Archive for the ‘Friendship’ Category

Finding Safety In Your Situation

Thursday, June 13th, 2024

Planting my feet on Columbia University’s campus for the first time is an experience I will never forget. Before me was an oasis of grand buildings decorated with ancient names like Homer or Herodotus that I’d never heard before. Like many college freshmen in New York City, I was moving to a new place with what seemed like the entire world sprawled out before me. That feeling can be exhilarating at times, but daunting during others. Between all of the new faces, foods, and experiences you encounter, creating a community for yourself is a must when it comes to maintaining health and even sanity. At this pivotal moment in one’s life it’s crucial to find safety in your situation. 

A photo of Butler library, showing the engravings of Homer and Herodotus.
Taken on 35mm film.

Honestly, Columbia’s makeup inherently discourages a sense of community: Tucked away in Morningside Heights, the campus removes itself from the hustle and bustle of Midtown, Downtown, and even its neighboring Harlem community. Beyond physical barriers like gates, the Ivy League university maintains its competitive nature. I’ve had countless conversations with fellow classmates who complain of the competition to do well in class. In addition to NYC’s toxic “hustle culture”, Columbia students also experience the pressures of the classroom. This especially applies to students interested in the STEM field, where professors often limit the amount of “A” letter grades they give per section. This can lead to tense relationships between students and classmates, perpetuating an “every man for himself” mindset. Instead of cultivating a community of students that uplift each other, this culture can incite gatekeeping and standoffish attitudes. In my opinion, this is counterintuitive to the nature of a university. This is especially disappointing as Columbia boasts of its location at the intersection of thousands of different cultures and people. Columbia doesn’t always encourage a culture of community, but there is still opportunity for the student to engage with their surroundings! It would be a shame to close oneself off from all that the university has to offer socially, geographically, and intellectually. 

Though it may feel easy to shy away from the whirlwind of life that bustles outside of your dorm room, I argue that you have to intentionally form a safe space for yourself in college. The first few weeks of freshman year are incredibly formative. It’s such a beautiful time of life where most people have no expectations, no friends, and no curfew. Everyone is so open to meeting new people and trying new things. It’s important to lean into this social spirit that possesses everyone at the beginning of the year. The end goal isn’t to make lifelong friends, it’s simply helpful to have people to say “hi” to or invite out for adventures in the city. When you maintain a friendly and open mindset you’re fostering a more secure environment for yourself, and for the general community. Through this mindset, we can discard the idea that one must fail a class for another to pass it. While college is an inherently individualized experience, that doesn’t mean we have to face it alone. 

Forming circles of people with similar interests or characteristics are always a great place to start. Basic commonalities were instrumental in forming new friendships. For me, I was able to connect with other students who had just moved from California to New York. These friendships provided an outlet for me to express my homesickness to someone who understood what I was going through. At the same time, I was also learning more about new people and cultures. Most importantly, we were able to support each other during one of the biggest transitions of our lives through the things we had in common. 

A group photo of some of the friends I made freshman year.
Taken on 35mm film.

I can’t sit here and tell you to hunt down all of the people from your home state on the move-in day. What I’m suggesting is to start with what you know. Whether it be where you’re from, who you want to become, or how you got here, finding friends through basic commonalities is the kickstarter for maintaining sanity at college for the first time.


By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes


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At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Confessions of a People-Pleaser: On Advocating for your Needs and Boundaries

Monday, June 10th, 2024

There is no such a thing as someone with no needs and no boundaries. I used to believe I had none or at least no right to my own boundaries because I was placed in a role of mostly serving others. Specifically, many women are raised to believe this about themselves. And yet, many western cultures have this expectation that women still need to be these boss women with unbreakable spirits. I couldn’t reconcile these expectations before the time came for me to participate in a college lecture or start my first internship. 

I knew I had to dig deep within myself to find out why I had found it so challenging not to sacrifice myself for the needs of other people. To believe that I didn’t deserve to be listened to, helped, or have my identity affirmed as friendship coach Danielle Bayard Jackson loves to say. This was clearly impacting the quality of relationships I had with potential friends, my coworkers, family, and supervisors. And it was only blinding me from the potential I had of fulfilling my dreams and of living the kind of life I desired in the end. 

I mostly talk about boundary-setting with family in the second chapter of my ebook; but I would like to expand this conversation to include friends. Family is more or less our first introduction to how relationships are formed and how people view us. Some of us may have more chaotic families than others and follow scripts that strip us all of our autonomy, but they nevertheless serve as a blueprint for our friendships and other relationships important to us. 

