Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Abroad, Inside, and Out

Friday, October 25th, 2024

Ever since I started at college, I’d had my heart set on this one study abroad program offered. Basically, Emerson owns a castle in Limburg, the Netherlands, where students live and study for a semester. It’s just as strange and simultaneously magical as you’d imagine. 

So naturally I applied my Sophomore year for the Spring semester my Junior year. It was far enough ahead that I told myself I could worry about it when it got closer to the time—it was a whole year away, after all! I had plenty of time to figure it out.

But when I got the list of people attending, I read through it and didn’t know a single name, which filled me with utter, unbridled dread. I’d be doing a semester with strangers– completely starting over and far from any familiarity I had with school back in Boston. The fall before I left I started thinking about dropping out. The thought of boarding a plane with a bunch of strangers sent this paralyzing fear through me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to deal with it all. But I was also thinking I’d never be able to do this again in my life. It was a one-time opportunity.

So I decided to go through with it, because I knew I’d be pissed at myself if I didn’t. How could I let my anxiety win over me like that, and steal away yet another opportunity presented to me? 

The view from my room in Well, the Netherlands

The first week abroad was just like orientation Freshman year—everyone rushing to make friends. A lot of people knew each other already too, and had established dynamics—both good and bad ones. It’s a small liberal arts college, you can imagine how it is.

 I decided this time I’d hang back a bit. I’d take it a bit slower, even if that meant I wasn’t as “successful” as I wanted to be in making friends. 

I realized while over there that I needed to stop thinking about other people and focus on myself. So that’s what I did. Those first few weeks I was in the library by myself until 2 or 3 in the morning every day. I sat there until the night watch came through and asked me to turn off the lights when I was done. For some reason, those are the memories that stick with me after coming home. 

 I decided in that first week that if I had one friend who I could eat some meals with and go on some trips with, that was enough. And I had made one, someone I sat next to on the plane. As time went on, I naturally found more people. It’s easier to find friends who suit you when you aren’t desperately seeking them out, bending over backwards to try and make them like you. It’s better to take things at your own pace.

From my trip to Amsterdam

In short, these three months abroad were the most fun of my life. Equally as stressful, too, but I’d go back and do it again in a heartbeat. The way you learn about yourself in unfamiliar situations and locations is something that you just have to experience (even if it’s not studying abroad, just going elsewhere and seeing other ways of living—it’s so important). Even if moving around and changing scenes feels overwhelming at times, pushing through that initial fear can be the most rewarding thing in the world. You just have to be wary of your limits and listen to yourself, your body, and your brain. That’s also something I learned while I was abroad. To know when to back out. When my spoons get too full. When to be brave and say “I quit, this is too much for me right now.” It’s a fine line that I’m learning to walk.


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By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Am I the main character?

Monday, October 21st, 2024

I have always been waiting for my happy ending. Yet, it is just that: an ending. I am twenty years old, quietly anticipating the montage at the end of the movie: the one where the best friends hug, the lovers kiss, or the main character finally sees the world. But, what about the before? The inbetween? 

When I lived in LA, I could not stop thinking about Boston. From sixteen to nineteen, I felt pulled to the city. I dreamed of shedding my past, losing who I once was, and stepping fully into my authentic self. I felt deep in my bones that Boston was the catalyst. There was a story written for me here, and I had to go read it.

Now that I am here, though, I am presented with one big, fat in-my-face problem. I am scared of change. I like to think I am a mature enough person who doesn’t get freaked out by a six-letter word. In truth, however, I find myself struggling in its grasp, unsure of how to proceed. 

How do I be my most authentic self when I am so scared of change? The simplest yet most complicated answer is habits. Our habits dictate who we are. Once we learn a habit, it is hard to forget it. To become our most authentic selves—whoever we decide that is—we must shed not only the fear of change but our habits too.

I love seeing the leaves change!

In the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, there are four laws of behavior change to create better habits and to break an unwanted habit (it is important to not categorize anything as bad or good, as it hinders the ability to reinforce or get rid of the habit). 

To create a better habit, Clear writers that we have to: “(1) make (the cue) obvious, (2) make (the craving) attractive, (3) make (the response) easy, and (4) make (the reward) satisfying,” (55). When I was reading Atomic Habits, I placed the book on top of my bed every morning (making the cue obvious). Next, I held onto why I desired to read the book, which made the craving attractive. Thirdly, I set a goal of reading one chapter before bed each night; this was about ten pages. Lastly, I rewarded myself by reading a cheesy romance novel or doing a different, more relaxing activity afterward. 

