Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Potlucks, Picnics & Pesto Pasta

Tuesday, July 27th, 2021

My apartment–all 350 square feet of old wood floors and mostly functional appliances in the middle of Alphabet City–can comfortably fit about five people. Any more than that and it’s stuffy, crowded, bordering on claustrophobic. But we do it.We cram 10 people around the little dining room table (scored for free on the corner of 10th & 1st Ave) for dinner. We use mugs as wine glasses and we eat out of big bowls of pasta and salads and homemade pumpkin soup.

Juuuuust enough space at the table

The saving grace for a lot of this has been my roof. Most buildings in the Village have roof access and some of my favorite memories from school have taken place on top of buildings rather than inside them. The East Village is a great place for a rooftop party because the views can be pretty hard to beat (though, yes, I see you, Brooklyn). But from mine we can see the Empire State Building and the World Trade Center, we can see Long Island City and Downtown Brooklyn and also my favorite bar around the corner. Now that the weather is beautiful again, there’s nothing better than a picnic or potluck style dinner on the roof.

Rooftop dinners are our favorite tradition as friends (look at how cute we are up there!)

Potlucks are a great option for college students, because everyone can make one dish for pretty cheap. I love when friends of mine from other countries and cultures make food they grew up eating and introduce us to how they prepare and celebrate meals. I remember a couple years ago when I cooked schnitzel and hummus for everyone, one friend made vegan alfredo pasta, and another homemade empanadas. We each had a story behind our dish, and we all got to learn and enjoy the food. Cooking for people I care about and allowing them to share their food and culture with me has deepened my friendships, expanded my cultural knowledge, and taught me more about cooking than I could have imagined. Call your friends up and plan a potluck! You can choose a theme for the dishes, or just let everyone bring what they’d like. I’ll cook the pasta, she’ll bring the salad, you bring the wine!

Take your friends and food to picnic at Washington Square Park!

I have two easy, potluck-friendly dishes I want to share. They’re both things I’ve put together on my own, inspired by pasta dishes and salads my mother used to make for me. The first is a roasted butternut squash salad. Start by peeling and cubing a whole butternut squash (don’t forget to get rid of the seeds, and if you’re doing this for the first time check out this WikiHow on how to cube a squash). Dress with olive oil, salt, pepper, and garlic powder, and roast at 400०F for about 30 minutes. You can also roast whole beets (wrap in tin foil and cook on a sheet pan), or buy and cube cooked beets from the store. While the veggies are roasting, chop up a shallot and let sit in water; this cuts the bite of the raw onion. When everything is ready, toss with baby arugula and crumbled goat cheese, then top with a homemade vinaigrette or just a splash each of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Feel free to throw in anything else that looks good: sliced fennel would be delicious, or crushed walnuts or pumpkin seeds.

The other crowd favorite dish is pesto pasta. This is another great recipe to customize and it’s easy to make vegan, gluten free, dairy free, or whatever other restrictions you need. Cook your pasta to the directions on the box. While they’re cooking, heat chopped onion and garlic over olive oil with salt and pepper. From here, you can add whatever you want. My favorites are baby zucchini, kale, and diced chicken thighs, but you can add any veggies and protein you’d like. When your extras are done cooking, add your drained pasta to the same pan with pesto (homemade is always delicious, but nothing wrong with store bought). Stir until combined and serve with a sprinkle of parmesan! This is one of the easiest meals I make and a lot of my friends say it’s their favorite thing I’ve ever cooked for them.

A blurry look into my most recent potluck: pesto pasta, roasted asparagus, French mussels, and chicken in wine!

I hope these recipes inspire you to get cooking for others. And if you’re really not the cooking type, offer to bring the wine!

Dive in!

Cora Enterline is a senior at NYU studying law, ethics, and religion. She’s studied and worked in Paris and Tel Aviv, where she loved biking, traveling, dancing, and teaching English. She has a love for foreign languages, sad novels, themed dinner parties, and red wine by candlelight. This summer, follow her blog to learn easy, student-friendly recipes and find inspiration from around the world for your own dinners, picnics, and culinary adventures at home!


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Shabbat: Tel Aviv to New York

Saturday, July 10th, 2021

Shabbat has recently become an important tradition in my house. I spent the year pre-pandemic in Tel Aviv, and quickly came to love the large, family-style meals we ate every Friday. The city would shut down when the sun set, and we’d bike back from the beach to cook and drink and celebrate together.

Tel Aviv beach at sunset

I was raised Christian, but my Jewish friends and professors were thrilled to teach me about Shabbat. About six months into my year there, a friend told me I really understood the spirit when I showed up to a school Shabbat dinner with a plate of cookies and a bottle of wine to share. This is what Friday night is about for me: good food, good company, friends laughing and eating and drinking. We gave ourselves permission to forget our jobs and homework and stressors, and instead learned songs in Hebrew and talked about what had made us happy that week. Even for those of us who didn’t observe for religious reasons, these Friday night dinners became a sacred kind of space, one reserved for rest and joy and love. This is the tradition I’ve tried to bring back with me to New York.

Shabbat dinner at NYU Tel Aviv

Now each Friday I have a small group of friends over for dinner. Sometimes I bake challah, sometimes we do a potluck, sometimes we order in from our favorite falafel or Thai restaurants. My favorite meal, though, is a family-style spread of all the foods we ate in Israel. I spend the day making a spread of falafel, hummus, shawarma, and salads. We sit down around my table or gather on the rooftop and pass dishes, drink wine, talk and laugh and relax. Jewish or not, this family dinner on Fridays is such a wonderful tradition and has made it easy for all of us to keep in touch through our hectic lives in the city.

Shabbat dinner in the East Village

My go-to Shabbat meal is actually very simple and it never fails to impress. As a student on a budget I love that I can find all the ingredients at Trader Joe’s. The base of it is simple: canned chickpeas, tahini, chicken, shawarma seasoning, falafel mix, and veggies! Homemade falafel, which I do make on occasion, wins every time in a side-by-side comparison, but the falafel mix at TJ’s is delicious and the directions on the box make it a dish anyone can make. 