As the eldest daughter in my family with two younger brothers, I was raised to constantly look after others, listen to their troubles, be available for when others had urgent matters to be taken care of, and always be open to visiting and being visited by other extended family members, even when the relationship was clearly one-sided. I grew accustomed to turning to journals and talking to myself to keep me away from the true feelings dying inside of me. And to still feel alive after a busy day of being a machine.

I’ll provide an example of a time I should have set boundaries with a “friend” in college. One woman approached me as I was waiting to meet with my advisor in the hallway. She seemed like the kind of person who was over-eager to talk to any new person she could find. I was surprised that she had ended up in my English Critical Theory class. From that point on, she always sat next to me, always asked me questions when the professor was speaking, called my phone several times in a row after class hours, and even plagiarized parts of an essay of mine. What looked like flattery in the beginning started to look more and more like obsession and jealousy (and she admitted to being jealous too). I should have told her that I clearly didn’t see her as a friend like she did. I should have let her know that she was exhausting me. I needed space, but because of the scripts I was fed as a eldest daughter, I willfully gave myself away to energy vampires like her.

Never been the most comfortable in front of a camera.

This was the script I carried with me into my young adulthood. I second-guessed my intellect during college lectures, which stopped me from participating. I felt guilty from wanting to lean on someone when I felt down because my supposed friends’ problems seemed more important, and I felt ashamed for ever using my free time because it was time I could have used to do more work at home or at the office. We all play roles in every aspect of our lives, but we have to decide what roles are depriving us of our humanity. How can we all get what we need without sacrificing ourselves and/or other people? That is my ultimate question. 

It requires a lonely journey to arrive at the answer simply because we live in a world that encourages us to treat each other like slot machines and less like humans. We all have a responsibility to show up for those we care about and hold them accountable when our boundaries have been crossed. Communicate openly and honestly, respect each other’s right to personal space, and learn the art of self-reliance because that will surely come in handy. It first starts with acknowledging we need things from others and learning to fulfill those needs in a healthy way.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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The “More” That Everyone Needs

Thursday, June 6th, 2024

Big decisions like college commitment can sometimes generate confused or disapproving reactions. Personally, many people from my hometown couldn’t understand the desire to leave my home, the Central Valley, or California at all. Attempts to explain my visions of more changes, discoveries, and experiences were often in vain. My desire to leave home was too complex to express through small talk. Ultimately, it was a feeling that I alone could observe and act upon. Through a frustrating process, I learned to be okay with the fact that not everyone would understand my decision. I had finally convinced myself to chase my dreams, there was no need to prove myself to others.

A photo of myself after my high school graduation. Taken on 35mm film.

In my opinion, appreciating your home is just as necessary as leaving it. These two actions are intrinsically connected; they feed off of each other. Thinking back to my experience leaving California’s Central Valley, I remember feeling conflicted about my departure. My home has nurtured me for the past 17 years, but it had sheltered me from the outside world. Its mountain ranges entrapped me physically and mentally.

A prime example of this entrapment in California was my nit-picky diet. My rotation of meals peaked at a grand total of 5 different foods, usually different variations of bread and cheese. This “5-year-old’s diet” wasn’t based on dietary or allergic restrictions, but rather a psychological barrier that hampered any desire to try new things. Offers of basic foods like chocolate, chicken tenders, or scrambled eggs were immediately declined, leaving no room for consideration or entertainment. I had never deliberately tried those foods before, therefore I didn’t like them: nothing more. Without knowing it, I had developed this instinctive and irrational rejection of trying new things. 

New foods were an obvious example of my mindless rejections in the Central Valley, but in retrospect I notice other instances where I deliberately denied myself growth. Whether it be tasting falafel for the first time, trying on a pair of sneakers “outside my aesthetic”, or even talking to classmates I had never spoken a word to, my mental block prevailed in hindering new experiences. I had cultivated a way of living at home that was satisfactory, but not stimulating. 

For a long time, this life at home was enough for me. To a certain extent, consistency and familiarity is necessary when it comes to growing up. Still, there comes a time where you begin to prod at the edges of your confinement. It might be enough, but you need a “more”. When, how, or why this urge for change happens varies from person to person, for someone else, it might be a conversation that exposes them to their dream job. For me, a college visit to the Ivies instigated my yearning to grow during my sophomore year of high school. Whatever the case may be, it’s important that you react to whatever force is calling to you. Once you understand what you’re drawn to, I urge you to make it a reality.

