Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Chapter Three: The Circle of Life

Thursday, July 6th, 2023
My frisbee team winning the spirit award at a tournament!

When I got the email saying that I had been nominated to be an administrator for my ultimate frisbee team, I was overwhelmed by intense emotions of excitement, pride, and anxiety. The Banshee Leadership Team, or BLT, is my college frisbee team’s group of captains and administrators. They oversee practice plans, tournament logistics, rostering players, and more. The biggest task may be bringing the positive spirit and energy to every team event, and being a reliable source of trust and confidence; to be a leader. 

A smile crept over my face as I read the email. I was chosen. Me, the quiet freshman with no experience in frisbee, had been recognized as a hardworking, dedicated member of the team. My improvement over the past four seasons had been noteworthy, and I was ready to take it to the next level. 

But was I really a leader? I was afraid to let people down. I always preferred to listen rather than take initiative, so that I had a clear set of directions to follow. Public speaking had never really been my strong suit, either. Sometimes, I don’t even answer phone calls because I’m scared to talk to the person on the other end. I was afraid that I was going to mess this administrator thing up and that people would question why I was in that position. I’m still learning the art of ultimate frisbee, too—though I’d significantly improved, there were plenty of teammates who were more skilled and I was worried that they might look down on me. 

I shouldn’t think that, because my team isn’t like that; we’re a family. It’s an issue I have with almost every social scenario. Doing group work for classes, I worry if I’m doing my part correctly. At work, I worry about whether my boss is going to fire me because I made a small error. Even while hanging out with close friends, I wonder if they really want to meet up with me or if they’re doing it out of obligation or because they can’t say no. 

I still have these intrusive thoughts, but I had to remind myself that being nominated was a good thing. A good thing. I talked to some of my teammates and they were nothing but encouraging. I didn’t have to have anything figured out at the time, and I was allowed to keep learning too. I had the entire team to back me, and not out of obligation—but out of their hearts—because I would do the exact same for them.

Old and new Banshee leadership!

Though I’m new on this journey, I’ll do my best to make my frisbee team better. I want to serve this community and give back joy and confidence which was instilled in me by past leaders. Without the incredible teammates who rooted for me, even when I made mistakes, I wouldn’t have found the courage to continue finding my passion for the sport. I have had special moments with all of my past captains and administrators, all of whom have helped me to grow, but two of them really stand out. One of my captains from my freshman year would always high five me and hype me up. She really made practice fun and helped me to open up. That same year,  one of the administrators helped me learn how to throw a flick and was very patient and supportive of me. Now, I get to be that person for other newcomers and help them find their love for frisbee. It’s the circle of life. I’m proud of myself for getting to this point and excited to take on the challenges ahead.


Use this student discount to treat yourself to some ice cream!

By Agatha Edwards

Agatha Edwards is a rising junior at Brandeis University from Brooklyn, New York. She is majoring in health: science, society, and policy as well as psychology. She enjoys playing ultimate frisbee with her college team, going on runs, reading, writing, and binging TV shows. She enjoys exploring NYC and Boston with friends, especially where there are cute coffee shops involved.



For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter Two: Commitment is Key

Monday, June 26th, 2023
Me (black shirt) gripping the frisbee disc at a tournament.

In ninth grade, I was running along the pier when I saw a girl on my high school frisbee team deliver a perfect flick throw on a field. As the disc cut crisply through the air, I wished I could do that too. I tried with my own frisbee at home later that day, but it came crashing to the ground a few feet in front of me. The throw seemed impossible. I’d probably never learn how to do it. 

When I joined ultimate frisbee in college, I already knew how to perform the basic backhand throw, where you bring your arm across the side of your body to release. I learned how to grip the disc correctly for different scenarios. To aim for accuracy and stability, I learned the fan grip, and for longer and more powerful throws, I learned the power grip. I had no idea how to do the flick throw, a notoriously difficult maneuver for beginners. It usually takes a couple months to learn and get comfortable with, and I was no exception. The flick involves bringing your arm back towards your forehand side instead of across your body, a hand grip shaped like a gun, and wrist rather than arm movement to release the disc. 

I was annoyed at myself for not being able to grasp the concept at first. Lots of these girls had done frisbee in high school but the ones who hadn’t seemed to be improving faster than me. I was embarrassed when I had to throw a flick and it wobbled to the side just seconds after the disc was released from my hand. But the energy and atmosphere of the team motivated me to keep trying. Even when I failed or messed up, I would receive high fives and constructive feedback from the captains. They always told me what I had done well and how I could improve. When we were doing drills or practice scrimmages, they would always yell at me to “get in there!” and cheer loudly for me. Not just me, for everybody, but I was especially motivated when they called out my name. And slowly, I began to improve. I gained confidence and was able to throw smoother and longer flicks. It was fun. It became so easy that I started to prefer flicks over backhands.   

