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Candle Ceremonies, Pinterest Boards, and the Art of Manifesting

Tuesday, March 4th, 2025

One of my closest friends was recently flipping through pages of her journal from a few years ago. She had written down manifestation statements back in 2021, setting up goals for herself to actualize in the next few years. “I’m so happy I was able to buy a house in the Dominican Republic by age 24” was one of them. “I’m so happy that, by age 25, I found someone who is right for me, loves me, supports me, and makes me a better person” was another. She cringed while reading them, but she also started tearing up because those two statements came true. 

I’m the kind of person that will try anything as long as it can’t hurt me. With manifesting, I always figured nothing necessarily bad could come out of it, so why not try it? When I first moved to Boston, I went to Salem and bought ‘magic’ candles from a witch store. They were color-coded to what aspect of life one wanted to manifest good things for: green for finances, white for peace, yellow for intelligence, and so on. I went home and lit the red candle, symbolic of love and attraction, and I let the wax melt onto a piece of paper where I had written about my crush on my now boyfriend. Did I feel silly, trying not to set off the fire alarms as I performed a ritual in my bedroom? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably. And THAT’s on girlhood.

My boyfriend’s and my new shoes: manifesting at its finest

I’ve been using the word ‘manifest’ a lot over the past few weeks, and the people around me have been using it as well. In our 20s, we’re all manifesting new jobs, better relationships, and internal peace. “Please manifest for me!” and “I’m manifesting it” and “Manifest good shit” have a surprising amount of hits in my text message results. I’ve never considered myself a believer of pseudosciences like astrology or chakra alignment, but I do think there’s something to be said about the mental energy that goes into getting what you want, along with the inherent determination that comes with it.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, to manifest is to “imagine achieving something you want, in the belief that doing so will make it more likely to happen.” The word ‘manifest’ was looked up almost 130,000 times on the Cambridge Dictionary website in 2024, making it one of the most-viewed words of the year. In the United States, the idea of manifesting has grown less taboo with time, with many people turning to it daily.

Today’s concept of manifesting can be traced back to the New Thought Movement of the late 19th century, which is based on the idea that our thoughts and beliefs can have an influence on our health, prosperity, and success. The New Thought Movement emerged in the United States and Britain, drawing influence from the literary transcendentalists, the celebrity mesmerists, and, most prominently, Hindu philosophy. In Hinduism, manifestation is connected to the belief in Karma, meaning that our thoughts, intentions, and actions directly influence our reality.

In 2006, Rhonda Byrne published a best-selling self-help book, “The Secret,” exploring the topics of manifesting and the Law of Attraction, which centers on focusing your thoughts and energy on positive desires to attract positive life experiences. “The Secret” went on to sell over 35 million copies worldwide. The rise of celebrities like Jim Carrey, Oprah Winfrey, and Will Smith speaking about their practice of and belief in manifestation aided the book’s sales and reputation despite its lack of scientific foundation. 

Manifesting was brought back into the mainstream media during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic, with people turning to the concept as almost a coping mechanism for the tough times ahead. During 2020, Google searches for the word ‘manifest’ rose by over 600%, and trends on social media skyrocketed with practices like positive affirmation statements and the 777 method. Pinterest saw a 565% increase in searches related to creating vision boards based on the cultivation of desired self-images. The conviction of social media participants seemed to be split in half, some manifesting comedically and others religiously. 

A few examples of the affirmation memes that circulated the internet during COVID.

From candle ceremonies to Pinterest boards, the art of manifesting today has become a staple in Gen Z’s self-care and wellness culture. New research from American Express reveals that nearly seven in 10 Gen Zs (69%) engage in manifestation practices, with over half saying it’s to help them achieve their goals.

While there is certainly no evidence to support the idea that manifesting gives you exactly what you want without any work involved, there are legitimate mental health benefits to practicing it. If we look at manifesting as not just a trend, but not a whole identity, either, we see that it can be something of a self-care practice, promoting positive self-talk, long- and short-term goals, and confidence in those who participate. Many of us are ‘manifesting’ without even knowing it.

Implementing manifestation tactics like positive self-talk, personal affirmations, and goal visualizations into our daily lives has been shown to improve self-esteem, stress management, and well-being, as well as reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. In studies by the National Institute of Health, self-talk specifically has beneficial effects on attention and emotion regulation and is widely used for performance enhancement in sports, academic engagement, and regulating anxiety or depression. Additionally, according to BetterHelp, “The latest research shows that the brain does not recognize the difference between real or imagined scenarios and that “rehearsing” future scenarios with visualization can build new neural pathways, calm anxiety, and increase confidence as you work toward your goals.”

Affirmation: I will catch the train on time. I will not miss the train and wait outside in 20-degree weather. The T is on my side.

Olympians across the globe have discussed the mental training that goes into achieving their dreams, from visualizing their race over and over again like Grant Holloway to posting manifestation statements on Instagram like Noah Lyles. It’s clear that the activities involved in manifesting are more than just wishing and wanting; they’re active steps taken to achieve one’s dreams. 

The truth is, when we show up our best, we do our best, both mentally and physically. If we are constantly telling ourselves that we don’t deserve something, that we aren’t good enough, or that we don’t believe in ourselves, it’s more likely we won’t even put the time or energy necessary into our goals. With that, how are we ever supposed to get what we want, or get closer to getting what we want? No one is saying you can just sit on your couch, light a bunch of candles, and wait for a million-dollar check to fall into your lap. Likewise, there’s nothing wrong with being mentally diligent and committed to your goals, either. 

