Posts Tagged ‘adulthood’

Chapter Six: There is Room for Your Dreams

Monday, July 22nd, 2024

To me, it was always stated as fact that making money was more important than following your dreams (unless your dream happened to be very lucrative). I was also told that it is unrealistic to expect fulfillment or happiness from your job or career. I had been terrified of the thought of working my adult years away and living a miserable life. I had made a promise to myself never to live that kind of life lest I wanted regrets. These were among the many myths I had to prove wrong as I worked hard to get myself closer to my dream life.

The first myth I would like to bust is—your dreams won’t make any money. Countless were the times I wanted to drop out of college and partly to blame for that was this myth. I knew that when I graduated high school, I immediately wanted to go to college. I loved being a student and knew I wanted to learn more about almost everything, so college was a natural progression in my life. However, I couldn’t fit in with many of my peers because we decided to study very different things and were driven by different values. I was almost always told things like “You will be broke easily,” “What are going to do with that,” and “You need to study something else.” I had felt like my presence was unwelcome in an institution I thought was where I could find more open-minded individuals.

The reality is a lot more complicated than what my peers made me believe. I was an English major with the dream of being a published author and making a career in the publishing industry. While these careers require tedious growth, tolerance for constant rejection, and perhaps occasionally sacrificing the opportunity to make money upfront, there was always going to be opportunities where I could use my writing and editing skills to make some money—whether that was a paid internship in publishing (though, hard to find), a paid writer’s fellowship, a freelancing gig for an advertising company, or creating my own business. If it wasn’t going to be my main job, it would be my side job. Even then, I always found myself using the creative problem-solving skills I credit my English degree for giving me in my personal life.

The second myth is—you can’t expect fulfillment or happiness from your job or career. I don’t want myself or anyone else miserably clocking in and out of the place where we’ll be spending the majority of our adult lives. I don’t see why it’s unreasonable to want and expect more out of our jobs and careers. Work shouldn’t just be about waking up, commuting, and saying we worked a certain amount of hours every day. It should be making us feel inspired and making good use of the natural born skills and talents we have. In the end, measuring the value of our work based on our annual salary doesn’t always factor in how much it gives back to our society. Those who prioritize money too much over other more people-centered values may recognize themselves as less human. So, expecting more from our jobs and careers only makes us human.

I tried prioritizing money over fulfillment and passion much to my detriment. I understand that you need money to survive and access resources all over the city, but being that we are beings driven by emotions, we can’t ignore the real need we all have to seek meaning in what we dedicate our time to. There was real labor that went into pretending I wanted to be at certain jobs when truthfully, I didn’t. Yet money had to be the thing I sacrificed so much for. I realized that sacrifices I have made for my dreams were more worth it than sacrificing my dreams altogether. This was because my dreams were the foundation for the life I wanted to live. When we start to understand what we do as more than just a number value or a prize, we start to see the lifestyles behind them that either deprive us or nourish us. And my dream of being a writer and editor in publishing was going to be the key to my dream life of living more intentionally, valuing meaning over material items, and treasuring the collective more over the individual.

The third and last myth I want to cover is—your job or career is your identity. As passionate as I am of having a creative career or passion job, I recognize that I don’t like the possibility of being pigeonholed nor do I like the possibility of all my other interests and identities being ignored for the sake of pure simplicity. Your job will likely change as much as your identity over the course of your life. Even then, you could consistently be a person of multiple passions—a multi-passionate if you will. Therefore, you aren’t a story for others to make sense of. You are a universe of infinite realities.

A dream is a wish your heart makes.
Image Credit: https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/room-full-of-clouds-surreal-dream-3d-rendering-moon-gm1301408665-393456340

College was where I felt I could create my own reality. It was the place to inspire and be inspired. It all had to start with stretching the very limited definitions forced on me since childhood. From being told that math and science were more important than my English classes to being told that the only thing I could do with an English degree was teach, I wanted a life of adaptable and accommodating definitions. Very literally, if you can dream it, you can believe it.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Chapter One: You Could Be a ‘Good Girl’ and a ‘Bad Girl’

Monday, June 17th, 2024

When I first took a step on my college campus, I was terrified. Mostly of myself. Coming from a K-8 Catholic school education and a militaristically run charter high school, I had built a strong “good girl” persona that today I still find myself trying to deconstruct entirely. To my pleasant surprise, college was the right and best place for me to do just that.

