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When Home Is Where the Heart Isn’t: Moving Back in with Your Parents

Saturday, June 16th, 2012

There’s no place like home—and good thing, because it’s hard enough dealing with just one of them. The dream life after college varies among students, but these dreams often have one goal in common: never live with parents again. Study results vary, but anywhere from a mere 20-47% of graduates actually achieve this goal right away, hence why we have been dubbed “Boomerang Kids” and “The Lost Generation.”

After having lived on campus and away from home, many students struggle with moving back in with their family, whether just for the summer or for who-knows-how-long after graduation. They might have to share a car or deal with the fact that what was once their bedroom is now the guest room. They might have to take care of pets and siblings. They might have to pay attention to how many possibly-inappropriate “That’s what she said” jokes they make (or maybe that’s just me). They might have to participate in housekeeping that goes beyond the fend-for-yourself methods that worked with roommates. They might have to actually have pants on as they walk around the house.

There are good things about moving back home too, though. Most students won’t have to buy their own groceries, don’t have to pay rent (though there are plenty who do), and won’t have to live with roommates anymore. The opportunity to save money is often enough incentive to make the big move back to the mothership.

Whatever your at-home responsibilities include, family life can often get frustrating and can affect your feelings towards the people you love. The sense of independence that you gained in college might start to feel restricted by watchful eyes of a parent, guardian, or even siblings. When you move back home, how can you make sure both you and your parents keep your sanity?

Of course, our parents aren’t all the same, and these guidelines won’t work with everyone, but the main point to remember is that compromise is crucial to solving many problems. Let’s face it: if you hate moving home, you’d probably only do it if you have to, in which case your parents are doing you a favor. Therefore, you should try to meet them eye-to-eye on issues that concern them (or that they think concern them).

The Problem: You feel weird having friends over.
First, you might want to establish a policy on having friends over (particularly if you want to drink alcohol, do drunken cartwheels, smash bottles, do body shots, etc.). If your parents’ guidelines are not something that you agree with, deal with it. Though the people invited might be your trustworthy friends, the location is still not your own and you have to respect the property of others. Find another place to meet up with people, whether someone else’s house, a public park, or a bar.

The Problem: Your parents want to set a curfew.
Tell them or leave a note before you go out about when they can expect you back. Be honest about where you are going, and assure them that you will be responsible. If you end up staying out later than expected, call them to let them know. Establish beforehand if a text will suffice (no one ever feels comfortable drunkenly calling the ‘rents, but spell check always helps in texts).

The Problem: Your room is now a guest room and feels impersonal.
Explain that you need a place to call home and a room to call your room. Ask them if they wouldn’t mind if you personalized your room a little bit. Offer to change it back before you leave (if you ever do!), just as if you were living in an apartment or dorm room.

The Problem: The nagging never stops.
If your parents constantly assign you tasks or complain about what you haven’t done, ask them to write a list for you ahead of time. That way, they will get an idea of the number of things they are asking of you and you will have all their requests in one spot so that you don’t forget them. This might also enable you to discuss the demands and negotiate them.

The Problem: Your family is simply driving you crazy.
Get out of the house. Rather than spending every minute either at home or with friends (though they can be a great source of sanity), consider getting a job, even if it is not your “dream job” or on the path towards it. In terms of your resumé, future employers would rather see you that you worked anywhere than nowhere. This will also get you out of the house, keep you busy, and maybe even earn you some money so that you can work towards affording your own place (if you’re not already being charged rent).

The Problem: You have no money or car and feel trapped in the house.
Again, get a job. Save money. Maybe babysit a neighbor that you don’t need a car to drive to or find a person or mode of public transportation that can bring you to your job. Ask your parents for loans, but be sure to respect their contributions, keep track of them, and pay them back.

The Problem: Your relationship with your parents is deteriorating.
As they grow up, many children start to realize the potential for their parents to be friends as well as guardians. But once parents start to pick up the roles of “Mom” and “Dad” full-time again, it is important to keep the “friend” role going too. Talk to each other about how your days are going, fill your dinnertime with conversation, and hang out—whether that means watching TV or a movie, washing the cars in the driveway, going shopping, exercising, or even just going to the grocery store together. Helping out around the house will help to bring friendliness back into your relationship as well, since it will encourage more of a mutual we-are-in-this-together relationship and less of a predator-prey, all-you-do-is-live-under-my-roof-and-eat-my-food relationship. Personally, I like to set aside time right when I get home from work to do things around the house so that I can get it done and move on.

The Problem: It doesn’t look like you will ever get out of there.
Stay positive. Set a potential move-out date, get an idea of where you’d want to move to, do research, and get yourself excited with ideas for your independent home. Also, remember that you are not alone. There are millions of others in the same situation as you, like Sabrina.

