Archive for the ‘onValues’ Category

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Connecting and Disconnecting

Thursday, October 17th, 2024

I’m the king of FOMO, so I’ve been told. I say yes to practically everything, and I do what I think people want me to do. I’ve been trying to work on being realistic about how well my social battery is doing and how I’ll feel after a long night out; my battery drains pretty quickly, after all. My girlfriend always uses this analogy called “spoon theory.” How many spoons are you able to fill with the feelings and thoughts of other people before you overflow? You can only hold so much at the same time, after all. 

Whether it’s for your social life, school, or your job, you’re expected to be on-call almost constantly. You’re expected to be accessible to the outside world, even in the safety of your home. That’s the downside to modernity. Well, one of them. Not to get deep here. I think about it a lot, though. How different these times are to any other time on Earth. In my bed I get email notifications on my phone, group chat messages on five different apps, and reminders and notifications clouding up my lockscreen. It can be overwhelming being expected to answer to so many people all the time. 

Being exposed to so many people’s lives and thoughts at the same time can be overwhelming. I mean think about it—we humans know so many people nowadays, and are able to keep up with the people we’ve known throughout our whole lives with the tap of a finger. People I haven’t spoken to in years, or ever, still like my instagram posts. I always think, “Is it meant to be like this? Is this good?” I guess there’s no point in asking this question, since it’s just how things are.

Time off my phone and social media helps me stay sane. But on the other side, being able to connect with people is a part of life that’s so utterly essential. My phone undeniably makes that easier. It’s easier for me to keep up with my friends who’ve moved away, my parents after I moved out, and my girlfriend when I studied abroad. Every so often I call my friends who are living in LA to catch up. Being able to keep that relationship despite how many miles are between us is something that’s new to modern times, and is wonderful. 

A picture I took on a solo stroll down Commonwealth Ave in Boston

There’s pressure to constantly socialize in college especially. In that first year, there were times where I wouldn’t leave a friend’s room all day, and to be totally honest it’s because I thought that I had to do that. I started feeling drained, like I was losing who I really was to who I was around other people. Constantly putting on a performance without any time to rest, I felt pressure to attend everything I was invited to, even if it felt like a huge hurdle to overcome. There’s this fear of falling behind socially that happens no matter what kind of relationship it is. You don’t want to miss out on important parts of your life, after all. That’s how I felt. I’d never again be right down the hall from my best friends, so I had to make the most of it.

Simply put, that was stupid. I was exhausted and lost myself that year. So here’s my advice to you: deal with the FOMO! It won’t kill you. Lately I’ve been telling myself that. I’ve been skipping parties I don’t feel mentally ready to go to, taking time to walk around the city, and enjoying life all by myself just because I can. A little walk to get a coffee can make or break a day.

Even when I desperately want to attend something because I think it might be fun, I have to be realistic about my expectations. Will I really enjoy it? Are my spoons overflowing? 

I’ve been trying to focus on what makes me happy and keeping my priorities straight, because I’ve realized that that is what helps me maintain my relationships. If other people know my limits and are okay with them—well, that’s important in a friend, isn’t it?

Drop by Blick to get a student discount on art materials!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Why Letting Go is Essential

Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

There is something to be said about nostalgia. It’s a quiet perfume. Soft and sweet. Then, all of a sudden, stale and putrid. 

Every week, I sit in the common room with friends. I hear their laughter, teasing jokes, and lively discussions. When I look at them, ghosts pop out at me. Are they genuine, or like those I have been hurt by? I count their differences. I count their similarities. I take note. I crease the page of this memory, reminding myself to return to it later. I analyze it with a new lens, a new focus. Instead of being present, I am half stuck in the past, looking to confirm my fears, looking for that familiarity that I understand. 

Whether nostalgia or something stronger, the grasp the past holds on me leaves me constantly unfulfilled. I have always felt life was meant to be so much more than how it has been. That life is meant to be filled with adventures and sickeningly soft moments; if I am to do this thing called life, then why should it be just mediocre? 

Being stuck in the past prevents us from enjoying present experiences and having a fulfilled happy life. So how do we be more present? 

Everyone always asks me why I like rainy days. And I think: why should I enjoy a day any less just because it is raining? If anything it is an excuse to enjoy the small things in life (puddles and coffee!) all the more.

