Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

I Was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Wednesday, August 14th, 2013

By now, most of you have probably heard of the fairly common trope in today’s media of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. If not, then allow me to give you a brief breakdown: a girl, usually quirky/cool/unique in some way but also still pretty and feminine, is the sole savior and reason to live for the male protagonist. She’s not a character with any kind of depth or autonomy; she exists only to show the man that life isn’ta hopeless hellscape; it’s beautiful and full of meaning!

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Hopefully you already realize how damaging it is just from that description, but if not, let me tell you a little anecdote that will hopefully convince you beyond all reasonable doubt.

At one point in my life, I was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. This was back in high school, before I was even aware of what a MPDG was, and before I found it easy to say goodbye to people who were dragging me down and doing nothing for my development as a person. During this time, I had a series of dude friends who I became really close to in short amounts of time.

Everything always started out really great. We were all in that weird stage of life where you’re developing a solid sense of self-worth, but you still need other people to bolster it. I tried to give them as much encouragement as possible, because I just enjoyed making my friends happy. I was fun and quirky, they didn’t have a lot of female friends, and little by little, they would get attached.

Things always went downhill eventually. I had other friends, a boyfriend, a family, not to mention school and all of the baggage that comes with it. They didn’t care for that. They wanted one hundred percent of my attention devoted to them, 24/7. They said they “needed” me to be around them to be happy. They didn’t treat me like an individual with a life of my own; they treated me like a major subplot in their own stories, someone who was supposed to be around to help make sense of the world for them. It was entirely selfish. Even when I tried to cut things off, they wouldn’t let me. Their methods of keeping me around ranged from suicide threats to actual self harm. The only way I finally got away from them entirely was going to a different state for college.

jessijaejoplin.buzznet.com

So yeah, maybe being a MPDG sounds cute and all when it’s in a movie, and maybe it doesn’t seem that harmful in the media, but once real boys start treating real girls like objects used to manufacture happiness, things can get ugly and hurtful.

To all my ladies out there: you don’t have to be anyone’s MPDG. You are probably cool and interesting and have plenty of things to offer the world, so why bother being anything but a main character in your own story? And to all the fellas, I know that girl may seem like the only thing that makes sense in this strange and scary world, but she doesn’t exist solely for your benefit. So don’t treat her like she does! Give her space, let her have a life, and I promise you will both end up much, much happier.

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Alex Ritter, NYU.

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Don’t Waste Your Time on People Who Don’t Deserve It

Friday, August 9th, 2013

In high school, I was the type of person who took on friendships as projects. I found people who were broken in some way, and I tried to piece them back together again. It never ended well. They always developed these enormous expectations, like I was supposed to focus all of my attention on them and only them, forsaking every other relationship I had just to make them feel better about themselves.

I wasted a lot of time on those people, thinking if I just gave them a little bit more of what they wanted, they would feel better and stop being so clingy. It didn’t work; it usually just made them more angry when I wasn’t available for them, to the point where they would get hostile and try to tear me down.

newleafcounselingblog.blogspot.com

Looking back now, I know how unhealthy those friendships were for me, and how much damage they did in the long run. Those people were selfish, thinking they were entitled to 100% of me just because I gave them the kind of attention no one else did. But, of course, hindsight is 20/20, and I didn’t think that way at the time. Even when I did realize things were getting out of hand and tried to cut it off, we were stuck in the same high school and the same town together. They found ways to continue trying to reel me in after I had explicitly told them to back off and leave me alone.

This isn’t something that’s particularly unique to my life. We all do it in some form or another. We all waste our time on people who, in the back part of our minds we try so hard to ignore, we know don’t deserve it. People who make us feel bad about who we are and the things we want to do in life. Everyone encounters it in some form or another, mostly when you’re young and impressionable and don’t know any better yet.

