Posts Tagged ‘relationships; values; escapism; family; friendship; communication; honesty; love; homesickness’

Crash Course Connections Ch. 9: Saying Goodbye

Thursday, August 14th, 2025

Part of me wishes college could last forever. The dorm sleepovers, late-night library hang-outs and chaotic coffee runs. Even the lecture halls hold a kind of charm. There’s a certain beauty to the rhythm of university life. Beyond aesthetics, it’s the final step before entering the adult world. It’s the last time you and your friends share the same calendar, the same milestones, the same breaks and goalposts.

But eventually, everything ends. And with that comes goodbye.

Friends tossing caps after graduating college. Credit: https://images

It’s not just a farewell to the school, professors and classes. You’re also saying goodbye to your friends. Some are close. Others are what I’d call “friends of convenience”. That may sound harsh, but it’s honest. These are people you see every day because your schedules align. You bond through routine, not necessarily through deep connection. And once the routine ends, so often does the friendship.

That doesn’t make those friendships less real, and this isn’t unique to college. You’ve had these kinds of relationships in high school, at jobs, summer camps and internships. You will continue to have these relationships throughout your life. Even when built around convenience, those friendships can be meaningful. They can brighten your day, get you through tough mornings or give you a reason to show up just to sit beside someone in class.

When those connections start to fade, it doesn’t mean they weren’t valuable. Sometimes life simply doesn’t allow space to maintain every relationship. And that’s okay.

Even the friendships you cherish most will shift. The closeness you feel while living in the same dorm, eating together every day and sharing every stress is hard to sustain. Eventually, you drift. Maybe not right away. Maybe you’ll live together after graduation or try to keep the same rhythm. But new jobs, routines and people will start to fill your time. The tight-knit group you once built becomes a web of separate paths. There might still be overlap, but there will also be space.

So this goodbye is just the end of a chapter. The story continues, you’re simply turning the page.

Winnie the Poo “Saying Goodbye” graphic. Credit: https://images.app

In a world where we’re all hyperconnected, physical distance isn’t the challenge it used to be. You can still meet up, plan reunions, send a message when someone crosses your mind. What you’re really saying goodbye to is the ease of it all. The built-in structure that made friendship simple. Letting go of that doesn’t mean losing the people entirely. It just means accepting change.

As I start my senior year, I’m writing this as both reflection and preparation. Part of me wants time to stop, to stay in this space a little longer. But most of me is ready for what’s next. Change is hard, but it’s also what makes life beautiful. It’s what gives this chapter meaning.

So here’s to this final year. I’m choosing to embrace it fully. To give myself grace when I mess up. To appreciate the ease while it’s still here.

Thanks for reading, and goodbye!

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By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram andTikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for ournewsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

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Crash Course Connections Ch. 6: Dating 101

Thursday, July 24th, 2025

Ah, college dating life, where to begin? The lore of finding your “true love” on campus runs deep. We all hear the stories: two freshmen sit next to each other in an Intro to Psych class, and boom —they end up getting married ten years later. There’s a kind of romantic hope that college will be the time where it all clicks. High school was just practice for the real thing, a prequel to the great love story we’re meant to star in.

In reality, it’s quite brutal.

Some people fall into (and out of) relationships like it’s part of their routine. Others don’t date at all. And in between, there’s the strange, emotionally ambiguous purgatory that is the situationship: a non-committal “thing” that looks like a relationship, feels like a relationship, but is never named as one. It’s confusing and often exhausting.

In my world, the first year of college wasn’t about dating. I bounced around, got to know people, and explored different circles and sides of myself. I had no heavy intention to commit because I didn’t want to. I was curious and open and still figuring out who I even was. And on top of that, I knew I was going abroad to Florence, which added a natural time limit to any potential connection.

Studying abroad opens up an entirely new kind of dating landscape. In Florence, connections were usually fun, passionate, and short-term. People were in it for the experience, not the longevity. That in itself can be beautiful: learning how to live in the moment, how to flirt in another language, and how to appreciate someone’s presence without worrying about the future. But it also meant that any real commitment fell off the table until I was more grounded, until I was back “home.”

