Posts Tagged ‘writing’

Work-Life Balance Actually is Your Problem to Figure Out

Thursday, May 15th, 2025
Emma Grede on Diary of a CEO

The emancipation of the working class must be the work of the working class itself.” – Marx and Engels, Strategy and Tactics of the Class Struggle (1879)

Here me out. 

The uproar around SKIMS Co-Founder Emma Grede’s comments regarding employees’ work-life balance responsibilities has brought on a lot of thoughts and feelings I want to discuss.

Last week, Grede stated in an interview with “Diary of a CEO” podcast host Steven Bartlett that a healthy work-life balance is a problem for employees “to figure out.”

Concerning employee attendance and micromanagement, Grede validated her statement by saying her company has changed with the times to accommodate personal life events. “You come in, you have set hours, but there’s flexibility within your working life. It’s not like ‘Oh my goodness, such and such is not at their desk.’” she said. “The way we run organizations now is that no one misses dentist appointments or a doctor’s appointment or a haircut or their kid’s parent-teacher conference.”

While Grede received a lot of pushback for her comments and lack of sensitivity as an employer, I have to agree with her… to a certain extent. The optimist in me wants to say it was giving unintentional Marxist queen.

It’s no shocker that Americans struggle with work-life balance. Our capitalist society literally thrives off of our clocked-on hours and has trained us to believe that we are important if we are good at our job, that we are valuable, even better than others, if we sacrifice ourselves to do more for our job. It’s one thing to be a small business owner living the dream of running a bookstore cafe. It’s another to be working for a company where you’re at the hands of a manager, who is at the hands of their manager, who is at the hands of their manager, and so on. 

I don’t know why anyone would expect a large corporation or sector of the workforce to ever take into consideration their employees’ work-life balance. In a utopia, surely. But it doesn’t look like we’re headed towards Marx’s wet dream any time soon, no matter how much I, too, fantasize about it. 

Marx Memes via Pinterest

Like so many aspects of our lives, it is our responsibility to do what’s best for ourselves, especially when it’s hard. Classload too exhausting this spring semester? It’s up to you to change that for the fall. Feel like you’re spending too much time on social media? You should probably put a lock on the TikTok app. Worried about not exercising enough? I mean, honestly, who isn’t, but who is going to fix that besides you? Not your boss, that’s for sure. It’s HARD to set these kinds of boundaries, especially because it means working towards bettering ourselves for us (how selfish!), rather than bettering a company for profit. 

It reminds me of a quote by John Green: “I took some pride in ‘not fulfilling my potential,’ in part because I was terrified that if I tried my hardest, the world would learn I didn’t actually have that much potential.” I’ve seen a lot of people fall into this rabbit hole at one point or another, myself included, because there is a comfort in settling. “I guess I could get used to just being a teacher,” I used to say to myself before I applied to grad school. And the truth is, I probably could’ve just slumped into that routine of having a steady pay and set schedule despite being irritable all the time. But I knew I was stunted as a person when I was teaching, following a path that would leave me feeling limited. That doesn’t mean, however, that there wasn’t still fear in stepping outside that box and pursuing myself first.

Because of this, I do agree with Grede that, when it comes to work, no one is going to look out for you except for you. And this sentiment goes against everything a generalized American workplace wants you to think. It’s hard to stand your ground and set boundaries with work because we’ve truly been programmed not to, and doing so is frowned upon by everyone who is too far in, especially those who profit the most from your labor. If more working people start to be more strict with their work-life balance, institutions will eventually be forced to reckon with a new norm. I firmly believe this is true, as even Grede alluded to such changes in her interview. “That’s just not how we work anymore,” she said regarding an outdated lack of flexibility in work hours. 

TBT When I used to go to work sick only for balding women to talk about me behind my back.

This is one thing I love about Gen Z. If any generation has learned to stick it to the man in terms of work-life balance, it’s ours. For most of Gen Z, you literally could not pay us enough to go into work unless we really have to. I enjoy my new job right now, which is actually a rather huge thing for me to say, but at the end of the day, I will always prefer to not work. I know my value doesn’t come from a job. I know my happiness won’t increase if I overwork myself for the sake of an institution. I know any notion of “making the world a better place” can be done without a monetary profit involved. At the end of the day, I work to have money to pay for the things I need and hopefully a little extra. If I didn’t need to be an employee, I wouldn’t be! I would do pilates, volunteer, buy expensive coffee from a small business owner who runs a bookstore cafe, and run my own magazine, AKA become my own boss. I mean, that’s kind of the dream, isn’t it?

I often see people overextending themselves for jobs that don’t even align with their passions and/or come at the cost of their well-being. Even if you love your job, you shouldn’t be risking your physical or mental health, your relationships, or your interests for the sake of work. What is the benefit? So other work-obsessed people will identify you as “good at your job”? So you’ll be known around the office as “dedicated and dependable”? That’s just sad. If you have PTO time, please take it. If you have sick time, PLEASE take it, even if you just have a cold. And if you have neither of these things, but you feel burnt out and can spare a day of work without getting fired, just take a day off. “I won’t be able to make it in today. I apologize for the inconvenience.” End of discussion.

On the flip side, I know many people do not have a choice in terms of improving their work-life balance. They have to work a 40-hour work week to pay all their bills. Especially for those who live in a big city like Boston or New York, most of the time, they’re just working to pay rent and utilities. Add being a student on top of that, and it’s truly like someone materializing in front of you every two weeks with a vacuum, sucking up your entire check. If you can’t take the city out of the girl, you also definitely can’t take the girl out of the city. It’s something I’ve learned to accept. While there are ways to balance work and life, no one can say it isn’t difficult, and self-care during this time looks different for everyone. Take it easy, take a break whenever you can, and just remember, even if you are working long hours day after day, labor laws exist, and rest is eventually required!

“Disappear, babes,” Adele whispers when you clock out.

I can’t believe I used to spend so much time complaining to friends and family about how burnt out I was as a teacher when I was actually the only person who had control over changing that part of my life. Once I did, I became so much happier. Not only that, but I opened up space in my life to actually lean into my passions, such as becoming an editor and writing these blog posts (with no worry or remorse, I might add).

Until the world is ready to stop dehumanizing working people for profit, you have to watch out for yourself. I can assure you, your job will always ask more of you, and it’s on you to learn how to say no. Sometimes, saying no comes with what may look like a consequence. You may have to set boundaries and say no. You may piss people off. You may even have to give up your job and search for something better. Others may not understand your decisions. But if you’re putting yourself first, you will almost always come out on top, and the right people will stand by you. Secure the bag, and then leave! What are you waiting around for?