Even if you do manage to achieve an orderly parent-child relationship, both you and your parents are probably still looking forward to the day that you move out. Know that it will come, but remember that it will not happen by itself. Work towards it, have patience, keep the peace in the meantime, and residential independence will be in your grasp soon enough.

Help the family save money (and appreciate you more!) by offering to pick up the groceries with this discount coupon!

Carina, New York University. Read my blog and check out my Twitter!

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Long-Distance Relationships and Weird Technologies that Help Close the Gap

Saturday, June 9th, 2012
long-distance

Image Credit: http://www.yourtango.com/long-distance-relationship-0

Ahh, summertime. The smell of suntan lotion is in the air, breezes tickle bare skin and make girls paranoid about their skirts, and grains of sand can be found in every corner of your room after your first trip to the beach. But for many college students, summer also means leaving the college environment to return home or go abroad, and forces them to separate from friends and significant others, resulting in even more long-distance relationships, or LDRs, than ever before.

According to statistics from the now-closed Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships (yes, it actually existed), over four million college couples in the United States alone were in long-distance relationships in 2005. A more recent study conducted by the Communications Research journal found that as much as 75% of college students have or will, at some point, find themselves in a long-distance relationship. Even those in post-graduate life are increasingly finding themselves in LDRs, in part due to better technology but also majorly because of ever-increasing demands of economic situations.

With all the controversy over long-distance relationships, are they worth it? And what can be done to help maintain one?

There are many physical factors that play into a long-distance relationship, including the distance between the two involved, the modes of contact available, and the frequency and duration with which the couple can come into physical contact. Interestingly, however, studies suggest that distance is ultimately not the deciding factor for whether or not a long-distance couple will stay together.

See? It doesn’t have to be so bad!

A study conducted by the Center’s founder Greg Guldner titled “Time Spent Together and Relationship Quality: Long Distance Relationships as a Test Case” challenged the idea that relationship qualities are significantly affected by the amount of time a couple spends together. The study states, “Clearly, relationships require some level of contact and extremely infrequent contact probably does ultimately result in relationship instability. However, that level of infrequent contact does not occur in the vast majority of relationships.” In an interview with USA Today, Guldner says that his studies have found that a couple’s communication frequency “has almost no impact on whether they stayed together or the quality of the relationship.”

Rather, what makes long-distance relationships so different from others is the way that, particularly the rate at which, they develop. Guldner says, “Such relationships progress slowly because relationships develop through conflict and the breaking down of illusions—and long-distance couples don’t want to spoil their time together by fighting.” So while a close-proximity couple might break up within two months of starting a relationship, a LDR couple might do so in three or four.

I, for one, support this theory. My first relationship was one separated by about 200 miles and a $40 one-way bus ticket (which would have been more expensive had I not had used student discounts). But I don’t think it was the distance that broke us up; rather, I think that it kept us together for as long as we were. We hadn’t known each other much before we started dating, but we still decided to jump into a labeled “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationship from the start because we liked each other enough and felt that we wanted to be exclusive and needed to feel some sort of commitment before pledging to make a habit of crossing state borders. When our relationship started to get shaky, our phone calls never really addressed changing feelings even though it was clear that they were there. We didn’t want to argue, and the distance made our problems easier to ignore.

The good news is that, when commitment level and level of trust are high, long-distance relationships tend to have a success rate identical to relationships where the partners are in proximity to one another, implying that a couple’s needs are less physical than commonly believed and, instead, more emotional and psychological. This summer, my current boyfriend and I are long-distance, but commitment, trust, and communication are making it easier for us to deal with the distance.

In order to keep up the emotional and psychological stability of a relationship, communication is necessary. As products of Generation Y, we tend to not have much trouble in the field of long-distance interaction. Ever since we exchanged AIM screen names in grammar or middle school, we have been using such communication tools as email and instant messaging. SMS- and text-messaging are practically our second language.

Some couples have taken this interaction a step further, creating avatars that interact through virtual reality sites like SecondLife and VirtualDateSpace. A problem with such sites, however, is that it may cause an idealized version of reality. Though it helps couples to communicate and interact, it is, long story short, exactly what it claims to be—virtual reality: an alternate reality, not real life. For example, if you are communicating with your significant other’s attractive avatar when you are not attracted to the actual person, well, things could get a little complicated.

But it is not verbal communication that is so much of a problem today. Despite the science suggesting the insignificance of the role that physical contact plays in creating strong relationships, one of the biggest complaints among long-distance couples is a lack of physical contact, both sexual and not. The human need for touch extends beyond a release of oxytocin, a feel-good hormone released through affectionate touch. Sometimes people pine for touch simply because it is comforting to know that the other person is “there,” even if they cannot be “here.”

