Posts Tagged ‘Relationships’

Be Wary of Placing Limits and Expiration Dates on Friendships

Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

The idea for this chapter came to mind as I was talking to one of my good college friends, who happens to be two years older than me, about her experience with friendship “expiration dates.” That was the very first time I had heard anyone describe the all-too-familiar way in which we inadvertently place people and potential friends into very defined and limited categories, steering away from what we see as “expired” (or soon to be expired) relationships. I thought back to all the people I’d met in the last few weeks of middle or high school whom I’d given up on before even getting to know, all because it was simply “too late” (spoiler alert: it really wasn’t). I remembered how I’d labeled people as too cool, too old or too young, or, quite simply, too different to approach.

My friend, whom we’ll call Abby, had come into her freshman year of college with a very similar attitude; that is, until she realized there were only a few weeks left in her first year, and she hadn’t figured out her place in college yet. When she turned to her fellow first-years, they seemed to be in a very similar boat, which is when she realized she needed to change course, and quickly. With graduation looming not so far ahead, these wise, older students would soon fall in the “expired” category. Abby decided that she’d meet each senior student once, if only just to touch base and extract whatever they had to say about their own college experience, and then leave her coffee appointments smarter, wiser and all the better for it. This impromptu, speed-friend-dating escapade of hers, however, would bear very different fruits than she could’ve possibly imagined. It was during what was meant to be nothing more than a one-hour coffee break, Abby told me, that she’d met one of the girls whom she now considered one of her best friends. To this day, they take the time to speak (or text or call) almost every week, keeping themselves in the other’s life via simple but frequent updates. Although the nature of their friendship has made it so that they’re rarely in the same place at the same time, Abby and her friend have learned how to make space for their friendship in their respective lives. And if that isn’t a sign of true friendship, I don’t know what is.  

“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” by katerha is licensed under CC BY 2.0

As Abby shared this with me, I felt like my mind was going a thousand miles a minute. Over the course of my own freshman year, I had experienced first-hand what it felt like to get caught-up in a bunch of “surface” friendships, to be constantly surrounded by people and still feel stranded on my own personal island of loneliness. It was by talking to Abby, however, and after realizing that I had been able to make genuine and long-lasting connections near the end of the year, that I began to see how that feeling had been partially my own fault. From the very beginning, I had come into college with the idea that my first-year friends were something temporary, people that would only last for a certain phase of my life, relationships that I had to form because I hated being alone, and as a result of that, I hadn’t truly given each friend a chance. Because of my fears (of being left behind, of failing to assimilate), I had been in a sort of friendship paralysis, where I focused on making “realistic” friends, and placed people into attainable vs. unattainable categories. In short, I forgot about the fact that behind each friend, there’s a very real and unique human being, who has very real and unique things to bring to my life, even if it’s not always in a way that I’m familiar or already comfortable with. And that’s what made me realize that it’s kind of ridiculous to put an expiration date on people, because no amount of distance, time differences, or personal differences can spoil the type of connection that forms between two people who are dedicated to letting friendship bloom between them.

Main Takeaways (If this chapter evoked something in you that says “Oh yeah, I do that,” or if you’re currently experiencing that weird “not-alone but lonely” stage of life (we’ve all been there), I’d encourage you to do one of two things): 

  • Reach out to that person you’ve been hesitant to hang out with, whether it’s because you think you’re too different, or you don’t see the chance of a long-lasting friendship; you never actually know what can happen unless you try, and worst-case scenario they say no (and you’re right back where you started).
  • Take steps to deepen one of your current relationships by being more intentional with each other; set the standard for a deeper friendship, whether it’s by being more open in communication or changing the usual setting of your relationship. 

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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You Can’t Live in the Honeymoon Phase (And You Probably Don’t Want To)

Tuesday, October 5th, 2021

You’ve probably heard of the Honeymoon Phase, a term generally used to refer to that special moment right after you meet someone where it all just feels so new and exciting that you’re willing to overlook any annoyances or red flags. It’s likely you’ve experienced this feeling yourself, as well as the staunch disappointment that comes with the (at times) harsh transition out of this phase — it’s important to remember, however, that the Honeymoon phase is, by its very nature, not made to last and that is actually very good news.