On the other hand, to break an unwanted habit, Clear states that we have to “make (the cue)  invisible,” the craving unattractive, the response difficult, and the reward unsatisfying (54). When I want to study, I put my phone in one of my desk drawers (making the cue invisible). I also make sure it is on Do Not Disturb with the ringer off. Then, I make the craving unattractive by making my work environment more attractive: music on my computer, hot tea, comfy clothes, and good snacks. Thirdly, I make the response even more difficult; (placing it in a desk drawer makes the cue invisible and the response difficult). I add screen time locks to apps, and if I really want to pay attention to something, I may delete an app altogether. To make the reward unsatisfying, I remind myself of all the other things I would rather do than scroll on my phone, or how scrolling on my phone has wasted my time in the past causing me to fall behind on assignments. 

By using this formula we can break the habit loop (cue, craving, response, reward). Habit loop: we receive a cue from a specific time, location, smell, or other trigger, and receive a craving to complete an action based on that cue. We respond and we receive a reward (like dopamine). 

How does this relate to overcoming a fear of change? 

Sometimes we change without knowing it. We naturally grow as we get older with little conscious effort. However, we can also take a more practical approach to get past our fear and show up authentically. Changing our habits allows us to incrementally become the person we want to be. 

The first step is becoming aware of our habits. The next step is to implement intentions to change the habit (I will do x when the y situation arises). Then, we can start to break the unwanted habit or implement a desired habit using the formula above. However, according to James Clear, “the most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become,” (41). 

The Esplanade!

The Power of Visualization: 

One of my most recommended books is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book dives into the neuroscience of visualization and how we can use it to break free from our past selves, including our fear.  

One of the methods Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about is imagining ourselves completing the actions we want to take or wish we would have taken. For example, there have been situations in my life where I wish I stood up for myself, but I didn’t. The memories made me feel disempowered like I would never be able to stand up for myself in the future. So, I meditated on one of those memories. I remembered the feelings, environment, and scenario. Then, instead of letting the memory play out as it usually does, I visualized how I wish I would have responded: standing up for myself respectfully yet assertively. The memory has had less of a grip on me since, and I feel more empowered to stand up for myself in real life. 

When visualizing or meditating, we can often get intrusive thoughts. The key is to not engage with them. I like to think of myself standing in a room. Each thought is a bubble that passes through the room. My job, however, is to not touch the bubbles as they pass by me. In other words, we will always have thoughts in our head, but we do not need to engage with each of them, or any of them, especially when meditating. 

It is important to have balance, to not get caught up in visualizing what we want to be and what we wish we did. A good way to ground ourselves in reality is to set a time limit. Whether this is an hour-long meditation, or simply while washing the dishes or showering—remind yourself to be in the moment.

Between all of these practical approaches, we also need to accept and acknowledge our fear of change and feel it. We are unable to take any steps forward if we do not feel our emotions whenever they may arise. As mentioned, balance is key. We need to make sure we do not obsess over our perceived failures. Sometimes, saying out loud “I made a mistake and I am not happy about it,” taking a deep breath and choosing not to engage in those loud thoughts can really allow you to move forward unimpeded by feeling overwhelmed. 

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Day by day, I am working on becoming my most authentic self. I change my actions, I take on new experiences, and I learn with compassion. Each day, my understanding of myself, my wants, my desires, my dreams, and of course, my dislikes, grows. Each day, I step into that main-character energy and bask in all that life has to offer. 


Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Connecting and Disconnecting

Thursday, October 17th, 2024

I’m the king of FOMO, so I’ve been told. I say yes to practically everything, and I do what I think people want me to do. I’ve been trying to work on being realistic about how well my social battery is doing and how I’ll feel after a long night out; my battery drains pretty quickly, after all. My girlfriend always uses this analogy called “spoon theory.” How many spoons are you able to fill with the feelings and thoughts of other people before you overflow? You can only hold so much at the same time, after all. 

Whether it’s for your social life, school, or your job, you’re expected to be on-call almost constantly. You’re expected to be accessible to the outside world, even in the safety of your home. That’s the downside to modernity. Well, one of them. Not to get deep here. I think about it a lot, though. How different these times are to any other time on Earth. In my bed I get email notifications on my phone, group chat messages on five different apps, and reminders and notifications clouding up my lockscreen. It can be overwhelming being expected to answer to so many people all the time. 

Being exposed to so many people’s lives and thoughts at the same time can be overwhelming. I mean think about it—we humans know so many people nowadays, and are able to keep up with the people we’ve known throughout our whole lives with the tap of a finger. People I haven’t spoken to in years, or ever, still like my instagram posts. I always think, “Is it meant to be like this? Is this good?” I guess there’s no point in asking this question, since it’s just how things are.