My friends and I roaming the streets of Florence, circa fall semester 2023.

It wasn’t until junior year that I went on what I would consider my first real date, right before I left for London, of course. (I seem to have a habit of falling into things right before I leave.) The idea of the date scared me more than I care to admit. Not because of the person, but because it was set up through Hinge, which comes with its own psychological rollercoaster. Online dating is, frankly, horrendous for forming genuine connections. It can work, but most of the time, it’s a quick spark of banter, a few days of chatting, then a ghosting from one side or the other. Tinder? Mostly hookups. Bumble? Well… it’s Bumble.

But Hinge—Hinge had potential, at least in theory. And that first date was sweet and chill and surprisingly easy. It helped set a gentle precedent: dating didn’t have to be a minefield. To this day, first dates still make me sick with stress and nerves. I overthink my outfit, my voice, and whether my smile looks right. But once I’m there, it’s rarely as bad as I imagine.

That being said, I have had bad dates. I’ve had awkward silences and forced affection. But I’ve also had wonderful ones, fun, flirty, or even completely platonic, where I left with a new friend instead of a crush. That’s the thing about dating in college: it’s unpredictable. If the hit dating show Love Island taught us something surprisingly real: sometimes you’re torn between committing to something good or holding out for something that might be great. There’s no easy answer.

Chris and Huda’s final date, Love Island Season 7.
credit: Ben Symons/Peacock

The best guide, in the end, is your gut.

Don’t commit just because you feel you’re supposed to. Don’t date just to prove you can. And definitely don’t beat yourself up if you haven’t had a “serious” relationship by a certain age. Everyone moves through this process at their own pace, on their own path. Love, however it looks, finds people in different ways and at different times.

That said, you do have to put yourself out there. That’s part of the process. Be open. Be brave. Be willing to laugh about the disasters and appreciate the little moments. But don’t let dating become something that drains you to the point of hopelessness. 

Dating in college should feel like an adventure, not a punishment. A search for connection, for romance, or just for a good story. Whether you’re looking for a life partner or just a dinner date who makes you laugh, remember: this is your timeline, and there’s no wrong way to move through it.

Just breathe, and have fun!

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By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram andTikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for ournewsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

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Crash Course Connections Ch. 5: The Third Space

Wednesday, July 9th, 2025

College campuses are inherently conducive to connection and community. From frat life to campus food halls, cafes, and sprawling green lawns for picnics and post-class hangouts, they often serve as self-contained bubbles of social activity. It’s easy to forget the vastness of the world beyond your college gates when everything you need seems to exist within them. NYU, however, famously brags that though it doesn’t offer the traditional campus experience, “the city is your campus.” And honestly, that mostly checks out.

During the fall and spring, from West Houston to Union Square, NYU students are everywhere. We flood the cafes, comb through the thrift shops, linger at halal trucks, and turn every bookstore into a study nook. In a borough of nearly 1.7 million people, I still manage to run into my campus crush, my favorite professor, and my academic nemesis all in the same week.

But one of the most underrated perks of going to a school “without walls” is the natural encouragement to explore third spaces—places that exist outside of school and home. These are the environments where you start to find yourself beyond your student identity.

A third space is defined as any social setting outside of one’s home (the first space) and work or school (the second space). It’s where people gather, interact, and slowly, sometimes unintentionally, build community. Coffee shops, libraries, parks, gyms, and even online spaces can all function this way. For me, third spaces have been the key to experiencing connections that extend beyond the classroom.

Photo of La Colombe off Lafayette taken from bar.

One of my favorite third spaces is La Colombe—the location on Lafayette Street, specifically. It’s a chain, sure, but there’s something about this particular cafe that drew me in. It started out as my go-to alternative when Bobst Library started to feel a little too stuffy. I liked the light, the energy, and the cold brew. But then one of the baristas told me I looked like Ariel from The Little Mermaid, and I was hooked (pun very much intended).