Here’s the thing about making friends, especially in college; not every friendship is created equal, and you have to learn very quickly to prioritize. Every week, day, and hour, you’re meeting someone new who lives within a 5-mile radius of where you live, and with whom you are likely to have at least one thing in common, even if that is only that you both go to the same school. The possibilities of friendship are endless, which, although exciting, can very quickly lead to social burnout or the accumulation of a whole lot of what I like to call “surface friends.” These are acquaintances who have moved into the “friends” category by default, without any true intentionality from either party. These types of friendships, while serving their purpose (and doing it well) in certain situations, cannot be the core of what you consider friendship to be. A true friend is someone who, as in every other relationship in your life, you are willing to invest time and effort into. They’re people whom you can trust with a secret, those who you can spam with messages without worrying about how that will change their perception of you by making you seem too needy, too careless, too attached…

This brings us back to the topic at hand—the honeymoon phase. At this point, I find it helpful to think of the types of friendships you’re looking to form in college as extensions, or at the very least close replicas, of the relationships you have with close family members, such as siblings, cousins or even parents. If you can truly say you never fight with these people in your life, I suggest you think of writing a book on the matter (and please send me an advance copy). More likely, however, you are no stranger to the daily, at times hourly, tussles or disagreements that come with close cohabitation or relationship with people—and the type of conflict negotiation that comes when abandoning the relationship is not even an option that crosses your mind. That is what you’re looking to replicate when forming friendships in college — at least the core, close ones. When you think about it, your friends become your new family: your home away from home. I’m not suggesting they can replace your family (my mother would kill me), but you do need to see them as the new nucleus to your life at college. And, as you do not shy away from conflict or disagreement in your related family, you should not do so in your new, “adopted” family.

“Honeymoon Sunset…” by douea is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

In my own experience, I’ve found that approaching certain friendships with a renewed sense of commitment (one which I communicated with them) despite not always “clicking” with people on every level, has led to incredible growth in my personal as well as professional life. It’s normal at the beginning to focus on the quantity of friends – life moves fast on a college campus, and freshman year especially feels like a race for stability. Something I found useful was to, after the first couple of weeks, choose which group/club/activity I was willing and wanting to dedicate more of my time to. There, I got to know a small group of people very well, and began looking for ways to see them in different settings and situations during the week. Instead of seeing them only in large group meetings, I reached out to individual people (or they did me) and asked them to grab coffee, lunch, study together or go on a walk to that place on campus everyone had been talking about.

This was truly a turning point for my college experience – it not only taught me more about commitment and responsibility to others, but gave me enough faith in my ability to form deep, true friendships that I became more open and confident even in my “surface friendships.” True, committed friendships are life giving, because they do not focus on using each other for convenience—rather, they are a balance of give-and-take, in which you learn to grow and experience life as independent adults together.

Main Takeaways: 

  • The “Honeymoon Phase” is great for making new friends and should be taken fully advantage of when you’re in it, but you shouldn’t be afraid of moving past it to get to the core, real and honest side of friendship.
  • Forming a nucleus of close friends is an important part of finding stability in college, and teaches you important values such as acceptance, accountability and conflict resolution.

By: Chiara Jurczak

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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You’re Not a Mind Reader, and Neither Are Your Friends (Probably)

Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

In my last chapter, I talked about metaphors—now, I’d like to address the irony that lies in many of the processes tied to friendship-building. The greatest, and probably most obvious one is what I’ll call the “You Should Know That” phenomenon. This refers to the all-too-familiar thought process that we all have a tendency to fall into at some point during the friendship-making process, where we start to believe (and expect) that our friends are mind readers, who have the ability to deduce, without being told, everything we need and require of them.

In the early stages of friendship, we are not at risk of falling into this trap. In one of my Communication Studies courses this year, we went over “Uncertainty Reduction Theory”; the idea that at this point in the friendship formation process, the uncertainty in your relationship is at its peak height, and that the focus of all communication efforts is therefore placed on uncertainty reduction. You realize that you have to be explicit and clear about what you mean and need, and you never seem to run out of questions or anecdotes that may draw some piece of information or knowledge out of them that would help you get a better picture of who they are. 

Slowly (but surely), you get more comfortable around your friend, and start to (at times mistakenly) believe that there really isn’t that much you don’t know. Instead of asking them about every single detail of their life, you’re more focused on finding “natural flow”, and start to fill in the gaps of your knowledge about them with assumptions. These assumptions, whether positive or negative, will have a pretty big impact on the way in which your friendship evolved from there. 

