Posts Tagged ‘college life’

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People You Hate

Friday, November 10th, 2023

If there is one thing that is for sure going to happen in college, in life, it’s that you are going to meet people that you just don’t like. I go to a pretty small college, and for the most part I like to think that I can get along well with anyone. That being said, even in my small community, I have some opposition. There are a couple of people that I just do not like, for whatever reason.

My first year of college was online because of Covid, so my first year in the dorms was my sophomore year. I decided to go random for a roommate, and was matched with someone I seemed to have nothing in common with. I moved in without talking to her at all, with the exception of a five minute phone call discussing if the rug she wanted to buy would fit ok in our small shared space. I had a feeling that we wouldn’t be best friends, but that was ok with me. I thought we would at least be able to cohabitate.

Wrong. I’m going to skip the details, for my sake and yours, but we did not get along at all. We had some problems that we could not resolve without getting residential life involved, and it put an extreme strain on our already foundationless relationship. I ended up moving rooms two weeks into school and we hardly saw each other after that, but once in a while we would run into each other on campus. No words were ever said, but every look we exchanged was charged with strong mutual dislike. In truth, I hated her. 

Me and my new roommate get along much better!

Now, I understand that maybe hate is a strong word, but in my case it is accurate. When everything was fresh, seeing her would rile me up. Heart rate increased, face hot, stomach turning–the whole thing. Laying eyes on her fired me up to the point of significant distress, and I fed into the toxicity that is hatred. I talked bad about her to my friends, I gave her dirty looks, I blocked her on instagram. I am not proud of the way I handled our conflict, but because I felt that my feelings were justified, I didn’t realize how my own negativity was poisonous to my mental well being. Why should I carry all this anger with me over something that had long been over?

Time, as it does, diluted those strong feelings greatly, and now, in my senior year, I do not really think about her at all. Or at least, I hadn’t in a while, until we ran into each other in the bathroom at a local bar. The two of us made eye contact, but our eyes didn’t hold any tension or malice anymore, it just felt awkward. It seemed that we had both moved on. We sort of smiled at each other, and said a polite hello as I washed my hands. Sitting in that politeness for a moment, I complimented her boots and started to dry my hands. 

“We don’t have beef anymore, right?” she asked. I wasn’t really sure. It all felt so far away now, we had both moved on. My hatred had turned to apathy.

“No, we’re good.” It was time to let go. Even though I hadn’t been thinking about her much lately, it felt good to have some closure. Hate is just not fulfilling, and I didn’t have room in my heart to carry it anymore. We chatted for a few more minutes in the bathroom, and though we will probably never be friends, it felt good to let go of all of that anger I didn’t know I was still holding on to.

Sometimes you have to feel your hate, and that is totally ok, but you cannot let it overpower your joy. Hate is a parasite. It is draining, and heavy. You do not owe anyone your affection or friendship, especially when they have wronged you in the past, but hatred is ugly and wastes energy. It’s one thing to not want to be around someone, it’s another thing to let them live in your mind constantly. Protect your peace and don’t waste your time in anger. You have better things to do.

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By Erin O’Brien

Erin is a student based in Boston, MA studying Communications and Studio Art. She is drawn to telling stories about love and friendship, with themes of humanity and connection at its core. In sharing her personal truths, she hopes to provide readers with nuggets of learned wisdom and college survival skills

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 7: Balancing It Out: How to Have Fun and Still be Organized

Monday, October 30th, 2023

If I’m being completely honest, I’m the absolute worst at staying organized. Time

management skills? Those don’t exist in my world. I just do things when I remember and hope for the best. At least that’s what I used to do.

My freshman year of college, I was interested in majoring in psychology and took a few psych courses. I noticed through those courses that I fit into some of the definitions of ADHD and further researched it. By my sophomore year, I got the diagnosis and things started to make more sense. Turns out your brain is supposed to think in full proper sentences and people are actually able to sit down for hours and focus while studying? Crazy concept.

Anyways, for the first two years of college I was doing mostly alright with a high GPA, but was always stressed and often procrastinated  things to the last minute. Figuring out how to have fun with my friends and also find time to do homework was nearly impossible. Once  I also got a job, my brain was about to burst.