At a tournament a couple months ago, I faked a deep cut and sprinted under to receive the disc. Now that I’d caught it, I had to look for someone to pass the disc to next. Almost like it was in slow motion, I saw one of my teammates running full speed towards the endzone. I had an instinct, like I knew what to do without even thinking. I brought my right arm back and 

swung the disc with all my might. It was a perfect flick, sailing through the air, headed directly towards where my teammate was running. The next couple minutes were a blur of cheers, screams, and hugs as we celebrated that amazing play. Everyone was in awe of that throw. It may have been the longest, most accurate, most beautiful throw I had ever performed in my ultimate career, and it came at the perfect moment without me even really preparing or thinking about it. It just came naturally. 

Me hugging my teammate who caught the disc after my flick throw described above.

Even though the whole play was probably under 15 seconds, I think fondly of it all the time. I watch the video someone took of that throw just to relive that moment and hear everyone screaming my name. I think about how all the practice, all the failed flicks, and all the wobbly discs have all paid off for that moment. All the frustration from my mediocre throws was motivation for me to keep practicing those flicks, and now throwing a seamless flick with the right grip is automated for me. There’s still room to improve, of course, so I’ve been practicing longer, more powerful throws. But now I know what I can do. I know what I’m capable of. I came from that first terrible throw all those years ago to an amazing throw just like that girl from high school. Practicing may not always seem like it’ll pay off, but there will be a moment where you know it did. That moment came about a year and a half after I joined ultimate frisbee, when I made that throw. I realized that while every practice and throw may not be my best, they all contribute to the end result. Commitment is key. Don’t give up. 

I was able to talk to Dawn Culton, a nationally regarded rising ultimate frisbee star. She played throughout high school and for the University of North Carolina, and is now part of the US Women’s U-24 team for ultimate frisbee. She talked about how being committed to the sport has helped her grow. There were significant challenges, including the pandemic, but being physically and mentally present to all tournaments and practices is what pushed her through. The point about being mentally present really spoke to me, because you can be in the best physical shape but without the right mindset, you’re toast. I’ve learned to have a growth mindset in frisbee and focus on my improvements rather than my failures, which translates to all aspects of college. I’ve had a lot of “oops” moments where I’m running behind on an assignment or I have an issue with my friend or roommate, but instead of getting in my head about it, I really try to improve for the future. I’m a big overthinker but frisbee has taught me to trust the process and be more free. To not think so much but to just let it happen naturally. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made and excited for the growth that’s yet to come.


Use this student discount to treat yourself to a smoothie or bowl!


By Agatha Edwards

Agatha Edwards is a rising junior at Brandeis University from Brooklyn, New York. She is majoring in health: science, society, and policy as well as psychology. She enjoys playing ultimate frisbee with her college team, going on runs, reading, writing, and binging TV shows. She enjoys exploring NYC and Boston with friends, especially where there are cute coffee shops involved.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter One: An Introduction to Ultimate Frisbee

Wednesday, June 21st, 2023
My frisbee team, the Brandeis Banshee, at Northeast Regional Championships last spring

Jogging past the Hudson River on a breezy afternoon, I spy a disc zipping through the air. My high school’s ultimate frisbee team is having practice. I long to join them and sprint after that disc, make a sick catch and spike the frisbee hard on the grass, yet I can’t. I run Varsity cross country and track, and I have practice every single day. Turning my head around to focus on the path in front of me, I think, maybe someday

Three years later, I’m anxiously pacing towards a group of girls huddled on the corner of the Brandeis University club field. I almost didn’t come tonight because I’m nervous about a new sport and meeting new people. But I’m taking the chance and going to this first ultimate frisbee practice because who knows, it could be fun. 

Little did I know it would change my life. 

Ultimate frisbee is a seven versus seven non-contact sport played on an outdoor field. It is one of the fastest growing sports in the world, played by over 30 countries and by many high schools and colleges in the US. The goal is to pass the frisbee among players and make it to the endzone in order to score a point. The rules are like football and soccer, although ultimate is a non-contact sport. 

