Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Abroad, Inside, and Out

Friday, October 25th, 2024

Ever since I started at college, I’d had my heart set on this one study abroad program offered. Basically, Emerson owns a castle in Limburg, the Netherlands, where students live and study for a semester. It’s just as strange and simultaneously magical as you’d imagine. 

So naturally I applied my Sophomore year for the Spring semester my Junior year. It was far enough ahead that I told myself I could worry about it when it got closer to the time—it was a whole year away, after all! I had plenty of time to figure it out.

But when I got the list of people attending, I read through it and didn’t know a single name, which filled me with utter, unbridled dread. I’d be doing a semester with strangers– completely starting over and far from any familiarity I had with school back in Boston. The fall before I left I started thinking about dropping out. The thought of boarding a plane with a bunch of strangers sent this paralyzing fear through me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to deal with it all. But I was also thinking I’d never be able to do this again in my life. It was a one-time opportunity.

So I decided to go through with it, because I knew I’d be pissed at myself if I didn’t. How could I let my anxiety win over me like that, and steal away yet another opportunity presented to me? 

The view from my room in Well, the Netherlands

The first week abroad was just like orientation Freshman year—everyone rushing to make friends. A lot of people knew each other already too, and had established dynamics—both good and bad ones. It’s a small liberal arts college, you can imagine how it is.

 I decided this time I’d hang back a bit. I’d take it a bit slower, even if that meant I wasn’t as “successful” as I wanted to be in making friends. 

I realized while over there that I needed to stop thinking about other people and focus on myself. So that’s what I did. Those first few weeks I was in the library by myself until 2 or 3 in the morning every day. I sat there until the night watch came through and asked me to turn off the lights when I was done. For some reason, those are the memories that stick with me after coming home. 

 I decided in that first week that if I had one friend who I could eat some meals with and go on some trips with, that was enough. And I had made one, someone I sat next to on the plane. As time went on, I naturally found more people. It’s easier to find friends who suit you when you aren’t desperately seeking them out, bending over backwards to try and make them like you. It’s better to take things at your own pace.

From my trip to Amsterdam

In short, these three months abroad were the most fun of my life. Equally as stressful, too, but I’d go back and do it again in a heartbeat. The way you learn about yourself in unfamiliar situations and locations is something that you just have to experience (even if it’s not studying abroad, just going elsewhere and seeing other ways of living—it’s so important). Even if moving around and changing scenes feels overwhelming at times, pushing through that initial fear can be the most rewarding thing in the world. You just have to be wary of your limits and listen to yourself, your body, and your brain. That’s also something I learned while I was abroad. To know when to back out. When my spoons get too full. When to be brave and say “I quit, this is too much for me right now.” It’s a fine line that I’m learning to walk.


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By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Connecting and Disconnecting

Thursday, October 17th, 2024

I’m the king of FOMO, so I’ve been told. I say yes to practically everything, and I do what I think people want me to do. I’ve been trying to work on being realistic about how well my social battery is doing and how I’ll feel after a long night out; my battery drains pretty quickly, after all. My girlfriend always uses this analogy called “spoon theory.” How many spoons are you able to fill with the feelings and thoughts of other people before you overflow? You can only hold so much at the same time, after all. 

Whether it’s for your social life, school, or your job, you’re expected to be on-call almost constantly. You’re expected to be accessible to the outside world, even in the safety of your home. That’s the downside to modernity. Well, one of them. Not to get deep here. I think about it a lot, though. How different these times are to any other time on Earth. In my bed I get email notifications on my phone, group chat messages on five different apps, and reminders and notifications clouding up my lockscreen. It can be overwhelming being expected to answer to so many people all the time. 

Being exposed to so many people’s lives and thoughts at the same time can be overwhelming. I mean think about it—we humans know so many people nowadays, and are able to keep up with the people we’ve known throughout our whole lives with the tap of a finger. People I haven’t spoken to in years, or ever, still like my instagram posts. I always think, “Is it meant to be like this? Is this good?” I guess there’s no point in asking this question, since it’s just how things are.