Time off my phone and social media helps me stay sane. But on the other side, being able to connect with people is a part of life that’s so utterly essential. My phone undeniably makes that easier. It’s easier for me to keep up with my friends who’ve moved away, my parents after I moved out, and my girlfriend when I studied abroad. Every so often I call my friends who are living in LA to catch up. Being able to keep that relationship despite how many miles are between us is something that’s new to modern times, and is wonderful. 

A picture I took on a solo stroll down Commonwealth Ave in Boston

There’s pressure to constantly socialize in college especially. In that first year, there were times where I wouldn’t leave a friend’s room all day, and to be totally honest it’s because I thought that I had to do that. I started feeling drained, like I was losing who I really was to who I was around other people. Constantly putting on a performance without any time to rest, I felt pressure to attend everything I was invited to, even if it felt like a huge hurdle to overcome. There’s this fear of falling behind socially that happens no matter what kind of relationship it is. You don’t want to miss out on important parts of your life, after all. That’s how I felt. I’d never again be right down the hall from my best friends, so I had to make the most of it.

Simply put, that was stupid. I was exhausted and lost myself that year. So here’s my advice to you: deal with the FOMO! It won’t kill you. Lately I’ve been telling myself that. I’ve been skipping parties I don’t feel mentally ready to go to, taking time to walk around the city, and enjoying life all by myself just because I can. A little walk to get a coffee can make or break a day.

Even when I desperately want to attend something because I think it might be fun, I have to be realistic about my expectations. Will I really enjoy it? Are my spoons overflowing? 

I’ve been trying to focus on what makes me happy and keeping my priorities straight, because I’ve realized that that is what helps me maintain my relationships. If other people know my limits and are okay with them—well, that’s important in a friend, isn’t it?


Drop by Blick to get a student discount on art materials!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Why Letting Go is Essential

Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

There is something to be said about nostalgia. It’s a quiet perfume. Soft and sweet. Then, all of a sudden, stale and putrid. 

Every week, I sit in the common room with friends. I hear their laughter, teasing jokes, and lively discussions. When I look at them, ghosts pop out at me. Are they genuine, or like those I have been hurt by? I count their differences. I count their similarities. I take note. I crease the page of this memory, reminding myself to return to it later. I analyze it with a new lens, a new focus. Instead of being present, I am half stuck in the past, looking to confirm my fears, looking for that familiarity that I understand. 

Whether nostalgia or something stronger, the grasp the past holds on me leaves me constantly unfulfilled. I have always felt life was meant to be so much more than how it has been. That life is meant to be filled with adventures and sickeningly soft moments; if I am to do this thing called life, then why should it be just mediocre? 

Being stuck in the past prevents us from enjoying present experiences and having a fulfilled happy life. So how do we be more present? 

Everyone always asks me why I like rainy days. And I think: why should I enjoy a day any less just because it is raining? If anything it is an excuse to enjoy the small things in life (puddles and coffee!) all the more.

Step One: Let Go

When we consistently look towards the past and are reminded of it in negative ways that detract from our present experiences, we must first acknowledge and accept where we are. Often, I feel so much time has passed that I cannot truly still be affected by those things. But, ignoring the fact that I am indeed still affected by those things only hinders my healing. 

In this past year, I have tried to release my grip on the past. It has been hard. My therapist made me sit with myself and ask myself questions. She sat there in silent encouragement while I looked inward. I asked myself: why am I resistant to letting these memories go? I waited and eventually, I learned that to me, letting go of the experiences was almost like I was losing those people again and again. I queried further and with each response, I felt understanding. I granted myself self-compassion and  I was able to remove some of my resistance to moving forward. 

I then took the conscious steps forward to let go; this heavily focused on emotional release. When the past knocked on my door, I did not turn it away, nor did I openly embrace it, letting it consume me. Instead, I stared at it straight in the face, without judgment, and grieved. This emotional release alleviated much of the past’s control. 

In a similar fashion, when triggered, bringing up much more complex emotions regarding the past, I had to make space for my emotional release: to journal, to cry, to grieve, to be angry, and to surrender to the emotional wave, but to not to let it consume me. One way is through grounding techniques: breath work, tensing and releasing each muscle individually, planting feet on the floor, or spending some time alone in nature or with someone or something I love. After the wave crashes, I look towards my values, needs, and wants, so I may consciously make a decision that reflects myself and not my past and fears. 

