Hookup culture is more prevalent than ever, and more bound to happen than conventional dating on a college campus. Dating is difficult because it’s hard to find someone who is on the same page as you. Students are more comfortable and familiar with the act of hooking up because it lacks the etiquette of traditional dating. Hooking up is designed to be a more casual activity in which there’s more comfort, and society has gotten acclimated to it. A genuine date involves only two individuals that are attracted to each other, nobody else should be a part of it. It’s important to come up with at least 3 questions prior to setting up a date. The point of this is to sustain a conversation and get to know one another on a deeper level. It’s advised that one should be diligent in regards to questions, because asking countless questions will probably lead to an interview or interrogation rather than a date. If someone doesn’t make time or effort to see you, then continue to proceed with the next one to avoid wasting time and being emotionally attached to one person. The objective of going on dates is to understand if both parties are compatible and could see a future together. In addition, attending multiple dates with the same person is like an experiment to progress further and see if the next step should be taken. Just like rankings, there are levels to dating which are a series of sequential steps that form the foundation of a relationship.
Stage 1: You’re permitted to go on countless dates with different people to see who is the right fit and worth dating. This part of the process can be defined as trial and error by selecting potential partners and weeding out those not worth your time and attention. The date must be in person, under 90 minutes, and with no physical interaction or intimacy. If you’re proposing the date then you should take charge and cover the cost, and don’t forget to have three to four questions in mind prepared. A level one date allows you to explore others’ personalities, their preferences and dislikes, who they really are, and helps you to decide if you want to pursue a relationship with that person.
Stage 2: Now that you’re on the path of dating you can take baby steps to proceed, but this doesn’t have to be real relationship work. Once you are dating someone then there shouldn’t be any sense of uncertainty as to whether your partner likes you. I mean obviously your partner likes you, otherwise there wouldn’t be a romantic relationship in the first place unless you’re being manipulated or cheated on. This stage also conveys exclusivity, which implies that you’re concentrating on only one person and having sexual affairs.
Stage 3: After you complete the first two stages, you should be capable of laying the groundwork for what’s next. By this phase, you should be emotionally invested in your partner and schedule time to hold long and important conversations. Have a timeline of where you would like to be, and see if it aligns and meshes well with your significant other. For example, get in the habit of chatting about marriage, family, and moving in together. Jumping too quickly to this portion of the relationship will inevitably lead to a skewed partnership which will end up in a big predicament.
Following the guidelines above will put you in a safer position in the dating realm, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Technology has changed the way we communicate; more chats occur online than in person. We’ve grown so attached to our devices that sometimes we deem online messaging to be more conventional and less awkward than in person exchanges. A good deal of people fear the idea of a relationship because of the commitment aspect and sacrifices. It would be preposterous to not believe that everyone prefers an attractive person when it comes to romance. However, it’s probable that you can develop feelings for someone who you may not be initially attracted to once you really begin to see their character. You’d be astonished to see how many failed and toxic relationships break out as a result of just dating off of physical appearance alone; it’s crucial to recognize one’s ideology and what they can project to the world aside from their beauty.
I admit that dating can be frightening for a variety of reasons like rejection and vulnerability. Even so, you should perceive this as a driving force to help you put the idea of dating into practice, to explore new territory and get you out of your comfort zone. There’s no telling what new heights you can reach if you just take the chance because it’s either now or never!
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By: Alex Huang
Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.
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