Posts Tagged ‘love language’

Find Your Love Language

Wednesday, February 24th, 2021

I know that love is beautiful and romantic, but how exactly do you express it with your significant other? That’s where the concept of love languages comes in; there are a total of five universal love languages as explained by Gary Chapman. In his book, “The Five Love Languages for Singles,” he states that “Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning.” Not every relationship is going to convey love in the same way because we all have our own notions surrounding what love is. Therefore, it’s important to ponder how different people demonstrate affection in various ways and also desire affection in specific ways. A partnership is like a puzzle, you have to figure out what is compatible with your partner and cater to their needs. Recognizing the importance of love languages will not only enhance your partnership, but also reduce the chance of ruining the relationship. If your idea of love doesn’t meet your partner’s expectations or emotional needs then the chances of perpetuating the relationship diminishes and an adjustment should be made; your definition of love should be parallel to your significant other’s interpretation of love. I mean, think about it, am I going to get my point across and communicate effectively with an individual that speaks in a different language than I do?

Take the time to figure out what your primary love language is and see if it correlates with your partner’s outlook on love. You’re allowed to have multiple love languages, the more the merrier; familiarity with more than one language will put you in a better position to progress your relationship. It doesn’t matter if one sounds better than the other, you’re doing this to address and meet your partner’s needs in order to take the romance to new heights and make it work. Respect their desire for affection and the way they wish to be acknowledged to prevent disappointment. Now do your due diligence and use this opportunity to find what resonates with you and apply it to your relationship.

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The 5 Love Languages

  • Words of Affirmation: This one is quite straightforward since it involves articulating thoughts and diction. The act of listening and uttering words to communicate love can be conducted through either acclamations or compliments. If you find out that the reciprocal love language between both parties is affirmation, then make sure what’s coming out of your mouth is genuine. Voicing “I love you” or “You’re so beautiful” is very basic, but at the same time they’re powerful words; the objective here is to boost their confidence and remind them that they’re special.
  • Quality Time: Most of us learned that we shouldn’t take any moment for granted especially given the current state of affairs. Time is limited and we can’t predict when our last breath will be and when something comes to an end. You can dedicate your time and attention to your partner in a variety of ways, this can be as simple as making great eye contact and conversing with one another. You can even take it up a notch by doing something more thoughtful like planning a sophisticated date, trust me you’ll get bonus points for such deeds. Brush off the constant distractions and just focus on what’s in front of you!
  • Receiving Gifts: This shouldn’t be hard to notice because we all know how it feels to receive a gift and make a gift. Remember the level of exhilaration that filled you on Christmas day? You can emulate that same enthusiasm for someone you love such as your significant other. Regardless of the cost or rarity of the gift, you’re going to induce a bright smile on your partner’s face; it’s not all about materialistic items in this case but rather the sentiment that went into crafting the present. Some ideas may include writing a card of appreciation, purchasing flowers, and sweet pastries. If you want to splurge then by all means, go ahead; either route you decide to choose, your kind gestures won’t go unnoticed.
  • Acts of Service: See the word service? That term has a positive connotation to it, we see it everyday from restaurants to customer service. Making kind contributions and lending a hand speak volumes as to who you are as a person, hence actions speak louder than words. Those who pride themselves in their efforts and productivity most likely belong in this category. This is the route you should take if your significant other enjoys having things done for them. For example, you can run errands, pay the bills, cook a meal, and the list goes on. However, make sure that you’re not being exploited by excessively helping while the other person doesn’t return your affection.
  • Physical Touch: We’ve all held objects and touched people since we were infants because touch is one of our five senses. It’s important to experiment with touch, it can produce a type of energy you find pleasurable. Physical touch is probably the most practical and easiest one to employ; it can be done almost anywhere whether it is going for a hug or leaning in for a kiss at the park, it will spark excitement and a lot of chemistry. Personally, I would take initiative and place my hands on my loved one’s arm while we’re sitting together and having a chat. If you’ve never engaged in tangible activities with your partner then where’s the romance behind the relationship? On the other hand, there’s a fine line between touchy and overbearing; treating your partner like a rag doll or compelling them to do something such as sexual intercourse is not condoned in this scenario.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Why food is a love language

Tuesday, October 27th, 2020

Growing up, I understood food as a love language. 

Dr. Gary Chapman describes a “love language” as the way we feel loved and appreciated. I love food — I think putting two things together that taste good to create another thing that tastes even better is the best thing humankind has accomplished besides literature and art. I would jump in front of a train for the guy who delivers my Chinese takeout every Friday Night; I think the guy who works the Halal cart in front of my apartment is my best friend, even though he does not know my name, who I am, or any of my interests outside of the food he makes every day. 

My parents love food. At the supermarket near my house, my mom would wink at me and say “don’t let me buy too many” as she raided the bakery in the dessert aisle. She would bring steaks home for my dad to cook, and he would pour a generous amount of cooking wine in the skillet before he fried them up, seasoning them with an almost careless amount of garlic, sesame oil, and peppers.

My mom loved my grandma’s cooking the most: my grandma would cook all my favorite dishes before I came home from school, and my mom would pick away at them without her looking. My grandma would gently smack her hand away from the food, shaking her head and smiling: “Those aren’t for you.”

My family also used food as a love language. When I was nervous before a big test, my grandma would cook for me so I “had enough energy to think.” Before I left for college, my parents cooked meals that stacked all the way until the end of the dinner table, and we laughed over tofu, fish, and dumplings until I had to board my flight. 