In the heat of the moment, it can be so hard to stay true to yourself and trust your gut. As I write these words a year after I decided to attend Columbia, I can say with 100% certainty that leaving home was worth it. College offers a universe of new sights, cultures, flavors, emotions, and friends. It offers the “more” that everyone needs. The only catch: you have to take that initial leap of faith to embrace it all. Regardless of whether you have supporters or adversaries, it’s up to you alone to make your dreams a reality.

The final float of the 2023 Macys Thanksgiving Parade.
Taken on 35mm film.

By Thomas Stewart

Thomas currently attends Columbia University and plans to double major in creative writing and human rights. At Columbia Thomas is a staff writer for the City News section of the Columbia Daily Spectator, where he publishes articles that concern the West Harlem community. In his free time, you can find him practicing music or trying new vegetarian recipes.


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For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 5: Service. Friendship, and Equality: Gamma Sigma Sigma

Monday, October 16th, 2023

Despite having my suitemates and a few other friends, I still felt like I hadn’t been able to get the real college freshman year experience. Thanks to COVID, almost all events were on Zoom, including club meetings. There was one campus organization, though, that I was able to feel connected with despite being on Zoom.

In my first chapter, I mentioned my friend Cayleigh who by then was in their Junior year. In Cayleigh’s freshman year of college, they told me that they had joined a sorority…and I was baffled, flabbergasted, astonished, and many other synonyms for confused. Cayleigh and I had always been very similar and, if you knew us, you knew we were definitely not sorority people. This is no hate to those in a sorority, I honestly find your social skills very impressive because I could never do that. I applaud you all (this isn’t sarcasm I genuinely am very impressed by it all and admire it).

Cayleigh and I are both…not as positive or spirited as most sorority people. The closest I think either of us got to a sorority in high school would be watching Legally Blonde (still one of my favorite movies and I watch it at least four times a year). So yeah, when Cayleigh texted me that they had joined a sorority, it was shocking. But then they explained to me what sorority they had joined.

It was then that I learned about Gamma Sigma Sigma, a co-ed service sorority. This Greek organization was not a social sorority, but was focused on service and helping out the community. In high school, I enjoyed my time doing community service and I knew I wanted to continue volunteering in college, so this was perfect. Also it looks incredible on your resume.


Me and my big at a formal event together with some other friends

So, as I was saying before, when I was a freshman, connecting to different organizations was difficult. But, because I had already known Cayleigh before COVID, they had helpfully introduced me to their friends who also happened to be in Gamma Sigma Sigma with them. Because I was able to meet all these amazing people, I felt connected to the organization and wanted to join them not just for the amazing friendships, but also the service opportunities as well.


Me and friends at a service event

Since joining, I have met so many amazing people and I am so grateful for what this sorority has done for me. By the end of my sophomore year I was voted into the position of “Membership Vice President,” which is the person in charge of recruitment. It was my job to encourage people to join our sorority and feel safe and welcomed within the process. Through this position, I met new people and gained several organization and communication skills thanks to all the super exciting paperwork that I had to fill out.

In my senior year, I’m currently finishing my last semester as Membership Vice President and passing the torch to the next person. Next semester, I plan to focus mostly on gaining my master’s degree as I’ll be entering grad school, so I intend on going inactive in my sorority. Meaning, I’ll still be a member but don’t have to attend our weekly meetings or collect service hours. It will be weird, but I feel as though Gamma Sigma Sigma has served its purpose for me.

I met some of my best friends, I got to know the community and help out with service projects, and I became more responsible. If you are stressed about making friends or having a “proper college experience”, whatever that means, I strongly recommend taking a closer look into Greek Life on campus. You may never know what you could find.


Me and my little caught driving to get food

Summary:

  • Because I was a freshman during COVID, all clubs were online and it was hard to meet people
  • My friend Cayleigh introduced me to a few people from the sorority Gamma Sigma Sigma
  • I felt close with everyone in the sorority and decided to join
  • I gained different experiences with the service projects I worked on and becoming Membership Vicepresident

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By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Buy Some Cowboy Boots

Friday, October 13th, 2023

My roommates and I have recently gotten into line dancing at one of the local bars here in Boston. Every Sunday and Tuesday night, there is a bar about a mile and a half from our apartment with a big dance floor and a whole bunch of honky-tonking, boot-stomping individuals dancing their hearts out, brew in hand. The atmosphere is absolutely electric, people sporting cowboy boots and hats, cutoffs, bolos—the whole country thing. It’s awesome.

