Posts Tagged ‘unreliable’

How Not to Do Anything: An Expert Guide – How Not to Be Relied On

Saturday, November 5th, 2016
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Despite all of your finest efforts to shirk responsibility and lead a duty-free life, if you have any friends or family, you are constantly at risk of having someone try to foist some of their own well-earned obligations on you. Even if you diligently avoid the serious commitment of having a pet or a child, an aunt, neighbor, or friend can swoop in at any moment and ask you to be a good nephew/neighbor/friend and take care of their poodle or their daughter for anywhere from a few minutes to a few days. Such a request might appear perfectly reasonable to a “busy” person, since you seem to have so much time on your hands, but who are they to presume that you can act as their butler on a moment’s notice? You had some big, um, plans for this week.

Like most of the advice in this tome, the solution to this problem is rather obvious: if you don’t want to be relied on, simply be as unreliable as possible. Assure (“yeah, sure”) your neighbor that you’ll feed his fish each day that he’s away, but don’t worry too much about the details; fish don’t need to eat every day, and a week’s worth of food can be supplied at one time. If, God forbid, your neighbor’s fish tank were to turn into a noxious wastebowl, or an unlucky fish were to die, then you could rest easy knowing that you’d never again be asked to take care of anything for your neighbor.

At times when you can’t exactly blow off an inherited task, for instance, when you’re expected to watch a child, tardiness can be an excellent way of saying “don’t count on me” without doing anything really heinous or taking out your frustration on the child, who is of course not responsible for his or her own existence. Most parents will go so far as to give up on free babysitting if they can’t be sure that the babysitter (you) will show up even remotely on time. The really essential thing is not (necessarily) to do a terrible job whenever asked to do something for someone else, but to plant a sweet little seed of doubt in the minds of those who may try to foist a task on you. It shouldn’t be too hard to find someone who’s more reliable than you are.

By Aaron Brown

Aaron Brown was one of the Campus Clipper’s publishing interns, who wrote an e-book “How Not To Do Anything: An Expert Guide.” If you like Aaron’s writing, follow our blog for more chapters from his e-book. We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

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