Every year before the first day of classes, I would buy a planner and swear to myself that I would use it and stay organized. Now, if you also have ADHD, you know what it’s like to have everyone suggest buying a planner only to spend money and never use it after the first week. Every year I would spend a day writing out my week and marking when important dates are in the semester, only to forget about it and never open it again. I’m sure for some people, planners are a great way to stay organized and on top of things, and I definitely recommend it for people to try. It just wasn’t the right fit for me.

I then tried different tips people have given me like adding things to my calendar on my phone and getting notifications. However, I couldn’t even figure out how to set up the notifications on the calendar/reminders and every time I tried I would just end up forgetting all about whatever was planned. If you are a tech savvy person, this is probably the best thing for you, but I’m like an old woman and suck at technology. I do like Google calendar though, my boss uses it for work and that at least keeps some part of my life organized.


Meg and I hanging out before the semester starts

It wasn’t until my junior year when I met my friend Meg till I found out what worked for me. My friend Meg is incredibly organized and even schedules their own naps. I had no idea how they did it until one day they showed me a simple checklist they made on their notes app of things they need to get done before the end of the semester. At first it seemed overwhelming, but then I remembered the trick my old therapist told me to do things day by day.

So with both of those things in mind, I opened my notes app and wrote down the things I needed to get done each day for the last two weeks of the semester and it actually worked! I broke down assignments so I wasn’t overwhelmed telling myself to get the entire thing done in one sitting. For example, I would write “Monday: Create essay outline. Tuesday: Write first two paragraphs. Etc.” This way, they were smaller tasks that led to completion. It also helped that every time I checked something off it was super satisfying, especially to see my list get smaller.

When I started my senior year, I wanted to move from my phone to paper because holding a physical to-do list helps me take things more seriously. So instead of buying a planner, I bought an empty lined journal and every Sunday I write down my tasks for each day of the week. Now I’m extremely organized and capable of finding the time to hang out with friends rather than avoiding work or avoiding my friends till everything is done.


My to-do list from the last two weeks. I do a new color each week to keep things exciting!

It’s also important to remind yourself that some days are better than others. You may have a lot written down to do for the day, but it’s not possible to get everything done every single day. And it is also important to treat yourself and still hang out with your friends, especially if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed. It is always best to take care of yourself first.

Summary:

  • I struggled on how to stay organized with school work and having fun
  • I was diagnosed with ADHD but none of the tips people were giving me helped
  • I met my friend Meg and liked the idea of a to-do list
  • I became much more organized and balanced everything out
  • Remember to take care of yourself!
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By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 6: Living my 12 Year Old Fantasy: Working at an Indie Bookstore

Monday, October 23rd, 2023

After my freshman year, I knew that I would need to learn more about budgeting

and that it would be beneficial for me to get a job and receive a steady income. My parents have always been helpful to me when I need money, and I’m grateful to them both for that, but I wanted to be responsible for myself and earn my own money.

I knew that I could get a job on campus, but I also knew that there was a local bookstore in town right off campus. Since I was about twelve years old, it has been my dream to work at a bookstore. Specifically, a small bookstore in the hills of England and living in a little cottage away from everyone. Then one day Harry Styles would walk in and pronounce his love to me, just like in every fanfiction ever. Now I was 19 and I knew Harry Styles wasn’t going to be appearing in Westchester, New York, but I could still get part of this fantasy by working in the bookstore!

My friend Jill that I had mentioned earlier was my current roommate at the time and we motivated each other to get the courage and go to the bookstore to ask if they were hiring together (by ourselves it was too scary). We walked into the store one afternoon and luckily they were hiring for weekend shifts. It was perfect!


Me and Jill taking a goofy selfie after our first training shift

We worked on our resumes together, prepped each other for interviews, and helped each other find a good interview outfit. The afternoon of our interview, we both got the job and started training the next week. We were both extremely excited to be able to work at a place filled with books and get paid to recommend our favorite books.

It has now been two years of  working at the store and I’m so grateful for all of the skills I’ve gained and the people I have met. Because of this job, I had no other choice but to finally learn time management skills and how to balance schoolwork and work-work. It was difficult at first, but if you are truly motivated and love what you are doing, eventually it becomes possible. I also taught myself budgeting and have become much better at speaking with people thanks to the retail part of the job. Even when there’s a mean customer, I’m able to smile and work hard until they leave. Once they’re gone, that is when my coworkers and I scream to let out the stress.