While the mix is settling (for about 20 minutes) I marinate diced chicken thighs in olive oil, garlic, and shawarma powder (or shawarma marinade from Whole Foods). They are about the simplest thing to sauté and the bite-size pieces are delicious thrown over hummus.

The trickiest part of this recipe is the hummus, but even that is easy to learn. I start with a can of chickpeas drained and boil them for about 30 minutes to soften them up. While this is happening, combine two tablespoons of fresh lemon juice with two or three cloves of garlic in a food processor or blender (my food processor has become a staple in my kitchen for soups, hummus, sauce, dressings, anything). Let sit for 20 minutes to cut the bite of the garlic and then mix in 1/4 cup of tahini (try TJ’s Egyptian tahini or Holyland Market on St. Marks for Israeli tahini you can make yourself). When the chickpeas are done cooking, strain and add them to the blender with 1/4 teaspoon of cumin powder and a tablespoon or two of olive oil. If it’s too thick, add cold water one tablespoon at a time until it reaches your desired texture. I’ve served this to friends of mine in and out of Israel and it’s a hit every time. 

The final bit are the toppings! My go-tos are cabbage cut into small strips, diced cucumbers, pickles, red onion, and of course, a bowl of tahini. More good options are parsley, tomatoes, spicy peppers, or anything else you want! 

Israeli food is so fun because it combines Arab cooking with ingredients brought from Jews around the world, especially from Eastern Europe. So while any Middle Eastern country has hummus and falafel (and it’s delicious everywhere you go), only in Israel would you find pickles, eggs, and schnitzel served on the side. So make it your own with other proteins and veggies! I put each of the toppings in a bowl on the table and let everyone build their own plate.

Warm some pita in your oven and let everyone get creative, sharing platters of hummus, falafel, and shawarma family style. This is great because it’s vegan and gluten-free friendly, and even picky eaters can find a few things to try. Don’t forget to pour your tahini over everything.

The assembled plate (chef’s kiss!)

Shabbat dinners have given me the perfect venue to spend time with people I love and experiment in the kitchen. Even if you’re not Jewish, try making Friday family style dinners with friends–another fun idea could be a weekly potluck (stay tuned for my favorite potluck meals on a budget). Whatever you’re cooking, the most important thing is the company. So invite your friends over–vaccinated, outdoors, socially distanced, whatever you need to feel safe–and share your food, your wine, your time, your love! Prioritising your relationships, creating these special spaces for those you care about, is what is going to maintain these relationships through undergrad and beyond. And in a city as hectic as New York we all need a fun, restful night in now and again. Shabbat shalom!


Cora Enterline is a senior at NYU studying law, ethics, and religion. She’s studied and worked in Paris and Tel Aviv, where she loved biking, traveling, dancing, and teaching English. She has a love for foreign languages, sad novels, themed dinner parties, and red wine by candlelight. This summer, follow her blog to learn easy, student-friendly recipes and find inspiration from around the world for your own dinners, picnics, and culinary adventures at home!


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Dating Etiquette across the Globe

Monday, March 8th, 2021

I’m sure you all know that things operate differently depending on factors such as culture and location. We all walk a different path in life, that’s what makes us distinctive individuals. The meaning of love and the way you express it may be perceived with disapproval or repugnance by others. All of these ideas tie into good manners, which can be applied into more than just love scenarios. You want to be viewed as a good citizen who is well-informed and educated; otherwise, people will think negatively of you and believe that you weren’t properly taught. This topic of dating etiquette is also analogous to love languages, since we exhibit affection and delineate love in different ways. Another important concept that should be enumerated is interracial dating—a controversial one indeed as it is looked down upon by those not condoning of it. When there is a romantic relationship between two people stemming from contrasting cultures, they are essentially embodying each other’s culture, customs, and family history. We’re in the year 2021 and interracial dating is not abnormal. In fact, it’s becoming more generalized especially here in the United States. The Pew Research Center found that the percentage of interracial couples living together increased from 7.4 in 2000 to 10.2 around 2016.

When witnessing how various cultures interpret love, we may initially think to ourselves “oh that’s weird” or “how is this even romantic?” The irony is that people from different backgrounds may find our own love expressions preposterous, or even disgusting. What I’m trying to say is that we all think similarly because we’re just not accustomed to foreign dating customs and our values don’t line up with theirs, and at the end of the day it’s a new experience for everyone. I can even speak from personal experience; my parents met in China and have been married for over two decades. You would believe that their marriage is healthy, right? Truth be told, I don’t see a connection or a romantic interest in either one of them. I also find it funny and peculiar that I’ve never even seen them do anything intimate like giving a quick kiss. I don’t know if people in China are embarrassed about love or they get married just for the sake of it; as a matter of fact, I can’t recall any memories of my family members demonstrating any romantic attraction, and the discussion of sex is considered taboo. Keep in mind that love is subjective and it doesn’t have to meet another person’s standards—just do what’s right for your own relationship. Who cares what the next person thinks, his or her opinion shouldn’t affect you much. Human beings are judgmental, let them make comments. You should be proud of your rendition of love.

https://lovedevani.com/dating-culture-in-brazil

Here is a list of countries and their respective dating protocols that I compiled that may leave you astounded.

Japan:

  • Although sex is not necessarily shown as taboo, public affection is not permitted.
  • First dates typically occur in a group meeting (goukon).
  • If you become the Bachelor or get stuck on a group date then I recommend kicking off the date with sweets! You can use Campus Clipper coupons like the one below for some enjoyable cookies and cupcakes. Click here to view the coupon and make sure to go to the Campus Clipper website for more savings.
  • PDA isn’t taken lightly, negatively viewed – the most you would get after a romantic date is probably a stiff hug.
  • Shy away from direct feelings & expressions, much prefer subtle signs.

France:

  • Like Japan, most first dates take place in a group setting.
  • Going on dates or seeing someone and displaying affection typically indicates that you’re committed to someone.
  • More romance in dating.
  • A good deal of PDA.
  • Serious eye contact.