Time off my phone and social media helps me stay sane. But on the other side, being able to connect with people is a part of life that’s so utterly essential. My phone undeniably makes that easier. It’s easier for me to keep up with my friends who’ve moved away, my parents after I moved out, and my girlfriend when I studied abroad. Every so often I call my friends who are living in LA to catch up. Being able to keep that relationship despite how many miles are between us is something that’s new to modern times, and is wonderful. 

A picture I took on a solo stroll down Commonwealth Ave in Boston

There’s pressure to constantly socialize in college especially. In that first year, there were times where I wouldn’t leave a friend’s room all day, and to be totally honest it’s because I thought that I had to do that. I started feeling drained, like I was losing who I really was to who I was around other people. Constantly putting on a performance without any time to rest, I felt pressure to attend everything I was invited to, even if it felt like a huge hurdle to overcome. There’s this fear of falling behind socially that happens no matter what kind of relationship it is. You don’t want to miss out on important parts of your life, after all. That’s how I felt. I’d never again be right down the hall from my best friends, so I had to make the most of it.

Simply put, that was stupid. I was exhausted and lost myself that year. So here’s my advice to you: deal with the FOMO! It won’t kill you. Lately I’ve been telling myself that. I’ve been skipping parties I don’t feel mentally ready to go to, taking time to walk around the city, and enjoying life all by myself just because I can. A little walk to get a coffee can make or break a day.

Even when I desperately want to attend something because I think it might be fun, I have to be realistic about my expectations. Will I really enjoy it? Are my spoons overflowing? 

I’ve been trying to focus on what makes me happy and keeping my priorities straight, because I’ve realized that that is what helps me maintain my relationships. If other people know my limits and are okay with them—well, that’s important in a friend, isn’t it?


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By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Dear No One: Letters That Stay Unsent

Monday, October 7th, 2024

I’ve written a fair share of letters in my day. It’s the romantic in me who feels written words, those that are so exquisitely accurate in their portrayal of love and loss, are the pinnacle of my existence. If I love someone, I have to write to them; it’s instinctive. This doesn’t mean, however, that I send all or even the majority of the letters I write. That is the coward in me, too afraid people will hold me to the words I write at a specific moment in time, too embarrassed to have a crowd of recipients holding physical evidence of my admiration for them.

As a general rule, the best course of action for most situations is to be honest and share your feelings with others. If you love them, admire them, miss them, are happy for them, or want to let them know you’re thinking of them, then, by all means, send them a letter! As long as you are not hurting anyone by sending this letter, there is no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. More importantly, you could make someone’s day. For me, nothing is more touching than receiving a handwritten letter from someone I care about. When I die, bury me in a coffin full of all the letters written to me.

Sometimes I do work at Emerson, sometimes I take a whole meeting room to myself and take selfies in the sunlight. First come, first serve.

A different truth is, of course, that life goes on. People hurt one another, lose touch, or slowly fade into the background of one’s existence. Things are constantly fluctuating, changing in ways we can’t prepare for. We are so busy! Work, school, internships; new friends, new subway lines, new bars; a big love, a big house, a big quarter-life crisis. Our minds are often scrambled, just trying to get through the motions of everyday life and enjoy it as it comes. Then, it creeps up on you, that random Friday afternoon. You hear a song you haven’t heard in a while, and it brings you back to a few years ago. Time freezes as you relive a life that you are so far removed from you wonder if it was ever even yours. Now, you’ve found yourself missing people you shouldn’t, realizing the window of opportunity to reach out has long passed, rightfully so. You’re flooded with nostalgia, rose-colored and inflated. Pouring your heart and soul out to them now would be more than wrong. 