“A schoolmaster is a productive labourer when, in addition to belabouring the heads of his scholars, he works like a horse to enrich the school proprietor. That the latter has laid out his capital in a teaching factory, instead of in a sausage factory, does not alter the relation.” – Marx, Capital, Volume I, Chapter 16 (1867)

Boston Students! Grab a nice book and head over to Caffé Bene for 10% off with this coupon and a student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Where Are Women Allowed to Be Hot?

Thursday, April 10th, 2025

Like everyone else, I’ve been thinking about Bad Bunny’s Calvin Klein promotion for about three weeks. I am all for men in their tiny little undies looking all scrumptious for clothing brands, and it’s not just because the sight is easy on the eyes. Campaigns like Bad Bunny’s and Jeremy Allen White’s do more than just give the people what they want. When men take up sexualized spaces that have been historically imposed upon women, they highlight the gender discrepancy within partial-nudity reception. That’s what I’m also for.

Calvin Klein’s Instagram page has an audience of nearly 26 million. Bad Bunny appears in the most recent Calvin Klein campaign wearing just his Calvins, partially nude—something that’s been normalized for men in media but is often critiqued and policed when women do the same. 

Bad Bunny received overwhelmingly positive feedback from the internet for posing in his Calvins, with many comments thanking Calvin Klein for giving them such a godsend of photos (I don’t disagree here). Audiences reacted the same with Jeremy Allen White and many of the other men who have posed in their tighty whities, such as Jacob Elordi, Michael B. Jordan, and more.

Bad Bunny’s Calvin Klein ad, cropped to your displeasure.

What happens when we compare the reception to JENNIE’s Calvin Klein campaign, which featured comments from viewers such as “She has a nice body, but is it sexy?” What about Disha Patani’s? A follower wrote, “Nowadays, showing partial body is the next way to get popular and attention.”  Maya Jardon’s more conservative shapewear post didn’t miss getting hit either: “Why are you naked?” And then, for Lily Collins’ full-clothing campaign, a backhanded comment that almost had me hopeful, “This woman is sexy without showing anything,” plus a “this is not on brand.”

We can’t forget what happened to FKA twigs, either. In April 2023, Calvin Klein released an advertisement featuring FKA twigs wearing an unbuttoned denim shirt draped over her body, exposing parts of her butt and her breasts. It wasn’t too long after that the UK’s Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) received two complaints alleging that the ad objectified women. Consequently, the ASA banned the ad, stating that it “used nudity and centered on FKA twigs’ physical features rather than the clothing, to the extent that it presented her as a stereotypical sexual object.” ​

FKA twigs publicly contested this ruling, expressing disappointment and highlighting double standards in advertising. She noted that similar campaigns featuring male celebrities, such as Jeremy Allen White, did not face the same scrutiny. In her statement, she emphasized her pride in her body and the empowerment she felt during the shoot, questioning why hers was deemed inappropriate:

“I do not see the ‘stereotypical sexual object’ that they have labelled me. I see a beautiful strong woman of colour whose incredible body has overcome more pain than you can imagine,” she wrote a day after the ban. “In light of reviewing other campaigns, past and current, of this nature, I can’t help but feel there are some double standards.” It’s still lost on the committee, which eventually responded that although they were concerned their “rationale for banning the ad was substantially flawed,” the photos were still overtly sexual, and thus the ban remained.

One of the FKA twigs Calvin Klein ad photos that wasn’t removed

As Summer approaches and Amiee Lou Wood’s White Lotus Bikinis sell out online, I’ve come to wonder, where are women allowed to be hot? 

Campaigns like Bad Bunny’s indirectly highlight how algorithms and moderation policies on platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and others unevenly censor content based on gender and sexualization. Because of this, it seems women are not allowed to be hot in the Calvin Klein campaigns, which are quite literally designated spaces for partial nudity to be accepted. Online platforms as a whole tend to sexualize and censor women’s bodies far more than men’s, especially in similar attire. If we take modeling underwear out of the picture, there must be other spaces where women can be confident and attractive while not being policed for it, right?

Certainly not at the gym, where sports bras and biker shorts have become demonized by men who don’t know how to confront their own wandering eyes. “It’s practically narcissistic, if someone has a great six-pack and young girls have amazingly shaped bodies that they are showing off basically, they should cover up a little bit, you know,” said a gym owner on Irish radio whose comments have since gone viral and irritated plenty. Men can work out shirtless and semi-shirtless—for when those muscle tanks are cut up so much they show both the nips—but women can’t have a matching fit that highlights their physique? Are they just upset because men’s clothes aren’t as thematic and interesting as women’s? Do the guys just want cute matching sets, too? I’m trying to find an attainable solution. 

Clapbacks to the Irish man on TikTok

What about at work or school? Hilarious question. We’ve all seen Legally Blonde. Next.

Women also can’t be hot on the beach, where they’ll be reprimanded for wearing bikinis no matter what age they are. A council in Greater Sydney announced recently it would be banning G-string bikinis at its public pools without providing further details about how the rule will be policed. Last summer, actress Sydney Sweeney received criticism for posting photos in a long-sleeve one-piece wetsuit because it had a bikini bottom: “Didn’t she say she didn’t want to be sexualized anymore?” and “Who on earth made this mid famous?” In her op-ed, “Women – don’t get larger, don’t get older, don’t have fun, don’t dare to wear a bikini” for The Guardian, Barbara Ellen described the array of ridicule women get for showing skin: “Is she wearing a bikini? At her age? At that weight? Shouldn’t she be in a one-piece? Isn’t it all a bit undignified? On and on it goes.” 

Sydney Sweeney’s response to her haters

It definitely takes a toll on the mental wellness of women. What spaces are we left in to just be hot in peace? Where can we go where we won’t get bullied into wearing something we don’t like, only to still receive slander from the opposite end where we’re not hot enough? The scrutiny of women’s clothing and skin exposure is just a breeding ground for shame, fear, and self-consciousness. How often do we feel unsafe or objectified on a daily basis, not even during times of shorts and tanks, but when we’re fully clothed head to toe? How often have we dealt with anxiety and reduced self-worth because some man opened his mouth? This pressure to dress “modestly” or “appropriately” undermines self-expression and contributes to internalized misogyny, ruining our mental health and body confidence. It’s something we’ve experienced for years before and will continue to for years to come. 

It seems women are allowed to be hot anywhere that straight men are not present. If there are to be hetero-men present, there should be just one, and it should be your husband. If you’re single, and there are multiple men in the space, you’re still permitted to be hot, but in consequence, you will also have to be thirsty, immature, narcissistic, dumb, attention-seeking, and, above all, disreputable. And that’s just the way it goes for people with half a brain cell, apparently.  

I do think, however, that getting men some more matching workout sets could be onto something. Maybe a lavender 5-inch inseam short and crop tank? Can we get a Nike collab with Ryan Gosling on this? Asking for a friend.

