Archive for January, 2025

The Digital Detox: Taking a break from technology or each other?

Wednesday, January 22nd, 2025

At one time or another, we’ve all seen a dramatic announcement on someone’s Instagram story. Their vague text post reads a little something like this:

Deleting Insta. If you need me and you’re important enough, you have my number. To the rest of you, good luck finding me.

While I enjoy a casual cup of tea, these updates from random acquaintances always fall a little flat. There’s a notion to send a “Hope you’re okay!” DM, but they’re supposedly deleting their account any second now. Then there’s the passive-aggressive ‘Good luck’ that’s a bit off-putting. I can only envision myself responding to something like this if a close friend posted it, to which I would reply, “Lol, delete this.” 

Another kind of ‘logging off’ post I’ve seen an uptick of since New Year’s is the foreshadowing announcement, which says, “You may have inside access to my amazing life now, but one day I’ll disappear, and you’ll be left to wonder!” I’ve provided some examples:

Digital Detox posts about leaving social media eventually.

Is it… poetry? Is it… a Divergent aptitude test? Is it a rhetorical speech prompting us, who are tied at the hips of social media moguls, to revert to nature and solitude like the transcendentalists of the 19th century?

Even if we are leaving, we want people to hear our footsteps and notice our absence. It is human nature to want to be seen, to be known, and to want others to care; these desires are the origins of these posts. Even though it’s easy to see through the attention-seeking nature of it all, an interesting conversation is raised about the broader topic of digital detoxes and their effectiveness, or lack thereof.

A digital detox is ​​an active choice to disengage from social media, or even all media-related electronics, for a specific time. The forms of limitations depend on the person. Many people just delete social media off their phones and log back in at the end of the day, week, or month. Other people go as far as not using their laptop outside of work and choosing to read instead of watch TV.

In our chronically digital age, how far does a digital detox really go? And is it more performative than anything? One has to wonder if you couldn’t announce it to the world, and if no one even noticed your absence, would so many people really be preaching about temporarily deleting social media? 

Social media posts about digital detoxes.

People go on digital detoxes for various reasons, including to protect their mental health, be more active, live in the moment, and be more grateful. As more users struggle with social media addictions, taking a break from the apps can also help them regain control over their time. While I see the benefits of a digital detox, I feel that the true problem is something deeper. 

Perhaps what people need the biggest break from is the facade-filled algorithm, and there are two ends to this dilemma. Suppose you’re constantly seeing videos and pictures of people with their Mercedes, MiuMiu bags, marble kitchens, model boyfriends, and more. In that case, you’ll likely start to think everyone else has hit the jackpot in life, and you’ve been left in the dust. This, of course, can cloud your perception of reality, hurting your mental well-being.

I think Whitney from Momtok really sums up the whole deal.

The bold and the beautiful swarming your feed can do damage, but I’d argue what’s worse is the number of ordinary people closer to home who are constantly faking their realities on the internet, too. Truly, how many times do we have to see a millennial post their scrub partner and/or their feral children when we know, behind half-cracked doors, they’re having affairs and are on the brink–God willing–of a divorce that their friends would be most pleased about? I’m all for showing off your new set of acrylics or your latest winter read, but showing off a life you’re not even actually happy with? Unnecessary, and a bit sad. 

Whenever I see someone announce their digital detox, it is usually because someone else online has bothered them, and they want everyone else to know it. They are calling attention to the fact that we’re not our true selves when we’re behind a screen, and sometimes, we’re way worse. Though they may be annoying, they’re not totally wrong. We’re performing for each other, and it’s not the far-away influencers that get to us in the end, but the people we know personally who got the ‘social’ part all wrong. We should know by now not to share everything, but not to masquerade either. 

It’s time we start navigating social media with more authenticity and more autonomy (and possibly fewer pictures of babies? Thanks). Next time you’re feeling like taking a digital detox, don’t announce it, but do ask yourself: Is it too much MiuMiu, too many daddies hiding behind alcohol dependencies, or both? 

Take a break from your phone and treat yourself to a tech-free spa day at Best MG Spa in Allston! Students get 20% off with this coupon and student ID.

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.

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Let’s Talk About Boundaries, Baby!

Monday, January 13th, 2025

Welcome to a year focused on self-care and wellness, because we need it!