India:

  • Casual dating isn’t well received.
  • End goal is marriage.
  • There is a notion that women have to always be pursued and pampered.
  • Arranged marriages still exist but take form online through dating apps, rather than the traditional way. There are apps available for Indians parents to match their children to anyone they find compatible with. 

China:

  • Actual dating schools exist for men due to the gender imbalance in China (because of the one child per family policy).
  • It is fine to call and text frequently, even if the relationship just started.
  • The Chinese take marriage quite solemnly, there’s a pressure of getting married; once you reach your 30s and you’re still single then you’re classified as a “leftover.”
  • Strays away from verbal affection due to various reasons like awkwardness and cultural traditions.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Thanksgiving: Part One

Thursday, November 26th, 2020

Celebrating gratitude seems strange this year, however, misfortune isn’t always a good reason to not give thanks. In fact, Thanksgiving was born from struggle. The holiday’s history is intertwined with the hardships of frontiersmen, Native Americans, and war. In this piece, I will observe the history of these conflicts and will argue that coming together to persevere is important. 

Most Americans are told the Thanksgiving story in elementary school. While eating caramel candies and drawing turkey hands, our loving teachers tell us that the very first Thanksgiving took place when the pilgrims and Wampanog’s feasted together at the end of the harvest season in 1621. 

There is beauty in this myth. It encourages gratitude for nourishment, and unity with our friends and family. That being said, this story leaves out many important parts of the holiday’s history. Sixteen years after the first Thanksgiving feast, the pilgrims burned a Wampanoag village and killed 500 people, (Blow). William Bradford, governor of Plymouth, reflected on this tragedy saying, “over the next 100 years, every Thanksgiving Day ordained by a Governor was in honor of the bloody victory, thanking God that the battle had been won.” Bradford made Thanksgiving synonymous with the massacre of Native Americans. 

How can we celebrate a holiday that is linked to genocide? Thanksgiving is one of the most celebrated American holidays, and yet at its core sits the uncomfortable truth of cultural destruction and prejudice. This can be seen in some of the most famous Thanksgiving art pieces:

Jennie Augusta Brownscombe, Thanksgiving at Plymouth, 1925
Jeane Leon Gerome Ferris, The First Thanksgiving, 1932

In both of these pieces, there are fewer Wampanoags, they are in the periphery, and are depicted as subservient. In reality, there were more Wampanoags that attended the feast than pilgrims and they supplied more food.  These paintings reflect prejudice and are products of the genocide. 

As I considered how to grapple with this brutality, I searched for what some Native Americans had to say on the matter. I found some great poems by Sherman Alexie, which I highly recommend. The poet also said the following, “…I guess you could say Thanksgiving is also about survival, look how strong we are,”(Turkewitz). This strength is key to the holiday. Thanksgiving is about struggle, however, it is also about hope, strength, and moving on. 

The Wampanoag genocide is one of many times Thanksgiving can be connected to war. Following the American Revolution, George Washington officiated the first official Thanksgiving on November 26th, 1789, (Columbia).  After the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln nationalized the holiday. Finally, during WW2, congress recognized Thanksgiving as a holiday that would always take place on the last Thursday of November, (Klapper).

All of these pivotal points in the establishment of Thanksgiving are closely linked to major wars. Each war weakened the country, and politicians knew that they had to keep the country united. National holidays encourage patriotism and unity, which is why establishing Thanksgiving as a national holiday was useful.  

Thanksgiving is connected to the human struggle. The pilgrims suffered a harsh winter famine before the first Thanksgiving feast, Native American’s were massacred, and people died in every war associated with the holiday. Thanksgiving has a bloody past. However, celebrating is a way to persevere. Connecting with loved ones and sharing a meal gives us the strength to carry on. 

We need strength this Thanksgiving. There is a pandemic, a dramatic political season, and civil unrest. It hasn’t been easy, but it never has been. We need to persist–and while you may not be able to return home for the holidays, I think the best way to find peace is to connect with loved ones.  Give someone a call, send a text, and remember you aren’t alone!

Takeaways: 

1. Struggle. Thanksgiving is a day linked to struggle. This is evident by its connection to the pilgrims, Native Americans, and war. 

2. Hope. Coming together and sharing food makes moving on from hardships easier. 

3. Friends and Family. Give your loved ones a call.

4. Activities. Check out these festive poems I found. If you feel like watching some TV, I found a great list of classic Thanksgiving episodes. For movies, check out this link. Finally, here’s a Spotify playlist I’ve had going all morning.  


Sources:

Blow, Charles. “The Horrible History of Thanksgiving.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 27 Nov. 2019,

Klapper-Lehman, Sarah, and Simon J. Bronner. “Thanksgiving.” Encyclopedia of American Studies, edited by Simon Bronner, Johns Hopkins University Press, 1st edition, 2018. Credo Reference

“Thanksgiving Day.” The Columbia Encyclopedia, Paul Lagasse, and Columbia University, Columbia University Press, 8th edition, 2018. Credo Reference.

Turkewitz, Julie. “Thanksgiving for Native Americans: Four Voices on a Complicated Holiday.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 23 Nov. 2017.


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By: Erin Zubarik 

Hello! My name is Erin Zubarik and I am a junior at New York University majoring in Global Liberal Studies and minoring in Chinese and Italian. Over the last few years I have been lucky enough to study abroad in Florence and Beijing, where I enhanced my language skills and became acquainted with lovely people. This fall I am primarily holed up in my apartment taking online classes, and playing with my hamster Pork Chop. I am very excited to share my cooking and relationships series this fall on Campus Clipper! 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The Power of Listening

Wednesday, November 18th, 2020

The world continues to change daily and rapidly, it is evolving everyday. As human beings we are shaping our own evolution, constantly changing our present and future. Through all of these advancements and technological improvements, our lives are often facilitated and our surroundings are much noisier. It can be difficult to maintain the practice of listening, and lose these skills. If we lose the art of listening, then we also lose or diminish our communication skills, which can affect our personal and professional life. It is important to be an effective listener, and to pay attention to the world as a whole.