Step One: Let Go

When we consistently look towards the past and are reminded of it in negative ways that detract from our present experiences, we must first acknowledge and accept where we are. Often, I feel so much time has passed that I cannot truly still be affected by those things. But, ignoring the fact that I am indeed still affected by those things only hinders my healing. 

In this past year, I have tried to release my grip on the past. It has been hard. My therapist made me sit with myself and ask myself questions. She sat there in silent encouragement while I looked inward. I asked myself: why am I resistant to letting these memories go? I waited and eventually, I learned that to me, letting go of the experiences was almost like I was losing those people again and again. I queried further and with each response, I felt understanding. I granted myself self-compassion and  I was able to remove some of my resistance to moving forward. 

I then took the conscious steps forward to let go; this heavily focused on emotional release. When the past knocked on my door, I did not turn it away, nor did I openly embrace it, letting it consume me. Instead, I stared at it straight in the face, without judgment, and grieved. This emotional release alleviated much of the past’s control. 

In a similar fashion, when triggered, bringing up much more complex emotions regarding the past, I had to make space for my emotional release: to journal, to cry, to grieve, to be angry, and to surrender to the emotional wave, but to not to let it consume me. One way is through grounding techniques: breath work, tensing and releasing each muscle individually, planting feet on the floor, or spending some time alone in nature or with someone or something I love. After the wave crashes, I look towards my values, needs, and wants, so I may consciously make a decision that reflects myself and not my past and fears. 

Graphics from the T

Step Two: Be Present 

Life can be consistently overwhelming. There are to-do lists, pressures to be extraordinary, a desire to be perfect, and of course the dread of time. These things will likely always be there. So, to be present and enjoy life, the key is appreciating life for what it is. 

In her book, “Everything Beautiful,” Ella Frances Sanders writes: “There is almost always reassurance and meaning to be found in the smallest of things, in the smallest of beauties.” Sanders describes how appreciating the smallest things in life can bring comfort, and quiet serenity in the most overwhelming of moments. 

The squirrels always make my day!

After reading this book I set myself a challenge. Every day I would find at least one thing to find beauty in. I specifically mean the beauty of life and humanity. Sometimes this is the squirrels kneading the grass with their small paws, or an elderly couple walking through the park, or just the consistent sound of city-goers experiencing their lives in such a tight space that we are at once together and apart. 

Appreciating beauty in all its forms allows me to surrender to the present moment and find fulfillment even in the smallest things, and even during overwhelming times. This practice softens the creases in my heart and eases my worries about the future. Because even if everything is uncertain, there is always this: the beauty of life. 

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Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Dear No One: Letters That Stay Unsent

Monday, October 7th, 2024

I’ve written a fair share of letters in my day. It’s the romantic in me who feels written words, those that are so exquisitely accurate in their portrayal of love and loss, are the pinnacle of my existence. If I love someone, I have to write to them; it’s instinctive. This doesn’t mean, however, that I send all or even the majority of the letters I write. That is the coward in me, too afraid people will hold me to the words I write at a specific moment in time, too embarrassed to have a crowd of recipients holding physical evidence of my admiration for them.

As a general rule, the best course of action for most situations is to be honest and share your feelings with others. If you love them, admire them, miss them, are happy for them, or want to let them know you’re thinking of them, then, by all means, send them a letter! As long as you are not hurting anyone by sending this letter, there is no reason to be ashamed of your feelings. More importantly, you could make someone’s day. For me, nothing is more touching than receiving a handwritten letter from someone I care about. When I die, bury me in a coffin full of all the letters written to me.

Sometimes I do work at Emerson, sometimes I take a whole meeting room to myself and take selfies in the sunlight. First come, first serve.

A different truth is, of course, that life goes on. People hurt one another, lose touch, or slowly fade into the background of one’s existence. Things are constantly fluctuating, changing in ways we can’t prepare for. We are so busy! Work, school, internships; new friends, new subway lines, new bars; a big love, a big house, a big quarter-life crisis. Our minds are often scrambled, just trying to get through the motions of everyday life and enjoy it as it comes. Then, it creeps up on you, that random Friday afternoon. You hear a song you haven’t heard in a while, and it brings you back to a few years ago. Time freezes as you relive a life that you are so far removed from you wonder if it was ever even yours. Now, you’ve found yourself missing people you shouldn’t, realizing the window of opportunity to reach out has long passed, rightfully so. You’re flooded with nostalgia, rose-colored and inflated. Pouring your heart and soul out to them now would be more than wrong. 