In my own personal experience, assumptions such as these led to the deterioration of a friendship which might have otherwise survived. After a couple of weeks of meeting this friend, I had a whole list of assumptions, ready to soothe whatever uncertainties blatantly existed in our relationship; I assumed that when they didn’t respond to my greetings, they were probably listening to music very loud and didn’t want to be disturbed. I assumed that when they stopped telling me everything about their day and weekends, it meant they just needed a little space. I assumed that we were fine, doing good, and that they could see that I was just eager to get to know them better and all I needed was an indication from them that they wanted the same…and I was wrong. This whole time, I had been assuming that they knew what I was thinking, and that I had stopped approaching them as much because I had noticed (or perceived) a slight withdrawal, and taken that to mean that they wanted space. All the while, they had seen my sudden lack of questions and interest in their life as a form of judgement, of disdain and disinterest.

“[ C ] Francis Hyman Criss – Mind reader” by Cea. is licensed under CC BY 2.0

The hard-to-swallow truth is, you (probably) aren’t as good at “reading minds” as you think you are—even your friends’. It’s only natural to start letting assumptions rule your view of others, and it’s true that with a certain amount of time and friendship formation, some things can become more implicit than they previously were. However, it’s also important to remember that no matter how well or how long we get to know someone, we are never truly capable of seeing and understanding how they are feeling, at the very least not without communicating directly with them.

So what can you do? I guess the Golden Rule comes in handy here: treat others the way you want to be treated. It is important to learn to ask for what you need, and to make it clear to your friends that they can do the same with you. If you’re to build a long-lasting and fulfilling friendship, you both need to feel comfortable enough to tell each other how you really feel; you can do that by setting a standard for open and honest communication early in the relationship. Otherwise, you might be missing out on several friendships which you may assume failed out of an incompatibility between the two of you, and not the real, root cause:misunderstandings tied to a lack of clear, direct, and honest communication. 

Main Takeaways: 

  • As we get more comfortable around our friends, we stop relying on verbal communication as much and let our messages become more implicit—this can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and tense moments. 
  • It’s important to remember that feelings don’t always reflect reality;it’s important to talk to your friends about your feelings and learn to ask for the affirmation and confirmation you need from them. This will help you grow in your relationship and set the standard for an honest and long-lasting friendship.

By: Chiara Jurczak

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Friendships, A Puzzling Affair

Tuesday, September 21st, 2021

If you’re anything like me, you like to use metaphors to try and make sense of the world around you. And if you’re nothing like me, all the better; sometimes, metaphors are most appreciated by those standing outside their wily bounds, looking on with a critical and unconvinced eye.

Without further ado, I’d like to present to you the Friendship Metaphor (FM)(I hope you’ll excuse this unimaginative title, but too much creativity can be a bad thing). As indicated by the title of this chapter, this metaphor revolves entirely around one of the most controversial pastimes known to man: puzzles. Some people love them, some people hate them (yours truly), but I think that generally, most people derive a certain satisfaction from the process of finding pieces which only moments before being joined into a seamless design were little more than individual units floating in a sea of possibilities and wrong roads.

      There are two ways to go about the metaphor from here. First, you can think of yourself as one of the puzzle pieces; this option is not entirely appealing to me. Firstly, it assumes that you are some unchangeable, fixed piece, and we all know that couldn’t be further from the truth. Think back to the person you were ten, five or even one year ago. You probably don’t approach life (and therefore friendships) in the same way as you did then. Secondly, this view of the metaphor assumes that you can only be connected to the pieces right next to you, those that resemble you the most. I think you can see why that might be an unrealistic visualization.

      We arrive, therefore, at the place I believe the FM maximizes its full metaphorical potential for helping us understand friendship formation: rather than seeing yourself as the puzzle piece, view yourself as the master, and the pieces as the various relationships and connections you are building. Here, you are the one putting the pieces together, taking different approaches to how you build friendships and relationships in every area of your life. Just like when assembling a puzzle, you are motivated at the start–the possibilities are endless, and you’re confident in your ability to complete this puzzle. Then, frustration–you realize finding matching pieces is not as easy as you’d thought, and that the pieces and approaches you’d counted on are failing you. In desperation, you may put the puzzle aside for a while and tell yourself that this “hobby” isn’t for you after all, only to pick it up again,letting the entire cycle restart.


“Puzzle” by INTVGene is licensed with CC BY-SA 2.0. To view a copy of this license, visit https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

As a college student, as you move away from home and feel lost in a sea of new people, keep this in mind: you’re not restarting the puzzle at every friendship you forge, just working on a different section. In a way, you’ve been assembling the puzzle your whole life. When you were little, maybe a loved one helped you out with the hard parts. Now, they’re giving you space to figure it out.

So, if the Friendship Metaphor can help you approach friendships in college in any way, I hope it’s by reminding you how capable you are of completing this puzzle, your puzzle. I’m not saying it will be easy, nor will it always be pleasant. But what I can guarantee is that if you let the fear of failure stop you, your unfinished puzzle will just become an annoying reminder of all the friendships you could’ve forged and that are just waiting for you to accept them into your life.