None of my friends grew up line dancing or doing anything remotely similar. All of us are New England born and raised, never worn a pair of cowboy boots, and had little connection to the southern lifestyle. We didn’t know a damn thing about line dancing. Of course, we know the basics like “Cotton-Eyed Joe”, but nothing like what you see at a country bar like this one. 

I had no idea what to expect the first time we ever went. One of my roommates had gone a few weeks earlier and was really eager to take us as soon as possible, so I was really excited despite having no actual clue what it would be like. I love to dance, so I knew I would have a good time, I just didn’t know exactly what that would look like. Unsure of what to wear, I just ended up going in the jeans and tank top that I had on that day.

The dance floor was already packed by the time we got there, but we claimed some space towards the back of the dance floor and jumped right into the fun. Every thirty minutes they had a tutorial on whatever dance they were playing next, but most of the time you were just expected to automatically know what dance went with which song and how to do it. Some of these dances were really hard, too. We tried to learn some on the spot, but it was mostly just us stumbling around and trying to mirror the people in front of us as best we could without a lot of success. Some we sort of got the hang of, but most we didn’t even come close. A lot of them are super complex, and you just have to come in knowing everything. You are just supposed to know! And we came in, a bunch of city slickers with absolutely no knowledge. We knew that we needed to study up and come back stronger.

We left that night absolutely drenched in sweat. Drenched. Throughout the night we had gone to the bathroom about ten times to wipe ourselves down, but we were sweating. Sweating, dancing our hearts out to songs we didn’t know and moves we couldn’t master. We had the time of our lives, and decided that we absolutely needed to do this every week. A few days later, we headed off to the thrift store to find some cheap cowboy boots. Yes, after one line dancing session, we needed to purchase cowboy boots. We pranced around the boot section and practiced some twirling and sliding to make sure we got the perfect ones. We tried on some cowboy hats, just to get into character, but didn’t end up buying them. We did, however, all leave with a pair of cowboy boots. You gotta play the part, and at this point we were fully committed to our new country lifestyle. When we got home, we watched a ton of tutorials and mastered some moves, so by the next week we were ready to dazzle. 

My mom’s well-loved cowboy boots that she gifted me. These girls have seen some stomping!

Now every week we show up in our cowboy boots, dance the night away, and leave soaking wet. We have the best time, every time. I think that part of the reason that we have so much fun doing this is because we really committed to making it the most full experience it could be. We found something that we all really enjoyed, and we doubled down. We bought boots. We learned the moves. We go every week. We make time to do this together. 

I think that it is too easy to get bogged down with busy schedules and not make enough time to play and have fun. My roommates and I struggle with that a lot. Despite living together, we don’t actually see each other that much. It means that our time together, when we get it, is really special. There have been times where I almost didn’t go because I had too much work or was too tired, but every time I have been so happy that I chose to take a break and have fun with my friends. Yes, school is important, but it is ok to choose yourself and your friends over an assignment. Now is the time to make memories with your friends, so go out! Going line dancing with them every week, making the time to do it together, it makes my heart feel really full. I think that when you find something that you love, people that you love, you should always try to make that extra effort. Devote yourself to the experience. Lean into it. Enjoy it whole. Buy some cowboy boots. 

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By Erin O’Brien


Erin is a student based in Boston, MA studying Communications and Studio Art. She is drawn to telling stories about love and friendship, with themes of humanity and connection at its core. In sharing her personal truths, she hopes to provide readers with nuggets of learned wisdom and college survival skills


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.


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The Universal Language of International Students

Tuesday, October 10th, 2023

Prior to arriving in Dublin, I hadn’t really processed or identified with the idea that I was going to be an international student. Coming from the United States, I recognized that studying in another country that is English-speaking and heavily influenced by American culture is probably not as intense of an experience as studying somewhere that is entirely foreign in both language and culture. However, I quickly came to realize that, even in less obviously foreign places, there are many experiences shared among all international students.

The first example, and perhaps the one that is most difficult to get used to, is the time difference between school and home. Everyone struggles at least a little with homesickness when they go to college for the first time, but there is truly nothing like an 8-hour time difference to throw you into the reality of adulthood. The first few days at school felt a little unreal, but eventually it set in that I wouldn’t be in the same time zone as the rest of my family for another 3-4 months. 

Something that made the experience especially difficult for me was having a boyfriend back home. With busy schedules on both of our ends, and having spent much of the summer together, it was extremely difficult at first to transition to only calling once or twice a week and having the majority of our conversations being just words on a screen. While our communication has strengthened since we first started long-distance, it would be a lie to say it isn’t still difficult to feel such a constant disconnect between us in our periods apart.

