Archive for June, 2019

Chapter 1 – Growing Up Lonely

Friday, June 28th, 2019

I was a weird kid growing up. I don’t mean sit in the corner and pick my nose weird, but I did spend a lot of time alone. Too much time alone.

Whenever kids asked me to play, they would reach for their Hot Wheels, dinosaurs, and dolls. Out of the three dolls were the absolute worst. I remember girls would dress them up, give them names, and even come up with background stories. Like, this is Amber, she’s a model for Limited Too, and she’s dating Chad. I always thought that was so stupid. Why am I pretending an inanimate object is real? It wasn’t until Toy Story that I started to second guess myself, but that’s beside the point. I preferred coloring or having DMCs, also known as deep, meaningful conversations. I was a child but oddly, I behaved like a grownup.

It was difficult fitting in with my age group, and on the off chance I met someone I got along with, it would be impossible to see them outside of school. Both of my parents worked full time, so they didn’t have the opportunity to drive me around to a friend’s house or to the mall. I was at home watching television or talking to my nanny most of the time. She was probably the only person who really knew me back then.

When my little brother Anthony was born in 2005, things changed. I had a built-in best friend. He was the cutest, chubbiest baby, and I was obsessed with holding him. My parents love to remind me that when the doctor announced it was a boy, I threw a tantrum.

I screamed, “Why? I don’t want a brother! Give me a little sister.”

The doctor had to calm me down before I alarmed any patients.

He explained, “A little sister will steal your clothes, wear your make-up, and annoy you a lot more than a little brother. Trust me.”

Well, the doctor was right. My brother was definitely annoying, but he was nothing compared to some little girls I knew. For some reason, little girls love to “do” your hair. At least, my brother never turned mine into a bird’s nest. Instead, we invented games, like the sock game, where we both start off wearing a pair of socks, and the first one to take off the other person’s socks wins. I believe I beat him every match, but I know he’d fight me on that. Over time, my brother became one of my closest friends.

Fast forward several years to middle school, and I still hadn’t found my niche. I would hang out with this group of girls because we had the same classes, and they lived one bike ride away. Nonetheless, there was constant drama within our friend group.

“She doesn’t like me? Well, f*** her. I don’t like her either.”

Even though we enjoyed talking about school and boys together, all the gossip and negativity weighed me down. I swore to myself that in high school I would escape the drama and focus on my grades. It was a dream of mine to get into a good college and make my parents proud. When they emigrated to the United States from Brazil, my mom had her high school diploma but my dad had barely finished middle school. Neither of them spoke English, and they worked day and night to give me and my brother the life we live now. Inspired by them, I said I would be the first of our family to go to a university, and that’s exactly what happened. I spent all my high school years stressing over SATs/ACTs, Advanced Placement exams, and essays. During the college application season, I wouldn’t have anyone to guide me through the process. I would have to wander through unknown territory on my own, so I began preparing early.

Because I was busy studying all the time, I missed out on many high school experiences: parties, relationships, and random, late nights with friends. I cried of loneliness and fear of missing out (FOMO) hundreds of times. At night, I would lie awake uncontrollably sobbing into my pillow so my parents couldn’t hear me. I felt alone, unloved, and unhappy. Obviously, that wasn’t the case. I had a wonderful, supportive family that cared for me, but I also had the habit of catastrophizing. In future chapters, I will talk about how I dealt with these issues.

I regret not having as much fun in high school, but the hard work eventually paid off! I was accepted to New York University (NYU), which was a huge accomplishment at my high school. Most people commit to our popular state school, Rutgers University, or a community college. The handful of students who attended a prestigious university or left the state were applauded. Never did I expect to be one of them.

I was about to embark on a life-altering journey.

———————————————————————————————————
Thayz Queiroz is a junior at the NYU Gallatin School of Individualized Study. Her concentration is a mixture of psychology and sociology with a focus on human behavior and why people commit crimes. She plans to attend law school upon graduation and looks forward to what the future holds. Completely unrelated, her book “Miss Independent is Taken” is about the transition from being single to starting a relationship. In her book, she shares her personal struggles with confidence, school, and love. Thayz has faced many obstacles, some discouraging and others inspiring, the past three years of college. By the end of her book, she reveals the lessons she’s learned in hopes that it will help other young adults.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Trying to figure out… Food Situation

Friday, June 28th, 2019

Food becomes an afterthought real quick once you hit college. Without the reminder of someone providing food or carved out meal times, many college students don’t eat. When they do eat, it’s not even close to the realm of something healthy. This problem usually gets worse during midterms and finals seasons, when many deadlines pile up. It’s hard to keep up and usually, food is the first thing that gets skipped.

At NYU, I found that most students live off events with free food, especially freshmen. For commuters, if you don’t have a meal plan, figuring out what to eat is a struggle.

