Posts Tagged ‘Communication’

Confessions of a People-Pleaser: On Advocating for your Needs and Boundaries

Monday, June 10th, 2024

There is no such a thing as someone with no needs and no boundaries. I used to believe I had none or at least no right to my own boundaries because I was placed in a role of mostly serving others. Specifically, many women are raised to believe this about themselves. And yet, many western cultures have this expectation that women still need to be these boss women with unbreakable spirits. I couldn’t reconcile these expectations before the time came for me to participate in a college lecture or start my first internship. 

I knew I had to dig deep within myself to find out why I had found it so challenging not to sacrifice myself for the needs of other people. To believe that I didn’t deserve to be listened to, helped, or have my identity affirmed as friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson loves to say. This was clearly impacting the quality of relationships I had with potential friends, my coworkers, family, and supervisors. And it was only blinding me from the potential I had of fulfilling my dreams and of living the kind of life I desired in the end. 

I mostly talk about boundary-setting with family in the second chapter of my ebook; but I would like to expand this conversation to include friends. Family is more or less our first introduction to how relationships are formed and how people view us. Some of us may have more chaotic families than others and follow scripts that strip us all of our autonomy, but they nevertheless serve as a blueprint for our friendships and other relationships important to us. 

As the eldest daughter in my family with two younger brothers, I was raised to constantly look after others, listen to their troubles, be available for when others had urgent matters to be taken care of, and always be open to visiting and being visited by other extended family members, even when the relationship was clearly one-sided. I grew accustomed to turning to journals and talking to myself to keep me away from the true feelings dying inside of me. And to still feel alive after a busy day of being a machine.

I’ll provide an example of a time I should have set boundaries with a “friend” in college. One woman approached me as I was waiting to meet with my advisor in the hallway. She seemed like the kind of person who was over-eager to talk to any new person she could find. I was surprised that she had ended up in my English Critical Theory class. From that point on, she always sat next to me, always asked me questions when the professor was speaking, called my phone several times in a row after class hours, and even plagiarized parts of an essay of mine. What looked like flattery in the beginning started to look more and more like obsession and jealousy (and she admitted to being jealous too). I should have told her that I clearly didn’t see her as a friend like she did. I should have let her know that she was exhausting me. I needed space, but because of the scripts I was fed as a eldest daughter, I willfully gave myself away to energy vampires like her.

Never been the most comfortable in front of a camera.

This was the script I carried with me into my young adulthood. I second-guessed my intellect during college lectures, which stopped me from participating. I felt guilty from wanting to lean on someone when I felt down because my supposed friends’ problems seemed more important, and I felt ashamed for ever using my free time because it was time I could have used to do more work at home or at the office. We all play roles in every aspect of our lives, but we have to decide what roles are depriving us of our humanity. How can we all get what we need without sacrificing ourselves and/or other people? That is my ultimate question. 

It requires a lonely journey to arrive at the answer simply because we live in a world that encourages us to treat each other like slot machines and less like humans. We all have a responsibility to show up for those we care about and hold them accountable when our boundaries have been crossed. Communicate openly and honestly, respect each other’s right to personal space, and learn the art of self-reliance because that will surely come in handy. It first starts with acknowledging we need things from others and learning to fulfill those needs in a healthy way.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Am I Overreacting?

Monday, July 11th, 2022

Being in a relationship with a person and expressing our feelings makes us more vulnerable and open. A partner that belittles your feelings and makes you feel that you are going crazy when you point out things that make you upset, is not a partner. If they act this way, then they are not treating you as an equal and they are not making room for your feelings. I think when this occurs within a relationship, it can make you feel that you are going slowly insane; stories keep changing, things you’ve done have been made and exaggerated, and now you can’t recall if you are remembering correctly. It starts you in on this self questioning, again: am I overreacting? Especially when your partner does not give you space for your feelings, you feel as though any feelings you are having are excessive, dramatic and not needed. 

This type of self-questioning that stems from your partner’s reaction to your feelings can be exhausting and suffocating. Your partner is making your experiences seem unreliable and you then start to believe that you are unreliable. 

The truth is you are not overreacting, and you have a right to feel everything you feel on any scale you want or need to feel it. As a participant in this line of self-questioning, I’ve spent many days thinking about this in every type of situation I have been in. I may continue to obsess over every interaction and conversation to make sure I remember everything correctly, as a means to justify my emotions. But, it is important to hear and listen to that voice that tells you “Hey, I’m very happy or upset, and I am allowed to feel that emotion to its full extent.”