From that point on, I became a regular—not just because of the caffeine, but because of the people. I got to know the baristas by name, and before long, they became my first real friends outside the world of NYU. It started to feel like its own little ecosystem.

Midterms season rolled around, and I needed an outlet. I’ve always used baking to decompress, but my roommates could only eat so many brown butter cookies and Basque cheesecakes. So, I brought a few treats to the cafe. The reaction was immediate and warm: ”thank-you” free coffee, and a new kind of reciprocity. I started sitting at the bar whenever I came in. Between rushes, baristas would pause to chat. Sometimes my new friends would slide into the seat next to me on their break and catch up for a bit. Eventually, they invited me to their Friendsgiving.

The infamous barista Friendsgiving.

There’s something grounding about having relationships with people who aren’t students, people who are still in their twenties and thirties but a few steps ahead in life. They aren’t worried about club e-board elections or what their thesis is going to be about. They remind me that life keeps unfolding beyond the classroom and that identity can exist outside of resume lines.

Third spaces give us the rare chance to be seen as full people—not just as students or workers, but as regulars, neighbors, and community members. In a city as overwhelming as New York, it’s easy to feel anonymous. But in a third space, you can start to feel known.

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By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram andTikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for ournewsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

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Crash Course Connections Ch. 4: Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2025

“Men and women can never be just friends.” It’s a message we’ve heard time and time again from pop culture. From the classic will-they-won’t-they dynamic of When Harry Met Sally to the heartbreak in My Best Friend’s Wedding, the suggestion is clear: platonic relationships between men and women are rare, unstable, or inevitably romantic, unless one is gay or already taken (and even that isn’t a guarantee).

Since I didn’t have male friends in high school, I decided to test this theory when I came to college. What I found was far more nuanced than Hollywood would have us believe.

As children, gender doesn’t matter much in friendships. Sure, some of us have “kindergarten boyfriends” or giggle over crushes, but there’s no real romantic intent. That all begins to change when puberty starts. Suddenly, there’s an invisible pressure surrounding every boy-girl interaction, especially if physical attraction is involved. Even when there’s no chemistry, platonic intimacy between men and women often carries social baggage. People expect something more. And that expectation complicates things.

Despite this, I believe men and women can be friends—even when there is or was attraction involved. Over my time in college, I’ve had both successful and failed friendships with men. The determining factor in every case has been maturity. Mutual respect, emotional self-awareness, and clear communication are essential. There’s no one-size-fits-all rule, because you can only control your own behavior, not how the other person feels or acts.

Man and woman signifying strictly platonic relationship https://qleanmarket.amanaimages.com/items

One of my first close male friends in college was Jack. We met in class and kept running into each other until casual conversations turned into a solid friendship. We had similar upbringings and a shared sense of humor. At first, I wasn’t sure how to navigate the friendship, and I wondered if he had ulterior motives or if I might be attracted to him. But over time, I realized we could genuinely enjoy each other’s company without anything romantic.

Jack became part of my friend group, and we even went on a group trip together that summer. But by junior year, tensions between him and others in our group escalated. Eventually, I was the only remaining tie between Jack and the rest of our circle.

I was torn. The conflict didn’t involve me directly, but I couldn’t ignore the emotional toll it was taking. I care deeply for my friends, and when they’re hurt or disrespected, I feel it too. Ultimately, I decided to create some distance between Jack and myself. That space brought clarity and peace. It’s important to recognize when a relationship is no longer mutual and nourishing (platonic or otherwise). You’re allowed to step away from connections that drain you.

Jack was my first real example of what platonic love between a man and a woman could look like. That experience helped me build fulfilling friendships later, like with Tyler, a barista I see regularly, and Brian, another friend from school.

Attraction can complicate things, but it doesn’t have to destroy the possibility of friendship. Sometimes it leads to a romantic relationship; other times, it fades or exists unreciprocated. If you sense romantic tension—yours or theirs—addressing it honestly is usually the healthiest path forward. It can be risky, especially if you have strong feelings, but clarity is better than emotional limbo. If your feelings are mild or unclear, it may be best to focus elsewhere and pay attention to how they interact with you.

