There persists in America the popular image of the average college student. It comes up time and time again, in books, movies, and popular media, with the same tropes and cliches we’ve come to love. Usually, it starts with the freshman as they stumble into their first class, bright eyed and bushy-tailed — like a lamb who does not know they are being led to the slaughter. They are rarely prepared for the barrage of exams, deadlines, and testy professors that will define their life for the next few years.
Still, the student has fun. Since they live on campus, making friends is not too difficult. They drink, go to parties, maybe join a sorority or fraternity. They stay in a cramped dorm and gain fifteen pounds at the dining halls. It’s a sort of monkish existence: the college student does not have money, but they can more or less have all their needs met within a small radius. In that way, they live in an imposed poverty, circumscribed by the confines of their campus.
At least, this is how the story goes — and it’s certainly one I absorbed avidly before I went to college myself. I was told that these are not just the hallmarks of early college living, but necessary rites of passage in youth development. College is not merely a place for students to earn their degree: they also learn how to live separate from their parents, as a kind of trial-run for adulthood. And yet, as I was soon to find out, this image does not reflect reality for all students, especially those who do not live on campus. In fact, as many as a quarter of college students reside with their parents and commute to school — meaning no dorms, no meal plans, and no 5-minute sprints between bedrooms and learning halls to catch 8 AM classes.
On the surface, this might seem easier: students in this position can theoretically dip their toes into adulthood with the help of their parents, instead of being pushed into the deep end by choosing to dorm. But the reality is often the opposite: not only might students take this option simply because they cannot afford housing costs, but they may also have family responsibilities that extend beyond the classroom. To support themselves and their households financially, many commuter students work part-time or even full-time jobs on top of a full courseload of classes. Additionally, they often have to account for meals, transportation costs, and long commutes to school. In fact, such students may be more familiar with the day-to-day realities of adulthood than ones living on campus — though this is not to say that students in either position have it easier.
Perhaps one of the greatest challenges for commuter students is building community when so many students live far away or lead busy lives outside of the classroom. At my commuter school, I initially struggled to make friends during my first few terms as a student.
I go to Hunter College, a CUNY university located in NYC’s Upper East Side. Hunter is a product of its environment. Since real estate is precious, we have no sprawling green lawns, cozy inner courtyards, or acres of nature for students to wander along. Though students at Hunter often do not wander; just like our school, we are also products of New York City. Here, clocks tick faster, so we treat minutes like money. Hold on! A second just rolled under the couch – could you get it for me? Four minutes spent at the deli waiting for coffee. Four hours last night studying for that test — and even less spent sleeping.
So, in the everyday math of time management, how do we make space for others? How do we forge relationships when it feels like nobody else is around — as if every undergrad is out for themselves? If you’re looking for a friend, you’re in luck. I’ll show you the ropes of relationship and community building at your commuter school. I’ll teach you how to make connections in unexpected places and resist the hustle culture that keeps you in isolation. If you’re looking for a friend, let me be your first one.
By Renee Ricevuto
Renee Ricevuto is pursuing a double major in English and Music at Hunter College, along with a certificate from the Thomas Hunter Honors Program. She has published her work at the University of Chicago’s Harper Review and received writing awards at her institution. She’s currently working on a research project with the Mellon Public Humanities and Social Justice Scholarship Program. When she’s not writing or researching, she loves to read, draw, sing, and embroider.
For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC, from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourages them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing, and services.
At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during the Welcome Week of 2015.
