In a city as busy and bustling as New York, it can be incredibly difficult to find your community. You may be asking yourself, ‘how could I possibly feel lonely in a city with so many people?’, but I assure you it’s a very common and normal occurrence, especially for NYC newcomers.
I grew up in the midwest and spent twenty-three years of my life living in Wisconsin, attending undergrad at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and staying very close to home. Simply put, I just wasn’t ready to leave. I had my community, my friends, and my family, all people whom I loved, so really what more could I ask for? But after graduating college and preparing for graduate school, I decided it was time for a fresh start, and now here I am in New York City as an MFA student!
As students, we’re often told by staff and faculty that the best way to meet new people is to attend university events, and at first I was honestly a bit skeptical. I didn’t attend a lot of events in college, and I assumed my classes would be enough to build my community. But I took a chance the second week of classes and attended a student reading for the creative writing program at one of the local bars. I didn’t know a lot of people, and being from the midwest I felt a bit like an outsider. But I quickly realized that the hardest part – pushing myself to attend that event, to get out of my comfort zone – was over and I ended up striking up a conversation with some fellow students and talking with them for the rest of the night!
Study groups are another great way to build your community. Through my classes, I’ve been able to find people with similar goals and interests as me, and studying together can really foster a sense of comradery. Until coming to the city, I didn’t fully realize the importance of finding those people who want the same things as me, who share the same goals and aspirations. But, as we all know, NYC is filled with so many people chasing so many different dreams, and building those connections has been essential to my work and well-being, especially as someone who’s new to the city.
I think we can all agree that school can sometimes feel like a chore, even when we’re studying something we’re really passionate about. I’ve found that one of the best ways to blow off some steam is to hang out with your friends after class. This simple act has really helped me decompress after a long day, and just reflecting on the shared experience of attending class together has really brought me closer to my classmates. I even joined a group chat with my graduate program made specifically for hanging out or grabbing a drink after class, and it’s been one of the most successful ways I’ve built my community. Exchanging numbers and making group chats can be extremely advantageous when finding your people, especially in this current age of technology, and I’ve made it a point to get my classmates’ contact info as much as possible.
Moving to New York has proven to be one of the best decisions of my life, and I have my friends to thank for that. Finding your people is so crucial in such a big city, and though it can be overwhelming when starting out, I promise it’s all worth it. Every step I’ve taken to build my community has helped me learn and grow as a person, and I couldn’t have built the connections I have without putting myself out there and taking a chance.
By Katrina Kallas
Katrina Kallas is a first-year graduate student at The New School, studying creative writing with a concentration in fiction. Originally from Wisconsin, they enjoy writing about relationships, friendships, and personal values. In their free time, they write fictional stories on a variety of topics and hope to publish a novel after they graduate.
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Tags: community, friendships, Student Life, values