Not being a part of the action is one of the worst feelings for me–that I admit now. I am guilty of finding every excuse available in the book to study over hanging out with new friends, finding free events in the city, and getting college student discounts while at it too. You obviously don’t have to sacrifice one over the other, but I did think so the moment I started college. I partly blame high school for this.
Senior year of high school was stressful. We had to do presentations of our career choice detailing everything from the average annual income, work responsibilities, to the everyday work environment. Out of the 25 or so of us, only two students including myself did our presentation on journalism. I was so excited until I was met with cynical looks and comments like “That won’t pay much.” I felt so defeated because what this meant to me was that I was unprepared for college. I didn’t want to imagine my future was one HUGE question mark.
I felt even worse when I didn’t meet the deadline to register for early college courses to earn credits as a high school senior. It seemed like everyone already beat me to it. When the time came to declare what college we would each be going to, I had no answer. I had applied to about five different colleges—two SUNYs and three CUNYs. My first choice was SUNY Purchase, and I did get accepted. Until my father told me it was too far from home and couldn’t go. I felt betrayed by this decision because it could have finally been my chance to find my crowd. Every other college rejected me, and there came that lack of certainty again.
I have to give myself credit for knowing how to handle the rejection considering I was basically a social reject all throughout grade school and high school. I found it hard to relate to my peers–-probably had a lot to do with being sheltered and socially awkward. I ultimately found myself going the community college route as my ex-boyfriend advised me. While it wasn’t my first choice, I was relieved to have found someplace to go to college. And I ended up loving it there, too. It was like a second home.
I knew going into community college that I wouldn’t see many familiar faces. Many of my high school classmates practically followed each other to upstate New York for SUNY colleges. Many seemed to mainly want to go for the college parties. While I never considered myself a party girl, there was a part of me that wanted to feel “normal,” as much as I dislike that word now. Bronx Community College did have the occasional party, but it wasn’t the hottest place to be–-not in College Land nor in New York. After a while, I realized that I kept finding myself in unpopular places, and that had to be for a reason. This didn’t mean that I wasn’t a party girl (at least not publicly), just that there was a certain crowd I preferred being around. And certain places too. Like bookstores, cafes, libraries, or public squares. And call me weird, but I never used these places as personal study corners.
Putting studies over parties during college has its benefits for sure. But you don’t need permission, especially not from your parents to let yourself enjoy a social moment for the sake of it. Stay on track, but also let yourself breathe. A party doesn’t have to mean the end of your studies.
As a final note, you might genuinely like going the route less taken like I did; no shame in that. Join the “weirdos,” for a change. And stay smart!
By Daeli Vargas
Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.
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