I like to think of it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy, in a gist, is when what you predict to happen becomes what actually happens because it is what you expected to happen (I know, it’s a bit wonky). Basically, your actions end up aligning with your expectations. For example, let’s say I was going to a party, but I was afraid that no one was going to talk to me, and I wouldn’t make any friends. The self-fulfilling prophecy here would be that I went to the party, was too afraid to talk to anyone for fear of rejection, and consequently did not make any friends. I fulfilled the prophecy I set out for myself because I didn’t visualize a different outcome. It’s similar to people who say, “I’m going to fail the test anyway, so why even study?”

However, if I had told myself–whether it be by writing it down in a journal, visualizing the scenario in my head, or using positive self-talk to affirm my wants–that I was going to make friends at the party despite the chances of no one talking to me, I may have been more inclined to talk to people myself. I most likely would start up conversations with strangers and make friends via my own determination and confidence to get what I want. This is how I see manifestation: taking the time and energy to be specific about your desires and how you’ll fulfill them. “I will study, and my hard work will pay off.”

Of course, things don’t always go the way we want, and we can’t expect life to be all smooth sailing. We could easily talk to people at the party only to find out they’re kind of annoying and not really our speed. We could easily study all night and still fail the exam. We could easily be on time for the subway only for it to stand by at the stop before ours for 20 minutes. However, the point is that by focusing on the possible positive outcomes, we open ourselves up to opportunities that we may otherwise not have. If nothing bad can come out of it, why not give it a try?

Boston Students! Get 10% off at Cambridge Naturals with this coupon and a Student ID.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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The Benefits of Doing Things Alone

Wednesday, February 12th, 2025

Joanne and I sit next to one another at the theater for Life & Times of Michael K. As she stands up so I can take my seat, I compliment her tan faux fur hat and ski pants as a form of introduction. She is my height and frail, and her eyes have a smile to them that makes me inexplicably emotional. 

There’s silence for a few minutes as we settle in. I take pictures of the art deco ceiling and she reads the playbill. I play with my nails, and she smooths back her white hair into a thin ponytail, her hands shaking from an aggressive tremor. Then, when she takes a sip of her coffee, I gather up just enough courage to tell her this is my first time inside the Paramount Theatre, and I’ve made it a point to myself to do more things this year, even if it means doing them alone. I feel uncomfortable rambling to a stranger, but her smile has an earnest compassion to it, like that of a pre-k teacher listening to a child tell them about their weekend. Originally, she says, she was supposed to meet up with two girlfriends, one of whom is from Barbados and paid for her ticket. 27 degrees and overcast kept them at bay, but she loves doing things, too, anything to get out of the house, and she finds the theater especially “cathartic.” 

The Paramount Theatre before showtime!

Joanne tells me she’s been in Boston since ‘66 or ‘68, and she hardly ever goes back home to Minnesota because she finds it boring. There are valleys, however, along the Mississippi that she still dreams about, and great rolling hills and cliffsides. She sways her shaking fingers from side to side as she demonstrates the movement of the tall grass blowing in the wind. In her dreams, she goes everywhere, even the Notre Dame de Paris. She asks me if I liked growing up in Miami because it seems a lot less boring than Minnesota, but I tell her I don’t really like going back home either, and Miami reminds me of the girls in high school who had boating licenses and access to ketamine. I refrain from telling her my dreams often involve screaming because I want her to like me, the same way a granddaughter craves the approval of her matriarch.

When she finds out I’m a publishing grad student, she asks me what I think of the word ‘charming’ and whether it’s out of use. This is because she had a conversation about it with her siblings wherein she described one of her brothers as charming ‘even though he has brain damage’, and they found it weird to call someone with brain damage charming, so she’s been thinking about it ever since. I tell her I use the word charming relatively often, and I think it’s fine to describe her brother that way. She says I can call her Jo since that’s what her siblings call her, anyway.

Jo was a substitute teacher for a while and worked a bit in psychiatry, but she developed a neurological condition and has been retired for some time. After telling me this, she is quick to change the subject and mentions when she first came to Boston, she would go to all the libraries and bookstores and just sit there for hours and hours reading. She gestures with her hands in circular motions when she says ‘hours and hours’, and her eyes light up as she seems to regain a sentimental memory that has been out of thought for some time. Her brother also loves books, so they have a bond there. I tell her my brother and I were the first in our family to get degrees and they both happened to be in English, and she says it’s nice to have someone older than you who understands those things.

The best acting is at Central Square, and she prefers the interior design of the Paramount Theatre to the Opera House. She doesn’t know anyone in the mafia, but she knows a lot of Sicilians, and she doesn’t like their attitude. She says the only way to get used to the cold is to be in it often, and that rule applies to a lot of things in life. I’m not entirely sure what she means by this, but it sounds important.

The announcer comes on, and we quiet down. I am immersed in the play, but from time to time, my mind wanders to what Jo is thinking. There is something about her that reminds me of myself, though I can’t quite place it. In a way, I see her as an older version of myself, and I want to know her whole life story but feel too embarrassed to ask. I wonder if she’d think me a loser to ask her to coffee, as I’m sure when she was my age she didn’t want an old lady as a friend. I also wonder if she is going home to an empty apartment and might enjoy the company. 

Shakespeare in the Park from the first time I came to Boston by myself in 2019!