Alexa, play ‘Bad Idea, Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo. Let this be a call to all the dewy-eyed girlies: Do NOT listen to that voice in your head telling you to make a harmless phone call to people who’ve hurt you. You have an alternative, and while it may not be as riveting of a story to tell at the cute cocktail spill-all, it is the healthier thing to do. The past is in the past, and you will never get it back, nor should you want to! More importantly, you are not the person you once were, and that is a good thing. Understand, too, that sometimes it is simply fun to reminisce, to repaint the past with the fresh perspective of a refined frontal lobe, but that doesn’t mean you should run with your naivety, expecting a new rendition of your past to become your reality.

A photo I took of two kids hanging out in Seaport, 2022.

Such circumstances as these are the perfect times to write a letter that is purposefully intended to not be sent anywhere. You can say everything you want to say, feel everything you want to feel, and simply tear it up (or burn it, which is thrilling!) when you’re done reading it over. There’s no regret, no embarrassment, no hurting others by bringing unsolicited memories back into fruition, and no risking your current peace. This is your chance to leave the “But What If?” to die. 

That being said, my favorite place to write letters I’ll never send is in my journal. Sometimes I will rip the pages out, crumble them, and toss them in the recycling bin. Other times I will leave them in my journal to look back on. I have also burned a few. Occasionally, I type them up and pretend I’m Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail, but I usually just put a lock on the document until I feel I’ve outgrown whatever  I wrote down, and then I trash it. I’ve even dropped a few letters in the mailbox with no return or send address. One, I’m not proud of is when I sent a letter down a river, which was environmentally careless, but I was desperate for some kind of cinematic, main character energy to justify my emotions (Ah, to be 18 again). Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where you write your letter or in what way you discard it afterward. As long as you get the cathartic release you need, you’ve done yourself some good, and you should be proud.

Get arts and crafty this fall and save 10% at Blick with a student account!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.

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How the past can hold you back

Monday, October 7th, 2024

Over the past six weeks of college, there is one truth I’ve come to realize: I am not the person I thought I was.

During orientation, I met someone—someone great. They are sweet, gentle, smart, funny, and self-aware. But, with each touch, whispered word, and boisterous laughter, I find myself stuck. I am halfway down the cliff and yet tethered to the top by a long painful rope. It extends and extends into my past, to the place I’ve struggled to reconcile for the better part of my adult life. 

I wish to cut the rope and take the plunge, but I dangle. My hands tug and tug, but the tether won’t budge. Somehow, struggling only tightens it: each string that makes up the rope ties to a memory. Just touching one causes me to get tangled in my emotions. That is the deal with trauma; sometimes you get lost in the mix. 

Now, I find myself in a constant struggle between where I am and where I want to be—a constant fight between letting the rope pull me farther and farther back into the past, or slowly letting each string weaken so their hold on me loosens and breaks altogether. 

A daily walk through the park for mindfulness practice!

Unprocessed feelings can never really be suppressed. They will always find ways to pop up again. If we want to live the life we dream of, the key is letting go. We can not let the past hold us back. 

  1. Recognize the need for support: when we feel persistent emotions like anxiety, panic, sadness, or fear, it is a clear sign that we need more support. We may also have trouble concentrating, have a desire to isolate, or have unexplained physical symptoms like chronic fatigue or headaches. Friends, family, partners, and especially therapists are great outlets that can help us ride the wave of our emotions, and find resolution within ourselves. 
  2. Use strategies to break free from the past: Everyone has a strategy that works best for them. Journaling, mindfulness meditations, creative hobbies, boundaries, therapy (talk, EMDR, brain spotting, or otherwise), or just practicing self-compassion are all great ways to let go of the past. 

Throughout my journey, I have gotten support through therapy, friends, family, and through all of the strategies listed. They have all helped me make sense of my truth amidst all the confusing feelings. 

However, sometimes we cannot change because we are simply so stuck in the past that we don’t know how else to be. We feel as though life is happening to us; we are just a cog in the machine—a robot going through the machinations of life. How do we snap out of it? 