College presents a unique opportunity for these situations: you can cut someone out of your life, and never really have to worry about again. I’m sure that sounds cruel and cold, but i’m not suggesting you go on a Facebook cleaning rampage of anyone who ever looked at you kind of funny. It’s just that, in my opinion, your life should be filled with people who make you feel better about yourself, and who support you fully in whatever endeavors you choose to undertake. Surrounding yourself with negativity and unpleasantness is never going to make you a happier, better person, and isn’t that sort of the bottom line in life?

www.venusbuzz.com

I don’t like cutting people out of my life. I have given quite a few second and third chances to people, but even I have my limits. The truth of the matter is, there are some people who just don’t deserve your time and attention. There’s no point in wasting your time on people who, for lack of a better word, suck. The way I look at it is, if a relationship isn’t an improvement on my life without it, it’s not one I want to put time and effort into.

No one is entitled to you. You are a special snowflake, and the people you have in your life should think so, too.

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Alex Ritter, NYU.

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Should I go Uptown, Downtown, Queens, Brooklyn, or Jersey?

Thursday, August 8th, 2013

 

  LITERALLY, the biggest issue in NYC we face  today is where to visit in our free time. We are jetties on the prowl, be seen to be seen, but be posh and chic, so that when our Facebook friends peruse our pictures they’ll be abysmally jealous. Forget that assignment due in the morning, your over withdrawn bank account, and the protests  about equality. It’s time to experience New York City.

   New York magazines and articles on Tripadvisor tell you to visit the Moma, the Natural Museum of Modern Art, and Central Park for an authentic, unforgettable New Yorker experience. Only issue is that New Yorkers tentatively avoid those locations because they’re tourist hives. We’re frustrated when tourists don’t automatically hypersonic to the turnstile because we know if we don’t hop on that train there is no other one arriving for at least another year.  Our fast paced, independent attitude makes us appear mean but the other alternative is for us to punch every tourist in the face, and no one wants that except perhaps Madonna who isn’t even a New Yorker.

  Most college newbies to the city stay within a 5 mile radius of their campuses. Why wouldn’t they? It’s relatively safe, there are average restaurants, and their own private library. After a while, however, it’s repetitive: you eat, drink, pray that yellow cab won’t run you over, and you’ll find love just as Sarah Jessica Parker’s character did in Sex and The City. Let’s face it that only happens in movies, commercials, and over serialized novels.

  Where then to visit with your new friends during your free time? Try planning trips to authentic places tourist rarely visit like Washington Heights, Inwood, Harlem, and Battery Park. You’ll hear diverse languages at every corner, try new foods, and practice your Spanish listening skills. Other locations to visit are Forest Hills and Flushing Queens where you’ll find bargains on every corner–they may not be Forever 21 or H&M brands, but you can certainly find  sleek styles that no one else in your school wears.

 Brooklyn is a popular destination for hipsters, those who claim they’re not hipsters, those who say they’re not hipsters and yet extrude hipster style and persona, and then regular real 1% folk. Visit the deeper Brooklyn to really experience the authentic culture and wide graffiti art everywhere. I have chosen to skip New Jersey, reader should know, since I have very deep biased perspectives as I am a native New Yorker and think Jersey is just Jersey.

  If you’re willing to travel, but don’t want an extensive trip, then head on over to the Upper West Side to Life In Motion for a $5 yoga class only available with the Campus Clipper coupon. Remember that you’re in a cultural hubbub; there’s never a dull moment unless you make it.

 

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Sergio Hernandez, Skidmore College. Send Sergio a Tweet Tweet only on Twitter

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Settling: The Art of Friending, Side Friends, Lunch & Dinner Friends

Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

You’ve unpacked, bought your books, and attended a few courses, and missed one on account of  the screeching alarms being set off at 3 a.m. No worries, you’re just becoming a real New Yorker. You’re a competent adjuster but forming new friendships is another story. It would be much easier if this were kindergarten where anyone sharing their PB&J is your friend.

   Don’t panic. Here are useful tips to transverse that murky friend zone. How do you know a person is a friend? There should be a “talk” or verbal contract specifying you’re both friends as it would ease the friendship, unfortunately, it does not exist yet. I digress, people are your friends if they are willing to spend time outside class with you for more than 1 hour (this does not encompass study partners) and attends parties with you and other people, and has decency to say goodbye if they leave before you. People are in your friend circle, additionally, if they eat either lunch or dinner with you more than once a week. You shouldn’t force it but prop up naturally, spontaneous.  These scenarios also apply to you because people expect you to reciprocate the same efforts.

