For many, college represents the first real step into adulthood. It’s a time of personal growth, exploration, and, inevitably, distance from the comfort of home. Whether you’re just a few miles down the road or hours away by plane, the transition is rarely easy. It’s not just about leaving your bed or your family meals behind; it’s about redefining your daily support system. One of the most unexpected challenges I faced wasn’t the academic load or even the social adjustment- it was recalibrating my relationship with my parents.
When I moved from Long Island to Manhattan for college, I initially thought I was too close to home. A simple train ride away, I figured I’d be able to maintain my independence while still dipping back into the familiarity of home whenever I wanted. I had spent that last summer completely surrounded by my family, and I was more than ready, or so I thought, to spread my wings. I welcomed the idea of a break, some distance, a fresh start.
But reality hit hard. My dorm room felt cold and empty the first night. It wasn’t the physical distance that got to me; it was the emotional shift. I found myself calling home far more than I expected. I’d call to ask about little things like laundry or just to hear a familiar voice. It wasn’t my parents checking up on me; I was the one reaching out.And in those first few weeks, I went home three out of the four weekends. Looking back, I realize I was trying to straddle two worlds, not fully committing to either. As much as I wanted to build something new, I couldn’t let go of the old.
But this is where some advice I got during my senior year of high school came back to me. My guidance counselor, Mr. Spenato, told me something that really stuck:
“You will be homesick. Those first few months are hard. Many students go back home thinking they’re not ready, that they should take a gap year. And for a select few, maybe that’s true. But for most? They just need to push through. Call home as much as you want but, stay there. Give it a real shot.”
So I stayed. I still called home often, sometimes daily, but I began putting more energy into life at college rather than life outside of it. I said yes to social events, joined clubs, explored the city, and slowly began building a routine. I carved out a space for myself in a place that initially felt so foreign.
It didn’t happen overnight. But little by little, what once felt strange started to feel normal. My relationship with my parents evolved, too. Instead of being part of every moment, they became the people I updated—my biggest fans from afar. As I grew more comfortable with my independence, our conversations became less about needing comfort and more about sharing my growth.
In hindsight, I see how important that shift was. You don’t lose your relationship with your parents in college;, you simply redefine it. They stop being your constant presence and become your foundation. And through that distance, I found a new appreciation for the bond we shared.
College forces you to change both your environment and how you relate to the people who raised you. It’s a painful process at times, but it’s also essential. You come out of it more independent, more self-aware, and often, with a stronger relationship than before.
So if you’re in the thick of that first semester and wondering whether it gets better, know that it does. Push through the homesickness. Stay. Give it a real shot. And call home when you need to.
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By Logan O’Connor
Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.
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