It was difficult at first to learn all the new terminology for ultimate. In terms of sports, I had only done basketball for a year in middle school, and then cross country and track for several years, which didn’t involve any ball or object. With ultimate, I had to learn how to hold and throw the disc, field formations (vertical stack, zone, poachy defense), names of certain plays we had to carry out, and how to cut successfully on offense, which is making a move on the field to get open for the disc. I learned how to be strategic and smart. 

Me, #64, high-fiving my teammate during a tournament

Another thing that was new to me was Spirit of the Game. Ultimate frisbee heavily emphasizes good sportsmanship, fairness, and honesty. As opposed to ice hockey or football, which can sometimes get messy, I noticed that my frisbee teammates were constantly encouraging and lifting each other up and giving positive feedback to each other. At my first tournament, we shouted team cheers and high fived after every single point. Though there is fierce competition with other teams on the field, we were all friendly with each other because of the pure joy that comes with playing this sport. The mindset of “I’ve got you next time” instead of “sorry for messing that up” really transformed my outlook on not just frisbee, but life. Immediately after each point during a tournament, my coach always says that the next point has already started, and to focus on that. For my schoolwork now, I try to focus on the next time, or the next opportunity, instead of drowning in failures of the past. I keep my head clear and focus on the future, what I can do to improve, and proactively go after it.

Now, three times a week, I have something to look forward to after classes. This motivates me to complete my work on time so that I can have fun and work hard at frisbee practice. This helps me balance my education with my extracurricular activities. I’m able to get great exercise in and focus on something other than schoolwork for a couple hours. And on days we don’t have practice, sometimes I’ll toss a frisbee casually with teammates to take a break from schoolwork or just to unwind and hang out. The positivity encapsulated by these teammates made me look forward to frisbee even more. The decision to go to that first practice that night may have been one of the best I’ve ever made. I’ve found a sport I love and a community I vibe with. Being surrounded by these friends helped me develop a passion for ultimate and motivated me to work harder at practice for the team. More on that next… 


Use this student discount to treat yourself to a free coffee with the purchase of a pastry at Paris Baguette!

By Agatha Edwards

Agatha Edwards is a rising junior at Brandeis University from Brooklyn, New York. She is majoring in health: science, society, and policy as well as psychology. She enjoys playing ultimate frisbee with her college team, going on runs, reading, writing, and binging TV shows. She enjoys exploring NYC and Boston with friends, especially where there are cute coffee shops involved.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Crescendo: Finding my Muse

Monday, July 18th, 2022

“Who you surround yourself with is who you become.” This concept, also known as the law of attraction, goes back at least to Confucius in the 6th century BC. All these centuries later, its wisdom has stood the test of time and often comes to mind when I think about my friends in college, who have become a second family of sorts. In college my friends and I live, eat, study, and relax together, and through these shared experiences I have come to understand how many ways there are to live by one’s own values and give back. 

Growing up under my parents’ roof, my ideas of giving back were based solely on more traditional forms of community support – volunteering at a soup kitchen, taking care of my family members, and giving money to charity. However, as I settled into college life, I began to see just how many forms giving back can take on, and how personal the best forms of giving back can be. Because of the many obligations that make time precious in college, the framework of volunteering that I turned to growing up no longer fit in my life. Instead, I learned how impactful it is to integrate personal passions into activities that align with one’s own values. 

It wasn’t until I got to college that I realized how much my practices surrounding personal values were enforced by my parents. They instilled the value of hard work by encouraging me to practice violin every day, study hard in school, and diligently seek out volunteer opportunities and part-time jobs. Furthermore, I grew up in a Jewish household and spent lots of time going to Hebrew school, services, and the youth group at my synagogue, where I learned about the Jewish principles of repairing the world and helping those around you. 

In a college environment, friendship is more than an outlet for fun – my friends are my support system, and their values make a difference. According to the research of social psychologist Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, the people you associate with determine 95% of your success or failure in life. My friends at college couldn’t care less whether I go to Friday night services or practice violin every day, but they do inspire me through their practices of spreading good in the community and beyond. 

One of my friends is very passionate about composting – just by listening to him talk about reducing personal waste, it is easy to see how deeply he cares about the environment. Over the course of this past school year, his gentle preaching has convinced all of his friends to start composting, including myself. I see the impact of his benevolence whenever I go over to our mutual friends’ houses and see the compost buckets that he personally distributed. He even gave one of our friends a hand-painted bucket covered in smiley faces and flowers. Although people too often forgo cutting down on personal waste because doing so can feel futile, my friend’s impact has been prolific due to his influence on others, and will continue to multiply as I pass on his wisdom by encouraging my own friends to compost.

