One cuisine I will never be sick of is Chinese food, especially as an Asian American student studying far from home. Having what tastes like a home-cooked meal is paramount to my mental well-being and sense of belonging in New York City. My friend Paolo and I spent our lunch break at Sauerkraut Fish, a sit-down restaurant just around the corner from New York University. Both of us craved the familiarity of Asian cuisine, considering we had been away from home for most of the semester. We needed a hot meal to recover from the difficult semester we endured and an afternoon to catch up on internship updates.
The savory, sweet Kung Pao chicken.
As we lamented over the difficulties in landing a job on LinkedIn, we ordered the Chengdu spicy cold noodles to share. This platter is made with an abundance of chili oil, which I advise against for those who are unable to tolerate high spice levels. The noodles left a zesty zing in the back of my throat, which is a pleasant kick for me, though maybe not all customers. We thoroughly enjoyed the starter nonetheless.
“The cold noodles were very refreshing on this hot day in May. They have a strong spicy kick that leaves your mouth tingling,” Paolo ecstatically finished the first portion of food.
Paolo serves himself some cold noodles.
Our polite server presented us with Sichuan wontons marinating in a bowl of chili oil. These wontons were soft, silky, and tender. They were drenched in a spicy garlic marinade, filled with various vibrant seasonings. The abundance of flavors sparked my taste buds and kept me craving more.
“The wontons were very juicy and flavorful, the Szechuan paired very nicely with them. There’s definitely a lot of oil in the bowl, if that’s your thing,” Paolo informed. Despite his small critique, he ate all of the wontons I was unable to finish.
The beef made szechuan style was tender, well flavored, and a perfect simple dish for those who don’t do well with spice. Onions, sliced jalapeños, broccoli, and tomatoes elevated the platter entirely.
A close up of the spicy wontons.
”Szechuan Beef! The meet is very, very tender and had lots of spices. The Szechuan flavor was not too overpowering. It paired very nicely with the white rice and noodles,” my friend commented as we jointly finished the plate.
Lastly, the classic Kung Pao sealed our afternoon meal. Paolo seemed to enjoy the dish, immediately staking his claim on taking home the leftovers.
“The Kung Pao chicken was slightly crispy and bursting with sweet and tangy flavor and a slight kick,” Paolo enthusiastically said. “Very generous serving size, very filling too!”
The assortment for our lunch at Sauerkraut Fish.
We truly enjoyed our lunch, with an emphasis on the bowl of wontons or prospective customers who enjoy intense spice. Sauerkraut Fish has partnered with the Campus Clipper to offer students a discount when they present the coupon below and their student ID.
A few months ago, I wrote about how women perpetuating the patriarchy was taking a toll on me (as if it were new information). I was frustrated by the way I was being objectified by men and women alike, belittled and dumbed down into something along the lines of a rom-com side character scripted by Richard Curtis. I have lived long enough to know that when that happens, someone is simply projecting their own insecurities, but by god is it still so incredibly annoying.
The truth is I don’t blame women, or men for that matter, for being insecure. The pressures we face today are unimaginable, and the standard of beauty and overall being is simply unattainable. If you’re not living off brand deals and traveling the world, are you really living? If you don’t have abs like Glen Powell, what kind of girl even wants you? And if you aren’t on the list of Forbes 30 Under 30, have you even found a purpose in life? It’s absurd what we compare ourselves to rather than appreciate all we’ve done.
Societal pressure has left us all insecure at one moment or another, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. The point is how we handle that insecurity of ours. Maybe you’re insecure about your body type because the world has told you it doesn’t compare to Charlie’s Angels, but does it really make you feel better to comment “Jeez, put on some meat” under an influencer’s bikini pic? I may not blame anyone for feeling like they don’t measure up from time to time, but I will 100% blame women for putting other women down just to feel good about themselves.
According to Her Campus, “A recent social media phenomenon, the term ‘girl’s girl’ is used to describe women who support other women through every aspect of their lives, and not just the women directly in their lives either.” To be a girl’s girl takes active work. It involves dismantling the competitiveness and insecurities society has propelled onto us, which can be incredibly difficult when it comes to things we’ve been taught all our lives.
My mom: the ultimate girl’s girl
If you’ve been so fortunate as to have primarily healthy female friendships all your life, you may think to yourself, “Well, I know a lot of girl’s girls, and I thought most girls were girl’s girls, so just how many aren’t?” You’ll be interested to find that someone calls a woman a ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ on X (formerly Twitter) almost 10,000 times per day, and half of those comments are from women, a 2016 Washington Post study stated. More interestingly, The Workplace Bullying Institute found women bully other women up to 80% of the time. And if it couldn’t get worse, a 2020 study by the United Nations found that about 90% of men AND women “hold some sort of bias against women, providing new clues to the invisible barriers women face in achieving equality, and a potential path forward to shattering the Glass Ceiling.” The truth is, the world needs a LOT more actual girl’s girls, not just performances.
