Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

« Older Entries

Chapter 4: Another Kind of Growing

Thursday, July 3rd, 2025
Lunch with family on a random Sunday

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision to stay home for college. Honestly, I kind of regret it sometimes. I chose to stay because I wanted to be there for my parents. Coming from an immigrant family, I felt this responsibility, like my presence might make things easier for them, like I owed them that much after everything they had sacrificed. 

At first, it felt like the right choice. My parents were happy I stayed, and there was a kind of comfort in being home.  It felt easier in a way. I got to stay in my room, sleep in my bed, have my own routine, and just be the old me. I also liked being around if they needed help with something, like paperwork or errands, or even just to sit and talk. It felt like I was doing the right thing, for them and myself.

Over time, things started to feel different. Staying close meant I was there for everything. Not just the warm family dinners or quick chats in the kitchen, but also the tension, the arguments, the quiet disappointments. I don’t know exactly when it shifted, but once college started and I settled into my routine, I began noticing things I hadn’t before. The closer I stayed, the more clearly I saw them. Not just as my parents, but as people. I started seeing the cracks in how they speak, how they handle stress, how they show love, and how they fail every day.

The more I see, the more I want to run. Not because I don’t love them, but because I know them too well. 

Sometimes, I regret that I’m not growing the way others are. My friends who live on campus talk about doing their laundry at midnight, cooking instant noodles together, and pulling all-nighters in the library. They tell stories about navigating awkward roommate situations, learning how to budget, arguing with friends, and fixing it on their own. They’re learning how to be adults. 

I, on the other hand, come home to food that’s already made. I don’t worry about whether the laundry machine is available or if the communal bathroom is clean. I’m still someone’s child in this house, not quite my own person. And when I fight with a friend, I don’t go knock on their door two floors down and talk it out at 2 a.m. I just sit with it. Alone. 

There are times I want to tell my friends I made this choice for a reason. I stayed to help my parents, to be present, to save money. But still, I feel like I’m not becoming the version of myself I thought I’d be by now. I want to say all of this out loud, but I don’t.

Instead, I nod along when they talk about dorm drama and late-night adventures, even though I can’t relate. I laugh when they joke about bad dining hall food while I’m washing dishes at home. I say I’m doing great, even when I’m not sure what I’m doing at all. It’s easier that way. Less explaining. Less chance they’ll look at me with that mix of pity and confusion, like I’ve missed out on something I’m supposed to want.

And maybe I have. But I’ve also gained something they haven’t.

I’ve learned how to be there for people, even when it’s hard. I’ve learned how to show up every day—not just when I feel like it, but because someone depends on me. I’ve learned how to be still. How to be grounded when everything feels uncertain. Living at home hasn’t just kept me close to my family, it’s brought me closer to myself. I’ve noticed how my mom sighs differently when she’s tired versus when she’s disappointed. I’ve memorized the quiet routines that make this house function, the invisible labor that held my childhood together. I’ve gained the kind of strength that doesn’t announce itself. The kind that comes from choosing the hard thing, over and over, without anyone clapping for you. The kind that builds slowly, through early mornings, through uncomfortable silence, through the ache of watching life happen elsewhere.

It’s not loud. It’s not charming. But it’s mine. And one day, I think I’ll look back and realize this was a version of becoming, too. Just not the one I expected.

Get 15% OFF your next slice (or whole pie — we don’t judge). Swing by Pronto Pizza and treat yourself— because good pizza with a discount is a win-win.

By Marzia Seemat

Marzia Seemat is a sophomore at NYU studying civil engineering and creative writing. She loves being close to nature, especially at the beach. Her favorite things include good food, morning tea, hour-long movies, and spending time with the people she loves.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for our newsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card, available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

Share

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Family, NYC Student Guide, onValues, Roommates, Student Issues | No Comments »

Paris, Texas and how it changed the way I see NYC

Saturday, June 28th, 2025

One of the most exciting aspects of going to school in NYC is the artistry and magic behind the film industry here. As a film enthusiast, filmmaker, and actor myself, I have always believed that although the industry lies in Los Angeles, that the heart of indie, unique, and distinctive voices lies here. Being in the same environment where legends like Scorsese, Bob Dylan, Al Pacino, Spike Lee, and Robert De Niro stepped foot in and marked their paths inspires me everyday as an artist, but more importantly makes me want to forge my own path and my own artistic process. 

Martin Scorsese and Robert de Niro on the set of Taxi Driver (1971).
Image credits: https://www.fastcompany.com/3066462/cinephile-alert-the-martin-scorsese-museum-exhibition-has-come-to-nyc

When I arrived in NYC to start classes, the first thing I set out to do was to visit the historic and iconic IFC Cinemas in the West Village. Upon seeing it I felt transformed. Despite having been in New York a few times before, I had never gotten a chance to explore it through my love for art, and even just seeing felt magical until now. They were doing a showing of Paris, Texas, a film that absolutely floored me the first time I watched it due to its philosophical richness and emotional depth. I decided that that would be the first film I would watch in New York City, and I couldn’t have chosen a better film to set the stage for such a monumental chapter in my life – the first year of college; away from home. 