Alexa, play ‘Bad Idea, Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo. Let this be a call to all the dewy-eyed girlies: Do NOT listen to that voice in your head telling you to make a harmless phone call to people who’ve hurt you. You have an alternative, and while it may not be as riveting of a story to tell at the cute cocktail spill-all, it is the healthier thing to do. The past is in the past, and you will never get it back, nor should you want to! More importantly, you are not the person you once were, and that is a good thing. Understand, too, that sometimes it is simply fun to reminisce, to repaint the past with the fresh perspective of a refined frontal lobe, but that doesn’t mean you should run with your naivety, expecting a new rendition of your past to become your reality.

A photo I took of two kids hanging out in Seaport, 2022.

Such circumstances as these are the perfect times to write a letter that is purposefully intended to not be sent anywhere. You can say everything you want to say, feel everything you want to feel, and simply tear it up (or burn it, which is thrilling!) when you’re done reading it over. There’s no regret, no embarrassment, no hurting others by bringing unsolicited memories back into fruition, and no risking your current peace. This is your chance to leave the “But What If?” to die. 

That being said, my favorite place to write letters I’ll never send is in my journal. Sometimes I will rip the pages out, crumble them, and toss them in the recycling bin. Other times I will leave them in my journal to look back on. I have also burned a few. Occasionally, I type them up and pretend I’m Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, but I usually just put a lock on the document until I feel I’ve outgrown whatever  I wrote down, and then I trash it. I’ve even dropped a few letters in the mailbox with no return or send address. One, I’m not proud of is when I sent a letter down a river, which was environmentally careless, but I was desperate for some kind of cinematic, main character energy to justify my emotions (Ah, to be 18 again). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you write your letter or in what way you discard it afterward. As long as you get the cathartic release you need, you’ve done yourself some good, and you should be proud.

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Right and Wrong and In-The-Middle

Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

When I was younger—like elementary-school-age—I was always the most talkative person in the room. When I tell people that nowaday, they think it’s the funniest thing in the world since I’m so different, but it’s just how I was! I loved making my thoughts known and letting the world know who I was. It didn’t always work out in my favor, though. 

I remember this one soccer practice where I tried to play along with a joke another group was making. All I got was three pairs of eyes staring at me, and someone muttering something like “what was that?” Whatever, kids are mean. I was too, probably. What I’ve realized over time is that people are capable of changing, and that holding grudges only makes things worse for yourself. 

Miscommunication was always my issue. Everyone miscommunicates sometimes, but for me it felt like the end of the world every time it happened. Like I’d failed the most basic part of life. I’d always  say things and get misunderstood, or my words would come out wrong but I wouldn’t always realize. When I did realize it sent me into great distress. Spoken words seem to fail me when they matter most. That still holds true now.  

Me!

When I was about twelve I realized I wasn’t being received how I wanted to be, and I made an effort to close myself off, quiet down a bit. To put it simply, the goal was to be liked. I think maturing and growing up a little in college (and hopefully more in the future too) is realizing that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, or to even get along with everyone. Making such a huge effort to be liked is just not worth it. It’s exhausting. I’d bend over backwards and shape myself into an entirely different person to try to get through the day. I’ve tried to figure out the solution to the problem of communication—or conversation—but I think there isn’t a clear-cut solution. Everyone’s different; everyone wants different things. I’m still quiet and a bit careful with my words, but I’m trying to find that balance. To be a bit more free to express myself. 

I was always told college is where you meet your “lifelong friends,” so when I first entered college and didn’t immediately click with someone I took it as a personal failure. There’s so much pressure in that first week, you forget you still have the rest of those four years to get through. 

I think there’s no right or wrong answer to when you meet your lifelong friends. And there’s also no right or wrong answer to who will, or can, be your friend. But if you continue to put in an effort, any friendship can last a long time. I mean, there’s been friendships I’ve let go of for this reason or that, but I do feel like there’s certain people I can see after a year and it still feels the same as it always did. That type of friendship is precious. It’s a fragile thing that requires love and effort that you have to be willing to give. 

It was difficult, but eventually I found my people. You can’t force things like that. If you force them they fall apart, which is what a lot of us learn in our first years at college. 