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Candle Ceremonies, Pinterest Boards, and the Art of Manifesting

Tuesday, March 4th, 2025

One of my closest friends was recently flipping through pages of her journal from a few years ago. She had written down manifestation statements back in 2021, setting up goals for herself to actualize in the next few years. “I’m so happy I was able to buy a house in the Dominican Republic by age 24” was one of them. “I’m so happy that, by age 25, I found someone who is right for me, loves me, supports me, and makes me a better person” was another. She cringed while reading them, but she also started tearing up because those two statements came true. 

I’m the kind of person that will try anything as long as it can’t hurt me. With manifesting, I always figured nothing necessarily bad could come out of it, so why not try it? When I first moved to Boston, I went to Salem and bought ‘magic’ candles from a witch store. They were color-coded to what aspect of life one wanted to manifest good things for: green for finances, white for peace, yellow for intelligence, and so on. I went home and lit the red candle, symbolic of love and attraction, and I let the wax melt onto a piece of paper where I had written about my crush on my now boyfriend. Did I feel silly, trying not to set off the fire alarms as I performed a ritual in my bedroom? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably. And THAT’s on girlhood.

My boyfriend’s and my new shoes: manifesting at its finest

I’ve been using the word ‘manifest’ a lot over the past few weeks, and the people around me have been using it as well. In our 20s, we’re all manifesting new jobs, better relationships, and internal peace. “Please manifest for me!” and “I’m manifesting it” and “Manifest good shit” have a surprising amount of hits in my text message results. I’ve never considered myself a believer of pseudosciences like astrology or chakra alignment, but I do think there’s something to be said about the mental energy that goes into getting what you want, along with the inherent determination that comes with it.

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, to manifest is to “imagine achieving something you want, in the belief that doing so will make it more likely to happen.” The word ‘manifest’ was looked up almost 130,000 times on the Cambridge Dictionary website in 2024, making it one of the most-viewed words of the year. In the United States, the idea of manifesting has grown less taboo with time, with many people turning to it daily.

Today’s concept of manifesting can be traced back to the New Thought Movement of the late 19th century, which is based on the idea that our thoughts and beliefs can have an influence on our health, prosperity, and success. The New Thought Movement emerged in the United States and Britain, drawing influence from the literary transcendentalists, the celebrity mesmerists, and, most prominently, Hindu philosophy. In Hinduism, manifestation is connected to the belief in Karma, meaning that our thoughts, intentions, and actions directly influence our reality.

In 2006, Rhonda Byrne published a best-selling self-help book, “The Secret,” exploring the topics of manifesting and the Law of Attraction, which centers on focusing your thoughts and energy on positive desires to attract positive life experiences. “The Secret” went on to sell over 35 million copies worldwide. The rise of celebrities like Jim Carrey, Oprah Winfrey, and Will Smith speaking about their practice of and belief in manifestation aided the book’s sales and reputation despite its lack of scientific foundation. 

Manifesting was brought back into the mainstream media during the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic, with people turning to the concept as almost a coping mechanism for the tough times ahead. During 2020, Google searches for the word ‘manifest’ rose by over 600%, and trends on social media skyrocketed with practices like positive affirmation statements and the 777 method. Pinterest saw a 565% increase in searches related to creating vision boards based on the cultivation of desired self-images. The conviction of social media participants seemed to be split in half, some manifesting comedically and others religiously. 

A few examples of the affirmation memes that circulated the internet during COVID.

From candle ceremonies to Pinterest boards, the art of manifesting today has become a staple in Gen Z’s self-care and wellness culture. New research from American Express reveals that nearly seven in 10 Gen Zs (69%) engage in manifestation practices, with over half saying it’s to help them achieve their goals.

While there is certainly no evidence to support the idea that manifesting gives you exactly what you want without any work involved, there are legitimate mental health benefits to practicing it. If we look at manifesting as not just a trend, but not a whole identity, either, we see that it can be something of a self-care practice, promoting positive self-talk, long- and short-term goals, and confidence in those who participate. Many of us are ‘manifesting’ without even knowing it.

Implementing manifestation tactics like positive self-talk, personal affirmations, and goal visualizations into our daily lives has been shown to improve self-esteem, stress management, and well-being, as well as reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. In studies by the National Institute of Health, self-talk specifically has beneficial effects on attention and emotion regulation and is widely used for performance enhancement in sports, academic engagement, and regulating anxiety or depression. Additionally, according to BetterHelp, “The latest research shows that the brain does not recognize the difference between real or imagined scenarios and that “rehearsing” future scenarios with visualization can build new neural pathways, calm anxiety, and increase confidence as you work toward your goals.”

Affirmation: I will catch the train on time. I will not miss the train and wait outside in 20-degree weather. The T is on my side.

Olympians across the globe have discussed the mental training that goes into achieving their dreams, from visualizing their race over and over again like Grant Holloway to posting manifestation statements on Instagram like Noah Lyles. It’s clear that the activities involved in manifesting are more than just wishing and wanting; they’re active steps taken to achieve one’s dreams. 

The truth is, when we show up our best, we do our best, both mentally and physically. If we are constantly telling ourselves that we don’t deserve something, that we aren’t good enough, or that we don’t believe in ourselves, it’s more likely we won’t even put the time or energy necessary into our goals. With that, how are we ever supposed to get what we want, or get closer to getting what we want? No one is saying you can just sit on your couch, light a bunch of candles, and wait for a million-dollar check to fall into your lap. Likewise, there’s nothing wrong with being mentally diligent and committed to your goals, either. 

I like to think of it as a self-fulfilling prophecy. A self-fulfilling prophecy, in a gist, is when what you predict to happen becomes what actually happens because it is what you expected to happen (I know, it’s a bit wonky). Basically, your actions end up aligning with your expectations. For example, let’s say I was going to a party, but I was afraid that no one was going to talk to me, and I wouldn’t make any friends. The self-fulfilling prophecy here would be that I went to the party, was too afraid to talk to anyone for fear of rejection, and consequently did not make any friends. I fulfilled the prophecy I set out for myself because I didn’t visualize a different outcome. It’s similar to people who say, “I’m going to fail the test anyway, so why even study?”

However, if I had told myself–whether it be by writing it down in a journal, visualizing the scenario in my head, or using positive self-talk to affirm my wants–that I was going to make friends at the party despite the chances of no one talking to me, I may have been more inclined to talk to people myself. I most likely would start up conversations with strangers and make friends via my own determination and confidence to get what I want. This is how I see manifestation: taking the time and energy to be specific about your desires and how you’ll fulfill them. “I will study, and my hard work will pay off.”