IFC Center in West Village, NYC

What captures me about Paris, Texas is the striking portrayal of what it’s like to be on a search to find yourself, to see what your place in the world is and why it’s meaningful. The protagonist, Travis, is introduced to the audience as an amnesiac who is lost, wandering the desert alone without any idea of who his past self entailed. The film shows the journey he faces in reconstructing his life, but more importantly, how the choices he makes as he finds himself are different from those of the man he abandoned. It touches on a core belief of Jean Paul-Satre, that existence precedes essence; that the choices you make and reasoning behind them are what determines your destiny. Essentially, we are all born with a Tabula Rasa, or a blank slate. There could not be a moment that is more deserving of this ideology than going to college. When we enter college, we can all be a blank slate. You don’t have to be the same exact person you were in high school, and the choices you make while in college are what often set yourself up for what can be a very rewarding and fulfilling life.

Paris, Texas Still – Travis wandering desert
Image credit: https://inalonelyplacefilm.com/2014/11/30/paris-texas-a-visual-trip/

As an artist and especially someone pursuing a fine arts degree, I think that we are all blank slates. We are all trying to find not only what motivates us to create art, but also our own niche and our own style of artistry. “I think college can be an opportunity where your art will grow, flourish, and expand beyond your very eyes with the help of your education and the people you meet. Even for non-artists or people who enjoy art as more of a hobby, this idea can be put into practice in careers. We are trying to find what makes us good at what we are, what makes us want to pursue what we are pursuing, and more importantly we are exploring who we are as people. 

Another aspect of Paris, Texas that I find is worth mentioning is its ideas regarding time, memory, and space. Director Wim Wenders uses a variety of open, vast shots, where the characters are seen as miniscule behind the scenery of the American west. This choice is intentional, as is any choice a filmmaker makes in the creation of their films, but what makes this such a valuable choice is the statement it makes about our place in the world. Arguably we are only a very small fraction of history, of the world, of time.

Paris, Texas still: Travis wandering desert
Image credit: https://spfilmjournal.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/paris-texas-by-wim-wenders-1984/

Like Travis at the start of the film, we are immediately subjected to being in the vast, empty, and almost liminal south Texan desert, leading us to feel the same confusion as him. After he gets reunited with his brother and begins his journey to find his ex-wife, the closer he gets to the city and urbanization the more his memories start to return back to him. Paris. Texas not only evokes the fact that memory keeps us all grounded, but also suggests that time can reshape itself. We can’t necessarily forget our past, but maybe we don’t have to. Being able to self-reflect and grow from our past, while also keeping the value in the memories that matter is a lesson that I think anyone should take from this film, and also this important stage in life. In a city like New York, you can almost feel as isolated and stuck with your own thoughts as if you were in the desert, but being able to use those moments with yourself and feel connected to what feels like home is often what gives us the motivation to keep going towards our goals and dreams. 

Entrance of the IFC Center in West Village

What left me most in awe after exiting the theatre during this showing was the ending of the film. On the big screen, there is absolutely nothing like it. The green light on the empty parking lot roof that overlooks the twilight sky, seeing Travis leave his child with Jane after he finally tracked her down, and ending with him being alone once again is more open to interpretation than I can think of.

Paris, Texas still: Jane and her son reunite
Image credit: https://inalonelyplacefilm.com/2014/11/30/paris-texas-a-visual-trip/

The main thing that I find powerful about the ending is the idea of space, silence, and letting go. The fact that he lets Jane and their son go off, without his physical intervention, shows the way in which internal redemption doesn’t always end in a “happily ever after.” He acknowledges that his past self did harm, and rather than go back, he decides that keeping space between them is the best course of action he could take, but leaves satisfied in his ability to fix something. His transformation and character growth was introspective, and despite being left in the same physical predicament that he started (alone, wandering, a nomad), he isn’t who he was at the start of the film because he remembers his past. In more ways than one, I think this is reflective of how I see my college journey. Wenders captures brilliantly the weight that lies within silence, within solitude, within goodbyes, and within starting over, and similarly, college can feel like that too. You are learning your place in the world, you are saying goodbye to a life that you can’t completely go back to, and you are learning to become your very best company. College forces you to confront the idea of who you think you are, and will lead you to grow inwardly and internally, rather than it being a big, climactic moment. 

Paris, Texas still: Travis watches as Jane and their son drive off
Image credit: https://velveteyes.net/movie-stills/paris-texas/

Change can be scary, college can be scary, even being alone can be scary. But it doesn’t always have to be. Change can lie in what feels familiar and can push us to new corners if we let it.

After your film experience at the IFC, take 20% off at Absolute Coffee!
Enjoy coffee, tea, pastries, and more!