             

  We have finished the rules to being a friend. Now to find them. Arguably, New York City is treacherous for newcomers because of the fast paced, goal driven personas you often meet on the streets. Unless you’ve grown up in this jungle you can’t be expected to know every single nook and cranny. If you’re new on campus worried you won’t meet other newbies then join a campus club; you’ll meet tons of like minded people and enjoy your activity. Keep in mind you should try other clubs that spark your curiosity, and if you dislike them there’s nothing chaining you to them except guilt. Find clubs you think mesh well with your personal values and goals. If you’re searching for active, outdoor people then enrolling in an art club is unwise; the positive is you’ll learn tons about abstract color synchronization techniques. If you’re like me, then enroll to every single club you find interesting, attend their first meetings, and then decide whether to commit or scratch it off your plate.

     My school holds a club festival every beginning of the semester to enlist new members–then again my college is in upstate New York so choices are scarce during winter time, either you remain inside your dorm eating instant noodles or visit off-campus sites to gorge on the local food…and then regret it.

      One club stood out the most, the Men and Women’s Rowing club. My first thought was that this would really get me down to my ideal weight and body shape, and seeing as my friend was eager to join, we signed up. Our first meetings were just basic paperwork, insurance information, and minor details. However, practices were gruesome. For starters, I always thought they would be held during late afternoons; turns out we had to meet at 5:30 a.m–this our coach would later angrily explain meant we had to be on the dock at 5:30am. Therefore, for 3 times a week I woke up at 4:45 a.m to be driven down to the boathouse and arrive at 5:15 a.m. This was utter madness. yes! Why do it? Tremendous guilt would burden me for life if I left my friend suffering alone,  but the unforeseen occurred: I liked the sport and people.

     There are other outlets, of course, you can use these days to forge new friendships while in NYC. If sports are not your forte, then stick to your interest, slowly branching yourself into other groups. You don’t have to  join the local soccer, football, or rugby team. You can start small with Yoga classes at Moksha Yoga that offers a free class to first timers who bring the Campus Clipper coupon, if that’s your preference. There’s never a reason to not try new things–unless you’re highly allergic or you’re bedridden–so start small and end up winning big.

 

 

 

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Sergio Hernandez, Skidmore College. Send Sergio a Tweet Tweet only on Twitter

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New Year, New Me

Friday, December 28th, 2012

A new year is upon us and with that brings the fresh start that so many of us desperately yearn for. We forget about what happened the year before and focus on the future and what we can do to ensure ours is the best that it can possibly be. As we start to think of exactly HOW this is going to be done, we usually end with a huge list of things and run for the hills due solely to its overwhelming nature.

 

We all strive for self-improvement (or at least I would like to think so) and we know that it’s way more than just jotting down whatever you can find wrong with you on a piece of paper, it takes a lot of commitment. Knowing yourself and your limitations is also very important.

 

 

I’ve always took a “one goal a year” approach when it comes to things like this. I think it’s important to know where you want to improve as a person and just focus on that. I know life will happen regardless but it’s more a matter of not stretching yourself too thin.

One thing I would love to focus on in 2013 is just letting people know that I care for them more and doing my best to be more emotionally available. I know, I know…that’s two things but I feel like they’re related in a sense. I’ve also learned that this is something I needed to work on based on the supreme workaholism I developed earlier in the year and in turned shunned out my friends and everyone who I care about.

Don’t worry, my family and friends understand that I’m busy, that’s not really the point. This is something that I’m doing for the betterment of ME that will in turn strengthen already existing friendships and relationship and helps create strong new ones.

So, that’s my goal, what’s yours? Whatever it may be let’s approach them with the most resolute of attitudes.

Happy 2013 from all of us here at Campus Clipper. 🙂

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Carlos L., Monroe College. Read my blog!!  Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

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Election Day: Purpose or Propaganda?

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

It’s no secret that today is Election Day; it’s all that people can really talk about. I even got yelled at this morning for telling someone “I’ll vote after I get out of work.” One thing’s for sure: politics needed much more attention and it has definitely gotten just that…although the intentions of some citizens can come into question.