It’s important for us as women to remember that being a girl’s girl extends far beyond just watching another girl’s drink at the bar. It’s in the way we speak to each other, the way we act with each other, and the way we stand up for one another. It’s in the way we stop ourselves from falling into sexist rhetoric, from using gender as an insult, from objectifying each other more than we applaud one another. Like the scene from Mean Girls, I’m sure we could all raise our hands and admit we’ve said things we regret about another girl. You’d think, though, that once we reach Ms. Norbury’s age at the latest, all the weird ‘girl-on-girl crime’ would just… fizzle out?
In our 20s, it seems to just take on more forms. A random back-handed compliment from a friend here, an insulting up-and-down glance from a stranger there, A humiliation fetish disguised as a joke everywhere! Not to mention, it’s SO second-hand embarrassing for me and for everyone I tell afterward (Yes, I will absolutely gossip about the hurtful thing you said to me. It’s my way of coping). You should see the grimaces and furrowed brows that glide over everyone’s faces, the cringes and widened eyes that follow suit, and the “Um wtf!” texts that fly in like clockwork. If non-girl’s girls knew they came off this way, would they change their ways, like Regina George? Or would they still play victim, siding with misogynists, calling women hormonal b-words? I’d like to think they can still be saved.
Tally: another ultimate girl’s girl
If we support one another, uplift one another, and stand up for one another, it won’t only make us better people, but actually make us feel better, too. A study from the National Institute of Health states, “Friendships among women can provide critical social resources and promote overall wellness, feelings of self-worth, and empowerment. Findings from studies that examine these relationships among women indicate that the quality of friendship support is more important than the mere number. Supportive friendships, which are characterized by intimacy, nurturance, loyalty, and prosocial behaviors, are associated with heightened psychological and physical well-being.”
Being a supportive girl’s girl is so important, especially in a world that has always been and still is against women. Uplifting other women creates a sense of community, which means we’ll have more people to hear us out and learn from in times of need. Hyping up our friends and strangers also shifts our mindset away from toxic comparison, because life is hard enough without mentally competing in a game no one actually wins. Plus, acts of kindness release feel-good hormones, so we’re not just being nice—we’re chemically hacking our own brains into happiness. At the end of the day, why make enemies out of the very people who could be your biggest allies?
“I love my husband, but it is nothing like a conversation with a woman who understands you. I grow so much from those conversations.” – Beyonce
Boston Students! Get free chips and salsa at Chivo Taqueria in Cambridge!
Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.
The ambiance of surrounding neon lights make me feel reminiscent of Atlanta night life, while the rapport evident through customers’ and employees’ chatter reminds me of a typical suburban eatery. G’s Cheesesteaks, just a short walk from the J train, is a vibrant fast-food spot for tourists and locals alike, with affordable prices and sociable staff. After a long day of walking around the city, my friend Alejandro and I decided to spend our evening indulging in some delicious cheesesteaks and other greasy dishes.
A restroom sign reads, “Open Late” in a fluorescent, red glow.
The bright range of orange hues invite us into the establishment, along with an equally welcoming employee. Aidan Ruiz, the manager, helped us select from the wide range of savory entrees and sweet treats. Famished from a whirlwind of tourist activities, the two of us order the most appealing drinks, milkshakes, appetizers, entrees, and desserts. Our creamy, smooth milkshakes are served with a heaping of toppings and syrups. These sweet and thick beverages were essentially desserts, prompting us to order pink lemonade and bottled water to wash down our meals.
The entrance to G’s Cheesesteak is covered in spunky artwork and bright, neon lights.
The coveted and classic oreo milkshake, covered in a plentiful amount of crushed cookies, was the best I’ve had in the city. Alejandro expressed how he loved his strawberry cheesecake milkshake throughout the entirety of our meal. It had an intense strawberry flavoring, almost as if it was derived from Nesquik.
He felt the sugary drink was “very good for its price, with a slight cheesecake flavor, but very strawberry forward.”
We enjoyed two milkshakes: a strawberry cheesecake speciality and a coveted, oreo classic.
For appetizers, I chose the smash-burger-inspired fries and Alejandro indulged in the philly-cheesesteak-inspired eggroll. The crispy, golden brown fries had a savory animal sauce layered atop two juicy, smashed beef patties. Meanwhile, the eclectic starter came drenched in a traditional sweet and sour sauce. The flavors and textures from these mozzarella cheese, meaty filling, and salty, flaky exterior creates a unique and delicious blend. I genuinely found the sweet and sour chili sauce as a great addition, for it was an homage to authentic eggrolls.
Swiftly presented to us were the philly-cheesesteak-inspired eggrolls, slice opened, along with a basket of chicken tenders and smash-burger-inspired fries.
Pertaining to our main courses, we shared the ten piece creamy buffalo chicken tenders and “the classic” philly cheesesteak. I favored the philly cheesesteak, with its chewy, soft, seeded bread with an oozing cheese and tender beef stuffing. These bites melted in my mouth. The buffalo chicken tenders was not excessive in its breading, or spicy flavor, which was served on the side.