Graphics from the T

Step Two: Be Present 

Life can be consistently overwhelming. There are to-do lists, pressures to be extraordinary, a desire to be perfect, and of course the dread of time. These things will likely always be there. So, to be present and enjoy life, the key is appreciating life for what it is. 

In her book, “Everything Beautiful,” Ella Frances Sanders writes: “There is almost always reassurance and meaning to be found in the smallest of things, in the smallest of beauties.” Sanders describes how appreciating the smallest things in life can bring comfort, and quiet serenity in the most overwhelming of moments. 

The squirrels always make my day!

After reading this book I set myself a challenge. Every day I would find at least one thing to find beauty in. I specifically mean the beauty of life and humanity. Sometimes this is the squirrels kneading the grass with their small paws, or an elderly couple walking through the park, or just the consistent sound of city-goers experiencing their lives in such a tight space that we are at once together and apart. 

Appreciating beauty in all its forms allows me to surrender to the present moment and find fulfillment even in the smallest things, and even during overwhelming times. This practice softens the creases in my heart and eases my worries about the future. Because even if everything is uncertain, there is always this: the beauty of life. 

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Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Dear No One: Letters That Stay Unsent

Monday, October 7th, 2024

I’ve written a fair share of letters in my day. It’s the romantic in me who feels written words, those that are so exquisitely accurate in their portrayal of love and loss, are the pinnacle of my existence. If I love someone, I have to write to them; it’s instinctive. This doesn’t mean, however, that I send all or even the majority of the letters I write. That is the coward in me, too afraid people will hold me to the words I write at a specific moment in time, too embarrassed to have a crowd of recipients holding physical evidence of my admiration for them.

As a general rule, the best course of action for most situations is to be honest and share your feelings with others. If you love them, admire them, miss them, are happy for them, or want to let them know you’re thinking of them, then, by all means, send them a letter! As long as you are not hurting anyone by sending this letter, there is no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. More importantly, you could make someone’s day. For me, nothing is more touching than receiving a handwritten letter from someone I care about. When I die, bury me in a coffin full of all the letters written to me.

Sometimes I do work at Emerson, sometimes I take a whole meeting room to myself and take selfies in the sunlight. First come, first serve.

A different truth is, of course, that life goes on. People hurt one another, lose touch, or slowly fade into the background of one’s existence. Things are constantly fluctuating, changing in ways we can’t prepare for. We are so busy! Work, school, internships; new friends, new subway lines, new bars; a big love, a big house, a big quarter-life crisis. Our minds are often scrambled, just trying to get through the motions of everyday life and enjoy it as it comes. Then, it creeps up on you, that random Friday afternoon. You hear a song you haven’t heard in a while, and it brings you back to a few years ago. Time freezes as you relive a life that you are so far removed from you wonder if it was ever even yours. Now, you’ve found yourself missing people you shouldn’t, realizing the window of opportunity to reach out has long passed, rightfully so. You’re flooded with nostalgia, rose-colored and inflated. Pouring your heart and soul out to them now would be more than wrong. 

Alexa, play ‘Bad Idea, Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo. Let this be a call to all the dewy-eyed girlies: Do NOT listen to that voice in your head telling you to make a harmless phone call to people who’ve hurt you. You have an alternative, and while it may not be as riveting of a story to tell at the cute cocktail spill-all, it is the healthier thing to do. The past is in the past, and you will never get it back, nor should you want to! More importantly, you are not the person you once were, and that is a good thing. Understand, too, that sometimes it is simply fun to reminisce, to repaint the past with the fresh perspective of a refined frontal lobe, but that doesn’t mean you should run with your naivety, expecting a new rendition of your past to become your reality.

A photo I took of two kids hanging out in Seaport, 2022.

Such circumstances as these are the perfect times to write a letter that is purposefully intended to not be sent anywhere. You can say everything you want to say, feel everything you want to feel, and simply tear it up (or burn it, which is thrilling!) when you’re done reading it over. There’s no regret, no embarrassment, no hurting others by bringing unsolicited memories back into fruition, and no risking your current peace. This is your chance to leave the “But What If?” to die. 

That being said, my favorite place to write letters I’ll never send is in my journal. Sometimes I will rip the pages out, crumble them, and toss them in the recycling bin. Other times I will leave them in my journal to look back on. I have also burned a few. Occasionally, I type them up and pretend I’m Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, but I usually just put a lock on the document until I feel I’ve outgrown whatever  I wrote down, and then I trash it. I’ve even dropped a few letters in the mailbox with no return or send address. One, I’m not proud of is when I sent a letter down a river, which was environmentally careless, but I was desperate for some kind of cinematic, main character energy to justify my emotions (Ah, to be 18 again). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you write your letter or in what way you discard it afterward. As long as you get the cathartic release you need, you’ve done yourself some good, and you should be proud.