Technology seeks to rid LDRs of this barrier through such inventions as the “hug shirt” which recreates the strength, warmth, and heartbeat of someone’s embrace through sensors embedded in the shirt, allowing you to hug and be hugged in return. An iPhone app launched in March called “Pair” sets up a direct connection between couples through which they can quickly send texts, photos, and more. Its feature “thumb kiss” vibrates when the people on either end of the phone touch the screen in the same place at the same time, letting each other know that they are both “here” and “there” and thinking of each other.

A big pillow hugger myself, my favorite invention that I found is the product “Pillow Talk,” which allows couples to feel like they are sleeping with each other by simulating their partner’s heartbeat through a pillow. One person (or both) cuddles the pillow as the other wears a ring that detects the wearer’s heartbeat. The pillows miles away beat in real time with the heart of each pillow hugger’s lover, simulating a G-rated night together.

As much of a romanticized view as this might seem, when two people are right for each other, there is no distance that commitment cannot overcome. The biggest question that one should ask when considering a long-distance relationship is not if the distance is right, but rather if the person is right. Once this question receives a “yes,” staying in touch, both literally and figuratively, will not be as hard as it seems.

UPDATE: I’ve tried the Pair iPhone app, and it’s pretty cool. You can password protect it if you want, to ensure privacy. You can send pictures, videos, or drawings, and can directly link to FaceTime through it (though the FaceTime accounts are linked through email addresses, not the phone, which is strange). You can send a cute little thought bubble that simply says “Thinking of you,” or you can live draw with each other, or drop a pin to let your Pair-mate know where you are.

In the settings, you can list your anniversary and both of your birthdays to remember. You can set up a to-do list in the “Shared Task” section, document “Moments” with pictures, and suggest the application to another couple.

Bad news, though, for polygamous relationships: you can only pair with one person.

 

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Carina, New York University. Read my blog and check out my Twitter!

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Saying Okay to Cupid: Online Dating and the Search for Something

Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
Image Credit: http://phys.org/news/2015-12-online-dating-hobby-fun.html

Image Credit:
http://phys.org/news/2015-12-online-dating-hobby-fun.html

A Match.com commercial says that one in five relationships now start online. If your experience in a university library is anything like mine, you stare at a Date My School poster in the bathroom stall while you excrete the two Red Bulls and three cups of coffee that you guzzled in the past hour. You probably know, or are yourself, someone who has tried online dating, and you’ve probably heard an array of horror and success stories. When it comes down to it, online dating is just like any other kind of dating—you win some, you lose some—no matter how much success websites claim to have.

Take, for example, the tale of the two Lisas who both signed up for OkCupid.  One Lisa was a classmate, the other my roommate. Classmate Lisa had a few just-okay dates and then finally met a guy that was tall, funny, and handsome. The two decided to date for a few months before becoming exclusive, and have been happily in a relationship with each other for almost a year.  Roommate Lisa, on the other hand, after looking around on the site for a few months, finally decided to go out on a date with someone. She brought him to our apartment for some drinks before they went to a bar. I invited my own date over and a friend as well, and we all setup a false, nonjudgmental, and laid back oh-we’ve-been-hanging-out-for-a-while appearance.  Long story short, an hour later Lisa’s mother was in a terrible car accident (not really) and Lisa had to cancel the date after a tear-jerking phone call (seriously, the girl deserves an Oscar for that performance).

A promising feature of most online dating sites is that users get to establish what they are looking for. Similarly, they can talk with each other before deciding to meet in person. Of course, in-person interaction can be extremely different than interacting online, but the pressure of saying “yes” or “no” to a date is lessened when it only requires the click of a button.

So what are people on dating sites looking for? A common belief that makes people wary of signing up for the sites is that users don’t actually want relationships. For some, this is true. The beauty of it, however, is that most pages will list upfront why people sign up for the site. Then it comes down to whether or not that person is being honest, and, if he/she is not, how he/she will handle a situation that goes past a date.

Take now, for example, the report of a boy named Richard. Richard signed up for Date My School and did just that—dated his school. Date after date ensued for a boy who was troubled by rarely being able to get a step further than obtaining girls’ phone numbers at parties. As his online dating repertoire expanded, so did his ego—that is, until he met one particular girl who made him want to stop his search.