Image Credit: https://clipart.world

Author Robert Porter goes in-depth and examines how constant emotional invalidation affects our relationships to self and individual in his article, “Effects of Emotional Invalidation” for ReGain.us. If your partner is engaging in this type of emotional invalidation, it can make you believe you are overreacting in situations and it can impact your feelings and your relationship with your own experiences and emotions. Porter describes how emotional invalidation can happen even without purposeful intent to make it happen. And this invalidation can look like having a dismissive nature when your partner is telling you their feelings or experience, or forcing them to feel positive emotions instead of any other emotion they are feeling. Porter then discusses that in the long-term this reaction can lead to your partner hiding their feelings and not telling you their experiences or feelings. Some possible solutions to stop this invalidation, include starting to listen more deeply and recognizing that your partner is their own person and will respond differently to a situation than you might. I can honestly say having been subject to emotional invalidation in the past, I have caught myself now invalidating things that my partner is telling me about his experiences. Oftentimes, I am able to catch myself in these moments and I apologize to him and let him tell him what was happening and how he was feeling without interjecting or dismissing. I let him tell me how he feels and express in any way he wants.

Overall, if you find yourself inwardly posing the question “am I overreacting?” discuss with your partner the ways you feel that their reactions may be invalidating your own emotions. Emotional invalidation can take a toll on you as an individual, your relationship, and how we relate to our own experiences. It’s important to listen to your partner and allow space for all these feelings in your relationship.

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By: Ashley Geiser 

Ashley Geiser is a Junior studying English with a concentration in Creative Writing at Pace University. She is also the Editor-in-Chief and Co-President for Her Campus at Pace. She loves reading and editing. And when she is not reading or editing, she can be found baking in her kitchen.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Love Like Her: Empathy

Tuesday, July 5th, 2022

“Oh, it goes beyond sympathy. Sympathy is to understand what someone feels; empathy is to project your imagination so that you actually feel what the other person is feeling: you put yourself in the other person’s place. Do I make myself clear?”

Funny Face. Directed by Stanley Donen, Paramount Pictures, 1957.

If I could have any superpower I would sprout a field of flowers that would give people empathy once a flower is picked. Empathy is a selfless gift all people need to possess, yet most do not. It’s a social intelligence people should learn when they’re small: to treat people how you want to be treated

“I don’t want to have sex with someone, unless, they’re my boyfriend,” I’d tell him, “we don’t have to be in love. I just want to make sure it’s worth it, I guess.” It was a rule I made for myself when I decided I was ready, but it was a rule I let slip. Nearly a week later, he would write in the essay I was helping him with: “my girlfriend is annoying.” I decided to ignore it. People should vocalize the people they want? He kept it up though, he would suggest in little ways I was already his girlfriend without ever communicating it. Maybe he was afraid? Maybe, even though I vocalized that I wanted to be in a relationship with him, he was still insecure? I kept extending myself to him in that way, collecting more and more flowers. Perhaps, some part of him thought I would change my mind. I understood how scary that is and so I let him in. Once I did, he changed. I would always think of him in some capacity. I thought of how my every word, action, and mood would affect him. I wanted him to be happy and I wanted to make sure I was making him happy, that’s all. When that was not reciprocated, I could taste the way things would end before they did.

During the evening of my mother’s and father’s relationship, my dad was incarcerated, my brother was on his way, and my mom was tired. Before he went away, for what was the next five years of my life, there were no more blockbuster dates. My dad had his own apartment and my mom and I lived in the same house just a few floors higher. She went to work a lot and sometimes I’d even go with her. The clues of separation only come to me now. I saw my dad less and less, but after a long week, he was my weekend vacation. I was in sweet little kid bliss. Even when we all hung out separately everything was okay. When my dad was arrested I saw their closing come to a halt. Whatever happened between them was now in a back pocket. When my dad needed someone most he knew who was in his corner, despite everything.