The leaves are changing! I am so excited!

When I was in my teens, I felt I was never truly conscious. I went to school. I dated. I made friends, but I was not deliberate with my life. Then, I stumbled across a podcast: The Self Healers Soundboard by The Holistic Psychologist. In the third episode titled: Chapter 2: The Conscious Self: Becoming Aware, Dr. Nicole LePera and Co-host Jenna Weakland describe different strategies to become more conscious. One of the practical tools Dr. Nicole LePera discusses is the “consciousness check-in.” A consciousness check-in is when we stop and observe our thoughts, our feelings, and our body. We can set an alarm on our phone for a certain time of day, to consistently check in and remind ourselves to be conscious of what we are thinking about and how we are feeling. 

The podcast was extremely helpful for me as I put their wisdom to practice. My next step, however, was identifying my values. I value communication, honesty, and self-concordance. With these values in mind, and having achieved a higher level of awareness (than I previously had), I was able to live life more deliberately. 

So, on this journey, when I am stuck between the past and where I want to be, I check in with myself and my values. I figure out my triggers and ride the wave of my emotions. One thing is for sure: I have to let the threads of my past slip away, so I can take on the here and now and finally be who I want to be. 

Hobbies are a great way to unleash your creative side and express your emotions! Students save 10% off when they sign up for a preferred customer account at BLICK!

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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Intentionality as a Young Adult: Creative Ways To Make Money

Friday, October 4th, 2024

When looking for internships for this summer, I stumbled across Spoon University, a blog run through the organization Her Campus, that aims to make food content written by college students for college students. If you’ve been keeping up with the rest of my chapters, you’ll know that this is quite literally my dream gig. I applied, thrilled that there was something out there so uniquely up my alley. Due to my passion for food, I got the internship. Even though it’s now over, I still write with them to this day, getting to cover some of the most exciting food releases and restaurants. 

This was a paid position, and I was also sent food regularly for review. However, this wouldn’t have been possible for me to achieve without marketing my skills. If you would like to do the same, don’t worry — that’s what I’m here to tell you how to do!

When applying to Spoon, I went on a very common rant that I would give my friends — my opinions on the Dunkin’ Spring 2024 menu. From my interview, I gathered that this had definitely made me stand out from the competition. So my first piece of advice is to do your research! Within your specific passion, find niche topics that you know you can consistently talk about and feel like you’re well-educated on. If you only passively enjoy something and don’t have developed opinions on it, maybe it’s not the right passion for you to try and make money from. You want to be able to call yourself an expert on this thing and mean it!

Picture I took of myself trying TikTok’s viral fluffy coke for Spoon University this summer. 

Another example of a creative way I’ve made money is through music reviews. I had been writing for music blogs through my college for the past few years, until I found a website called EveryDejaVu. As a student who attends college in Boston for the majority of the year, I found out about this publication through many of the local artists I had written about. This leads to my next recommendation, which is don’t be afraid of reaching out to smaller organizations within your community! Just because it’s a smaller organization doesn’t mean they don’t have funding, and big-name brands certainly aren’t everything. 

When you’re applying to jobs and especially internships, it can be very tempting to only apply to places you’ve already heard of before and admire. But some of the best places I’ve worked have been companies I’ve only found because I’ve been applying. These businesses tend to place a much bigger focus on work-life balance, and can even sometimes pay better than working for a bigger name. 

I also really recommend leaning fully into your interest of choice. Don’t be afraid of doing work just because you like it, without the promise of money at the end! I tend to go to a lot of both in-person and virtual writing events, like writing workshops. Through these, I’ve been able to get writing gigs just through the power of networking. For years, I had served as a reader for multiple literary magazines pro bono, just learning how they worked. But after rubbing elbows with the right people and expressing my true passion for this field, I’ve gotten jobs as a judge in writing contests, an opportunity that has paid up to $50 per contest! When you find the right people to share your passions with, amazing things can happen. 

Ultimately, these probably won’t become your full source of income. Especially at the beginning, it may take a while to actually make money this way. But I do find these options significantly more heartfelt than the often soulless get-rich-quick schemes like filling out surveys for hours on end, to only receive maybe $10 by the end of it. I especially think these can be great options for college students who often fill their free time with extracurriculars anyway. These are just like that, but with the potential of a surprising amount of extra cash!  

