Friday mornings are reserved for yoga classes with Monica. Somehow the night before always without doubt entails going to sleep with wet hair. In the morning, I groggily look into the mirror just to jump from the horror of my black streaks crimped in uneven bumps. As well as I tame it — it never ends up being remotely normal.
This is how I greet Monica and how she knows I, unlike her, am not a morning person at all. However, after repeated down-dogs and chaturangas, we partake in our most coveted task of the day: grocery shopping.
Equipped with two bags, we hurriedly rush to the bus stop until it finally arrives late as usual. It is then that we wait 20 stops from our dorm to the 96th street shopping area that we finally get off. Starting at Trader Joes, she watches as I pile on a bunch of random ingredients to make my two-weeks’ worth of dinners and lunches. This is how she learns I do not typically do breakfast. Sourdough, honey-flavored greek yogurt, and a carton of eggs are always in my basket; she points them out to me easily.
“The usual?”
She learns my preferences by watching my careful selection. I show her my ingredients for my ‘world famous’ sandwiches while she takes on her own basket. If there’s one thing that our grocery runs have taught me, it’s that Monica is always stocked up on fruit, yet it is also the item that she typically finishes before all her other produce. Her favorite being Pomelos.
After Trader Joes, Monica is not finished as the second round is yet to begin. Whole Foods is our next stop where she gets all her meats and more fruit. Beef, squid tubes, and much more — she is not shy about her diet because there is not a single thing she despises and does not eat. Only when the cashier hands her the receipt can I feel accomplished, three bags of groceries later.
Each week, we continue this routine. I always scan the fridge for my own section to see what I have left only to find her side empty. When I ask her about it on Thursday evening, she smiles and simply asks, “Can we go grocery shopping again?” Unbeknown to most, within this supposedly boring task is a secret: the intimate nature of grocery shopping. Learning each others’ preferences enables a deeper understanding of a person — a possible conversation starter.
“Why don’t you like tomatoes?”
“Too citrusy and I HATE the texture.”
Not to mention, bonding over your differing or similar diets forms a more intimate connection stemming from our positions with certain foods. Choices in grocery shopping alerts us to what others enjoy, stories about such food, and vice-versa. When Monica and I go grocery shopping, I get to see exactly what she decides to fuel her body with and I begin to associate her likes and dislikes with our friendship. Her dislikes become at the forefront when we choose to make suggestions for recipes or restaurants or even ingredients to one another.
Every Friday, we set time aside to go grab produce together and it is a key reason that we are so understanding of one another. I get to connect with her by spending time picking out blue berries or strawberries while also learning what cuisines exist for her. Her choices all reflect what type of person she is and her experiences. Like when Monica picks meat, she prefers to fuel her body with the most nutritious and fresh items; getting meat only from Whole Foods and never prepackaged.
With each Friday, I get to know this and learn so much more about her. From what ingredients exist in her hometown to the quality difference in the United States, our shared time has let us get to know one another through discussing and choosing food for the week.
Although mundane, grocery shopping carries the power to make connections with others and learn constantly by reflecting others’ livelihoods. It is a unique college practice that I invite others to do. Form a routine with friends and take grocery shopping as a sidequest worthy of getting to know them better.
Grocery shopping can be bonding.
By Alyssa Hong
Alyssa Hong is a rising Junior at Barnard College, studying Political Science with a minor in English. As a first-generation, low-income student, she writes about moving across the country for college and its adjustments. She utilizes entertainment, wellness/health/food, and fashion/beauty as methods to making new connections with others whilst always learning.
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