After the standing ovation, we slowly gather our things and put on our extra layers. I contemplate asking her what her plans are for the rest of the day, but as I shove my hands through the elastic of my jacket sleeves, she says, “It was nice to share a little bit of life with you.” I shake her hand and say “Maybe I’ll see you again at the next play,” and she agrees. As I’m heading down the stairs, she mispronounces my name in an attempt to remember it, but I don’t correct her, I just smile and say yes. I put on my earmuffs, open the theater door to the outside world, and cross the street to the cafe. I find myself waiting for her to walk out after me. I tell myself if she comes out within the next 5 minutes, I’ll run over to her and exchange emails. I wait for 10 minutes, but I don’t see her, so I leave. The whole encounter leaves me feeling refreshed and lost at the same time, like someone who takes their honeymoon alone. 

When I get off the trolley, I pass the local elementary school and baseball field. A flock of Canadian geese is resting in the milk-white snow, their long black necks coiled up into their feathers. They are sitting so still that they look like little pebbles. I think to myself that they must be stopping in from Quebec or New Brunswick, making their way down to Florida. 

I wonder if Jo enjoys the migrating geese in Minnesota, if they ever pop up in her dreams about the nature of her home state. I imagine a young Jo about 12 years old, sprinting through the Aspen Parkland prairies in the spring, her siblings at home waiting for her. The Canadian geese fly above her against the clear blue skies in a V formation. I make her hair blonde like mine, and I wonder if one day I will be in my 80s, trudging out through the snow to the Paramount Theater, alone. If I am, it will be an honor. 

Boston Students! Get 20% off at Nirvana in Cambridge with this coupon and your student ID.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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How to Stay Somewhat Sane

Tuesday, February 4th, 2025
Another week of trying my best to not end up like Georgina Sparks

It’s 6:30 p.m. on a Sunday, and I’ve just had dinner—sausage and roasted asparagus. I head upstairs to fold the laundry and hang my dresses as reality TV plays in the background. When I finally crawl into bed, I shed a tear, and then a few more, and then a lot more. With blurry vision, I find myself clicking “pay” on a transaction for vintage Coach ballet flats I don’t need, and then I pour myself a tall glass of Prosecco. With a damp sleep mask over my eyes, I fall asleep to the sounds of 40-year-old narcissists screaming over Andy Cohen. I toss and turn throughout the night, and when I wake up, I’m puffy, nauseated, and a bit disoriented. 

This past weekend, I had brunch downtown with my two friends. We waited outside in 30° weather for gourmet omelets and signature lattes (they were luckily worth it). In between conversations about crispy tofu and men with anger issues, my friend Grace asked us if we’d been to Pressed, which is a popular cafe with a main location in Boston. My friend Amber and I thought Grace said, “Have you guys ever been depressed?”

 Slightly caught off guard by the apparent switch of topics, Amber responded with comedic elegance, “Yes, but it’s seasonal, and I have a happy lamp for that.” I followed, “I mean, hasn’t everyone from time to time?” The miscommunication was sidesplitting once we realized Grace was talking about hot paninis and not mental health issues, but it did get me wondering how many people might be feeling some variation of downcast lately, whether it be because of the season, politics, issues in their personal or work life, or just their biology. 

The signature latte in question

January was, in essence, the taking down of cheerful holiday lights, the drives back to work that grow drearier by the day, and the slow realization that the insolent Jack Frost is here to stay. Many Americans start falling into the rut of being low-energy, negative, and struggling mentally. With an election year on top of it, the levels of stress and anxiety around the country have only served as the cherry on top.

Some of us turn to escapism tactics like online shopping and celebrity drama. All in good fun, too much of anything is a bad thing. One Sunday night of wine and tears is excusable, but frequenting such activities is—say it all together now—self-destructive and detrimental to our well-being. I may not have all the answers or even relatively decent ones, but I’ve decided a list of ways to stay somewhat sane this winter is as good a start as any. Like Voltaire said, “Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”

Immersing myself in art is always a great way to get out of my head and appreciate my surroundings
  1. Practice Daily Gratitude: 
    • Focusing on things we’re grateful for can help shift our perspectives and make us feel less overwhelmed, especially during challenging moments. Whether you write out a list or just say it to yourself as it comes, practicing gratitude can encourage you to remember what you have, no matter how small, and foster a sense of stability within you.
  2. Accept Your Emotions: 
    • Acknowledging our emotions instead of hiding or trying to change them can help us prevent emotional build-up. We shouldn’t judge ourselves for feeling upset but instead, accept our negative emotions for what they are and use them to navigate our life with more clarity. 
  3. Get Off Your Phone:
    • Taking a break from our phones can help reduce stress and anxiety by limiting our exposure to negative news and social media. It also allows us to be present and make deeper connections with what is right in front of us daily.
  4. Set Small, Achievable Goals:
    •  Setting small goals can lead to more celebrations that boost our confidence and make progress more satisfying. By breaking up our long-term goals into more manageable steps, we can make our dreams feel more attainable. 
  5. Laugh With Friends:
    • Getting together with friends provides us with a sense of belonging that can help offset the stressors in our lives. Additionally, our friends serve as a great support system that can lift our dopamine levels!
  6. Avoid Negative Language: 
    • Positive self-talk opens our minds up to the possibility of things going our way. If we are constantly looking for the bad in us and our surroundings, we’re more likely to find it in everything. This can cloud our perception and send us into a spiral. Oppositely, if we train our brains to look for the good first, we can actually lessen our anxieties.
  7. Get Yourself a Little Treat: 
    • Of course, rewarding ourselves with even something small provides a psychological boost and solidifies a method of self-care during tough times. It serves as a reminder that we deserve kindness and moments of joy, especially when we need it most.
  8. Ask For Help
    • If you’re feeling like your emotions are weighing heavier than you can handle, it’s important to reach out to a professional who can offer support. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you navigate through any kind of tough time. We don’t have to go through it alone, and there’s no shame in asking for help when we need it.
Have yourself a warm Sunday brunch at Cafe Landwer! Boston Students can get $10 off their first mobile order when they use the code LANDWERSTUDENT