If the other person is in a committed relationship, respecting that boundary is crucial. True friendship cannot thrive if it undermines someone else’s partnership.

In the end, friendships between men and women are possible, but they require maturity, honesty, and emotional intelligence from both parties. And like any meaningful relationship, they’re worth the effort.

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By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram andTikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for ournewsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.
As always, let me know if you have any questions!

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Crash Course Connections Ch. 3: Parenting Apart

Wednesday, June 25th, 2025

For many, college represents the first real step into adulthood. It’s a time of personal growth, exploration, and, inevitably, distance from the comfort of home. Whether you’re just a few miles down the road or hours away by plane, the transition is rarely easy. It’s not just about leaving your bed or your family meals behind; it’s about redefining your daily support system. One of the most unexpected challenges I faced wasn’t the academic load or even the social adjustment- it was recalibrating my relationship with my parents.

When I moved from Long Island to Manhattan for college, I initially thought I was too close to home. A simple train ride away, I figured I’d be able to maintain my independence while still dipping back into the familiarity of home whenever I wanted. I had spent that last summer completely surrounded by my family, and I was more than ready, or so I thought, to spread my wings. I welcomed the idea of a break, some distance, a fresh start.

My parents, Ed and Katina O’Connor circa 2000.

But reality hit hard. My dorm room felt cold and empty the first night. It wasn’t the physical distance that got to me; it was the emotional shift. I found myself calling home far more than I expected. I’d call to ask about little things like laundry or just to hear a familiar voice. It wasn’t my parents checking up on me; I was the one reaching out.And in those first few weeks, I went home three out of the four weekends. Looking back, I realize I was trying to straddle two worlds, not fully committing to either. As much as I wanted to build something new, I couldn’t let go of the old.

But this is where some advice I got during my senior year of high school came back to me. My guidance counselor, Mr. Spenato, told me something that really stuck:

“You will be homesick. Those first few months are hard. Many students go back home thinking they’re not ready, that they should take a gap year. And for a select few, maybe that’s true. But for most? They just need to push through. Call home as much as you want but, stay there. Give it a real shot.”

Graphic of girl feeling homesick while studying. Illustration by Ren Rader

So I stayed. I still called home often, sometimes daily, but I began putting more energy into life at college rather than life outside of it. I said yes to social events, joined clubs, explored the city, and slowly began building a routine. I carved out a space for myself in a place that initially felt so foreign.

It didn’t happen overnight. But little by little, what once felt strange started to feel normal. My relationship with my parents evolved, too. Instead of being part of every moment, they became the people I updated—my biggest fans from afar. As I grew more comfortable with my independence, our conversations became less about needing comfort and more about sharing my growth.

In hindsight, I see how important that shift was. You don’t lose your relationship with your parents in college;, you simply redefine it. They stop being your constant presence and become your foundation. And through that distance, I found a new appreciation for the bond we shared.

Family trip to Disney, right before I began my first semester at NYU.

College forces you to change both your environment and how you relate to the people who raised you. It’s a painful process at times, but it’s also essential. You come out of it more independent, more self-aware, and often, with a stronger relationship than before.

So if you’re in the thick of that first semester and wondering whether it gets better, know that it does. Push through the homesickness. Stay. Give it a real shot. And call home when you need to.


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By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram andTikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for ournewsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

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Crash Course Connections Ch. 2: Roommates

Wednesday, June 18th, 2025

Your roommates might be the first people you meet in college. Maybe you click instantly, living together is a breeze, and you’re naming each other maid of honor by mid-September. Or maybe they become your nemesis. More often, it’s something in between: you coexist peacefully but keep your distance, or you barely interact at all. So how do you navigate this wide spectrum of roommate relationships? I’ve experienced both ends (and everything in between), so let’s talk about it.

