New York City can feel like you are dropped into a sea of strangers when you first arrive. The sidewalks are always crowded, the subway cars are packed, and even the local Trader Joe’s is always swarming with people. Despite being constantly surrounded by others, it’s easy to feel completely alone. I know firsthand that college students, especially those who’ve moved from quieter places, can feel this loneliness hit hard, like an oncoming train. Most kids have to adjust to a new school, which is already scary, but when moving to NYC, you’re building a whole new life from scratch in a city filled with 8 million people. So, how do you get through that? Well, there is no exact answer, no step-by-step guide or recipe to follow, but what I can say is the key to surviving and thriving is by having true friends by your side.
When I got into NYU, I knew almost no one heading into the city. Like many other incoming freshmen, I turned to Instagram to find potential roommates and maybe even a few friendly faces to recognize on campus. That’s how I found the person who ended up being my roommate, but also my best friend. I was hesitant to reach out, but when I saw that we had a lot of similarities, I figured hitting send on a DM to her was worth the shot. We ended up bonding over a shared love for Harry Styles and our excitement for not having to use communal bathrooms at NYU. What started as a few DMs turned into something much deeper. The day we moved in, we connected instantly, and by the end of that first week, we were finishing each other’s sentences.

After countless midnight snack runs, sometimes even in the rain, we decided we wanted to connect with other students in our building. I had the unique idea of playing tic-tac-toe through our dorm room doors. Literally. We would scribble Xs and Os on paper and slide them under random kids’ doors and then sit back on the floor of our room eagerly awaiting for a paper to slide back under our door. We felt like kids passing notes in class, which was both nostalgic and comforting. It might have been silly, and maybe even a tad childish, but it made those first few weeks feel a little less scary.
My relationship with my roommate was rare and something I still cherish today as we are going into our fourth year of living together. However, not everyone finds their people on day one, and that is both completely okay and normal. The truth is, it takes time to form real, lasting connections in a place as busy and quickly paced as NYC. You’ll meet hundreds of people in your first semester alone, whether it’s in the classroom, club meetings, or even the elevators. Some people may ask if the seat next to you is taken and then never see you again. Some friendships will fade, but the exciting part is that some will stick forever.
Just a couple of days ago, I sat down on a bench waiting to meet my mom and stepdad for lunch, and a girl sitting next to me suddenly turned and started talking. She was visiting her friend in the city, and we chatted for 15 minutes about both everything and nothing. There was no agenda, no expectation. It reminded me that in this city, friendships often begin with the smallest gestures, like a comment about the weather, a compliment on someone’s outfit, or even a game of tic-tac-toe between two dorm doors.
One of the most important things that I’ve learned over the past few years is that finding your people in NYC is a journey, not a race. You have to relax and trust that you will meet your people, whether it’s in your DMs, on a park bench, or maybe even in the room next door. And when you do meet them, hold onto them. In a city of 8 million, those few who truly get the real you, make all the difference.

By: Skylar Park
Skylar Park is a Film & TV student at NYU with a passion for storytelling and city adventures. When she’s not writing or filming, you can find her running by the East River or hunting down the coziest bookstores in New York City.
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