Some good news about online dating is that, since it has become increasingly popular, there are more ways than ever to meet people online and, therefore, more sites for you to choose from.  You can now find people on less traditional sites based on specific things like what you would be doing on a date (HowAboutWe.com), who is in the area (the SinglesAroundMe phone application), what your religious beliefs are (ChristianMingle.com, JDate.com), what icebreakers you use to start conversations (nerve.dating.com), and what you’d want in a no-strings-attached relationship (benaughty.com).

While the opportunities seem endless, they also seem daunting.  But once you choose a site, the rest is relatively easy.  First, be honest about what you are looking for.  While it’s also a good idea to expand your horizons and not be afraid to take chances with new and different people than you’re used to, you’re not doing anyone a favor by going on dates with people who you know beforehand you won’t be interested in. Be honest on your profile and be honest in person. Secondly, play the game like a good sport. Don’t be offended if others don’t respond online; just move on. If a date turns out to be no more than just one date, take something from the experience, even if it’s just meeting new people. Third, keep at it with a positive attitude, like this guy. If you look at someone’s profile and are unsure about whether to pursue him/her further, go for it. Why not? Remember, you already have something in common: you’re both looking to date and took a chance doing it on the same site.

Carina, New York University. Read my blog and check out my Twitter!

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The Five Year Itch

Friday, March 9th, 2012

Being in a relationship is hard. Being in a five year relationship when you both have full schedules with little extra time to spare- now you’re just talking crazy. But it’s possible! I’m proof! And now I’m going to spend the next 400-500 words talking about all the wonderful things about love and rainbows and cupcakes. Did I mention my boyfriend is a saint for putting up with my sarcasm for this long?

So, I find myself in a long term relationship or as my boyfriend and I like to call it, “The Long Haul” and I think I made it clear that I won’t be talking about all the good stuff. Nope, I’m going to cut down to brass tacks here. Relationships are hard and real unless you’re Kim Kardashian and believe in the power of denial and illusions, just saying.
It’s not all the charming qualities about your partner or the way they look into your eyes and tell you that they love you (cue my gag reflex). No, it’s all about the fun.

If you’re looking to find and stay in a long term relationship, you have to ask yourself- “Can I have fun with this person even when we’re old and arthritic? Am I okay with this person being the one who will most likely be the only person I’ll allow to hear me pass gas and laugh about it?”

It sounds silly but ask anyone in a long term relationship or marriage and they’ll tell you the same thing, granted slightly variations of fun and maybe still not okay with the passing gas in front of each other part, but you get my point.
Fun is the essential part to not just romantic relationships but any relationship really.

For all you kids at heart out there, just think of that episode of Spongebob where he teaches the “F.U.N Song” to a grouchy Plankton. “F is for friends who do stuff together. U is for you and me. N is for anywhere at any time at all.”

Now before you laugh at me for being 22 years old and still knowing the words to that song from Spongebob, here me out.

When choosing a partner, do you want to be with a jolly, optimistic and fun Spongebob or can you really see yourself living the rest of your life with a total downer like Plankton? And if you happen to be content living with a Plankton, then I’ll make it a point to buy you some wrinkle cream for your next birthday for all those frown lines you’ll be getting soon.

People who have fun with their romantic partners, no matter how long they have been together, tend to be happier people- with fewer wrinkles in the long run.

We all hear the stories of the ‘ol’ ball and chain’ but I say it doesn’t have to be this way, just remember fun.

And having fun doesn’t mean you have to file for bankruptcy. There are lots of great ways to have a great time in the city for close to nothing. For example, The Brooklyn Botanical Garden offers free entrance on Tuesdays and discounts for student tickets on any other day. To top off a trip to the BBG, you can head over to East Village Tavern for buy one get one free burgers! Be sure to print out the coupon below and bring your student ID and check out the Campus Clipper for other student discounts for good eats and more fun.

 

Janet, College of Saint Elizabeth, 2012

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Breaking Dawn: I Really Don’t Know Where to Begin

Saturday, November 26th, 2011

I saw the new Twilight movie yesterday with my mother and two teenage brothers (a mistake), and I can confidently say that it was the worst movie I’ve ever paid money to sit through.

And I don’t think it’s the filmmakers’ fault. The storyline is just… so offensively and violently weird that it’s almost to difficult to stomach. Almost. While my eighteen and fifteen year-old brothers groaned and writhed in pain throughout the entire film, nobody got up and left (though there were threats). When the two hours finally ended, we walked into the sunlight, blinking gratefully, completely unable to find the words to describe what we’d just seen.

Breaking Dawn: Part One opens with the ever-bland Bella rejecting a pair of truly gorgeous shoes because she’s above learning to walk in heels for her wedding. As something of a shoe-freak and heel-lover, this made me audibly scoff over and over. I was essentially infuriated from minute 1. They were such pretty shoes, white with silver detailing, and REALLY BELLA? Can’t stoop to such a materialistic level and class it up at YOUR WEDDING? Ugh. Anyway.

