Posts Tagged ‘Love Advice’

A Good & Bad Relationship

Tuesday, February 16th, 2021

We can all agree that the idea of a relationship sounds fun and intriguing, but what about the negative side of it? Not only have I seen high quality partnerships, but also toxic relationships– both in real life and online. I understand that people begin the love journey on good terms because they’re genuinely infatuated with one another and can visualize a future together. However, that equal level of attraction and commitment is subject to change; one person could grow more distant or display overbearing deeds, in fact it may be both parties corrupting the relationship. It’s important to keep a couple of points in mind to distinguish between a toxic relationship and a normal relationship. For example, if there are a few disagreements or altercations from time to time then that’s perfectly fine and not much to worry about. We’re all going to encounter conflict eventually, which is part of life and the solution to this is communication with your partner. A stable and beautiful relationship is what we’re all striving for and it takes a great deal of diligence to accomplish that. In the grand scheme of things, note that the quality of one’s relationship is a reflection of their life. 


Oftentimes, we idealize love as the center of happiness and pleasure but don’t see the depths of it. What we don’t know for certain is that the person on the inside matches up with how people see you on the outside, meaning that a whole new persona can be spawned in a different setting. What I mean is that someone could be compassionate and sweet at home, but be the total opposite outdoors through impudent behavior. If you witness something out of the ordinary then please stay on your guard and try to remedy the circumstances, take action before it’s too late. An extensive study with a duration of 12.2 years deduced that those in toxic relationships are more prone to heart problems than counterparts whose relationships are blossoming. I can only provide you with guidelines and insight on what an excellent relationship looks like and the type of relationship you should escape from. Nevertheless, I can’t decide what works best for you as you’ll have to take responsibility and rely on your own judgement.

https://www.powerofpositivity.com/11-signs-relationship-well-even-dont-feel-like/

Signs of a Good Relationship

  • Exchange of Positivity: Having a positive outlook in life goes a long way in creating success; as such, you’ll be able to draw more attention and find new opportunities. Producing that same type of energy will make your significant other feel more special and appreciated. For instance, you can praise them by expressing how much they mean to you. As humans, we seek validation and this applies to your significant other as well so try to brighten up their day.
  • Trust & Support: The structure of a good relationship stems from being able to trust each other and having each other’s back. Your partner should feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and be open to having conversations even if the topic may be sensitive. When you let your walls down, it’s okay to exhibit a vulnerable side of you since the level of love and reverence is mutual. 
  • Affection: It’s crucial to be open to intimacy, they’re fundamental to a romantic relationship. Whether it be physical intimacy or sexual intimacy, the aspect of touching one another is an emblem of the fondness you have for them; they’re all topics that you’ll eventually have to dive into if you wish to sustain the relationship. What’s more is that physical touch is actually one of the five love languages. It doesn’t have to be the sexiest thing in the world, but please give them hugs, hold their hand, kiss them, and put your hand on their shoulder. I’m not implying that PDA is the goal here, but just be considerate and know your timing if you’re surrounded by crowds of people.

Red Flags

  • Secrecy: Now you don’t have to inform your partner everything that happens in your day, what I’m alluding to here is deception. Actions such as lying and attempting to cover up a story will inevitably impair your relationship and lead to a big debacle. For instance, if you suspect that your partner is being protective of her phone or computer then there’s obviously something wrong. Cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend is very common in society and it’s all the more reason to keep a vigilant eye when something seems peculiar.
  • One-sided & skewed: A relationship comprises two individuals who choose to walk life together and enjoy each other’s company. If one person is making it all about themself while neglecting the other’s wants then walk the other way because it’s called being egotistical, where’s the mutual respect in this? There should be a sense of compromise, one party benefiting over the other isn’t going to work. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you because it’s unethical and you deserve a whole lot better! 
  • Physical & Emotional Abuse: The thought of being tormented can put you in a dark hell if you don’t find an exit. If you believe your partner is deliberately hurting you mentally or physically, be assertive and stay on your toes and I’d say to get as far away as possible and inform authorities; don’t give them the benefit of the doubt and be remorseful if he or she attempts to justify their behavior. Physical acts of violence include choking, pushing, and anything that inflicts damage to you. Meanwhile, emotional abuse can take shape verbally through humiliation, ultimatums, coercion, and more.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Is Love Worth It?