During my first semester of college, I would go an entire day without eating. I would come home after a long day of classes and just collapse on my bed. While laying in bed trying to muster the energy to start my homework, I would hear low rumblings. Then at times, there would be a loud churning sound. Only then would I register how hungry I was. I’d replay my day to figure what was the last thing I ate. The answer usually was an Eggo waffle with my morning coffee. I soon realized after many repeated moments the insidious nature of my eating habits and mindset. Not only is this practice unhealthy, but it also makes getting through school much harder.

Some things I’ve learned from commuting the past three years:

  • Bring lunch with you whenever you can. 
    • There are plenty of places on campus where you can use a microwave to warm up your food. Additionally, there are sinks and water dispensers if needed. (Commuter lounges are set up for that purpose)
  • Bring snacks on those days when bringing lunch isn’t necessary or takes up too much space in your bag.
  • Stay hydrated! 
    • Carry a water bottle. Maybe a collapsible one that will take up less space once you finish it. Flavor it with limes or fruit if drinking plain water isn’t working for you.
  • Build in reminders.
    • Check in on others and have them check in on you. Find a food buddy to keep you conscious of meals. It helps if they are a foodie or health conscious to keep you on that track.
    • Put reminders or alarms on your phone to eat. It forces you to think about your body and its need for sustenance.

From NYU Steinhardt Bio Page

Marion Nestle is the Paulette Goddard Professor of Nutrition, Food Studies, and Public Health at NYU. She teaches courses that range from food writing to food advocacy to topics in food sociology. She has written plenty of articles and books on the topic of nutrition and the dynamics of food in our society. Her philosophy when it comes to approaching food is that “Healthy diets are good for whatever ails you, including stress.”

Here are some points she suggests to keep in mind when thinking about food:

  • Most important fruits and vegetables. Eat the ones you like best, but it’s good to vary them as much as possible.
  • No easy way to say this, but eat less. Weight gain is about excessive energy intake. To keep your energy in balance, choose smaller portions and avoid snacking in between meals.
  • If you like coffee or soda, drink it, but recognize how much caffeine it has and how much is tolerated. I don’t generally view coffee as a problem except when it is excessively caffeinated. Shots are another matter; it’s best to avoid them.
  • Approach food with the mindset of it being life’s greatest pleasure. Eating healthy is so easy that the journalist Michael Pollan can explain how to do it in seven words: Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.

————————————————————————————————————

By Sanjidah Chowdhury

Sanjidah is a rising senior at NYU Steinhardt majoring in applied psychology. She aspires to become a mental health counselor to understand intergenerational dynamics and better serve the needs of women, Muslims, and the South Asian community. She currently works with NYU’s Office of Alumni Relations. Throughout the academic year, she works on a research team under Professor Niobe Way and volunteers for Nordoff -Robbins Center for Music Therapy. Most of the time you can find Sanjidah with her nose in a book and music blasting through her headphones. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Eating Halal in New York City

Thursday, June 27th, 2019

Adjusting to college life is hard, whether you live on campus, off-campus, or at home. We are barely adults and still teenagers as we are thrust into the beginnings of the real world starting off our independent lives. One of the hardest aspects of of adjusting to this new lifestyle is adjusting your diet and eating habits. College is hectic, and sometimes between classes, assignments, work, internships, and extracurriculars, your diet and eating habits seem to be buried in the back of your mind. It’s hard when you no longer have a meal plan and have to provide for your now food whether it be by eating out at restaurants or making food on your own at home. It’s even harder to build good eating habits when you have dietary restrictions that limit your options.

Zabihah is a religious dietary restriction that Muslims follow, though not necessarily all Muslims. One level of eating halal is a restriction go what kinds of meat you can consume, with the most well-known of these forbidden foods being pork. Another level of eating halal is eating zabihah halal, which is when the meat is slaughtered in a certain way with a certain prayer/blessing. 

I am strictly zabihah halal. Due to this dietary restriction, I had a hard time navigating my diet at first. I definitely had it easier than other Muslims college students as a commuter. I did have home cooked food available to me that I didn’t have to make myself during the weekends. That doesn’t mean it still wasn’t hard. I didn’t have a meal plan, and while the food at university dining halls were still available, it is definitely more expensive without a meal plan I ate 1-2 meals a day five days a week on and around campus, and all of those meals needed to be zabihah halal.