In today’s society, we’ve grown more impatient and more appreciative of effortless things. Amazon, the innovative company that has shifted the e-commerce industry, offers a “Prime membership” that enables you to easily receive a package within a day or two, people are willing to pay more for a faster delivery service. Even when it comes to listening it is easy to daze off or filter the information we choose to retain. Especially when we are all busy fulfilling our daily duties and responsibilities, it is often convenient to keep everything short and straightforward rather than putting in the effort to listen and empathize with the speaker. 

By the early 1900’s a video camera was invented by John Logie Baird, who knew that camera’s would turn the world upside down (BBC, 29 September 2015). Nowadays, it is very easy to record everything. It is the beauty of being able to capture and relive everything taken on a camera lens. As a student myself, I rely on screenshots or photos of any class notes to help capture the information I couldn’t carefully listen to. However, it affects our listening skills because we no longer feel the need to be attentive and listen as recording content is available during any day or time. We are focusing on what these technological advancements can do for us versus the benefits that being an effective listener can bring to our development. 

We’ve become immersed in our own world, that most of the time our headphones are the answer to escaping our reality. It’s made us lose the connections amongst others, and we’ve also lost the ability to connect through sharing our ideas, experiences, and aspirations with one another. Conversation is no longer prominent if headphones serve as a refuge. Furthermore, it is negatively impacting the ability to be physically present and embrace the sounds of life. 

Being an effective listener is a gift that offers more than hearing the bird chips or our morning alarms, it is a set of skills that can bring prosperity, strengthen relationships and help us be more comprehensive in such a hectic world. Being a good listener also allows us to listen to ourselves, it gives us the opportunity to listen to our mind, body, and soul for a road to happiness. Establish wellness with yourself to be able to listen and care for others first. The act of caring is just as powerful as listening to your significant other, express themselves.

How to make yourself a priority (self-care):

Bera, Maggie “10 Easy Self Care Tips For Actors” https://www.actoraesthetic.com/blog/self-care. Accessed 12 November 2020.
  • Turn off your phone. Most of the time the first thing you do as soon as you wake up in the morning is check your phone. Now you’ll have to “unplug” to distress from your emails, notifications and buzzing that only make you overwhelmed. Try to set a schedule for yourself. For example, stay off your phone thirty minutes prior to bed or manage your screen time on the screen time tab in your settings for most iPhone users. If necessary, put your phone on airplane mode, focus on breathing and take a break!
  • Treat yourself to dinner. Food can be classified as an event, and we can make it memorable if we make it. During a stressful moment food can truly be our best friend, we don’t have to make dinner a “friends night” it can be a night to treat your cravings and watch Netflix, treasuring your own company. 

How to take care of others:

Uknown, “Self Care takes a Community, say mental health experts” https://www.folio.ca/self-care-takes-a-community-say-mental-health-experts/. Accessed 12 November 2020.
  • Reach out. Most of the time we aren’t aware of what our friends or next-door neighbors are going through, ask the person next to you “are you okay?”. Reassure them that you’re there to listen, stay connected with your friends and family.
  • Be present. Often many may experience financial problems, however, being present for someone doesn’t always necessarily mean being there financially. It could also mean helping someone study for their test, encouraging someone to achieve their goals, celebrating a birthday, or even offering them a ride home are all acts of care. 

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By: Yadira Tellez

Yadira is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Technology, majoring in Fashion Business Management and minoring in English literature. She’s worked in retail and has had the opportunity to work behind the scenes during NYFW. Her dream is to be a Fashion Stylist but enjoys creative writing to relieve stress and express her mind.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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You are Important Too

Thursday, August 15th, 2019

You Are Important Too

I have come a long way in the past year. I have healed, learned, and I have knocked down most of my insecurities. Since my “non-relationship” ended a little over a year ago, I have taken every step to become the person I really want to be. I love myself for who I am and I am finally okay with being single. For the longest time, all I wanted was a boyfriend; someone to love me the way my friends’ boyfriends loved them. I questioned why I was one of very few of my friends who had never been in a serious relationship. I convinced myself that there was something wrong with me and I began to overthink every situation. Any connection I had with someone, I would become so excited and in the end, I would try and force something that wasn’t there. Along with going for the wrong guys, the fact that I was always looking for someone is what would ultimately ruin any situation I would get into. I have a pattern of letting guys lead me on even though I was aware of multiple red flags. I was just happy to get attention from someone because it reassured me that there wasn’t anything wrong with me. After continuously accepting the attention from people I shouldn’t have, I began to feel unwanted. Even though I knew guys wanted me, I believed that they wanted me for the wrong reasons and I would be self destructive with every connection. I pushed people away without realizing it. 

About a month after fully cutting ties with the guy from sophomore year, I began casually seeing someone. It was refreshing and exciting. He seemed excited about me and I for sure was excited about him. We talked every moment we could. And for once, I wasn’t initiating it. I felt like he wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see him. Being around him would automatically put me in a better mood. The way he treated me was such a drastic change from my past and I believe that is why I felt so strongly so fast. That was the issue, we moved way too fast. We had no idea what was actually going on but all we knew as that we enjoyed each other’s company. As time went on, he stopped calling and texting me as much as he normally would. He stopped trying to see me as often. It was clear that he just wasn’t interested in pursuing me anymore. After basically ghosting me, I decided to text him and end whatever we had. He responded by telling me that he was just too busy and had to focus on his career; again, that is 100% an understandable excuse, but there were so many different ways to handle the situation that would have caused less pain. From the beginning, he was not clear about what his intentions were; but neither was I. In the end, it just was not the right timing for either of us and it didn’t work out. He was focusing on his career and himself and I’ve realized that I didn’t love myself the way I do now. I wanted it to work so badly that I ignored the signs again. I find myself still caring about him because that is just who I am. Once I care about someone, I never stop. But I am finally at a point in my life where I am okay with being alone and I have realized that if it is meant to be then maybe one day it will work out, but that does not mean that I am going to wait around for him. I am happy where I am in life and if someone else comes along, I will not hold back. 

