Remember the “dating” habits of junior high? Do you like me? Check yes; check no. There was no dating, simply a quick glance from across the room and zip bam boom the two of you are all wet puppy eyes and picking out fine china. Later on, things got a little more complicated and I’m not quite sure what did it. Broken hearts, realism, cynicism, or maybe residual scarring from that fifth grade beau that never shared his PB & J. Occasionally two friends get together after a long time of “hanging out” or that one night stand turns out to be the real thing and nothing like its original shape, but for the most part we have to date. Dating is a wonderful thing, resembling a sort of salad bar. With no commitment, a clean slate, and a night out, there’s nothing to lose. Here are some fun (and hopefully helpful) little tips for a first date:
Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy: You’re most likely going to date a lot, and I highly recommend it, before you even settle into a committed relationship, so take it easy on the first date. Don’t try so hard to impress or to tell your date every tiny detail about yourself. The great thing about getting to know someone is, well, getting to know someone. All the small surprises are the fizzy bubbles that swim up your nose when you drink a soda, so don’t gulp it all down- you’re almost certain to get sick. Try not to summarize yourself, they need to form their own opinion of you; they’d rather read the novel than get the cliff notes. Instead, talk about things you enjoy, things you have in common, or even something quirky that pops into your mind. Breathe, and keep things simple. Don’t begin with the Spanish inquisition, it was uncomfortable in the fifteenth century, and that hasn’t changed. You should be interested in your date, curious about them, but you’re not conducting a job interview.
Forever: This is a first date, repeat that to yourself every time you begin imagining how he’ll look in a tuxedo or if your mother will like him. This isn’t a habit for all of us, but I’ve encountered a large number of friends, worsening with age, that try to map out their relationship early on and it almost always ends up in tears and Haagen-Dazs. I once had a friend imagine the eulogy he would deliver at her funeral after having been married for forty years (after a first date); it ended in sweatpants for a week and boxes of raw brownie batter.
Don’t expect everything to be perfect, and don’t expect a commitment, just enjoy your time together. Think of it as only happening for one night, plan on never seeing this person again, and if it works, it works, if not, you can be thankful for the good time or relish in the relief of never having to see them again.
Liar, Liar: How many times have you caught yourself saying something that you know is a grandiose embellishment or not even remotely true to someone you just met? This is a time when honesty is the best policy. If you didn’t climb Everest, save a baby from a burning building, or attend Yale, don’t say you did. It’s true, you may never see this person again, but I’m a firm believer in the universe’s sense of humor, and a liar is the prime source of entertainment for the powers that be. If you do end up in a relationship, how embarrassing is it to be caught when they realize that you don’t spend much time working out like an Olympic athlete should. Be you, because if they don’t like who you are, do you want to be in a relationship with them? There is no amount of rhetoric that should make you be a different person.
Mind Your P’s & Q’s: This seems like an obvious tip, but a lack of manners is the culprit in most bad dates. Unless you’re at a restaurant where the culture requires eating with one’s hands, use utensils. Gentleman, you don’t have to throw your coat over a puddle or offer grand (sometimes terrifying) gestures, just open a door or two. Also, a guiding hand on the small of her back is a risk, but sometimes a real winner. Ladies, smile! Don’t be the dining dead, offer those ivories up as part of the package, because smiling releases endorphins and it’ll boost your good time vibes. If you eat in a restaurant, be nice to your server. Yes, they signed up to wait on people, but they did not sign up to deal with condescending jack wagons all night. These are general rules that should apply to every day, but for the people out there not utilizing them, try starting with a first date.
Most importantly, remember to have a good time! Make fun plans, because going on a date is the best excuse to do something exciting. In a relationship, you have to enjoy doing things together, and an active date can sometimes be the best way to limit verbal diarrhea. Love isn’t all drama, it’s predominately giggles, so go out and get yourself some laughing fits.
Written by Ashley Teal, Campus Clipper Blogger
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