Me and my coworker being asked to take a photo with Elvis when the Elvis movie was promoting

Speaking of coworkers, I ended up meeting some of the best people thanks to this job. In my past job, my coworkers were incredibly toxic and were very “cliquey”. I was nervous about joining this job because some of these people had been working here for a long time and thought it would be the same as my last job, but thankfully it was the exact opposite. Everyone accepted Jill and I right away and were always ready to help when we were confused, and believe me, we were confused. If you’ve ever worked in a bookstore and use the computer program “Book Manager”, you know how confusing and complicated the program is. Even now I’ll still occasionally text my boss with a question.

This job has also been beneficial with my own major, as someone who is interested in publishing. I have met other publishers, have discovered some of the big publishing companies, and have learned how to sell pitches about a book soon to be published to booksellers. I strongly recommend getting a job that may be helpful towards your major. It gives you a quick glimpse into your future and is definitely a great resume booster.

Summary:

  • I wanted to get a job starting my sophomore year of college
  • My roommate and I applied to the local bookstore in town
  • We got the job and I met great people and gained important skills
  • Getting a job in sync with your major is extremely helpful in the future
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By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Don’t Let Ice Breakers Break You

Wednesday, October 18th, 2023
The view from my freshman dorm room in 2019.

As a certified introvert, I dreaded the first week of classes more than just about anything. My first year of college was easily the worst in this regard: every building, professor, and classmate was totally unfamiliar. In addition to the stress of a new environment and new coursework, there was also the overwhelming anxiety of making introductions. I once believed there was no activity on the planet more tortuous than those first day of class ice breakers. I was appalled by every aspect of them: speaking in front of a group, desperately trying to think of one single interesting thing I did that summer. I spent more time agonizing over what fun fact I would share on the first day than actually reading the syllabus for a new class. I was sure it was a circle of hell designed to punish the shy and introverted.
But somewhere around the second semester of my freshman year, I started to realize that icebreakers were actually an opportunity, not a punishment. For many of us, the hardest part of making friends was always initiating that very first conversation. I could never decide where to start. Every sentence I drafted in my head sounded so stilted and awkward spoken out loud. I also had no idea what to say to someone I knew absolutely nothing about. This is where icebreakers came in handy. They gave me something to open with, because I had all this information, like names and majors and at least one semi-interesting thing that happened to them over the summer. I felt more confident approaching people and attempting to make friends with a starting point in mind. It can be something small, or seemingly trivial, but any common ground is better than none.

One girl in my math class, when asked to share a fun fact, started telling a story about the summer camp where she worked as a counselor. I found myself getting so invested in the story, I completely forgot to rehearse what I planned to say. I was completely focused on her story, and it took all of the pressure off once it was my turn. Had the solution really been this easy all along?
The key to alleviating my anxiety surrounding icebreakers was to pay more attention to other people’s answers than my own. The more I rehearsed what I was going to say, the more anxiety inducing the ordeal became. By focusing on my peers and listening intently to what they had to say, I took myself out of my own head and was able to actually start getting to know new people. I also started to realize that everyone else was seemingly just as nervous as I had been. The more we focus on our internal thoughts, we can allow them to overwhelm us. It took me 18 years of life to realize it, but overcoming my own anxiety was a lot less complicated than I made it out to be.

It may seem too simple of a solution: listen to other people in order to take the focus off of yourself. But as it turns out, it’s just simple enough to work. When you treat ice breakers like an opportunity to learn more about your classmates rather than a punishment created specifically to drive you insane, you will get a lot more enjoyment out of them. And if you’re lucky, you’ll make a few friends along the way.

By Jensen Davishines

Jensen Davishines is a recent graduate from Pace University. They are currently living and working in New York City. Follow their blog as they attempt to help their fellow introverts navigate the intensely social years of college.

 

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Chapter 5: Service. Friendship, and Equality: Gamma Sigma Sigma

Monday, October 16th, 2023

Despite having my suitemates and a few other friends, I still felt like I hadn’t been able to get the real college freshman year experience. Thanks to COVID, almost all events were on Zoom, including club meetings. There was one campus organization, though, that I was able to feel connected with despite being on Zoom.

In my first chapter, I mentioned my friend Cayleigh who by then was in their Junior year. In Cayleigh’s freshman year of college, they told me that they had joined a sorority…and I was baffled, flabbergasted, astonished, and many other synonyms for confused. Cayleigh and I had always been very similar and, if you knew us, you knew we were definitely not sorority people. This is no hate to those in a sorority, I honestly find your social skills very impressive because I could never do that. I applaud you all (this isn’t sarcasm I genuinely am very impressed by it all and admire it).