I was lucky that I lived and went to school in a city, specifically New York City, and I actually did have a variety of halal restaurants and food carts to choose from near my campus and all around New York City. There is everything from Middle Eastern food to burgers to Mexican food and so much more. These 10 restaurants are just a few of those options

Image Credit: https://www.businesswest.co.uk/blog/halal-asia

  1. Burgers by Honest Chops is a small burger place located in Midtown by Washington Square Park. There are only a few things on the menu, but all the options are absolutely wonderful. (My personal favorite thing at Burgers by Honest Chop is their truffle fries.) Not only that, but they also have a students discount with a valid student ID.
  2. The Soul Spot is a soul food (as suggested by its name) and Caribbean restaurant in Brooklyn near Brooklyn Heights. The Soul Spot has crispy fried chicken, spicy jerk chicken, delicious mac and cheese, and the absolute best mashed potatoes I have ever had.
  3. Rasa is a Malaysian restaurant located in Midtown. It has a variety of fried rice dishes, curries, and noodle dishes. They also have a special dish called the Nasi Kerabu that has a splash of color with its blue pea rice, which tastes amazing and would be perfect for Instagram. Rasa also has many other special dishes and a sushi bar.
  4. King of Falafel & Shawarma is a Middle Eastern restaurant located in Astoria in Queens. It was first a food cart before it became a restaurant, though they still have a food cart located on Astoria Ditmars, while their restaurant in located on Broadway. Their chicken shawarma is to die for and their falafels are so crispy on the outside. If anything, their restaurant sign will have you smiling.
  5. Milk & Honey Cafe is located in Flatbush in Brooklyn and is the perfect halal place for Sunday brunch. They have an assortment flatbreads and paninis. They also have many different egg and omelet dishes as would be expected from a brunch spot. Don’t feel guilty about eating the bacon, it’s turkey.
  6. Terry and Yaki is a food cart located in Queens Plaza North on Crescent Street. They also have a location in that focuses on halal Asian food. They have teriyaki rice bowls, the options being chicken teriyaki, teriyaki tofu, and a recently added sirloin steak teriyaki. They have a chicken teriyaki salad bowl and loaded sweet potato fries.
  7. Fatima’s Halal Kitchen is a halal Chinese restaurant is located in Astoria in Queens. They have all the dishes that you would expect from a regular Chinese restaurant in New York City, aside from pork dishes. I personally love their special Mei Fun and their sweet and sour chicken.
  8. Tallgrass Burger is a burger spot located in East Village in Manhattan. It has amazing burgers for amazing prices, especially as it is located in Manhattan. My personal favorite from Tallgrass Burger is the Fire Rock Burger, which has beef bacon, jalapeños, and crunchy potato chips.
  9. Atomic Wings is a chain, but the one located in East Village in Manhattan is locally known to be halal, even though they don’t advertise themselves as such. It has an assortment of wing flavors. Their menu is not limited to wings however, having a variety of sandwiches, wraps, and appetizers.
  10. Twisted Mexican Grill

    is a halal Mexican restaurant located in Astoria in Queens. The food is fresh and delicious, within a good price range. You have a choice between burritos, quesadillas, burrito bowls, tacos, and a bunch of other things.

These are just some of the many halal options to eat from in New York City. Those who eat strictly zabihah halal may not be able to eat everything in this city, but our choices are definitely not limited. 


By Raibena Raita

Raibena is a rising sophomore at NYU majoring in English on the Creative Writing track and minoring in Psychology. Ever since she was young, she has loved to read, which later in her life also blossomed into a love for writing. She writes everything from short stories to plays to creative nonfiction. She is an in-class tutor for elementary school children. She is also involved in NYU Students for Justice in Palestine, NYU DREAM Team, and NYU Muslims Students Association, and very vocal about her beliefs. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Now What? On Postgrad Burnout

Thursday, June 27th, 2019

What do you do when you’ve just graduated from a class of 20,000 other students, many of whom have the same skill set and goals? How do you grapple with the crushing weight of needing to compete with thousands of other students entering the workforce? What do you do when the safety net of university life has been ripped out from under you?

To some, this might sound like a classic case of anxious catastrophizing, but if you’ve ever felt this way, rest assured: you’re not alone. Even if you begin mentally preparing for graduation ahead of time, you’re likely to deal with these same anxieties; the same anxieties of a generation forced to grow up too quickly alongside the exponential growth of the Internet. The correlation is that our generation grew up with the optimistic parental mantra that “everybody is special.” That’s not to say that isn’t true; it’s just that it unintentionally made our generation feel compelled to out-perform each other, and social media gave us the perfect stage to do so. If everybody is special, then logically, aren’t I just like everybody else? As a result, recent op-eds and think pieces have shifted to focus on the false facades we create for ourselves and hide behind online, particularly on Instagram. We feel compelled to present only the best moments of our lives, and in doing so, we lose touch with the person behind the facade.

By the time I graduated from NYU in May 2018, I had come to understand the meaning of “burnout.” I felt like I was in a constant fog. I had no energy to do the things I used to enjoy, yet simultaneously constantly agonized over the bigger picture of my life and what to do next. I had no immediate plans for the future, because I couldn’t even figure out what I wanted, professionally. I felt resentment towards academia in general — I was convinced that it was NYU’s fault that I was left feeling this way — even though it wasn’t anybody’s fault that I was feeling aimless. In fact, I had been feeling this way for much longer than I realized at the time. The direction that a college curriculum provided forced me to focus my energies elsewhere. The key to feeling better about myself — though I didn’t know it then — was finding creative outlets to help me refocus my mind and eventually regain enough clarity to know what I wanted to do next.