While many, many news articles in the last 10 days have put the tightest knots in my stomach, I’d prefer to focus on things more in my control. An overlooked benefit of living in 2025 is our transparency with personal boundaries and how to use them. So long to the days of people-pleasing to the point of exhaustion; say farewell to conversations about overstimulation being taboo; and, lastly, good riddance to making ourselves uncomfortable for the sake of perception alone.

Over break, I spent some time lounging at hotel pools, which is one of my favorite self-care activities!

Boundaries can look like many things, but for the most part, they are simply the lines we draw for ourselves in terms of our level of comfort around others. They can involve physical contact, verbal interactions, personal space, emotions, romance, time, individual belongings, and even the workplace. Here are some quick examples:

  • Not wanting a friend, family member, or coworker to speak down to you is a verbal boundary.
  • Not feeling comfortable when others show up at your house without warning is a personal space boundary. 
  • Protecting your ability to do your work without interference or drama, especially that which extends outside the workplace, is a work-life boundary. 

There are all kinds of boundaries, and the best part is that all of them are valid!

I’ll be the first to say that, for the majority of my life, I was undoubtedly an extreme people-pleaser, and this made it very hard for me to set boundaries. I didn’t know how to handle confrontation, and I didn’t like taking risks. What if I tried to set a boundary, and I lost my friend in the process? I had a few lines that couldn’t be crossed, of course, but for the most part, I often held my tongue, fuming in my discomfort, to maintain some variation of peace and order. This was not a win-win situation, as at the end of the day I had gone against my desires, and I’d built up a resentment towards those I’d done so for. 

As an introvert, I need a lot of time to decompress. After work and class, I tend not to take phone calls or FaceTime unless there’s an emergency to protect my alone time.

It wasn’t until I left Florida and started working full-time (How I miss the days of living off scholarship money) that I realized how important boundaries are. With most of the sunlit day spent at the hands of the dollar, every ounce of free time I now have is something I cherish to the utmost degree. I have less time to spend at this point in my life, so I want to spend it on the right things. if I let people waste that time, I’ll feel more burnt out and irritated than ever.

The fact of the matter is, as you get older, you learn that the approval of others just can’t come at your sacrifice.  Now at 25, I don’t waste my energy trying to prove myself to people who don’t see my worth— and let’s face it, as a woman, I’m just all too tired of that anyway. With all of the trials and tribulations of being a full-on adult, you get to a point in time where a question starts to loom over your head: How much crap are you willing to take, and who from?

While I’d like to tell you the answer is “NONE AND FROM NO ONE,” that’s simply not the world we live in. However, if you start to feel exhausted, angry, or upset consistently because of a certain person or situation, it may be time to set some boundaries.

Another self-care activity I enjoy is cooking. Here, I made fried rice with veggies and tofu!

Setting boundaries has become a more open and honest topic today, but the conversation can still be hard depending on who you’re talking to. Feeling awkward and even guilty is normal, and you can factor in the possibility that the other party will be defensive, too. Nevertheless, it’s important to stand your ground and let it be known that you and your time are valuable! Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-care. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind as you start the new year looking out for you:

1. Know Your Limits

Before setting boundaries, you should take some time to reflect on when you do and don’t feel your best. What drains your energy? What makes you feel respected? Recognizing these limits can help you define clear boundaries before telling them to someone else.

2. Communicate Clearly and Assertively

Be direct and honest when communicating your needs. For example, in work, say, “I’m unable to take on extra tasks this week.” Point-blank. Also, in social or romantic relationships, don’t feel afraid to express what you need to feel comfortable. Any friend or partner will be able to understand that you’re coming from a good place. That conversation could start with something like “I love our time together, but after work, I need space to recharge by myself.”

3. Be Consistent

Enforce your boundaries consistently. If you let them slide occasionally, it can confuse others and undermine your efforts. Gently remind people when a boundary is crossed. While everyone is human and makes mistakes, if someone constantly disobeys your boundaries, it may be a sign that they don’t take you seriously and that your relationship is not mutually beneficial. 

4. Learn to Say No

It’s okay to say no without feeling guilty! Practice it in small, low-stakes situations to build confidence. Saying no is an act of self-respect, not selfishness, despite those who may say otherwise.

5. Respect Others’ Boundaries

Respect the boundaries of others, too. One of the best ways to get comfortable with our boundary-setting is to have the ability to recognize when others are setting boundaries. If we can be mindful of those around us, then we can expect them to do the same.

Spend some me-time and get 20% off at Gloria’s Beauty Center in Allston with your student ID!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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NYC Coupon Cards 2025

Friday, January 3rd, 2025
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