Alejandro attempts a cheese-pull, before I can capture a photo.
”Very juicy chicken!” Alejandro reviewed. “Also, Aidan gave us a seeded bun instead of the listed classic bun. I would agree it is better. The meat was also very tender.”
A slice of strawberry cheesecake and box of funnel cake fries closed out our evening. Alejandro devoured the cheesecake, animatedly rambling about his favorite dessert. The slice was complemented by a drizzled strawberry syrup, the same as their associated milkshake. The generous mountain of funnel cake fries were my personal favorite, as they were a tasty and filling finale to the night. Both desserts were dusted with powdered sugar for an extra element of sweetness.
Our funnel cake fries and cheesecake slice!
“G’s Cheesesteaks is a fun, themed, quick stop for various food options,” Alejandro reflected. “With the decadent and sweet milkshakes to cut through the very traditional phillies, it’s a fun place to grab a quick bite. The appetizers are definitely very shareable, unless of course you are like us, and would just take it all down.”
For students who would like to try G’s Cheesesteaks wide assortments of foods and flavors, they have partnered with Campus Clipper to offer students a 15% discount when they present this coupon and their valid student ID!
At one time or another, we’ve all seen a dramatic announcement on someone’s Instagram story. Their vague text post reads a little something like this:
Deleting Insta. If you need me and you’re important enough, you have my number. To the rest of you, good luck finding me.
While I enjoy a casual cup of tea, these updates from random acquaintances always fall a little flat. There’s a notion to send a “Hope you’re okay!” DM, but they’re supposedly deleting their account any second now. Then there’s the passive-aggressive ‘Good luck’ that’s a bit off-putting. I can only envision myself responding to something like this if a close friend posted it, to which I would reply, “Lol, delete this.”
Another kind of ‘logging off’ post I’ve seen an uptick of since New Year’s is the foreshadowing announcement, which says, “You may have inside access to my amazing life now, but one day I’ll disappear, and you’ll be left to wonder!” I’ve provided some examples:
Digital Detox posts about leaving social media eventually.
Is it… poetry? Is it… a Divergent aptitude test? Is it a rhetorical speech prompting us, who are tied at the hips of social media moguls, to revert to nature and solitude like the transcendentalists of the 19th century?
Even if we are leaving, we want people to hear our footsteps and notice our absence. It is human nature to want to be seen, to be known, and to want others to care; these desires are the origins of these posts. Even though it’s easy to see through the attention-seeking nature of it all, an interesting conversation is raised about the broader topic of digital detoxes and their effectiveness, or lack thereof.
A digital detox is an active choice to disengage from social media, or even all media-related electronics, for a specific time. The forms of limitations depend on the person. Many people just delete social media off their phones and log back in at the end of the day, week, or month. Other people go as far as not using their laptop outside of work and choosing to read instead of watch TV.
In our chronically digital age, how far does a digital detox really go? And is it more performative than anything? One has to wonder if you couldn’t announce it to the world, and if no one even noticed your absence, would so many people really be preaching about temporarily deleting social media?
Social media posts about digital detoxes.
People go on digital detoxes for various reasons, including to protect their mental health, be more active, live in the moment, and be more grateful. As more users struggle with social media addictions, taking a break from the apps can also help them regain control over their time. While I see the benefits of a digital detox, I feel that the true problem is something deeper.
Perhaps what people need the biggest break from is the facade-filled algorithm, and there are two ends to this dilemma. Suppose you’re constantly seeing videos and pictures of people with their Mercedes, MiuMiu bags, marble kitchens, model boyfriends, and more. In that case, you’ll likely start to think everyone else has hit the jackpot in life, and you’ve been left in the dust. This, of course, can cloud your perception of reality, hurting your mental well-being.
I think Whitney from Momtok really sums up the whole deal.
The bold and the beautiful swarming your feed can do damage, but I’d argue what’s worse is the number of ordinary people closer to home who are constantly faking their realities on the internet, too. Truly, how many times do we have to see a millennial post their scrub partner and/or their feral children when we know, behind half-cracked doors, they’re having affairs and are on the brink–God willing–of a divorce that their friends would be most pleased about? I’m all for showing off your new set of acrylics or your latest winter read, but showing off a life you’re not even actually happy with? Unnecessary, and a bit sad.
Whenever I see someone announce their digital detox, it is usually because someone else online has bothered them, and they want everyone else to know it. They are calling attention to the fact that we’re not our true selves when we’re behind a screen, and sometimes, we’re way worse. Though they may be annoying, they’re not totally wrong. We’re performing for each other, and it’s not the far-away influencers that get to us in the end, but the people we know personally who got the ‘social’ part all wrong. We should know by now not to share everything, but not to masquerade either.
It’s time we start navigating social media with more authenticity and more autonomy (and possibly fewer pictures of babies? Thanks). Next time you’re feeling like taking a digital detox, don’t announce it, but do ask yourself: Is it too much MiuMiu, too many daddies hiding behind alcohol dependencies, or both?