Main takeaways:

  • Forging friendships is like putting together a puzzle, where you’re the assembler and the pieces are all the connections and relationships you are forging.
  • It’s normal to be overwhelmed or even frustrated when assembling a puzzle – and it’s no different with friendships. In those cases, it can be helpful to remind yourself that you’re not necessarily starting over, just working on a different part of the puzzle (and your life).

By: Chiara Jurczak

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Plugging in with Good Intentions — Chapter 5: Bridge the Distance

Monday, August 9th, 2021

Despite the exceptional ability to search on the World Wide Web and instantly receive information, our modern-day technology allows us to accomplish one significant thing — bridge the distance. Today, we have the ability to communicate with people across the world. Advancements in technology and the Internet have come so far, and they continue to develop and improve for the better. We are extremely lucky to even have a mini device that fits into our pocket that can connect us to not only people, but places to eat, shop, and entertain ourselves. 

It seems bizarre to think that our elders were accustomed to sending handwritten letters and playing board games for entertainment. The amount of time and effort it takes to execute tasks such as ordering something from Amazon or looking up the latest news is cut in half because of technology and the Internet. A world without modern-day devices is almost inconceivable.

Think of the Covid-19 pandemic that we are still suffering through after more than a year of its discovery. Due to the transmissibility of the virus, many of us have had to resort to utilizing technology in order to connect with others. Health regulations and social distancing guidelines have created a wider gap between all of us. Despite this, the ability to continue with everyday life is possible because most of us are lucky enough to use devices that help uphold some degree of communication. From remote learning to working from home, we are still able to maintain our connections. Web conferencing applications such as Zoom, Skype, and Google Meet are just a few of the many platforms that allow virtual face-to-face meetings from anywhere that has an Internet connection. 

Even if you don’t prefer turning on the webcam, there is still the ability to simply talk to others through technology. While it was an early contraption, Alexander Graham Bell’s invention of the telephone revolutionized communication. While some of us might not own a landline anymore, most of us do have a mobile phone that can make calls. 

Fast forward to the 21st century, it’s safe to say that times have changed and younger generations continue to utilize other means of communication. Social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter have been popularized and allow users to instantaneously express thoughts and connect with people worldwide. Whether you prefer to call, text, web conference, or simply post an update on social media, technology and the Internet allow you to communicate across great distances. 

Personally, I can’t go a day without using some form of device that connects to the Internet. One time I did last most of the day without my devices. Though, I do have to admit that it was for a challenge assigned by one of my professors. Notably, a digital detox is good for the mind and body, as it’s a way to appreciate the tangible reality that is right in front of us.

In the end, it’s important to recognize the need for boundaries and knowing when to take a break from technology and the Internet. Yet, once you’re ready to log back into that device just remember to plug in with good intentions


If you’re in need of services to bridge the distance check out these deals from The UPS Store!


By: Sydney Ly

Sydney Ly studies Communication with dual minors in Sociology and Anthropology at the University of Massachusetts Boston. She is currently working in retail and has experience as a tutor. Her passions include but are not limited to reading, listening to music, and watching The Office.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Rules of Dating

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2021

Hookup culture is more prevalent than ever, and more bound to happen than conventional dating on a college campus. Dating is difficult because it’s hard to find someone who is on the same page as you. Students are more comfortable and familiar with the act of hooking up because it lacks the etiquette of traditional dating. Hooking up is designed to be a more casual activity in which there’s more comfort, and society has gotten acclimated to it. A genuine date involves only two individuals that are attracted to each other, nobody else should be a part of it. It’s important to come up with at least 3 questions prior to setting up a date. The point of this is to sustain a conversation and get to know one another on a deeper level. It’s advised that one should be diligent in regards to questions, because asking countless questions will probably lead to an interview or interrogation rather than a date. If someone doesn’t make time or effort to see you, then continue to proceed with the next one to avoid wasting time and being emotionally attached to one person. The objective of going on dates is to understand if both parties are compatible and could see a future together. In addition, attending multiple dates with the same person is like an experiment to progress further and see if the next step should be taken. Just like rankings, there are levels to dating which are a series of sequential steps that form the foundation of a relationship.

Stage 1: You’re permitted to go on countless dates with different people to see who is the right fit and worth dating. This part of the process can be defined as trial and error by selecting potential partners and weeding out those not worth your time and attention. The date must be in person, under 90 minutes, and with no physical interaction or intimacy. If you’re proposing the date then you should take charge and cover the cost, and don’t forget to have three to four questions in mind prepared. A level one date allows you to explore others’ personalities, their preferences and dislikes, who they really are, and helps you to decide if you want to pursue a relationship with that person.