Cayleigh and I are both…not as positive or spirited as most sorority people. The closest I think either of us got to a sorority in high school would be watching Legally Blonde (still one of my favorite movies and I watch it at least four times a year). So yeah, when Cayleigh texted me that they had joined a sorority, it was shocking. But then they explained to me what sorority they had joined.

It was then that I learned about Gamma Sigma Sigma, a co-ed service sorority. This Greek organization was not a social sorority, but was focused on service and helping out the community. In high school, I enjoyed my time doing community service and I knew I wanted to continue volunteering in college, so this was perfect. Also it looks incredible on your resume.


Me and my big at a formal event together with some other friends

So, as I was saying before, when I was a freshman, connecting to different organizations was difficult. But, because I had already known Cayleigh before COVID, they had helpfully introduced me to their friends who also happened to be in Gamma Sigma Sigma with them. Because I was able to meet all these amazing people, I felt connected to the organization and wanted to join them not just for the amazing friendships, but also the service opportunities as well.


Me and friends at a service event

Since joining, I have met so many amazing people and I am so grateful for what this sorority has done for me. By the end of my sophomore year I was voted into the position of “Membership Vice President,” which is the person in charge of recruitment. It was my job to encourage people to join our sorority and feel safe and welcomed within the process. Through this position, I met new people and gained several organization and communication skills thanks to all the super exciting paperwork that I had to fill out.

In my senior year, I’m currently finishing my last semester as Membership Vice President and passing the torch to the next person. Next semester, I plan to focus mostly on gaining my master’s degree as I’ll be entering grad school, so I intend on going inactive in my sorority. Meaning, I’ll still be a member but don’t have to attend our weekly meetings or collect service hours. It will be weird, but I feel as though Gamma Sigma Sigma has served its purpose for me.

I met some of my best friends, I got to know the community and help out with service projects, and I became more responsible. If you are stressed about making friends or having a “proper college experience”, whatever that means, I strongly recommend taking a closer look into Greek Life on campus. You may never know what you could find.


Me and my little caught driving to get food

Summary:

  • Because I was a freshman during COVID, all clubs were online and it was hard to meet people
  • My friend Cayleigh introduced me to a few people from the sorority Gamma Sigma Sigma
  • I felt close with everyone in the sorority and decided to join
  • I gained different experiences with the service projects I worked on and becoming Membership Vicepresident
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By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 4: Major Decision (Literally)

Monday, October 9th, 2023

The thought of having to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life at the young age of 18 nauseated me daily. It pissed me off so much that at such a young age we are expected to know exactly what our future is supposed to look like, that in my college essay I essentially ranted about how it is all such bullshit.

Pace allowed students to go into their freshman year with an undecided major, so that’s what I did. I knew I loved writing, but to do that for the rest of my life seemed like such a daunting thing and I still had no idea what I would do with writing and how I’d make money. I also enjoyed psychology and liked the idea of pursuing that, but then also liked the idea of pursuing film. Overall, I’m an indecisive Gemini and figured going in undecided and trying out a bunch of different classes would be the best option.

My first semester schedule consisted of a lot of gen-ed classes like most freshman year classes. Almost all of my classes in the first semester were online because of COVID, so it was difficult bonding with professors, meeting my classmates, and genuinely finding a connection with  any of the classes. But, like I’ve mentioned in the past few chapters, my extroverted roommate helped me find some friends.

Through her, I found one of my best friends Jill. Jill and I are very similar in some ways, but also very different in a way that I think helps us balance each other out. For example, when I met Jill, she had this whole plan of being an English major and going into Pace’s Masters program in publishing. At the time, I had no idea what any of this meant, but I knew I was impressed with her ambition and dedication.

Jill helped me find my voice and feel more confident about my writing. I still wasn’t positive with what I wanted to do with my future, but I felt like I was getting closer to something.


Jill, Nellie, and I on Halloween our Freshman year

Together, Jill and I would host “writing nights” and spend hours writing together. Whether it was a creative piece we were working on or homework, we always motivated each other to work hard. Jill had reignited my love for writing that I forgot I had, and we would end up writing until like three in the morning most nights.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to find friends with similar hobbies as you. When working together, it makes your work stronger. Even though Jill and I would be working on separate projects, we were still able to help each other and read over each other’s work. By doing these writing nights together, Jill would help me figure out what I wanted with my future. I knew that if my future looked anything like it looks now, I would be happy.