Fast forwarding to right now, I am so content. I started focusing on bettering my health, I began taking dance classes again — which is the one thing that can change my mood in a second — and I realized that there is nothing wrong with who I am. I am who I am and I’m confident about that. This past year, I studied abroad and learned that there is so much more to experience. I have so many years left to find someone who loves me for me and right now it’s okay to be single. Since learning to love myself, I have learned to casually date. I’ve met so many new people this summer and have been pursued by a few. Being asked on dates has been shocking to me. My generation is definitely not known for getting into relationships but going on a few dates this summer has shown me that there are genuine people out there. I just have to be open to letting new people in. Again, this is not what I am focusing on but it has helped me get to a good place. 

Don’t let people who aren’t ready for you get under your skin. It is not worth the time thinking about someone who doesn’t think about you. Think about yourself; make sure you are happy with who you are and when you are ready, put yourself out there. For all you know, you could meet someone out of the blue who could potentially surprise you. Love yourself, endlessly. 


By Hannah Sternberg

Hannah is a rising Senior at James Madison University majoring in the School of Media Arts and Design with a concentration of Broadcast Journalism. She works for her schools weekly newscast called Breeze TV as a reporter in training and this year will become a full time reporter. Her dream is to become a reporter but she also enjoys the entertainment production industry. One of her favorite things to do to relieve stress is dancing. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Love, or Lust?

Saturday, August 10th, 2019

For the longest time I thought I loved him. I thought I loved this person who treated me as if I was some toy he could play with whenever it pleased him. I let him treat me this way for a majority of our “non-relationship.” I was aware of everything he was doing but I continued to go back to him. I am not blaming myself for how he treated me. In the moment I thought I loved him, when it is clear that it was fully lust. I will admit, that even in those moments when we “weren’t together” — if we can even call it that — and I would daydream about the good times we shared, I mostly thought about sleeping with him. As hard as it is to hear from even myself, I craved him for one reason and one reason only: sex. It took me about a full year to recognize that all my feelings I had felt towards him, were completely and utterly lust. Yes I cared about him and deep down I will always care about him because that is just who I am. But as I sit here and think about the time we spent together sophomore year, I realize that there was never any real substance to our conversations; they consisted of flirting and bantering back and forth; they consisted of me expressing my feelings and fighting with him because he clearly didn’t feel the same but pretended to. At the time, it was entertaining and fun and he was all I thought about. The lust blinded me. It is not love when you have to defend someone’s actions to your friends; it is not love when you feel guilty even seeing him — having to hide it from everyone you know; and it is not love when you have to question whether or not the connection you have with him is real. 

No one should blame themselves in a situation like this. He was a liar and a manipulator and I fell for it. He took advantage of my feelings and didn’t have a problem with it. Yes he was cruel and unfair, but I fell in lust with him and that was a huge factor in the demise of our “non-relationship.” I had never felt this type of easy going, comfortable connection with anyone else before. The way he smiled at me, the way he laughed with me, and the way he cuddled me was different. I’m sure now, that he acted this way with every girl he was with but I convinced myself that he treated me differently. He would tell me that I’m different. He would tell me that he cared about me a lot — and I am sure that was partly true. For someone to string another person along throughout a seven month period and not care for the other person at all seems inhumane to me. So I do believe he cared for me; but I just believe he did not know what to do with that. He was not in a place to accept the feelings he was having and frankly, neither was I. 


By Hannah Sternberg

Hannah is a rising Senior at James Madison University majoring in the School of Media Arts and Design with a concentration of Broadcast Journalism. She works for her schools weekly newscast called Breeze TV as a reporter in training and this year will become a full time reporter. Her dream is to become a reporter but she also enjoys the entertainment production industry. One of her favorite things to do to relieve stress is dancing. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Never Lose Yourself in Someone Else

Monday, July 29th, 2019

For the longest time, I didn’t respect myself. I lied to myself and used distractions to convince myself I was okay. It has taken me a long time to admit to all this, but I am at a point in my life where I am finally comfortable with myself. I learned to love myself, and I know what I deserve. I did not deserve what the second boy put me through sophomore year, but I want to admit that I made many mistakes during that time as well. I wonder what would have happened if I chose a different path; but you cannot change the past, only the future. 

My “non-relationship” was one of the most complicated situations I have ever been in.  It was pretty similar to my situation freshman year where I caught feelings for the guy and he took advantage of that. Well, that’s exactly what this second guy did to me sophomore year. After the first night we hooked up, I was already attached. I loved the way he laughed with me, I loved the way he kissed me, I loved the way he held me, and I loved the way we slept together. At the time, I was looking for attention from a guy and a boyfriend and I believe that is why I became attached so quickly. I felt such a strong connection after the first night and the morning after that, I had already decided I wanted to see him again. So me being confident, I texted him. And I was delighted to find out that he wanted to hangout again as well. Seeing his name pop up on my phone screen gave me butterflies. He made me excited; a feeling that I hadn’t experienced with a boy in a while. From the very beginning I got ahead of myself. But there was a red flag from day one that I ignored. In the beginning, he only texted me after nights out, and I always went. In my head I felt special that he was texting me and not bringing someone else home those nights because that meant he was thinking about me. This went on for the first month of us hooking up; and then we started hanging out during the week as well. And even then I will admit, I initiated most of it. 

The more we hung-out, the more attached I became; not only to him but to his friends. Since I was going over to his house a lot, his roommates became some of my best friends. I tend to have a lot of guy friends because growing up I was so used to being around guys my age due to having a twin brother. It sorta made me feel more at home going over to their house. As time went on though, we started fighting more. This was because I knew he was still hooking up with other girls when I wasn’t there and that killed me. He had already told me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship multiple times, but the way he acted in person with me made me think the opposite. It always felt like we were actually together when we hung out. He wasn’t really afraid of showing PDA in front of his friends as if I was his. That made me feel special. 

December eventually rolled around with winter break tagging along. He lived in Virginia and I lived in New York, so I was anxious that he would use that as an excuse to stop talking. But break came around and to my surprise he started facetime me every few nights. We would talk on the phone for hours late into the night about basically nothing. But it made me happy that he thought about me; that is until I found out that every time he FaceTimed me, he was on Xanax and drunk. 