Let’s go back to the guy yelling at me. He went on to say, “If Romney gets elected he’s gonna cut welfare — I need my welfare.” Really…really sir!? Do you even care about the issues or is your brain only big enough to focus on one? My point is (and this might sound a bit exaggerated) that about 60 percent of Americans don’t even know the issues and are voting based on race or religion or some other non-factor that really shouldn’t matter when you’re voting. I couldn’t help but feel like 2008 was a “black vs. white” election and this year seems like a lot of the same thing.

Now, I’m not saying that we are all uneducated voters, but with proof like this you have to wonder what people are really voting for.

Yea…I know, right?

Now there are three options this Election Day (there are really more than three but for argument purposes I’ll keep it limited). There’s Obama, Romney, or not voting at all. Obama and Romney supporters are strong, but no one is stronger than those refusing to submit a ballot. Now, you may be thinking “How is that so? It just seems like arrogance and lack of confidence in one’s opinion.”  To counter that, I ask you, Is it really? If you ask me, it takes an EXTREME amount of confidence.

The Electoral College’s votes have the most value and they’re counted after our votes for a reason.  I think the fact that there was no clear cut solution (or at least something that sounded remotely like one) during three elections says a lot. I read a tweet from a Twitter follower that stated: “Red=Offense Blue=Defense OF THE SAME TEAM! #2PartyDictatorship.” As a matter of fact, here’s a meme that needs no introduction.

There’s clearly something bigger going on in this country.

Regardless of what you may take from this article, I DO believe voting is important. At least you’ll feel like you’re changing the shape of your country, and I intend to do my part. I hope that you all do the same but remember, even if you don’t vote, you’ll still have to abide by whatever the government has in store for us. If that’s the case, you might as well pick the lesser of two evils, whoever you feel that might be.

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Carlos L., Monroe College. Read my blog!!  Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

Click here to download the Campus Clipper iTunes App!

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Interested in more deals for studentsSign up for our bi-weekly newsletter to get the latest in student discounts and promotions  and follow our Tumblr and Pinterest. For savings on-the-go, download our printable coupon e-book.

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Dwindling Communication in the 21st Century

Friday, October 5th, 2012

With all kinds of new technology and social media platforms popping up every day, it seems easier than ever to stay in contact and communicate with the whole world.  It doesn’t even require a lot of effort, just a portable laptop — which come in extra small packages these days – or a smart phone.  So why is it that the real value of our words is going down the drain?

Even he didn't say much and he could be heard almost ANYWHERE

Part of this is our own fault for relying too much on technology.  There’s less effort put into meeting up with a friend or family member for a quick lunch.  Making communication easier has made us less aware of the importance of following through and actually speaking.  Personal relationships have decreased in favor of the blogosphere or Facebook.

With the upcoming Presidential election, it’s important to take more pride and responsibility in our words, our communication, and listening and hearing content.  That annoying little habit of saying “like” after every other word?  That was OK when you were 13.  Part of being a responsible adult pertains not just to our professional lives, but also to our communication.  As students, you’re going to be primed as the leaders of the future; it is important to recognize this gift and own it.

Your Presidential vote is also your future, take some time out to inform yourself on what the candidates stand for. Yes, it is true that many of their speeches and debates will be ridden with white noise you should avoid, but the important thing to do is to INFORM yourself.  Educating yourself on issues is a practice you’ll continue even after the election, making you highly employable. Try news feeds like cnn.com or huffingtonpost.com. If you’re in a real rush, newser is a great place to catch up on headlines with a short and readable summary.

As to the nonsense words you use to fill silences, start thinking a little more before speaking.  This will cause you to have a fully formulated sentence before speaking, but if you should have a silence somewhere…it’s OK! No need to add “like,” “so,” “um,” etc.  Some thoughts to keep your message in line:

Are you really saying what you want to say?

Is that person going to understand your needs and goals?

If not, could you reword it and still make the message clear?