It’s time for The Wedding. Bella’s dressed in a Star Trek Next Generation-type shiny skintight number with a very pretty hairdo. Edward looks like a wax figure that’s been airbrushed. Every guest got the memo to wear neutral golds and lavenders, and there are flowers everywhere. It’s very pretty to behold, and it’s over-the-top-ness prompts some great banter from the adorable and witty Anna Kendrick et al, Bella’s high school friends who are in the same boat with me on the ridiculousness of the scene. And THANK THE LORD that some characters seem wise to the craziness of the storyline: Bella is marrying at eighteen years old in a ceremony more elaborate than Kim and Kris and Kate and Wills’ combined. There are a few tender moments between Bella and her dad that really get the waterworks going (my mom was like a hosepipe throughout the entire scene), a vomit-inducing five-minute long make-out scene at the altar, and some fairly cute toasts at the reception. Everything seems to be going perfectly until Preteen Werewolf Jacob shows up, eliciting heavy amounts of cheers and sighs from the group of middle school girls in the row in front of us.

Jacob decided to make an appearance at the wedding even though he’s all depressed because he’s in love with Bella too (again, WHY?) and proceeds to get WEREWOLF ANGRY when she informs him that she and Edward are planning to consummate their marriage on their honeymoon. He hulks out and turns into a wolf and runs away, and Edward had to pick up the pieces. It is at this point that I realized Bella was wearing white sneakers under her wedding gown, and I became about as angry as Jacob.

Bella and Edward go off on their honeymoon via private jet to a pretty large island that the vampires just seem to own. Edward and Bella finally Do It and apparently it’s great for her but his super-vampire-strength causes him to break the bed and bruise her up a bit. I’m actually not sure because I was pretty focused on covering my baby brother’s eyes, but folks, it ain’t much to write home about.

Edward doesn’t want to Do It with Bella anymore because of the bruises, so for the next few minutes the audience is treated to a montage of Bella attempting to seduce Edward whilst engaging in honeymoon-type activities like cliff diving and chess. Her wardrobe is splendid, and Edward looks more handsome than creepy despite the glittering skin. And then, in the plot twist of the century, we discover that Bella is With Child. Enter the awkward political debate. I don’t even want to get into all of that because there are so many seriously-skewed messages being sent by this plot line, but Bella makes her own choice to keep her Vampire Fetus, and Edward is enraged.

Cut to two weeks, and Bella is so gross-looking I almost barfed. They’ve really outdone themselves in making her look awful, and her pregnant belly is covered in bruises because apparently the Vampire Fetus is as strong as Edward. There’s a lot of discussion between werewolf and vampire alike about terminating the Vampire Fetus, but Bella will not hear of it and there’s a lot of anger and wolf-fighting and hilarious stuff that made me laugh. Whatever.

Bella finds out she’ll probably die because the Fetus is taking all of her nutrients, and somehow it’s decided that she should drink some O- out of a sippy-cup. IT’S SO GROSS. She’s all skinny and the blood is in her teeth and I DON’T KNOW WHY I PAID TO SEE THIS. So Bella’s chugging blood at this point and she and Edward are starting to get excited at the prospect of their Vampire Baby.

Bella stands up and I guess the baby kicks her in the spine because some really disgusting body contortions happen and I covered my face for most of it, but Edward essentially eats the baby out of her, and she names it Renesmee (for time’s sake I won’t discuss the name). Edward shoots Bella up with vampire venom to save her life/turn her into a vampire, and Jacob decides to kill the CGI baby as the wolves gather to help take it out. But in another Shocking Plot Twist, Jacob looks at the CGI baby and falls madly in love with it, which the werewolves define as “imprinting,” resulting in a really weird montage of the CGI baby growing up and spinning in a forest. Jacob kneels in front of the CGI baby, and the wolves have to call off their attack because they can’t harm the subject of an “imprinting.”

This movie is not worth paying to see in a theater. I can’t believe I did. It’s so offensive and you can tell that the filmmakers TRIED THEIR DARNDEST and I really pity them because they were making a movie out of a book that contained all of this material. It isn’t at all reminiscent of how real relationships work and everybody looks so weird all of the time! Why aren’t the people of Forks wise to this? I’ll probably end up seeing it on DVD at some point, but as my baby brother said, “The only good thing that came from seeing that movie is I’m 100 percent sure I’m not going to see Part 2.”