Knowing that I was happy with what I was doing, Jill encouraged me to discuss English majors with different professors. I ended up finding Pace’s new Writing and Rhetoric program and it felt like a dream come true. All of the professors were super helpful and understanding and I finally felt like I could do something I enjoyed in my classes.

Like I said before, I encourage getting to know people with the same hobbies as you and the same major as you. Even though Jill and I weren’t really in the same major at the time, we had similar interests and I was able to learn more about Pace’s programs. She helped me find the courage to declare a major and stood with me the entire time.

Now we’re in our senior year together and we even work together! My entire experience at Pace would not be the way it is today without my friend Jill.


Jill and I our sophomore year freaking out after the new Spiderman movie

Summary:

  • I didn’t know what to do when I got to school
  • I was stressed about declaring a major
  • I found a friend with similar interests as me
  • My friend helped me discover my major and my passion for writing
Enjoy your own study/writing night with friends and 15% off pizza with this coupon and Student I.D.!

By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 3: Do You Also Think Women are Hot?: Coming to Terms with my Sexuality

Monday, October 2nd, 2023

Before I had moved into college, when I first started talking to my future roommate Kathy, I had convinced myself I was straight. Yes, I knew I had thoughts in my head about women that most straight people wouldn’t have, but I just repressed them because I didn’t know many queer people in my life and didn’t know who to talk to for help.

When we were in our first lockdown from COVID, I had literally nothing to do other than think, watch movies, think again, maybe do a TikTok challenge, and then think some more. Basically, I had a lot of time to reflect on my years in high school and how I almost never had a real crush on any guys and why I really enjoyed watching the “Lay All Your Love On Me” scene from Mamma Mia!. But, like I said before, I just kept ignoring those thoughts and keeping them to myself. Until Kathy informed me that she was actually gay.

I didn’t immediately come out to her when she told me. I’m pretty sure I said something like “Cool! I’m straight though,” and then we started talking about the show Glee (which I should’ve just accepted the fact that I was gay at that point…what straight person goes through a Glee phase when they’re 14). Once Kathy came out to me, I decided I would accept the fact that I like women to myself, but I wasn’t ready to come out just yet.

I won’t lie, when I chose Pace University, I knew it had a positive LGBTQ+ community and that definitely helped a bit when making my decision. So knowing this, I experimented with the idea of being out on campus because I would be around new people and it wouldn’t really affect my home life. However, that changed one fateful night before me and all my high school friends were about to separate and start our new lives in our own schools. The five of us sat in my basement and somehow, one person came out and then suddenly everyone started coming out. Which may sound strange if you’re a straight person reading this, but this specific moment, I discovered later on, happens to a lot of queer kids and is what I refer to as a “canon queer event,” aka a rite of passage.

So, with this new sudden bravery I found from my high school friends, I texted Kathy that night like “hey! I’m actually bisexual!”. And thus began my year of accepting to myself and others that I think women are hot and I’m proud of it!

During my freshman year, almost all of the friends I made ended up being queer. My current roommate now is queer and it’s also what helped us bond! Freshman year was my first year out and it was scary but ultimately exciting.I don’t regret it one bit.

But then summer came and I was home and alone with my thoughts again. I still had never been in any relationship before, but I was talking to people on dating apps. Nothing ever happened with those dating apps though. I only ever found myself talking to guys for a week and then ultimately ghosting them for literally no reason at all. All I knew is that something felt wrong. Not wrong with the guys, but wrong with me.


Me and my roommate Nellie in stupid hats our sophomore year

So, I texted my new roommate (who is also still my current roommate), Nellie, and asked if they had any idea why my brain was like this. Nellie and I had only been friends for a little less than a year at this point, but they managed to help me when I was feeling my lowest. They were the first person I told when I discovered the “Lesbian Masterdoc” (a document discussing compulsive heterosexuality from queer women) and the first person that I said “I think I might be a lesbian” to. And if I’m being fully honest, without this friendship with them, I maybe never would have had the courage to accept it. Which may seem strange because if I had already come out as bisexual, then why is coming out as a lesbian any different? To which I will respond with, read the lesbian masterdoc and discover compulsive heterosexuality and how the strict gender roles within our society mess with the female mind. If I wrote all about that this blog would be the length of the bible.