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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My Second Biggest Fear Starting College Was The Dining Hall.

Thursday, September 26th, 2024

First was move-in. 

For me, it was the not-knowing of it all. I felt like the whole move-in process was something everybody understood except me, that there was a certain way to do things. I was worried about a wide assortment of things—will people be instructing me through it? What if I don’t have the correct documentation? What if my parents park our car in the wrong spot? The panicked thoughts that move-in brought were countless and utterly overwhelming. 

Some context: I’m Autistic, but I only recently got tested and figured it out. When I started college I thought I just had this terrible case of social anxiety. Everything felt scary, from a conversation with a close friend to a room full of strangers. Interpersonal relationships have always been my biggest struggle—but at the same time, my biggest desire. Human beings are social creatures, after all. My relationships with other people are some of the most important aspects of my life. You can’t get through life without talking to people—they’re everywhere you look! I used to think that was a terrible thing, but I’ve come to realize it’s a beautiful part of life. 

So while I was terrified to start college, I was also thrilled to open up this new part of my life and meet all these new people from different backgrounds. 

And on that first day, I wasn’t the only one who felt at-a-loss about move-in. It’s freshman year; it’s new for everyone. Everybody is in the same boat. Even if I felt as though I were more clueless than most, that wasn’t necessarily the truth. 

The thing about Freshman year of college is that everyone runs to make friends at the very start, desperately afraid of being alone, and oftentimes those groups fall apart quickly. During orientation, everyone was so nice it was almost ridiculous. 

Then, it all died off. Friendships dwindled, people figured out who ‘worked’ for them and who didn’t—and it seemed I didn’t ‘work’ for the people I’d chosen that first week. I rushed into it like everyone else, afraid that if I didn’t instantaneously make friends upon arrival, I’d be alone forever—and I ended up alone anyways. 

Not forever, though. Of course not forever. 

Boston Public garden

I didn’t set foot in the dining hall until October. 

There was a list of reasons why. They might seem completely irrational (and they are!), but to myself at the time these reasons summoned just enough anxiety for me to choose a different option for food—to the detriment of my bank account, might I add. There were too many people I didn’t know—unfamiliar faces, people whose thoughts I didn’t know. I didn’t know where anything was, so what if I walked into the wrong area? What if I didn’t know what to eat? What if there were no seats left and I didn’t have anywhere to sit? These tiny molehills of concerns felt like mountains to me, impossible to overcome. 

Then I was invited to get dinner with a new friend. Someone I hardly knew, back then. Someone I got to know better by finally deciding today’s the day and agreeing to join them for dinner.

And, surprise! The dining hall was not the Hell-on-Earth I thought it would be. It was just, you know, the dining hall. A cafeteria. Like a bigger, slightly better version of what there was in high school. All it took was getting in there and going through the process of acquainting myself with new things. All it took was a push, a kind hand outreached. Sometimes, all you need to say is ‘yes.’


Caffe Bene is one of my favorite coffee shops to write at in Boston, enjoy 10% off with this coupon and student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Hold On or Let Go?

Tuesday, September 24th, 2024

Last Sunday was my mom’s birthday. I called her and asked how she was and how life was at home. She told me: “Everything is the same.” I wondered how everything could be, considering I was on the other side of the country. Perhaps she meant it as support—comfort, that even if everything seemed to be changing, at least my life in LA wouldn’t change. But, those words wound around my heart; hurt and fear became a coiling thing I could not ignore. 

Ever since I began planning for college, I wanted to get out. I wanted to leave behind complicated familial relationships, grow out of them like hand-me-downs, and live my own life. The plan was ironclad, and I saw no room for fault. Then, I came here: Boston. Three thousand miles from my family, the distance only amplified what was already missing. 

Charles River Esplanade

Three weeks before the big move, I met my therapist. I told her I was scared. Was I moving because I knew where I was meant to be, or was I running away? She stared at me and asked: “When does the feeling of escapism come up for you?” 

Me: “When I am feeling upset, out of control, or triggered.” 

T: “What makes you feel upset, out of control, or triggered?”

Me: “When I am dissatisfied with my relationships or feel like my needs are not met.” 

T: “So the feeling of escapism means what?” 

Me: “That there is a need for change.” 