I started to understand what I look for in a friend as I spent time in different circles, floating around. People came into my life and left it. Life is an endless cycle of “hellos” and “goodbyes.” 

Relationships are the most confusing but the most rewarding thing in the world. 


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By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 7: You Don’t Have to Stay Home

Monday, July 29th, 2024

Renowned relationship expert Paul C. Brunson while on the Diary of a CEO podcast said something along the lines of “Go where you’re scarce.” This resonated heavily with me when trying to figure out what reasons there were for me to stay home that it started to look like I wasn’t growing the way I wanted to; and I was never convinced it was a good idea in the first place. I ignored the longstanding struggle I had with connecting with my home city and neighborhood. There was a voice telling me that I would be abandoning the very place that essentially made me. And the people.

There was a clear mismatch between myself and my environment. I honestly felt more of a transplant than a true native New Yorker. I was never a fan of the hustle mentality, never favored the overcrowded streets, and never blended in beyond the racial diversity of my neighborhood in the Bronx. Paul C. Brunson pointed me to the concept of “environmental mastery,” which is one of the six dimensions of psychological well-being: self-acceptance, positive relationships, autonomy, environmental mastery, purpose, and personal growth. I found environmental mastery to be the most difficult to fulfill right after positive relationships.

I found myself competing against strangers on the street for a couple seconds of quiet in a city and neighborhood that wasn’t built for that. I was even racing for space on narrow sidewalks, subway platforms, and other frantic spaces. This wasn’t the way I wanted to interact with the city; all I wanted was to sit and take it all in. Sadly, it seemed like speed was erasing a lot of the city from my memory, especially the positive memories I did have from childhood. The city got too big for me to feel seen. Not that I needed to be bigger than it, but I wanted to feel like there could be traces of me while I am still here. It looked more and more like the only way for me to reach environmental mastery was moving out of the city.

a group of people crossing a street in a city
A taste of the Big Apple.
Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-group-of-people-crossing-a-street-in-a-city-F2m6TRfBwko

I’ve already given much credit to my college years for getting me out of the domesticity bubble when family was at the center of my identity, my life. But I have to give it much more for even getting me to consider moving out of the city as an option. That never looked like an option when I thought all I had was here in New York City–or at least what I thought I had was here. College awakened a desire in me for more than what I was used to for all my childhood and adolescence. New travels, new people, and a chance to discover my own tastes in everything there is to enjoy in life.

Making the decision to leave your hometown isn’t the kind of decision you can make on an impulse, but it is particularly beneficial for us 20-somethings. Moving out of your hometown can give you the chance to recreate your identity based on a newly discovered sense of self, a more expansive social circle, and more decision-making control over your immediate space—throw in more control over your time. It can feel so powerful to build a life of your own even if away from the influences of those you grew up with. For those who have a burning desire to start anew like myself but find it difficult to make those first moves (no pun intended), it might help to pay close attention to any strong emotions that come up when you think about your hometown because that could indicate a larger trend of lack of contentment. Sad to say I relate to this.

I always knew I wanted to leave New York City, even all throughout college. Fear managed to get the best of me, and I stayed put for years, even when I had multiple opportunities to study or work abroad. Sharing a two-bedroom apartment with 5 other family members, working extra hard to not afford the apartments I wanted, and not having the time for a social life was negatively impacting my mental and physical health, yet I ignored that for years. Now, I won’t pretend and say that your problems will magically disappear the moment you move out. But moving out of your hometown might free you from negative environments, make you more responsible for yourself, and perhaps reveal a you that always existed but struggled to be seen in the old environment. I think there is no greater reason than finally growing into yourself to create a new home.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Relationships with the City

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

Making the move to college can be an incredibly overwhelming and stressful process, but moving to college in New York City can be even tougher! Just like that, you’re tossed into a bottomless melting pot full of cultures, people, religions, you name it! In the mix up of decorating your dorm and forming new relationships, it can be difficult to understand the major transition you’re going through. Building a community is much like building up a relationship from scratch. Though it’s the key to a successful transition to college, sometimes New York itself can feel unapproachable or oversaturated.