Olivia, Fordham University 2012

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Hostess with the Most-est

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

Almost every college freshman experiences homesickness on some level. It’s an aspect of college life that comes with the territory, and I was certainly not immune to it. The homesickness I endured in the beginning my freshman year was almost a debilitating illness that I treated with multiple viewings of “The Notebook” and long phone calls home.

As the years pass and we begin to establish ourselves as adults, the homesickness ebbs and we become more at-home in our new lives than our old ones. I don’t find myself getting homesick anymore, but I always miss my family, and now that I’m older I appreciate them more than ever (it also helps that I am no longer a perpetually-angry teenager with an agenda).

 

Today my mother and grandparents are flying in from Florida for the week and I couldn’t be more excited. Not only are they three of my six favorite people on the planet, but having family in town gives me a reason to do super-touristy activities without feeling lame. Having lived in NYC for almost four years now, I tend to avoid tourist hot-spots like Times Square and Rockefeller Center, but with my family visiting I can enjoy sightseeing New York like it’s my first time here. Everything feels new and exciting again.

I always love to take my family to my favorite restaurants when they come to visit, and I have a few standbys that I know I can rely on. I’m pretty lucky that Fordham’s campus is situated right next to Arthur Avenue– the Bronx’s Little Italy. Literally right outside my door there are dozens of options for authentic, family-style Italian food served in restaurants that have been open for a decades. However, Italian isn’t the only food that Arthur Avenue has to offer; Estrellita Poblana has the best shrimp tacos I’ve ever had in my life, guacamole to die for, and an awesome student discount ($2 Coronas!!). A bit of a connoisseur of Mexican food, I can confidently say that NYC’s best is located in the Bronx. As for favorite breakfast spots, Sarabeth’s is tops with delicious takes on traditional breakfast dishes. Plus, huge portions!! Am I right!?
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We do have to find other activities to help us pass the time between each meal. Whenever my family visits we almost always see a Broadway show. As the world’s biggest Harry Potter groupie, I insisted that we see “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”, starring His Harry-ness himself, Daniel Radcliffe. Judging by his vivacious nature and willingness to please, I’m sure Daniel will do an excellent job leading the show’s ensemble.

 

I always try to find interesting museums to take my culture-loving mother to. While the Met and MoMA are always great, it’s fun to stop into smaller places like the Folk Art Museum, or to try and catch an interesting exhibit at the Whitney. Since my grandparents aren’t much into walking at their ages it’s usually best for us to find smaller, quieter museums that are easier to explore at a leisurely pace.

I love my family so much, but when they visit it can be pretty exhausting. That’s why I’m so lucky to have great deals on coffee through Campus Clipper! I can always get a boost at Financier Coffee, and for 10% off with this coupon, it’s a delicious way to make it through the day.

 

 

Olivia, Fordham University 2012

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Until The Very End

Monday, July 18th, 2011

The beginning of a great legacy.

I can still remember my first experience with Harry Potter. The year was 2001 and I was seeing a movie whose title and content I have no memory of with my younger sisters and Dad at a local movie theater. But what I do remember seeing was the trailer for the upcoming release of the first Harry Potter film: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The glow of November on the screen till this very day is still present in my mind. I was captivated and that following November I saw the film and so began my love for both Harry Potter books and films. I often find that I associate Harry Potter with my childhood, and I certainly believe it is representative of my generation. People my age all over the world essentially grew up with Harry Potter and this is why the release of the second and last installment of the final film this past week is considered widely a bittersweet moment.

Without a doubt, I felt it was absolutely necessary to view a midnight showing of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 this past Thursday for its U.S. premiere at the same theater I saw the first. I brought along my younger sister who was equally excited and completely aware of the likely possibility I would embarrass her by tearing up, which I did. My local theater was overrun by avid Harry Potter fans some dressed in Gryffindor uniforms and many foreheads were marked by a lightning bolt scar.  Luckily my sister and I were spotted by a group of High School friends and acquaintances that allowed us to join them on line and then began the nostalgia. The overall consensus amongst the group was the feeling that their childhood was coming to an end. In simple words: the idea of not being a kid anymore makes me sad. However, I’m happy that my transition to imminent adulthood has become jarringly clear because of a franchise that I’ll always love.

I had no qualms whatsoever with the film. It truly is an achingly beautiful adaptation of the final moments configured by JK Rowling.  Also, the epilogue perfectly captured the bittersweet feeling shared by fans worldwide. It was just a perfect balance of melancholy and sheer optimism. Proof of this is the combined mix of smiles and tears I experienced when watching the films end. And for the sake of my own street cred, let it be known the theater was chock full of young adults, both male and female, tearing up because of the films content and its projection, but also because of it’s beautiful parallel to the life of a growing individual. It really is the end of an era, a great one at that. But at the same time, the Harry Potter franchise is certainly forever because its legacy is so great. I’m sure many fans my age anticipate a future where they could share the magical world of Harry Potter with their own children. Similar to the way many of us have shared the bewitching experience with our parents.