Of course, things don’t always go the way we want, and we can’t expect life to be all smooth sailing. We could easily talk to people at the party only to find out they’re kind of annoying and not really our speed. We could easily study all night and still fail the exam. We could easily be on time for the subway only for it to stand by at the stop before ours for 20 minutes. However, the point is that by focusing on the possible positive outcomes, we open ourselves up to opportunities that we may otherwise not have. If nothing bad can come out of it, why not give it a try?

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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The Benefits of Doing Things Alone

Wednesday, February 12th, 2025

Joanne and I sit next to one another at the theater for Life & Times of Michael K. As she stands up so I can take my seat, I compliment her tan faux fur hat and ski pants as a form of introduction. She is my height and frail, and her eyes have a smile to them that makes me inexplicably emotional. 

There’s silence for a few minutes as we settle in. I take pictures of the art deco ceiling and she reads the playbill. I play with my nails, and she smooths back her white hair into a thin ponytail, her hands shaking from an aggressive tremor. Then, when she takes a sip of her coffee, I gather up just enough courage to tell her this is my first time inside the Paramount Theatre, and I’ve made it a point to myself to do more things this year, even if it means doing them alone. I feel uncomfortable rambling to a stranger, but her smile has an earnest compassion to it, like that of a pre-k teacher listening to a child tell them about their weekend. Originally, she says, she was supposed to meet up with two girlfriends, one of whom is from Barbados and paid for her ticket. 27 degrees and overcast kept them at bay, but she loves doing things, too, anything to get out of the house, and she finds the theater especially “cathartic.” 

The Paramount Theatre before showtime!

Joanne tells me she’s been in Boston since ‘66 or ‘68, and she hardly ever goes back home to Minnesota because she finds it boring. There are valleys, however, along the Mississippi that she still dreams about, and great rolling hills and cliffsides. She sways her shaking fingers from side to side as she demonstrates the movement of the tall grass blowing in the wind. In her dreams, she goes everywhere, even the Notre Dame de Paris. She asks me if I liked growing up in Miami because it seems a lot less boring than Minnesota, but I tell her I don’t really like going back home either, and Miami reminds me of the girls in high school who had boating licenses and access to ketamine. I refrain from telling her my dreams often involve screaming because I want her to like me, the same way a granddaughter craves the approval of her matriarch.

When she finds out I’m a publishing grad student, she asks me what I think of the word ‘charming’ and whether it’s out of use. This is because she had a conversation about it with her siblings wherein she described one of her brothers as charming ‘even though he has brain damage’, and they found it weird to call someone with brain damage charming, so she’s been thinking about it ever since. I tell her I use the word charming relatively often, and I think it’s fine to describe her brother that way. She says I can call her Jo since that’s what her siblings call her, anyway.

Jo was a substitute teacher for a while and worked a bit in psychiatry, but she developed a neurological condition and has been retired for some time. After telling me this, she is quick to change the subject and mentions when she first came to Boston, she would go to all the libraries and bookstores and just sit there for hours and hours reading. She gestures with her hands in circular motions when she says ‘hours and hours’, and her eyes light up as she seems to regain a sentimental memory that has been out of thought for some time. Her brother also loves books, so they have a bond there. I tell her my brother and I were the first in our family to get degrees and they both happened to be in English, and she says it’s nice to have someone older than you who understands those things.

The best acting is at Central Square, and she prefers the interior design of the Paramount Theatre to the Opera House. She doesn’t know anyone in the mafia, but she knows a lot of Sicilians, and she doesn’t like their attitude. She says the only way to get used to the cold is to be in it often, and that rule applies to a lot of things in life. I’m not entirely sure what she means by this, but it sounds important.

The announcer comes on, and we quiet down. I am immersed in the play, but from time to time, my mind wanders to what Jo is thinking. There is something about her that reminds me of myself, though I can’t quite place it. In a way, I see her as an older version of myself, and I want to know her whole life story but feel too embarrassed to ask. I wonder if she’d think me a loser to ask her to coffee, as I’m sure when she was my age she didn’t want an old lady as a friend. I also wonder if she is going home to an empty apartment and might enjoy the company. 

Shakespeare in the Park from the first time I came to Boston by myself in 2019!

After the standing ovation, we slowly gather our things and put on our extra layers. I contemplate asking her what her plans are for the rest of the day, but as I shove my hands through the elastic of my jacket sleeves, she says, “It was nice to share a little bit of life with you.” I shake her hand and say “Maybe I’ll see you again at the next play,” and she agrees. As I’m heading down the stairs, she mispronounces my name in an attempt to remember it, but I don’t correct her, I just smile and say yes. I put on my earmuffs, open the theater door to the outside world, and cross the street to the cafe. I find myself waiting for her to walk out after me. I tell myself if she comes out within the next 5 minutes, I’ll run over to her and exchange emails. I wait for 10 minutes, but I don’t see her, so I leave. The whole encounter leaves me feeling refreshed and lost at the same time, like someone who takes their honeymoon alone. 

When I get off the trolley, I pass the local elementary school and baseball field. A flock of Canadian geese is resting in the milk-white snow, their long black necks coiled up into their feathers. They are sitting so still that they look like little pebbles. I think to myself that they must be stopping in from Quebec or New Brunswick, making their way down to Florida. 

I wonder if Jo enjoys the migrating geese in Minnesota, if they ever pop up in her dreams about the nature of her home state. I imagine a young Jo about 12 years old, sprinting through the Aspen Parkland prairies in the spring, her siblings at home waiting for her. The Canadian geese fly above her against the clear blue skies in a V formation. I make her hair blonde like mine, and I wonder if one day I will be in my 80s, trudging out through the snow to the Paramount Theater, alone. If I am, it will be an honor. 

Boston Students! Get 20% off at Nirvana in Cambridge with this coupon and your student ID.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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How to Stay Somewhat Sane

Tuesday, February 4th, 2025
Another week of trying my best to not end up like Georgina Sparks

It’s 6:30 p.m. on a Sunday, and I’ve just had dinner—sausage and roasted asparagus. I head upstairs to fold the laundry and hang my dresses as reality TV plays in the background. When I finally crawl into bed, I shed a tear, and then a few more, and then a lot more. With blurry vision, I find myself clicking “pay” on a transaction for vintage Coach ballet flats I don’t need, and then I pour myself a tall glass of Prosecco. With a damp sleep mask over my eyes, I fall asleep to the sounds of 40-year-old narcissists screaming over Andy Cohen. I toss and turn throughout the night, and when I wake up, I’m puffy, nauseated, and a bit disoriented. 

This past weekend, I had brunch downtown with my two friends. We waited outside in 30° weather for gourmet omelets and signature lattes (they were luckily worth it). In between conversations about crispy tofu and men with anger issues, my friend Grace asked us if we’d been to Pressed, which is a popular cafe with a main location in Boston. My friend Amber and I thought Grace said, “Have you guys ever been depressed?”