I knew the boy stopped thinking of me when I was no longer something to have. It was as if we were no longer friends. He didn’t want to hang out and play video games, talk, or watch movies anymore. He would only come around for two things: sex and empathy. He would always make up excuses that were tailored in an effort to get what he wanted. I knew I would never let him feel the way he was making me feel, but I stayed. I couldn’t understand why the relationship was changing the way that it did. From there, we were on a rollercoaster that was just in for a loop when we decided to quarantine together those first covid months. He had nothing to prove when it was just us but he never stopped being apathetic. When he became so naturally codependent on me and I decided I would never allow myself to depend on someone like him. “I don’t need you,” I’d tell him in the kindest way possible. “I can take care of myself,” I’d remind him. “I just want you, not need” he had to remember. During our true finale, when I told him, “you always said such mean things to me, I didn’t deserve that.” He would respond with “and you did too.” When I asked him to name examples he’d bring up those old conversations of how I never needed him, how he did me, and how I told it to him.   

I learned that undoubtedly from all the women in my family, especially my mother. Caring comes naturally to a woman in a relationship otherwise she couldn’t call it her own. Regardless of herself, she is supposed to tend, water, feed, and love so fiercely. My mother, she showed enough care and love for both of them to exist as parents. She wrote letters and letters reminding him of how much love he had.  She couldn’t bear the thought of being taken away from her daughter’s first day of kindergarten and her son’s first day of life. She wrote all the things she wanted and would want to hear if her mistakes had pulled her away from the things she loved most. Her heart broke in all the ways she thought his heart was. She put so much time and energy into her empathy. Her only remedy for being taken for granted was to never need in return. To take care of herself second and to depend on no one because how awful would it feel to receive love the same amount of love you give for it to be taken away. 

When she was finally on the outside, having that free time she then thought of herself instead. Picking flowers and actually smelling them. He was so far away now taking up less space and there was finally room to breathe and become. To become someone who wasn’t a pile of everyone else’s feelings. That is when she learned to dance. 

I never believed that everything he did and said was what I did not deserve. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t good enough and that was the best excuse he wore. I was angry at myself all the time and when I wanted to be hurt I’d call him. I didn’t love him. I wouldn’t ever love him in that way even if we were happy. But, I knew then I thought that was the love I thought I deserved. I let him treat me the same way I treated myself and the way I have always been treated. 

If I could have any superpower I would sprout a field of flowers that would give people empathy once a flower is picked. Not only would they learn to treat others how they’d want to be treated, but they’d learn to have empathy for themselves. When I  take the time to understand my feelings and give myself room to feel those feelings without shame, that’s empathy. I am going to be stuck with myself for the rest of my life. And as I grow older I find I would never treat someone the way I do myself. I can be unkind, ruthless to my brain and body, and still push myself to do and be in situations that steal from my person. The first step toward receiving what I deserve from the world is by creating a blueprint. 

Edited by Jackson Bailey
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By Melodie Goncalves

Melodie Goncalves is a rising senior at Rhode Island College pursuing her degree in English/Creative Writing and Sociology. She has passions for reading, writing, caring for others, and music. Spending lots of her time with friends and family.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services. At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Love Like Her: Movie Kisses

Friday, June 24th, 2022

As a little girl, every so often, my teenage parents and I would go to a Blockbuster, buy snacks, and escape the world to watch a movie together. We would return home to a room just below three apartments, occupied by my mother’s parents, their children, and their children’s children. As a three/four-year-old, I grew up constantly running upstairs, fighting with my cousins, hopping fences, singing Keyshia Cole with my mom’s baby sister, crying, running, and dancing. It was so loud all the time – except for our little room in the basement where I first met love. Just like many others, my first love manifested in the first home I can remember. In that home with the scraggly carpet and the coldest air, love was the personification of two people: my mom and dad. Every detail of the love they gave to each other and gave to me illustrated the way I would soon love. With that, I learned there were parts of loving that were meant for movies, and then there were parts that hid in basements. 

I did not become interested in boys until I felt I truly had to. I was a kid busy being an adult for most of my life. I was always told I was so mature—so socially intelligent for my age, and I was never worried for. During my second semester in college, I was all the way down in Florida, purposefully far from that first home and all the people that occupied it. I was able to try on different versions of myself and be a kid in that way. I had only myself to think about until I met someone familiar. We met in a weird way; his best friend and I were interested in each other, and because this familiar boy and I were both part of the low sum of brown kids at this Florida college we quickly became friends. We hung out all the time, we talked, and we played video games. Our personalities aligned well, and again, something about him was just so familiar. I was convinced that the familiarity was something meaningful, so I stuck around. I got into fights with my friends about him, even letting an important friendship slip away, but I counted on that feeling I had with him. I protected him in all the ways a person could and began to care deeply. One night alone with him, we watched movies, got snacks, and escaped the world for a little while.  He never offered me a conversation with my own spotlight—everything was always about him. I mustered up courage anyhow and told him how I needed a friend because everything I knew so far about college made me sad. It was too different, and I wasn’t connecting the way everyone else was. I explained that as a first-generation, I had always wanted to go to college, never really understanding what it was. And when vulnerability poured from me, a gate opened for him, and things started to play like a film. 