Wednesday, February 10th, 2021

Life can feel like a mysterious puzzle with pieces waiting to be discovered and placed together. Some believe that our destiny is handed to us at the time of our birth, but do we really know that for sure? It is an innate part of human life to yearn for affection, validation and pleasure. We often pause and reflect to wonder if we’re supposed to live life alone, scary as it may sound. Or should we invest time towards finding a partner to maximize what life has to offer like romance? Love is a subjective term, the general consensus is that love takes form when one feels a profound level of attentiveness, care, and contentment towards another person. Love doesn’t have to necessarily be sexual since it can also manifest in a platonic manner to highlight a powerful friendship. With that being said, it’s solely up to an individual to decide whether he or she desires a partner regardless of their sexual orientation. It’s also crucial to keep in mind that relationships don’t always work out and that’s perfectly normal, there are plenty of potential soulmates out there. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea. What many tend to forget is that not having a partner at a certain timeframe or age is justifiable, there’s no reason to be ashamed of it. Truth be told, some may have no adversities capturing love while others are trapped in a cycle of feeling frustrated because of attributes like appearance, personality, or even lack of experience. As unsettling as it might sound, the dating scene is an aggressive competition that requires effort; the objective is to market yourself as a suitable and worthy candidate to the best of your abilities. At the end of the day, it’s imperative that you know your worth and not be anybody’s second choice; a forced partnership isn’t going to do any favors as well, it’s as awful as a fake smile.

https://dating.lovetoknow.com/Loving_Couples

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Philia

Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Courtesy: Independent

Courtesy: Independent

“I prayed for the city to be cleared of people, for the gift of being alone,  a-l-o-n-e: which is the one New Yorker prayer that rarely gets lost or delayed in channels, and in no time at all, everything I touched turned to solid loneliness.” J.D. Salinger

New York can be though on you but NYU could be a lot tougher. If you come from anywhere around Asia or the countryside, you would know that nosy neighbors are bats that gained bad reputation arising from the folklore that ties them to vampires and Dracula. In terms of usefulness, bats are prime agents of pollination and seed dispersal. Often devalued, most bats are not blood sucking creatures but a friend to the mankind: killing insects those of whom are threats.

Nosy neighbours are skilled at dispersing gossip. But drifting away from the reputation of gossipy housewives in their mid-forties, neighbors drop your kids, bring you food, help you when you are locked out or when you run out of sugar.

In New York, you don’t speak to your neighbors, it’s an unspoken ground rule that everyone seems to abide by. You don’t greet them. You don’t know them. It isn’t uncommon to live in your dorm room without speaking to your suite mates for days.

Elevators give you stress and phones without signals are awkward getaways. More than anywhere in the world, New York is where you most need a friend.

My classmate, Aerin Reed comes from a small town known as Eastern Connecticut where the only revolutionary thing that has happened in the last few years is the renovation of the Eastern Village Store. Moms and gossips and hitting deer accidentally are as much a part of her childhood vicinity as are bagels, frowns and subway horrors in New York.

“My town has a thousand people more than NYU’s graduating class,” Reed said while describing her transition from a traditional small town to the city that is overly crowded even on Sundays.

Unlike her friends and classmates, Reed never dreamed of studying in a traditional campus setting, which made NYU one of her first choices. “I remember walking down the road after welcome week and thinking I do not know anyone on the street,” quite unlike the million recognizable faces she would encounter while driving a car in the part of the world which she calls “home.”

At this exact moment what she would have missed is a friend. At this exact moment she needed the kind of love Greeks call “philia.”

Philia was first used by the Greek philosopher Aristotle, who defined it as brotherly love or love shared by friends. The English language does not have a separate word for what Aristotle believed to be unconditional and pure i.e. “with good reason,” so we shall do what we always do: follow the path lead by Greeks.

New York Times columnist Frank Bruni recently wrote a column titled, “The Real Campus Scourge,” which discusses the overwhelming theme of loneliness in a campus setting. “In a survey of nearly 28,000 students on 51 campuses by the American College Health Association last year, more than 60 percent said that they had “felt very lonely” in the previous 12 months. Nearly 30 percent said that they had felt that way in the previous two weeks,” he wrote. All these folks deprived of Philia.

In New York, everything is always on the extreme as is this feeling of loneliness. No amount of Rainbow themed Starbucks or insta worthy cookie doughs can fill the void that only friendship can fill. But my dearest, you are not alone in this. New York has that power over you but you have something that the city lacks: the option to halt, start over and rebuild.

Text your freshman year roommate.

Don’t let Netflix govern your life.

Talk to the person sitting right next to you, chances are she feels the same way.

Log off Instagram.

Remember, loneliness is a feeling that is temporary. It is not a lifestyle.

Don’t just make acquaintances. Get to know them. Turn them into your friends.

Most of all, remember to let go of whatever is holding you back: fear, shyness, insecurity, rationale, over possessive boyfriend and then you will learn to live. You need a friend and so does the person next to you. All you have to do is smile.

By Sushmita Roy

Sushmita Roy is a Campus Clipper intern and a junior at NYU majoring in Journalism and Psychology. Her research interests includes immigration, human interest stories and social psychology. When she’s not studying, Sushmita enjoys catching up with friends, binge watching TV shows and cooking for anyone and everyone. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

 

 

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Hello, I Love You, Won’t You Tell Me Your Name?