Me my sophomore year at a Pride at Pace prom event

Coming into my sophomore year, I had the strength to come out properly because of Nellie and we even attended Pace’s pride club for students together. Then, by junior year, the two of us became president and vice president of the club! The club helped me finally become comfortable with my sexuality and eventually gave me the courage to come out to my family the next summer.

By junior year, I was writing paper after paper about what it means to be a lesbian and I found one of my passions when it comes to writing. None of this would have been possible without the friends I made at school and I will forever be grateful for them. If you’re an incoming freshman, and you’re not ready to come out, there is no pressure for you to do so. But I strongly recommend finding people that are a part of your community to give you a helping hand when it’s needed.


Me petting a dog at NYC Pride in 2022 wearing a lesbian flag cape

Summary:

  • Before I met anyone from school, I was too scared to come out to anyone even myself
  • Once I started talking to people who are also queer, I started to gain my confidence with my own sexuality
  • I joined the pride club and moved in with my roommate who helped me find courage to come out
  • Finding people within your community can help you out in the future
Enjoy a Taco Tuesday at Cafe Habana and get a great deal! Show this flyer and student ID!

By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 1: Welcome to College

Tuesday, September 26th, 2023

Chapter 1

(The view from my freshman-year dorm) 

“Should I wear this top with jeans or overalls, Mom?” It seemed like the most important question in the world at the time. You would think I was meeting the President of the United States when, in actuality, I was attending my college orientation. I was a bundle of nerves. Questions like: how will I make friends? How do I start a conversation? What if my classes are difficult? They all circled endlessly around my mind. It was likely evident that I was a mess inside, but I kept a smile on my face so as not to burden my parents with my anxiety. 

The start of college was an abundance of many things, like stress and anxiety, but also excitement and new experiences. Moving from Boston to NYC was not a drastic change but nonetheless a change. My school was now 4 hours away instead of 30 minutes. My bed was a cramped twin XL instead of the comforting full I had at home. Long were the days of solitude in my room, as my room was now occupied by two other people, not just people, total strangers. I was prepared for this. I was informed what college was like, and while each person’s experience is completely different, some experiences do align. 

As the days went on, my feelings toward college were nonetheless changing, and rapidly at that. Some days, I woke up and found myself excited for the day, whether due to a new conversation I had or a rewarding grade; other days, it felt like torture. I felt so lost and alone, and while I expected it to take time to make friends, at this point, it felt futile to even try to make conversation. I would walk the hallways lined with classmates who all seemed to always have a smile cracked on their faces or a laugh exploding from their mouths. Where was mine?

At the start, I relied on my roommates to be my friends… this did not pan out well. They seemed to take a liking to each other rather than including me. On top of this, I found myself in classes that were not engaging, whether it was my Intro Italian or my advanced-level Anthropology. I never found myself totally understanding or immersed in the topics; nerves made me apprehensive to attend class (nonetheless, I would still go). 

The weeks passed by, and I found myself in this limbo, neither good nor bad, just manageable. More and more, I talked with one of my roommates, Stacy. She was cool and fun and had never tried Indian food before. One night, with my Paneer Tikka Masala, I offered her a plate, a peace offering of sorts, and from there, we started to hang out more. We would go out to get lunch sometimes or walk Lincoln Square. Stacy turned from (in complete honesty) someone I disliked into a friend, and not only that, one of my best friends. A friend I would spend every waking moment with. We started sharing laughs, creating little inside jokes; all the little things were coming together. 

Soon enough, the girl I sat next to in Anthropology, whose makeup never failed to captivate me, and I started talking more. Her name, as I came to find out, was Jenna. A girl I had seen through the halls of my dorm but never had the courage to make conversation with. I can say now that she, too, stands as one of my closest friends. 

College became less daunting, classes lightened, and I had people I felt seen around. These companionships and experiences are ones that I know will last through the ages. 

 Key points:

  • I greatly struggled to find my place in college at first; friends were difficult to find, and I felt super overwhelmed
  • As time passed and tears were shed, I discovered a growing appreciation for my classes and connected with individuals with whom conversations flowed naturally, rather than trying to force connections.
  • Cultivating hope and patience enabled me to forge enduring friendships and make significant strides in my academic journey.

If you are ever craving a delicious meal and refreshing coffee, stop by Cafe Landwer and use this $10 off coupon to treat yourself. 