My dad always wanted to be the favorite and my mom always wanted to make sure I was okay. In our little home, they had horrendous fights. My mom would always be sure that he was cheating and they’d scream back and forth. If I knew anything about love then, it’s that it was all about loyalty. Since my mom was the one who I was with the most, I knew she was as loyal as they came. She completed little acts of service with such love and effort that even in her complete exhaustion, she would still prioritize the person she loved. She’d give and give so much to my dad and be returned with clues that he was with someone else. Because my mother made me brush my hair into tight ponytails so I wouldn’t get head lice, and because he bought me a new toy every week, I was loyal to him too. “Mommy, you crazy,” I’d say. “Stop yelling at daddy.” It was so natural of me to take his side because it was the side that was always taken by her, too, even when she was hurt. That kind of loyalty, I learned from my mother, and it is the kind of loyalty I carry into my relationships, today. 

Later on that movie-esque night, we turned on some music and tried out some goofy dance moves until the gate opened wider and our dancing slowed. I was never interested in any boy like I was interested in him. I wrote a plot in my head about how this night could end perfectly, and he followed it perfectly. I wanted to see where the night could go, and eventually, we kissed. It was a comfortable kiss. I didn’t want anything less and certainly not anything more, because that sort of thing didn’t happen in movies—not in moments like these. He looked at me and said, “I think I’m falling in love with you.” I couldn’t say anything back, of course. I just kind of looked at him, shocked. No one had ever said those words to me before. It was scary and special, and he was giving me everything I wanted. Oh, how familiar it was. 

It wasn’t very cool to live in a basement, according to everyone and their kid. They explained that it was more of a sad thing, but I never minded their judgment because my dad bought me the coolest of things. My dad prioritized wants over needs, and because I always had the things I wanted, life was euphoric. And since my mother would give and give, she would also never need. After all, it wasn’t good to need or depend on someone else. 

Soon enough on that night, the boy would ask for something that would lead me closer to his true intentions. Even though no one had ever wanted me like this and I had never had a night like this, it was disingenuous, and I couldn’t admit that. I was desperate for this story—desperate to be loved—and he reminded me so much of home. I found out later in our relationship that he was not the kindest person, but I didn’t need to be told I was beautiful. I learned that he was not the most truthful, but I didn’t need him to be genuine. I knew he wasn’t the most empathetic, but then again, I didn’t need to be cared for. 

Somehow and somewhere I found myself giving more to the boy than I did to myself because I just wanted him around. I counted on those movie nights because I was convinced that was really all I needed. I was trying to replicate a fragile love between my mother and father. That was all I knew love was. 


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By Melodie Goncalves

Melodie Goncalves is a rising senior at Rhode Island College pursuing her degree in English/Creative Writing and Sociology. She has passions for reading, writing, caring for others, and music. Spending lots of her time with friends and family.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services. At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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You’re Not a Mind Reader, and Neither Are Your Friends (Probably)

Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

In my last chapter, I talked about metaphors—now, I’d like to address the irony that lies in many of the processes tied to friendship-building. The greatest, and probably most obvious one is what I’ll call the “You Should Know That” phenomenon. This refers to the all-too-familiar thought process that we all have a tendency to fall into at some point during the friendship-making process, where we start to believe (and expect) that our friends are mind readers, who have the ability to deduce, without being told, everything we need and require of them.

In the early stages of friendship, we are not at risk of falling into this trap. In one of my Communication Studies courses this year, we went over “Uncertainty Reduction Theory”; the idea that at this point in the friendship formation process, the uncertainty in your relationship is at its peak height, and that the focus of all communication efforts is therefore placed on uncertainty reduction. You realize that you have to be explicit and clear about what you mean and need, and you never seem to run out of questions or anecdotes that may draw some piece of information or knowledge out of them that would help you get a better picture of who they are. 