While I physically left my past behind, escaping did not wipe the slate clean, make my relationships better, or change them in any way. However, this physical distance has given me one thing: a choice. Do I let these relationships stay the same and feel the hurt of our distance, or do I hold onto hope and try to fix what has felt so irrevocably wrong?

Dumplings from Chinatown!

From my new apartment window, I often see people lugging their baggage to the nearby hotels, and I think about my mom and dad. I think about the three of us just a month before, trudging down the street just like them. I can see us several days later saying our goodbyes outside the very building I reside in. My parents hugged me and told me they loved me. I replied the same. They gave me advice about college and life. I tried to listen, but my unhideable annoyance shut it down. I think of all the support they attempted to give me, even if, to my stubborn brain, it had been nothing more than: “I already know this.” I think about all these things, and the regret hits like a tidal wave. 

Perhaps this is what it means to want to hold on. To feel regret over the things that didn’t change. And to remember the positive moments and smile—playing dumpling roulette, eating sandwiches from North End at a small park surrounded by squirrels, and walking through the Commons in the comfort of all the greenery. 

So, today, I’ll call my parents. I’ll tell them about my life in Boston—about my supportive friends, the guy I like, and the date he has planned for us, the clubs I’ve joined, and the adventures I am going on. Most importantly, I’ll call and tell them how I feel: I miss them and know things have been complicated and strained, but I want us to be close. 

There is only so much I can do to fix our relationship now, especially so far from home. But, I can inspire change with the people I love by communicating my feelings instead of hiding it all away. Maybe my effort won’t change anything tremendous, but I can at least say I tried.

Kung Fu Tea is a great place to get boba for you and your friends! Bring your student ID for a Buy 1 Get 1 Free deal!

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Chapter 7: You Don’t Have to Stay Home

Monday, July 29th, 2024

Renowned relationship expert Paul C. Brunson while on the Diary of a CEO podcast said something along the lines of “Go where you’re scarce.” This resonated heavily with me when trying to figure out what reasons there were for me to stay home that it started to look like I wasn’t growing the way I wanted to; and I was never convinced it was a good idea in the first place. I ignored the longstanding struggle I had with connecting with my home city and neighborhood. There was a voice telling me that I would be abandoning the very place that essentially made me. And the people.

There was a clear mismatch between myself and my environment. I honestly felt more of a transplant than a true native New Yorker. I was never a fan of the hustle mentality, never favored the overcrowded streets, and never blended in beyond the racial diversity of my neighborhood in the Bronx. Paul C. Brunson pointed me to the concept of “environmental mastery,” which is one of the six dimensions of psychological well-being: self-acceptance, positive relationships, autonomy, environmental mastery, purpose, and personal growth. I found environmental mastery to be the most difficult to fulfill right after positive relationships.

I found myself competing against strangers on the street for a couple seconds of quiet in a city and neighborhood that wasn’t built for that. I was even racing for space on narrow sidewalks, subway platforms, and other frantic spaces. This wasn’t the way I wanted to interact with the city; all I wanted was to sit and take it all in. Sadly, it seemed like speed was erasing a lot of the city from my memory, especially the positive memories I did have from childhood. The city got too big for me to feel seen. Not that I needed to be bigger than it, but I wanted to feel like there could be traces of me while I am still here. It looked more and more like the only way for me to reach environmental mastery was moving out of the city.

a group of people crossing a street in a city
A taste of the Big Apple.
Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/a-group-of-people-crossing-a-street-in-a-city-F2m6TRfBwko

I’ve already given much credit to my college years for getting me out of the domesticity bubble when family was at the center of my identity, my life. But I have to give it much more for even getting me to consider moving out of the city as an option. That never looked like an option when I thought all I had was here in New York City–or at least what I thought I had was here. College awakened a desire in me for more than what I was used to for all my childhood and adolescence. New travels, new people, and a chance to discover my own tastes in everything there is to enjoy in life.

Making the decision to leave your hometown isn’t the kind of decision you can make on an impulse, but it is particularly beneficial for us 20-somethings. Moving out of your hometown can give you the chance to recreate your identity based on a newly discovered sense of self, a more expansive social circle, and more decision-making control over your immediate space—throw in more control over your time. It can feel so powerful to build a life of your own even if away from the influences of those you grew up with. For those who have a burning desire to start anew like myself but find it difficult to make those first moves (no pun intended), it might help to pay close attention to any strong emotions that come up when you think about your hometown because that could indicate a larger trend of lack of contentment. Sad to say I relate to this.