By Juliana Capasso

Juliana Capasso is a junior at Boston University studying Film and Television & Public Relations. Outside of her academic responsibilities, she spends her time exploring the city with friends, reading, listening to music, and journaling. 

 For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful ebooks, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2023.

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Chapter 2: Hi, I’m Mia! Please Be My Friend!

Monday, September 25th, 2023

Once I had officially decided to go to Pace University, the next step was to find friends and someone I feel comfortable to live with. Pace has a designated building where freshmen live, so I couldn’t live with my friend since they were two years older. Even if I could, though, I didn’t want to. I knew that if I chose to live with someone I already knew, I would be too scared to branch out on my own and I wanted the independence of finding my own friend.

Part of my Facebook post from the Pace Facebook group for incoming freshman

So for the first time in several months (maybe even years), I opened up Facebook and edited my profile before searching for Pace University Facebook groups. The groups are student-made as a way to find fellow incoming classmates and potential roommates. I found two groups, joined both, and began adding almost everyone I thought wasn’t intimidating on Snapchat. Honestly, it felt like a dating app. Sometimes I would hit it off with people, and other times we would say hi and then instantly stop talking.

By June I was getting nervous, because the deadline for finding a roommate was coming up and I still hadn’t really clicked with anyone. It was also important I felt comfortable in my own room and because it was 2020, I wanted to make sure I was living with someone who respected COVID guidelines.

Me and Kathy after we both moved in

A few days into June I received a DM (direct message) from someone on Instagram. At first I was confused as to who this person was, but then I realized they found me from the Pace Facebook group, so I responded to her message. Instantly we clicked. We had all the same interests, were both nervous but willing to meet new people on campus, and were careful with COVID. Kathy (her name) and I ended up chatting everyday and eventually found the rest of our suitemates (the freshmen building had suites instead of just a classic two person or three person dorm).

With my suitemates and I texting each other every day, the idea of going to college seemed less intimidating now that I had more than just one friend. I was beginning to get excited as we all texted each other about what one person was packing, what movies we would watch on movie nights, and what clubs we were all interested in.

Me and a couple of my suitemates

If you’re an incoming freshman, I strongly recommend searching for any type of online group to meet new people. Having some form of established relationships will definitely help ease the anxiety of moving away from home. Even if you eventually find new friends or fall out with the old ones, you will always still have that bond with your freshman roommates. Nothing can take away that old nostalgic feeling of moving in for the first time and taking your first steps into the real world with these people. 

My suitemates and I would attend different events on campus, a lot of them virtual, some of them with social distancing, and together we all found friends. To this day, I’m still friends with my freshman year roommate and suitemate, and I’m forever grateful for them and the steps of courage we took together. We don’t live with each other anymore, but we still support each other and hang out together when we can.

However, I think my suitemates and I did have one unfair advantage that helped us grow close early on. Normal suitemates or roommates have a special bond because they are entering the real world together, but my suitemates and I actually didn’t get to take any steps outside because for two weeks we were all locked in our suite thanks to an increase in COVID cases. That’s right…in October, the entire freshman building got put into lockdown, forcing everyone to stay in their rooms for a whole two weeks.

To this day we still make jokes about how we were all trauma bonded because of this. We had to stay in our rooms, have crappy food delivered to our dorms, and watch movies almost every night to keep us from going insane. COVID may have made our freshman year difficult, but it also gave us a suitemate bond like no other.

I’d also like to mention the fact that, despite my suitemates and I helping each other out with meeting new people, my specific roommate Kathy was like a professional “friend maker.” Almost everyday she was introducing me to someone new. Thanks to Kathy, I met some of my best friends, one being my current roommate in my senior year!

My current roommate (middle), one of my best friends (on the right), and I on Halloween 2020. We all connected thanks to Kathy!

Another tip if you’re an introverted freshman like I was, make sure to meet someone who is very extroverted like Kathy is. This way, you’ll always be meeting someone new and each day will be exciting, and really that’s what every day of your freshman year should feel like. Even if you’re dealing with a global pandemic.

Summary:

  • Why Facebook groups are helpful before going to college
  • Go to events and clubs on campus! It’s the best way to meet friends!
  • Freshman year is all about excitement and meeting new people, don’t be afraid to try new things
Get 10% off any purchase at Baya Bar and enjoy a smoothie or acai bowl! Remember to bring your student ID!