Slowly (but surely), you get more comfortable around your friend, and start to (at times mistakenly) believe that there really isn’t that much you don’t know. Instead of asking them about every single detail of their life, you’re more focused on finding “natural flow”, and start to fill in the gaps of your knowledge about them with assumptions. These assumptions, whether positive or negative, will have a pretty big impact on the way in which your friendship evolved from there. 

In my own personal experience, assumptions such as these led to the deterioration of a friendship which might have otherwise survived. After a couple of weeks of meeting this friend, I had a whole list of assumptions, ready to soothe whatever uncertainties blatantly existed in our relationship; I assumed that when they didn’t respond to my greetings, they were probably listening to music very loud and didn’t want to be disturbed. I assumed that when they stopped telling me everything about their day and weekends, it meant they just needed a little space. I assumed that we were fine, doing good, and that they could see that I was just eager to get to know them better and all I needed was an indication from them that they wanted the same…and I was wrong. This whole time, I had been assuming that they knew what I was thinking, and that I had stopped approaching them as much because I had noticed (or perceived) a slight withdrawal, and taken that to mean that they wanted space. All the while, they had seen my sudden lack of questions and interest in their life as a form of judgement, of disdain and disinterest.

“[ C ] Francis Hyman Criss – Mind reader” by Cea. is licensed under CC BY 2.0

The hard-to-swallow truth is, you (probably) aren’t as good at “reading minds” as you think you are—even your friends’. It’s only natural to start letting assumptions rule your view of others, and it’s true that with a certain amount of time and friendship formation, some things can become more implicit than they previously were. However, it’s also important to remember that no matter how well or how long we get to know someone, we are never truly capable of seeing and understanding how they are feeling, at the very least not without communicating directly with them.

So what can you do? I guess the Golden Rule comes in handy here: treat others the way you want to be treated. It is important to learn to ask for what you need, and to make it clear to your friends that they can do the same with you. If you’re to build a long-lasting and fulfilling friendship, you both need to feel comfortable enough to tell each other how you really feel; you can do that by setting a standard for open and honest communication early in the relationship. Otherwise, you might be missing out on several friendships which you may assume failed out of an incompatibility between the two of you, and not the real, root cause:misunderstandings tied to a lack of clear, direct, and honest communication. 

Main Takeaways: 

  • As we get more comfortable around our friends, we stop relying on verbal communication as much and let our messages become more implicit—this can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and tense moments. 
  • It’s important to remember that feelings don’t always reflect reality;it’s important to talk to your friends about your feelings and learn to ask for the affirmation and confirmation you need from them. This will help you grow in your relationship and set the standard for an honest and long-lasting friendship.

By: Chiara Jurczak

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Plugging in with Good Intentions — Chapter 5: Bridge the Distance

Monday, August 9th, 2021

Despite the exceptional ability to search on the World Wide Web and instantly receive information, our modern-day technology allows us to accomplish one significant thing — bridge the distance. Today, we have the ability to communicate with people across the world. Advancements in technology and the Internet have come so far, and they continue to develop and improve for the better. We are extremely lucky to even have a mini device that fits into our pocket that can connect us to not only people, but places to eat, shop, and entertain ourselves. 

It seems bizarre to think that our elders were accustomed to sending handwritten letters and playing board games for entertainment. The amount of time and effort it takes to execute tasks such as ordering something from Amazon or looking up the latest news is cut in half because of technology and the Internet. A world without modern-day devices is almost inconceivable.

Think of the Covid-19 pandemic that we are still suffering through after more than a year of its discovery. Due to the transmissibility of the virus, many of us have had to resort to utilizing technology in order to connect with others. Health regulations and social distancing guidelines have created a wider gap between all of us. Despite this, the ability to continue with everyday life is possible because most of us are lucky enough to use devices that help uphold some degree of communication. From remote learning to working from home, we are still able to maintain our connections. Web conferencing applications such as Zoom, Skype, and Google Meet are just a few of the many platforms that allow virtual face-to-face meetings from anywhere that has an Internet connection. 

Even if you don’t prefer turning on the webcam, there is still the ability to simply talk to others through technology. While it was an early contraption, Alexander Graham Bell’s invention of the telephone revolutionized communication. While some of us might not own a landline anymore, most of us do have a mobile phone that can make calls. 

