When I first started thinking about self-care, I mostly connected it with things that made me feel more put together. Choosing an outfit, doing my makeup, taking care of my skin, or buying something small for myself could improve my mood and help me feel more confident. I still enjoy all of these things, but over time, I began to understand that self-care is not only about what we do for our appearance. It is also about the way we treat ourselves when no one else is watching.
This became especially clear to me during college. There were days when I looked completely fine from the outside but felt tired, confused, or emotionally overwhelmed. I could put together an outfit I loved, arrive at class on time, and continue with my responsibilities without anyone realizing that I was having a difficult day. Looking put together sometimes gave me confidence, but it did not always mean that I truly felt okay.
Living in New York also taught me how easy it is to ignore your own needs. The city moves quickly, and after some time, you begin moving at the same speed. There is always somewhere to go, something to finish, or another responsibility waiting for you. I used to think that slowing down meant I was being unproductive. Now I realize that constantly pushing myself does not always help me move forward.
For me, self-care has slowly become less about creating a perfect routine and more about paying attention to what I actually need. Sometimes that means spending time alone after a busy week. Other times, it means calling someone close to me instead of keeping everything inside. It can also mean changing my plans, admitting that I am tired, or giving myself more time to complete something without feeling ashamed.
One thing I have learned is that self-care does not always feel exciting. It can be making an appointment you have been avoiding, organizing your schedule, preparing food before a busy day, or having an honest conversation. These actions may not look as appealing as the versions of self-care we often see online, but they can have a much stronger effect on how we feel.
I have also become more aware of the way I speak to myself. During difficult moments, it is easy to become your own biggest critic. A small mistake can suddenly feel much larger, especially when you are already stressed. I am still learning not to judge myself so quickly. Instead of immediately thinking about what I did wrong, I try to ask myself what I can learn from the situation and what I need to do next.
Fashion continues to be an important part of how I express and care for myself. Wearing something I love can change my energy and help me enter the day with more confidence. However, I no longer believe that confidence begins and ends with appearance. Clothes can support the way I feel, but they cannot create inner comfort on their own.
That kind of comfort develops slowly. It comes from understanding your limits, recognizing your emotions, and accepting that you do not need to handle every situation perfectly. For me, this has been one of the most important lessons of becoming more independent. Taking care of myself means being honest about both my strengths and the moments when I need support.
As this journey continues, I am realizing that self-care and self-acceptance are closely connected. It is difficult to care for yourself when you are constantly trying to become someone else. Learning to understand my own needs has helped me become more patient with myself, and that patience has made it easier to feel comfortable with the person I am becoming.
Takeaway
Self-care is not only about improving how we look. It is also about listening to ourselves, respecting our limits, asking for support, and changing the way we respond to difficult moments. The more honestly we care for ourselves, the closer we become to accepting who we are.
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By Polina Makarova
Polina Makarova is an English Literature major at Pace University and a Publishing Intern at Campus Clipper. Originally from Russia, she writes about student life, wellness, fashion, and personal growth while navigating college life in New York City.
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Tags: Fashion, Health, New York City, self-care, Student Life