In order to learn how to approach the city, it’s crucial to understand it first. In an effort to better understand the culture of New York, I reached out to Professor Marry Rocco. As Director of Engaged Scholarship, Community Engagement and Inclusion at Barnard College, Professor Rocco holds extensive knowledge in the fields of urban planning and community development. Not only is Professor Rocco knowledgeable about urban studies in general, but she has also completed numerous research projects and programming centered around the New York City region. Professor Rocco’s background makes her the perfect authority to better understand what keeps New York’s gears turning. Only when you comprehend how the city functions are you then able to find your place in it. Somewhere amongst the thousands of gears, wheels, and cogs, there’s a missing screw that only you can fit in.

A Día de los Muertos Performance in front of the New York City Public Library at Grand Army Plaza. At the time, the library was paying homage to Jay-Z with Black Lives Matter and other Black themed decorations. An interesting intersection of communities, taken on 35mm film.

While you might be excited about living your New York City dreams to the max as soon as possible, it’s important to first recognize the intersecting communities that you are joining upon move-in day. Prior to leaving home, you’re already a part of a distinguished set of communities. Whether they are based on your racial identity, shared interests, or common beliefs, some communities will be easier to adjust to from previous experiences. On top of those, however, are a bundle of new communities that you are entering. It’s important to consider that you are automatically entering the New York City community as well as your university community. With so many different spaces to belong to, Professor Rocco suggested starting with your homebase. Before going out and exploring the fashion scene in SoHo or checking out the artists down in Bushwick, consider getting to know your own campus first. Make the most of your orientation week and walk around the neighborhood that your campus resides in. It’s important to use this time to acclimate yourself as a college student first and a city resident second. 

A community I’ve found at Columbia, my end of the year Aikido Club practice in Central Park.
Taken on 35mm film.

 According to Professor Rocco,  engaging with a community is like engaging with any other relationship. Like relationships with people, you must dedicate time and understanding to advance them. You don’t marry someone after the first date, you take the time to assess their personality and your compatibility. The same logic can be applied to entering a new community! Beyond whether or not you share any common characteristics that would enhance your addition to the given community, your approach and intention are major factors that play a role in how well received your transition may be. In our conversation, Professor Rocco called attention to the privilege of being able to toss around phrases like “I want to get involved in the Harlem community.” She stressed the importance of entering communities with a curious and open mind as opposed to intervening with a goal/idea in mind. Deliberation and consideration on all aspects of this new relationship are essential in developing into a valuable and appreciated community member.

Internalizing and implementing all of these ideas can help determine whether or not your experience will be pleasant, additive, or accepted. New York City is densely populated and intricately regionalized, but by approaching communities like other relationships, you can find your community wherever you may end up.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


First impressions are everything when it comes to making new relationships. Get 20% off at Daniel’s Barbershop with student ID and coupon to look fresh and clean for any new relationships you encounter!

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Finding Safety In Your Situation

Thursday, June 13th, 2024

Planting my feet on Columbia University’s campus for the first time is an experience I will never forget. Before me was an oasis of grand buildings decorated with ancient names like Homer or Herodotus that I’d never heard before. Like many college freshmen in New York City, I was moving to a new place with what seemed like the entire world sprawled out before me. That feeling can be exhilarating at times, but daunting during others. Between all of the new faces, foods, and experiences you encounter, creating a community for yourself is a must when it comes to maintaining health and even sanity. At this pivotal moment in one’s life it’s crucial to find safety in your situation. 

A photo of Butler library, showing the engravings of Homer and Herodotus.
Taken on 35mm film.