By Avril Walter

Avril Walter is a Sophomore at New York University, majoring in Drama and Cinema Studies. Coming from an Argentinian background, she loves anything related to futbol, steak, and dulce de leche. When she is not in class, she can be found playing the violin, running, cooking, or at the movie theatre.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for our newsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

Share

Tags:, , ,
Posted in Creativity, Family, Friendship, Movies, onEntertainment, Relationships | No Comments »

Chapter 2: The silent sacrifice

Tuesday, June 17th, 2025
My Commitment Post

I have always considered myself to be selfish. My parents say it all the time—and honestly, they are not wrong. As a kid, I was laser-focused on what I wanted. At the mall, I’d hunt down my stuff first, and the second I had it? I was ready to go. Didn’t care who else needed to shop; I had my things, I was done. 

When I grew up, the idea of being selfish started to haunt me. Sometimes, it hurt to think that maybe I was the person who always put herself first. Deep down, I wanted to be different. I wanted to be the kind of daughter who gave her whole heart to her parents. But no matter how much I cared, my actions never seemed to say it loudly enough. I was caught between wanting to give everything and not knowing how to express it, so I often said things I didn’t mean—things that probably sounded like the opposite of love.

Maybe that’s why when college decisions came around the corner, my heart leaned toward what my parents wanted. It wasn’t pressure, exactly— they never forced anything. But I could feel it. They saw their childhood in me. The chances they never got, the roads they couldn’t take. 

At first, I didn’t fully understand. I thought they were just being vague when they said, “It’s up to you.” But it didn’t take a genius to hear what they weren’t saying. I could read it in their eyes, in the way they paused, in the way they tried not to persuade me but persuaded me anyway. Their silence was filled with hope, and I felt it sitting beside me every time I opened a college portal.

I prayed for my college decisions to keep me in New York City. I grew up here—it’s home. And as the oldest daughter of immigrant parents, the thought of leaving felt like too much. I couldn’t imagine settling somewhere far and starting over without them nearby. But that didn’t stop me from wanting it all—to get into every school I applied to, to have the kind of choices I never thought possible. 

What I didn’t realize was that this second wish would send my life into chaos. I got into Columbia for writing and NYU for engineering. Two schools. Two dreams. Both in my city. Both too real to ignore.

On one hand, there was Columbia, an Ivy League—prestigious, poetic, the kind of place that would take my writing seriously. It felt like choosing the part of me that always struggled to express herself.  On the other hand, there was NYU, one of the best for engineering. Practical. Respected, which felt like choosing the part of me that thrived on building, solving, and understanding how the world worked. Which one do I choose? Which one is better for me? For my family? 

Whichever one I chose, I knew I would have to let go of a part of myself. My identity. Not because I didn’t want both, but because sometimes two dreams just don’t fit in the same life. 

In the end, I chose engineering — not just for me, but for the version of me my parents always believed in. I chose it because it was my first dream, even before writing. I chose it because I already was a writer, with or without a degree. And I chose it because it felt like building something, not just a future, but a bridge between who I was, who I wanted to be, and who I wanted to make proud.

Maybe I am selfish in other ways, but no rule says selfish people are heartless. Choosing engineering wasn’t just about me—it was the only way I knew how to love them back.

For my mom, it was a way to say her sacrifices were seen. That every meal made after a long day, every quiet worry she carried, every time she put her own life on pause—it all mattered. If I couldn’t always find the words, then let this choice be my way of saying thank you.

And for my dad, it was something deeper. He once dreamed of this path for himself, but life pulled him in another direction. I chose engineering partly because he still carries that dream. And because I wanted to carry it with him, to make him feel like he didn’t give it up for nothing.

So if I couldn’t always say it out loud, let this be the way I show it. Not just a degree. Not just a future. But a quiet promise that I acknowledge them.

Get 20% OFF your next slice (or whole pie — we don’t judge). Swing by Baby John’s Pizzeria and treat yourself— because good pizza with a discount is a win-win.

By Marzia Seemat

Marzia Seemat is a sophomore at NYU studying civil engineering and creative writing. She loves being close to nature, especially at the beach. Her favorite things include good food, morning tea, hour-long movies, and spending time with the people she loves.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for our newsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

Share

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Creativity, Family, NYC Student Guide, onFood, onValues, Relationships | No Comments »

Crash Course Connections Ch 1: New Beginnings

Wednesday, June 11th, 2025

Coming to college is starting from scratch—an exciting, sometimes nerve-wracking, chapter of life filled with possibility. Whether you’re attending a school close to home or heading off to a new city, college offers a fresh start. And before you’ve even found your footing, the pressure to find your new best friends can be overwhelming. Lucky for you, this pressure is universal, and you are far from alone.

Those first few weeks on campus are nonetheless crucial for laying the groundwork for new friendships. Everyone is adjusting, finding their classes, navigating dorm life, and figuring out where the best coffee is. During this time, people are especially open to meeting others, so be sure to take advantage.

Go to orientation events, campus tours, welcome mixers, and even cheesy icebreaker activities. These are designed to help you meet people and start conversations. You never know; your future best friend might be your accomplice in sneaking into the succulent planting welcome event that you never got off the waitlist for. That might sound oddly specific, but that is precisely how I made my first, and closest, friend here. 