Fast forward to the 21st century, it’s safe to say that times have changed and younger generations continue to utilize other means of communication. Social media platforms such as Facebook and Twitter have been popularized and allow users to instantaneously express thoughts and connect with people worldwide. Whether you prefer to call, text, web conference, or simply post an update on social media, technology and the Internet allow you to communicate across great distances. 

Personally, I can’t go a day without using some form of device that connects to the Internet. One time I did last most of the day without my devices. Though, I do have to admit that it was for a challenge assigned by one of my professors. Notably, a digital detox is good for the mind and body, as it’s a way to appreciate the tangible reality that is right in front of us.

In the end, it’s important to recognize the need for boundaries and knowing when to take a break from technology and the Internet. Yet, once you’re ready to log back into that device just remember to plug in with good intentions


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By: Sydney Ly

Sydney Ly studies Communication with dual minors in Sociology and Anthropology at the University of Massachusetts Boston. She is currently working in retail and has experience as a tutor. Her passions include but are not limited to reading, listening to music, and watching The Office.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The Importance of Listening to Our Mind, Body and Soul

Monday, November 2nd, 2020

Self-care is one of the most important elements in our lives, it is crucial for our physical, mental, and emotional health. We must listen to ourselves, and our bodies in order to keep functioning as human beings. Without listening to our body and soul we can’t possibly maintain a steady relationship with ourselves or others, acknowledging your worth serves as a reminder that you matter too. You matter as much as the deadlines you have, loads of work, or the bad day you had last week. I believe that we don’t listen and give the care that our health and bodies deserve. I am guilty of that, and I’m sure you are too. Self-care is more than just your mental stability, it is about listening to what your body feels and needs. These necessities can be sleeping your full hours, eating your three meals, or pampering yourself.  Only you understand yourself more than anyone else, listen to yourself as you are the change that could potentially lead to the road of happiness. 

One effective way to listen to yourself is learning about the goals, dreams, and values you’d like to pursue in life, it allows you to explore your mind. Our schedules and routines are often very busy, it doesn’t give us room to declutter our feelings and emotions. Have you ever asked yourself, how am I feeling today? It is an effective way of communicating with ourselves, for some it may involve keeping a journal, talking to a friend, or talking with yourself. This helps eliminate negative thoughts, to learn about what you most desire and it can also serve as a form of encouragement to process your thoughts. The law of attraction actually empathizes that our minds are so powerful, it has the ability to attract positive and negative experiences. It is important to understand that although we don’t entail superpowers, we are in control of our minds and behavior, a lot of the time we allow for negative experiences to hinder our success. 

Jacobson, Sherri ” Do you know what you really think and feel?”, https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/how-to-listen-to-yourself.htm. Accessed 1 Nov 2020.

Self-care is not another term for being too selfish or too conceited. In fact, it is about being self-conscious. Although it sounds very easy it is actually something we aren’t very attentive to during our day-to-day lives as it can be very demanding. Before you look out for others you must check in with yourself and ask if you’re okay. These are a couple of ideas that will promote self-love and enrich your life more. An idea is exercising to stay active, treat yourself with a nice take out meal, or even take yourself out on a shopping date. Invest in yourself, spend some time alone, or get something done that will boost your self-esteem. Even if it means putting your phone away. Overall, do something that you enjoy and will lift your spirit

Unknown, “Pamper yourself..” https://www.levisagewellness.com/pamper-yourself-with-a-spa-treatment-in-everett/. Accessed 1 Nov 2020.

It is important to learn how to say no, and put yourself as your main priority. Make sure to recognize your limits, listen to what your body and mind are signaling to you through the muscle restraints and those body aches as a result of being overworked. You need the energy to make rightful decisions, to stay strong, and to achieve your goals. Regardless, if it means learning how to say no. By responding yes to everyone, you’re living up to their needs and expectations causing your physical and mental health to feel burned out.  A lot of the time we feel forced to say yes in order to maintain our personal relationships but what about the relationship with ourselves?. Saying no requires inner strength but it takes practice and learning how to be respectful towards yourself as well.