Honestly, Columbia’s makeup inherently discourages a sense of community: Tucked away in Morningside Heights, the campus removes itself from the hustle and bustle of Midtown, Downtown, and even its neighboring Harlem community. Beyond physical barriers like gates, the Ivy League university maintains its competitive nature. I’ve had countless conversations with fellow classmates who complain of the competition to do well in class. In addition to NYC’s toxic “hustle culture”, Columbia students also experience the pressures of the classroom. This especially applies to students interested in the STEM field, where professors often limit the amount of “A” letter grades they give per section. This can lead to tense relationships between students and classmates, perpetuating an “every man for himself” mindset. Instead of cultivating a community of students that uplift each other, this culture can incite gatekeeping and standoffish attitudes. In my opinion, this is counterintuitive to the nature of a university. This is especially disappointing as Columbia boasts of its location at the intersection of thousands of different cultures and people. Columbia doesn’t always encourage a culture of community, but there is still opportunity for the student to engage with their surroundings! It would be a shame to close oneself off from all that the university has to offer socially, geographically, and intellectually. 

Though it may feel easy to shy away from the whirlwind of life that bustles outside of your dorm room, I argue that you have to intentionally form a safe space for yourself in college. The first few weeks of freshman year are incredibly formative. It’s such a beautiful time of life where most people have no expectations, no friends, and no curfew. Everyone is so open to meeting new people and trying new things. It’s important to lean into this social spirit that possesses everyone at the beginning of the year. The end goal isn’t to make lifelong friends, it’s simply helpful to have people to say “hi” to or invite out for adventures in the city. When you maintain a friendly and open mindset you’re fostering a more secure environment for yourself, and for the general community. Through this mindset, we can discard the idea that one must fail a class for another to pass it. While college is an inherently individualized experience, that doesn’t mean we have to face it alone. 

Forming circles of people with similar interests or characteristics are always a great place to start. Basic commonalities were instrumental in forming new friendships. For me, I was able to connect with other students who had just moved from California to New York. These friendships provided an outlet for me to express my homesickness to someone who understood what I was going through. At the same time, I was also learning more about new people and cultures. Most importantly, we were able to support each other during one of the biggest transitions of our lives through the things we had in common. 

A group photo of some of the friends I made freshman year.
Taken on 35mm film.

I can’t sit here and tell you to hunt down all of the people from your home state on the move-in day. What I’m suggesting is to start with what you know. Whether it be where you’re from, who you want to become, or how you got here, finding friends through basic commonalities is the kickstarter for maintaining sanity at college for the first time.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


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For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Confessions of a People-Pleaser: On Advocating for your Needs and Boundaries

Monday, June 10th, 2024

There is no such a thing as someone with no needs and no boundaries. I used to believe I had none or at least no right to my own boundaries because I was placed in a role of mostly serving others. Specifically, many women are raised to believe this about themselves. And yet, many western cultures have this expectation that women still need to be these boss women with unbreakable spirits. I couldn’t reconcile these expectations before the time came for me to participate in a college lecture or start my first internship. 

I knew I had to dig deep within myself to find out why I had found it so challenging not to sacrifice myself for the needs of other people. To believe that I didn’t deserve to be listened to, helped, or have my identity affirmed as friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson loves to say. This was clearly impacting the quality of relationships I had with potential friends, my coworkers, family, and supervisors. And it was only blinding me from the potential I had of fulfilling my dreams and of living the kind of life I desired in the end. 

I mostly talk about boundary-setting with family in the second chapter of my ebook; but I would like to expand this conversation to include friends. Family is more or less our first introduction to how relationships are formed and how people view us. Some of us may have more chaotic families than others and follow scripts that strip us all of our autonomy, but they nevertheless serve as a blueprint for our friendships and other relationships important to us. 

As the eldest daughter in my family with two younger brothers, I was raised to constantly look after others, listen to their troubles, be available for when others had urgent matters to be taken care of, and always be open to visiting and being visited by other extended family members, even when the relationship was clearly one-sided. I grew accustomed to turning to journals and talking to myself to keep me away from the true feelings dying inside of me. And to still feel alive after a busy day of being a machine.

