Here’s some advice from a girl in her 20’s, in her final year of undergrad. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Enjoy all the club events and find people who meet you where you are. Freshman year wasn’t scary for me. I felt inexperienced.
If you’re a commuter, (like me), shoutout to Queens, you’ll find other people who have lived in neighboring boroughs. Or if you’re homesick, NYC is the place to branch out. My whole life, living here, I still get overwhelmed. In a good way. But, that should be a natural feeling for anybody. It’s all about figuring out yourself as a person.
I spent the last few years feeling like a reliable source when it comes to my friends and colleagues. I’m usually the one people come to for advice, even when I don’t think I have it all figured out. You won’t be alone in feeling lost. There’s always a community on campus somewhere. If not, then you make your own community. It takes time to find the right people. It could even mean finding the wrong people, to know what you truly want in a friendship. To feel supported and loved as you are. Your community can be made up of your friends, classmates, professors, neighbors, pets, whoever you deem your safe space. They will become your building blocks as a young adult.
Let me share an example of me stepping out of my comfort zone. In my sophomore year, I went to see Moulin Rouge on my own. I usually attend Broadway shows with one other person, that way it’s more fun. Unfortunately, all my friends at the time were busy and I had a falling out with friends from the year before. As I was finding my seat, I was taking a picture of the set design, and I bumped into someone. Her name was also Emily, the same age I was and she was visiting from Germany. After the show ended, we grabbed a quick bite at Shake Shack to wait for the rain outside to dissipate. We chatted and talked, sharing our music tastes and who our favorite artists were. We exchanged Instagrams, and as I found out, she was here for one more day. So, we planned to see the Guggenheim. I, personally, have never been and I said sure, why not? In getting to know her, she loved collecting romance/fantasy books especially finding the ones that were signed by the authors. She’s fun and bubbly, it felt refreshing to meet people outside of university. I shared the same love for books as she did, I did recall her carrying a large bag of books when we met both times, which I shared with her how impressed I was that she was carrying them with her as we traveled to the museum.
I’ve continued to grow my community of friends since then. My community consists of people from when I volunteered at orientation, being on executive boards of clubs, participating in events on campus and especially in classes. Over time, some of them have become my closest confidants. It’s never too late to put yourself out there. Share your passions with the people around you. It’s okay to feel scared, I’m sure they do too.
By Emily Ann Tam
Emily is a senior at Fordham University, Lincoln Center. She is pursuing her bachelors & her masters in English while in the accelerated program at Fordham. She’s a Queens native and finds solace in listening to her favorite pop artists. You can find her in mom and pop coffee shops or being lost in a library.
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