College is a period of life that is greatly idealized by both incoming students and long-time graduates. For the former, it is a symbol of hope. For the latter, its memory often holds a feeling of glorious nostalgia. The general idea of college life is one that carries excitement and promises major personal growth and achievement.

But how do you know which college journey is ideal for you? To answer this question, I sought the insight of my good friend, Faith, who graduated this past May from California Lutheran University, having taken full advantage of the opportunities made available to her, and is walking away summa cum laude, an alum athlete, and a seasoned explorer.

I first asked her whether she started her freshman year with a clear outline for her four years of undergrad—as many organized and eager students do—or embraced spontaneity and determined what was worth her time and effort along the way. She shared that “[she] didn’t start college with a detailed four-year plan. [She] came in knowing that [she] wanted a good education and that [she] wanted to swim.” However, “so much of what ended up defining [her] college experience wasn’t planned.” She learned to “just say yes to different opportunities,” and this is how she went on to intern, study abroad, and do research—not knowing what research entailed or that it was even an option. 

This same mindset, to “choose [what you’re] passionate about, excited about, or [what] truly interests you,” led her to declare both her environmental science and Spanish majors. In fact, her dad encouraged her to adopt this perspective by explaining that “there are careers in any field out there. This is a decision that is affecting the rest of your life, and you can make money in any field.” So she took his advice and ran with it by choosing to immerse herself in what she loved.

But honoring her interests wasn’t possible without sacrifice. For Faith, “one of the biggest sacrifices [she] had to make was time.” As a student athlete, “[she] had early mornings. [She] was doing over 20 hours of practice a week and was also working a part-time job about 20 hours a week, had a full-time class schedule, a club that [she] was running, and was doing research.” But “learning how to prioritize and be intentional with [her] time was one of the most valuable lessons that [she] took away,” despite having “to say ‘no’ to things that a lot of people may want out of college—like going to parties, hanging out with friends, or spending time in the dorm.” She believes that the sacrifice “was worth it because it was true to who [she is] and aligned with [her] goals.”

And when all of her responsibilities began to overwhelm her, “having people to rely on, having a support system,” anchored her to her ability to persist. Her mom, who “became what [Faith] jokingly called [her] ‘momma-pist,’” or “mom-therapist” especially helped ease her mind during stressful times while she was at school. She explained that college is “a time when you are discovering who you are, saying ‘yes’ to all of these opportunities, and challenging yourself, and you cannot go through it alone.” Even if your support system comprises one person, “asking for help sometimes is not a sign of weakness but is a way that you can keep growing and learn how to face these challenges again in the future.”

As for knowing that she needed to break away from her campus borders to have a fulfilling college experience, Faith shared that smaller schools—like the one she attended—“can feel like a social bubble, so “immersing yourself in the community and seeing the real-world applications of what you might be studying in a classroom is just as meaningful as [the on-campus] college experience.” Her off-campus barista job and ability to study abroad in Madrid for four months allowed her to find value in engaging with opportunities beyond her campus borders. She was “challenged in ways that [she] never expected,” but being “pushed out of [her] comfort zone also made [her] more independent and gave [her] confidence that [she] could adapt to unfamiliar situations” and allowed her to meet “so many people from diverse backgrounds with different cultures and different ways of life, [opening her] up to a whole new world.”

So as you try to determine which aspects of college to lean into and turn away from, keep in mind Faith’s approach to making the most of it: “Stay open and stay curious.” Be willing to give your time to unplanned opportunities, and especially those “that excite you or that interest you.” Not all detours are setbacks. For Faith, “so much of what ended up defining [her] college experience wasn’t planned.” Thanks to her time as a student, she has come to understand that “every experience is valuable, even the ones that don’t end up being the right fit.”

So embrace every adventure in your college journey because, like Faith said, “The goal isn’t to do everything. It’s to find experiences that help you grow into the person that you want to become in the future.”

By Lauren Gascon 

Lauren Gascon studies Media, Culture, and Communication at NYU and enjoys discussing people’s relationships with each other and themselves. When she’s not on campus, you can find her café hopping, browsing bookstores, or enjoying lunch in one of New York City’s many beautiful parks.

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