What I can say worked best for me to ease the sadness that the distance brings was meeting and spending time with people at school who are going through the same thing. I like to think of it as a sort of universal language between all international students – the homesickness, the struggle to adapt, the stresses of learning how to succeed academically and socially all while in a near completely unfamiliar place. I have found that no matter where other international students come from, there are always things we can relate to each other about over what we have experienced in this new location.

One resource that has been especially helpful to me at Trinity College is the Global Room. The Global Room is a place where many international students can take refuge to ask questions, attend informational events, and even celebrate the holidays of their home countries. One of the first times I visited the Global Room was a Thanksgiving party (a holiday I definitely didn’t realize I’d be going without for a few years). There, I was able to meet many fellow Americans and bond over some familiar holiday foods and gratitude activities.

A craft I did through the Global Room!

I’ve also learned about other cultures through a variety of Global Room events, such as an Irish trivia night and a Teru Teru Bozu-making class (Japanese rain dolls). There is something quite special about bonding with other international students over a shared lack of knowledge about the new place you’re in. Many of my first conversations with my current closest friends revolved around the unpredictable Dublin bus schedules and the expensive prices of toiletry products at Tesco. Even better, as you broaden your network of international friends, you in turn get to learn more about where they are from and what their lives are like back home. 

Overall, whether you are an international student or not, I think there is much room for bonding and meeting people over the shared unfamiliarities of university. Maybe you have the same boring professor, or you’re both struggling to finish the same assignment. Instead of lingering in the difficult and frustrating parts of the college experience, you can use them as opportunities to seek out positive relationships, which will help you further down the road in navigating your path.

Summary:

  • Being an international student can add further difficulties to navigating university life
  • I struggled with the time difference between school and home, especially with having a boyfriend back home
  • Making connections with other international students helped me feel more grounded in my new community
  • The Global Room was a helpful resource to meet more international students and learn more about Irish culture
  • Anyone, international student or not, can form new friendships through bonding over shared struggles

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By Bella Littler

Bella is a second year film student within the Trinity College Dublin / Columbia Dual BA program. She grew up in Iowa, but is currently living and studying in Dublin. On the average day, you can find her watching obscure movies, going on aimless walks around the city, or raving about any and all Taylor Swift lyrics.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Long-Distance Friendships

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023
Photo by Toni Cuenca on Unsplash

The hardest thing about starting college, I think, is leaving your friends from home and starting from scratch. I love meeting new people, so when I started college, I met a lot of people and made a lot of friends quickly. Even though I loved my new friends, I couldn’t help but grieve my high school friendships. I missed the consistency of seeing them every day in class or at lunch, and I didn’t know how to translate that connection into something that worked long distance. I was afraid of growing apart from them.

It is natural to feel this way. After all, you have relied on this structure for years, so naturally your friendship will have to adjust to this change. Friendships go through changes all of the time. One of my best friends ever is a girl that I met in seventh grade drama class. We were instantly best friends, attached at the hip, matching “best friends forever” Claire’s necklaces and all. It didn’t take long for our friendship to blow up—over what exactly? Who knows—and we became enemies as quickly as we became pals. After taking a few months apart, resilient as ever, we were friends again by eighth grade. It is something we laugh about often, how our friendship has survived so much turbulence, but we are stronger because of it. 

The summer before our senior year of college I went over to her house to go swimming. The weather that summer had been extremely temperamental, either having periods of heavy rain or periods of extreme heat, so any fair weather day like this one was a treat. We sat in tube floaties, face to face, holding our floats together by the handle so we wouldn’t drift apart. We talked about people from high school, roommate drama, hook-ups. Our friendship survives mostly on these silly types of conversations, nothing too serious. Then we started talking about how we had changed so much since middle school, how our friendship has survived so many versions of ourselves, how grateful we were to know each other. We talked about post-grad, how daunting it is to be faced with what’s next, how to find your purpose, your passion. We didn’t often have conversations like that. We learned a lot about each other just floating around together in her backyard that day.

By the end of the conversation we had come to the realization that our years away had actually made our time together more valuable, how we were growing together and our friendship was actually evolving in tandem. Somehow, after ten years of friendship, we were closer than ever, and we parted feeling like we knew each other better. The way we had changed as people actually made us more suited to be better friends to one another, deeping our friendship from middle school best friends to adult best friends. It felt like our friendship had gotten stronger because of the way we had grown as people.

