A major part of growing older and becoming your own person is developing your own values and witnessing them transform over time. But while in college, one of the major challenges you may face is understanding what your guiding beliefs are and how to respond when they are challenged. No matter your background, once you find yourself separated from your home community—regardless of whether that’s by distance or by atmosphere—you’ll have to decide: According to which principles do you intend to live your life?
To help other “becoming” individuals reflect on how to determine which values are truly their own, I spoke with my friend Grace, a rising junior at California Baptist University who is as intrigued by discussions on belief as she is devoted to her own.
She described the core principles that guide her life. The first she named “Optimism” and expanded, saying, “I like to think that I try to find the best in every situation and every person I come across…I think life is more enjoyable for you and for those around you when you choose to work through hardships with a little hope.”
She shared the verse 1 Corinthians 13:3-7, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Grace elaborated on how she aims to align her interpersonal approach with this verse, saying, “I don’t do any of these things perfectly, but I think it’s important to remember when we meet people… Seeing the best in people not only gives me a brighter outlook on life but can also help someone to know that someone else believes in them and wants them to be good… We should hope that tomorrow we can all be a little bit better than yesterday.”
Secondly, she mentioned minding this mantra: “Life is what you make of it.” She discovered its prevalence in her life through a comparison of her high school and college sophomore years. She explained, “My sophomore year of high school was very difficult… Coming into my sophomore year of college… Something about “sophomore” held a looming gloom about it.” But she remembered her mantra, and despite still experiencing a lot of difficulty, she realized that “the difference between high school and college was gaining the mindset that every experience holds something that we can benefit from.”
Sharing how her principles influence her perspective on the college experience, she illustrated the significance of paying attention to the people around you. She shared that “coming into college [she] kept to herself. Then, [she] met someone who just talked to everybody… And every time, without fail, that stranger walked away feeling so special, cared about, and heard… [She] saw how happy it made other people and how happy it made him.” So she adopted this particular interest in others and described it as “one of the best decisions [she] makes every day.” She learned to look beyond her academic focuses because “intentionally loving people doesn’t take away from [her] scholastics.”
To touch on areas that may be more difficult for students to navigate, I asked Grace to walk me through how she aligns her time with her beliefs. She explained that it’s about having a clear perspective of one’s values. For Grace, “her faith is first, so no matter what the day holds or how late it is, she makes sure it gets the time it deserves.” Then, she prioritizes spending time with other people and has found “having one-on-ones in coffee shops to be one of [her] favorite things to do ever.” Despite her fears that there may be awkwardness or that she may not even see the other person again, “[she] has never regretted it.”
As for standing by her convictions, Grace has come to “love putting [herself] in positions where [she] gets to listen to people [she] disagrees with.” She explained, “I’m very confident in what I believe, and so are other people, and I want to know why.”
Of course, on the other hand, there’s the pressure to conform when it feels like you’re not on the same mental, emotional, or spiritual page as your peers. But Grace remembers that “when the courage for [her] convictions is from God, they are at their strongest.” She knows that “avoiding conforming isn’t easy, and [she] fails all the time…[but] something that gives [her] courage is that Jesus completely understands [her], always…[She] fails, and He picks [her] up and lets [her] try again and again.”
So regardless of your specific faith, spiritual, philosophical, or ideological bearing, if you’re looking to live more in tune with your convictions, take Grace’s advice. First, “decide what your values are” and determine their source. “Then, think: How can I put this into action? And do it.”
By Lauren Gascon
Lauren Gascon studies Media, Culture, and Communication at NYU and enjoys discussing people’s relationships with each other and themselves. When she’s not on campus, you can find her café hopping, browsing bookstores, or enjoying lunch in one of New York City’s many beautiful parks.
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