Another friend of mine is passionate about social justice, and often speaks about her involvement with Students Organizing for Labor Rights, a club advocating for campus workers who are so often treated with negligence by the university. She promotes change by spreading awareness of overlooked local and international social issues on social media, as well as providing information about mutual aid funds. Her welcoming attitude in the face of difficult issues inspires me to get involved, and she often invites groups of friends to attend protests with her. I will never forget the first protest I attended with her, a march remonstrating police violence in Chicago. My friend became a leader of sorts, sharing her knowledge of what to bring and how to act in case of an emergency, as well as leading rally cries at the march. Her eagerness to discuss social issues has encouraged me to become more involved with local social justice issues.

A picture from a protest on police violence that I went to with my friend last year

Living in a time marked by a pandemic, political tumult, and rising levels of adolescent mental health issues, it is not always easy to find the motivation to uphold personal values. Whether I am picking up pieces of trash on the street or attending protests with my friend, upholding personal values comes easy when it also means spending time with friends and watching them thrive in their element. Seeing my friends take action around things that are important to them inspires me to pursue my own passions. My friends have played a key role in encouraging me to pursue my own musical passion, and their support motivates me to continue.  For me, becoming a DJ is not all about my love for music – my main goal as a DJ is to create a space on the dance floor that invites anyone and everyone to express themselves fully. I hope to  create something special for others to experience, and spread joy. And ultimately, by sticking true to my own taste and persona, I hope to encourage others to go after what is important to them too.


Get 15% off at my favorite acai bowl and smoothie spot in NYC

By Lu Poteshman

Lu is a rising senior at Northwestern University, where she studies English Literature with a minor in Art, Theory and Practice. She is passionate about all things music and art, and loves to paint, draw, design things, write creatively, cook and explore in her free time. She is currently working towards her dreams of being a book editor by day and DJ by night.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Where to Begin? Navigating Relationships of All Kinds in College

Thursday, June 16th, 2022

So, August is coming to an end, you’re freshly graduated from high school, and you’re getting ready to start this new chapter of your life that everyone’s been hyping up for as long as you can remember: college. You are probably feeling a mixture of emotions about the journey, from excitement to nervousness, to everything else in between. You want to be as prepared as you possibly can, but you don’t know where to start. After all, you’re going to be living on your own independently, likely for the first time in your life.

Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/02z1I7gv4ao

As a current college student who was once this excited and nervous freshman, I think most college students tend to over and under-focus on certain parts of the college process. For example, lots of students focus on the small, logistical parts of independent living. A lot of time and energy is spent on making sure that you brought enough clothes, or that you have the right room decorations to make your room as comfortable as possible. While these things are important, missing one pair of shoes at home is not going to determine the success or failure of your semester. The biggest misconception that college students seem to have involves what living independently really means. Most students seem to think it just means “living by yourself,” but this is not true. If you think about an average high schooler’s routine, all of it can be done without the help of others. Like clockwork, you wake up, go to school, do any after-school activities you may have, get home to have some dinner, do your homework, and then go to sleep. Most of these activities don’t require anyone else but YOU. In that way, college students are already more independent than they think they are, so it’s not just about operating alone. Instead, living on your own means that the structure you took for granted for eighteen years is entirely upended. No one is going to make your dinner when you get home, yell at you for not getting to practice on time, or remind you to finish your schoolwork if you have missing assignments. Living independently is, fundamentally, about you creating a structure for yourself, and sticking to it. 

When this structure that has been in place your whole life is suddenly removed, your life starts to change in unexpected ways. While it’s easier to change the times that you wake up, eat meals, and go to sleep every day, some things are less obvious and even harder to change. One of these changes, perhaps the most important one, lies in your relationships with others. In high school, relationships with your family, friends, and teachers, while potentially challenging, are made very easy to navigate by the time structures created for you. However in college, professors are not available every hour of the school day, and you only see your classmates for a fraction of the time during the week. People are organizing their own clubs and hosting their own parties. This isn’t even mentioning your parents or your old friends which you may have left behind when moving across the country. Simply put, relationships in the real world are not easy, and college is no exception. Much like many things in your childhood, forming and maintaining relationships were likely made easier for you by the structure given to you by others. Forming new and maintaining old relationships can be very difficult if you don’t know what you’re doing. Luckily for you, I’m more than happy to give a few pointers. 