 Slightly caught off guard by the apparent switch of topics, Amber responded with comedic elegance, “Yes, but it’s seasonal, and I have a happy lamp for that.” I followed, “I mean, hasn’t everyone from time to time?” The miscommunication was sidesplitting once we realized Grace was talking about hot paninis and not mental health issues, but it did get me wondering how many people might be feeling some variation of downcast lately, whether it be because of the season, politics, issues in their personal or work life, or just their biology. 

The signature latte in question

January was, in essence, the taking down of cheerful holiday lights, the drives back to work that grow drearier by the day, and the slow realization that the insolent Jack Frost is here to stay. Many Americans start falling into the rut of being low-energy, negative, and struggling mentally. With an election year on top of it, the levels of stress and anxiety around the country have only served as the cherry on top.

Some of us turn to escapism tactics like online shopping and celebrity drama. All in good fun, too much of anything is a bad thing. One Sunday night of wine and tears is excusable, but frequenting such activities is—say it all together now—self-destructive and detrimental to our well-being. I may not have all the answers or even relatively decent ones, but I’ve decided a list of ways to stay somewhat sane this winter is as good a start as any. Like Voltaire said, “Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.”

Immersing myself in art is always a great way to get out of my head and appreciate my surroundings
  1. Practice Daily Gratitude: 
    • Focusing on things we’re grateful for can help shift our perspectives and make us feel less overwhelmed, especially during challenging moments. Whether you write out a list or just say it to yourself as it comes, practicing gratitude can encourage you to remember what you have, no matter how small, and foster a sense of stability within you.
  2. Accept Your Emotions: 
    • Acknowledging our emotions instead of hiding or trying to change them can help us prevent emotional build-up. We shouldn’t judge ourselves for feeling upset but instead, accept our negative emotions for what they are and use them to navigate our life with more clarity. 
  3. Get Off Your Phone:
    • Taking a break from our phones can help reduce stress and anxiety by limiting our exposure to negative news and social media. It also allows us to be present and make deeper connections with what is right in front of us daily.
  4. Set Small, Achievable Goals:
    •  Setting small goals can lead to more celebrations that boost our confidence and make progress more satisfying. By breaking up our long-term goals into more manageable steps, we can make our dreams feel more attainable. 
  5. Laugh With Friends:
    • Getting together with friends provides us with a sense of belonging that can help offset the stressors in our lives. Additionally, our friends serve as a great support system that can lift our dopamine levels!
  6. Avoid Negative Language: 
    • Positive self-talk opens our minds up to the possibility of things going our way. If we are constantly looking for the bad in us and our surroundings, we’re more likely to find it in everything. This can cloud our perception and send us into a spiral. Oppositely, if we train our brains to look for the good first, we can actually lessen our anxieties.
  7. Get Yourself a Little Treat: 
    • Of course, rewarding ourselves with even something small provides a psychological boost and solidifies a method of self-care during tough times. It serves as a reminder that we deserve kindness and moments of joy, especially when we need it most.
  8. Ask For Help
    • If you’re feeling like your emotions are weighing heavier than you can handle, it’s important to reach out to a professional who can offer support. Talking to a therapist or counselor can help you navigate through any kind of tough time. We don’t have to go through it alone, and there’s no shame in asking for help when we need it.
Have yourself a warm Sunday brunch at Cafe Landwer! Boston Students can get $10 off their first mobile order when they use the code LANDWERSTUDENT

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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On Holiday Rom-Coms and Life’s Impermanence

Tuesday, December 17th, 2024

Nora Ephron is my hero.

When I was 18, I watched When Harry Met Sally for the first time via a pirated film service that no longer exists. I was cold and confused in September in Chicago, bawling my eyes out to a relatable Billy Crystal and his somber evening with Mallomars and dubious soliloquies. By Christmas, I had seen it probably more than 10 times. 

First snow of the season for Boston!

During my undergrad, with several campus libraries at my disposal, I dove into everything Ephron had to offer. I watched all her films, I read all her books, I scoured the internet for her articles, recipes, and commencement speeches, and I solidified her as my writing idol.

Ephron’s use of humor paralleled with her examinations of mortality is something so valuable and necessary to make it through the harder parts of life. When Harry Met Sally’s witty dialogue makes the theme of impermanence a softer pill to swallow: Harry reads the last page of every book he buys first just in case he dies before he makes it to the end; Sally is petrified of eventually someday turning 40— “It’s just sitting there like this big dead end!”; Their awkward New Year’s kiss marks the end of their friendship and the beginning of their road to love. When we really look into it, the undertone of this fan-favored rom-com is actually quite pensive, reflecting on the various ways that people perceive the passing of time, especially in terms of love and loss. 

In Ephron’s novel, I Feel Bad About My Neck, She tackles the subject of getting older with the same irreverence, blending comedy with the melancholy of losing physical vitality. While Ephron is always funny first, there is an intense poignant edge to her reflections, and right when she seems to be getting almost too serious for comfort, she throws a lighthearted life preserver to her audience: “Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.”

My ideal Sunday morning: Watching Gossip Girl in my reading nook.

The holidays always make me think of Ephron. When the leaves begin to die and the possibility of snow shows up in the forecast, I start to see her writing at every turn. It makes sense: the coming together of family and friends (or lack thereof), the traditions lost and new, my birthday, and the end of another year— Not to mention I manage to be surprised by the threat of mortality every December. Sometimes it feels like the holiday parties and birthday celebrations are simply fun ways to cope with the end of an era, whatever that may be to us personally. It’s a good thing! I think movies are something of the same.

More than a holiday party or birthday dinner to mask the existentialism of the winter, sometimes what we’re really in need of is some self-care–on our own terms. When I think of self-care during the ‘ber months, I envision mornings laying in bed until 9:00 a.m. and watching You’ve Got Mail over biscuits and coffee (Yes, for me, 9:00 a.m. is late). Often, all we really need is to feel close to the little things in life that bring us joy. 

Speaking of things that bring us joy, The Carrie Bradshaw in me has been finding joy in new shoes, like these Berkleigh Blacks from Steve Madden. I quote, “When one door closes, a shoe box opens.”

Whether it be the general orchestrating stress of the holidays, the existentialism that comes with the seasons, or problems that hit closer to home, make sure you’re prioritizing your well-being this holiday season. For students in Boston, I’ve compiled a list of self-care activities for any kind of person, but all of which are quite Ephron-esque.

One of my favorite self-care activities last year was taking icy walks in the snow with the birds. I was freezing, but at least I saw some nature.

1. Visit a Cozy Café

Winter is the perfect time to enjoy a warm drink. Head to a local café like Tatte or Caffé Nero and treat yourself to hot coffee or cocoa, soups, and pastries.