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By: Yadira Tellez

Yadira is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Technology, majoring in Fashion Business Management and minoring in English literature. She’s worked in retail and has had the opportunity to work behind the scenes during NYFW. Her dream is to be a Fashion Stylist, but enjoys creative writing to relieve stress and express her mind.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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How Effective Listening Can Improve Our Lives

Tuesday, October 27th, 2020

“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do the listening” Larry king once said. Being a good listener is an essential skill in life, and serves as a guide for self personal growth. People often interpret success differently, listening encourages the success of harmony, empathy and conversation amongst one another. The gift of listening is about dominating the qualities of an effective listener and understanding its benefits. 

Drobot, Dean. “Active Listening” 2017, https://www.css.de/blog/2017/03/01/active-listening-active-listening-improve-your-communication-and-build-positive-relationships/. Accessed 26 Oct 2020.

Every day we are required to be attentive and to listen. In the workplace or career path, it plays an important role in self-improvement and it is vital to success. Nathalie De Joya, a student attending Hunter College, majoring in Nursing conveys the power of listening as a health care worker. “Being a good listener is imperative in nursing. The art of nursing highlights the care we give to our patients that foster meaning and relationship”(De Joya) It is a good experience and self-rewarding to not only the nurse but to the patient receiving the acknowledgment that they deserve. One of the biggest emphasis of nursing is that we should always give patient-centered care and being a good listener is definitely something you need to achieve this” (De Joya). A nurse requires skills such as being active and having full concentration. In fact, these skills are tools that allow nurses to work collaboratively with their patients. Patients want to be understood, and feel in the right hands, it helps establish a good relationship with their nurse if communication is effective. I, myself hadn’t realized how much listening revolves around nurses accomplishing their job. Through this interview with Nathalie I’ve learned that being a nurse is much more than studying medicine and a Bachelor’s degree, it goes far beyond that horizon. To be successful in the field, you must instill trust and be empathetic, listening is key. In addition, it opened my mind to learn about new ideas and the different functions of every role within the workplace.

David Mejia, is an overnight Full-time Associate for Target. The company’s objectives involve a commitment to, “Exhibiting honesty, respect and concern for others through every interaction” stated in Target’s Code of Ethics (Code of Ethics, 2019) During his overnight “Stocking” position he is in charge of replenishing the sales floor with inventory in order to create profit. ” I can’t stress enough how crucial it is to listen and work together as a team in order to achieve our end goals” exclaimed David. I took the freedom to ask him, what are your techniques or tips to achieve your delegated tasks? ” You must be attentive to detail, and discipline yourself on time however, listening carefully allows me to have a good work performance because it makes me aware of what is expected of me”. “How has being an effective listener helped you grow in the workplace?” I asked. “It helped me build confidence, work productively but overall it’s given me the opportunity to build positive relationships with my managers” (Mejia). David depicts how effective listening empowers us to be our better selves, and working in a safe environment persuades us to speak up during any situation.

Throughout the happiest moments of our lives, we want someone to listen and share our laughter with. Especially during the hardships of our lives, we want to feel safe. Listening is the core of empowerment, relationships, and living to the fullest. It is the beauty of being human, validating one’s emotions, being able to conversate and share a connection on a deeper level. Overall, listening allows trust, empathy, and positive relationships in our lives.

You can find all of our active coupons at this link. Redeem them here:


By: Yadira Tellez

Yadira is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Technology, majoring in Fashion Business Management and minoring in English literature. She’s worked in retail and has had the opportunity to work behind the scenes during NYFW. Her dream is to be a Fashion Stylist, but enjoys creative writing to relieve stress and express her mind.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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How to Become an Effective Listener

Tuesday, October 20th, 2020

Being a listener means paying attention not only to our five senses but with our hearts. Anyone can be blessed with the ability to hear sound, but being a gifted listener means being attentive. There are techniques, tips, and different approaches that one can take to enhance our listening skills through effort and desire.

According to study reports made by the Florida State University and Michigan State University stated, ” The average listener will remember only about 25% of what was said” (Nichols and Stevens, “Listening to people”) Conveying that listening isn’t naturally a strong element we possess already, it is a gift that is taught and learned. Julian treasure, a speaker and expert upon the mystery behind sound and communication skills describes this learning experience as a mental process of “extraction” and unconsciously “filtered” (Treasure, 2011, Ted talks). One of the reasons why we lack listening skills is because we generally filter what we prefer to hear versus what we rather not or unless there is a benefit behind it. In ” 5 ways to listen better” Treasure expresses the importance of understanding the value of time as we listen in order to be successful.

