able to connect with people is a part of life that’s so utterly essential. My phone undeniably makes that easier. It’s easier for me to keep up with my friends who’ve moved away, my parents after I moved out, and my girlfriend when I studied abroad. Every so often I call my friends who are living in LA to catch up. Being able to keep that relationship despite how many miles are between us is something that’s new to modern times, and is wonderful. 

A picture I took on a solo stroll down Commonwealth Ave in Boston

There’s pressure to constantly socialize in college especially. In that first year, there were times where I wouldn’t leave a friend’s room all day, and to be totally honest it’s because I thought that I had to do that. I started feeling drained, like I was losing who I really was to who I was around other people. Constantly putting on a performance without any time to rest, I felt pressure to attend everything I was invited to, even if it felt like a huge hurdle to overcome. There’s this fear of falling behind socially that happens no matter what kind of relationship it is. You don’t want to miss out on important parts of your life, after all. That’s how I felt. I’d never again be right down the hall from my best friends, so I had to make the most of it.

Simply put, that was stupid. I was exhausted and lost myself that year. So here’s my advice to you: deal with the FOMO! It won’t kill you. Lately I’ve been telling myself that. I’ve been skipping parties I don’t feel mentally ready to go to, taking time to walk around the city, and enjoying life all by myself just because I can. A little walk to get a coffee can make or break a day.

Even when I desperately want to attend something because I think it might be fun, I have to be realistic about my expectations. Will I really enjoy it? Are my spoons overflowing? 

I’ve been trying to focus on what makes me happy and keeping my priorities straight, because I’ve realized that that is what helps me maintain my relationships. If other people know my limits and are okay with them—well, that’s important in a friend, isn’t it?


Drop by Blick to get a student discount on art materials!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Why Letting Go is Essential

Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

There is something to be said about nostalgia. It’s a quiet perfume. Soft and sweet. Then, all of a sudden, stale and putrid. 

Every week, I sit in the common room with friends. I hear their laughter, teasing jokes, and lively discussions. When I look at them, ghosts pop out at me. Are they genuine, or like those I have been hurt by? I count their differences. I count their similarities. I take note. I crease the page of this memory, reminding myself to return to it later. I analyze it with a new lens, a new focus. Instead of being present, I am half stuck in the past, looking to confirm my fears, looking for that familiarity that I understand. 

Whether nostalgia or something stronger, the grasp the past holds on me leaves me constantly unfulfilled. I have always felt life was meant to be so much more than how it has been. That life is meant to be filled with adventures and sickeningly soft moments; if I am to do this thing called life, then why should it be just mediocre? 

Being stuck in the past prevents us from enjoying present experiences and having a fulfilled happy life. So how do we be more present? 

Everyone always asks me why I like rainy days. And I think: why should I enjoy a day any less just because it is raining? If anything it is an excuse to enjoy the small things in life (puddles and coffee!) all the more.

Step One: Let Go

When we consistently look towards the past and are reminded of it in negative ways that detract from our present experiences, we must first acknowledge and accept where we are. Often, I feel so much time has passed that I cannot truly still be affected by those things. But, ignoring the fact that I am indeed still affected by those things only hinders my healing. 

In this past year, I have tried to release my grip on the past. It has been hard. My therapist made me sit with myself and ask myself questions. She sat there in silent encouragement while I looked inward. I asked myself: why am I resistant to letting these memories go? I waited and eventually, I learned that to me, letting go of the experiences was almost like I was losing those people again and again. I queried further and with each response, I felt understanding. I granted myself self-compassion and  I was able to remove some of my resistance to moving forward. 

I then took the conscious steps forward to let go; this heavily focused on emotional release. When the past knocked on my door, I did not turn it away, nor did I openly embrace it, letting it consume me. Instead, I stared at it straight in the face, without judgment, and grieved. This emotional release alleviated much of the past’s control. 

In a similar fashion, when triggered, bringing up much more complex emotions regarding the past, I had to make space for my emotional release: to journal, to cry, to grieve, to be angry, and to surrender to the emotional wave, but to not to let it consume me. One way is through grounding techniques: breath work, tensing and releasing each muscle individually, planting feet on the floor, or spending some time alone in nature or with someone or something I love. After the wave crashes, I look towards my values, needs, and wants, so I may consciously make a decision that reflects myself and not my past and fears. 

Graphics from the T

Step Two: Be Present 

Life can be consistently overwhelming. There are to-do lists, pressures to be extraordinary, a desire to be perfect, and of course the dread of time. These things will likely always be there. So, to be present and enjoy life, the key is appreciating life for what it is. 

In her book, “Everything Beautiful,” Ella Frances Sanders writes: “There is almost always reassurance and meaning to be found in the smallest of things, in the smallest of beauties.” Sanders describes how appreciating the smallest things in life can bring comfort, and quiet serenity in the most overwhelming of moments. 

The squirrels always make my day!

After reading this book I set myself a challenge. Every day I would find at least one thing to find beauty in. I specifically mean the beauty of life and humanity. Sometimes this is the squirrels kneading the grass with their small paws, or an elderly couple walking through the park, or just the consistent sound of city-goers experiencing their lives in such a tight space that we are at once together and apart. 

Appreciating beauty in all its forms allows me to surrender to the present moment and find fulfillment even in the smallest things, and even during overwhelming times. This practice softens the creases in my heart and eases my worries about the future. Because even if everything is uncertain, there is always this: the beauty of life. 

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Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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