Take a break from your phone and treat yourself to a tech-free spa day at Best MG Spa in Allston! Students get 20% off with this coupon and student ID.
Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is currently a teacher, specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, watching bad television, reading, and writing.
Welcome to a year focused on self-care and wellness, because we need it!
While many, many news articles in the last 10 days have put the tightest knots in my stomach, I’d prefer to focus on things more in my control. An overlooked benefit of living in 2025 is our transparency with personal boundaries and how to use them. So long to the days of people-pleasing to the point of exhaustion; say farewell to conversations about overstimulation being taboo; and, lastly, good riddance to making ourselves uncomfortable for the sake of perception alone.
Over break, I spent some time lounging at hotel pools, which is one of my favorite self-care activities!
Boundaries can look like many things, but for the most part, they are simply the lines we draw for ourselves in terms of our level of comfort around others. They can involve physical contact, verbal interactions, personal space, emotions, romance, time, individual belongings, and even the workplace. Here are some quick examples:
Not wanting a friend, family member, or coworker to speak down to you is a verbal boundary.
Not feeling comfortable when others show up at your house without warning is a personal space boundary.
Protecting your ability to do your work without interference or drama, especially that which extends outside the workplace, is a work-life boundary.
There are all kinds of boundaries, and the best part is that all of them are valid!
I’ll be the first to say that, for the majority of my life, I was undoubtedly an extreme people-pleaser, and this made it very hard for me to set boundaries. I didn’t know how to handle confrontation, and I didn’t like taking risks. What if I tried to set a boundary, and I lost my friend in the process? I had a few lines that couldn’t be crossed, of course, but for the most part, I often held my tongue, fuming in my discomfort, to maintain some variation of peace and order. This was not a win-win situation, as at the end of the day I had gone against my desires, and I’d built up a resentment towards those I’d done so for.
As an introvert, I need a lot of time to decompress. After work and class, I tend not to take phone calls or FaceTime unless there’s an emergency to protect my alone time.
It wasn’t until I left Florida and started working full-time (How I miss the days of living off scholarship money) that I realized how important boundaries are. With most of the sunlit day spent at the hands of the dollar, every ounce of free time I now have is something I cherish to the utmost degree. I have less time to spend at this point in my life, so I want to spend it on the right things. if I let people waste that time, I’ll feel more burnt out and irritated than ever.
The fact of the matter is, as you get older, you learn that the approval of others just can’t come at your sacrifice. Now at 25, I don’t waste my energy trying to prove myself to people who don’t see my worth— and let’s face it, as a woman, I’m just all too tired of that anyway. With all of the trials and tribulations of being a full-on adult, you get to a point in time where a question starts to loom over your head: How much crap are you willing to take, and who from?
While I’d like to tell you the answer is “NONE AND FROM NO ONE,” that’s simply not the world we live in. However, if you start to feel exhausted, angry, or upset consistently because of a certain person or situation, it may be time to set some boundaries.
Another self-care activity I enjoy is cooking. Here, I made fried rice with veggies and tofu!
Setting boundaries has become a more open and honest topic today, but the conversation can still be hard depending on who you’re talking to. Feeling awkward and even guilty is normal, and you can factor in the possibility that the other party will be defensive, too. Nevertheless, it’s important to stand your ground and let it be known that you and your time are valuable! Setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and self-care. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind as you start the new year looking out for you:
1. Know Your Limits
Before setting boundaries, you should take some time to reflect on when you do and don’t feel your best. What drains your energy? What makes you feel respected? Recognizing these limits can help you define clear boundaries before telling them to someone else.
2. Communicate Clearly and Assertively
Be direct and honest when communicating your needs. For example, in work, say, “I’m unable to take on extra tasks this week.” Point-blank. Also, in social or romantic relationships, don’t feel afraid to express what you need to feel comfortable. Any friend or partner will be able to understand that you’re coming from a good place. That conversation could start with something like “I love our time together, but after work, I need space to recharge by myself.”
3. Be Consistent
Enforce your boundaries consistently. If you let them slide occasionally, it can confuse others and undermine your efforts. Gently remind people when a boundary is crossed. While everyone is human and makes mistakes, if someone constantly disobeys your boundaries, it may be a sign that they don’t take you seriously and that your relationship is not mutually beneficial.
4. Learn to Say No
It’s okay to say no without feeling guilty! Practice it in small, low-stakes situations to build confidence. Saying no is an act of self-respect, not selfishness, despite those who may say otherwise.
5. Respect Others’ Boundaries
Respect the boundaries of others, too. One of the best ways to get comfortable with our boundary-setting is to have the ability to recognize when others are setting boundaries. If we can be mindful of those around us, then we can expect them to do the same.
Spend some me-time and get 20% off at Gloria’s Beauty Center in Allston with your student ID!
Brenna Sheets is a graduate student in Emerson College’s Writing and Publishing M.A. program. She is also a teacher, currently specializing in middle school history. Her hobbies include going on long walks, reading and writing, and watching bad television.