At the end of the break, I visited my roommate in Northern Virginia because we went to a concert in D.C. He lived 15 minutes from my roommate so I ended up seeing him one night. Of course when I saw him though he wasn’t sober. He told me that him and his friends had just done cocaine. When he told me I was upset. I just never understood why he always had to be on some type of drug to have fun. But again, I just ignored it because I was receiving the validation I thought I needed by him wanting to see me. At the end of the night we were alone talking in his car and he started to have a mini panic attack from the amount of cocaine that he had done. I sat there with him and calmed him down. And then we started talking and of course I brought up “us.” I asked him if I meant anything to him; I asked him if he liked me the way I liked him. He said yes to everything and he told me he cared about me. In my head I believed him because he spent the break talking to me and even saw me during it. To me, that meant everything. 

When we got back to school and spring semester began, nothing had changed. We were hanging out when we could and I was sleeping there most weekends. Then I started to become really upset. I knew he was sleeping with other people because he had told me he would be the second time we hung out; I felt so naive. Every time I would bring up the idea of actually being together he would shut it down completely and say something to make me feel like what he was doing was okay. His manipulative words worked well on me and he knew that. There were a few weeks at a time where I would cut him off after either fighting with him or watching him kiss other girls and during those weeks I would hook up with other people. When I was living through it, in my head it was never out of spite. I was having fun just like he was. But when I would start sleeping over his house again, I would always start to feel the guilt. But why? He never seemed to care about my actions even though he knew about them. However, I still felt uneasy about hooking up with other people. And I think it was because of how often I thought about him. It was such a complicated situation because I knew he never felt bad about getting with other people when I did. In the end I was never truly happy. He was all I wanted.

As the months went on, my cravings for him got stronger and I found myself thinking about him and only him. After another three weeks of cutting him off, I let him back in. There was one week in particular where I felt like things were actually working out. He had texted me saying how much he missed me and he wanted to see me. I was out and drunk and of course gave in. I went over to his house. We talked and he told me he didn’t know why, but he wanted to see me and he missed me. He didn’t like that I hadn’t spoken to him for those three weeks. 

He pulled me in and kissed me but I stopped him at first. I told him that I couldn’t keep going through this same cycle. With tears in my eyes, I explained to him that my feelings for him were too strong and I couldn’t deal with him not committing to me. We kept going back and forth but eventually I couldn’t help myself and I continued kissing him. As we would kiss, he would pause every few minutes and say “fuck.”  He did this about three times and every time I asked why he kept saying this and he would respond by kissing me more. I assumed that he was realizing that he was actually catching feelings for me because that is how he made it seem. This “non-relationship” finally felt like it was going somewhere.

That week was amazing. I slept over three days in a row and it had felt like maybe something had changed in him. The weekend came along and that Friday night my sorority and his fraternity were having a party together. His friends and my friends drank together before the party at one of his friends houses. At this pregame, he looked at me and said, “promise you won’t be mad,” and of course I responded with why would I be mad, and he said, “because I took a little bit of Xanax.” Right then and there I knew the night would be a terrible one; I felt it in my gut. Everytime he did this drug and drank with it he turned into a different person; he treated me terribly, and of course I was right. We got to the party and I immediately saw him kissing girls in my sorority—literally directly in front of my face like he didn’t even know I was there. In reality, he didn’t actually know because of course he was blacked out, but that was not an excuse anymore. I was so upset, but I still wanted to have a good night so I kept my distance from him. I was talking and dancing with his roommates because they were my friends too. I was having fun trying to ignore it.

Eventually they wanted to leave and go back to their house to hangout and they asked me if I wanted to come. I went because in my head I had slept there the past three nights so what is the big deal if I went back with his roommates. We left without him because we couldn’t find him so we all assumed he left. As I was hanging out with his roommates, he walked in, and right behind him was another girl. Now I know he didn’t know I was there, but it still felt like I had the right to be. The second he saw me he started texting me saying he’s sorry. He stared at me not knowing what to do and I could clearly tell how messed up he was. I was in shock; I just sat there on the bed staring across the room. I froze and simply didn’t know what to do. I was so angry with him that I wasn’t even upset. I was just so mad. You would think he would have wanted to talk to me but instead, he left the room and went into his own with the girl. 

At the point I was so upset. I cried to his roommate about it and he comforted me. His roommate and I had become really good friends because we also had a class together. We were both drunk and talking and then out of nowhere he kissed me. In that moment I was so vulnerable and insecure that the attention from his roommate made me feel amazing in the moment. We kept kissing but I slowly stopped it and we just went to bed. I left early the next morning feeling so ashamed. This was not the type of person I am. I knew what I had done was so wrong. He had me do something I never thought I would do. I betrayed him just like he betrayed me. That is not okay. That is not how a relationship works. But I can’t even call it a relationship since we were never committed to each other and he clearly brought out the worst side of me. 

He just laughed the whole night off. He acted like he didn’t care and that made me even more upset. I later found out that he knew everything I had done even during the times we weren’t talking. One night we had a terrible fight that ended it all. He listed everything I had done even when we weren’t talking. The whole year he acted like he cared about nothing and that everything was okay. But in the end he did care. He manipulated me into thinking that everything I did made him not want to date me; in reality, he just wasn’t ready to commit and led me to do these things. He slut shamed me and said that it was not okay for me to be doing the same thing he was doing. He was the largest hypocrite I had ever met and in that moment I realized there was truly nothing about him that I desired out of a boyfriend. The way he thought about girls was not okay. And during this fight, I finally had closure. I came to the realization that I didn’t deserve this. No one deserves to be treated this way. 

Single women are free to do whatever they want to do. If a woman wants to have a one night stand, there is nothing wrong with that; just like there is nothing wrong with men having one night stands. I want to talk about this double standard that women can’t enjoy sex just as much as men do. Men can have copious amounts of it but when a woman has sex with two or three men in a short time period, she’s a hoe. We’re taught that we’re not allowed to like sex and it’s promiscuous to do so so then we begin to internalize that and feel bad about ourselves afterwards. This just is not the truth. If you are a single women and enjoy sex, do not feel bad about having it. It is a natural human desire and if men can have a lot of it so can women. 