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Just Around the Corner: Salon De Louie

Thursday, December 26th, 2024

Salon de Louie in the Financial District is the perfect spot if you’re looking for a modern, intimate salon with a warm and personal vibe. The space is small but clean and well-designed, with festive decorations that make it feel extra welcoming. You’re never just another appointment here—the staff take their time to listen to what you want and make sure you leave happy with your look.

What really stood out to me was how friendly and attentive everyone was. The stylists don’t just do your hair; they chat with you, tell stories, and make the whole experience enjoyable. It feels less like a chore and more like catching up with friends. If you’re looking for a salon that’s professional but still personal, I’d definitely recommend Salon de Louie.

Salon De Louie has partnered with the Campus Clipper to offer Pace University students a 10% discount when they show their valid student ID.

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On Holiday Rom-Coms and Life’s Impermanence

Tuesday, December 17th, 2024

Nora Ephron is my hero.

When I was 18, I watched When Harry Met Sally for the first time via a pirated film service that no longer exists. I was cold and confused in September in Chicago, bawling my eyes out to a relatable Billy Crystal and his somber evening with Mallomars and dubious soliloquies. By Christmas, I had seen it probably more than 10 times. 

First snow of the season for Boston!

During my undergrad, with several campus libraries at my disposal, I dove into everything Ephron had to offer. I watched all her films, I read all her books, I scoured the internet for her articles, recipes, and commencement speeches, and I solidified her as my writing idol.

Ephron’s use of humor paralleled with her examinations of mortality is something so valuable and necessary to make it through the harder parts of life. When Harry Met Sally’s witty dialogue makes the theme of impermanence a softer pill to swallow: Harry reads the last page of every book he buys first just in case he dies before he makes it to the end; Sally is petrified of eventually someday turning 40— “It’s just sitting there like this big dead end!”; Their awkward New Year’s kiss marks the end of their friendship and the beginning of their road to love. When we really look into it, the undertone of this fan-favored rom-com is actually quite pensive, reflecting on the various ways that people perceive the passing of time, especially in terms of love and loss. 

In Ephron’s novel, I Feel Bad About My Neck, She tackles the subject of getting older with the same irreverence, blending comedy with the melancholy of losing physical vitality. While Ephron is always funny first, there is an intense poignant edge to her reflections, and right when she seems to be getting almost too serious for comfort, she throws a lighthearted life preserver to her audience: “Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.”

My ideal Sunday morning: Watching Gossip Girl in my reading nook.

The holidays always make me think of Ephron. When the leaves begin to die and the possibility of snow shows up in the forecast, I start to see her writing at every turn. It makes sense: the coming together of family and friends (or lack thereof), the traditions lost and new, my birthday, and the end of another year— Not to mention I manage to be surprised by the threat of mortality every December. Sometimes it feels like the holiday parties and birthday celebrations are simply fun ways to cope with the end of an era, whatever that may be to us personally. It’s a good thing! I think movies are something of the same.

More than a holiday party or birthday dinner to mask the existentialism of the winter, sometimes what we’re really in need of is some self-care–on our own terms. When I think of self-care during the ‘ber months, I envision mornings laying in bed until 9:00 a.m. and watching You’ve Got Mail over biscuits and coffee (Yes, for me, 9:00 a.m. is late). Often, all we really need is to feel close to the little things in life that bring us joy. 

Speaking of things that bring us joy, The Carrie Bradshaw in me has been finding joy in new shoes, like these Berkleigh Blacks from Steve Madden. I quote, “When one door closes, a shoe box opens.”

Whether it be the general orchestrating stress of the holidays, the existentialism that comes with the seasons, or problems that hit closer to home, make sure you’re prioritizing your well-being this holiday season. For students in Boston, I’ve compiled a list of self-care activities for any kind of person, but all of which are quite Ephron-esque.

One of my favorite self-care activities last year was taking icy walks in the snow with the birds. I was freezing, but at least I saw some nature.

1. Visit a Cozy Café

Winter is the perfect time to enjoy a warm drink. Head to a local café like Tatte or Caffé Nero and treat yourself to hot coffee or cocoa, soups, and pastries.

2. Take a Winter Walk in the Snow

Bundle up and enjoy the beauty of a quiet winter walk through areas like Boston Common, The Public Garden, or along the Charles River Esplanade. The fresh air and peaceful atmosphere can be incredibly refreshing. Researchers claim just five minutes of exercise in green space or snow space can help your mental health.

3. Visit a Museum or Art Gallery

Spend a few hours at one of Boston’s amazing museums like the Museum of Fine Arts, Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, or the Institute of Contemporary Art (a favorite of mine!). Exploring art or history is both educational and a great way to escape the cold.

4. Take a Long, Relaxing Bath

When the temperature drops, there’s nothing like a warm bath to unwind. Add some Epsom salts, essential oils, or a bath bomb for extra relaxation. Light a few candles and play calming music to create a spa-like experience at home.