Stage 2:  Now that you’re on the path of dating you can take baby steps to proceed, but this doesn’t have to be real relationship work. Once you are dating someone then there shouldn’t be any sense of uncertainty as to whether your partner likes you. I mean obviously your partner likes you, otherwise there wouldn’t be a romantic relationship in the first place unless you’re being manipulated or cheated on. This stage also conveys exclusivity, which implies that you’re concentrating on only one person and having sexual affairs. 

Stage 3: After you complete the first two stages, you should be capable of laying the groundwork for what’s next. By this phase, you should be emotionally invested in your partner and schedule time to hold long and important conversations. Have a timeline of where you would like to be, and see if it aligns and meshes well with your significant other. For example, get in the habit of chatting about marriage, family, and moving in together. Jumping too quickly to this portion of the relationship will inevitably lead to a skewed partnership which will end up in a big predicament.

https://www.datingadvice.com/advice/the-dating-rules

Following the guidelines above will put you in a safer position in the dating realm, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Technology has changed the way we communicate; more chats occur online than in person. We’ve grown so attached to our devices that sometimes we deem online messaging to be more conventional and less awkward than in person exchanges. A good deal of people fear the idea of a relationship because of the commitment aspect and sacrifices. It would be preposterous to not believe that everyone prefers an attractive person when it comes to romance. However, it’s probable that you can develop feelings for someone who you may not be initially attracted to once you really begin to see their character. You’d be astonished to see how many failed and toxic relationships break out as a result of just dating off of physical appearance alone; it’s crucial to recognize one’s ideology and what they can project to the world aside from their beauty.

I admit that dating can be frightening for a variety of reasons like rejection and vulnerability. Even so, you should perceive this as a driving force to help you put the idea of dating into practice, to explore new territory and get you out of your comfort zone. There’s no telling what new heights you can reach if you just take the chance because it’s either now or never!

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By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Dating Opportunities & Obstacles

Tuesday, March 16th, 2021

As cliche as it sounds, love is beautiful, and everyone deserves to feel loved and find happiness. People choose to get into relationships for different reasons, whether to share your life with another person, or to fill a void. Sure, it may sound like it’s super simple to have a romantic connection with someone, but have you ever thought about the long term outcomes? It’s difficult to detect if someone is content with their partnership because it’s easy to conceal your true feelings and pretend that everything is fine. I find myself fantasizing all the time about the type of relationship I desire and how amazing it would be. I’m envious of those who’ve already found a partner, it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong since I’m still single. In spite of my rationale, I understand that I can be setting up myself for disaster and repentance if I carelessly rush myself to obtain a girlfriend. I’m not implying that a romantic connection is awful, because it’s not, just there are perks to being both single and in a relationship. In the long run you’ll most likely make a fair amount of sacrifices and compromise which are pivotal to having a successful love story.

I’m not writing this to condemn you or patronize you if you’re in a relationship for the “wrong” reasons; that’s not what I’m trying to accomplish here. I just want my audience to be well informed and embed into their minds that you’re allowed to take things at a moderate pace; take the time to embrace your single days and mature before placing yourself in a delicate position and being vulnerable, that way you’ll be much more enamored of your partner. Not knowing what you want out of a relationship or the benefits and disadvantages of a relationship can put you in a foggy situation, it’s terrifying to say the least. I don’t want you to leave here in a puzzled state and not valuing your decisions. The next time you’re ready to open to love again, really scrutinize the circumstances beforehand and understand that this is a serious commitment.

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/the-2-questions-to-ask-if-you-want-to-end-up-in-a-happy-relationship-2019-02-13

Opportunities

  • Financial Assistance: As humans, we usually need money to survive and afford our necessities. Unfortunately, not everyone is born wealthy which is why the majority of us have to work our butts off day in and day out to be financially stable. When you find “the one,” they can support you and vice versa; as such, you can pay the bills while your partner can take care of the groceries.
  • Lots of love and appreciation: If you say that you’re okay being alone and feel nonchalant about love, you’re most likely lying. People naturally crave love and the feeling of being acknowledged, we’re all like that in one way or another. You can find that same validation from a close friend but it doesn’t compare to what a romantic partner has to give. It doesn’t take away anything, but I’m just conveying that a romantic connection brings out the best in you since you’ll always be comforted and cherished.
  • Family and friends: As you enter into a long term commitment with your partner, you’ll eventually have to discuss important matters such as having a family. Once you’re in that phase, you can take on new responsibilities as new parents and care for your new family. Having your own children and being parents will generate a special feeling you can’t obtain elsewhere, it’s immeasurable and that’s the epitome of true love. Oh, I can’t forget about friends and social life. In most cases you’ll most likely get along with your partner’s group of friends unless they resent you for some reason or don’t vibe with you. From there, you’ll begin to build relationships with them and get to know them better meaning your social circle will gradually expand.