I let myself be treated this way because I wanted a boyfriend so badly that it blinded me. I thought because I had been single my whole life that something was wrong with me and finding someone would give me the validation I needed. I even thought I loved this person. But it is so clear now that it was all lust. I let the lust blind me and change me into a person that I did not recognize. Something had to change. And after that night, I began the very long process of getting over him, moving on and finding myself again. Never lose yourself in someone else because who you are is just as important. 

 


By Hannah Sternberg

Hannah is a rising Senior at James Madison University majoring in the School of Media Arts and Design with a concentration of Broadcast Journalism. She works for her schools weekly newscast called Breeze TV as a reporter in training and this year will become a full time reporter. Her dream is to become a reporter but she also enjoys the entertainment production industry. One of her favorite things to do to relieve stress is dancing. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Keep Your Heart Open

Wednesday, July 24th, 2019

I’ve never been with a non “frat boy”. That is honestly kind of scary to admit; and clearly I have a type. Up until this point I have only been attracted to the type of guy that I knew would hurt me. Even in high school, the one guy who I liked throughout all four years ended up being in a frat when he got to college. I have tried for years to go for nice guys who would obviously treat me better than the ones in the past, but for some reason I never have that initial attraction. I am attracted to confident guys and I think some of these “nice boys” tend to be more on the shy side. Considering I have been through heartbreak despite never being in a long term committed relationship, shows how horrible my type is. Again, it suggests that “frat boys” are not the best type of guy to go for if you are looking for more than just a hookup.

I want to give myself the option to be treated the right way. I want to experience what it feels like to be cared about as much as I care about a person. So to try and change my type, I wanted to learn more about non frat guys and how they treat girls; I interviewed someone who is not in a frat. I was not surprised to find that his answers were completely opposite from the frat boys. I think it’s important for me to admit that in the past I have cared so much about how the guy looks. Physical attraction has always been super important to me. But I believe that is why I have had so much trouble in the boy department. I think that maybe that deep down this is me self sabotaging possible connections. After so long of being single and being hurt I think deep down I am scared to let myself be happy. There have been guys in the past who have pursued me and I wouldn’t even give them a chance simply because I wasn’t initially attracted to them. I believe that society has shaped what “attractive” is supposed to be through the media and created these conceptions that someone must be attractive for us to date them. I won’t lie, I do sometimes base on my attraction to a guy on if my friends or other people think he is hot as well. And again, that brings it back to the media ingraining this image of what attractive people should look like. I have recently learned that it is not at all important what other people think; what is important is if that person makes you happy and that is all. I still believe that aspect of a relationship is important but I also believe that I need to be more open to different types of men. If I give certain people a chance that I would not have in the past, who knows, maybe I will find a true connection with someone. The connection is what lasts. In reality, the person marry will not be as attractive when you grow old, so it’s important that you have a string connection.  

I asked this non frat boy the same questions I asked the “frat boys” so that I can get a clear understanding of these two types of men. When I asked him what type of girl he looks for, he responded by explaining that he doesn’t have any specific features that he looks for in a woman. He said, “for me, personality makes a much bigger difference in finding someone attractive. I’m into people who are intelligent, don’t take themselves too seriously, constantly joke around, and are level-headed. Being able to have an open dialogue and talk through any problems that arise between us is something that’s extremely important to me.” When comparing this response to the past responses I got, I was more surprised than I thought I would be. I knew they would be different but it is already so clear that this type of guy is someone who doesn’t only think about himself. He is someone who clearly cares about others and he understands the importance of a connection. This is something that I realized I struggled with in my past “relationships.” I often felt that the connection I had with a person was so strong and always wanted more than I was getting; because of this I would force situations that weren’t ready to go further. I always assumed the guy was feeling the same strong connection. Although some of these guys I was with might have had some type of feelings for me, I am learning now that I exaggerated and overthought everything they would say to me and convinced myself it meant way more than it did. This is where I would run into problems. I would become attached and dreamt about being with this person; those dreams turned into daydreaming, and those thoughts would linger in my head all day long. It became an obsession that I am not proud of but it is the truth. I would think up these circumstances where me and this person would be together, we would be on a date smiling and laughing and kissing. I would think about him surprising me and coming to my house unannounced with flowers. I pretty much imagined a whole relationship in my mind that did not exist. This caused me to expect so much out of someone who wasn’t even ready hook up with me exclusively, let alone date me. 

I have accepted the mistakes I have made, however the reason it got to that point was the result of a frat boy mistreating and leading me on. When I asked this non frat guy what it took for him to commit to someone, he responded with, “I’m always a little scared to fully commit to a relationship. Not because I want the freedom to be with other people, but because gaining that title is a large undertaking if you’re not totally sure. Being someone’s boyfriend is a lot different than hooking up or casually dating them, and you have to be ready for the expectations that come with that. If I commit, it’s usually when I feel very comfortable with someone, at the point in the relationship where I’m still totally enamored, and would be hurt if I saw them with anyone else.” It is clear that a person like this would not lie and lead someone on. If he is going to commit to someone he isn’t going to lie about his feelings because he wants the girl to be honest with him. If there is a real and true connection then it is clear that he will go for it. I then asked him if he enjoyed hooking up with multiple girls. He explained that making even a small connection with someone makes hooking-up way more enjoyable and because of that, finding as many partners as possible never really appealed to him. He isn’t like the “frat boys” in this way at all. He doesn’t have that drive to become an alpha male and he doesn’t have the need to prove himself to anyone. All he cares about is a genuine connection. Of course casual sex can be fun, even I will admit that; but there comes a point when you realize, sex with someone where the connection is mutual can mean so much more. 