5. Attend a Yoga or Meditation Class

Winter can sometimes feel isolating, so attending a yoga or meditation class is a great way to stay grounded. Studios like Prana Power Yoga or YogaWorks offer a variety of classes, or you can find local options online for home practice.

6. Go Ice Skating at Frog Pond

If you’re looking for an outdoor activity, try ice skating on the Frog Pond in Boston Common. It’s a beautiful location to enjoy some winter fun. While you’re there, you can check out The Embrace sculpture and head over to Cafe Bonjour for some French cuisine.

7. Cook a Comforting Winter Meal

Take time to prepare a hearty, warming meal like a vegetable stew, chili, or homemade soup. Enjoying a homemade meal is a nourishing act of self-care, especially when paired with your favorite podcast or music.

8. Read a Book by the Fireplace

If you have access to a fireplace or a cozy corner, curl up with a good book and enjoy the warmth. Whether it’s a comforting novel, an inspiring self-help book, or even poetry, this is a perfect way to relax and unwind.

9. Treat Yourself to a Spa Day

You could book a facial, get a massage, or try a DIY spa day with hydrating face masks, hand scrubs, and foot soaks. Exhale Spa and MG Spa (which offers 20% off to students!) are great local spots to relax and rejuvenate.

10. Of Course, Watch a Movie Marathon or Binge a TV Series

In my opinion, there’s nothing better than snuggling up with blankets and watching your favorite movies or TV shows. Whether it’s a holiday classic or a binge-worthy series, winter is the ideal time to indulge in a cozy movie marathon with your favorite snacks.

Head to MG Spa for some self-care this winter and get 20% off with your student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Visiting the Ghosts of Your Journal’s Past

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2024

The seasons are changing, the sun is retreating, and midterms are looming. It’s time to buckle up for a serious talk on mental health!

When I finished my last journal, I remember flipping through the pages and seeing a lot of repetitive statements. On my worst days, I often wrote, “I wish I could get rid of these kinds of thoughts.” As someone who suffers from anxiety, I have a hard time turning my brain off, especially if it believes something terrible could happen. I dwell over a lot of What-ifs that are outside of my control, which often leads me to worry constantly. When I have more intense anxiety attacks, I have a tendency to mull over the same existential crisis, “What if this is going to be the worst day of my life?,” for hours until I reach some kind of resolution; sometimes this is just the day coming to an end and I thankfully realize nothing bad happened. By that point, I am grateful, but I am also emotionally drained.

Rereading my journal was a hard pill to swallow. While I was aware most of my journaling takes place when I’m not doing well, I had difficulty facing the fact that maybe I wasn’t doing as well mentally as I had thought. Wishing I had seen more “Today, I have felt great,” or “I felt anxious, but I was able to overcome it and enjoy my time,” I also felt disappointed in myself for not writing more appreciation for the little wins I experience daily. I immediately realized I wanted to work towards rewiring my brain to think positively first rather than with worry and panic. When I brought it up to my therapist, she said it was important that I recognized my thought patterns, as now we could work towards dismantling them–fun times!

Hands-on activities like painting, building, organizing, and decorating help me relieve my anxiety and feel more in control of my thoughts.

Visiting the ghosts of your journal’s past is not always a happy-go-lucky experience. On one hand, it can be hilarious to reread journals from 5 or 6 years ago, laughing at the things you used to think were problems, or even just the way you wrote (“Oh my gosh, the way Matthew constantly touches his crotch is like, SOOOO icky”). On the other hand, rereading your journals can be an eye-opening experience that brings about a new level of self-awareness. It can show your growth, or it can show you that maybe you need some extra help. 

What I learned from rereading my journals and talking about it with my therapist was that I experience unwanted, intrusive, and repeated thoughts that cause anxiety. Because of this, I need to take active measures to recognize my anxious thoughts versus my actual thoughts. I challenge my anxious thoughts, stay active, and, most importantly, give myself compassion. Luckily, my journal is a great outlet to do so.

When I journal for help with my anxious thoughts, I usually start by reminding myself that while anything can technically happen on any given day, the worst outcome is not the most plausible one. I take time to write down, “I guess today could be the worst day of my life, but it is far more likely that today will be a beautifully ordinary day, so I should focus on that instead.”

Additionally, sometimes I write out all my worries on paper so they feel less scary. I find that saying your fears out loud, writing them down, or talking them through can help you face them, process them, and eventually turn them into personal growth. It’s also important to write what you hope for. For example, one could write, “I have anxiety, and I fear something awful will happen today that will cause me immense pain, but I know that is far from likely, and I am actually just being triggered by ____ ____ and _____. I am strong, everything will work out the way I intend it to, and there’s no valid evidence to suggest otherwise.” At the end of writing out my worries, I add “The End” to close off all of my worries and end the cycle of thoughts. Usually, I’m left feeling like I’ve done all that I can, and I have to be content with that for now.

Going on walks and listening to podcasts (currently obsessed with Giggly Squad!) also helps me lessen my anxious thoughts.

What I’ve also practiced in my journal is writing mantras. These help me challenge negative thoughts and build confidence in myself against my existential anxiety. I also say these mantras out loud when I do not have access to my journal. I tell myself “My fears are not my reality” and “I am in charge of how I feel, and today I choose happiness.” It may feel odd at first, but it does help! We may not have control over most things, but we do have control over how we respond to the world around us.

While these are just a few journaling techniques, there are many more that can be helpful for those struggling with their mental health, or those just having a bad day in general.