2. Take a Winter Walk in the Snow

Bundle up and enjoy the beauty of a quiet winter walk through areas like Boston Common, The Public Garden, or along the Charles River Esplanade. The fresh air and peaceful atmosphere can be incredibly refreshing. Researchers claim just five minutes of exercise in green space or snow space can help your mental health.

3. Visit a Museum or Art Gallery

Spend a few hours at one of Boston’s amazing museums like the Museum of Fine Arts, Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, or the Institute of Contemporary Art (a favorite of mine!). Exploring art or history is both educational and a great way to escape the cold.

4. Take a Long, Relaxing Bath

When the temperature drops, there’s nothing like a warm bath to unwind. Add some Epsom salts, essential oils, or a bath bomb for extra relaxation. Light a few candles and play calming music to create a spa-like experience at home.

5. Attend a Yoga or Meditation Class

Winter can sometimes feel isolating, so attending a yoga or meditation class is a great way to stay grounded. Studios like Prana Power Yoga or YogaWorks offer a variety of classes, or you can find local options online for home practice.

6. Go Ice Skating at Frog Pond

If you’re looking for an outdoor activity, try ice skating on the Frog Pond in Boston Common. It’s a beautiful location to enjoy some winter fun. While you’re there, you can check out The Embrace sculpture and head over to Cafe Bonjour for some French cuisine.

7. Cook a Comforting Winter Meal

Take time to prepare a hearty, warming meal like a vegetable stew, chili, or homemade soup. Enjoying a homemade meal is a nourishing act of self-care, especially when paired with your favorite podcast or music.

8. Read a Book by the Fireplace

If you have access to a fireplace or a cozy corner, curl up with a good book and enjoy the warmth. Whether it’s a comforting novel, an inspiring self-help book, or even poetry, this is a perfect way to relax and unwind.

9. Treat Yourself to a Spa Day

You could book a facial, get a massage, or try a DIY spa day with hydrating face masks, hand scrubs, and foot soaks. Exhale Spa and MG Spa (which offers 20% off to students!) are great local spots to relax and rejuvenate.

10. Of Course, Watch a Movie Marathon or Binge a TV Series

In my opinion, there’s nothing better than snuggling up with blankets and watching your favorite movies or TV shows. Whether it’s a holiday classic or a binge-worthy series, winter is the ideal time to indulge in a cozy movie marathon with your favorite snacks.

Head to MG Spa for some self-care this winter and get 20% off with your student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Journaling as a Professional: An Interview with Raquel Pidal

Thursday, October 31st, 2024
Emerson at night, a beautiful campus!

Raquel Beatriz Pidal (She/They) is an assistant professor of publishing in the Writing, Literature, and Publishing department at Emerson College. Pidal has been a professor at Emerson since 2018, taking on a full-time role in the fall of 2023. Their career in publishing and literature has taken on many forms in the last two decades, from distributing, designing, and ghostwriting all the way to editorial directing, small- and large-press publishing, and writing coaching.

In addition to Pidal’s accolades and credentials, they are an avid journaler! I sat down with Pidal for an insightful conversation on how journaling has influenced her professional and personal lives, all starting with a diary at 8 years old.

Pidal: I started keeping a diary of sorts when I was very small, and I’ve probably been keeping some form of journal or diary ever since then. I’m not super consistent with it. There have definitely been years where I haven’t done very much journaling, and then there are other times where I do it every day. It’s more about how it helps me and serves me as opposed to having to keep a routine.

Q: Have you kept all your journals since you were 8 years old?

Pidal: I pretty much keep them all. I don’t necessarily reread them, but I have gone back and looked at some of them sometimes, especially if I’m like, “What was going on at this point in my life?”

An old picture of my journal from 2022 that gained character development as my unstable bedside coaster.

Q: Have you noticed a pattern in when you tend to journal more, or if you change the way that you journal throughout different stages of your life?

Pidal: A lot of times, I have turned to journaling if I’m having problems. It’s a good place to vent, put problems down, brainstorm solutions, and figure out what I’m thinking. For example, if I’m having a challenge, or if I’m trying to figure out what my feelings are about something. I also use it when I’m trying to make a decision. It’s very helpful for pros and cons lists. I certainly use it for many other things, but those seem to be times when I really use it and get very prodigious with it in terms of everyday journaling and working through that stuff.

Q: what’s your favorite thing about journaling? What’s your least favorite? 

Pidal: My favorite thing about it is that it’s a good way to know what you’re thinking. It’s a good way to have a conversation with yourself. A lot of times I’ve not realized I’ve had a feeling or a thought until I’ve written it down, and it’s been really helpful in that way. 

Maybe my least favorite thing about it is having a really fancy notebook and then feeling anxious about what I’m going to put in it. Am I going to use it for writing about stuff and then it’s going to get messy, or am I going to keep it for something special? The feeling of having a pristine notebook and what you’re going to put in it seems very silly and trite, but I think people understand that.

Everyone experiences writer’s block, even my dog, Goob!
(He stole my papers.)

Q: How has journaling influenced your writing?

Pidal: I use journaling a lot when I’m writing, and it helps me figure out my ideas. I use it for drafting pre-writing, and figuring out what it is I want to say. I’m an editor by trade, so I’m not a big fan of the blank page and the draft. That’s my least favorite part, which is funny because I know a lot of writers, and their least favorite part is revision, but that’s my favorite part. 

I like to revise, and it’s hard for me to get stuff down on the page, so a lot of times, I use specific writing notebooks or journals to keep track of my ideas, or actually just write about the writing process, which seems very meta, but can be really helpful. By working stuff out in advance, it makes it easier when I sit down to do the drafting.

Especially for non-fiction projects–I’m working on one right now–the act of just keeping track of ideas, not solely trusting my brain to keep track of them but putting them into a notebook when I have the ideas, is really key. Right now I’m trying to determine what kind of content my book is going to have and how I’m going to structure it. I can’t know that until I figure out some ideas, and I need a place to put them where I’m allowed to be really messy and figure out what it is I want to say, and that’s what the journal is helpful for. If feel like it feels too official to sit down and start typing, I’m allowed to just kind of meander when I’m in a journal; I can just poke around and explore and have that conversation with myself. 

Q: What advice would you give to people who are just starting to get into journaling, whether it be to push their creative endeavors or just to manage their day-to-day lives?

Pidal: I would say people shouldn’t feel daunted or afraid or worried that they’re doing it wrong. It’s really for you; you can use your journal in whatever way you want. There are lots of books of prompts out there that can be really helpful. So, if people are like, “I really want to start journaling, but I don’t really know what to write about, I have nothing to say,” there can be really good books out there that help people with big, open-ended questions.

