A Good & Bad Relationship

We can all agree that the idea of a relationship sounds fun and intriguing, but what about the negative side of it? Not only have I seen high quality partnerships, but also toxic relationships– both in real life and online. I understand that people begin the love journey on good terms because they’re genuinely infatuated with one another and can visualize a future together. However, that equal level of attraction and commitment is subject to change; one person could grow more distant or display overbearing deeds, in fact it may be both parties corrupting the relationship. It’s important to keep a couple of points in mind to distinguish between a toxic relationship and a normal relationship. For example, if there are a few disagreements or altercations from time to time then that’s perfectly fine and not much to worry about. We’re all going to encounter conflict eventually, which is part of life and the solution to this is communication with your partner. A stable and beautiful relationship is what we’re all striving for and it takes a great deal of diligence to accomplish that. In the grand scheme of things, note that the quality of one’s relationship is a reflection of their life. 

Oftentimes, we idealize love as the center of happiness and pleasure but don’t see the depths of it. What we don’t know for certain is that the person on the inside matches up with how people see you on the outside, meaning that a whole new persona can be spawned in a different setting. What I mean is that someone could be compassionate and sweet at home, but be the total opposite outdoors through impudent behavior. If you witness something out of the ordinary then please stay on your guard and try to remedy the circumstances, take action before it’s too late. An extensive study with a duration of 12.2 years deduced that those in toxic relationships are more prone to heart problems than counterparts whose relationships are blossoming. I can only provide you with guidelines and insight on what an excellent relationship looks like and the type of relationship you should escape from. Nevertheless, I can’t decide what works best for you as you’ll have to take responsibility and rely on your own judgement.


Signs of a Good Relationship

  • Exchange of Positivity: Having a positive outlook in life goes a long way in creating success; as such, you’ll be able to draw more attention and find new opportunities. Producing that same type of energy will make your significant other feel more special and appreciated. For instance, you can praise them by expressing how much they mean to you. As humans, we seek validation and this applies to your significant other as well so try to brighten up their day.
  • Trust & Support: The structure of a good relationship stems from being able to trust each other and having each other’s back. Your partner should feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and be open to having conversations even if the topic may be sensitive. When you let your walls down, it’s okay to exhibit a vulnerable side of you since the level of love and reverence is mutual. 
  • Affection: It’s crucial to be open to intimacy, they’re fundamental to a romantic relationship. Whether it be physical intimacy or sexual intimacy, the aspect of touching one another is an emblem of the fondness you have for them; they’re all topics that you’ll eventually have to dive into if you wish to sustain the relationship. What’s more is that physical touch is actually one of the five love languages. It doesn’t have to be the sexiest thing in the world, but please give them hugs, hold their hand, kiss them, and put your hand on their shoulder. I’m not implying that PDA is the goal here, but just be considerate and know your timing if you’re surrounded by crowds of people.

Red Flags

  • Secrecy: Now you don’t have to inform your partner everything that happens in your day, what I’m alluding to here is deception. Actions such as lying and attempting to cover up a story will inevitably impair your relationship and lead to a big debacle. For instance, if you suspect that your partner is being protective of her phone or computer then there’s obviously something wrong. Cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend is very common in society and it’s all the more reason to keep a vigilant eye when something seems peculiar.
  • One-sided & skewed: A relationship comprises two individuals who choose to walk life together and enjoy each other’s company. If one person is making it all about themself while neglecting the other’s wants then walk the other way because it’s called being egotistical, where’s the mutual respect in this? There should be a sense of compromise, one party benefiting over the other isn’t going to work. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you because it’s unethical and you deserve a whole lot better! 
  • Physical & Emotional Abuse: The thought of being tormented can put you in a dark hell if you don’t find an exit. If you believe your partner is deliberately hurting you mentally or physically, be assertive and stay on your toes and I’d say to get as far away as possible and inform authorities; don’t give them the benefit of the doubt and be remorseful if he or she attempts to justify their behavior. Physical acts of violence include choking, pushing, and anything that inflicts damage to you. Meanwhile, emotional abuse can take shape verbally through humiliation, ultimatums, coercion, and more.

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By: Alex Huang

Alex is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology majoring in Advertising & Marketing Communications. He used to major in psychology because he didn’t know what to do with his life and now wants to be in the business world. He gets distracted easily by all of the pretty girls in New York City and hopes to become a PR or Marketing manager someday. One of his favorite things to do is going out for bubble tea.

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