Obstacles

  • Continuous effort: You may think you’re all set and free to go after establishing a relationship. I hate to break it to you but it’s not that easy. You have to keep supplementing the relationship, otherwise what’s the point? It’s like feeding a turtle for the first couple of days and not feeding it days to come, and then the turtle dies. You still have to do your part and be open to uncomfortable conflicts and conversations. Reference the rule of love languages if you need to, they’re really important principles that will strengthen a partnership. 
  • Time constraint & less freedom: Your lifestyle will undoubtedly change to a great extent and you’ll have to take your partner into account when making decisions. You can’t just do whatever you feel like doing and act on your own accord, that could be seen as being selfish. I don’t know your age but I’m going to presume that you’re an adult and you have things to prioritize and a load of responsibilities to take care of; don’t renounce them and walk away so that your partner can do everything for you. Yes, it’s a drag that you’ll need consent from your partner before going out with your friends for a drink or flying out to a different city, but remember you signed up for this. Ensure that you have your partner’s word before doing anything that can obstruct your relationship, be considerate! 
  • The Possibility of Not Working out: You heard me right, there’s no telling how far a relationship can go just like how unpredictable life is. How can you be so confident and sure that the relationship is going to work out in the long run? I’ve heard many anecdotes regarding how impeccable one’s partnership is and how he or she is “the one.” I can come up with a plethora of reasons that justify a relationship not going as planned; to name a few, the same level of chemistry and momentum you once had for someone may wear off after some time has passed, you might come to the realization that he or she isn’t your person after all, and you may need time for yourself and your partner to be separated. Although you poured your heart and soul into an individual and let your walls down, you can still appreciate the moments you had and learn from your experiences!

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By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Dating Etiquette across the Globe

Monday, March 8th, 2021

I’m sure you all know that things operate differently depending on factors such as culture and location. We all walk a different path in life, that’s what makes us distinctive individuals. The meaning of love and the way you express it may be perceived with disapproval or repugnance by others. All of these ideas tie into good manners, which can be applied into more than just love scenarios. You want to be viewed as a good citizen who is well-informed and educated; otherwise, people will think negatively of you and believe that you weren’t properly taught. This topic of dating etiquette is also analogous to love languages, since we exhibit affection and delineate love in different ways. Another important concept that should be enumerated is interracial dating—a controversial one indeed as it is looked down upon by those not condoning of it. When there is a romantic relationship between two people stemming from contrasting cultures, they are essentially embodying each other’s culture, customs, and family history. We’re in the year 2021 and interracial dating is not abnormal. In fact, it’s becoming more generalized especially here in the United States. The Pew Research Center found that the percentage of interracial couples living together increased from 7.4 in 2000 to 10.2 around 2016.

When witnessing how various cultures interpret love, we may initially think to ourselves “oh that’s weird” or “how is this even romantic?” The irony is that people from different backgrounds may find our own love expressions preposterous, or even disgusting. What I’m trying to say is that we all think similarly because we’re just not accustomed to foreign dating customs and our values don’t line up with theirs, and at the end of the day it’s a new experience for everyone. I can even speak from personal experience; my parents met in China and have been married for over two decades. You would believe that their marriage is healthy, right? Truth be told, I don’t see a connection or a romantic interest in either one of them. I also find it funny and peculiar that I’ve never even seen them do anything intimate like giving a quick kiss. I don’t know if people in China are embarrassed about love or they get married just for the sake of it; as a matter of fact, I can’t recall any memories of my family members demonstrating any romantic attraction, and the discussion of sex is considered taboo. Keep in mind that love is subjective and it doesn’t have to meet another person’s standards—just do what’s right for your own relationship. Who cares what the next person thinks, his or her opinion shouldn’t affect you much. Human beings are judgmental, let them make comments. You should be proud of your rendition of love.

https://lovedevani.com/dating-culture-in-brazil

Here is a list of countries and their respective dating protocols that I compiled that may leave you astounded.