By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Please Handle With Care

Saturday, August 27th, 2022

Whenever we are shipping or traveling with something fragile, we always label it as such and make sure that the item is handled with the utmost care. Why do we so seldom treat ourselves with the same caution? Items are replaceable, but we—as I hope you know—are not.

I’ve covered a lot of different topics throughout my writing about the COVID-19 pandemic—from being sent home from college, to current events, to relationships, and everything else in between. Truthfully, I could probably write about all the other ways that this unprecedented era of human history intersected with our normal lives, but almost anything you can think of would lead you right back here to a discussion of mental health and self-care—perhaps the greatest lesson that COVID may have had to offer.

Image credit: Pine County, MN, Department of Health and Human Services

Mental health wasn’t really something that I thought deeply about until I got to college. When I look back on high school and think about a lot of my habits—burning the midnight oil to finish my homework, sacrificing sleep, and generally spreading myself too thin—I can’t help but cringe. We’re taught that this is what it means to “work hard,” but it comes at a pretty high cost, especially when you’re young. No one should have to feel like that is the way you need to operate, no matter what stage of life you’re at. You are not the work you do or the grades that you get; your worth is far beyond that, which is something I try to remind myself when I start to believe otherwise. 

I still find myself exhibiting many of these behaviors in college, and it wasn’t until this point in my life where I started to feel physiological responses to my stress or anxiety—heart beating too fast, thoughts racing out of control, worrying about everything. And most of the time, I was concerned more so with how it would affect me academically, not physically or mentally. Yikes.

The pandemic really changed my perspective on mental health, not only showing how important it is to prioritize all aspects of your health, but also pointing out how many of the things we accepted as normal before COVID were deeply flawed. For instance, growing up, it was always expected that you would go to school or to work even if you were not feeling well. If you had a cold, you had to stick it out. If you didn’t sleep well, were feeling overwhelmed, or were burnt out, you had to find a way to get through the day. But now that we have lived through the onset of a deadly, infectious disease, we realize just how ridiculous this kind of behavior is. At school, more and more professors in their syllabi are now encouraging us not to come to class if we feel any inkling of an illness to make sure that we don’t spread it around to others. There is no good reason to force ourselves into doing things when we are not at our best, a mindset we should have adopted long ago.

Now, a lot of my professors have also added mental health provisions to their syllabi, encouraging us to take a day off class if we are struggling mentally and can’t engage with the class. Our student government leaders are pushing to make missing class for mental health reasons count as excused absences. In 2021, a student organization that carries out the mission of the Bandana Project, a national mental health awareness and suicide prevention campaign, was formed on our campus, seeking to provide students with resources for and breaking the stigma around mental health—all it takes is a green bandana to show your support and willingness to engage in the campaign. All of these changes ensure that we never have to feel that our academic career takes precedence over our wellbeing. At the end of the day, we’re at college to learn, not to burn ourselves out.  

Image credit: The Bandana Project
Be sure to check out this amazing organization!

Over the last couple of years, a lot of different stressors in our lives have converged at once: the spread of COVID-19, long periods of isolation, our nation in turmoil, and the general uncertainty of everything, while still having to go to college either online or in person when it became safe again. We are still dealing with the long-term consequences of all of these things, and the pandemic still isn’t really over. But we are all human and we can only expect so much out of ourselves, so if COVID did one thing for us, it was to force us to slow down and reconfigure our thinking to gear ourselves toward what is really important: taking care of ourselves.

So, remember to listen to what your body or your mind is saying—you are the best person to judge your limits and realize what you need at any given moment. Do the things that you enjoy doing, make you happy, and help you to heal—read a book, do a face mask, chill out (just to name a few of my go-to strategies). Totally cliché, but life really is all about balance. It takes effort to unlearn all of the things ingrained into our brains, something that I have still been struggling with, but at the end of the day, just please handle yourself with care.

As I said with my previous chapter regarding relationships, it should not have taken a global pandemic just to learn that we have to take care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally. But I suppose it is better late than never.

A great way to practice self-care is to treat yourself in the health and beauty sphere, so be sure to use this coupon at Trinity’s Touch for all your brow, lash, and skincare needs!

By: Katie Reed

Katie Reed is a senior at Villanova University studying English and Communication. She is in utter disbelief that she just admitted to being a senior. She loves to read, but has made barely a dent in the increasingly large pile of books on her bookshelf that she told herself she would read this summer. She hopes to enter a career in the editing and publishing industry.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services. At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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