The last question I asked him was if he ever thinks about the girls feelings before his own. He responded with this, “While I definitely want to make sure I’m doing what’s right for me, the last thing I want to do is hurt someone’s feelings. I try to be empathetic, and no matter what, I’m always open to talking things out. So far, It’s worked out pretty well. I almost never end on bad terms with people I’ve been with, and I’m still close friends with a lot of girls despite our history. I’m willing to make compromises if it means I can avoid hurting someone I care about. I just try to imagine how the same situation would feel if the roles were reversed, and act accordingly.” When I heard this, all I could do was smile. It was so refreshing to hear that there are actually men out there like this who care about us girls. He gave me hope to keep my heart open. I always wondered if the guys I was with thought about how they would feel if I did the things they did to me. I’m sure the ones I was with did not. But it warms my heart to know that there are guys who do and I cannot wait to find that person who feels this way about me. 

 


By Hannah Sternberg

Hannah is a rising Senior at James Madison University majoring in the School of Media Arts and Design with a concentration of Broadcast Journalism. She works for her schools weekly newscast called Breeze TV as a reporter in training and this year will become a full time reporter. Her dream is to become a reporter but she also enjoys the entertainment production industry. One of her favorite things to do to relieve stress is dancing. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The “Frat Boy”

Wednesday, July 17th, 2019

I want to talk about something that every college girl should be hyper aware of. I am sure most of you have heard the term “frat boy,” but I aim to dig a little deeper. I want to explain exactly what the stereotype of “frat boy” is; and how that stereotype is sometimes right on point. If you are trying to find a boyfriend, a “frat star” is definitely not the type of guy you should be looking for. Now, of course I know we cannot generalize and say that every boy in a frat acts the same. But I am simply explaining this situation from my experience. I have interviewed two guys that are in a fraternity in order to get more insight on how they think about things. 

Before talking about what I learned from these “frat boys,” I want to explain my experience with them. Since the minute I entered college I was a sorority girl, so I immediately became surrounded by fraternity guys. As a freshman, of course I did not know what was best for me and I got involved with a guy who had just become a pledge to a fraternity at my school. For those of you who don’t know, most college boys just want to have fun and hook up with as many girls as possible so that they can prove they are the alpha male to their frat brothers; it seems to be a pride thing from experience. I learned this later on in my college career but it was confirmed by a fraternity brother at JMU whom I interviewed. He explained that getting into college most guys do not have a romantic relationship on their mind. I learned this after becoming attached to two different frat boys my freshman year and being let down. And of course we can’t forget my 7 month “non-relationship” that was indeed with a frat boy. 

During my freshman year, I was consistently with a frat boy in my dorm and just like I let my sophomore year boy take advantage of my feelings, this freshman boy pretended to care as well, and that is just the honest truth. We would go out and the nights he wanted me he got me and the nights I saw him kissing other girls, he didn’t remember because of how much alcohol had been consumed. As I write this, I realize how similar this situation sounds to my situation from sophomore year. Apparently I have a type; and that type is a frat boy player. As a result of this, I was hurt many times by frat boys which is of course why I have such a negative outlook towards them. To find out what goes on in their minds, I interviewed two fraternity brothers who attend different schools to see if they think similarly. 

I asked them what their type of girl is and one responded with, “honestly hot, I’ll settle for attractive and if I’m drunk enough, then whatever.”  The second boy responded with, “a girl that is down for basically anything.” Again, we cannot generalize and say that every frat guy thinks this way, but I will say these responses alone may show the player mindset of a “frat boy.”

I then asked them, “if you had the chance to tell a girl how to pursue you and become your girlfriend what would you tell them to do?” Instead of giving me a straight answer, the guys explained what goes through a frat guys head when it comes to commitment and relationships. One explained that the majority of college guys want to stay single for their own selfish reasons. They both explained that guys are way less in touch with their emotions and when they might feel themselves liking a girl, they will talk themselves out of it because they are either not mature enough or simply not ready to dedicate the time to one person. They both shared that they are scared of commitment and when I asked why, neither had an actual answer. 

When trying to figure out why these frat guys really don’t like commitment or relationships, I asked if they believed being in a frat affects the way they treat girls and both immediately agreed that it did. One said, “being in a frat makes sex seem way more casual and transactional, but it should technically be that way in college. It can definitely poison your view of how an interaction should go with a girl.” He explained that seeing your fraternity brothers hooking up with multiple girls each weekend makes you think that this is the right way to act. It almost makes you want to act that way so that you can prove yourself and stand out in the fraternity. I’ve learned that a lot of this “frat boy” stereotype comes from pride and wanting to fit in. It is also based on pleasure, of course and a lot of the times these boys genuinely only think about themselves when they do things. I asked if they ever think about the girls feelings when they hook up with someone else and they explained that guys will pretty much disassociate the feelings of the girl because in their minds, the girl is just being crazy when they ask to hangout more than a few times. They basically said that they are just not mature enough or ready for a relationship and explained that, “honestly I am focused on myself and my career and don’t wanna worry about another person before I have to.” Of course this response sounds corrupt, but that just exemplifies the way many frat boys think and explains why they treat girls the way they do. One of them even thought that saying something to a girl in the moment to make them happy, is worth the girl being hurt later on when they realize these words were a lie. They thought that this temporary happiness was enough; I clearly explained why that thought process was morally incorrect. 

When it comes down to it, again I cannot say that every frat boy acts in this manner, but I can definitely say that fraternities have an effect on the way a guy treats a girl throughout college. Many fraternities set the precedent, exemplify, and encourage this type of behavior towards girls. When the real world hits, and it isn’t that easy to “get a girl” anymore, us women will be in control and these “frat boys” will learn that treating girls this way does not work.  If these boys in fraternities continue to act immaturely and refuse to acknowledge their own flaws, they will most likely find themselves alone. 

 


 

By Hannah Sternberg

Hannah is a rising Senior at James Madison University majoring in the School of Media Arts and Design with a concentration of Broadcast Journalism. She works for her schools weekly newscast called Breeze TV as a reporter in training and this year will become a full time reporter. Her dream is to become a reporter but she also enjoys the entertainment production industry. One of her favorite things to do to relieve stress is dancing. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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