Also, a journal can just be a book of lists: “Here are five things I saw today that are really interesting,” or it can be a place where you keep track of stuff you want to do. There are so many different ways to use a journal. So I think for people who are just starting out, there are no rules. It’s really up to you. And I have all kinds of notebooks for all kinds of stuff. And if it feels daunting to call it a journal, just call it a notebook. It’s just your “notebook of stuff,” and that can be helpful.


Boston students! Get a free coffee from Taiyaki in Cambridge!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Visiting the Ghosts of Your Journal’s Past

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2024

The seasons are changing, the sun is retreating, and midterms are looming. It’s time to buckle up for a serious talk on mental health!

When I finished my last journal, I remember flipping through the pages and seeing a lot of repetitive statements. On my worst days, I often wrote, “I wish I could get rid of these kinds of thoughts.” As someone who suffers from anxiety, I have a hard time turning my brain off, especially if it believes something terrible could happen. I dwell over a lot of What-ifs that are outside of my control, which often leads me to worry constantly. When I have more intense anxiety attacks, I have a tendency to mull over the same existential crisis, “What if this is going to be the worst day of my life?,” for hours until I reach some kind of resolution; sometimes this is just the day coming to an end and I thankfully realize nothing bad happened. By that point, I am grateful, but I am also emotionally drained.

Rereading my journal was a hard pill to swallow. While I was aware most of my journaling takes place when I’m not doing well, I had difficulty facing the fact that maybe I wasn’t doing as well mentally as I had thought. Wishing I had seen more “Today, I have felt great,” or “I felt anxious, but I was able to overcome it and enjoy my time,” I also felt disappointed in myself for not writing more appreciation for the little wins I experience daily. I immediately realized I wanted to work towards rewiring my brain to think positively first rather than with worry and panic. When I brought it up to my therapist, she said it was important that I recognized my thought patterns, as now we could work towards dismantling them–fun times!

Hands-on activities like painting, building, organizing, and decorating help me relieve my anxiety and feel more in control of my thoughts.

Visiting the ghosts of your journal’s past is not always a happy-go-lucky experience. On one hand, it can be hilarious to reread journals from 5 or 6 years ago, laughing at the things you used to think were problems, or even just the way you wrote (“Oh my gosh, the way Matthew constantly touches his crotch is like, SOOOO icky”). On the other hand, rereading your journals can be an eye-opening experience that brings about a new level of self-awareness. It can show your growth, or it can show you that maybe you need some extra help. 

What I learned from rereading my journals and talking about it with my therapist was that I experience unwanted, intrusive, and repeated thoughts that cause anxiety. Because of this, I need to take active measures to recognize my anxious thoughts versus my actual thoughts. I challenge my anxious thoughts, stay active, and, most importantly, give myself compassion. Luckily, my journal is a great outlet to do so.

When I journal for help with my anxious thoughts, I usually start by reminding myself that while anything can technically happen on any given day, the worst outcome is not the most plausible one. I take time to write down, “I guess today could be the worst day of my life, but it is far more likely that today will be a beautifully ordinary day, so I should focus on that instead.”

Additionally, sometimes I write out all my worries on paper so they feel less scary. I find that saying your fears out loud, writing them down, or talking them through can help you face them, process them, and eventually turn them into personal growth. It’s also important to write what you hope for. For example, one could write, “I have anxiety, and I fear something awful will happen today that will cause me immense pain, but I know that is far from likely, and I am actually just being triggered by ____ ____ and _____. I am strong, everything will work out the way I intend it to, and there’s no valid evidence to suggest otherwise.” At the end of writing out my worries, I add “The End” to close off all of my worries and end the cycle of thoughts. Usually, I’m left feeling like I’ve done all that I can, and I have to be content with that for now.

Going on walks and listening to podcasts (currently obsessed with Giggly Squad!) also helps me lessen my anxious thoughts.

What I’ve also practiced in my journal is writing mantras. These help me challenge negative thoughts and build confidence in myself against my existential anxiety. I also say these mantras out loud when I do not have access to my journal. I tell myself “My fears are not my reality” and “I am in charge of how I feel, and today I choose happiness.” It may feel odd at first, but it does help! We may not have control over most things, but we do have control over how we respond to the world around us.

While these are just a few journaling techniques, there are many more that can be helpful for those struggling with their mental health, or those just having a bad day in general.

As you move about your day, remember that no one is perfect. Give yourself the grace you deserve, and prioritize your mental well-being. Life can be very overwhelming, which is why finding tools (plural!) to help us through the harder moments is so important.

On the topic of mental health, don’t impulsively cut your hair and regret it! Go to a professional and get a new ‘do at Pathos Salon! 15% off for first-time customers with student IDs.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Today I Wanted to Throw Things (But I Wrote Instead)

Friday, October 18th, 2024

Drumroll, Please.

Today, I want to talk about the patriarchy (Run!).

As I have gotten older, I’ve become more and more startled by the sexism I’ve endured. I always naively assumed that these experiences would diminish as I got older. When I was a teen, I thought being an adult meant men would finally start to think with the heads on their shoulders. Between the ages of 18 and 22, I shamefully let a lot of college guys off easy. In reality, they deserved a punch in the right place, and it was all for the same reason: It was ingrained in me to think “Well, they’re just boys, right?” equating them to dogs that keep shitting on the carpet well after their puppy years. I also didn’t want to be the girl with a problem who was no fun because she couldn’t take certain “jokes,” or the girl who cared too much about right and wrong. Now, at 24, I am finally and simply beside myself. There is no other way to put it. I keep thinking about how the mistreatment of women gave rise to James Tiptree Jr.’s Houston, Houston, Do You Read?, a story where men no longer exist and the effects of the patriarchy are long forgone.

In the past few years, what has surprised me the most is the number of women I’ve met who perpetuate the patriarchy: women who’ve belittled me because I’m younger than them so my presence makes them insecure about their age: women who believe being unmarried makes my value as a person decline; women who objectify and shame each other, and unapologetically support men who do. 

I have just started my third year of teaching at a new school, and there is no AC. The classroom I teach in faces the afternoon sun. When I started working in September, temperatures reached well above 85 degrees Fahrenheit inside. After about a week of suffering in slacks, I wore business casual shorts. The fabric went past my fingertips when I put my arms down by my side—adhering to the school’s dress code policy. I even asked my boyfriend if he thought they were fine, and he said yes. Despite other female teachers wearing skirts and dresses the same length to no complaint, I was pulled into the office by an older woman in the administration. She said, “You’re new and so young, so you’re already drawing attention from the parents. You wouldn’t want to give people the wrong idea, too.” I froze. I think eventually I just said, “Okay.”

We are not always in such a privileged position to say what’s on our minds. Though we’d often like to let people have it without facing some kind of consequence, life doesn’t work that way for the majority of us. Let’s not forget, too, that BIPOC communities and women are often punished more harshly for the same mistakes as white men in the workplace. The things some men got away with doing and saying at my old jobs without even a pat on the wrist were absurd. The number of women I saw get let go for less harmful or comparable instances was worse. 

