Comfort is, as humans, something we all crave. We want to feel secure in order to feel comfortable in new environments. Despite this, comfort is not your friend on your first day to a couple of weeks on campus. The biggest mistake that incoming college freshmen can make, a mistake I made myself, is allowing yourself to feel overly comfortable.
The first friends that I made in college were my suitemates. Originally it was the four of us and I was comfortable with that. Who else would I really need to be friends with if I was best friends with the people I lived with? Despite this, within a week we agreed that a complete friend group required more members and we looked to expand. So, I made friends with a girl that was in all my classes. Who better I thought? A good friend in every class? Sounds good to me. Eventually, her group of friends and my suitemates, and I became one big group. BAM! College friends = Complete. A group of 8 people was enough.
The problem is that I gave up even looking for other friends. It never occurred to me that even though this worked it didn’t mean it was for the best. What I gradually learned over the entirety of my freshman year was that I was wasting my college experience because I felt I needed nothing more than what I already had, I was too comfortable with where I was. That’s not the point of college, the point is to truly find yourself and others who compliment who you are. Allow yourself to be a little choosey when finding your “college friends”. High school is a time for friendships of convenience, people that you will see every school day for 12 years, your options are usually significantly more limited than a college campus. Branch out! Try everything you can! Anything that sounds remotely interesting, try it. The worst that can happen is that you lose an hour of your life. The best? You can find a new part of yourself that you never considered before that you never had the opportunity to uncover.
How would I do it differently if I had the opportunity? I would do everything I could to meet as many people as possible. You never know who your group will consist of, or where you’ll find them. Most colleges have sites that detail the clubs that can be found on campus. Make a list of the ones that sound interesting and try to make it to at least two meetings for them. The first meeting is to see if it’s even a club dedicated to something you want to invest your time into, and the second is purely for meeting others. Talk to the President, the Vice President, the Treasurer, the Social Media Coordinator, or anyone you can get your hands on. Try to feel the vibe of the people within the club. In an unexplainable way, each group of people will feel different, see what the feel of each group is. After that the next step is easy, there are only so many hours in a day, and you can only spread yourself so thin. It’s better to be able to give each thing you pick the attention it deserves. Don’t over choose or over-commit; only take on as much as your schedule and your mental health limit you to. Prioritize the groups with the most people that make you feel special and appreciated. Long term, those are the most important factors for long-term friendships. You should always feel that the group believes your presence is not just welcome but additive. Find the people that make you feel that the group wouldn’t be the same without you. Those will be the college friends you look back on later in life!
By Cameron Maurice
Cameron Maurice is a Northeastern Senior studying Business and Communications. His passions lie in Television and Movies and he hopes to work in the Entertainment Industry in the near future.
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