Image Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/eTgMFFzroGc

I’ve had a college experience, starting with a very typical first semester before heading home for a semester online due to COVID-19. After a year filled with COVID restrictions, things started to return to normal by my junior year. In my experience, between masks and Zoom meetings, college as a whole often felt uniquely disconnected and impersonal. And in times like those of a pandemic, personal relationships were more important than ever. Whether you go to Harvard or Cape Cod Community College, any college graduate will tell you that it’s not about the things you do in these four years, it’s about who you do it with. With that in mind, I’m here to share some of my own experiences with you so that your college relationships are the best that they can be, extending beyond the four short years you are given at college. 


Speaking of new beginnings, one of the best things to do when moving to a new place at any point in your life is finding a good place to eat. Smash Burger has a great selection of burgers and shakes for a great night out exploring Boston or for ordering in and sharing with your new college friends. You can get 15% off your order using the coupon below.


By: Lucas Pratt

Lucas Pratt is a senior at Boston College studying Philosophy, English, and Chinese. He enjoys games of all kinds, Dungeons and Dragons, and getting around to finishing the copy of Dune that’s been sitting on his nightstand for months on end. Lucas has decided that the words “employable majors” don’t mean anything to him, and is eagerly seeing where the world takes him in the future.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet✎ EditSign and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services. At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Be Wary of Placing Limits and Expiration Dates on Friendships

Wednesday, October 13th, 2021

The idea for this chapter came to mind as I was talking to one of my good college friends, who happens to be two years older than me, about her experience with friendship “expiration dates.” That was the very first time I had heard anyone describe the all-too-familiar way in which we inadvertently place people and potential friends into very defined and limited categories, steering away from what we see as “expired” (or soon to be expired) relationships. I thought back to all the people I’d met in the last few weeks of middle or high school whom I’d given up on before even getting to know, all because it was simply “too late” (spoiler alert: it really wasn’t). I remembered how I’d labeled people as too cool, too old or too young, or, quite simply, too different to approach.

My friend, whom we’ll call Abby, had come into her freshman year of college with a very similar attitude; that is, until she realized there were only a few weeks left in her first year, and she hadn’t figured out her place in college yet. When she turned to her fellow first-years, they seemed to be in a very similar boat, which is when she realized she needed to change course, and quickly. With graduation looming not so far ahead, these wise, older students would soon fall in the “expired” category. Abby decided that she’d meet each senior student once, if only just to touch base and extract whatever they had to say about their own college experience, and then leave her coffee appointments smarter, wiser and all the better for it. This impromptu, speed-friend-dating escapade of hers, however, would bear very different fruits than she could’ve possibly imagined. It was during what was meant to be nothing more than a one-hour coffee break, Abby told me, that she’d met one of the girls whom she now considered one of her best friends. To this day, they take the time to speak (or text or call) almost every week, keeping themselves in the other’s life via simple but frequent updates. Although the nature of their friendship has made it so that they’re rarely in the same place at the same time, Abby and her friend have learned how to make space for their friendship in their respective lives. And if that isn’t a sign of true friendship, I don’t know what is.  

“Your dream doesn’t have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again.” by katerha is licensed under CC BY 2.0

As Abby shared this with me, I felt like my mind was going a thousand miles a minute. Over the course of my own freshman year, I had experienced first-hand what it felt like to get caught-up in a bunch of “surface” friendships, to be constantly surrounded by people and still feel stranded on my own personal island of loneliness. It was by talking to Abby, however, and after realizing that I had been able to make genuine and long-lasting connections near the end of the year, that I began to see how that feeling had been partially my own fault. From the very beginning, I had come into college with the idea that my first-year friends were something temporary, people that would only last for a certain phase of my life, relationships that I had to form because I hated being alone, and as a result of that, I hadn’t truly given each friend a chance. Because of my fears (of being left behind, of failing to assimilate), I had been in a sort of friendship paralysis, where I focused on making “realistic” friends, and placed people into attainable vs. unattainable categories. In short, I forgot about the fact that behind each friend, there’s a very real and unique human being, who has very real and unique things to bring to my life, even if it’s not always in a way that I’m familiar or already comfortable with. And that’s what made me realize that it’s kind of ridiculous to put an expiration date on people, because no amount of distance, time differences, or personal differences can spoil the type of connection that forms between two people who are dedicated to letting friendship bloom between them.

Main Takeaways (If this chapter evoked something in you that says “Oh yeah, I do that,” or if you’re currently experiencing that weird “not-alone but lonely” stage of life (we’ve all been there), I’d encourage you to do one of two things): 

  • Reach out to that person you’ve been hesitant to hang out with, whether it’s because you think you’re too different, or you don’t see the chance of a long-lasting friendship; you never actually know what can happen unless you try, and worst-case scenario they say no (and you’re right back where you started).
  • Take steps to deepen one of your current relationships by being more intentional with each other; set the standard for a deeper friendship, whether it’s by being more open in communication or changing the usual setting of your relationship. 