When you make that extra money, this is a great place to spend it! Especially with this 20% off coupon, that you just have to bring to the store along with your Student ID.

By Izzy Astuto

Izzy Astuto (he/they) is a writer currently majoring in Creative Writing at Emerson College, with a specific interest in screenwriting. His work has previously been published by Hearth and Coffin, Sage Cigarettes, and The Gorko Gazette, amongst others. He is currently a reader for journals such as PRISM international and Alien Magazine. You can find more of their work on their website, at https://izzyastuto.weebly.com/. Their Instagram is izzyastuto2.0 and Twitter is adivine_tragedy. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Right and Wrong and In-The-Middle

Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

When I was younger—like elementary-school-age—I was always the most talkative person in the room. When I tell people that nowaday, they think it’s the funniest thing in the world since I’m so different, but it’s just how I was! I loved making my thoughts known and letting the world know who I was. It didn’t always work out in my favor, though. 

I remember this one soccer practice where I tried to play along with a joke another group was making. All I got was three pairs of eyes staring at me, and someone muttering something like “what was that?” Whatever, kids are mean. I was too, probably. What I’ve realized over time is that people are capable of changing, and that holding grudges only makes things worse for yourself. 

Miscommunication was always my issue. Everyone miscommunicates sometimes, but for me it felt like the end of the world every time it happened. Like I’d failed the most basic part of life. I’d always  say things and get misunderstood, or my words would come out wrong but I wouldn’t always realize. When I did realize it sent me into great distress. Spoken words seem to fail me when they matter most. That still holds true now.  

Me!

When I was about twelve I realized I wasn’t being received how I wanted to be, and I made an effort to close myself off, quiet down a bit. To put it simply, the goal was to be liked. I think maturing and growing up a little in college (and hopefully more in the future too) is realizing that it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, or to even get along with everyone. Making such a huge effort to be liked is just not worth it. It’s exhausting. I’d bend over backwards and shape myself into an entirely different person to try to get through the day. I’ve tried to figure out the solution to the problem of communication—or conversation—but I think there isn’t a clear-cut solution. Everyone’s different; everyone wants different things. I’m still quiet and a bit careful with my words, but I’m trying to find that balance. To be a bit more free to express myself. 

I was always told college is where you meet your “lifelong friends,” so when I first entered college and didn’t immediately click with someone I took it as a personal failure. There’s so much pressure in that first week, you forget you still have the rest of those four years to get through. 

I think there’s no right or wrong answer to when you meet your lifelong friends. And there’s also no right or wrong answer to who will, or can, be your friend. But if you continue to put in an effort, any friendship can last a long time. I mean, there’s been friendships I’ve let go of for this reason or that, but I do feel like there’s certain people I can see after a year and it still feels the same as it always did. That type of friendship is precious. It’s a fragile thing that requires love and effort that you have to be willing to give. 

It was difficult, but eventually I found my people. You can’t force things like that. If you force them they fall apart, which is what a lot of us learn in our first years at college. 

I started to understand what I look for in a friend as I spent time in different circles, floating around. People came into my life and left it. Life is an endless cycle of “hellos” and “goodbyes.” 

Relationships are the most confusing but the most rewarding thing in the world. 

Do you love boba like I do? Enjoy this buy 1 get 1 free deal at Kung Fu Tea with a student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Time to go

Tuesday, October 1st, 2024

When I was fifteen, my mom told me one of the most horrific things: Sometimes, you need to hit rock bottom before you can leave a relationship. Unfortunately, she was right. I stayed with my partner longer than I should have and allowed more than was right. A year later, I left. 

Hitting rock bottom is something I never wanted to do; but, I waited, ignoring all the signs that said to leave until I couldn’t anymore. When people ask me why I stayed so long, I try to think of the simplest answer. Sometimes I respond with: “Well, I thought he’d change.” Other times I think about the good moments that made it so hard to leave in the first place: the kisses, the promises, the laughter. 

Good moments are necessary in relationships, but in a toxic one, they are a tether—the shackles that keep you compliant. I dwelled on those good moments. I soaked up his promises. I basked in his laughter… I still remember my fifteenth birthday. The surprise parties (yes, two!) he planned; the ice cream cake he bought, which had no cake in it; and the scavenger hunt for presents. Those memories are still deeply planted in me five years later. Now that time has moved on, though, I don’t remember as many good memories between us. What I do remember, however, is the crying, arguing, and constant confusion. 

