Posts Tagged ‘movies’

Will a Fight Be the End of Us?

Monday, July 4th, 2022

When I was 15, I was in my first relationship. I was so fascinated with the idea of love, as everyone is at that age. I was caught up in the idea of him being my prince charming, and  I found myself looking for him in every romantic lead in the movies. So much so, that I had ignored the reality of the relationship. And it wasn’t until I was about a year out of the relationship everything that had happened had sunk in. 

Being in this relationship, I remember we would fight all the time. However, I found myself not picking fights only for attention but also for some sense  that he still cared what happened to us. Instead, I was censoring myself and apologizing for things I had no reasons to apologize for for fear of starting a fight, precautions that would ultimately fail because we would fight anyway., I was always so scared of a fight because long periods of this all-consuming silence would follow, a silence that felt like death to me. I wouldn’t eat, had no interest in anything or spending time with anyone. I just wanted to sit by my phone, waiting for a response and a chalked-up apology. A fight is bad, but the silence after is the worst; because then you start to question if maybe the two of you would ever speak again. The silence is an easy break.

Sheri Stritof, author of, “ What Couples Should Know About the Silent Treatment” for verywellmind.com, writes, in summary, that silence can be well intentioned in some situations, as time to cool-off after a fight or allow room for the topic to be discussed at a later time when emotions aren’t as high. However, silence after a fight becomes harmful when it is being used to assert dominance over the other person in the relationship. It generates feelings of anxiety and frustration that their partner doesn’t even want to communicate to solve the issue.

Image Credit: https://clipart.world

And yet, fighting in relationships is inevitable. When two people are working together to make a relationship, of course there are going to be disagreements, hurt feelings, and necessary room for forgiveness. In fact, Elizabeth Plumptre author of, “Why It’s Good to Fight in a Relationship,” an article for verywellmind.com that details how fighting, to some extent, is healthy for a relationship. Plumptre discusses that when fights come about in relationships, it is important not to raise voices nor use accusatory language. That it is essential to listen and hold each other and ourselves accountable when in the wrong. Plumptre goes on to say that, in a way, fighting can not only strengthen the relationship but healthy fights can also remove the fear of a breakup after a fight or any other fears attached to fighting with your partner.

So, it takes some time to heal a mind that fears the end in every fight. That fear can even last for some time in a healthy relationship until you get used to a healthy or successful way of fighting, which Plumptre refers to, by listening to each other and understanding where they are coming from. In general, your partner’s reaction to a fight is the tell-tale answer to the question: will a fight be the end of us? Going along with what both Stritof and Plumptre discuss,  using silence as leverage is ineffective and abusive in fights. And communication is what eases a chaotic mind in the midst of a fight. a fight will not be the end of the relationship, even if you need to take a minute to cool down. Discussing how you feel with your partner and what made you feel a certain way is a better way to have a fight.

Relationships aren’t going to be like the movies or how a 15-year-old me dreamed because the movies don’t show every aspect of a relationship within the limited run time.

And my 15-year-old self also enjoyed eating dumplings when watching any type of romantic comedy! So, take this coupon and get 15% off at Dumpling N’ Dips when you show your student ID!

By: Ashley Geiser 

Ashley Geiser is a Junior studying English with a concentration in Creative Writing at Pace University. She is also the Editor-in-Chief and Co-President for Her Campus at Pace. She loves reading and editing. And when she is not reading or editing, she can be found baking in her kitchen.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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You Are What You Read

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

English novelist Angela Carter once said, “Reading a book is like re-writing it for yourself. You bring to a novel, anything you read, all your experience of the world. You bring your history and you read it in your own terms.” Escaping into the pages of a book is one of my favorite ways to feel both relaxed and creative at the same time. As a reader and writer, getting lost in a novel is a very therapeutic experience for me. Literature comes to life more so when I am able to relate to the story that is unfolding. Just like when I listen to Taylor Swift, when I read about a character that goes through the same experiences I do, it feels personal and safe.

Taylor Swift once told a fan she loves the novel Normal People by Sally Rooney. After reading it and watching the series adaptation on Hulu, I completely understand why she recommends it. The main characters, Connell and Marianne, struggle to communicate their feelings to each other throughout the novel. Their words get lost in translation and they never truly know what the other is feeling. While reading Normal People, I imagined myself in the story because there are often instances where I assume how someone else feels instead of asking straightforwardly. This can lead me to overthink and sometimes create irrational scenarios in my head. A part of me knows this can all be solved by being direct about my feelings, but it is easier said than done. But as Rooney’s characters showed me, I’m not the only one who does this. And certainly Taylor Swift has shown she does this too, with lyrics like “I’d tell you I miss you but I don’t know how” and “Here’s to silence that cuts me to the core.”