Why food is a love language
Without fail, at the end of every grocery round, my mom would make me an ancient, traditional Chinese dish called “ke le ji,” or “Coca-Cola Chicken,” which, if you guessed is just chicken marinated in Coca-Cola, you’d be correct. It’s delicious.

As college students, we come up with a lot of fun tricks to scrimp around meals. Personally, I am a fan of waking up at 1 pm so I don’t have to make or pay for breakfast. I’ve been with friends who study so hard they forget to eat dinner. I’ve seen my friends skip out on meals for a day or two before a date.

As a country, we have an unhealthy relationship with food. The University of Michigan Health System released a study correlating poverty, income inequality with higher rates of obesity. And while bulimia and anorexia are the most identifiable eating disorders, a survey released by the Eating Disorders Coalition revealed that at least one in every 10 Americans struggles with disordered eating: whether that be dieting, skipping meals, over-restricting certain food groups like protein versus fats and carbohydrates, or using poorly tested dietary supplements to control weight. 

Our conversations surrounding food cannot exist without discussions about affordability, body, beauty, and consumerism, and how our obsession with food as a form of control has obscured one very simple fact: we need food to survive. 

Food is a labor of love: countless times my roommates have made dinner for me without me even asking. When my friend was having a bad day, I made sure to stop by a sandwich shop before going to her apartment so she’d at least have something to eat. 

There is also the fact that I was a complete mess for most of my college career until I finally understood how to start cooking for myself, to discover it wasn’t this horrible, unthinkable task my brain tricked me into thinking it was. 

Food is a love language because we need it to survive. 

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By: Jessica Xing

Jessica is a senior at New York University majoring in English Literature. She has bylines in Vox, EGMNOW, and Electric Literature, and in her free time, she loves watching bad T.V. 

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Use Student Discounts to Love Yourself: In Accordance to the Five Love Languages

Thursday, March 9th, 2017

Image Credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/five-love-languages

Image Credit: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/five-love-languages

“Self Care.

betrayal makes the heart fragile

handle yourself with care”

-R.H. Sin

The five love languages, as created by Dr. Gary Chapman, describe the different ways that people give and respond to emotional love. Of course, the idea behind understanding the different love languages is to create a lasting and truly happy marriage. However, this can also be tied strongly to all of our relationships, as well as the one we have with ourselves.

The first of the love languages is Words of Affirmation. This language includes using verbal compliments and terms of gratitude as ways to communicate our love. Using words of affirmation is a great way to show our appreciation for those we care about.

Quality Time is the next love language. It is important to take time for each other, to bond and appreciate each other’s company. When it comes to self love, it is just as important to take time for yourself and treat yourself with kindness and care, and to truly understand how you are feeling.The importance here, especially in today’s generation, is to not spend this time watching TV or browsing Facebook. Instead, partake in an activity that allows you to think and reflect on your feelings, thought processes, goals, aspirations, etc.

Next is Gifting. This is the idea of using some sort of gift, whether it costs money or not, to show someone that you have been thinking of them. Someone who primarily speaks this love language will use and appreciate gift giving as an expression of love.

 The Acts of Service love language goes hand in hand with the saying “actions speak louder than words.” If someone’s primary love language is Acts of Service they will appreciate someone cooking them dinner, helping them with work that has been stressing them out, cleaning for them, or running errands for them.

 The last love language is Physical Touch. The people that predominantly speak this language are those who we may recognize as “touchy feely”. Without physical touch these people don’t feel the same connection, compassion, or overall love.

I took Chapman’s online quiz to find out my top love language. Here are my results:

Screen Shot 2017-03-02 at 10.24.29 PMIn a relationship, quality time is the most important for me. This means I appreciate someone’s undivided attention and spending uninterrupted time with another to deepen the connection between us. Now, when it comes to self love, this means I appreciate spending time alone doing activities that I enjoy and that help me feel happy and refreshed.

So, how can I feed my most prominent love language, thereby improving my sense of self-love and save money while doing it? Campus Clipper, of course! In the coming weeks I plan to use my Campus Clipper coupon booklet to get a student discount on a pedicure. Getting a pedicure will be a great way for me to focus on myself, clear my mind, relax, and will leave me feeling refreshed!

I spoke to an FIT student, Jordan Shramek, who also took the Love Language quiz, and found out that her primary love language is Quality Time as well! Here are Jordan’s full results:

IMG_1711 Jordan and I share the primary love language of Quality Time, and while I was speaking with her, she told me that she also loves to get her nails done in order to give herself some love. Getting her nails done and visiting Newport Mall for shopping on a regular basis are important to Jordan, allowing her to rejuvenate and ensure that she is giving herself the love she deserves. I believe that it is important for those of us with a primary love language of Quality Time to frequently take time to ourselves to simply do what we enjoy most in order to really feel great, and Jordan agreed with me on this.

I suggest you also take Chapman’s test to learn your primary love languages. This will help you understand how you need to be cared for in your relationships with others and how you can truly care for yourself.

By Chanelle Surphlis


Chanelle Surphlis is a Campus Clipper publishing intern, who is graduating from FIT this May. Passionate about giving back and pursuing volunteer opportunities, Chanelle aspires to work for a fashion or beauty company that includes philanthropy in its core values. If you like Chanelle’s writing, check out her blogs here and here. We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015. 

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