As a preteen, I had this idea that I would transform into a completely different woman. A woman with major presence, high-energy, and is unabashedly quirky. All the qualities I think would have been fully-fleshed out before my 20s if I hadn’t been disciplined out of them. I could finally use my 20s to revive that excitable little girl that was always in me but was made small. She often found shelter in free-spirited fictional characters who’d given her (and me) inspiration for a satisfying womanhood. I was excited again to be outside of my home.

As an English major, I was already being taught how to think critically about gender, race, sexual orientation, and even Catholicism to a lesser extent. I peeled back layers of lies and false promises made to me by my parents and by the Church. I thought my parents’ home and the home of worship were places that would offer me belonging and safety, but I only ever felt like I was in constant danger. I was explicitly and implicitly told that the woman I was dying to be wasn’t the right woman and wasn’t the woman I was born to be. So, I became of afraid of her. Afraid of who I would turn out to be.

I have to admit that I often found it easier to learn about critical theory than I did putting it into practice in my everyday life. I was avoiding the reality that I had the experience that showed I wasn’t a little girl anymore, yet I wasn’t owning the “woman” label. And it was just that that I learned—the knowledge and experience that you gain outside college lecture halls matters just as much as on the inside of a college campus; and both can’t really exist without each other.

I grew to think of my college experience as my “bad girl” era. My personal Garden of Eden. It was where I could find so much forbidden fruit (both of the academic kind and of the human kind, if you know what I mean). There is so much hidden about yourself that requires constant discovery and rediscovery. And that is what happened with me; during college, I had realized there were sides to myself and to other people that were almost invisible to me because I had finally been given the space to have conversations that would have been useful to myself as a young girl and most likely for many other young girls too.

Girls just wanna have fun!

It was where I realized I had autonomy and choice, even if I had been raised in a culture that made me believe the opposite. While I had technically taken a women’s studies course in the latter-end of my college journey, I had learned so much about feminism through my other humanities courses. I wasn’t just inspired by these humanities courses but by just being in a space away from the surveillance of my parents at home. Inspired to make certain decisions for myself and even just for myself, as much as that sounded selfish to most around me.

I received a lot of pushback for just exercising my autonomy. For revealing my true opinions on different social and political issues. For furthering myself away from people and activities that I was considered to be culturally and politically obligated to in my childhood and adolescence. I grew up taught to be overly concerned about being moral (or more accurately, looking moral) for the sake of fitting an unrealistic mold made for imperfect humans. Us women and femmes know too well the pressure not to be the “bad girl.” Yet, there will always be something about a woman that makes her a rotten apple.

For me, it was keeping my head too far into my books—my bibliophilia. According to my parents, my love for reading and writing just turned me into an overemotional, self-involved, and distracted daughter. Initially, I thought my knowledge would stand in for morality considering how much importance my parents and general society give education. But then I realized that my parents mostly cared about the grades and social status my education would give them and myself whereas I mostly cared about how I could support myself and others with the knowledge I gained.

In the end, I believe many of us humans, especially women, are more than just completely “good” or completely “bad.” I love words too much to have continued latching onto this extreme form of language into my mid-20s. I prefer to recognize the complexity we all carry in us and that my “bad girl” era college gave me was never really a “bad girl” era. It was more like a me-growing-into-my-womanhood era. I will admit—though—that calling it a “bad girl” era always sounded like fun.


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By Daeli Vargas

Daeli is a recent graduate from the City College of New York with a BA in English and a publishing certificate. She is from the Bronx and is very passionate about all things literary. She hopes one day to publish many books of her own and share her passions worldwide.


For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Pushing Boundaries: How Traveling and Studying Abroad Have Changed My Life and Shaped My Career Path, and Why You Should Do It Too

Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

At only 21 years old, I am no Confucius. I cannot give you sound and scientific advice that, if followed, will give you guaranteed success and happiness and all the things you’ve ever dreamed possible. I do not know everything; I don’t have all the answers. What I DO have is my own experience. One of my favorite lines from a book came from Arthur Japin’s In Lucia’s Eyes that reads, “The world is full of people who spend their entire lives seeking the miracle of love without ever seeing it. It’s actually very simple and self-evident, except to those who seek it. One need only have a different way of seeing things. That is not something you can teach people. All you can do is tell your story.”

