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They love me, they love me not, they love me, they love me not… Although a game introduced to most of us before we could truly comprehend the complexities of love and relationships, it still has its bearing on our lives today, even as college students. Love and relationships are one of the many components of college we fit into our hectic schedules. Along with school, jobs, and friendships, relationships have a strong bearing on the direction of our college lives.
College is an epicenter of stress, laughs, anxiety, tears, and every other emotion possible for a human being; we all know this. Throwing a dating life into the mix is like tossing a handful of glitter onto the already chaotic canvas of our emotions, creating a kaleidoscope of joyous highs and woeful lows!
I can remember how infatuated I became with the person I was talking to. I told my friends, my family, and anyone who would listen, even though there was no level of commitment to one another (rookie mistake, I know). I remember feeling butterflies when his name would pop up on my phone, texting my friends saying that he and I are something special (not the first time this has happened). I had stayed up at night waiting for some semblance that I was noticed, that I was liked. When I eventually woke up in the morning, that same excitement carried over. I started to sleep with my phone right next to me, left my ringer on, and gaslit myself that I didn’t care when in reality, I was elated. It’s normal to feel excited about current and potential relationships, but not enough to side-track your life.
It feels good to be wanted, great even, but not at the expense of your well-being! There was a particular experience during my college dating journey that brought the importance of honesty into sharp focus. During the early stages of one relationship, I found out that my partner hadn’t been entirely forthcoming about the people they were talking to, one of whom happened to be a friend I knew.
This sparked a myriad of feelings, none of which were pleasant. Confusion, disgust, betrayal, to name a few. It was difficult to think that this actually happened to me. You see this in a movie, used to heighten the plot of some cheesy teenage rom-com, but my life is no Netflix special. I didn’t want drama, I didn’t want some confusing, dramatic climax as part of my “movie,” so what was happening?
Following this, I spoke with friends and family to ask the all too familiar question: why me? Almost every answer I received varied slightly from one another, all along the lines of “dump him!” I had hoped they would say something more promising, like “they don’t mean anything to one another; they are just friends,” but me and my naive optimism were soon crushed into the ground.
If I can relay any advice to you that I gained from this tumultuous chapter of my love life, it would be two things: maintain your independence and learn from your experiences. While this might not have been a successful relationship for me, I still gained perspective from it, one that I can apply perspective relationships. Maintaining your independence in college isn’t solely about pursuing your interests and dreams; it’s also about safeguarding your sense of self within a relationship. Your individuality and aspirations are just as important while in a partnership. Remember that even relationships that don’t go as planned are valuable learning experiences (we are in college, after all). Whether they last a lifetime or a season, each relationship is a classroom for personal growth. Reflect on your experiences, both the successes and the setbacks, and use that insight to guide your journey in future relationships. Not every relationship will end with an amicable breakup or meeting your soulmate, and that’s okay. In the end, it falls back to yet another saying we all heard as kids: if you fall down, you dust your knees and get back up (or something along those lines).
Key points:
- It’s natural to feel excited in a relationship, but it’s vital not to let it consume your life entirely. Over-focusing on someone can lead to neglecting your own well-being and other important aspects of your life.
- Every relationship, regardless of its outcome, provides valuable lessons. Take time to reflect on both the successes and setbacks. Use these experiences as guides for your future relationships, helping you make wiser choices.
- Relationships don’t always have a perfect ending. It’s essential to accept the challenges and setbacks as a normal part of life. Just like the childhood saying, when you face obstacles, acknowledge them, learn from them, and then continue your journey with newfound wisdom.
By Juliana Capasso
Juliana Capasso is a junior at Boston University studying Film and Television & Public Relations. Outside of her academic responsibilities, she spends her time exploring the city with friends, reading, listening to music, and journaling.
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Tags: college, college dating, college discounts, dating, Relationships