I’m in my first semester of Senior year now, and listen— I’m still afraid of the dining hall. Kind of. It’s big, busy, and bright. It’s a space that still feels uncomfortable for me to enter some days. During my first three years of college, when I relied on the dining hall for meals because I lived on-campus, it was sort of like exposure therapy going in and out of that place at least twice a day. Now it takes more of an effort. The dining hall is unfamiliar again. But I push through that, and I go in anyway because I know I can. Because it’s not actually that bad once I get in there and sit down.
A few months into this semester, I’ve managed to find a rhythm. Every Monday I meet some friends for coffee, Wednesday we get dinner, Thursday we hang out after class. I try to make time for work, for the gym, for my school work, for my creative endeavors, and for my friends. All with the help of Google Calendar, of course. Every semester is a bit different. I meet new groups of people, and I experience new things. When I first started college I was 18, and now I can go out to bars on the weekends with those same friends I had back then. Things have changed, and so have I. I spend my time with people I’m comfortable around, and people who make me feel heard. Gone are the days where I forced myself to be around people who don’t respect me or my boundaries, the days where I overextended my social battery and pushed myself past the limit of what I was able to do.
my favorite area to walk around in the morning before class, Beacon Hill. There’s a new cat cafe that just opened up!
What I’ve learned (and am still learning) in my time at school is the importance of communication—clear, concise communication. Specifically, drawing lines when needed. It can be especially difficult, because even when there’s plenty of “how-to-set-boundaries” guides online and in books, ultimately it depends on every person involved. I mean, everyone thinks differently, right? But being able to effectively communicate your boundaries is an essential part of friendship, and it’s something I’m still learning to do. Saying “yes” even when you’re scared can be so important, but sometimes saying ‘yes’ to everything can cause issues. The importance of “no” is just as crucial in friendships. Knowing yourself, your boundaries, your energy and comfort levels—staying aware of what you need will no-doubt help your relationships with other people— can be what makes the difference in a meaningful relationship. Real friends won’t expect you to bend backwards at their every beck and call. Saying “yes” to everything is just as problematic as the opposite—something else I learned in my first years at college. There’s a certain balance that’s different for everyone, but by staying in tune with your body and mind, you’ll be able to figure out what works for you.
Human connections are the most important aspect of life. Even the most antisocial of us are social creatures. Our experiences, how we behave, and how we perceive the world are impacted by who we spend our time around. I’m trying to find the people I’ll spend the rest of it with, the people who make me feel like ‘me.’ I’m heading off into the so-called “real world” in just a few short months. I hear those first few months after college are going to be the “worst of my life,” which of course leaves me trembling in fear. But here’s the thing: sure people say it will be that, but I don’t think it has to be. There’s no point in my life I have to be at right now, or even next June or July—there’s no clear-cut blueprint for the point I’m supposed to be in my life by then. Or ever, really. I might feel lost, I mean, I feel lost now, months before I walk the stage at commencement. But taking a step back, I have to remind myself of what really matters. Life is about the relationships I form in my life, and the people I spend my time around. I think that’s true, at least. I’m only 22, I may need a few more years to figure out the meaning of life. But now I know that I’m capable of overcoming my fears, even if it takes a while. My outlook has changed and is still changing.
Enjoy 20% off at KongDog in Somerville with this coupon and a student ID!
By: Meg Carey
Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.
For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.
To be honest, I’m tired of always being in a transition phase. I’ve been moving from place-to-place, never fully settling down, since starting college. I think it’s something I’ll miss in the future when I feel stagnant, but these last few years I’ve been between school and home and back to school again. It’s gotten pretty exhausting. It’s a different room every year, with different roommates, working a different job depending on where I am. It often feels like as soon as I get a sense of routine, something has to throw it out-of-wack. This year is no different— yet again, I find myself in a different place, trying to figure it all out.
I just recently moved into an apartment, and I’ve been commuting to school for the first time. I’d never firsthand dealt with the technicalities behind apartment renting, so that was a huge learning curve itself, as was figuring out the wifi (and whatever the heck a modem is), gas, electricity, etc.
It’s been a huge adjustment commuting to school, since I have to account for different train times and slow areas on the tracks. Even weeks into the semester, I wind up cutting it a bit closer than I intend to when on my way to class. I’m used to being so close to campus I’m practically able to get to class from my bed in minutes. It’s taking time management skills, which I’m still building up.
I feel like I’m really learning what it means to be “on my own.” Everything is changing, and I’m about to face the most daunting transition phase of my whole life next Spring—graduating college.
Local cat tests out the climb-ability of our new apartment
But for right now, I’m trying to enjoy it. If I think too much about what happens afterward, I won’t be able to stand it. “Where will I live?” “Who will I live with?” “Where will I be working?” They’re all questions on the forefront of my mind, and other peoples’ too—just this last weekend I went home for my birthday and got asked all sorts of questions about my plans post-graduation. But I’ve come to realize I can take things a bit more slowly, going step-by-step. I can enjoy my last year of college and spend time with the people I love, while keeping my future in the back of my mind.
