Find Your Love Language

I know that love is beautiful and romantic, but how exactly do you express it with your significant other? That’s where the concept of love languages comes in; there are a total of five universal love languages as explained by Gary Chapman. In his book, “The Five Love Languages for Singles,” he states that “Love is the fundamental building block of all human relationships. It will greatly impact our values and morals. Love is the important ingredient in one’s search for meaning.” Not every relationship is going to convey love in the same way because we all have our own notions surrounding what love is. Therefore, it’s important to ponder how different people demonstrate affection in various ways and also desire affection in specific ways. A partnership is like a puzzle, you have to figure out what is compatible with your partner and cater to their needs. Recognizing the importance of love languages will not only enhance your partnership, but also reduce the chance of ruining the relationship. If your idea of love doesn’t meet your partner’s expectations or emotional needs then the chances of perpetuating the relationship diminishes and an adjustment should be made; your definition of love should be parallel to your significant other’s interpretation of love. I mean, think about it, am I going to get my point across and communicate effectively with an individual that speaks in a different language than I do?

Take the time to figure out what your primary love language is and see if it correlates with your partner’s outlook on love. You’re allowed to have multiple love languages, the more the merrier; familiarity with more than one language will put you in a better position to progress your relationship. It doesn’t matter if one sounds better than the other, you’re doing this to address and meet your partner’s needs in order to take the romance to new heights and make it work. Respect their desire for affection and the way they wish to be acknowledged to prevent disappointment. Now do your due diligence and use this opportunity to find what resonates with you and apply it to your relationship.

The 5 Love Languages

  • Words of Affirmation: This one is quite straightforward since it involves articulating thoughts and diction. The act of listening and uttering words to communicate love can be conducted through either acclamations or compliments. If you find out that the reciprocal love language between both parties is affirmation, then make sure what’s coming out of your mouth is genuine. Voicing “I love you” or “You’re so beautiful” is very basic, but at the same time they’re powerful words; the objective here is to boost their confidence and remind them that they’re special.
  • Quality Time: Most of us learned that we shouldn’t take any moment for granted especially given the current state of affairs. Time is limited and we can’t predict when our last breath will be and when something comes to an end. You can dedicate your time and attention to your partner in a variety of ways, this can be as simple as making great eye contact and conversing with one another. You can even take it up a notch by doing something more thoughtful like planning a sophisticated date, trust me you’ll get bonus points for such deeds. Brush off the constant distractions and just focus on what’s in front of you!
  • Receiving Gifts: This shouldn’t be hard to notice because we all know how it feels to receive a gift and make a gift. Remember the level of exhilaration that filled you on Christmas day? You can emulate that same enthusiasm for someone you love such as your significant other. Regardless of the cost or rarity of the gift, you’re going to induce a bright smile on your partner’s face; it’s not all about materialistic items in this case but rather the sentiment that went into crafting the present. Some ideas may include writing a card of appreciation, purchasing flowers, and sweet pastries. If you want to splurge then by all means, go ahead; either route you decide to choose, your kind gestures won’t go unnoticed.
  • Acts of Service: See the word service? That term has a positive connotation to it, we see it everyday from restaurants to customer service. Making kind contributions and lending a hand speak volumes as to who you are as a person, hence actions speak louder than words. Those who pride themselves in their efforts and productivity most likely belong in this category. This is the route you should take if your significant other enjoys having things done for them. For example, you can run errands, pay the bills, cook a meal, and the list goes on. However, make sure that you’re not being exploited by excessively helping while the other person doesn’t return your affection.
  • Physical Touch: We’ve all held objects and touched people since we were infants because touch is one of our five senses. It’s important to experiment with touch, it can produce a type of energy you find pleasurable. Physical touch is probably the most practical and easiest one to employ; it can be done almost anywhere whether it is going for a hug or leaning in for a kiss at the park, it will spark excitement and a lot of chemistry. Personally, I would take initiative and place my hands on my loved one’s arm while we’re sitting together and having a chat. If you’ve never engaged in tangible activities with your partner then where’s the romance behind the relationship? On the other hand, there’s a fine line between touchy and overbearing; treating your partner like a rag doll or compelling them to do something such as sexual intercourse is not condoned in this scenario.

By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

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