Nothing is more obnoxious at dinner than getting attacked for your food choices.
No matter how proud you are about your healthy eating choices, there are always a few people with whom, even if they claim to be understanding and open-minded, you would just rather not get into a heated debate. Usually, they are the type to easily start said heated debates without realizing they raised their voices, and before you know it, you wish you hadn’t even brought up the topic of climate change/political efficacy/favorite color at all.
Though you may not be able to avoid every potential “friendly intellectual discussion” they want to have, there are a few ways to at least circumvent frustrating situations while eating out with friends. First, when collectively deciding where to go for dinner, it’s best not to throw out suggestions that are obviously specialty restaurants. Even if the name gives no hint, once the group arrives there and sees that the menu has absolutely no meat on it, your friends could feel tricked. Since you would like others to accommodate your food choices, try to think of their preferences too. If you are trying to avoid gluten, suggest a restaurant that you know has gluten-free options. If you are a vegan, throw out names of places that you know will have food you can eat but also has meat and vegetarian dishes.
Of course, after going through all of the motions of democracy, you might end up at a restaurant you have never been to and didn’t have time to research their menu. If there’s one thing that might set off your opinionated friends into an unsolicited rant, it’s watching you take fifteen minutes to order because you’re asking your server for comprehensive lists of ingredients. But you’ve been to restaurants before, and the menus for certain ethnic cuisines are practically the same citywide. Once you’ve researched one restaurant and found which dishes are safe, you can assume to a degree for other places with similar styles. A little research into pasta types will let you know which kinds have eggs, and looking up traditional recipes for Japanese foods will let you know where soy can be hiding. This can cut down on the number of questions to ask the server and avoid placing a focus on you. Great places to try for big groups are Indian restaurants with their diverse meat and vegetarian options and choices of rice or bread. Use a Campus Clipper coupon to get 15% off on a weekend when you bring 4 people or more at Cuisine of India!
Even if your friends are aware of your dietary choices, they may forget in their attempts to be generous and offer you a bite of their order. Rather than going into the reasons why you can’t share their meal, a simple “No thanks. I’m good.” will suffice. To avoid further insistence, either immediately return to your previous conversation and/or return their action by offering them some of your food. Keep the dialogue going so that it doesn’t linger too long on the table and its trappings.
When all else fails and someone decides s/he really wants to talk about why you don’t eat dairy in an opinionated and gregarious manner, let him/her go through the spiel. Chances are s/he just wants to voice opinions about it, and whether or not you respond matters less than getting the rant out of his/her system. Even if you aren’t in the mood to debate, other people might want to jump into the discussion, which will take the pressure off of you to be the sole interlocutor. If you are in a group setting, the rest of your party most likely wants the same thing you do: to hang out with friends while eating good food and having lively conversation with more laughs than speeches. If you’ve picked the right friends, they won’t let one person gang up on you or bring everyone else down.
-Avia Dell’Oste.
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