We met in the first week before classes had even started, but it was only once we found ourselves appearing at the same social events time and time again that we became close. We started to realize all of our shared interests, from cafe-hopping to art museums, and just like that I had found a partner in crime. It is with her, my friend Ambika, that I met my other now roommate Taylor, and we quickly became a nearly inseparable unit. 

The “unit” in question- (right to left) Ambika, Taylor, and me

 It will likely happen like this, if it hasn’t already, for you as well. You have to be open to the opportunity, but the right acquaintances will, with both rapid speed and gradual commitment, become family. So maybe keep your headphones out at the school bookstore, compliment that girl’s jacket, and dive into a conversation about how you both love thrifting. Let the world in, and I guarantee the rest will fall into place. 

 Join clubs, sports teams, or student organizations that interest you. Whether it’s an intramural volleyball league, the school newspaper, or a club for people who love baking, getting involved is a fantastic way to meet people with shared interests. These groups give you a natural space to interact and bond without the pressure of having to “make friends” on the spot.

You also don’t need a big circle of friends. In fact, it’s often better to focus on forming a few genuine connections. Meet as many people as you can handle, but don’t feel pressured to sustain all of these relationships. If you click with someone- great! Follow -up, grab coffee, and invite them on outings or to group hangouts. If you are finding it difficult to deepen a friendship, try stepping back and directing that energy towards expanding your network or fostering other connections you’ve made. 

Remember, friendships take time to grow. You might not find “your people” in the first week or even the first month, and that’s okay. Keep showing up. Keep reaching out. Be open to different ideas and perspectives, and talk to as many people as possible. 

Reinventing yourself in college can be exciting, especially when you’re in a new environment. While growth is a natural part of the process, try not to lose sight of who you are. The strongest bonds come from a foundation of authenticity. Let people get to know the real you—the you that loves photography, longs to travel, despises techno music, and has strong opinions about politics.

Vulnerability is scary, especially when you don’t know anyone yet and you don’t want to close any doors. But being honest invites others to do the same, and in turn allows you to filter out the people who were never meant to stay in your life.

You will also feel lonely at times, especially in the beginning, when your family is done helping you unpack and you’re left sitting in your dorm room alone. This is all a part of the process. Everyone experiences moments of homesickness, anxiety, or awkwardness during the transition. It’s not only normal but expected. I assure you, it will pass. But, in the meantime, reach out for comfort—turn to a roommate or call a hometown friend. 

College is about so much more than academics. It’s about the relationships you build, the memories you make, and the people who will shape your journey. Friendships will evolve over time. Some will be short-lived, others lifelong. All of them will teach you something.

So take that first step. Say hello. Sit down at a new table, because you never know who will be sitting across from you.

Use this coupon to grab a delicious bite of curry or biryani at any of their NYC locations!

By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Tags:, , , , , , ,
Posted in Family, Friendship, NYC Student Guide, onValues, Relationships, Roommates, University | No Comments »

Same Fears, Different Outlook

Saturday, November 16th, 2024

I’m in my first semester of Senior year now, and listen— I’m still afraid of the dining hall. Kind of. It’s big, busy, and bright. It’s a space that still feels uncomfortable for me to enter some days. During my first three years of college, when I relied on the dining hall for meals because I lived on-campus, it was sort of like exposure therapy going in and out of that place at least twice a day. Now it takes more of an effort. The dining hall is unfamiliar again. But I push through that, and I go in anyway because I know I can. Because it’s not actually that bad once I get in there and sit down. 

A few months into this semester, I’ve managed to find a rhythm. Every Monday I meet some friends for coffee, Wednesday we get dinner, Thursday we hang out after class. I try to make time for work, for the gym, for my school work, for my creative endeavors, and for my friends. All with the help of Google Calendar, of course. Every semester is a bit different. I meet new groups of people, and I experience new things. When I first started college I was 18, and now I can go out to bars on the weekends with those same friends I had back then. Things have changed, and so have I. I spend my time with people I’m comfortable around, and people who make me feel heard. Gone are the days where I forced myself to be around people who don’t respect me or my boundaries, the days where I overextended my social battery and pushed myself past the limit of what I was able to do. 

my favorite area to walk around in the morning before class, Beacon Hill. There’s a new cat cafe that just opened up!

What I’ve learned (and am still learning) in my time at school is the importance of communication—clear, concise communication. Specifically, drawing lines when needed. It can be especially difficult, because even when there’s plenty of “how-to-set-boundaries” guides online and in books, ultimately it depends on every person involved. I mean, everyone thinks differently, right? But being able to effectively communicate your boundaries is an essential part of friendship, and it’s something I’m still learning to do. Saying “yes” even when you’re scared can be so important, but sometimes saying ‘yes’ to everything can cause issues. The importance of “no” is just as crucial in friendships. Knowing yourself, your boundaries, your energy and comfort levels—staying aware of what you need will no-doubt help your relationships with other people— can be what makes the difference in a meaningful relationship. Real friends won’t expect you to bend backwards at their every beck and call. Saying “yes” to everything is just as problematic as the opposite—something else I learned in my first years at college. There’s a certain balance that’s different for everyone, but by staying in tune with your body and mind, you’ll be able to figure out what works for you. 