My first roommate—let’s call her Jennifer—was one of my first friends at NYU. She was sweet, but tension started building when she consistently avoided doing her share of the chores. Jennifer was more reserved, so I went out of my way to include her: I welcomed her into my friend group, invited her to hangouts, and tried to help her feel at home in a new city. But that generosity eventually became a burden. Her dependency began to impact my social life and personal experiences.

I remember a road trip to D.C. early in freshman year. Jennifer brought only heels and struggled to walk around the city, making it hard for her to enjoy or participate in our planned activities. When asked what she’d prefer to do, she offered no suggestions. By the end of the trip, she had to be reminded to make her own meals and clean up the Airbnb, arguably basic responsibilities she seemed to struggle with.

In situations like this, open and honest communication is crucial. I shared my frustrations with her multiple times about her lack of contribution to our living space and her passivity in our friendship. She always received the feedback politely, but nothing changed. Eventually, it started affecting my ability to stay close with her.

When you don’t have a strong relationship with your roommate, a lack of communication can lead to some… interesting surprises. One night after dinner, I came back to our room to find a camping tent on Jennifer’s bed. She had placed her mattress inside it for “privacy” and to block out light. Soon after, she became almost fully nocturnal, taking advantage of her online classes. That shift only added more distance between us.

Here’s what I learned from that experience:
First, not every friendship, no matter how close it once felt, is meant to last. Sometimes, the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you see your intolerable differences. Letting go is healthy. Friendships require effort from both sides, and when that effort isn’t mutual, it’s okay to step away. That’s not cruelty; it’s self-preservation.

Second, even the people closest to you can’t read your mind. While I communicated my bigger frustrations to Jennifer, I let a lot of smaller irritations build up silently. That resentment took a toll. You don’t have to nitpick every minor inconvenience, but speaking up calmly and clearly before things spiral is often much easier than bottling everything up. After all, you’re sharing a space. Both people deserve to feel comfortable.

Frustrated woman confronting her roommate’s uncleanliness.

Now, let’s flip the script: what if you’re rooming with your best friends? That can be a dream come true or a fast track to disaster if you’re not prepared for the shift in dynamics. Yes, they’re your “besties,” but now they’re also your roommates. Respect their time and space, and don’t let your friendship make you slack on your responsibilities. A clean, welcoming living environment is still the goal.

As someone who has now lived with her best friends for over a year, I can say this with confidence: communication is everything.

Living with people you love requires the same toolkit as living with strangers. You will disagree, but it’s how you handle those moments that defines the experience. Be open to compromise. Maintain your boundaries and respect theirs. Do that, and you’ll not only survive: you’ll make some of the best memories of your college years.

Have fun, and good luck!

Holiday party at my roommates’ and I’s apartment last semester.
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By Logan O’Connor

Logan is a rising senior at NYU pursuing degrees in Journalism and Politics. She grew up on Long Island, but always dreamed of living in New York City. When she’s not in class or at her favorite local cafe, you can find her wandering the city (film camera in hand) or baking up a storm in her kitchen.

For over 25 years, the Campus Clipper has helped college students in New York City—and later in Boston and Philadelphia—save money and succeed in city life. We offer a digital coupon booklet with discounts on food, clothing, and services, plus an Official Student Guidebook with real advice on how to navigate college life in a big city. Our internship program lets students build skills, earn money, and publish their own e-books. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @CampusClipper, and sign up for our newsletter to get deals straight to your inbox. To access the digital coupons, scan the QR code on our printed card—available in dorms, student centers, and around campus.

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Finding Your People in a City of 8 Million

Wednesday, June 11th, 2025

New York City  can feel like you are dropped into a sea of strangers when you first arrive. The sidewalks are always crowded, the subway cars are packed, and even the local Trader Joe’s is always swarming with people. Despite being constantly surrounded by others, it’s easy to feel completely alone. I know firsthand that college students, especially those who’ve moved from quieter places, can feel this loneliness hit hard, like an oncoming train. Most kids have to adjust to a new school, which is already scary, but when moving to NYC, you’re building a whole new life from scratch in a city filled with 8 million people. So, how do you get through that? Well, there is no exact answer, no step-by-step guide or recipe to follow, but what I can say is the key to surviving and thriving is by having true friends by your side. 