Whether or not you’re looking for love, let that last sentence resonate with you. All you can do is tell your story. This is my story.

Me:

My mother was born and raised in Brazil and moved to the U.S. when she found her future husband who worked in San Francisco at the time. This man, my father, lived in the U.S. for several years already, but actually grew up in San Jose, Costa Rica.  Call them star-crossed lovers or whatever you wish, these two foreigners set out to make a new future in a new country for their new daughter, me!

 

Growing up, it was just my parents and me. No siblings, no relatives nearby, no pets other than the occasional goldfish won at a carnival with a lifespan average of two days.  I spent most of my breaks from school traveling, either to Costa Rica or Brazil, to see family and connect with cousins and friends my age, keeping up with both Portuguese and Spanish.

The language was never a barrier to me when I was in another country, but became an issue when I returned to the U.S. and had already started school. I would meet with friends and sometimes be unable to realize that I wasn’t speaking English with them because I was so used to being understood in another language.

In addition to traveling to see relatives, I was fortunate enough to have such hard-working parents who always wanted me to see the world, as was their goal for themselves.  We travelled to many places in Europe before I finished the 8th grade, even at which point it was very clear to me that studying abroad would be in my future, no question.

Before starting high school I KNEW I would be gone for sophomore year – I researched study abroad programs and took advantage of them.  Initially I wanted to go to countries like Italy or Spain, but I wound up finding a full-ride scholarship opportunity (sponsored by U.S. Congress and German Parliament) to study in Germany, so I applied. As I moved further through the selection process, it became surreal how competitive this was: out of 2500 applicants, only 50 would receive scholarships.

In April 2006, I learned I had received the scholarship. I turned 15 the next month and three months later was off to live in Germany for a year: no family, no friends, and didn’t  know a word of German. I was the youngest of all the recipients, and after 11 months I was fluent in German.

Before beginning my time at a University, it was clear to me I would study abroad again. I would have applied for the program right away if it weren’t for the window allowed for it by the study abroad office. I was the first to submit an application for that as well, and in the fall of 2010, I had one of the BEST semesters of my life in Bern, Switzerland. If I hadn’t graduated early, I would have studied abroad again.

I’ve now relocated from Arizona to New York and am pursuing a career here while considering my options for a Master’s abroad – perhaps Switzerland again.  I’ve even recently been asked to work with a European magazine for some press releases. My passion is traveling and connecting with people who have experienced this and exchanging cultures.  All the traveling and studying abroad I’ve done have brought me here and told me where I’m going.  You CAN and SHOULD do it too, and even if traveling isn’t something you want for your career, experiencing it now while you’re young is priceless and will teach you so much about yourself and the world.

 

Where to look for study abroad programs:

  1. Consult with your school’s study abroad offices: I realize these offices are becoming smaller and smaller in the U.S., but these guys know what they’re talking about. Ask which kinds of programs are available to you – some may have year standing or GPA requirements. Maybe there’s a specific kind of program you’re searching for – my school offered programs in which you travel with a group of students from the University while learning abroad. My school also offered a program where you didn’t pay a study abroad fee, just the same tuition you were paying while attending the school, which is how I was able to study abroad. Many study abroad offices even have information on scholarships. There are plenty of options; inform yourself!
  2. Check other programs: This gets tricky and is where fees come into play, sky-rocketing the price of your study abroad experience. My scholarship study abroad program was limited to high school students, but there are other groups out there! Check out: ciee.org or studyabroad.com.
  3. Maybe you’re interested in the experience of it but don’t want to be studying: Check out things like aupair-world.net where you can be a live-in nanny, earn some money, have a host family that could help teach you more about the culture, and be immersed in your new surroundings. You could take a semester off to do it, do it in the summer, or make time for it after you graduate. Another post-graduate option could be The Peace Corps.
  4. Degrees and Internships Abroad: These are other ways you can be productive in a new place. You can research schools in the areas you’re most interested in and see their guidelines for international students. My advice for those looking to study in Europe would be to check out bachelorsportal.eu OR mastersportal.eu where you can define your search based on degree subject, country, or tuition and GET THIS: tuition prices elsewhere could be as little as 4% what you’re paying now. What about textbook fees? That’s all an American scam so you can say “bye-bye” to that! As for internships, try goabroad.com/intern-abroad or ask at your school’s study abroad office.  HEADS UP: this internship opportunity in China was just tweeted via @InternQueen that may be worthwhile: http://www.crccasia.com/?utm_source=InternQueen&utm_medium=Eblast&utm_campaign=October