There’s this book my coworker recommended to me called ‘The Art of Now” by Eckhard Tolle. In the book he talks a lot about living in the moment and “letting the universe work for you.” I’ve never given “the universe” much thought, but there’s a lot of really uplifting sentiments that I got from reading the book—and I’m not usually a huge nonfiction fan. It inspired me to make an active effort to stay in the moment, and to stay centered in the present even while applying for internships and jobs in the future. Making sure I see the people I care about, I let my creativity out, and I spend my time mentally relaxing and doing things I enjoy— all while maintaining my grades and doing all my work on-time. It’s definitely no easy feat, but most worthwhile things aren’t easy. I’m trying, at the very least.
Living off-campus definitely makes things feel a bit more distant. Everything and everyone used to feel so close. I’ve noticed it’s taking more effort to stay in touch with friends; it feels like everything’s a bit out of my reach. Still, part of “staying in the moment” to me is staying in contact with people who help me enjoy the moment, like my friends, my girlfriend—the relationships that matter to me.
Things seem to be going by so fast and I’m trying not to forget to enjoy it—even if there’s a lot of new, stressful aspects of my life, and even if I’m not completely sure where I’ll be this time next year. All I can do is be the best “me” now, so I can be the best “me” a year from now, for myself and everyone around me.
Get 10% off at Cambridge Naturals with this coupon and a student ID!
By: Meg Carey
Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.
For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.
Ever since I started at college, I’d had my heart set on this one study abroad program offered. Basically, Emerson owns a castle in Limburg, the Netherlands, where students live and study for a semester. It’s just as strange and simultaneously magical as you’d imagine.
So naturally I applied my Sophomore year for the Spring semester my Junior year. It was far enough ahead that I told myself I could worry about it when it got closer to the time—it was a whole year away, after all! I had plenty of time to figure it out.
But when I got the list of people attending, I read through it and didn’t know a single name, which filled me with utter, unbridled dread. I’d be doing a semester with strangers– completely starting over and far from any familiarity I had with school back in Boston. The fall before I left I started thinking about dropping out. The thought of boarding a plane with a bunch of strangers sent this paralyzing fear through me, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to deal with it all. But I was also thinking I’d never be able to do this again in my life. It was a one-time opportunity.
So I decided to go through with it, because I knew I’d be pissed at myself if I didn’t. How could I let my anxiety win over me like that, and steal away yet another opportunity presented to me?
The view from my room in Well, the Netherlands
The first week abroad was just like orientation Freshman year—everyone rushing to make friends. A lot of people knew each other already too, and had established dynamics—both good and bad ones. It’s a small liberal arts college, you can imagine how it is.
I decided this time I’d hang back a bit. I’d take it a bit slower, even if that meant I wasn’t as “successful” as I wanted to be in making friends.
I realized while over there that I needed to stop thinking about other people and focus on myself. So that’s what I did. Those first few weeks I was in the library by myself until 2 or 3 in the morning every day. I sat there until the night watch came through and asked me to turn off the lights when I was done. For some reason, those are the memories that stick with me after coming home.
I decided in that first week that if I had one friend who I could eat some meals with and go on some trips with, that was enough. And I had made one, someone I sat next to on the plane. As time went on, I naturally found more people. It’s easier to find friends who suit you when you aren’t desperately seeking them out, bending over backwards to try and make them like you. It’s better to take things at your own pace.
From my trip to Amsterdam
In short, these three months abroad were the most fun of my life. Equally as stressful, too, but I’d go back and do it again in a heartbeat. The way you learn about yourself in unfamiliar situations and locations is something that you just have to experience (even if it’s not studying abroad, just going elsewhere and seeing other ways of living—it’s so important). Even if moving around and changing scenes feels overwhelming at times, pushing through that initial fear can be the most rewarding thing in the world. You just have to be wary of your limits and listen to yourself, your body, and your brain. That’s also something I learned while I was abroad. To know when to back out. When my spoons get too full. When to be brave and say “I quit, this is too much for me right now.” It’s a fine line that I’m learning to walk.
Who doesn’t love French pastries? Students get 15% off with this coupon at Le Macaron in Cambridge, MA!
By: Meg Carey
Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.
For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.
I have always been waiting for my happy ending. Yet, it is just that: an ending. I am twenty years old, quietly anticipating the montage at the end of the movie: the one where the best friends hug, the lovers kiss, or the main character finally sees the world. But, what about the before? The inbetween?
When I lived in LA, I could not stop thinking about Boston. From sixteen to nineteen, I felt pulled to the city. I dreamed of shedding my past, losing who I once was, and stepping fully into my authentic self. I felt deep in my bones that Boston was the catalyst. There was a story written for me here, and I had to go read it.
Now that I am here, though, I am presented with one big, fat in-my-face problem. I am scared of change. I like to think I am a mature enough person who doesn’t get freaked out by a six-letter word. In truth, however, I find myself struggling in its grasp, unsure of how to proceed.