I’ll provide an example of a time I should have set boundaries with a “friend” in college. One woman approached me as I was waiting to meet with my advisor in the hallway. She seemed like the kind of person who was over-eager to talk to any new person she could find. I was surprised that she had ended up in my English Critical Theory class. From that point on, she always sat next to me, always asked me questions when the professor was speaking, called my phone several times in a row after class hours, and even plagiarized parts of an essay of mine. What looked like flattery in the beginning started to look more and more like obsession and jealousy (and she admitted to being jealous too). I should have told her that I clearly didn’t see her as a friend like she did. I should have let her know that she was exhausting me. I needed space, but because of the scripts I was fed as a eldest daughter, I willfully gave myself away to energy vampires like her.

Never been the most comfortable in front of a camera.

This was the script I carried with me into my young adulthood. I second-guessed my intellect during college lectures, which stopped me from participating. I felt guilty from wanting to lean on someone when I felt down because my supposed friends’ problems seemed more important, and I felt ashamed for ever using my free time because it was time I could have used to do more work at home or at the office. We all play roles in every aspect of our lives, but we have to decide what roles are depriving us of our humanity. How can we all get what we need without sacrificing ourselves and/or other people? That is my ultimate question. 

It requires a lonely journey to arrive at the answer simply because we live in a world that encourages us to treat each other like slot machines and less like humans. We all have a responsibility to show up for those we care about and hold them accountable when our boundaries have been crossed. Communicate openly and honestly, respect each other’s right to personal space, and learn the art of self-reliance because that will surely come in handy. It first starts with acknowledging we need things from others and learning to fulfill those needs in a healthy way.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Make New Friends But Keep The Old

Monday, June 3rd, 2024

As we grow older and move through different phases of life, maintaining long-standing friendships while nurturing new ones can be a delicate dance. Human beings are inherently social creatures and friendship is a natural response to everyday experiences. In order to survive, we form alliances. These bonds enrich our lives, providing support, joy, and a sense of belonging. Our social circles expand and contract as we navigate new schools, careers, moves, and other life changes. Finding friendship in every aspect of life enriches your experiences. 

As a rising junior in college I know the importance of having different social circles. I’ve come to see the value in each and every one of my friends and make it a priority to honor these relationships. Growing up, I went to public school in Virginia, in 8th grade I switched to a private school in the neighboring state of Maryland. When I first made the switch I was anxious to make new friends but also missed the companionship and familiarity of the people I grew up with. It was difficult to make myself available to both of my friend groups. I often had to choose between doing an activity with my neighborhood friends and accepting invitations to hangout with my new friends. As a result of wanting to fit in my new environment I felt myself prioritizing my new friendships over the old. Over time, I drifted further apart from the friends I had grown up with. I don’t blame myself for this because I think this was inevitable for my situation, I was thirteen and trying to throw myself into a social scene of people from a different state, people who had also grown up together. I believe focusing more time on building these relationships was necessary. Obviously, I would be growing closer to the people I was seeing everyday as opposed to friends I only had the chance to see on certain weekends.

However, I also made sure to invite my friends from my neighborhood to any party I hosted or dinner event I planned. In return, my friends from Virginia continued to invite me to their plans. Although our lives grew more separate, we were always able to pick up where we left off. I tried to align my social circles when I could by introducing both of my friend groups and giving them opportunities to bond. Even as a high school senior, I invited the friends I had gone to middle school with to my graduation party. While I had not seen them in months at the time of the party, they still attended because we mutually appreciated each other’s efforts to continue the relationship. 

Now, in college, we keep up with each other’s lives through social media and attend the same nightlife events when we’re home for breaks. I have even been able to connect my friends from middle school with my friends from high school who were attending the same colleges. My neighbor and best friend growing up is now roommates with one of my best friends from highscool because I connected them. There is no limit to the number of friends you can have, and bringing people together can build community. 