I always knew I wanted to leave New York City, even all throughout college. Fear managed to get the best of me, and I stayed put for years, even when I had multiple opportunities to study or work abroad. Sharing a two-bedroom apartment with 5 other family members, working extra hard to not afford the apartments I wanted, and not having the time for a social life was negatively impacting my mental and physical health, yet I ignored that for years. Now, I won’t pretend and say that your problems will magically disappear the moment you move out. But moving out of your hometown might free you from negative environments, make you more responsible for yourself, and perhaps reveal a you that always existed but struggled to be seen in the old environment. I think there is no greater reason than finally growing into yourself to create a new home.


You can still save money when you move out. Save 10% on any hardware essentials with this coupon!

By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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An Ever-Evolving City

Wednesday, July 24th, 2024

After completing an entire school year at Columbia University, so many people have asked me “how did you like your first year?”. It’s safe to say that I left campus a changed person. I learned, I laughed, I got off at the wrong subway station more times than I can count. When I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge for the first time,  I was so sure I had made the right decision to move across the country. When an East Coast storm flooded the streets, the subway, and my shoes, my heart ached for home. It was all so much. The one constant about New York is that it’s always changing. Buildings are erected and dismantled in the blink of an eye, while the scaffolding at the corner store stands tall and immortal. The subway takes millions of passengers across the city every day, each with a different destination in mind. At times, New York can feel like it’s moving too fast. 

A photo of the world trade center, one of NYC’s most recognizable and imposing buildings. Taken on 35mm film.

Over the course of the past few chapters, I’ve investigated the different miracles and mishaps that come with one’s freshman year in New York City. Finding community is essential to maintaining sanity while finding your place in this whirlwind of a city. Exploring your neighborhood, joining clubs with similar interests, and practicing small acts of kindness are a few ways to promote a pleasant and healthy shift into undergraduate life from the shelters of high school. At the end of the day, these have been a few tools and tips I’ve laid out to help support the incoming college freshman. Questions, however, are still bound to arise even after these practices are put into action. What happens after freshman year is over? How can I make new friends after the first semester? Can I survive this place for three more years?

Though I can proudly claim I’ve survived a year in New York, I’ve still got a long way to go before I’ve fully realized all that the city has to offer. The honest truth is that I don’t have everything figured out yet, but another truth exists in tandem: I don’t have to! The opportunities, lessons, and experiences available in this metropolis are as sprawling and infinite as the city itself. One could spend a lifetime and a half living in New York and barely scratch its surface. It’s unrealistic to try and master it all, but it’s worthwhile to experience as much as you can. As young adults in New York City, it’s our privilege and responsibility to squeeze as much as we can out of our time here. Emphasis on “as much as we can”, nothing more. Take in as much as you can bear with grace and move forward. 

My family visiting me in the city, a photo that reminds me that hope and love can exist here too. Taken on 35mm film.

Adaptability and growth mindsets are your best friends when it comes to reconciling with life in the Big Apple. The power of the growth mindset, believing that your current can be developed and is not fixed, is dynamic and cherishable. The ability to change yourself for the better is crucial when it comes to that smooth transition home sweet home to the urban jungle. Whether you’re anxious to start your first year in New York City or you’re frustrated because your subway is delayed again, retaining that growth mindset is one of the best ways to get through it all. So while you’re out living your dreams in the city that never sleeps, remember: New York City is ever-evolving, so we should be too.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


Theres nothing wrong with treating yourself every once in a while. Students can get 15% off a meal at The Grand Feast by showing a coupon and student ID.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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An Introduction to World-Saving: Prologue

Tuesday, July 9th, 2024

Admiring the blush blooming across the pinched cheeks of young tourists as they drink the cheapest red wine our Sicilian villa offers and the sloppy kisses they plant on their agape, laughing lips, I have unwillingly permitted several realizations to seep through my intermittent head throbs. It is my birthday tomorrow. I will turn twenty years old, and I have failed at living as a teenage girl. 

The finite potential I saved up for my teenage years, as if they were points to be redeemed at Dave & Busters or paid time off hours set aside for a short-lived vacation, has rotted and will wither in the next sun cycle to a place neither time nor I could catch it.

In retrospect, I’m grateful for the few parties I’d made appearances at, football games I’d stood in the back of, and crushes in class who had served primarily as muses for poetry but had not been of substantial importance as to break my freshman spirit. They would come later. I had snuck out of the house to meet boys, tried out for the softball team, and stuck my head out a sunroof under the cover of a tunnel. I had checked off the little things on the mental list I prepared in my pre-teens, yet coronavirus and the abnormal hardwiring of my mind had been the catalysts to my primarily online academic journey in the second half of high school. 