Human connections are the most important aspect of life. Even the most antisocial of us are social creatures. Our experiences, how we behave, and how we perceive the world are impacted by who we spend our time around. I’m trying to find the people I’ll spend the rest of it with, the people who make me feel like ‘me.’ I’m heading off into the so-called “real world” in just a few short months. I hear those first few months after college are going to be the “worst of my life,” which of course leaves me trembling in fear. But here’s the thing: sure people say it will be that, but I don’t think it has to be. There’s no point in my life I have to be at right now, or even next June or July—there’s no clear-cut blueprint for the point I’m supposed to be in my life by then. Or ever, really. I might feel lost, I mean, I feel lost now, months before I walk the stage at commencement. But taking a step back, I have to remind myself of what really matters. Life is about the relationships I form in my life, and the people I spend my time around. I think that’s true, at least. I’m only 22, I may need a few more years to figure out the meaning of life. But now I know that I’m capable of overcoming my fears, even if it takes a while. My outlook has changed and is still changing.

Enjoy 20% off at KongDog in Somerville with this coupon and a student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Tags:, ,
Posted in Family, Friendship, onCollege, onLove, onValues, Relationships, student discounts | No Comments »

Off-Campus and Out-of-Touch

Monday, November 4th, 2024

To be honest, I’m tired of always being in a transition phase. I’ve been moving from place-to-place, never fully settling down, since starting college. I think it’s something I’ll miss in the future when I feel stagnant, but these last few years I’ve been between school and home and back to school again. It’s gotten pretty exhausting. It’s a different room every year, with different roommates, working a different job depending on where I am. It often feels like as soon as I get a sense of routine, something has to throw it out-of-wack. This year is no different— yet again, I find myself in a different place, trying to figure it all out. 

I just recently moved into an apartment, and I’ve been commuting to school for the first time. I’d never firsthand dealt with the technicalities behind apartment renting, so that was a huge learning curve itself, as was figuring out the wifi (and whatever the heck a modem is), gas, electricity, etc. 

 It’s been a huge adjustment commuting to school, since I have to account for different train times and slow areas on the tracks. Even weeks into the semester, I wind up cutting it a bit closer than I intend to when on my way to class. I’m used to being so close to campus I’m practically able to get to class from my bed in minutes. It’s taking time management skills, which I’m still building up. 

I feel like I’m really learning what it means to be “on my own.” Everything is changing, and I’m about to face the most daunting transition phase of my whole life next Spring—graduating college. 

Local cat tests out the climb-ability of our new apartment

But for right now, I’m trying to enjoy it. If I think too much about what happens afterward, I won’t be able to stand it. “Where will I live?” “Who will I live with?” “Where will I be working?” They’re all questions on the forefront of my mind, and other peoples’ too—just this last weekend I went home for my birthday and got asked all sorts of questions about my plans post-graduation. But I’ve come to realize I can take things a bit more slowly, going step-by-step. I can enjoy my last year of college and spend time with the people I love, while keeping my future in the back of my mind.

There’s this book my coworker recommended to me called ‘The Art of Now” by Eckhard Tolle. In the book he talks a lot about living in the moment and “letting the universe work for you.” I’ve never given “the universe” much thought, but there’s a lot of really uplifting sentiments that I got from reading the book—and I’m not usually a huge nonfiction fan. It inspired me to make an active effort to stay in the moment, and to stay centered in the present even while applying for internships and jobs in the future. Making sure I see the people I care about, I let my creativity out, and I spend my time mentally relaxing and doing things I enjoy— all while maintaining my grades and doing all my work on-time. It’s definitely no easy feat, but most worthwhile things aren’t easy. I’m trying, at the very least.

Living off-campus definitely makes things feel a bit more distant. Everything and everyone used to feel so close. I’ve noticed it’s taking more effort to stay in touch with friends; it feels like everything’s  a bit out of my reach. Still, part of “staying in the moment” to me is staying in contact with people who help me enjoy the moment, like my friends, my girlfriend—the relationships that matter to me. 

Things seem to be going by so fast and I’m trying not to forget to enjoy it—even if there’s a lot of new, stressful aspects of my life, and even if I’m not completely sure where I’ll be this time next year. All I can do is be the best “me” now, so I can be the best “me” a year from now, for myself and everyone around me. 

Get 10% off at Cambridge Naturals with this coupon and a student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Tags:, , , ,
Posted in Family, Friendship, Housing spaces, onCollege, onLife, onLove, onValues, Relationships | No Comments »

Abroad, Inside, and Out

Friday, October 25th, 2024

Ever since I started at college, I’d had my heart set on this one study abroad program offered. Basically, Emerson owns a castle in Limburg, the Netherlands, where students live and study for a semester. It’s just as strange and simultaneously magical as you’d imagine. 

So naturally I applied my Sophomore year for the Spring semester my Junior year. It was far enough ahead that I told myself I could worry about it when it got closer to the time—it was a whole year away, after all! I had plenty of time to figure it out.