Through this experience, I’ve learned that relationship bonds can ebb and flow. Just because I don’t consider my middle school friends my best friends anymore but I will always be grateful for the time when we were closer. A distance is not an end. Changing relationship dynamics isn’t necessarily a bad thing; sometimes, it is just situational. It’s important that you remain conscious and attentive to how your various relationships are everchanging. Be attentive to change and make adjustments accordingly. Live by the saying, “A circle is round. It has no end. That’s how long I want to be your friend.”

My friends from middle and I in 7th grade, May 2017
My friends from middle school and I at my graduation party, May 2022
My favorite place for frozen yogurt in the city! So many great dietary options, flavors, and locations. This is a must- visit when you’re craving a sweet treat!

Hogan Bingel is a rising junior at NYU who plans to graduate in May 2026 with degrees in Journalism and Politics and a minor in The Business of Entertainment, Media, Technology, and Fashion. She grew up in Arlington, VA, outside of Washington, DC. She is home for the Summer and will be studying abroad in Florence during Fall 2024. For the time being, you can find her writing poetry, listening to vinyls, and planning her next travels.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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A 20-Something’s Thoughts on Romance

Friday, March 1st, 2024

When I was younger, I never pictured myself in a relationship. While I know now that the experience isn’t all that uncommon, it felt anything but normal at the time. Other girls my age talked about crushes and respective prince charmings with the kind of enthusiasm I could only struggle to understand. Why did they care so much? Why put so much energy into something that seemed to only make life more complicated? What exactly was it about being with someone that made the world so fixated on love? I didn’t get it and firmly believed that I would never get it. That was, at least, until Ethan. 

I can’t say that it was love at first sight, nor could I say that the world stopped around us like so many movies before us did. But to quote a writer I enjoyed when I first met Ethan, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. There’s a reason John Green is still proud of that line. Nothing else could describe the way it all happened so perfectly. He was someone I knew, then someone I admired, a friend who became a close friend, my best friend even, the best person I ever met, and then finally the only person I could see spending my life with. Slowly, and then all at once. I gradually got to know him, shared his interests and his jokes, and then suddenly he was all I could think about. 

I think Hollywood often has it all wrong concerning love, at least when it comes to real love in the modern age. The grand theatrics of old classics are alluring, after all, who wouldn’t want to be chosen over a lavish fortune or whisked away to untold adventure? Who wouldn’t want a Prince Charming? But the reality is that even Prince Charming’s palace will crumble if its foundation is lacking. Your partner could show up at your doorstep with as many roses as you like, but if you can’t hold an everyday conversation, what’s the point?

I believe that at its core, love is built upon a foundation of trust and understanding. Without these fundamental elements, even the most passionate relationships can falter. Trust forms the bedrock upon which love flourishes, without it you leave space for insecurity and imbalance. Understanding cultivates empathy and compassion so that partners to connect on a deeper level and navigate challenges with grace. Moreover, love thrives on balance, compromise, and care. It requires a delicate equilibrium where each partner’s needs are considered and respected, fostering a sense of equality and harmony. Romance is important in love, but relationships are so much more complicated than that. To insinuate anything else would be to insult the human spirit. After all, the only thing more complex than one human being is the connection between two.

It’s been nearly eight years since I met Ethan with us being a rare example of rather functional high school sweethearts. We’ve had countless dates, arguments, and rounds of all major holidays including the three-month gauntlet I have to go through to cover Christmas, his birthday, and Valentine’s Day all in a row. In all that time, I can firmly say without a hint of doubt that while we’ve grown together, we’ve also grown to understand what was really important when it came to maintaining a relationship. At least as much as humanly possible. In essence, love flourishes when trust, understanding, balance, compromise, and care are woven together to create a strong and resilient bond and I learned all that with Ethan by my side.


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By Isabella Bosso

Isabella is a junior Comics student at the School of Visual Arts and a self-described nerd shut-in. She grew up in Garfield, New Jersey and you can find her curled up with her dog playing the latest RPG with her boyfriend.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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