There is no easy solution to post-graduation burnout. If college was the final protective blockade before bona fide adulthood, then graduating is like a freefall into shark-infested waters. Some handle the change easier than others, but ultimately everybody is asking the same questions. What’s next? How can I be successful when I’m competing with so many other talented young people? How do I find out what I’m good at, when all I’ve ever known was school? I don’t have all the answers, but I do know what’s helped me to ease many of the anxieties associated with graduating. In New York City, there’s no shortage of inspiration to be found while you recover from post-graduation burnout.

“What can I do to refocus when I’m feeling lost after graduation?”

  • Take real care of yourself. Are you listening to your body? Your brain? Your needs?

 

  • Find inspiration. I suggest looking at art, and not just the kind you see on museum walls. Nonetheless, I’ll teach you how to go to a museum and really think about what you’re seeing, and how you can avoid the dreaded “art fatigue.”

 

  • Treat yourself. This is a temporary fix, but taking care of your outward appearance can help give you the confidence you need to getting back on track with your life. Supporting small cosmetics businesses, many of which are online and supremely affordable, are a click away.

 

  • Design a workspace. Curate your life with minimalism. Marie Kondo writes about how your living space reflects your mental state.

Find what speaks to you. A new hobby doesn’t have to lead to a career. But it can help you “speak yourself” — that is, to figure out what drives you — and sometimes that’s even more valuable than finding your professional niche.


By Firozah Najmi

Firozah Najmi (BA ’18) is a recent graduate from New York University’s Gallatin School of Individualized Study, where she majored in Art, Mediation, and Perception.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Trying to figure out… the Subway & NYU’s Many Buildings

Friday, June 21st, 2019

Image Credit: Instagram @sanji_chowdhury

I am a born and raised New Yorker, but most of my traveling in Queens was done by bus or car. My first time navigating the subway alone was Welcome Week and best believe I got lost. Fortunately, I only had to take one train all the way to west fourth. But, man is west fourth station big.

When I reached the station, I took the first set of stairs I saw and walked up to see a closed-off construction site. Not realizing the F train station stopped on the lowest floor and not seeing another set of stairs going up, I started to panic. Frantically looking for an exit, a man approached me and asked if I needed help. He figured I was a new student, considering it was college orientation and NYU takes over the entirety of Washington Square Park and surrounding area for Welcome Week, no one could escape it. He directed me to walk farther down the current level and take another flight of stairs up.

I was ecstatic to finally be out of the station, there was just one problem; I needed to find the building for orientation. Because I struggled to get out of the station, I had ten minutes to get to the room. I quickly put the building address for Skirball theater into maps and started to follow Siri’s voice. With five minutes to spare, I walked in showing my ID and went up the stairs feeling relieved My relief quickly dissipated as I was faced with a table of Welcome Week Leaders and no other students. Noticing the look of confusion, one of the leaders came up to me. Hoping I was in the right building, I asked if I was in Skirball. Unfortunately, she responded no but reassured me that I was not that far off. Apparently, I just needed to walk a bit further and turn a corner to see largely labeled doors for Skirball. Big fail on my end. I ran out of Kimmel into Skirball and took my seat with a minute to spare.

So there are a couple of things I did right that first day and quite a number of things I should have prepared for.
Definitely patting myself on the back for:

  • Budgeting a good amount of time for unexpected situations.
    • Tip: Especially since you will be dealing with MTA, try to build in a 30-minute buffer window for any set time commitment.
  • Knowing the address of where I needed to go and having an app to help me get to where I needed to go
    • Tip: Download a copy of the NYU building map

Definitely slapping myself on the head for not:

  • Knowing the exits of the station
    • Tip: If using the West Fourth station, either in the front or the back of the building, keep in mind that the West third exit is beside Bobst Library and Kimmel center, while the West eighth exit is closer to the Cantor Film center and Weinstein.

Tips I Learned Since Freshman Year:

  • Keep some emergency items in your bag like a portable charger, snacks, and a water bottle.
    • Additionally, try to keep enough quarters on you for an MTA ride. Quarters will allow you to use the bus and subway.
  • Get plugged in with MTA by downloading the app, following them on twitter or signing up for text alerts for the trains you frequent.
    • If you are a commuter, you might be spending more time on trains than on the actual campus, so get comfortable with your home away from home.
  • Utilize and keep in contact with your Commuter Assistant
  • Enjoy getting lost! It’s part of the experience of handling things on your own.

By Sanjidah Chowdhury

Sanjidah is a rising senior at NYU Steinhardt majoring in applied psychology. She aspires to become a mental health counselor to understand intergenerational dynamics and better serve the needs of women, Muslims, and the South Asian community. She currently works with NYU’s Office of Alumni Relations. Throughout the academic year, she works on a research team under Professor Niobe Way and volunteers for Nordoff -Robbins Center for Music Therapy. Most of the time you can find Sanjidah with her nose in a book and music blasting through her headphones. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

The Manhattan Bubble

Thursday, June 20th, 2019

I recently finished my first year at college, and one question that keeps popping up is, “Do you regret not leaving New York for college?” This question can be interpreted in two different ways, both of which would have different answers from me.