Remember: being too wordy may lose the listener.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in preparing and physically relocating to New York City, it’s that if you can write and communicate your ideas well, your career will soar.  While social media is all good and fun, it’s only effective when used properly.  So go out and use your voice, your thoughts, and yes, your phone (in fact, you could download the Campus Clipper App RIGHT NOW)!

 

Written by: Lauren A. Ramires

If you’re interested in finding out more about my opinions and ventures with social media, social media marketing, fashion, travel and humor, follow me on Twitter, Facebook or my blog.

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College Concerns and Worries

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

As young adults, we are prone to taking a “trial and error” approach to life. We know one of the many goals associated with college is the promise of a better life. We also know getting through college is a mission itself, filled with all types of twists and turns we never see coming. Here are a couple of concerns you may or may not have experienced, and some pretty good solutions to help keep your stress leveled.

 

Finances

 

Money will always be a major issue. Unless you hit the lottery or were born into royalty, you’re probably counting every penny you spend. Everything from getting to school to the afternoon snack craving can become a problem.

As college students we tend to want to blow our money on the first things we can think of. Saving is a minimal priority. HelpSaveMyDollars.com’s creator Scott Gamm developed a theory stating fifty percent of college students have 4 or more credit cards. An even more shocking statistic is that eighty percent of students fail to pay off their credit card bill.

The key is to keep an eye on your money and always track what you are spending. I’ve written an article entitled “College Savings Doesn’t Mean College Boredom” in which I talk about having fun in New York the cheapest way possible.

 

 

Social Life

Balancing school and anything else can prove to be quite complicated. Whether it’s a job or an internship, you will find you don’t have much time for anything else. Twenty three percent of full-time undergrads, who are 24 or younger, work 20 hours or more a week. With hours like that plus the 15 hours or more you plan to spend in classes and on after class activities (labs and group projects anyone?), you won’t have much time for anything else.

Although having any kind of social life can seem like an extra burden, it’s not impossible and is more than healthy for a college student. Someone paying you a visit after you come home from work is one way that comes to mind (because you know . . . you’ll be too tired to go out and all). Someone can come meet you at your job after your shift. Meeting people at school is also a good way to kill two birds with one stone. Trust me . . . you’ll be spending A LOT of time with these people, so you might as well get to know them. You might like them.

 

Professors

 

We’ve all heard it before, “I have to take Professor (place name here). He’s an easy A” or “I don’t want Professor (alchy). He’s always drunk.”

Okay . . . maybe the last one is just me, but you get the idea.

There are those out there who simply don’t care who ends up teaching them a specific course, but for many of us, there’s that one professor that just gets us. Early registration is the key to getting the professors you want, the classes you want, at the times you want to take them. Some schools even give you cash stipends for early registration, which is even more of an incentive.

Personally, I never understood math until I had this one professor. She never let me (or anyone for that matter) leave class until she was sure we understood the material. This may seem like torture but I didn’t fail a test that whole semester . . . . . So I guess it worked, at least in my case

 

Personal Problems

 

We all have lives outside of college and many times it’s hard for our personal issues to not get in the way. Students with children have to constantly worry about their kid as it will always be one of their top priorities. Students can be involved in relationships that just swallow up their time (and if this is you, you should really learn how to prioritize) among other things.

I’ve been in three different living situations ever since I started school and I’m working on a fourth and hopefully my last for a while. Going to school and not knowing if I’ll even have a home to come back to has definitely been one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my life. All the “stay focused” and “keep your eyes on the prize” speeches never made any sense until I reached this period in my life.

Even though life can overwhelm you at times, it is important to know why you enrolled in this first place. It’s easy to forget why we started on this journey when all the unnecessary crap is constantly thrown in our face. Whatever the issue is, it’s important to know you have the strength, the tools and the support to get through whatever you’re going through. Also, you ARE working towards a better future and that’s more than most people can say.

 

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Carlos L., Monroe College. Read my blog!!  Follow me on Twitterand Facebook :)

Click here to download the Campus Clipper iTunes App!