5. If all else fails and you just want to travel abroad but want to do it sooner rather than later (excellent choice), check out statravel.com for good deals on flights and hotel information – those prices keep going up these days so it’s good to know of a place that’s dedicated to finding competitive rates. I’d also recommend kayak.com, which is where I found an affordable flight to NYC.

Why:

Even if traveling doesn’t give you insatiable wanderlust as it has to me, at the very least you’ll         broaden your horizons, learn something new and take these experiences with you in your next job interview, which could make all the difference. I encourage you to try something new, to not be afraid, and to learn a new language – there’s no better way than immersion! At the risk of sounding cliché, the world is truly your oyster so go out and open it!

 

 

 

 

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Posted by Lauren A Ramires. Follow her blog, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram (username: laurenaramires) for more lifestyle and inspiration posts.

If you’re interested in learning more of the experiences of a Peace Corps Volunteer, check out this blog for stories on the daily happenings of a PCV and things you could expect.

 

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Late Night Creations

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

written by Sabina Ashbaugh

We always substitute an egg with two tablespoons of vanilla soymilk—a slight variation that leaves the dough runny and easier to mix with the cracked wooden spoon. The timer is set for 12 minutes, not 14 as the cookbook suggests, with a reminder at the six-minute mark to switch the top and bottom trays in the oven. Despite these careful discrepancies, accumulated over countless nights, our creations are never completely predictable. We speculate whether it might be the heat of the dimly lit kitchen, and that volatile summer breeze that seeps in through the windows and seems to soften the contours of the room.
Despite our many trials, my sister and I never fully plan our baking efforts, or even carefully measure out the ingredients of our amended recipes. The soymilk substitution, now a permanent step in the cookie making process, came from a late realization that the egg carton was deceptively empty. As if to support this impulsiveness, the planned desserts baked for family dinners—the pumpkin or apple pies, the blueberry cobblers, the cinnamon buns, the madeleines—are never as good as the spontaneous endeavors to satisfy late night cravings. The immediate satisfaction of these creations quickly assuaged the worries and anxieties amassed during school or work. Tasks divided and ingredients laid out, my sister and I get to work setting right the wrongs of the day.
It has been a year now since I moved away from home. Some months have flown by while others have painstakingly inched to a close, with pangs of homesickness and late night baking cravings that seemed to arise out of nowhere. Family, a concept that had seemed so natural and tangible just a year ago, has slowly been abstracted to stand for that sense of place so radically reconfigured after leaving for school. In times of stress, I often caught myself about to call the house with a confused plea of “What should I do?”
With distance I have come to realize how often I unintentionally underappreciated this form of support. I cringe at the thought that the ease and spontaneity of those nights spent baking are a lost bridge between my sister and I—treasured memories to look back on fondly but ones impossible to recapture. And yet the removal of this crutch has also forced me to examine how I will right the wrongs of the day in my own way—not by baking, but through the careers and choices that lie ahead.
Moving away is an exciting step towards independence and deciding how and what one wants to change in the world. In the midst of so many choices, the advice offered by family is a means of grounding oneself in times of transformation. Finding a niche in college involves exploring how one will contribute to society and improve the lives of others, but it also requires the recognition of the debt owed to those at home.
Growing up compels us to accept these recipes, relationships, and plans for future change. Family rituals become memories as traditions are re-made. It is important to maintain ties with those that helped us get where we are, and continue to want to see us succeed. Helping others starts by looking out for and appreciating those at home, and paying tribute to those left behind.

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