To be honest, I’m tired of always being in a transition phase. I’ve been moving from place-to-place, never fully settling down, since starting college. I think it’s something I’ll miss in the future when I feel stagnant, but these last few years I’ve been between school and home and back to school again. It’s gotten pretty exhausting. It’s a different room every year, with different roommates, working a different job depending on where I am. It often feels like as soon as I get a sense of routine, something has to throw it out-of-wack. This year is no different— yet again, I find myself in a different place, trying to figure it all out.
I just recently moved into an apartment, and I’ve been commuting to school for the first time. I’d never firsthand dealt with the technicalities behind apartment renting, so that was a huge learning curve itself, as was figuring out the wifi (and whatever the heck a modem is), gas, electricity, etc.
It’s been a huge adjustment commuting to school, since I have to account for different train times and slow areas on the tracks. Even weeks into the semester, I wind up cutting it a bit closer than I intend to when on my way to class. I’m used to being so close to campus I’m practically able to get to class from my bed in minutes. It’s taking time management skills, which I’m still building up.
I feel like I’m really learning what it means to be “on my own.” Everything is changing, and I’m about to face the most daunting transition phase of my whole life next Spring—graduating college.
But for right now, I’m trying to enjoy it. If I think too much about what happens afterward, I won’t be able to stand it. “Where will I live?” “Who will I live with?” “Where will I be working?” They’re all questions on the forefront of my mind, and other peoples’ too—just this last weekend I went home for my birthday and got asked all sorts of questions about my plans post-graduation. But I’ve come to realize I can take things a bit more slowly, going step-by-step. I can enjoy my last year of college and spend time with the people I love, while keeping my future in the back of my mind.
There’s this book my coworker recommended to me called ‘The Art of Now” by Eckhard Tolle. In the book he talks a lot about living in the moment and “letting the universe work for you.” I’ve never given “the universe” much thought, but there’s a lot of really uplifting sentiments that I got from reading the book—and I’m not usually a huge nonfiction fan. It inspired me to make an active effort to stay in the moment, and to stay centered in the present even while applying for internships and jobs in the future. Making sure I see the people I care about, I let my creativity out, and I spend my time mentally relaxing and doing things I enjoy— all while maintaining my grades and doing all my work on-time. It’s definitely no easy feat, but most worthwhile things aren’t easy. I’m trying, at the very least.
Living off-campus definitely makes things feel a bit more distant. Everything and everyone used to feel so close. I’ve noticed it’s taking more effort to stay in touch with friends; it feels like everything’s a bit out of my reach. Still, part of “staying in the moment” to me is staying in contact with people who help me enjoy the moment, like my friends, my girlfriend—the relationships that matter to me.
Things seem to be going by so fast and I’m trying not to forget to enjoy it—even if there’s a lot of new, stressful aspects of my life, and even if I’m not completely sure where I’ll be this time next year. All I can do is be the best “me” now, so I can be the best “me” a year from now, for myself and everyone around me.
By: Meg Carey
Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.
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