My mom mentioned looking forward to owning all of the films on DVD because it’d be both incredibly nostalgic and fun to watch all of them in a row. I personally cannot wait for such a time too! Luckily this can be the case too for students who are conscious of student discounts.  I suggest checking out DVD Funhouse, they have a discount were you can purchase five DVDs for only ten dollars! This means you can invest in buying five of the films for a Harry Potter movie night.

Harry Potter will always serve as a reminder of the curious kid that still exists within me. In many ways the Harry potter experience has preserved my nine-year-old self in both memory and continued spirit. I know I’ll always be in awe of the magical world I watched on screen and read about. I’m sure until the very end.

Anjelica LaFurno (Baruch College)

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Image credit: onlinemovieshut.com

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Posted in Family, Movies, onEntertainment, onSavings, onValues | 2 Comments »

Movies with a Language Barrier

Sunday, July 10th, 2011

When there is a language barrier involved, it can be hard to find an activity that pleases everyone.  We found this out one night when my dad, my grandmother (on my mom’s side) and I were home one night, in search of something to do.  My grandmother is Japanese and speaks no English, my dad is American and speaks no Japanese, and I am half-Japanese with an eight year old’s grasp on the language. My mother, the main translator, was out on a reunion with old friends, and my sister, the one who often lightens the mood, was at a birthday party.  It was an impasse.  Maybe in another situation we would have tried an activity without words, like a game of catch or some other sport.  But as much as I love my grandmother, I didn’t imagine a pickup game of soccer would be her thing.

Image credit: moviemikes.com

It was my dad’s idea to put on a movie.  He found some Japanese films on Netflix, and, hoping they were subtitled, put several of them on instant. To our dismay, most of the films, even the ones from the foreign film genre, were dubbed over with English voices.  Not only was this disappointing, but in our case, it completely defeated the point of watching a Japanese movie at all.  So when we finally found a movie with the original Japanese voicing and English subtitles, we were so glad that we just agreed to watch it, without even really considering what the story itself was. It turned out to be a drama, titled High and Low, about a businessman who has to decide between his company and saving his chauffeur’s kidnapped son (guess which he decides).  Although it was a wordy film, the acting was great to watch, and this made it enjoyable for everybody.

Although I didn’t think of it at the time, another movie option would have been something wordless, like a silent film.  Silent films are something of a rarity these days—I’m not particularly a fan, and it seems that few other than dedicated film-lovers would choose a film without dialogue. However unlikely, my sister is a fan of Abbot and Costello, and she swears the films are accessible to anyone. They’re not too popular now, but I can’t imagine a more appropriate time for a silent film than when language itself is the problem.

Other times, when my dad isn’t around, we watch animated movies in Japanese.  Although a relic from when my sister and I were younger, all of us still have something of a weak spot for cute characters, and Miyazaki films are prime material for that.  Our favorites are My Neighbor Totoro and Kiki’s Delivery Service. My sister or I might miss a few key points if the characters talk too fast or use more sophisticated words, but animated movies in general are pretty easy to follow even with a spotty understanding of the language being spoken.  Not only that, but they almost always have a happy ending, and none of us would have it any other way.

Movie nights are a great way to connect with people regardless of differences. DVD Funhouse offers student discounts; with these student savings, everyone will be pleased.

Ana Dicroce (American University)

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Posted in Family, Movies | 2 Comments »

Meeting Fellow Vegans in the City

Sunday, July 10th, 2011

Not THAT kind of vegan club!

Being in such a small minority, vegans must face others that disagree with our principles every day, and not everyone understands. Even if someone isn’t belligerent or overly defensive, mere good-natured joking can hurt if it feels like a friend is belittling our beliefs. Of course, there is no escaping people who don’t have the same moral systems, whether it has to do with food or not. However, a good way to reinforce one’s confidence with his/her choices is to seek out others who feel the same way, and college is a great place to meet with like-minded people. Here are some ways that you can start connecting.

Start by looking for your college campus’ vegan club. If the school website doesn’t have an up-to-date list of clubs, check with the student resources department. While you’re there, look for any bulletin boards maintained by student services, which can have notices for many different clubs. Any areas where students gather, like near cafeterias or student lounges, are also popular places to post flyers. Besides “vegan,” other keywords to look for are “vegetarian,” “animal rights/equality/liberation,” “anti-vivisection/cruelty,” and “humane.”