As you move about your day, remember that no one is perfect. Give yourself the grace you deserve, and prioritize your mental well-being. Life can be very overwhelming, which is why finding tools (plural!) to help us through the harder moments is so important.

On the topic of mental health, don’t impulsively cut your hair and regret it! Go to a professional and get a new ‘do at Pathos Salon! 15% off for first-time customers with student IDs.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Today I Wanted to Throw Things (But I Wrote Instead)

Friday, October 18th, 2024

Drumroll, Please.

Today, I want to talk about the patriarchy (Run!).

As I have gotten older, I’ve become more and more startled by the sexism I’ve endured. I always naively assumed that these experiences would diminish as I got older. When I was a teen, I thought being an adult meant men would finally start to think with the heads on their shoulders. Between the ages of 18 and 22, I shamefully let a lot of college guys off easy. In reality, they deserved a punch in the right place, and it was all for the same reason: It was ingrained in me to think “Well, they’re just boys, right?” equating them to dogs that keep shitting on the carpet well after their puppy years. I also didn’t want to be the girl with a problem who was no fun because she couldn’t take certain “jokes,” or the girl who cared too much about right and wrong. Now, at 24, I am finally and simply beside myself. There is no other way to put it. I keep thinking about how the mistreatment of women gave rise to James Tiptree Jr.’s Houston, Houston, Do You Read?, a story where men no longer exist and the effects of the patriarchy are long forgone.

In the past few years, what has surprised me the most is the number of women I’ve met who perpetuate the patriarchy: women who’ve belittled me because I’m younger than them so my presence makes them insecure about their age: women who believe being unmarried makes my value as a person decline; women who objectify and shame each other, and unapologetically support men who do. 

I have just started my third year of teaching at a new school, and there is no AC. The classroom I teach in faces the afternoon sun. When I started working in September, temperatures reached well above 85 degrees Fahrenheit inside. After about a week of suffering in slacks, I wore business casual shorts. The fabric went past my fingertips when I put my arms down by my side—adhering to the school’s dress code policy. I even asked my boyfriend if he thought they were fine, and he said yes. Despite other female teachers wearing skirts and dresses the same length to no complaint, I was pulled into the office by an older woman in the administration. She said, “You’re new and so young, so you’re already drawing attention from the parents. You wouldn’t want to give people the wrong idea, too.” I froze. I think eventually I just said, “Okay.”

We are not always in such a privileged position to say what’s on our minds. Though we’d often like to let people have it without facing some kind of consequence, life doesn’t work that way for the majority of us. Let’s not forget, too, that BIPOC communities and women are often punished more harshly for the same mistakes as white men in the workplace. The things some men got away with doing and saying at my old jobs without even a pat on the wrist were absurd. The number of women I saw get let go for less harmful or comparable instances was worse. 

When you’re angry, it’s good to get out and enjoy nature for a while.

What’s Your Damage, Heather?

Believe it or not, this is not some exposé of the U.S. education system and its flaws. The sad fact is that I’ve simply had a very ordinary epiphany. I guess I’ve fully realized that the patriarchy is everywhere, toxic masculinity is everywhere, and I am just another young woman who’ll have to deal with it for the majority of my lifetime. After the shockwave of this realization subsided, all I wanted to do was curse out every person around me.

When we desire to hurt those who have hurt us, what are our options? Which ones leave us in the healthiest position (with the smallest chance of getting arrested)? 

In an NPR interview last week with Rachel Martin, Margaret Atwood said, “I’m quite vengeful. I can’t help it. It’s who I am. So I make [critics] into idiotic people in fiction.” This idea of rerouting your anger and using it for creative, internal gain is similar to rage journaling. 

Rage journaling, where you write out all your nasty anger until it diminishes and some clarity of mind creeps in, is less preferable to, let’s say, smashing someone’s windshield. This is because we crave a physical, visual outcome that satisfies our primitive need for control and dominance. If someone breaks us, we want to see them, or something of theirs, break as well. 

Obviously, we can not and should not resort to violence or outward aggression that is directed at and negatively impacts other living things. Therefore, using a rage journal can be a cost-effective and healthy way to help you let out your anger safely. It can also fuel your creativity when writing antagonists for your novels!

In my journal, I curse people out, call them names, tell them their mother would be disappointed in them, and the best part is I can still face them the next day not feeling guilty, embarrassed, or knowing that my last check has already come in the mail. Rage journaling validates your emotions, gives you time to process your feelings, let your anger out, and learn how to proceed with a conflict in a more appropriate manner. Overall, if you rage journal first, you can choose, to respond with rationality as opposed to heated emotions.

That being said, if you are someone like me who has anger that can’t be disposed of because it concerns the world and how it works, rage journaling is not a one-stop solution. Rage rooms are a good supplement. So is exercise, especially boxing. Screaming into a pillow is cathartic, too. Therapy is a must.

Me sunbathing, fully clothed, during my lunch break.

Truthfully, you should also stand up for yourself when you get mistreated, in the workplace or otherwise.  If you find yourself repeatedly having to rage journal or having to explain to someone else how their actions have caused harm and you’re still being treated unfairly, that is a whole other story. At that point, it could be time for HR to step in, or some kind of higher authority with the power to make things right, even if you do have to bring representation in. While we don’t like to think about things getting that out of hand, it’s important to recognize the severity of a situation and evaluate the best course of action.

The hope is that we can rage journal, show up to work the next day, and have a productive conversation that changes things for the better. It is important to try to handle conflict with patience, clarity, and logic, and sometimes that is hard to do if you are blinded by anger or hatred. At least your journal will never yell back at you.