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Going Out in the City on a College Budget: Five Whys and Five Hows

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Growing up, going to “the city” (that is, New York City) meant dressing up in whatever dress I wore for Easter Sunday or Christmas Eve and going out to dinner at a Zagat-rated restaurant somewhere in Little Italy with my family.  In those days, Mom and Dad paid.  When I first moved to the city from Westchester four years ago, going out meant throwing on a shirt and skirt in hopes of looking somewhat decent on the line of an overhyped 18+ club that I or my roommates were “on the list” for, thanks to a Facebook group that boasted to keep us up-to-date on the hottest and cheapest NYC college-age nightlife.  I quickly denied the existence of such a life.

pitfalls of fake IDs

When I turned twenty-one, I retired my once-used, two-years-expired fake ID that flaunted the image of a girl who looks absolutely nothing like me except for the fact that we are both 5’4” and have brown hair and brown eyes. At 5PM on my twenty-first birthday, I entered a heavenly paradise: Trader Joe’s Wine Shop.  Knowing that I would, without a doubt, be carded there, I stood on line with two bottles of Three-Buck-Chuck and my awkward but somehow freeing sixteen-year-old smile staring at me from my driver’s license.

When it comes to going out, the city has much to offer besides Trader Joe’s Wine Shop.  Bars are everywhere, nightclubs are plentiful, and parties often literally happen in the streets and under them in the subways.  Having gone to Manhattan for college, I was faced with the challenge of the city in addition to traditional college distractions.  Still, I believe that the ups outnumber and outweigh the downs when it comes to the typical college student’s desire to celebrate the weekend, weekday, or lack of knowing what day it is.

  1. You can leave your apartment without a set destination.  Don’t know where to go?  Just go.  Look for “two for one” signs.  Follow crowds.  Gravitate towards noise.  Ask loud people you cross on the street where they just came from and hope they remember.
  2. You meet people (whether you want to or not).  Though you may unwillingly find out about a stranger’s hygiene, astrological sign, and pick-up techniques, you may also make some new friends or at least go home with an interesting story or characters for that screenplay you’ve been working on.
  3. You don’t have to designate a driver.  Subways, taxis, and sidewalks are a New Yorker’s best friends.  Because few people going to college in the city have a car with them, there is no need to draw straws at the beginning of the night (though you may want to designate a pack leader to lead the way home if you’re sleepily returning at three in the morning).

    Designate your shoes when you don't designate a driver. Walking in heels can be tough!

  4. You can always find a place to eat.  From cookies to dollar pizza to street meat to pretty much anything, food is always available and often cheap.
  5. Nowhere is off-limits.  Though you may have to wait a bit longer for subways to arrive the closer it gets to sunrise, every borough is at your fingertips.  This also allows for you to try a new place when “the usual” just isn’t enough. 

The bad news?  Money doesn’t grow on trees, and, if it did, you still wouldn’t have any because you likely don’t have any trees growing on your fire escape.  The city is always outside your door, always awake, and always hungry for your wallet.  Plus, the fact that you may or may not already be going broke paying for a college education doesn’t help any.

However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past four years, it’s that you should always be prepared.  If you plan out at least part of your night ahead of time, you don’t have to pay much for a night of fun.

  1. Eat dinner home.  Instead of going out to eat, make dinner with some friends in someone’s kitchen or have a potluck dinner.  This is often cheaper and healthier, and allows you to start the weekend celebration together and then head out when everyone is accounted for.

    Leave yourselves a large tip with all the money you save when you celebrate at home with friends.

  2. Buy your own alcohol. If you are 21 and drink, look online for which liquor stores or beer distributors have the best deals on your beverage(s) of choice, and hit them up before they close.  Make your own concoctions, which can be fun!  And, if you do go out afterwards, you’ll probably be less tempted to spend money on overpriced drinks.
  3. Arrive early.  Many locations (bars and clubs alike) that charge cover fees charge differently according to what time it is.  If your usual bar has a good happy hour, meet up with a few friends for cheap drinks.  If a club says that admission is free before ten o’clock, consider getting there early.  Don’t forget to account for the time it takes to wait on line!  Also, when possible, be female—you’ll probably pay less to get in to some places.
  4. Have your own dance/karaoke/movie/theme party.  Sometimes a night in can be even more rewarding than a night out.
  5. Take advantage of your college or university.  While you might associate school events with middle school dances when the sexes stood on opposite sides of the room and stared at their feet or giggled in circles, school-sponsored events can often be fun.  The people putting them together are probably either paid to do it (and probably at least somewhat good at it) or they are college students just like you with similar ideas of fun.  Check your school events calendar, as well as any deals that your school and local businesses offers like student-price movie tickets, coupons, brochures, and other student savings.  You’ll be surprised what you can find!