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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You’re Not a Mind Reader, and Neither Are Your Friends (Probably)

Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

In my last chapter, I talked about metaphors—now, I’d like to address the irony that lies in many of the processes tied to friendship-building. The greatest, and probably most obvious one is what I’ll call the “You Should Know That” phenomenon. This refers to the all-too-familiar thought process that we all have a tendency to fall into at some point during the friendship-making process, where we start to believe (and expect) that our friends are mind readers, who have the ability to deduce, without being told, everything we need and require of them.

In the early stages of friendship, we are not at risk of falling into this trap. In one of my Communication Studies courses this year, we went over “Uncertainty Reduction Theory”; the idea that at this point in the friendship formation process, the uncertainty in your relationship is at its peak height, and that the focus of all communication efforts is therefore placed on uncertainty reduction. You realize that you have to be explicit and clear about what you mean and need, and you never seem to run out of questions or anecdotes that may draw some piece of information or knowledge out of them that would help you get a better picture of who they are. 

Slowly (but surely), you get more comfortable around your friend, and start to (at times mistakenly) believe that there really isn’t that much you don’t know. Instead of asking them about every single detail of their life, you’re more focused on finding “natural flow”, and start to fill in the gaps of your knowledge about them with assumptions. These assumptions, whether positive or negative, will have a pretty big impact on the way in which your friendship evolved from there. 

In my own personal experience, assumptions such as these led to the deterioration of a friendship which might have otherwise survived. After a couple of weeks of meeting this friend, I had a whole list of assumptions, ready to soothe whatever uncertainties blatantly existed in our relationship; I assumed that when they didn’t respond to my greetings, they were probably listening to music very loud and didn’t want to be disturbed. I assumed that when they stopped telling me everything about their day and weekends, it meant they just needed a little space. I assumed that we were fine, doing good, and that they could see that I was just eager to get to know them better and all I needed was an indication from them that they wanted the same…and I was wrong. This whole time, I had been assuming that they knew what I was thinking, and that I had stopped approaching them as much because I had noticed (or perceived) a slight withdrawal, and taken that to mean that they wanted space. All the while, they had seen my sudden lack of questions and interest in their life as a form of judgement, of disdain and disinterest.

“[ C ] Francis Hyman Criss – Mind reader” by Cea. is licensed under CC BY 2.0

The hard-to-swallow truth is, you (probably) aren’t as good at “reading minds” as you think you are—even your friends’. It’s only natural to start letting assumptions rule your view of others, and it’s true that with a certain amount of time and friendship formation, some things can become more implicit than they previously were. However, it’s also important to remember that no matter how well or how long we get to know someone, we are never truly capable of seeing and understanding how they are feeling, at the very least not without communicating directly with them.

So what can you do? I guess the Golden Rule comes in handy here: treat others the way you want to be treated. It is important to learn to ask for what you need, and to make it clear to your friends that they can do the same with you. If you’re to build a long-lasting and fulfilling friendship, you both need to feel comfortable enough to tell each other how you really feel; you can do that by setting a standard for open and honest communication early in the relationship. Otherwise, you might be missing out on several friendships which you may assume failed out of an incompatibility between the two of you, and not the real, root cause:misunderstandings tied to a lack of clear, direct, and honest communication. 

Main Takeaways: 

  • As we get more comfortable around our friends, we stop relying on verbal communication as much and let our messages become more implicit—this can lead to a lot of misunderstandings and tense moments. 
  • It’s important to remember that feelings don’t always reflect reality;it’s important to talk to your friends about your feelings and learn to ask for the affirmation and confirmation you need from them. This will help you grow in your relationship and set the standard for an honest and long-lasting friendship.

By: Chiara Jurczak

Chiara Jurczak is a second-year student at Northeastern University where she is majoring in Political Science and Communication Studies. She is currently finding new ways to explore her passions for creative writing, publishing and political crises, and hoping to figure it all out sooner rather than later. In her free time, you can find her reading, baking, or trying to talk her friends into going on fun (and at times strange) adventures.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Finding Your People

Saturday, July 8th, 2017

 

My friend Paris and I chilling in my dorm after a photoshoot.

My friend Paris and I chilling in my dorm after a photoshoot.