When I got into NYU, I knew almost no one heading into the city. Like many other incoming freshmen, I turned to Instagram to find potential roommates and maybe even a few friendly faces to recognize on campus. That’s how I found the person who ended up being my roommate, but also my best friend. I was hesitant to reach out, but when I saw that we had a lot of similarities, I figured hitting send on a DM to her was worth the shot. We ended up bonding over a shared love for Harry Styles and our excitement for not having to use communal bathrooms at NYU. What started as a few DMs turned into something much deeper. The day we moved in, we connected instantly, and by the end of that first week, we were finishing each other’s sentences. 

My roomie and I excited over a billboard featuring Harry Styles & Florence Pugh

After countless midnight snack runs, sometimes even in the rain, we decided we wanted to connect with other students in our building. I had the unique idea of playing tic-tac-toe through our dorm room doors. Literally. We would scribble Xs and Os on paper and slide them under random kids’ doors and then sit back on the floor of our room eagerly awaiting for a paper to slide back under our door. We felt like kids passing notes in class, which was both nostalgic and comforting. It might have been silly, and maybe even a tad childish, but it made those first few weeks feel a little less scary. 

My relationship with my roommate was rare and something I still cherish today as we are going into our fourth year of living together. However, not everyone finds their people on day one, and that is both completely okay and normal. The truth is, it takes time to form real, lasting connections in a place as busy and quickly paced as NYC. You’ll meet hundreds of people in your first semester alone, whether it’s in the classroom, club meetings, or even the elevators. Some people may ask if the seat next to you is taken and then never see you again. Some friendships will fade, but the exciting part is that some will stick forever. 

Just a couple of days ago, I sat down on a bench waiting to meet my mom and stepdad for lunch, and a girl sitting next to me suddenly turned and started talking. She was visiting her friend in the city, and we chatted for 15 minutes about both everything and nothing. There was no agenda, no expectation. It reminded me that in this city, friendships often begin with the smallest gestures, like a comment about the weather, a compliment on someone’s outfit, or even a game of tic-tac-toe between two dorm doors. 

One of the most important things that I’ve learned over the past few years is that finding your people in NYC is a journey, not a race. You have to relax and trust that you will meet your people, whether it’s in your DMs, on a park bench, or maybe even in the room next door. And when you do meet them, hold onto them. In a city of 8 million, those few who truly get the real you, make all the difference.  

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By: Skylar Park

Skylar Park is a Film & TV student at NYU with a passion for storytelling and city adventures. When she’s not writing or filming, you can find her running by the East River or hunting down the coziest bookstores in New York City.

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At an impasse

Wednesday, October 30th, 2024

It is an understatement and perhaps an overused phrase that we, as humans, are afraid of change. It is true that some biological instinct makes change hard. Our bodies dislike it. Our brains don’t know how to move past what we already know. Something new can easily teeter between exciting or anxiety-inducing. 

When I moved from L.A. to finish my degree in Boston, I expected a lot of change. I did not, however, anticipate escapism to knock on my door; I thought it was something intrinsic to my hometown. So, why did it follow me three thousand miles to Boston? 

As I made many wonderful new friends, something in me revolted. My brain cried: There is something off! There is something not right here! Bad energy! Even now, something angers me or annoys me, and my brain tells me: Turn away; let it go; move past this. 

I have come to realize that while in some instances my anger or annoyance is a logical consequence of the situation, other times it is simply a form of escapism—an avoidant attachment and a desire not to deal with the hard stuff—and homesickness. 

Harvard Campus!

Escapism: 

Recently, a friend of mine and I fell into the wonderful trope of miscommunication or, rather, misinterpretation. I felt almost irrationally angry. My anger was like a beacon to escapism—the need to push him away and avoid the situation arising swiftly. It would not subside.