After a series of unfortunate events, I had been advised by school administration to not attend prom nor walk the stage for the mental safety of myself and physical safety of others, while the rest of my graduating class—mainly comprised of eerily similar Barbies and Kens clothed in milkmaid dresses and in suits of fine fabric from places I’ve never heard of—had thrown their crimson-colored caps at the peak of spring weather, and the following week rented beach houses the to consume liquor stolen from their equally plastic doll-like parents. 

I’d spent a few months isolated, experiencing ceaseless depression and feelings of ostracization. For my own wellbeing, I couldn’t leave the house nor use any electronics. If I had a visitor, which had only ever been my younger cousin or my close neighbor, they’d be screened for devices which had to be left at the foyer. 

I hadn’t been one to drop my schoolbooks and have an unassuming, charming upperclassmen retrieve them for me. Boys had not stolen glances at me in the halls. The cheerleaders had never sat with me for lunch. My hair had not been blown out on a bimonthly basis, instead it had been buzzed short because of my alleged depression and anxiety that ripped it off in thick clumps. I had lacked the blackout parties, spontaneous coastal trips, and urban explorations. With only myself to blame, I had chosen to remain cooped inside and ruminate over the potential I had, rather than pursue the efforts it would take to self actualize.

Then came university. In my first year, I splurged most of my money on lavish dinners, chic bodily adornments, and overpriced tickets to piano recitals. I invested my leisure time in projects I had no real passions for so as to be perceived as an intelligent, indestructible, and interesting woman. Months of precariously crafting a pristine and beautiful facade eventually proved futile, as the ostentatious exterior inevitably crumbled when I revisited my hometown and found myself disinterested in impressing my high school counterparts. 

Now I wear my well-loved clothes from senior year, detaching old memories and infusing new ones into their distressed sleeves and eclectic buttons. Deviating from saving money for elegant evenings amongst older company, I presently opt to expand my wunderkammer of vintage cameras and to purchase flights to cities I’d never thought to visit. The need to adopt a pretentious personality that fed on underground jazz artists and bled orchestral symphonies from the Renaissance dissipated. I could listen to mainstream rock and indie classics meant to make the young and stupid drunk on the liveliness they swell in. I began to savor the world again, like a little kid given their first dollar at a candy store. This abrupt but welcome thrill was the impetus for my drive to play a role in saving the world.

And so here is my epiphany. If we, the people that inhabit the world, hope to ensure this miraculous planet stays afloat in our universe, there are various key concepts we need to understand. We must adopt collectivist notions and realize that human beings have the shared responsibility of caring for the Earth. Those of us who are fortunate enough to have our basic needs met have the opportunity to take action toward creating a society where the needs of others are also fulfilled. 

Based on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it can be believed that if people had access to clean food, safe housing, and secure jobs, they would be more inclined to seek endeavors conceptualized by minds at their highest potential (Maslow 1943, 430). Perhaps if one were to add a genuine sense of belonging and community, coupled with a healthy self-esteem, to these people, they would truly self-actualize and choose to engage in methods of mending the world. Maybe if Oishee found authentic connection among her peers, she would be apt to start volunteering weekly at the communal food shelter. Maybe if Darrell earned a sufficient salary to avoid living paycheck to paycheck, he would begin smiling at strangers and gain the confidence to engage in small talk. Maybe if Jimena had scheduled therapy and developed a support system, she would willingly host fundraisers for mental health non-profits. 

We must note that kindness is not a panacea for all evils, but a tool in the grand scheme of it all. It is the simplest of seeds we can plant to prompt the growth of hectares of worldly goodness. Rarely do situations de-escalate when multiple parties are brash, hostile, and dismissive. My friends and partners learned, sooner than I, that setting boundaries whilst remaining gentle, patient, and loving is most effective in alleviating my stress and calming my anger. Of course, this does not work in cases where negotiations preventing the termination of a mass genocide built over the course of decades of history is at play. The principle still stands: looking out for our fellow people is the root of how society can be improved and earth can be healed. It can begin with a seed planted by one of us. 

This is a collection of experiences from my adolescence that have driven me to contribute towards sustaining this planet we hold dear. Motivation is everywhere and I think I have it in me to participate in  change-making agendas. Will you play a part in saving the world?

References 

Maslow, A.H. (1943). “A Theory of Human Motivation”. In Physiological Review, 50 (4), 430-437.

Ansorger, Jennifer. 2021. “An Analysis of Education Reforms and Assessment in the Core Subjects Using an Adapted Maslow’s Hierarchy: Pre and Post COVID-19” Education Sciences 11, no. 8: 376.


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