The first way to interpret that would be, “Do you regret living at home and not dorming?” The answer to this will always be yes and no. Commuting is terrible in many ways. Throughout the year I have bitterly grumbled about the fact that I have to wake up at 6:30 am for an 8 am class, while my fellow dorming classmates can just roll out of bed 15 minutes before class and still make it on time. At the same time, I don’t have to experience the same homesickness or leave behind the people that I love for months on end. There will always be a small part of me that will regret not getting a chance to experience the dorming lifestyle, but living at home while in college is also a privilege.

The other way to interpret that question would be, “Do you regret not leaving the city for college?” The answer to this will always be absolutely 100% no. I love New York City. I have spent my entire life here and I want to continue to spend my life here, and I am so happy that I am attending a university in my city. A friend of mine once told me that in her college interviews she highlighted how much she just wanted to see grass, as she really wanted to leave the city. My application to NYU, on the other hand, was nearly entirely about how much I love this city and how much I would love to stay in the city for the rest of my life, having so much more to explore.

I have been living in New York City my entire life, and I’ve only just begun truly seeing the city. There are parts of Manhattan and Queens I’ve never set foot in, and I’ve barely touched Brooklyn and the Bronx. During my four years at NYU, I am determined to explore all of New York City and take in all this City has to offer.

That sentiment, however, is not necessarily shared by all of my classmates at NYU, at least those that are not native to NYU. A lot of my fellow NYU students are trapped in a Manhattan bubble. When they see New York City in movies and on TV, it’s always centered around Manhattan, any of the other boroughs being an afterthought. To the people who grew up with New York City on the big screen rather than it being the streets they roam, Manhattan seems to be all that really matters. To them, the city is just Manhattan.

What they don’t understand is how much more the rest of the city has to offer. To me, New York City is not just Manhattan. New York City is not just big buildings and Wall Street, not just the Empire State Building and shopping. New York City is street fairs on Memorial Day and the Astoria Park Carnival. New York City is the museums and history you can find throughout the city, from the Met in Manhattan to the Brooklyn Museum in Brooklyn to the Museum of Moving Image in Queens. New York City is a plethora of restaurants and cuisines that can be found everywhere. New York City is a city of opportunities and dreams, where just about anything can happen. New York City has so much to offer and that’s not just in Manhattan.

Did you know that the biggest park in New York City is not Central Park? It’s actually Pelham Bay Park in the Bronx. In fact, Central Park is only the 5th largest park in New York City. Did you know that Queens is the largest borough by size and only second to Brooklyn in population? Manhattan is actually the smallest by size at 22.82 square miles (even smaller than the most overlooked borough Staten Island).

There is so much more for New York City to off than the flashing lights and Broadway plays of Manhattan. There are the museums in Queens, the parks in Brooklyn, and the diversity of culture and cuisine in Brooklyn. Get out of your Manhattan bubble and explore the real New York City.


By Raibena Raita

Raibena is a rising sophomore at NYU majoring in English on the Creative Writing track and minoring in Psychology. Ever since she was young, she has loved to read, which later in her life also blossomed into a love for writing. She writes everything from short stories to plays to creative nonfiction. She is an in-class tutor for elementary school children. She is also involved in NYU Students for Justice in Palestine, NYU DREAM Team, and NYU Muslims Students Association, and very vocal about her beliefs. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Actualizing My Damage

Wednesday, June 19th, 2019

Falling in love affected me so deeply because afterwards, I was forced to stare into the mirror. I was stripped naked, sitting cross-legged on the dark floor of my room as it reflected the darkest parts of myself: the wounds that never fully closed. I realized then that I was not equipped for a relationship because I had not healed from my past. I had endured trauma and abuse in many forms and that had affected my relationship with myself. It was not entirely the boy’s fault that this did not work out. It was mine, too.

My prior relationships had left me racked with numerous scars. Some were visible; I covered them with tattoos. The other scars were invisible to the naked eye because they lay dormant in my struggling soul. It is not the romantic relationships that had scarred me this way, though; it was my relationship with my family. My father’s alcoholism dramatically worsened following my mother’s abandonment when we were younger. People often say my mother and I are twins, meaning I was a daily reminder of his pain. Subsequently, I received the brunt of the abuse when he was drunk. Once, he wished me dead. I loved my father, but everyday he battled numerous demons. He fought as long as he could for us until May 4th, 2014. For years after he passed, I still flinched when I saw a belt. The first relationship I had with a man broke my self-esteem, so I rarely stopped other men that had similar habits. It was what I had become used to.