So I guess there are a few things to take away here:

It is totally valid to be sad to leave your friends, but the truth is that distance doesn’t actually kill friendships. The love hasn’t gone anywhere, it is actually just spreading— across cities, state lines, wherever you end up! Call them, go visit, be happy that they’re thriving somewhere new. And honestly, hanging out with your friends’ new friends can be awesome, so don’t be afraid to share the love.

Keep in touch as much as you can, but try to be flexible. Sometimes I like to schedule a call with a friend I haven’t talked to in a while, other times I just try my luck on my walk home from class, or while I’m making dinner. Not everything has to be so formal, even a fifteen minute chat can do wonders. Either way, just pick up the phone and make something happen! 

You don’t have to be afraid of change. Changing is awesome, it just means that you are getting to know yourself better. If you feel you and your old friends are growing apart, that isn’t always a bad thing. The love will always be there, but it is ok to let go of something that is not true to you anymore. Hang onto each other’s floaties, but understand that drifting is natural. It is ok to miss people that you have grown away from, but trust that the current will take you where you need to go. 

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By Erin O’Brien


Erin O’Brien is a student based in Boston, MA studying Communications and Studio Art. She is drawn to telling stories about love and friendship, and is a firm believer that being sappy and loving big is never a waste of time. She loves watching movies and snuggling up with her dog, Jeffrey.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Finding Your Mentors

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023

One piece of advice that I received from nearly everyone prior to starting college was to make connections with my professors as much as possible. Networking and establishing relationships with professional mentors are an especially important aspect of being a film student, but something that I was unsure of how to approach as a relatively introverted person.

The difficult part about college is that it is more valuable and important to make those professional connections than ever before. However, it is also way more difficult to get to know your college professors than, for example, your high school teachers. It is entirely dependent on you to take the initiative in reaching out to professors, whether through attending their office hours or sending them an email. It is a lot easier said than done.

For one, professors can be incredibly intimidating when you only know them in a classroom setting. In my case, while I’m not in the largest course at my college, the film professors are still lecturing in front of 70+ people every week. They don’t know your name, they don’t know your interests or your abilities, they don’t even know if you’re attending class every week or if you’ve never shown up. So how in the world are you supposed to make yourself known and stand out from the crowd?

My experience reaching out to a professor for the first time was more one of desperation than anything. In my second semester of my first year, my mental health was at an all-time low. I was questioning every class I was taking, how I was spending my time, and whether or not I was on the right path for where I wanted to be in the future. On a phone call with my dad, I was going through the usual complaints and frustrations I had been expressing the entire semester, when he suggested having a conversation with one of my professors.

Now, I was very skeptical of the idea at first. I had never emailed one of my professors about anything other than assignment details, let alone had a sit-down conversation with one. The conversation would also essentially entail me telling my professor straight to their face that I wasn’t enjoying the subject they basically have dedicated their entire life to…scary. But, with more than a little pressure from my parents, I emailed a few of my film professors asking if any of them would be willing to have a short conversation with me about my studies.

I arranged a meeting after class with one professor and was practically shaking the entire class with fear of what was to come. To make things worse, at the end of the class, the professor read my name out loud in front of everyone. It would be an understatement to say my confidence in the upcoming conversation was low. But it was too late to back out, so I shakily walked up to the front of the class while everyone else filtered out the back. 

My professor invited me to sit down, and I was surprised right off the bat by how friendly and understanding she was about my situation. I expressed how I wasn’t feeling challenged by how introductory all of my classes had been up to that point, and how there were so many other subjects I was interested in that I was afraid I had chosen the wrong one. 

She wasn’t upset or taken aback by my feelings, and she wasn’t even entirely surprised with how underwhelmed I felt by everything. She reminded me that first-year classes are inevitably going to be introductory, and that if I can stick through the beginning, there will be many opportunities further down the line to find offshoots in film studies that connect with my other interests. She told me about some future research opportunities I could get involved in, as well as recommending some additional readings to give me deeper insight into the kinds of things we were learning about in class.

Thanks to my professor’s advice, I started watching more material outside of class assignments to further explore my other interests!

Overall, I walked away from the conversation feeling a lot more confident in myself, in my path, and in my abilities to seek out resources to make my college experience right for me. I was proud of myself for making the effort to reach out and ask for help and was delightfully surprised by how willing my professor was to give me advice. 

I think it’s important to remember that professors were once students too. In fact, you could even consider professors to be life-long students, since they are constantly engaging with and learning from the information in their field. They know what it’s like to struggle with learning things, or to struggle with feeling like you’re not learning enough, so don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it.

