Posts Tagged ‘independence’

Where to Begin? Navigating Relationships of All Kinds in College

Thursday, June 16th, 2022

So, August is coming to an end, you’re freshly graduated from high school, and you’re getting ready to start this new chapter of your life that everyone’s been hyping up for as long as you can remember: college. You are probably feeling a mixture of emotions about the journey, from excitement to nervousness, to everything else in between. You want to be as prepared as you possibly can, but you don’t know where to start. After all, you’re going to be living on your own independently, likely for the first time in your life.

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As a current college student who was once this excited and nervous freshman, I think most college students tend to over and under-focus on certain parts of the college process. For example, lots of students focus on the small, logistical parts of independent living. A lot of time and energy is spent on making sure that you brought enough clothes, or that you have the right room decorations to make your room as comfortable as possible. While these things are important, missing one pair of shoes at home is not going to determine the success or failure of your semester. The biggest misconception that college students seem to have involves what living independently really means. Most students seem to think it just means “living by yourself,” but this is not true. If you think about an average high schooler’s routine, all of it can be done without the help of others. Like clockwork, you wake up, go to school, do any after-school activities you may have, get home to have some dinner, do your homework, and then go to sleep. Most of these activities don’t require anyone else but YOU. In that way, college students are already more independent than they think they are, so it’s not just about operating alone. Instead, living on your own means that the structure you took for granted for eighteen years is entirely upended. No one is going to make your dinner when you get home, yell at you for not getting to practice on time, or remind you to finish your schoolwork if you have missing assignments. Living independently is, fundamentally, about you creating a structure for yourself, and sticking to it. 

When this structure that has been in place your whole life is suddenly removed, your life starts to change in unexpected ways. While it’s easier to change the times that you wake up, eat meals, and go to sleep every day, some things are less obvious and even harder to change. One of these changes, perhaps the most important one, lies in your relationships with others. In high school, relationships with your family, friends, and teachers, while potentially challenging, are made very easy to navigate by the time structures created for you. However in college, professors are not available every hour of the school day, and you only see your classmates for a fraction of the time during the week. People are organizing their own clubs and hosting their own parties. This isn’t even mentioning your parents or your old friends which you may have left behind when moving across the country. Simply put, relationships in the real world are not easy, and college is no exception. Much like many things in your childhood, forming and maintaining relationships were likely made easier for you by the structure given to you by others. Forming new and maintaining old relationships can be very difficult if you don’t know what you’re doing. Luckily for you, I’m more than happy to give a few pointers. 

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I’ve had a college experience, starting with a very typical first semester before heading home for a semester online due to COVID-19. After a year filled with COVID restrictions, things started to return to normal by my junior year. In my experience, between masks and Zoom meetings, college as a whole often felt uniquely disconnected and impersonal. And in times like those of a pandemic, personal relationships were more important than ever. Whether you go to Harvard or Cape Cod Community College, any college graduate will tell you that it’s not about the things you do in these four years, it’s about who you do it with. With that in mind, I’m here to share some of my own experiences with you so that your college relationships are the best that they can be, extending beyond the four short years you are given at college. 

Speaking of new beginnings, one of the best things to do when moving to a new place at any point in your life is finding a good place to eat. Smash Burger has a great selection of burgers and shakes for a great night out exploring Boston or for ordering in and sharing with your new college friends. You can get 15% off your order using the coupon below.

By: Lucas Pratt

Lucas Pratt is a senior at Boston College studying Philosophy, English, and Chinese. He enjoys games of all kinds, Dungeons and Dragons, and getting around to finishing the copy of Dune that’s been sitting on his nightstand for months on end. Lucas has decided that the words “employable majors” don’t mean anything to him, and is eagerly seeing where the world takes him in the future.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet✎ EditSign and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services. At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.


The History Behind Self-Love

Tuesday, February 28th, 2017

love of self.

you belong to you

sometimes your soulmate

is yourself

and everything

you’ve been searching for

can be found

deep within your soul”

– R.H. Sin


Image Credit:

Image Credit:

It’s February, and love is in the air, but often times what people forget or completely overlook, is the idea of self-love and how important it is to love ourselves. Each one of us has something unique within us, something that is not to be wasted and without utilizing those unique and special qualities that make us individuals, we are, in fact, doing those around us a disservice. Maybe you’ve heard this before, but truly believing it and feeling it is crucial to our well-being.

The journey of self-love is one that has always sat in the back of my mind, but it has more recently come to the forefront to play a large role in my life. I was raised to be strong and independent, to work hard to achieve my goals and to obtain a life where I don’t have to, or even want to, rely on anyone else for anything, whether it be physical or emotional. This ideal has always played a huge part in my life, and it is probably why the ease of falling in love caught me off guard, yet why I also made decisions that were best for me even when I was in a relationship that I thought was bulletproof. Maybe this is a bit of an oxymoron, but I was so invested in my relationship, while also focusing on my own agenda, such as: doing well in school, studying abroad, and planning my upcoming job search and career. Naturally, when my three-year relationship came to an end against my will four months ago, I was at a complete loss.

I realized that while I always had the mentality of an independent, Chanelle and not Chanelle and her significant other, and that I could do anything I set my mind to, I had to actually feel this independence again and move forward as the dynamic of my life, my daily routine and emotional state, all changed. This felt like the most difficult obstacle I had ever needed to overcome, but it didn’t take me too long to realize that I am an array of amazing qualities and I do not need to be accepted or loved by anyone who does not appreciate all of the amazing elements that make me who I am. And the same goes for you.

Nathaniel Branden Image Credit:

Nathaniel Branden
Image Credit:

So began my true journey of self-love. As a term, “self-esteem” was first introduced by William James in 1890. It is one of the oldest concepts in psychology. I personally identify more with Nathaniel Branden’s definition from 1969, stating that self-esteem is a relationship between one’s competence and one’s worthiness. Branden is considered the father of the self-esteem movement, and this definition sees self-esteem as the result of dealing with challenges of living in a worthy or respectable way and doing so consistently over time. There is no doubt in my mind that self-esteem and self-love go hand-in-hand and together take a journey to achieve. It is here where I find myself today, in the early stages of a, what I presume to be life-long, journey toward increasingly powerful self-love. The self-esteem movement really began in the 1960’s, when self-esteem first became an attractive and influential idea. 

Taking a look at Psychology Today, you’ll find that self-love is appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth. It is dynamic, and it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand our self-love, we begin to accept our weaknesses and our strengths, we have less need to explain our shortcomings, we have compassion for ourselves, we are more centered in our life purpose and values, and we expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.

It is important to understand that you cannot obtain self-love from an outside source. Self-love must be obtained by you and for you. Again, we often turn to outside sources for encouragement, reassurance, or a confidence boost, but we need to find our own reasons within ourselves to feel encouraged, reassured, and confident. Also, understand that you will not reach a full state of self-love overnight. Self-love takes time, so be patient with yourself as you walk through this journey. Understand that everyone is capable of obtaining a state of self-love, as long as they put forth the effort and give it time. Join me on this journey and together we will begin to truly seek a state of love for ourselves.

By Chanelle Surphlis

Chanelle Surphlis is a Campus Clipper publishing intern, who is graduating from FIT this May. Passionate about giving back and pursuing volunteer opportunities, Chanelle aspires to work for a fashion or beauty company that includes philanthropy in its core values. If you like Chanelle’s writing, check out her blogs here and here. We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 

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