I also realized this past year that I felt guilty for my sexual assault. The pain that that caused me is one that I am still dealing with to this day. Six months after I moved out from “home,” I tried to salvage my relationship with my mother. But every single time we spoke, we were lying. We were pretending that everything was okay. She would still bring her boyfriend up. There were pictures of him in the house. I would have to hear his voice on the phone when he called her. And I had to be okay with it. But I was not. Her and I spoke every single day, so every single day I was being reminded of the night when everything came to a head. When the years of him grabbing my butt and making inappropriate comments mixed together to form the infamous night. The night that he grabbed his bulge in front of my face. The night that he held both of my legs open and while standing between them repeatedly asked me “Why not?” The night that he yanked me off the couch and rubbed himself up against me from behind when I wouldn’t let him grab me.

I was sixteen when he assaulted me. Two years after in college, I thought I had gotten over it. But when my heart broke in a way I never knew possible after that boy and I ended our not-relationship, I knew I was far from being okay. I could no longer pretend like that night— those years, did not happen. That man treated me as an object and I subsequently began treating myself the same way. I had to listen to my mind and my pain to put an end to it, starting with my mother. I could not speak to her knowing she was actively not protecting me. Knowing she was avidly moving to Florida this summer to live with him without knowing if I had a place to stay. So I told her the truth. I told her I was incapable of pretending anymore and everything blew up. My heart shattered for the millionth time as my mother left me on read. I walked her through the vivid details of what her boyfriend did all over again and she read it, but did not answer. She still has not answered. She has spread lies and spun narratives in which I am the bad guy. She has blamed the victim. That hurt my self-esteem more than any boy ever could.

This is my damage. I have grown up like many other minorities have in this institutionalized system: poor, hungry, abused. I did not succumb to my circumstances, but I realized I had still not overcome them. Some of those demons still clawed at me from beneath my bed at night. I spent many years being angry at the world, but I realized I can’t do that anymore. I can’t be angry that some people had nice houses growing up and have never gone hungry. I can’t be angry that some people have two parents that love and support them. I can’t be angry that some will never know the pain I have. I should be happy for them. I am happy now that many have not suffered the way I have. But I have to share my stories for the ones that have not been so lucky. For the ones like me that have had random hurricanes thrown in their paths without rhyme or reason.

Before I can truly help others, though, I have to help myself. I have to hold myself accountable for my own negative habits. I needed to stop hindering my own growth.


By Jaelynn Grace Ortiz

Jaelynn is a rising sophomore at NYU majoring in Journalism and Social and Cultural Analysis with a focus in Latino studies and is minoring in Creative Writing. The list of her hobbies is almost as drawn out as her majors are. She writes poetry, essays and stories, she dances, mentors high schoolers in the Bronx and often plans environmental events in NYU Residence Halls. She has a poem published in the introspective study Inside My World by the Live Poets Society. Despite vehemently condemning social media, she ironically has instagram which you could follow her on. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

How to Suffer Healthily – Guidelines to Surviving NYC Campus

Tuesday, June 18th, 2019

Chapter 1: A Healthful Reality

 

Anyone who moves to New York City has a goal. They have dreams and expectations and a vision of what their dazzling life in the city. Media has shown us so many encouraging stories about the struggle of making your way in New York. There are parties and fashion, runways and bankers, agents and food and artists and culture; all of these things are banded together in such a small place, it’s a wonder you get to somehow experience it all.

 

Yet, NYC college students ultimately end up asking themselves is how do you manage to stay healthy on a student budget while still trying to conquer New York?

 

To help out fellow peers, I’ve compiled a list of a few challenging realities that students should know to expect.

  1. Most Students are Still Growing Up

 

It’s not a shocking truth, but it’s one that hits home for many struggling students. It’s strange enough becoming an adult in a place that demands your attention full time, but students often move astounding distances to live in New York, leaving their family and most of their support system behind. These students must construct new routines and learn the ins and outs of solidarity. At the beginning, no one is making sure that you’re staying fit or eating healthy or eating at all for that matter. It may take a while to become adjusted to getting by on your own.

 

  1.  School is Important

 

Not only do college courses require an immense amount of focus, but now you’re paying for that focus. If you miss too many classes or your grades start to slip, it’s likely you may have to retake a class. What does this have to do with health? The human brain requires a nutritious balance of Magnesium, Omega-3 Fatty Acids, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Vitamin C, and all of the B Vitamins. Without these elements in your diet the brain loses a significant amount of stamina, making it harder to do well in school. Of course, ramen and dollar pizza slices are staple foods for the regular student, but after a week of MSG and no vitamins, it gets hard to keep up with the fast pace of NYC.