Japan:

  • Although sex is not necessarily shown as taboo, public affection is not permitted.
  • First dates typically occur in a group meeting (goukon).
  • If you become the Bachelor or get stuck on a group date then I recommend kicking off the date with sweets! You can use Campus Clipper coupons like the one below for some enjoyable cookies and cupcakes. Click here to view the coupon and make sure to go to the Campus Clipper website for more savings.
  • PDA isn’t taken lightly, negatively viewed – the most you would get after a romantic date is probably a stiff hug.
  • Shy away from direct feelings & expressions, much prefer subtle signs.

France:

  • Like Japan, most first dates take place in a group setting.
  • Going on dates or seeing someone and displaying affection typically indicates that you’re committed to someone.
  • More romance in dating.
  • A good deal of PDA.
  • Serious eye contact.

India:

  • Casual dating isn’t well received.
  • End goal is marriage.
  • There is a notion that women have to always be pursued and pampered.
  • Arranged marriages still exist but take form online through dating apps, rather than the traditional way. There are apps available for Indians parents to match their children to anyone they find compatible with. 

China:

  • Actual dating schools exist for men due to the gender imbalance in China (because of the one child per family policy).
  • It is fine to call and text frequently, even if the relationship just started.
  • The Chinese take marriage quite solemnly, there’s a pressure of getting married; once you reach your 30s and you’re still single then you’re classified as a “leftover.”
  • Strays away from verbal affection due to various reasons like awkwardness and cultural traditions.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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COVID & Its Impact on Dating

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2021

Life takes twists and turns, the pandemic reformed the world and we have to acclimate to what is considered the new normal. If many areas like the economy have been altered then the dating scene should also be a bit different, right? Although the dating landscape is now more heavily focused on online dating, the pandemic is making everything more online prior to the start of the epidemic; the only difference is that now people have no other choice but to utilize dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble to find love. With public spaces being closed and restrictions enforced, there’s really no way to meet a potential partner face to face in public let alone go on a traditional date. Not only are singles going through a tough time, those already in a relationship are suffering as well since we can’t see each other as much, especially long distance relationships. Moreover, college students can no longer attend parties or extracurricular activities to meet people. Because of these current stipulations, many of us are on the same boat to doing things virtually which eventually leaves a heavy feeling of loneliness. There was a study conducted in 2019 that illustrated the aftermath of swiping on dating apps, users couldn’t help but feel lonelier than before.

Whether you love it or hate it, the reality is that online dating is here to stay and will continue to proliferate. The presence of COVID-19 prompted people to crave interactions to eliminate the feeling of being lonely regardless if it’s for a friendship or romantic relationship; the most plausible method to go about this is counting on dating apps despite the sheer number of users and competition there. Now I wouldn’t advocate hopping on online dating platforms because they may result in low self-esteem and confidence issues, which tends to apply to more men than women. If you happen to land on a date with someone, communicate with them in order to see what type of date both of you prefer. A large number of people stick to a video call as their first date which is very common nowadays; this is an outstanding strategy to determine if both parties can engage with each other on a deeper level and if there’s compatibility. This also helps take cat-fishing out of the equation, you can see if the person you matched with is who you pictured them to be.

https://abc7news.com/how-to-date-during-a-pandemic-online-dating-tips-for-meeting-the-right-person-advice/6419474/

We have to recognize that anyone can still contract the virus when they socialize or partake in intimate contact. The most realistic options that you have for a safe date are going for walks in the park, grabbing coffee at a cafe, and hosting a picnic just to name a few. I’m aware that these are only viable ideas for either a first or second date, but you’ll have to work with what you have and hope for the best; it’s going to be redundant and mundane, but what can you really do about it given the present circumstances? Taking the date to the next level generally indicates sex; however, it’s going to be perilous and you’re going to look like a fool with a mask on. Furthermore, a doctor by the name of Kimberly Tilley claimed that wearing a mask won’t reduce the chances of disseminating the virus because it’s just not possible to social distance during sex. Meeting up with someone for the first time during the pandemic can also be super awkward, believe it or not. Try to imagine this in your head, pretend that I’m so excited to meet this pretty girl at Central Park and I see her smiling but what do I even do? Should I welcome her by giving her a hug? Giving your date a hug is what most people do, it shows that you’re genuinely delighted to see them; however, what if the girl completely dodges my hug? If my hug gets brushed off then it undoubtedly changes the whole mood and environment of the planned date. I would want to turn around and scurry back home to avoid the humiliation I just went through. It’s going to feel like you just had your heart ripped out literally and I can only imagine how embarrassing it would be if there were people watching. Many would prefer not to be touched with COVID cases spiking, but ask your date if you can hug them or try to read their body language. For the time being, you’ll have to stick to what limited resources that are available or perhaps use this time wisely and work on yourself until normalcy returns. Trust me, I know this isn’t the most ideal time to search for love but hey try to picture it from the bright side; all this spare time will allow you to set goals for yourself and improve yourself then you can come back more than ready to meet people after this fiasco concludes.