But when I got the list of people attending, I read through it and didn’t know a single name, which filled me with utter, unbridled dread. I’d be doing a semester with strangers– completely starting over and far from any familiarity I had with school back in Boston. The fall before I left I started thinking about dropping out. The thought of boarding a plane with a bunch of strangers sent this paralyzing fear through me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to deal with it all. But I was also thinking I’d never be able to do this again in my life. It was a one-time opportunity.

So I decided to go through with it, because I knew I’d be pissed at myself if I didn’t. How could I let my anxiety win over me like that, and steal away yet another opportunity presented to me? 

The view from my room in Well, the Netherlands

The first week abroad was just like orientation Freshman year—everyone rushing to make friends. A lot of people knew each other already too, and had established dynamics—both good and bad ones. It’s a small liberal arts college, you can imagine how it is.

 I decided this time I’d hang back a bit. I’d take it a bit slower, even if that meant I wasn’t as “successful” as I wanted to be in making friends. 

I realized while over there that I needed to stop thinking about other people and focus on myself. So that’s what I did. Those first few weeks I was in the library by myself until 2 or 3 in the morning every day. I sat there until the night watch came through and asked me to turn off the lights when I was done. For some reason, those are the memories that stick with me after coming home. 

 I decided in that first week that if I had one friend who I could eat some meals with and go on some trips with, that was enough. And I had made one, someone I sat next to on the plane. As time went on, I naturally found more people. It’s easier to find friends who suit you when you aren’t desperately seeking them out, bending over backwards to try and make them like you. It’s better to take things at your own pace.

From my trip to Amsterdam

In short, these three months abroad were the most fun of my life. Equally as stressful, too, but I’d go back and do it again in a heartbeat. The way you learn about yourself in unfamiliar situations and locations is something that you just have to experience (even if it’s not studying abroad, just going elsewhere and seeing other ways of living—it’s so important). Even if moving around and changing scenes feels overwhelming at times, pushing through that initial fear can be the most rewarding thing in the world. You just have to be wary of your limits and listen to yourself, your body, and your brain. That’s also something I learned while I was abroad. To know when to back out. When my spoons get too full. When to be brave and say “I quit, this is too much for me right now.” It’s a fine line that I’m learning to walk.

Who doesn’t love French pastries? Students get 15% off with this coupon at Le Macaron in Cambridge, MA!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Tags:, , , , ,
Posted in Family, Friendship, onCollege, onLife, onLove, onTravel, Relationships, student discounts | No Comments »

Am I the main character?

Monday, October 21st, 2024

I have always been waiting for my happy ending. Yet, it is just that: an ending. I am twenty years old, quietly anticipating the montage at the end of the movie: the one where the best friends hug, the lovers kiss, or the main character finally sees the world. But, what about the before? The inbetween? 

When I lived in LA, I could not stop thinking about Boston. From sixteen to nineteen, I felt pulled to the city. I dreamed of shedding my past, losing who I once was, and stepping fully into my authentic self. I felt deep in my bones that Boston was the catalyst. There was a story written for me here, and I had to go read it.

Now that I am here, though, I am presented with one big, fat in-my-face problem. I am scared of change. I like to think I am a mature enough person who doesn’t get freaked out by a six-letter word. In truth, however, I find myself struggling in its grasp, unsure of how to proceed. 

How do I be my most authentic self when I am so scared of change? The simplest yet most complicated answer is habits. Our habits dictate who we are. Once we learn a habit, it is hard to forget it. To become our most authentic selves—whoever we decide that is—we must shed not only the fear of change but our habits too.

I love seeing the leaves change!

In the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, there are four laws of behavior change to create better habits and to break an unwanted habit (it is important to not categorize anything as bad or good, as it hinders the ability to reinforce or get rid of the habit). 

To create a better habit, Clear writers that we have to: “(1) make (the cue) obvious, (2) make (the craving) attractive, (3) make (the response) easy, and (4) make (the reward) satisfying,” (55). When I was reading Atomic Habits, I placed the book on top of my bed every morning (making the cue obvious). Next, I held onto why I desired to read the book, which made the craving attractive. Thirdly, I set a goal of reading one chapter before bed each night; this was about ten pages. Lastly, I rewarded myself by reading a cheesy romance novel or doing a different, more relaxing activity afterward. 

On the other hand, to break an unwanted habit, Clear states that we have to “make (the cue)  invisible,” the craving unattractive, the response difficult, and the reward unsatisfying (54). When I want to study, I put my phone in one of my desk drawers (making the cue invisible). I also make sure it is on Do Not Disturb with the ringer off. Then, I make the craving unattractive by making my work environment more attractive: music on my computer, hot tea, comfy clothes, and good snacks. Thirdly, I make the response even more difficult; (placing it in a desk drawer makes the cue invisible and the response difficult). I add screen time locks to apps, and if I really want to pay attention to something, I may delete an app altogether. To make the reward unsatisfying, I remind myself of all the other things I would rather do than scroll on my phone, or how scrolling on my phone has wasted my time in the past causing me to fall behind on assignments. 