 

  1. Movement is Key

Maybe this one is implied, but people in New York City are constantly moving from place to place and they are always hard-pressed to get there on time. With so much happening at once and with so much to do, it’s a wonder how students find time to stay fit. And while fitness is unique to the individual, it’s sometimes difficult to discern what exactly your body needs. It’s not essential to have a gym membership or to be a part of a sports team, sometimes it’s as simple as investing in a bicycle or scooter to get around town. Just be sure to remember, there’s a difference between being active and staying healthy. Walking around all day and running from one train to the next can be quite the workout; it’s beneficial to find time to relax and get plenty of sleep.

 

Despite all of those chilling realities, it is also extremely important to have fun. Staying healthy in school can be a breeze with the right resources, knowledge and motivation. In this book, I will explain a few tips on how to turn college survival into simply living.

 

Olivia L. Brummett

Rising Senior at The New School – B.F.A. Writing 

Share

My Biggest Fear – Revealed

Tuesday, June 11th, 2019

One day as I sat in the dining hall conversing with a friend, I broke down. We were having a normal conversation, but the entire time she was speaking, all I could think about was going back to my empty dorm by myself. The walls were cold and the room was dark. The small window in my low-cost triple dorm provided little to no light. My view was a brick wall. His room had always been so bright. As tears rolled down my face in the crowded dining hall, I realized I had fallen into the same hole my mother had.

I was scared to be alone. My mother is too. She has consistently been in relationships since she was nineteen. She continues to be in them, even when they harm her. Even when they harm me. I always told myself I would never do the same, that I would never be that girl who depends on a guy for her source of happiness and security, but here I was. I cried daily for a week and somehow found a way to make everything about him. And as I sat in that dining hall, I was being a bad friend. I was so absorbed with my own problems that I couldn’t focus long enough to listen to what she had to say. But the idea of being in my own company for a prolonged period of time felt as smothering as the four white walls of my shoebox dorm did. I was being suffocated by the feeling that I wasn’t enough for myself. Like if I wasn’t with someone else, what was the point? What did I have to offer… myself?

Then I became upset. I had everything I could possibly want: a full scholarship to my dream school, a dorm in the city that never sleeps, the opportunity to pursue my passion of writing. Why wasn’t this enough for me? Why did I feel so empty? I had also experienced pain more severe than this. I was abused mentally and physically growing up. I slept on couches and floors. My father died. I was sexually abused. I moved out at sixteen. This was nothing compared to all that! How had I conquered all of those experiences and the pain they yielded, but I was struggling to conquer this?

I realized though that that anger toward myself was counterintuitive, because it typically made the situation worse. And I can’t minimize my current problems just because I have had worse ones in the past. I am unable to control my emotions, and thinking I could was toxic to my health. I held myself to such a high standard that I became disappointed whenever I felt that longing because I am supposed to be “strong” and “independent.” This is what I taught myself but that is what I had to unlearn. I was definitely both of those qualities, but my definitions of them were incorrect. I was not weak because I loved and subsequently hurt; that is what made me strong.

There is this expectation in college that everything should be casual and that this is not the time for romantic relationships. My own friends made me feel abnormal for wanting commitment instead of a casual fling that lacked a label. I wanted  to love someone instead of just enjoying the pleasures of the flesh they would. I feel so much to the point that I thought I was feeling too much. But I realized I needed to stop apologizing for the complexity of my emotions. I know I hold no control over them, but I can control my actions. I can control how I react and can limit the amount of actions that will yield these deep emotions I typically experience.

The main problem was that I love other people with all of my heart. I give everything I have, even when it means that I go without more times than not. But I was not loving enough to myself. I was not giving to myself. I was not accepting myself for my flaws like I had unconditionally done for others. Of course I didn’t feel comfortable in my own company. I didn’t have enough respect for myself. Would you pass time with a person you do not love or respect? And while I was not loving myself enough, I also was not holding myself accountable. I was not acknowledging my own flaws and weaknesses. I was playing victim but failed to acknowledge that I was part of our downfall too. I didn’t fully acknowledge that until the night I went out with a group of friends to see a movie and he was there. I don’t even remember how we got to this point in our conversation, but we had begun conversing about when we were together. The conversation was half-joking, half-serious. I told him it was his fault that I was so distraught the week we ended. I implied that the whole ending was his undoing. He said “Really? Come on, Jae. It was your fault, too.”

I needed to hear that.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————-

By Jaelynn Grace Ortiz

Jaelynn is a rising sophomore at NYU majoring in Journalism and Social and Cultural Analysis with a focus in Latino studies and is minoring in Creative Writing. The list of her hobbies is almost as drawn out as her majors are. She writes poetry, essays and stories, she dances, mentors high schoolers in the Bronx and often plans environmental events in NYU Residence Halls. She has a poem published in the introspective study Inside My World by the Live Poets Society. Despite vehemently condemning social media, she ironically has instagram which you could follow her on. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share

Falling in Love (Before I Knew How)

Monday, June 3rd, 2019

I fell in love for the first time this past year. It was passionate and messy and blew up in my face. However, it yielded much needed self-reflection and realization that facilitated unprecedented growth within myself.