College undoubtedly brings change. Life before college is largely different from life in higher education.  Post-secondary education brings a new set of challenges that provide opportunity for personal growth and emergence into the adult world. Though many challenges exist for the incoming college student, my primary focus is the examination of relationships in college, as I have a great deal of experience in this area. And while I cannot speak to the experiences of all students in college, I do know that my account of navigating relationships during my first year at NYU can provide useful reference for any college student.

Before I went to New York City for college, I lived in a place called Snellville, Georgia. Growing up in Georgia, I had a hard time finding friends with whom I could have meaningful conversations. Most of the friends I made in Georgia were formed more out of circumstance than choice, since I was more concerned about fitting in socially than finding friends that would help me develop as a person. As a result, I had a lot of different friends before college, but very few seemed to excite and invigorate in the way I desired.

By contrast, the friends I made after moving to New York City are some of the most interesting and special people I have met in my entire life. While they are all different from me in some ways, all my closest friends in New York City have a common passion for taking advantage of the opportunities life offers and an eagerness to delve beyond surface-level conversations. How did I find these people? I simply made the decision to choose my friends based on who excited me, as opposed to letting friendships develop merely out of coincidence. Whenever I met someone who excited me, I did everything in my power to develop a friendship with them.  Still, sometimes, the ones who excited me were also the ones who intimidated me. It took some courage to approach and pursue friendships with people who intimidated me, but the people who intimidated me were intimidating because they possessed something that I did not have or understand. To access the immense value of such people, I dedicated myself to not let fear get in the way of forming life-changing friendships.

To solidify the friendships I desired, I made sure to show a genuine interest in those whom I wanted to know more closely. I took time out of my schedule to adventure the city with newfound friends and let them know why they mattered to me. In doing so, I showed them why I should matter in their lives, as my investment in them indicated that I could be there in whatever supportive capacity they may need in the future. So, as I let new friends into my life, I spoke into their lives, representing my honest self, since I did not want to make friends with those who did not accept me for who I am.

To solidify such friendships, I had to make emotional room for my friends to influence my life. Indeed, it is quite a scary thing to be so emotionally vulnerable to other people.  In some cases, a few people with whom I shared my vulnerabilities used those vulnerabilities to hurt me later down the road.  However, such negative experiences should not dampen the pursuit of deep and honest communication with others. Rather, the negative experiences were a means to inform me of the signs that indicate a disloyal friend.

At the end of the day, I know that I’m not perfect. I need other people around me to open my eyes to different perspectives about the world, and my place in it. Every person is limited in their capacity to understand life. Yet, by sharing friendships with tremendous people, one can get a glimpse into a larger world of possibility and have support through times of hardship. After finding my closest friends, my squad, I noticed that an incredible burden had been lifted off my shoulders. Before finding my people, college frightened me. The start of college marked the first time in my life that I had to independently endure responsibility. After creating meaningful friendships though, I have taken immense comfort in knowing that I have a family in college with whom I can experience anything and find encouragement.

By Matthew Evert

Matthew Evert is a Campus Clipper publishing intern who is studying English and Philosophy as a sophomore at NYU. Passionate about poetry, people, and adventure, Matthew aspires to live an explorative and artistic life. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services. 

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

 

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How To Make Friends

Tuesday, June 13th, 2017

 

Image Credit: www.instagram.com/thecarolineflynn/

Image Credit: www.instagram.com/thecarolineflynn/

 

You’ve done it. You’ve mastered eating at the dining hall alone, finding your way around without relying on other people, and taking your own notes in class and remembering all the homework. You don’t just walk through the city streets with a confident and independent air, you jaywalk out into the open road, fearlessly taking on whatever the taxicabs have coming. And now, it’s time. Time for the next step. Time to text the classmate you’ve been crushing on in Writing for College. Time to tell your roommates you actually hate their friends and this weekend you’ll make your own plans. Time to put down the high school group message and talk to your budding friends here face-to-face.

I know it’s not easy. Thankfully, most people show up to college for the first time in the same boat as you, knowing practically no one. If you can keep this in mind, then you are on your way to creating some of the best and longest lasting friendships you’ve ever had. Here are a few more tips to get you started.

 

1. Choose Your Victim

I know you know exactly who you’d be best friends with if you could. The dream friend. That person in class who says what you’re thinking. When they DJ at a party your playlists are specifically similar. And what’s that? They also plan their meals around which dining hall is offering the most carbs? Wow. A match made in heaven. Be careful, though. Sometimes you think your victim friend will be this one person and it turns out you just have a huge girl crush on them and you will never actually see yourself on their level. This will be fun but will not work out (totally not speaking from experience…). Or maybe you think your victim might as well be that kid you had lunch with a few times when no one else was free. NO. Go for gold. Friends are important people and you must be extremely picky when choosing a victim. (But remember, be extremely nice. To everyone. Regardless of their friend-level to you. And also be nice to yourself when choosing your friends.)