By using this formula we can break the habit loop (cue, craving, response, reward). Habit loop: we receive a cue from a specific time, location, smell, or other trigger, and receive a craving to complete an action based on that cue. We respond and we receive a reward (like dopamine). 

How does this relate to overcoming a fear of change? 

Sometimes we change without knowing it. We naturally grow as we get older with little conscious effort. However, we can also take a more practical approach to get past our fear and show up authentically. Changing our habits allows us to incrementally become the person we want to be. 

The first step is becoming aware of our habits. The next step is to implement intentions to change the habit (I will do x when the y situation arises). Then, we can start to break the unwanted habit or implement a desired habit using the formula above. However, according to James Clear, “the most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become,” (41). 

The Esplanade!

The Power of Visualization: 

One of my most recommended books is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book dives into the neuroscience of visualization and how we can use it to break free from our past selves, including our fear.  

One of the methods Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about is imagining ourselves completing the actions we want to take or wish we would have taken. For example, there have been situations in my life where I wish I stood up for myself, but I didn’t. The memories made me feel disempowered like I would never be able to stand up for myself in the future. So, I meditated on one of those memories. I remembered the feelings, environment, and scenario. Then, instead of letting the memory play out as it usually does, I visualized how I wish I would have responded: standing up for myself respectfully yet assertively. The memory has had less of a grip on me since, and I feel more empowered to stand up for myself in real life. 

When visualizing or meditating, we can often get intrusive thoughts. The key is to not engage with them. I like to think of myself standing in a room. Each thought is a bubble that passes through the room. My job, however, is to not touch the bubbles as they pass by me. In other words, we will always have thoughts in our head, but we do not need to engage with each of them, or any of them, especially when meditating. 

It is important to have balance, to not get caught up in visualizing what we want to be and what we wish we did. A good way to ground ourselves in reality is to set a time limit. Whether this is an hour-long meditation, or simply while washing the dishes or showering—remind yourself to be in the moment.

Between all of these practical approaches, we also need to accept and acknowledge our fear of change and feel it. We are unable to take any steps forward if we do not feel our emotions whenever they may arise. As mentioned, balance is key. We need to make sure we do not obsess over our perceived failures. Sometimes, saying out loud “I made a mistake and I am not happy about it,” taking a deep breath and choosing not to engage in those loud thoughts can really allow you to move forward unimpeded by feeling overwhelmed. 

Midterms have been stressful! Take some time to relax at Best MG Spa! With your student ID you can take up to 20% off!

Day by day, I am working on becoming my most authentic self. I change my actions, I take on new experiences, and I learn with compassion. Each day, my understanding of myself, my wants, my desires, my dreams, and of course, my dislikes, grows. Each day, I step into that main-character energy and bask in all that life has to offer. 

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

Share

Tags:
Posted in Family, Friendship, onValues, Relationships | No Comments »

Connecting and Disconnecting

Thursday, October 17th, 2024

I’m the king of FOMO, so I’ve been told. I say yes to practically everything, and I do what I think people want me to do. I’ve been trying to work on being realistic about how well my social battery is doing and how I’ll feel after a long night out; my battery drains pretty quickly, after all. My girlfriend always uses this analogy called “spoon theory.” How many spoons are you able to fill with the feelings and thoughts of other people before you overflow? You can only hold so much at the same time, after all. 

Whether it’s for your social life, school, or your job, you’re expected to be on-call almost constantly. You’re expected to be accessible to the outside world, even in the safety of your home. That’s the downside to modernity. Well, one of them. Not to get deep here. I think about it a lot, though. How different these times are to any other time on Earth. In my bed I get email notifications on my phone, group chat messages on five different apps, and reminders and notifications clouding up my lockscreen. It can be overwhelming being expected to answer to so many people all the time. 

Being exposed to so many people’s lives and thoughts at the same time can be overwhelming. I mean think about it—we humans know so many people nowadays, and are able to keep up with the people we’ve known throughout our whole lives with the tap of a finger. People I haven’t spoken to in years, or ever, still like my instagram posts. I always think, “Is it meant to be like this? Is this good?” I guess there’s no point in asking this question, since it’s just how things are.

Time off my phone and social media helps me stay sane. But on the other side, being able to connect with people is a part of life that’s so utterly essential. My phone undeniably makes that easier. It’s easier for me to keep up with my friends who’ve moved away, my parents after I moved out, and my girlfriend when I studied abroad. Every so often I call my friends who are living in LA to catch up. Being able to keep that relationship despite how many miles are between us is something that’s new to modern times, and is wonderful. 

A picture I took on a solo stroll down Commonwealth Ave in Boston

There’s pressure to constantly socialize in college especially. In that first year, there were times where I wouldn’t leave a friend’s room all day, and to be totally honest it’s because I thought that I had to do that. I started feeling drained, like I was losing who I really was to who I was around other people. Constantly putting on a performance without any time to rest, I felt pressure to attend everything I was invited to, even if it felt like a huge hurdle to overcome. There’s this fear of falling behind socially that happens no matter what kind of relationship it is. You don’t want to miss out on important parts of your life, after all. That’s how I felt. I’d never again be right down the hall from my best friends, so I had to make the most of it.