Puppy I met in Boston Gardens!

It isn’t healthy to wait until rock bottom. We endure more than we should, and we are likely to feel the effects even years later. So, how do we stop ignoring the signs of all our toxic relationships and finally let them go?

Sometimes the signs are clear: emotional disconnect, unhappiness, loss of trust, lack of respect, inability to communicate, different values or life goals, inability to grow, or just an innate sense of knowing. Other times, the signs are more complex, such as constant confusion, repulsion, or other physical symptoms. 

It is hard to broach these topics, to look at the people we care about and know that we should go our separate ways. It takes courage. So, how do we take those steps? 

  1. Admitting that something isn’t working in the relationship.
  2. Acknowledging that we’d like to let the relationship go.
  3. Understanding fear is natural: it’s okay to be scared, but we can’t let fear inhibit us from moving forward. 
  4. Shifting focus: instead of focusing on the good moments we may be losing, focus on the good that is to come. 
  5. Planning: it is always good to have a clear plan about how we want to communicate with the other person. A good place to start is to reflect on personal values. Do you value honesty? Do you value communication? Also, is it safe to communicate the truth or at all? All of these components should help you reflect on the best path forward. 
  6. Seek support: talk with people who care about you. This can be friends, family, a partner, or a therapist. Overall, sharing your feelings and concerns can help make you feel less alone and add the necessary support needed to take the next steps. 
  7. Practicing self-care: take care of your health—physical and mental. Through emotional upheaval, your body may be more tired or hungry; be sure to fuel your body appropriately and be compassionate with yourself. 
  8. Communicate: the biggest step to take is to let the other person know your decision. As mentioned, reflecting on personal values can help stitch together a good plan. Communication can be hard, so be patient with yourself. 
On a date with someone new!

It is normal and difficult to leave relationships when they don’t fit anymore. I was young when I entered into my aforementioned relationship. Maybe this impacted my staying—him being my first love and high school sweetheart. It was incredibly difficult to leave; but, at the end of the day, I knew when it was time to go. 

Now, he is just another person in my story, and I am just another person in his; we are both better for it. He is dating someone new and accomplishing his dreams. And I am bolder, freer, brighter. I lift up my arms and embrace this new city with the love of a child coming home—becoming the person I wanted to be all along. Letting go takes courage, but it is definitely worth it. 

Cafe Landwer is a great place to study, plan, or enjoy coffee and a sweet treat! Use code LANDWERSTUDENT to get $10 off your mobile order!

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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The Emotional Support Journal

Monday, September 30th, 2024

If you know me, you know I rarely leave the house without my journal. There was a time when I used to be terrified to bring it to work and school; I’d imagine someone mischievously poking through my bag and finding it, proceeding to read it aloud to a derisive room of people who would point and laugh at me—the usual. I was so afraid of anyone knowing what went on inside my head (there’s a LOT). However, once I realized that journaling gave me emotional clarity and stress relief, I found it hard not to bring my journal places. What if I feel anxious on the train when the crazy, shoeless man talks about Democrats being Salem witches reincarnated? Eventually, my journal dependence reached a point that outweighed my paranoia. Now, it is my little companion. 

Apple trees from my trip to Lookout Farm, a highlight of the weekend and a must-visit for all Boston Students!

If you were to open my journal, you’d see a lot of cursive-slob handwriting, dates, time stamps, bullet points, agendas, geometric doodles, coffee stains, and the most frequent words: “I feel.” I am constantly writing how I feel in my journal, and often I am writing how I feel when I don’t feel so good. I write the most when I am anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated, irritated, hormonal, sick, in despair, having a panic attack, or just tired. Sometimes I write tens of pages at a time if I am really going through it. When I finish journaling, the feelings I have just poured out onto paper often change to some degree: I feel less of them—that is the beauty of journaling. It’s like talking something out with a friend and finding comfort in the fact that every feeling, awful or wonderful, is temporary. 