While your early college interactions with professors can help you capitalize on your active college experience, the relationships you form early on can also help you with future things like research opportunities or recommendation letters. From my experience, I would recommend reaching out to professors for the first time when you feel like you could benefit from their support in their studies. That way, when the time comes that you are looking for a project to work on or a reference for an application, the relationship has already been formed naturally instead of purely on a transactional level.

One last point I’d like to stress is that mentors can be found everywhere. Professors aren’t the only option – there are counselors, clubs, administrators, and even visiting speakers that can help give you advice and support in your studies. I can guarantee you that, although it’s easy to feel alone, there are so many people out there who have felt and gone through the exact same things as you. Instead of being intimidated by their success and status, remember that they were in your position once too, and that is exactly why they are the perfect people to go to for advice.

Summary:

  • I was intimidated by reaching out to professors at first
  • After a period of constantly questioning my pathway, my parents encouraged me to ask my professor for advice
  • I was nervous but surprised by how kind and helpful my professor was in our sit-down conversation
  • Establishing professional connections in a natural way can help you down the line in your career
  • Mentors can be found all throughout the college community

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By Bella Littler

Bella is a second year film student within the Trinity College Dublin / Columbia Dual BA program. She grew up in Iowa, but is currently living and studying in Dublin. On the average day, you can find her watching obscure movies, going on aimless walks around the city, or raving about any and all Taylor Swift lyrics.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter 1: Welcome to College

Tuesday, September 26th, 2023

Chapter 1

(The view from my freshman-year dorm) 

“Should I wear this top with jeans or overalls, Mom?”

At the time, that question felt far more important than it should have. I was getting ready for college orientation, but the real concern was not what I was wearing. It was everything else. How would I make friends, and how do you even begin conversations with strangers? What happens if the classes are harder than expected, or if I cannot keep up? Those thoughts followed me onto campus, lingering beneath the surface even as I tried to appear composed.

What stayed with me most in those early days was the contrast. There was excitement in the unfamiliar, but it was paired with a quiet and persistent uncertainty. Moving from Boston to New York City was not drastic, yet the distance felt significant. Home was no longer thirty minutes away, and the small comforts I had taken for granted shifted in subtle but noticeable ways. My bed shrank to a twin XL, and my room, once a private space, was now shared with two people I had never met.

Understanding college in theory turned out to be very different from living it. In those first weeks, my perspective shifted from day to day. A good conversation or a strong grade could make everything feel manageable, while a quieter day could bring back a sense of isolation. Walking through the halls, I noticed how easily others seemed to connect, laughing in groups or lingering in conversation. That ease felt distant to me, something I had not yet figured out how to access.

It is unsettling to be confronted with the reality of who you are and how you are perceived. In my case, that awareness made me want to change almost everything about myself. What grounded me, though, was a quieter realization. I would rather be fully known and accepted for who I am than briefly liked for a version of myself that is not real.

That tension showed up most clearly in the spaces that were supposed to feel familiar. I had assumed my roommates would become an immediate source of comfort, but that expectation did not quite hold. They formed a connection with each other that I struggled to step into, leaving me feeling slightly removed from my own living space. At the same time, my classes failed to ground me. Whether I was sitting in Intro Italian or trying to follow along in Anthropology, I often felt detached from the material. I continued to attend, but without any real sense of engagement.

Change, when it came, was not immediate. It happened gradually, almost without me noticing at first. I began talking more with one of my roommates, Stacy, and what started as casual conversation slowly became something more consistent. One night, I offered her some of my dinner, paneer tikka masala, and that small moment opened the door to something larger. We started to spend time together more naturally, grabbing lunch, walking through Lincoln Square, and settling into an easy rhythm. What had once felt distant became familiar, and eventually, close.

Around the same time, another connection formed more quietly. I found myself speaking more with the girl I sat next to in Anthropology. I had noticed her before but never worked up the courage to say anything. Once I did, the conversation came easily. Her name was Jenna. We had passed each other in the halls before, but never spoken.

What became clear over time was that none of these relationships developed instantly. They were not the result of any deliberate effort to force connection, but rather small, consistent interactions that accumulated into something meaningful.

With those connections came a shift in how everything else felt. The environment became less overwhelming, my classes more manageable, and the spaces I moved through each day less anonymous. I no longer felt like I was observing from the outside.

Looking back, nothing changed all at once. It came together gradually, through small moments that, over time, made the unfamiliar feel like something I understood.