Shortly after my first semester began, I found myself in something that resembled a relationship with another NYU student. I was hungry for life when I arrived at college and he nourished my soul. We thought we could get away with not putting a label on ourselves, though. He had just gotten out of a five-year-long relationship and I had just gotten over a short, mediocre one. My mistake was thinking I could control my emotions. I thought I could spend my days with this boy and be embraced with his sweet kisses without getting too attached. I thought wrong. I fell for him much more quickly than I ever believed possible.

As soon as I got out of class, my first thought was when can I see him again? Even if it was for twenty minutes, I wanted to be in his presence. He brought calm into the normal chaos that was my daily life. He held me while I had panic attacks and made me say every single thing I was grateful about, from my little brother back home to the cheese and grape platter I always bought from Sidestein. When I was with him, I didn’t think about the pain brought by the loss of my father or the invalidation from my mother. I didn’t think about the nights I went to sleep for dinner. He even stopped the daily night terrors I would have about my mom’s boyfriend.

The thing about college, though, is that we often get much more freedom than we have ever been exposed to before. I didn’t have to wait until my uncle was at work for a boy to drive twenty minutes to pick me up. This boy literally lived right across the hall from me. Boundaries exist for a reason, but I broke them. It felt too good to be with someone that had also struggled, that understood much of my pain. He was hesitant about us, though. He would constantly have talks with me to make sure I wasn’t getting too attached. He had just gotten out of a long relationship and made it clear he wasn’t ready for a new one. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt me. So, I told him I wasn’t falling. I lied.

 I lied to myself for a long time. I told myself that I didn’t have deep feelings for him. That we were just casual and having fun, but deep down, I knew. I wrote a poem two months in that went:

 

a beautiful night

heart inflamed

my soul awakens

in the presence of you

 

i love you

but im not in love with you

i promise

i know you dont want that

 

you dont want to be limited again!

you shout from the rooftops

you shout so loud that windows shatter

i eat the glass

 

every night

you hold me

but when im not there

i cry

 

i cry because i know

i love you

but not like in love with you

i promise

As our not-relationship progressed, I became dependent. I expected him to constantly  long to see me as well and to not be with anyone else, even though we had never made that clear. When my expectations weren’t always met, I began feeling empty. So, I started overcompensating. I stopped going out of my way to see friends. I spent more money on him than I had to spare. I sacrificed sleep each night to drowsily stay up doing homework with him. These were my own conscious choices; he never asked for any of it.

Our days were often sweet and bright, but I knew we were running on borrowed time. The expiration date was closing in on us like the four white walls of loveless apartments I grew up in. Because of this, I never had sufficient time to brace myself for the fall.

It all exploded one night. I saw him check in another girl to our residence hall. My friends were trying to keep me away so I wouldn’t see, but the plan failed. He walked past without even looking at me. My eyes locked with the girl. My heart shattered.

I walked outside and the cool night air wrapped itself around my cold skin as I collapsed against the brick wall. I can’t do this anymore. The nights when he spun me around and called me his girl, when we sat in Washington Square Park eating pizza and he told me his dreams about helping low income communities, waking up to his soft kisses after he got back late from the library, it wasn’t enough anymore. This hurt more than I can ever put into words and my battered soul couldn’t bear another moment.

He was a mess after seeing me and made the girl leave. He begged me to come over but I told him it would just make things worse. I would yell. He said it didn’t matter. I stormed in and let myself go. I stopped trying to be what I thought he wanted. I had never yelled at anyone like that in my life. I trusted him. I loved him. I told him he was selfish. But I left out the part that I was, too. I cried; so did he. He said it was his first time in years. Big deal, I told him, I had been crying all week. That night we held the pieces of what was left of us in our tired hands and attempted to mend them back together. They didn’t fit anymore. He texted me at two in the morning and said he wished I was laying in his arms. His bed felt cold without me.

My heart broke repeatedly that week. The next morning was my Spanish final. I tried to tell my friend what happened before it started but I ended up running to the bathroom and breaking down all over again. I am a writer. I write about my pain. But this? This was something I couldn’t even think about without feeling sick to my stomach. He said he was practically writing an anthology. I couldn’t bring myself to reflect on it long enough without feeling like my knees were about to buckle and my lungs would give out. It made me physically ill.

I have endured exponentially more awful experiences in my life than heartbreak, but for some reason, this hurt the most.

 


By Jaelynn Grace Ortiz

Jaelynn is a rising sophomore at NYU majoring in Journalism and Social and Cultural Analysis with a focus in Latino studies and is minoring in Creative Writing. The list of her hobbies is almost as drawn out as her majors are. She writes poetry, essays and stories, she dances, mentors high schoolers in the Bronx and often plans environmental events in NYU Residence Halls. She has a poem published in the introspective study Inside My World by the Live Poets Society. Despite vehemently condemning social media, she ironically has instagram which you could follow her on. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

Share