I walked into my dorm that night and asked my friend (also my roommate) if I could rant about it. They told me to give them a second because they needed to finish an assignment first. Their pause gave me pause as well. At that moment, I self-reflected and remembered my values. I realized: I am an adult, and I can and need to communicate. So, I texted my friend, and thirty minutes later we sat down and talked, and now our relationship is back to normal. 

Homesickness: 

I never thought I was one to be homesick. When I hear the word I call to mind crying in bed and a staunching loneliness that blurs out the rest of the world. I forget, sometimes, that there are shades of gray. 

When I talk to my friends here, I look for traces of the people I love from back home. I look for their smile, laughter, the little quirks that make me feel at ease—at home within a person. When I don’t find it, I feel sick. I feel angry. I feel like there is something wrong. My instinct is to pull away. 

In reality, I am just missing the people I love the most. And it is in those times I want to pull away that I must ground myself in my values, my wants, and my needs; I value love, I want to be friends with all these wonderful people I meet, and I need to be present to be happy. (And maybe, it is time to call those people I miss so dearly). 

Boston Book Festival 2024!

Values: 

We all like to put our best foot forward. Tell people we don’t yell, aren’t passive-aggressive, and can communicate. Then, it comes to these circumstances, when the anger actually shows up, and it all falls apart. 

By identifying our values, by living in the present moment, we can stop ourselves from acting on those emotions. For example, I value honesty, communication, and love. (I have chosen three values, so as not to overcomplicate my life—to minimize conflicts). In anger, I wanted to push my friend away. But with the pause, I realized that that was not what I wanted. Just what my emotions wanted. 

The more we live off our values, the easier it becomes. Now, when I have anger and it is time to communicate, I do not fall into its traps. I do not raise my voice, yell, or act passive-aggressive. Instead, I am honest—kindly, not brutally—and I set boundaries. If someone calls or does something where I feel my anger rise to a point of no control, I ask myself to pause. I re-evaluate. I calm down. Because at the end of the day, relationships matter most to me. And I must show up every day with that in mind and remember what is more important to me: my anger, or my friend and our relationship?

If you can’t tell, I love Fall foliage!

Choosing Personal Values: 

Choosing our values can be as easy as just asking ourselves: “What do we value?” Other times, it is a more prolonged journey. To make it simpler, and cut down the time to identify our values we can self-reflect through journaling or meditation. 

Some Journal prompts to identify personal values include: 

  1. Who are the people you admire most? Why? What qualities do they have that you wish to emulate? 
  2. What things make you feel jealous? 
  3. What things make you feel angry? (E.g. I feel angry when I feel something is unfair, which means I value fairness, which I place under the category of love). 
  4. When were some of the times you felt most yourself? Most aligned with your higher purpose? 
  5. When are the moments you felt regret? What would you have done differently to live with no regret? (The quality you identify that would remove the regret from the situation, may be a personal value). 
With the stress of midterms de-stress with arts and crafts! Blick offers 10% off for students!

Ultimate Fulfillment:

I am not scared of death. That is not to say, I look forward to my death day; I quite enjoy life. I am not scared because I find fulfillment in my everyday life. By identifying my values, I can live every day with a purpose, and feel fulfilled. 

I value honesty and communication, so I never let my anger burn to resentment. I say how I feel and trust that what and who is meant for me will not turn away. 

I value love, so I call my friends. I send my best friend letters filled with doodles and my innermost thoughts. I ask my friends to go get dinner and hear about their day. I go to the park and appreciate the beauty of the world, so filled with love if you choose to see it: in the couple holding hands, the turkey cuddled up by a tree, the squirrels bounding across the grass, the friends giggling, the moon shining bright in the sky, and you, watching it all. 

With values, we can never live a life of regret. Instead, we live a life of ultimate fulfillment. 

Molly Peay is pursuing her BA in Writing, Literature, and Publishing from Emerson College in Boston. She is a transfer student who graduated from a JC with an English Associate’s Degree and a General Studies Associate with an emphasis in Culture and Communication. She is passionate about leadership, advocacy, writing, and sharing new voices through art.

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