How do I be my most authentic self when I am so scared of change? The simplest yet most complicated answer is habits. Our habits dictate who we are. Once we learn a habit, it is hard to forget it. To become our most authentic selves—whoever we decide that is—we must shed not only the fear of change but our habits too.
I love seeing the leaves change!
In the book Atomic Habits by James Clear, there are four laws of behavior change to create better habits and to break an unwanted habit (it is important to not categorize anything as bad or good, as it hinders the ability to reinforce or get rid of the habit).
To create a better habit, Clear writers that we have to: “(1) make (the cue) obvious, (2) make (the craving) attractive, (3) make (the response) easy, and (4) make (the reward) satisfying,” (55). When I was reading Atomic Habits, I placed the book on top of my bed every morning (making the cue obvious). Next, I held onto why I desired to read the book, which made the craving attractive. Thirdly, I set a goal of reading one chapter before bed each night; this was about ten pages. Lastly, I rewarded myself by reading a cheesy romance novel or doing a different, more relaxing activity afterward.
On the other hand, to break an unwanted habit, Clear states that we have to “make (the cue) invisible,” the craving unattractive, the response difficult, and the reward unsatisfying (54). When I want to study, I put my phone in one of my desk drawers (making the cue invisible). I also make sure it is on Do Not Disturb with the ringer off. Then, I make the craving unattractive by making my work environment more attractive: music on my computer, hot tea, comfy clothes, and good snacks. Thirdly, I make the response even more difficult; (placing it in a desk drawer makes the cue invisible and the response difficult). I add screen time locks to apps, and if I really want to pay attention to something, I may delete an app altogether. To make the reward unsatisfying, I remind myself of all the other things I would rather do than scroll on my phone, or how scrolling on my phone has wasted my time in the past causing me to fall behind on assignments.
By using this formula we can break the habit loop (cue, craving, response, reward). Habit loop: we receive a cue from a specific time, location, smell, or other trigger, and receive a craving to complete an action based on that cue. We respond and we receive a reward (like dopamine).
How does this relate to overcoming a fear of change?
Sometimes we change without knowing it. We naturally grow as we get older with little conscious effort. However, we can also take a more practical approach to get past our fear and show up authentically. Changing our habits allows us to incrementally become the person we want to be.
The first step is becoming aware of our habits. The next step is to implement intentions to change the habit (I will do x when the y situation arises). Then, we can start to break the unwanted habit or implement a desired habit using the formula above. However, according to James Clear, “the most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become,” (41).
The Esplanade!
The Power of Visualization:
One of my most recommended books is Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The book dives into the neuroscience of visualization and how we can use it to break free from our past selves, including our fear.
One of the methods Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about is imagining ourselves completing the actions we want to take or wish we would have taken. For example, there have been situations in my life where I wish I stood up for myself, but I didn’t. The memories made me feel disempowered like I would never be able to stand up for myself in the future. So, I meditated on one of those memories. I remembered the feelings, environment, and scenario. Then, instead of letting the memory play out as it usually does, I visualized how I wish I would have responded: standing up for myself respectfully yet assertively. The memory has had less of a grip on me since, and I feel more empowered to stand up for myself in real life.
When visualizing or meditating, we can often get intrusive thoughts. The key is to not engage with them. I like to think of myself standing in a room. Each thought is a bubble that passes through the room. My job, however, is to not touch the bubbles as they pass by me. In other words, we will always have thoughts in our head, but we do not need to engage with each of them, or any of them, especially when meditating.
It is important to have balance, to not get caught up in visualizing what we want to be and what we wish we did. A good way to ground ourselves in reality is to set a time limit. Whether this is an hour-long meditation, or simply while washing the dishes or showering—remind yourself to be in the moment.
Between all of these practical approaches, we also need to accept and acknowledge our fear of change and feel it. We are unable to take any steps forward if we do not feel our emotions whenever they may arise. As mentioned, balance is key. We need to make sure we do not obsess over our perceived failures. Sometimes, saying out loud “I made a mistake and I am not happy about it,” taking a deep breath and choosing not to engage in those loud thoughts can really allow you to move forward unimpeded by feeling overwhelmed.
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Day by day, I am working on becoming my most authentic self. I change my actions, I take on new experiences, and I learn with compassion. Each day, my understanding of myself, my wants, my desires, my dreams, and of course, my dislikes, grows. Each day, I step into that main-character energy and bask in all that life has to offer.
Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.
I’m the king of FOMO, so I’ve been told. I say yes to practically everything, and I do what I think people want me to do. I’ve been trying to work on being realistic about how well my social battery is doing and how I’ll feel after a long night out; my battery drains pretty quickly, after all. My girlfriend always uses this analogy called “spoon theory.” How many spoons are you able to fill with the feelings and thoughts of other people before you overflow? You can only hold so much at the same time, after all.