By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Find Your Love Language

Wednesday, February 24th, 2021

I know that love is beautiful and romantic, but how exactly do you express it with your significant other? That’s where the concept of love languages comes in; there are a total of five universal love languages as explained by Gary Chapman. In his book, “The Five Love Languages for Singles,” he states that “Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning.” Not every relationship is going to convey love in the same way because we all have our own notions surrounding what love is. Therefore, it’s important to ponder how different people demonstrate affection in various ways and also desire affection in specific ways. A partnership is like a puzzle, you have to figure out what is compatible with your partner and cater to their needs. Recognizing the importance of love languages will not only enhance your partnership, but also reduce the chance of ruining the relationship. If your idea of love doesn’t meet your partner’s expectations or emotional needs then the chances of perpetuating the relationship diminishes and an adjustment should be made; your definition of love should be parallel to your significant other’s interpretation of love. I mean, think about it, am I going to get my point across and communicate effectively with an individual that speaks in a different language than I do?

Take the time to figure out what your primary love language is and see if it correlates with your partner’s outlook on love. You’re allowed to have multiple love languages, the more the merrier; familiarity with more than one language will put you in a better position to progress your relationship. It doesn’t matter if one sounds better than the other, you’re doing this to address and meet your partner’s needs in order to take the romance to new heights and make it work. Respect their desire for affection and the way they wish to be acknowledged to prevent disappointment. Now do your due diligence and use this opportunity to find what resonates with you and apply it to your relationship.

http://peacockplume.fr/lifestyle/should-you-know-your-love-language

The 5 Love Languages

  • Words of Affirmation: This one is quite straightforward since it involves articulating thoughts and diction. The act of listening and uttering words to communicate love can be conducted through either acclamations or compliments. If you find out that the reciprocal love language between both parties is affirmation, then make sure what’s coming out of your mouth is genuine. Voicing “I love you” or “You’re so beautiful” is very basic, but at the same time they’re powerful words; the objective here is to boost their confidence and remind them that they’re special.
  • Quality Time: Most of us learned that we shouldn’t take any moment for granted especially given the current state of affairs. Time is limited and we can’t predict when our last breath will be and when something comes to an end. You can dedicate your time and attention to your partner in a variety of ways, this can be as simple as making great eye contact and conversing with one another. You can even take it up a notch by doing something more thoughtful like planning a sophisticated date, trust me you’ll get bonus points for such deeds. Brush off the constant distractions and just focus on what’s in front of you!
  • Receiving Gifts: This shouldn’t be hard to notice because we all know how it feels to receive a gift and make a gift. Remember the level of exhilaration that filled you on Christmas day? You can emulate that same enthusiasm for someone you love such as your significant other. Regardless of the cost or rarity of the gift, you’re going to induce a bright smile on your partner’s face; it’s not all about materialistic items in this case but rather the sentiment that went into crafting the present. Some ideas may include writing a card of appreciation, purchasing flowers, and sweet pastries. If you want to splurge then by all means, go ahead; either route you decide to choose, your kind gestures won’t go unnoticed.
  • Acts of Service: See the word service? That term has a positive connotation to it, we see it everyday from restaurants to customer service. Making kind contributions and lending a hand speak volumes as to who you are as a person, hence actions speak louder than words. Those who pride themselves in their efforts and productivity most likely belong in this category. This is the route you should take if your significant other enjoys having things done for them. For example, you can run errands, pay the bills, cook a meal, and the list goes on. However, make sure that you’re not being exploited by excessively helping while the other person doesn’t return your affection.
  • Physical Touch: We’ve all held objects and touched people since we were infants because touch is one of our five senses. It’s important to experiment with touch, it can produce a type of energy you find pleasurable. Physical touch is probably the most practical and easiest one to employ; it can be done almost anywhere whether it is going for a hug or leaning in for a kiss at the park, it will spark excitement and a lot of chemistry. Personally, I would take initiative and place my hands on my loved one’s arm while we’re sitting together and having a chat. If you’ve never engaged in tangible activities with your partner then where’s the romance behind the relationship? On the other hand, there’s a fine line between touchy and overbearing; treating your partner like a rag doll or compelling them to do something such as sexual intercourse is not condoned in this scenario.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share