When I first read The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid, Swift’s song, “The Lucky One (Taylor’s Version),” instantly started playing in my head. The story goes into detail about the main character, an actress named Evelyn Hugo, who achieved great fame and success but lacks happiness in her life. Although she is viewed as “The Lucky One” because of her looks and wealth, she does not actually feel like it. “And they tell you that you’re lucky but you’re so confused ‘cause you don’t feel pretty, you just feel used,” is the Taylor Swift lyric I believe deeply connects with this character. Evelyn Hugo had to lock certain parts of herself away in order to maintain her public image, which is certainly a universal feeling among women.

My copies of Normal People and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo.

Reading is inherently imaginative and expressive because we place our own lives and feelings within these plots. The way we interpret a story is what makes each person’s experience reading it individual. I feel lucky that I’ve read novels that give me the experience of being able to temporarily transport myself to a new, special world. However, I understand that this may not come easily to everyone. It took me a while before really finding a book that set off my love for reading, so here are a few tips to find the right book for you:

  1. Visit a local bookstore. Browsing through the displays, searching through your favorite genres, and asking for staff recommendations can lead you to the start of your reading journey.
  2. Social media. If you search “Booktok” on TikTok, you can easily find recommendations from so many different people and their unique opinions and perspectives. 
  3. Join a book club. Whether it be online, on campus, or in your city, this is a great way to integrate reading into your social life. Fun discourse can lead to deep and meaningful conversations.

Don’t forget to create a playlist of all the songs that remind you of the next book you’re reading to enhance this experience!

Use this Student Discount to pick up your favorite bagel and coffee!

By Jacqueline Rappa

Jacqueline Rappa is a rising senior at the Fashion Institute of Technology studying Advertising and Marketing Communications with a minor in English. You can find her aimlessly walking around New York City while drinking an iced coffee and listening to her favorite albums on repeat.

For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.  At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.

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Giving Back: Think Outside the Box

Tuesday, April 15th, 2014

I would like to take a moment to disclose a secretive piece of advice to you. Are you listening? Okay good. Giving back doesn’t have to involve working with an organization. Now I know you’re thinking, okay cool Sam, thanks for making me read all these articles on different organizations that don’t even matter. Well don’t think that. They do, but there are so many different ways to give back and help mankind. Use your own brain to think of creative outlets to show love every day in the city that never sleeps. But as always, if you need some inspiration, here are some ideas from other students.

 

In 2000, the movie Pay It Forward impacted and challenged viewers to realize the importance and effectiveness of doing good deeds for three people, without expecting anything in return. Although viewers were inspired, this challenge was forgotten once the business of life was piled on them. Don’t let this happen to you. Bring it back! As a person who is addicted to caffeine, I need my coffee fix every time I venture into the city, and maybe you feel the same way. The long lines never bother us as we wait for our delicious treat. But maybe instead of using our racked up Starbucks rewards for ourselves, lets “pay it forward” and use it for the person behind us in line. They don’t need to know it was you, as you slip past them with your coffee in hand and out into the city. The point is to help someone in a little way, that can change his or her whole day. Upsizing from a tall to a grande can change my mood enough. Now, if it was magically paid for, wooaaaah, even better.

 

"I see dead people"....no wait, wrong movie.

Wanna help your friends first before diving into helping others? Okay fine. Invite over friends or coworkers to your place for a homemade dinner. It’s a generous way to show them that you care. I mean forget cooking for them, the fact you clean up your house for visitors is a loving sacrifice in itself, am I right? A good meal and great conversation is a perfect way to show you care for your fellow NYC friends.

 

When I was living in Florida the summers were hot, like super hot, like no one should EVER vacation in Florida when it’s August because you gunna melt. So whenever I saw the Homeless Voice newspaper on the side of the road asking for donations I always felt bad that for 8 hours of work they may only have one drink with them. I began buying water bottles and tried giving them out every day on my way to school. In fact one guy saw me so much he called me “water bottle girl”, I guess I forgot to ever tell him my name. Other than the one time I learned, after giving out some water bottles I left in the car, that the water can become toxic once the plastic overheated, and freaked out that I could be the reason of death to homeless people in south Florida, it was pretty much a success. I mean who doesn’t want free water on a hot day?

 

Because I was handing out water bottles multiple times a week, I saw the same workers for the Homeless Voice every day. This allowed me to spark short stopped-at-a-red-light conversation with them. You never know what you can learn about someone until you speak up. Who knows, I might have been the only one to say something more than a “no thank you”, out the window of the car, or a sympathetic nod. So why not try it yourself. You don’t need to seek out the scariest homeless person in the neighborhood, or go into strange areas to do this, just be aware of who you see every day on your commute. More often than not, you see someone that could use your help. Be creative in how you can help them, whether it’s a water bottle in the summer or coffee in the winter, you can always reach out on your own and help one relationship at a time.

 

One of these water bottles is good, one is toxic. You would think it's the fallen one, but no! It could be either, dun dun DUN!

 

Think outside of the box!  Can you knit scarves? Do you have some extra coupons at a burger joint? There are so many ways to give back that don’t require you to serve in an organization. Start now!

 

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Samantha Bringas

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