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Dear No One: Letters That Stay Unsent

Monday, October 7th, 2024

I’ve written a fair share of letters in my day. It’s the romantic in me who feels written words, those that are so exquisitely accurate in their portrayal of love and loss, are the pinnacle of my existence. If I love someone, I have to write to them; it’s instinctive. This doesn’t mean, however, that I send all or even the majority of the letters I write. That is the coward in me, too afraid people will hold me to the words I write at a specific moment in time, too embarrassed to have a crowd of recipients holding physical evidence of my admiration for them.

As a general rule, the best course of action for most situations is to be honest and share your feelings with others. If you love them, admire them, miss them, are happy for them, or want to let them know you’re thinking of them, then, by all means, send them a letter! As long as you are not hurting anyone by sending this letter, there is no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. More importantly, you could make someone’s day. For me, nothing is more touching than receiving a handwritten letter from someone I care about. When I die, bury me in a coffin full of all the letters written to me.

Sometimes I do work at Emerson, sometimes I take a whole meeting room to myself and take selfies in the sunlight. First come, first serve.

A different truth is, of course, that life goes on. People hurt one another, lose touch, or slowly fade into the background of one’s existence. Things are constantly fluctuating, changing in ways we can’t prepare for. We are so busy! Work, school, internships; new friends, new subway lines, new bars; a big love, a big house, a big quarter-life crisis. Our minds are often scrambled, just trying to get through the motions of everyday life and enjoy it as it comes. Then, it creeps up on you, that random Friday afternoon. You hear a song you haven’t heard in a while, and it brings you back to a few years ago. Time freezes as you relive a life that you are so far removed from you wonder if it was ever even yours. Now, you’ve found yourself missing people you shouldn’t, realizing the window of opportunity to reach out has long passed, rightfully so. You’re flooded with nostalgia, rose-colored and inflated. Pouring your heart and soul out to them now would be more than wrong. 

Alexa, play ‘Bad Idea, Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo. Let this be a call to all the dewy-eyed girlies: Do NOT listen to that voice in your head telling you to make a harmless phone call to people who’ve hurt you. You have an alternative, and while it may not be as riveting of a story to tell at the cute cocktail spill-all, it is the healthier thing to do. The past is in the past, and you will never get it back, nor should you want to! More importantly, you are not the person you once were, and that is a good thing. Understand, too, that sometimes it is simply fun to reminisce, to repaint the past with the fresh perspective of a refined frontal lobe, but that doesn’t mean you should run with your naivety, expecting a new rendition of your past to become your reality.

A photo I took of two kids hanging out in Seaport, 2022.

Such circumstances as these are the perfect times to write a letter that is purposefully intended to not be sent anywhere. You can say everything you want to say, feel everything you want to feel, and simply tear it up (or burn it, which is thrilling!) when you’re done reading it over. There’s no regret, no embarrassment, no hurting others by bringing unsolicited memories back into fruition, and no risking your current peace. This is your chance to leave the “But What If?” to die. 

That being said, my favorite place to write letters I’ll never send is in my journal. Sometimes I will rip the pages out, crumble them, and toss them in the recycling bin. Other times I will leave them in my journal to look back on. I have also burned a few. Occasionally, I type them up and pretend I’m Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, but I usually just put a lock on the document until I feel I’ve outgrown whatever  I wrote down, and then I trash it. I’ve even dropped a few letters in the mailbox with no return or send address. One, I’m not proud of is when I sent a letter down a river, which was environmentally careless, but I was desperate for some kind of cinematic, main character energy to justify my emotions (Ah, to be 18 again). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you write your letter or in what way you discard it afterward. As long as you get the cathartic release you need, you’ve done yourself some good, and you should be proud.

Get arts and crafty this fall and save 10% at Blick with a student account!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Delulu is the Solulu: Journaling for Creative Expression

Monday, September 23rd, 2024

Contrary to popular ‘film bro’ belief, you actually do not need to take psychedelics to unlock your inner creativity. Among the many ways one can use journaling for personal wellness, arguably one of the most popular is to explore creative expression. Often, the idea of journaling is met with the stereotypical image of a teenage girl in her bedroom, feet swinging in the air, a smile on her face, and a familiar “Dear Diary…” monologue that almost always includes a crush on a boy (because what else could women possibly have to think about, right?) However, journaling doesn’t have to be all touchy-feely-existential-dread all the time; it can be a strategic machine that helps writers, lyricists, filmmakers, artists, and other creators overcome their mental blocks and find inspiration. 

A photo I took around this time last year of gloomy autumn weather.

One of my favorite ways to stay in tune with my creative writing is doing something I call “The Five Senses.” When I journal in the evening, I usually recount the most prominent events and feelings I encountered that day. “I am absolutely exhausted” shows up a lot. “Today at work…” is another popular one, unfortunately. But sometimes this can take away from the actual sensations I experience on a second-to-second basis—all the little things that make life so beautifully sappy. I write down the five senses and try to describe the most influential senses I experienced or the ones that brought me the most joy. Here’s an example from my journal from this past Thursday:

Sight: Dark, gloomy overcast. Wet asphalt. Tiny raindrops on the passenger seat window. 

Smell: Orange citrus from my vitamins. Potent, nauseating, artificial.

Taste: Curry tofu, sweet and spicy, rich, crispy. soft, chewy potatoes. Savory, satisfying. 