When you’re angry, it’s good to get out and enjoy nature for a while.

What’s Your Damage, Heather?

Believe it or not, this is not some exposé of the U.S. education system and its flaws. The sad fact is that I’ve simply had a very ordinary epiphany. I guess I’ve fully realized that the patriarchy is everywhere, toxic masculinity is everywhere, and I am just another young woman who’ll have to deal with it for the majority of my lifetime. After the shockwave of this realization subsided, all I wanted to do was curse out every person around me.

When we desire to hurt those who have hurt us, what are our options? Which ones leave us in the healthiest position (with the smallest chance of getting arrested)? 

In an NPR interview last week with Rachel Martin, Margaret Atwood said, “I’m quite vengeful. I can’t help it. It’s who I am. So I make [critics] into idiotic people in fiction.” This idea of rerouting your anger and using it for creative, internal gain is similar to rage journaling. 

Rage journaling, where you write out all your nasty anger until it diminishes and some clarity of mind creeps in, is less preferable to, let’s say, smashing someone’s windshield. This is because we crave a physical, visual outcome that satisfies our primitive need for control and dominance. If someone breaks us, we want to see them, or something of theirs, break as well. 

Obviously, we can not and should not resort to violence or outward aggression that is directed at and negatively impacts other living things. Therefore, using a rage journal can be a cost-effective and healthy way to help you let out your anger safely. It can also fuel your creativity when writing antagonists for your novels!

In my journal, I curse people out, call them names, tell them their mother would be disappointed in them, and the best part is I can still face them the next day not feeling guilty, embarrassed, or knowing that my last check has already come in the mail. Rage journaling validates your emotions, gives you time to process your feelings, let your anger out, and learn how to proceed with a conflict in a more appropriate manner. Overall, if you rage journal first, you can choose, to respond with rationality as opposed to heated emotions.

That being said, if you are someone like me who has anger that can’t be disposed of because it concerns the world and how it works, rage journaling is not a one-stop solution. Rage rooms are a good supplement. So is exercise, especially boxing. Screaming into a pillow is cathartic, too. Therapy is a must.

Me sunbathing, fully clothed, during my lunch break.

Truthfully, you should also stand up for yourself when you get mistreated, in the workplace or otherwise.  If you find yourself repeatedly having to rage journal or having to explain to someone else how their actions have caused harm and you’re still being treated unfairly, that is a whole other story. At that point, it could be time for HR to step in, or some kind of higher authority with the power to make things right, even if you do have to bring representation in. While we don’t like to think about things getting that out of hand, it’s important to recognize the severity of a situation and evaluate the best course of action.

The hope is that we can rage journal, show up to work the next day, and have a productive conversation that changes things for the better. It is important to try to handle conflict with patience, clarity, and logic, and sometimes that is hard to do if you are blinded by anger or hatred. At least your journal will never yell back at you.

Boston Students! Get 20% off at Gloria’s Beauty Center in Allston with your student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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Dear No One: Letters That Stay Unsent

Monday, October 7th, 2024

I’ve written a fair share of letters in my day. It’s the romantic in me who feels written words, those that are so exquisitely accurate in their portrayal of love and loss, are the pinnacle of my existence. If I love someone, I have to write to them; it’s instinctive. This doesn’t mean, however, that I send all or even the majority of the letters I write. That is the coward in me, too afraid people will hold me to the words I write at a specific moment in time, too embarrassed to have a crowd of recipients holding physical evidence of my admiration for them.

As a general rule, the best course of action for most situations is to be honest and share your feelings with others. If you love them, admire them, miss them, are happy for them, or want to let them know you’re thinking of them, then, by all means, send them a letter! As long as you are not hurting anyone by sending this letter, there is no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. More importantly, you could make someone’s day. For me, nothing is more touching than receiving a handwritten letter from someone I care about. When I die, bury me in a coffin full of all the letters written to me.

Sometimes I do work at Emerson, sometimes I take a whole meeting room to myself and take selfies in the sunlight. First come, first serve.

A different truth is, of course, that life goes on. People hurt one another, lose touch, or slowly fade into the background of one’s existence. Things are constantly fluctuating, changing in ways we can’t prepare for. We are so busy! Work, school, internships; new friends, new subway lines, new bars; a big love, a big house, a big quarter-life crisis. Our minds are often scrambled, just trying to get through the motions of everyday life and enjoy it as it comes. Then, it creeps up on you, that random Friday afternoon. You hear a song you haven’t heard in a while, and it brings you back to a few years ago. Time freezes as you relive a life that you are so far removed from you wonder if it was ever even yours. Now, you’ve found yourself missing people you shouldn’t, realizing the window of opportunity to reach out has long passed, rightfully so. You’re flooded with nostalgia, rose-colored and inflated. Pouring your heart and soul out to them now would be more than wrong. 

Alexa, play ‘Bad Idea, Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo. Let this be a call to all the dewy-eyed girlies: Do NOT listen to that voice in your head telling you to make a harmless phone call to people who’ve hurt you. You have an alternative, and while it may not be as riveting of a story to tell at the cute cocktail spill-all, it is the healthier thing to do. The past is in the past, and you will never get it back, nor should you want to! More importantly, you are not the person you once were, and that is a good thing. Understand, too, that sometimes it is simply fun to reminisce, to repaint the past with the fresh perspective of a refined frontal lobe, but that doesn’t mean you should run with your naivety, expecting a new rendition of your past to become your reality.

A photo I took of two kids hanging out in Seaport, 2022.

Such circumstances as these are the perfect times to write a letter that is purposefully intended to not be sent anywhere. You can say everything you want to say, feel everything you want to feel, and simply tear it up (or burn it, which is thrilling!) when you’re done reading it over. There’s no regret, no embarrassment, no hurting others by bringing unsolicited memories back into fruition, and no risking your current peace. This is your chance to leave the “But What If?” to die. 

That being said, my favorite place to write letters I’ll never send is in my journal. Sometimes I will rip the pages out, crumble them, and toss them in the recycling bin. Other times I will leave them in my journal to look back on. I have also burned a few. Occasionally, I type them up and pretend I’m Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, but I usually just put a lock on the document until I feel I’ve outgrown whatever  I wrote down, and then I trash it. I’ve even dropped a few letters in the mailbox with no return or send address. One, I’m not proud of is when I sent a letter down a river, which was environmentally careless, but I was desperate for some kind of cinematic, main character energy to justify my emotions (Ah, to be 18 again). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you write your letter or in what way you discard it afterward. As long as you get the cathartic release you need, you’ve done yourself some good, and you should be proud.

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Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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