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By Juliana Capasso

Juliana Capasso is a junior at Boston University studying Film and Television & Public Relations. Outside of her academic responsibilities, she spends her time exploring the city with friends, reading, listening to music, and journaling. 


 For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful ebooks, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2023.

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Chapter 2: Hi, I’m Mia! Please Be My Friend!

Monday, September 25th, 2023

Once I had officially decided to go to Pace University, the next step was to find friends and someone I feel comfortable to live with. Pace has a designated building where freshmen live, so I couldn’t live with my friend since they were two years older. Even if I could, though, I didn’t want to. I knew that if I chose to live with someone I already knew, I would be too scared to branch out on my own and I wanted the independence of finding my own friend.

Part of my Facebook post from the Pace Facebook group for incoming freshman

So for the first time in several months (maybe even years), I opened up Facebook and edited my profile before searching for Pace University Facebook groups. The groups are student-made as a way to find fellow incoming classmates and potential roommates. I found two groups, joined both, and began adding almost everyone I thought wasn’t intimidating on Snapchat. Honestly, it felt like a dating app. Sometimes I would hit it off with people, and other times we would say hi and then instantly stop talking.

By June I was getting nervous, because the deadline for finding a roommate was coming up and I still hadn’t really clicked with anyone. It was also important I felt comfortable in my own room and because it was 2020, I wanted to make sure I was living with someone who respected COVID guidelines.

Me and Kathy after we both moved in

A few days into June I received a DM (direct message) from someone on Instagram. At first I was confused as to who this person was, but then I realized they found me from the Pace Facebook group, so I responded to her message. Instantly we clicked. We had all the same interests, were both nervous but willing to meet new people on campus, and were careful with COVID. Kathy (her name) and I ended up chatting everyday and eventually found the rest of our suitemates (the freshmen building had suites instead of just a classic two person or three person dorm).

With my suitemates and I texting each other every day, the idea of going to college seemed less intimidating now that I had more than just one friend. I was beginning to get excited as we all texted each other about what one person was packing, what movies we would watch on movie nights, and what clubs we were all interested in.

Me and a couple of my suitemates

If you’re an incoming freshman, I strongly recommend searching for any type of online group to meet new people. Having some form of established relationships will definitely help ease the anxiety of moving away from home. Even if you eventually find new friends or fall out with the old ones, you will always still have that bond with your freshman roommates. Nothing can take away that old nostalgic feeling of moving in for the first time and taking your first steps into the real world with these people. 

My suitemates and I would attend different events on campus, a lot of them virtual, some of them with social distancing, and together we all found friends. To this day, I’m still friends with my freshman year roommate and suitemate, and I’m forever grateful for them and the steps of courage we took together. We don’t live with each other anymore, but we still support each other and hang out together when we can.

However, I think my suitemates and I did have one unfair advantage that helped us grow close early on. Normal suitemates or roommates have a special bond because they are entering the real world together, but my suitemates and I actually didn’t get to take any steps outside because for two weeks we were all locked in our suite thanks to an increase in COVID cases. That’s right…in October, the entire freshman building got put into lockdown, forcing everyone to stay in their rooms for a whole two weeks.

To this day we still make jokes about how we were all trauma bonded because of this. We had to stay in our rooms, have crappy food delivered to our dorms, and watch movies almost every night to keep us from going insane. COVID may have made our freshman year difficult, but it also gave us a suitemate bond like no other.

I’d also like to mention the fact that, despite my suitemates and I helping each other out with meeting new people, my specific roommate Kathy was like a professional “friend maker.” Almost everyday she was introducing me to someone new. Thanks to Kathy, I met some of my best friends, one being my current roommate in my senior year!

My current roommate (middle), one of my best friends (on the right), and I on Halloween 2020. We all connected thanks to Kathy!

Another tip if you’re an introverted freshman like I was, make sure to meet someone who is very extroverted like Kathy is. This way, you’ll always be meeting someone new and each day will be exciting, and really that’s what every day of your freshman year should feel like. Even if you’re dealing with a global pandemic.

Summary:

  • Why Facebook groups are helpful before going to college
  • Go to events and clubs on campus! It’s the best way to meet friends!
  • Freshman year is all about excitement and meeting new people, don’t be afraid to try new things

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By Mia Ilie

Mia Ilie is a student at Pace University, graduating in May 2024 with a degree in Writing and Rhetoric and a focus on publishing. She grew up in Rockland, New York and is currently living in Westchester, New York where she attends school and works at a local bookstore. You can always find her with her nose in a book or screaming to Taylor Swift with her friends.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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