 

2. The Millennial Step

25 years ago when your parents were in school they would have to skip straight to Step 3. Luckily, we have more options. Once you have your victim, stalk them thoroughly on every social media account they own. Make careful note of your mutual friends on Facebook. If their Instagram is blocked, talk to them about something trivial in class for long enough so that when you request to follow them 3 hours and 41 minutes later it seems totally casual. During this same conversation, it’s vital that you also get their Snapchat and phone number. This way you can see who your competition is and when they are alone or have no plans. This is when you will strike.

(You can of course skip this step if you think social media, oversharing, and instant access to information are ruining our generation’s communication skills along with much of the world.)

 

3. Make Plans

Ok, so you’ve laid all the ground work. Now it’s time to make your move. Invite your Best-Friend-To-Be to a casual lunch or late night snack. And much like dating, be prepared to ask them about themselves! Get them talking and your conversation will run all night long. If you need some icebreakers, here are a few to get you started.

  • A time you got lost in NYC/the subway broke down/Uber failed you
  • Your recent Netflix Binge
  • Any story about a bad Ex
  • Any story about a bad roommate

 

4. Sunlight & Water

Congratulations! You put yourself out there! Call your Mom, give yourself a high five, and continue to cultivate this new connection. Try some cool restaurants in the area, go to a museum, treat yourself to the spa, and above all use your Campus Clipper coupons to save you and your new friend money. Suddenly, New York City won’t seem quite as big with someone who is equally as lost as you by your side. And you’ll find that as you begin to get one good friendship under your belt, others will fall into place too.

 

Where are you going to go with these new friends? Well you could try the Brazen Fox, a great restaurant right near Union Square serving delicious American Fare and cold drinks. This two story restaurant is charming and well-priced with some cool wall décor you’ll want to see for yourself.  And don’t forget to use your Campus Clipper Coupon and get 10% off of your meal!

Image Credit: campusclipper.com

Image Credit: campusclipper.com

 


 

By Caroline Flynn

Caroline Flynn is a Sales and Publishing Intern at the Campus Clipper studying Theatre at NYU Tisch. Caroline is passionate about the arts and dedicated to using her voice to make other people smile. As she heads into her Junior year, she is excited to be writing about how relationships have shaped her life while she takes on summer in the city for the first time. 

We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 

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The Never Ending Joys of Roommates

Tuesday, February 4th, 2014

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Serrana Gay

Roommates. We all have them, and if you haven’t had one yet, chances are you will at some point. Whether your roommate is your best friend or someone you met a week ago at orientation, living with people is always a challenge.

I have lived with a whole cast of colorful characters: boyfriends, best friends, strangers, and strangers who have become friends. Each relationship has had its ups and downs and each relationship has taught me something different. But time and time again I always come back to the same thing: COMMUNICATION. Without it any relationship is destined to fail.

During my last year of college I fought with my best friend over who was going to vacuum the living room. We didn’t speak for a week. One comment from me led to a dismissal from her, which grew into a text message war, which exploded into a screaming argument and then total silence–endless, dragging silence. Days and days of silence.

Then one day I had an epiphany, a forehead slap moment. The reason we weren’t resolving anything was because we weren’t speaking. We had gotten into a vicious circle of non-communication.  Of course, I thought. We were never going to fix anything if we didn’t speak.

That very afternoon I apologized. I told her I was upset because I felt like I was the only one that ever cleaned, and that I realized that I  had played a part in making her upset. She said she felt like I was mothering her. We hugged and by the end of the conversation, we were laughing at our own stupidity.

What I took away from this experience is that 1) nine times out of ten, conflicts arise from misunderstanding or things left unsaid, and 2) it is better to confront things head-on than to stay mad.

I know this seems a little too easy, and that sometimes talking about your feelings can be difficult. But take it from someone who knows, without communication all relationships are doomed to fail.  As life coach Tony Robbins so aptly puts it, “To effectively communicate we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”

So I put it to you, dear readers, to be the different ones. Take up the challenge and share how you are feeling. Communicate. You will be surprised at how much more easily you will coexist with those you share the world with. And you just might find that the way you treat people will start to shape who you become, the person you are.

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