One technique to become an effective listener is learning to be “silent”. Society has built our minds to always be on the move creating a foggy scenery, Silence helps refresh our ears and minds allowing us to be both physically and mentally present in the room. Another technique called the “Mixer” is described as a mixing bowl of sounds from birds chirping to the different channels of sounds in a noisy environment. This technique requires being attentive to what sounds you’re listening to, how many sounds there are, how far, or how close are these sounds, enhancing your ability to listen. Treasure recommends two of his many techniques to help become more effective as a listener and to improve the quality of listening in your lifestyle.  

Cruse, Rose. “It is important to be a good listener. Why?”, 17 Oct 2017, https://medium.com/@cruserose95/it-is-important-to-be-a-good-listener-why-8823ffb8651d. Accessed 20 Oct 2020.

Oftentimes it feels good to have someone you can confide with, reveal your tears with, or share your biggest aspirations. By natural instinct as human beings, we have embodied emotions that are universal, allowing us to create empathy amongst us. Therefore, apart from how we may feel occasionally, we can also absorb other people’s emotions which depicts the connection between another living soul. One way to be an effective listener is to make eye contact with your significant other, it shows respect and encourages the other person to express themselves. Secondly, as Treasure mentioned silence is key to listening especially in this given situation, it will help you envision and concentrate on what the other person is communicating to you. It can be a lot of information to retain or analyze therefore, you want to listen thoroughly. Thirdly, clean your mind and be ready to be open-minded, without having any judgment or opinions. Most importantly, do not interrupt or try to relate to the conflict. Most of the time the speaker wants to be heard, don’t make it about you. Lastly, once the speaker has finished ask if they would like feedback or advice on any possible solutions rather than imposing your solutions as it can cause stress or tension. The goal is to be patient and to understand the point of the speaker.

Better yet, if the person needs some cheering up or a friend by their side. Campus Clipper provides a fun variety of in house or online coupons you can use to make conversation, and enjoy a lovely meal. In order to have access to these two, 20% off coupons, you must click on the links provided below. Stay tuned there are more to come!

https://www.campusclipper.com/new/popup1.php?CUP_COD=3860

https://www.campusclipper.com/new/popup1.php?CUP_COD=3861

You can find all of our active coupons at this link. Redeem them here:


By: Yadira Tellez

Yadira is currently enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Technology, majoring in Fashion Business Management and minoring in English literature. She’s worked in retail and has had the opportunity to work behind the scenes during NYFW. Her dream is to be a Fashion Stylist, but enjoys creative writing to relieve stress and express her mind.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The Never Ending Joys of Roommates

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Serrana Gay

Roommates. We all have them, and if you haven’t had one yet, chances are you will at some point. Whether your roommate is your best friend or someone you met a week ago at orientation, living with people is always a challenge.

I have lived with a whole cast of colorful characters: boyfriends, best friends, strangers, and strangers who have become friends. Each relationship has had its ups and downs and each relationship has taught me something different. But time and time again I always come back to the same thing: COMMUNICATION. Without it any relationship is destined to fail.

During my last year of college I fought with my best friend over who was going to vacuum the living room. We didn’t speak for a week. One comment from me led to a dismissal from her, which grew into a text message war, which exploded into a screaming argument and then total silence–endless, dragging silence. Days and days of silence.

Then one day I had an epiphany, a forehead slap moment. The reason we weren’t resolving anything was because we weren’t speaking. We had gotten into a vicious circle of non-communication.  Of course, I thought. We were never going to fix anything if we didn’t speak.

That very afternoon I apologized. I told her I was upset because I felt like I was the only one that ever cleaned, and that I realized that I  had played a part in making her upset. She said she felt like I was mothering her. We hugged and by the end of the conversation, we were laughing at our own stupidity.

What I took away from this experience is that 1) nine times out of ten, conflicts arise from misunderstanding or things left unsaid, and 2) it is better to confront things head-on than to stay mad.

I know this seems a little too easy, and that sometimes talking about your feelings can be difficult. But take it from someone who knows, without communication all relationships are doomed to fail.  As life coach Tony Robbins so aptly puts it, “To effectively communicate we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

So I put it to you, dear readers, to be the different ones. Take up the challenge and share how you are feeling. Communicate. You will be surprised at how much more easily you will coexist with those you share the world with. And you just might find that the way you treat people will start to shape who you become, the person you are.

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