Simply put, that was stupid. I was exhausted and lost myself that year. So here’s my advice to you: deal with the FOMO! It won’t kill you. Lately I’ve been telling myself that. I’ve been skipping parties I don’t feel mentally ready to go to, taking time to walk around the city, and enjoying life all by myself just because I can. A little walk to get a coffee can make or break a day.

Even when I desperately want to attend something because I think it might be fun, I have to be realistic about my expectations. Will I really enjoy it? Are my spoons overflowing? 

I’ve been trying to focus on what makes me happy and keeping my priorities straight, because I’ve realized that that is what helps me maintain my relationships. If other people know my limits and are okay with them—well, that’s important in a friend, isn’t it?

Drop by Blick to get a student discount on art materials!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Tags:, , , , , ,
Posted in Family, Friendship, onFun, onHealth, onLife, onLove, onValues, Relationships | No Comments »

Why Letting Go is Essential

Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

There is something to be said about nostalgia. It’s a quiet perfume. Soft and sweet. Then, all of a sudden, stale and putrid. 

Every week, I sit in the common room with friends. I hear their laughter, teasing jokes, and lively discussions. When I look at them, ghosts pop out at me. Are they genuine, or like those I have been hurt by? I count their differences. I count their similarities. I take note. I crease the page of this memory, reminding myself to return to it later. I analyze it with a new lens, a new focus. Instead of being present, I am half stuck in the past, looking to confirm my fears, looking for that familiarity that I understand. 

Whether nostalgia or something stronger, the grasp the past holds on me leaves me constantly unfulfilled. I have always felt life was meant to be so much more than how it has been. That life is meant to be filled with adventures and sickeningly soft moments; if I am to do this thing called life, then why should it be just mediocre? 

Being stuck in the past prevents us from enjoying present experiences and having a fulfilled happy life. So how do we be more present? 

Everyone always asks me why I like rainy days. And I think: why should I enjoy a day any less just because it is raining? If anything it is an excuse to enjoy the small things in life (puddles and coffee!) all the more.

Step One: Let Go

When we consistently look towards the past and are reminded of it in negative ways that detract from our present experiences, we must first acknowledge and accept where we are. Often, I feel so much time has passed that I cannot truly still be affected by those things. But, ignoring the fact that I am indeed still affected by those things only hinders my healing. 

In this past year, I have tried to release my grip on the past. It has been hard. My therapist made me sit with myself and ask myself questions. She sat there in silent encouragement while I looked inward. I asked myself: why am I resistant to letting these memories go? I waited and eventually, I learned that to me, letting go of the experiences was almost like I was losing those people again and again. I queried further and with each response, I felt understanding. I granted myself self-compassion and  I was able to remove some of my resistance to moving forward. 

I then took the conscious steps forward to let go; this heavily focused on emotional release. When the past knocked on my door, I did not turn it away, nor did I openly embrace it, letting it consume me. Instead, I stared at it straight in the face, without judgment, and grieved. This emotional release alleviated much of the past’s control. 

In a similar fashion, when triggered, bringing up much more complex emotions regarding the past, I had to make space for my emotional release: to journal, to cry, to grieve, to be angry, and to surrender to the emotional wave, but to not to let it consume me. One way is through grounding techniques: breath work, tensing and releasing each muscle individually, planting feet on the floor, or spending some time alone in nature or with someone or something I love. After the wave crashes, I look towards my values, needs, and wants, so I may consciously make a decision that reflects myself and not my past and fears. 

Graphics from the T

Step Two: Be Present 

Life can be consistently overwhelming. There are to-do lists, pressures to be extraordinary, a desire to be perfect, and of course the dread of time. These things will likely always be there. So, to be present and enjoy life, the key is appreciating life for what it is. 

In her book, “Everything Beautiful,” Ella Frances Sanders writes: “There is almost always reassurance and meaning to be found in the smallest of things, in the smallest of beauties.” Sanders describes how appreciating the smallest things in life can bring comfort, and quiet serenity in the most overwhelming of moments. 

The squirrels always make my day!

After reading this book I set myself a challenge. Every day I would find at least one thing to find beauty in. I specifically mean the beauty of life and humanity. Sometimes this is the squirrels kneading the grass with their small paws, or an elderly couple walking through the park, or just the consistent sound of city-goers experiencing their lives in such a tight space that we are at once together and apart. 

Appreciating beauty in all its forms allows me to surrender to the present moment and find fulfillment even in the smallest things, and even during overwhelming times. This practice softens the creases in my heart and eases my worries about the future. Because even if everything is uncertain, there is always this: the beauty of life. 

Halloween is coming up! If you are feeling a bit strapped for cash and would love to support research, one way is to donate blood to RBC LLC. Be sure to drink enough water, get enough sleep, and eat a good hearty meal before you donate!

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

Share

Tags:
Posted in Family, Friendship, onLove, onValues, Relationships | No Comments »

« Older Entries