It's who you're with that counts most.

Of course, there is no perfect formula for saving money, but over time you should discover what works for you and learn your own methods along the way.  While you’re in college, remember that you’re in college.  Remember that you’re not the only one concerned about saving money while having fun, that there are whole schools of students worried about the same thing.  In this realization you can find your savior—your friends.  No matter where you’re going or what you’re doing, surround yourself by good people and you can’t go wrong.

 

Take advantage of a great happy hour at Cuba!

———————————————————-

Carina, New York University. Read my blog and check out my Twitter! FOLLOW ME!!

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onLove: When Friends Pay a Visit

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

One of the great things about living in a vibrant city like New York is that my friends from back home are always more than willing to come visit me. Especially now that summer is in full swing, plenty of out-of-town friends are staking their claim on available weekends and planning overnight stays at my apartment. These get-togethers are usually marked by touristy outings, drinks at what is deemed to be a “classy” wine bar or lounge, and people-watching in Union Square at 2AM.

While I do love my friends dearly, gone are the days of having a large, three-bedroom apartment with multiple roommates and plenty of space for people to crash at the night’s end. Now, in my humble one-bedroom abode, I have a futon shoved haphazardly into my kitchen area, which is usually an uncomfortable 90+ degrees thanks to my refusal to buy an air-conditioner (equal parts laziness and thriftiness.) The other sleeping arrangement I can offer my guest is for us to share my bed. But two sweaty, adult bodies on a full-sized mattress pretty much negates my sad little desk fan, which spins madly in the night as it struggles in vain to keep the room cool.

Of course I preface any potential visitation with a disclaimer, warning my guests that my apartment is nothing like the glamorous ones they may have seen on sitcoms and other television shows based in NYC. But no matter how much I try to prepare my friends for the harsh reality of non-luxury New York City apartments, it seems as though I never do a good enough job, because many arrive and their eyes instantly widen in surprise. Beads of sweat form on their brow, the inevitable result of walking up four flights of stairs. And their discomfort is apparent as they take a quick survey of my cluttered, cramped space.

After the initial shock wears off, there is always another concern hovering in the air: What are my friends going to do the entire time they’re here? For some, this is their first time in New York sans elementary school field-trip itinerary. Your friend will turn to you for advice on where to go, what to see, where to eat… and you’ll be expected to provide answers. So the awkward but necessary question comes shortly after my friend gets settled.

“Uh… what do you wanna do?” I ask, hoping my inquisition will not be met with silence, a shrug, or a hasty “I dunno, what do you wanna do?”

In order to avoid being caught in an awkward verbal ping-pong match, where half-hearted ideas are lobbed back and forth for several minutes, try to keep a few fail-safe plans tucked away in the back of your mind.  Even if you just spend an hour regrouping at an air-conditioned cafe, your friend will appreciate your taking the initiative. Also, this is a great time to take advantage of all the student discounts and fun activities the city has to offer. A trip to a museum or impromptu elevator ride to the top of the Empire State Building will help remind even the most jaded New Yorker that the city is teeming with diversity and life. And local knowledge coupled with the enthusiasm and excitement that a visitor brings can lead to a great bonding experience.

If offering up your couch isn’t a realistic option, friends can still visit—just work out another arrangement before they arrive.  There are plenty of affordable hotels, and some are even offering reduced rates during the summer. Blue Moon Hotel on Orchard Street (between Broome and Delancey) is offering a student discount of 10%.  As a compromise for their staying elsewhere, you can offer to treat your friends to a lunch or pay for their ticket to one of the exhibits you end up visiting.

-Alex Agahigian, NYU-

I have lots of other things to say

Photo Credit: wirednewyork.com

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