If the school doesn’t yet have a vegan club, you can opt to start your own. Each college’s process for creating a student-run organization will differ, but it usually starts by submitting a request to student services with a name and mission statement. You may or may not be required to collect signatures as proof of student interest, but that would be a perfect opportunity to start publicizing your budding club around campus. Once approved, gain members by posting flyers, informing your classmates, and playing up opportunities to run for council positions. Remember to advertise free refreshments in the flyers!

For students who would rather socialize outside of school or are graduating soon, the city is a  platform for vegan organizations of all kinds. Take advantage of search engines and social networking sites to find groups whose events are in line with your interests, whether they be social meals or activism. For example, the LGBT and friends group VegOut NYC hosts potluck dinners on every third Sunday of the month. Also, try searching “vegan” on Meetup.com to see upcoming gatherings that you can join to meet new people in safe, public environments like restaurants. The New York City Vegetarian Meetup Group even offers the opportunity to organize meetups by contacting restaurants for reservations and creating an event on the group page.

When I first became vegan and suddenly found myself surrounded by people who were attempting to understand my new lifestyle choice, I got tired of having to explain myself all the time while trying to avoid offending people and still convey my important message. Just like it’s nice to find a person who likes the same music and movies as I do, sometimes I relish being able to talk about my personal food and ethical preferences with people who just understand. Reaching out to connect with other vegans can be a cathartic experience, and I highly recommend it to any budding or weathered herbivore.

 

-Avia Dell’Oste
@Hunter College

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Posted in onCollege, onFood, onLife, Relationships, Student Activism, Uniqueness in NYC | 2 Comments »

onLove: When Friends Pay a Visit

Thursday, July 7th, 2011

One of the great things about living in a vibrant city like New York is that my friends from back home are always more than willing to come visit me. Especially now that summer is in full swing, plenty of out-of-town friends are staking their claim on available weekends and planning overnight stays at my apartment. These get-togethers are usually marked by touristy outings, drinks at what is deemed to be a “classy” wine bar or lounge, and people-watching in Union Square at 2AM.

While I do love my friends dearly, gone are the days of having a large, three-bedroom apartment with multiple roommates and plenty of space for people to crash at the night’s end. Now, in my humble one-bedroom abode, I have a futon shoved haphazardly into my kitchen area, which is usually an uncomfortable 90+ degrees thanks to my refusal to buy an air-conditioner (equal parts laziness and thriftiness.) The other sleeping arrangement I can offer my guest is for us to share my bed. But two sweaty, adult bodies on a full-sized mattress pretty much negates my sad little desk fan, which spins madly in the night as it struggles in vain to keep the room cool.

Of course I preface any potential visitation with a disclaimer, warning my guests that my apartment is nothing like the glamorous ones they may have seen on sitcoms and other television shows based in NYC. But no matter how much I try to prepare my friends for the harsh reality of non-luxury New York City apartments, it seems as though I never do a good enough job, because many arrive and their eyes instantly widen in surprise. Beads of sweat form on their brow, the inevitable result of walking up four flights of stairs. And their discomfort is apparent as they take a quick survey of my cluttered, cramped space.

After the initial shock wears off, there is always another concern hovering in the air: What are my friends going to do the entire time they’re here? For some, this is their first time in New York sans elementary school field-trip itinerary. Your friend will turn to you for advice on where to go, what to see, where to eat… and you’ll be expected to provide answers. So the awkward but necessary question comes shortly after my friend gets settled.

“Uh… what do you wanna do?” I ask, hoping my inquisition will not be met with silence, a shrug, or a hasty “I dunno, what do you wanna do?”

In order to avoid being caught in an awkward verbal ping-pong match, where half-hearted ideas are lobbed back and forth for several minutes, try to keep a few fail-safe plans tucked away in the back of your mind.  Even if you just spend an hour regrouping at an air-conditioned cafe, your friend will appreciate your taking the initiative. Also, this is a great time to take advantage of all the student discounts and fun activities the city has to offer. A trip to a museum or impromptu elevator ride to the top of the Empire State Building will help remind even the most jaded New Yorker that the city is teeming with diversity and life. And local knowledge coupled with the enthusiasm and excitement that a visitor brings can lead to a great bonding experience.

If offering up your couch isn’t a realistic option, friends can still visit—just work out another arrangement before they arrive.  There are plenty of affordable hotels, and some are even offering reduced rates during the summer. Blue Moon Hotel on Orchard Street (between Broome and Delancey) is offering a student discount of 10%.  As a compromise for their staying elsewhere, you can offer to treat your friends to a lunch or pay for their ticket to one of the exhibits you end up visiting.

-Alex Agahigian, NYU-

I have lots of other things to say

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