Whether it’s for your social life, school, or your job, you’re expected to be on-call almost constantly. You’re expected to be accessible to the outside world, even in the safety of your home. That’s the downside to modernity. Well, one of them. Not to get deep here. I think about it a lot, though. How different these times are to any other time on Earth. In my bed I get email notifications on my phone, group chat messages on five different apps, and reminders and notifications clouding up my lockscreen. It can be overwhelming being expected to answer to so many people all the time.
Being exposed to so many people’s lives and thoughts at the same time can be overwhelming. I mean think about it—we humans know so many people nowadays, and are able to keep up with the people we’ve known throughout our whole lives with the tap of a finger. People I haven’t spoken to in years, or ever, still like my instagram posts. I always think, “Is it meant to be like this? Is this good?” I guess there’s no point in asking this question, since it’s just how things are.
Time off my phone and social media helps me stay sane. But on the other side, being able to connect with people is a part of life that’s so utterly essential. My phone undeniably makes that easier. It’s easier for me to keep up with my friends who’ve moved away, my parents after I moved out, and my girlfriend when I studied abroad. Every so often I call my friends who are living in LA to catch up. Being able to keep that relationship despite how many miles are between us is something that’s new to modern times, and is wonderful.
A picture I took on a solo stroll down Commonwealth Ave in Boston
There’s pressure to constantly socialize in college especially. In that first year, there were times where I wouldn’t leave a friend’s room all day, and to be totally honest it’s because I thought that I had to do that. I started feeling drained, like I was losing who I really was to who I was around other people. Constantly putting on a performance without any time to rest, I felt pressure to attend everything I was invited to, even if it felt like a huge hurdle to overcome. There’s this fear of falling behind socially that happens no matter what kind of relationship it is. You don’t want to miss out on important parts of your life, after all. That’s how I felt. I’d never again be right down the hall from my best friends, so I had to make the most of it.
Simply put, that was stupid. I was exhausted and lost myself that year. So here’s my advice to you: deal with the FOMO! It won’t kill you. Lately I’ve been telling myself that. I’ve been skipping parties I don’t feel mentally ready to go to, taking time to walk around the city, and enjoying life all by myself just because I can. A little walk to get a coffee can make or break a day.
Even when I desperately want to attend something because I think it might be fun, I have to be realistic about my expectations. Will I really enjoy it? Are my spoons overflowing?
I’ve been trying to focus on what makes me happy and keeping my priorities straight, because I’ve realized that that is what helps me maintain my relationships. If other people know my limits and are okay with them—well, that’s important in a friend, isn’t it?
Drop by Blick to get a student discount on art materials!
By: Meg Carey
Meg Carey is studying creative writing and publishing at Emerson College in Boston. They love reading and writing sci-fi, horror, and romance (bonus points if it’s all three), as well as poetry. You can find them on instagram @megcareywrites, and substack @megcarey.
For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.
Intern Brenna Sheets from Emerson College is joined by fellow students Amber Call and Grace Rubin to discuss the reality of dating in the digital age. Whether you're an undergrad grinding through finals or a grad student juggling class, TA positions, and a work schedule, adding dating to the mix can feel like an unpaid […]
Intern Brenna Sheets from Emerson College is joined by Cambridge Natural's Emily K. to discuss natural health and wellness in the modern age. They discuss how supplements and herbal teas are being used, marketed, and perceived in our fast-paced, wellness-obsessed society. Is our reliance on these products a sign of empowerment—taking control of our health […]
Intern Brenna Sheets from Emerson College leads today's discussion on self-care and wellness in college. With fellow interns Aidann Gia (Pace University) and Agatha Edwards (Brandeis University), the group discusses what American culture says about self-care, everyone's favorite wellness activities after a stressful week, what gets in the way of students prioritizing themselves, and the […]
Intern Katie leads today's discussion. We talk about the pandemic's effect on college students, since current juniors and seniors' college experiences have been largely defined by the pandemic. We discuss what it was like being sent home from college in 2020, navigating online classes and extracurricular activities, and the lessons we've learned from this whole […]
Welcome back to a new season of the Campus Clipper podcast!Intern Megan leads today's discussion. We talk about the activities that inspire creativity in our cities and how to balance creative hobbies with schoolwork and internships. We also discuss the uncertainty and insecurity that we often feel when putting our creative work out in the […]
Intern Ehani leads today's discussion. We talk about the films, series, books, and other art that has touched our hearts, even when the world makes us want to be dark and cynical. We also discuss what role our passions have in our lives, and what passion means to us. Mentioned in this episode:Call Me By […]
In this episode, our interns talk about going to college in a big city - from the cultural advantages to how they deal with the expensive cost of living. We also share our favorite things to splurge on. Mentioned in this episode:The Whitney MuseumThe Tenement MuseumTips for budgeting (even when you're not the budgeting type)Check out […]
In this episode, our publishing interns talk about why they love writing and how they use writing and creativity as a tool for personal development and mental health. Check out our publishing interns' writing on the Campus Clipper Blog. This episode was recorded at the new East Village, NYC location of Marinara Pizza. Click this […]