Touch: My boyfriend’s 5 o’clock shadow. Prickly, comforting, endorphin-releasing, lovely.

Sound: Autumn Lo-Fi Jazz I play at work to concentrate. Soothing, familiar, easy. 

This technique helps me describe sensations in more detail, easing my transition from journal writing to creative writing. It also helps me stay present and appreciate all of the wonderful things happening around me, which is definitely needed in a world like today’s. 

love love love curry tofu in the fall.

Some other prompts can help you think more outside the box. If you need a creative spark that’s going to really turn some heads, consider getting a journal prompt book, which is available online and in stores for cheap. You can also find prompts on the internet and use those once a week or month for your journaling practice. Some examples include:

  • Make a list of questions you would ask a future version of yourself. Which version would you want to speak with the most?
  • Choose a random object in your room. What characteristics do you have in common with it, metaphorically and physically?
  • Invent an impossible tool that would make your life more efficient or interesting.
  • Imagine you get the chance to be any animal for a day. Which animal would you pick, and what would you do?
  • If you could visit the past, where would you go, and what would you do there?

Another popular way to unlock your creative expression is to free write. This is a technique where you time yourself and write down whatever comes to mind without pausing to think or erase anything. I often free write with a time limit of five minutes, although it’s not uncommon to lengthen your session. Sometimes when I read over my free-write, it is purely gibberish and more of a stream-of-consciousness than anything. Other times, I realize there is a pattern of thought going on in my brain, and that pattern might be a good topic to explore in my writing. 

Let’s not forget that journaling is a form of creativity in itself. Annie Ernaux, a French writer who won the Nobel Prize in Literature in 2022, published her diary entries as a collection titled “Getting Lost.” The book was listed as one of the best books of 2022 by the BBC and a must-read by Time. It is a favorite of mine for its honest portrayal of emotional vulnerability.

Overall, there are a ton of ways to participate in journaling as a means of creative expression. You may need to try a few to see which ones work the best for you, but once you find your niche, you’re sure to flourish.  

Calling all Boston students! Welcome the chilly fall season with some piping hot Indian cuisine from Maharaja’s in Cambridge, and take 20% off with a student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Why Journal, Anyway?

Monday, September 16th, 2024

I consider my first journal entry to be a Tumblr draft I wrote at 14 years old. I remember being vaguely frustrated with my friends, with being a freshman in high school, and with feeling unironically superior to everyone around me (teen angst if you will). In the stairwell of my mom’s old run-down Miami apartment—the paint peeling and the mold accumulating by the second—I took out my phone. Tears in my eyes and cheeks flushed, I began typing a blog post about how incredibly annoying everything and everyone was. I knew I wouldn’t post it, but I just wanted to lift what seemed like the weight of the world off my chest. Putting all my frustration into a Tumblr post also made me feel like I had some kind of control: I could, if I really wanted to, post it and tell my friends to screw all, or I could save it as a draft, hold onto it in case I ever felt like it was worth someone else’s eyes.

Photo of me (16) taken by my sister on my high school football field.

Luckily, my anger subsided once I finished writing, and I saved the post as a draft. From that moment on, I created a habit out of what I would now deem journaling. I wrote in my Tumblr drafts every time I had intense emotions, opinions I was too afraid to speak, or ideas I wanted to contemplate in secret. I felt like I was building a world from within myself that also existed outside of me. I was able to process my life through writing, and it helped me with all the raging emotions and confusion of my teenage years. The first person to lay eyes on the details of my first kiss was not a person at all, but rather my drafts. I felt like I had power over my life via recording the most major and minor details of it. 

The day I turned away from my Tumblr journal was the day I accidentally posted a draft, and that draft just so happened to include a rather repugnant, word-vomit rant about a close friend of mine (“She’s just like, soooo whatever”). I had gotten so comfortable with the idea of sharing my inner thoughts in my drafts that I forgot about the possibility of them becoming public. Once posted, I quickly deleted the journal entry, but my stomach was in knots, and a wave of guilt tackled me for how ill I had talked about my friend, how hurt she would be if she saw it. From then on, I moved my drafts to a Pages document on my laptop, which I put a passcode on. By the time I graduated high school, my Pages document, which I titled “The Drafts,” had accumulated 250,000 words.

A photo from my first visit to the Boston Public Library, 2016.

When I started my Bachelor’s degree at the University of Florida, I moved on to pen and paper. Many times I found myself on campus, itching to write and with a dead laptop, so I started scribbling on engineering paper the Reitz would reluctantly give me. This prompted me to buy a notebook, and then another, and then another. I know all too well how cathartic and romantic it is to hold your thoughts and feelings in your hands.

I have since lost the coming-of-age treasure that was The Drafts in the midst of life falling apart and putting itself back together, as it sometimes does. I do, however, have my physical journals from the last 5 years of my life. It is a privilege—and a cringe fest, to re-read them. Know always that if you decide to start journaling, no one can judge what you write but you, and even you shouldn’t judge the contents of your journal. It’s a safe space for you and only you, if that is what you wish. 

Now that I’m 24 years old and in graduate school, my intention for journaling changes day by day. Sometimes I journal for emotional processing and release, other times I journal just to have something to look back on. No matter your reason for journaling, and no matter what platform you use, it can serve as a tremendous tool—it is always there whenever you need it. There’s no right or wrong reason to journal; if you have a reason at all, that’s enough to get you started. 

What better place to get started on your journaling journey than Caffé Bene? Boston students get 10% off with their student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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