Posts Tagged ‘interracial relationships’

Dating Etiquette across the Globe

Monday, March 8th, 2021

I’m sure you all know that things operate differently depending on factors such as culture and location. We all walk a different path in life, that’s what makes us distinctive individuals. The meaning of love and the way you express it may be perceived with disapproval or repugnance by others. All of these ideas tie into good manners, which can be applied into more than just love scenarios. You want to be viewed as a good citizen who is well-informed and educated; otherwise, people will think negatively of you and believe that you weren’t properly taught. This topic of dating etiquette is also analogous to love languages, since we exhibit affection and delineate love in different ways. Another important concept that should be enumerated is interracial dating—a controversial one indeed as it is looked down upon by those not condoning of it. When there is a romantic relationship between two people stemming from contrasting cultures, they are essentially embodying each other’s culture, customs, and family history. We’re in the year 2021 and interracial dating is not abnormal. In fact, it’s becoming more generalized especially here in the United States. The Pew Research Center found that the percentage of interracial couples living together increased from 7.4 in 2000 to 10.2 around 2016.

When witnessing how various cultures interpret love, we may initially think to ourselves “oh that’s weird” or “how is this even romantic?” The irony is that people from different backgrounds may find our own love expressions preposterous, or even disgusting. What I’m trying to say is that we all think similarly because we’re just not accustomed to foreign dating customs and our values don’t line up with theirs, and at the end of the day it’s a new experience for everyone. I can even speak from personal experience; my parents met in China and have been married for over two decades. You would believe that their marriage is healthy, right? Truth be told, I don’t see a connection or a romantic interest in either one of them. I also find it funny and peculiar that I’ve never even seen them do anything intimate like giving a quick kiss. I don’t know if people in China are embarrassed about love or they get married just for the sake of it; as a matter of fact, I can’t recall any memories of my family members demonstrating any romantic attraction, and the discussion of sex is considered taboo. Keep in mind that love is subjective and it doesn’t have to meet another person’s standards—just do what’s right for your own relationship. Who cares what the next person thinks, his or her opinion shouldn’t affect you much. Human beings are judgmental, let them make comments. You should be proud of your rendition of love.

https://lovedevani.com/dating-culture-in-brazil

Here is a list of countries and their respective dating protocols that I compiled that may leave you astounded.

Japan:

  • Although sex is not necessarily shown as taboo, public affection is not permitted.
  • First dates typically occur in a group meeting (goukon).
  • If you become the Bachelor or get stuck on a group date then I recommend kicking off the date with sweets! You can use Campus Clipper coupons like the one below for some enjoyable cookies and cupcakes. Click here to view the coupon and make sure to go to the Campus Clipper website for more savings.
  • PDA isn’t taken lightly, negatively viewed – the most you would get after a romantic date is probably a stiff hug.
  • Shy away from direct feelings & expressions, much prefer subtle signs.

France:

  • Like Japan, most first dates take place in a group setting.
  • Going on dates or seeing someone and displaying affection typically indicates that you’re committed to someone.
  • More romance in dating.
  • A good deal of PDA.
  • Serious eye contact.

India:

  • Casual dating isn’t well received.
  • End goal is marriage.
  • There is a notion that women have to always be pursued and pampered.
  • Arranged marriages still exist but take form online through dating apps, rather than the traditional way. There are apps available for Indians parents to match their children to anyone they find compatible with. 

China:

  • Actual dating schools exist for men due to the gender imbalance in China (because of the one child per family policy).
  • It is fine to call and text frequently, even if the relationship just started.
  • The Chinese take marriage quite solemnly, there’s a pressure of getting married; once you reach your 30s and you’re still single then you’re classified as a “leftover.”
  • Strays away from verbal affection due to various reasons like awkwardness and cultural traditions.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Interracial Relationships: Do Those Count?

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

As a part of my white-denial phase as outlined in my previous post, during late high school/early college, I decided that I was only attracted to men of color. No more blondes for me- I liked dark skin and eyes, and definitely only dark hair was going to cut it.

This impulse arose from a mixture of factors. For one, part of denying my whiteness involved asserting that I wasn’t attracted to white men. Secondly, I was just exiting that thrash-around-and-shock-other-people-until-you-figure-out-who-you-are stage that many teenagers go through. I rather enjoyed announcing to my friends that I didn’t date white boys- not that boys of any type were lining up to date me. Of course, thinking about those conversations now makes me cringe, but I suppose it’s all a part of the process. And finally, I had a vague sense that I was fighting white hegemony and homogeneity by turning my attention to men of color. If I had kids with and married a non-white man, not only would I avoid contributing more white people to the world, but I would also have a life partner who would constantly be able to check my privilege and curb any racist tendencies I might have.

Of these impulses, the last one was getting at something important. It was good that I was able to see men of color as potential partners, as desirable. However, despite my good intentions, there was a dark side to this instinct that was very dangerous. By only giving attention to men of color, I was risking fetishizing them- wanting them because of their color, not for the people they were. Furthermore, I was elevating myself through my association of people of color. Because I only like men of color, I was determinedly “not-racist” and, thereby, better than most whites. Rather that pursuing justice, I was feeding my own ego, upheld by my identity as a white ally to people of color.

Once I realized this, I tried to evaluate my intentions each time I met a potential partner. Was I interested in him, or had I trained myself to only look for dark skin in a crowd of white? I eventually found that I was attracted to a wide range of men- black, Latino, Asian, and more (remember, identity is complicated!) And yes, the joke’s on me: I fell for a white guy, hard. After that, I had to admit that it was stupid of me to try to cut white guys out of my spectrum of interest.

During my senior year of college, I was talking to one of my Mexican friends. A self-professed dater of white girls only, my friend commented, “You know, I feel like several of the white women I’ve been with have only dated me because I’m Latino and speak Spanish.” I had always made fun of him for only dating white girls, but this made me think- wasn’t that exactly what I had done when I refused to date white guys?

These past two years, I have been able to reconcile my openness to white guys while remaining aware of my tendency to fetishize men of color. Even though I had fallen for a white guy, my history was statistically stacked against him- the majority of my interests just happened to be men of color.

Given this fact, it didn’t come as much of a surprise when, upon meeting my current boyfriend, he happened to be an Asian man with olive skin and dark features. His dad is white and his mom moved to the States from Japan, but you wouldn’t be able to tell by merely looking at him (phenotypes can be reeeally misleading). He was born and raised in Los Angeles, and with his affinity for guns and cars, I joke that he’s more American than I am. We sometimes talk about identity and race, but it’s usually not in the context of our relationship. When we do discuss it, I’m certainly not as obnoxious as I used to be. The more I get to know him, the more I feel confident that I’m with him not because of the misguided ideas from my youth, but because of the wonderful person he is.

By Anna Lindner

Anna is a Campus Clipper intern and a first-year Master’s student in NYU’s Media, Culture, and Communication program. Her research interests include critical race and gender theory and their resultant intersectionality. When she’s not studying, Anna enjoys visiting friends, catching up on TV shows, and lifting weights. For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books; we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings. 

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