Thursday, March 3rd, 2011

Photo thanks to Ajaytheonly.blogspot.com

The French expression for falling in love translates to “falling into apples,” which I correlate to sweet, but painful. Dropping the “L” bomb is a bit of a sticky situation. There are the blurters, the stagers, the first daters, the long termers, the constant reminders, the special occasioners, the whisperers, the shout it from the roof topers, whatever you’re style, the tricky part is figuring out whether your beau shares your sentiments or not. If one of you feels it first, it’s not the end of the world, nor is it necessarily the end of the relationship, but if you have to get it out there here are some pointers for not overwhelming (or underwhelming) your significant other.

You’re Ready, They’re Not: You’re most likely in a terrified state, with a candy coat of bubbling excitement. Hold onto that, don’t let it fester and rot the roots of your courtship. If you’re certain that your beau isn’t in the same place, feel them out a bit. If you’ve been dating for more than four months, and they’re still a bit frigid toward the idea of professing statements of affection, it’s okay to say it as long as you preface the statement with something along the lines of, “You don’t have to say it back, I just need to tell you how I feel.” This will give them the out, relieving a little pressure. A wedge can be stuffed between you if you push the idea too much. I know, it’s taxing, but if you care about the person (well, you say you love them) you should be considerate of where they are in the relationship. Not everyone moves at the same pace. Maybe they need more time to get there, they mean serious business when they say it, or maybe they’ve been badly burned in the past. Sometimes the people who are reluctant to love are so because of a painful past.  Give them time. Don’t use breaking up as an ultimatum, because then you’re pushing them to leave you when they want to stay, or they’re saying something they don’t mean because they’re afraid to lose you. Granted, losing you may snap them into realizing something, but that’s not fair, that’s making the relationship a game.

Signs They’re Not Ready: You gaze at them lovingly, they look away. You make plans for the future; they make plans for dinner instead. Holding hands, even when you’re alone is a no-no. If you’re not in bed, there’s no affection. Take these as subtle hits, and to use the oh-so-popular phrase: maybe they’re just not that into you.

Signs They’re Ready: Take the situations above and reverse them.

They Said It, You Didn’t: You haven’t been together that long, this is your first date, or you’re just not feeling it, but you’re happy in the relationship so far. The first point should be that if you’re just in it to be in a relationship (you know who you are), that’s fine, but when the other person is serious about a long term commitment and you’re not, you need to let them know. It won’t get better, they won’t learn to feel less or make it more casual. Once they have the heart throb, it’s only going to end in pain, so don’t augment this by dangling a carrot in front of them. Remind them of how wonderful they are, how undeserving you are, and break it off nice and clean.

If you think that you may feel this way, just not yet, explain this to them. You can do this without being harsh. Explain your sentiments, but don’t give reasons for why you don’t love them yet. This can be used against you for the entirety of your relationship. Every fight will be about this, even if it’s masked as something else.

First Times That Don’t Count:

– After being intimate, during, or before. After you’ve already said it, go ahead and shout it at the top of your lungs (or whisper loudly if you have roommates), but don’t say it for the first time in while snuggling with your honey. 

– As a form of apology. If you’re in the middle of a fight, unless it’s due to a romantic comedy-esque misunderstanding, this kills the sentiment. If you did something to cause pain, grief, or anger, don’t pull the L-card to get yourself out of the dog house. This taints it, makes it jaded.

Saying it: Think about it this way: after the excitement, shock, what have you, of the sacred words, they’re going to tell their friends, especially the ladies. Do you really want them to have to explain that you said it to get out of trouble, or in an inappropriate moment? My personal recommendation is to say it when you feel it. It will mean that much more if you’re in the moment, not in some rehearsed set up. Sure, flowers and violins are nice, but they amp up the anxiety and create a sensation of false sentiments. This isn’t Hollywood. If you’re brushing you’re teeth together one morning, or they pick up a treat for you just because, and you feel a rushing sensation, tell them. You can tell when someone really means it when they’re in the moment.

Alternatives to Love: Neither of you is ready for the commitment that accompanies saying I love you, but you still have strong feelings for one another. Use these carefully, as they can irritate if the other person has said I Love You and you respond with a luke warm declaration.

-I adore you (see Stranger Than Fiction)

-I covet you

-You’re my happy thought

– I’m crazy about you

– I think you’re the greatest thing since the wheel (make up your own)

– I’m so glad you exist

Love is a wonderful thing, and once you get the words out you can say it almost whenever you want. There is also a sweetness to the period before you express this, a time when the tension of affection, of the unsaid words, is palpable and being together creates an electrical charge of potential energy. Savor the beginning, people, don’t push it. You’ll get to the next stage, but remember that you’ll never have a beginning with this person again, so quit chomping at the bit. If you’re going to say it, think carefully and tread cautiously.

Written by Ashley Teal, Campus Clipper Blogger

See my blog:  amteal.tumblr.com or twitter @amteal

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