For anxious overthinkers like myself, life can become overwhelming very quickly. Sometimes, all it takes is one extra piece of information, one extra task, one extra event in the day, and everything suddenly goes from somewhat manageable to: “Wait, let’s just all be quiet and take a break before I start to cry, please.” Personally, I find I get anxious when I don’t have enough time to process information, or I don’t have enough information in general. Journaling helps me both process information and brainstorm information, which makes me feel like I have a little more control over my situation. 

This morning, I journaled at 5:00 a.m. This is not a normal occurrence, but I just so happened to be wide awake, with various stressors and details of the day flashing before my eyes. You know that feeling when all your responsibilities are jumbling around in your brain, seemingly growing in size by the second? I got up, washed my face, put some clothes on, and sat back down in bed. I took out my journal and started to unfold all the events I had today, tomorrow, and this weekend. I also wrote about the feelings that came up for me when I thought about these things. “I’m anxious because I’ll have five days in a row of being mentally ‘on’ for twelve plus consecutive hours, and I just want to be able to manage everything but also have a moment to relax.” Insert dramatic sigh. Sometimes there is no direct solution, but by writing this I realized I needed to take this week day-by-day, even hour-by-hour, and focus on being present rather than looking at the week as a whole, which is much more overwhelming.

A photo I took of the Red Sox against the Tampa Bay Rays on Friday night at Fenway.

A Joan Didion quote about journaling I have always resonated with, for better or for worse, is the following:

“The impulse to write things down is a peculiarly compulsive one, inexplicable to those who do not share it, useful only accidentally, only secondarily, in the way that any compulsion tries to justify itself. I suppose that it begins or does not begin in the cradle. Although I have felt compelled to write things down since I was five years old, I doubt that my daughter ever will, for she is a singularly blessed and accepting child, delighted with life exactly as life presents itself to her, unafraid to go to sleep and unafraid to wake up. Keepers of private notebooks are a different breed altogether, lonely and resistant rearrangers of things, anxious malcontents, children afflicted apparently at birth with some presentiment of loss.”

The most wondrous thing about journaling is that it may not solve your problems, but it can help you look after yourself. It is especially useful if you are one who tends to get swept up in the incomprehensibility of what is seemingly ordinary to everyone else. 

Let cuffing season commence! Boston students, get a Student Wax Pass from European Wax Center!

Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.


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Intentionality as a Young Adult: Identifying What You Find Valuable

Friday, September 27th, 2024

I originally went into college as a Political Communications major, my school’s version of Political Science. I had always been very passionate about politics and thought the best way to utilize this interest was to go into the political field directly. Maybe become a lawyer, or even run for office one day! About a month into college, though, I realized there was no way I could continue with this as my full-time job. It stressed me out way too much, and I could feel my mental health beginning to decline in the worst way. I also go to a very creative college, and I looked around at all my peers, many of whom were following their creative passions, and felt jealous that my whole life wasn’t the one thing I’ve always loved above all else — writing. So after my first semester, I ended up changing my major to Creative Writing. 

I don’t start off with this story to tell anyone that going into a creative field is definitely the right thing for them. On the contrary — going into a creative field has its downsides too. The study “Creative Burnout: Suffocating The Future of Design” by Kayla Roles discusses in depth how creative individuals who make their passion their whole life can experience a type of burnout that prevents them from finding joy in their art.

(Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-sitting-on-bed-with-flying-books-yHG6llFLjS0)

I tell this story instead to demonstrate how I began to identify the things I find valuable in my life. While I care deeply about politics, I also value my mental health. And above most other things, I value my creativity, and having avenues to explore it in my day-to-day life; hence why I wanted to study it full time.

But how do you truly identify what you find valuable? You may have a vast array of interests and, as I mentioned in the previous chapter, experience a choice paralysis in determining which are the most important to you. I have a series of questions I tend to ask myself when deciding if I should pursue something new. First, what are the things I find myself gravitating towards the most often? What do I spend the most time thinking about? For me, one of these things, whether it was negative or positive, was food. Even if I was anxious about my food consumption, it was ultimately because I’ve always enjoyed food so much. 

Like in the case of Political Communications, I also always ask if this is something I can actually see myself doing. While you may have certain passions, not all of them are realistic with our lifestyles or personalities. I also have a vested interest in sea creatures, but I don’t think it’s realistic with my current education or location to try and become a marine biologist. 

Lastly, if something is truly valuable to you, it will also add value to your life. Like with the food example, you may really enjoy specifically fast food. However, if you’re just eating fast food all the time, that isn’t going to be particularly positive for your body. You can always reshape this into something more positive overall, though, such as an appreciation for food in general. That way, you can find healthier alternatives that you may end up enjoying more!

At the end of the day, even if the things that you find valuable don’t necessarily become your job, it’s important to make time for the things that you find true value in. Just going through the motions in your everyday life won’t lead to living the life you truly want or deserve to lead. However, if you are interested in making a career out of your passions, or using them to make some extra cash, then be sure to check back in for my next chapters. 


For when you’re stressed out by all the potential opportunities in your life, you can get 20% off your next treatment at Best MG Spa! Just pay with cash and bring this coupon and your student ID. 

By Izzy Astuto

Izzy Astuto (he/they) is a writer currently majoring in Creative Writing at Emerson College, with a specific interest in screenwriting. His work has previously been published by Hearth and Coffin, Sage Cigarettes, and The Gorko Gazette, amongst others. He is currently a reader for journals such as PRISM international and Alien Magazine. You can find more of their work on their website, at https://izzyastuto.weebly.com/. Their Instagram is izzyastuto2.0 and Twitter is adivine_tragedy. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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My Second Biggest Fear Starting College Was The Dining Hall.

Thursday, September 26th, 2024

First was move-in. 

For me, it was the not-knowing of it all. I felt like the whole move-in process was something everybody understood except me, that there was a certain way to do things. I was worried about a wide assortment of things—will people be instructing me through it? What if I don’t have the correct documentation? What if my parents park our car in the wrong spot? The panicked thoughts that move-in brought were countless and utterly overwhelming. 

Some context: I’m Autistic, but I only recently got tested and figured it out. When I started college I thought I just had this terrible case of social anxiety. Everything felt scary, from a conversation with a close friend to a room full of strangers. Interpersonal relationships have always been my biggest struggle—but at the same time, my biggest desire. Human beings are social creatures, after all. My relationships with other people are some of the most important aspects of my life. You can’t get through life without talking to people—they’re everywhere you look! I used to think that was a terrible thing, but I’ve come to realize it’s a beautiful part of life. 

So while I was terrified to start college, I was also thrilled to open up this new part of my life and meet all these new people from different backgrounds. 

And on that first day, I wasn’t the only one who felt at-a-loss about move-in. It’s freshman year; it’s new for everyone. Everybody is in the same boat. Even if I felt as though I were more clueless than most, that wasn’t necessarily the truth. 

The thing about Freshman year of college is that everyone runs to make friends at the very start, desperately afraid of being alone, and oftentimes those groups fall apart quickly. During orientation, everyone was so nice it was almost ridiculous. 

Then, it all died off. Friendships dwindled, people figured out who ‘worked’ for them and who didn’t—and it seemed I didn’t ‘work’ for the people I’d chosen that first week. I rushed into it like everyone else, afraid that if I didn’t instantaneously make friends upon arrival, I’d be alone forever—and I ended up alone anyways. 

Not forever, though. Of course not forever. 

Boston Public garden

I didn’t set foot in the dining hall until October. 

There was a list of reasons why. They might seem completely irrational (and they are!), but to myself at the time these reasons summoned just enough anxiety for me to choose a different option for food—to the detriment of my bank account, might I add. There were too many people I didn’t know—unfamiliar faces, people whose thoughts I didn’t know. I didn’t know where anything was, so what if I walked into the wrong area? What if I didn’t know what to eat? What if there were no seats left and I didn’t have anywhere to sit? These tiny molehills of concerns felt like mountains to me, impossible to overcome. 

Then I was invited to get dinner with a new friend. Someone I hardly knew, back then. Someone I got to know better by finally deciding today’s the day and agreeing to join them for dinner.

And, surprise! The dining hall was not the Hell-on-Earth I thought it would be. It was just, you know, the dining hall. A cafeteria. Like a bigger, slightly better version of what there was in high school. All it took was getting in there and going through the process of acquainting myself with new things. All it took was a push, a kind hand outreached. Sometimes, all you need to say is ‘yes.’

Caffe Bene is one of my favorite coffee shops to write at in Boston, enjoy 10% off with this coupon and student ID!

By: Meg Carey

Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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