Rapid Revival Restaurant Review: The Chippery

“The Chippery” sounds like an industrial horror of the Victorian age, a place where child laborers chip away at rocks with pickaxes while being whipped by slavemasters for hours until all the strength leaves their tiny little bodies and they’re hauled away to uncomfortable cots where the dust in their lungs leads them to convalesce with pneumonia throughout the dark, terrible night, upon which that bugle sounds the coming of dawn and they are woken up to repeat the same thing all over again. But actually it’s a place that serves fried fish.

The restaurant itself is cozy but very small. There’s just one tiny table in the corner and it seems like you’re supposed to order out. The staff are very nice people, though I’d imagine they could get a little claustrophobic.

The menu had deep-fried oreos but if I eat any more oreos I would die, so instead I got the calamari.

Once again, the calamari is a combination of tentacle segments and whole small squids, with a lot more of the latter than usual. The batter is nice and crunchy and the pieces at the bottom aren’t soggy which is pretty rare. The flavor is subtle, but it goes well with the provided sauce even if it isn’t my thing.

The fried fish itself is extremely fried, with a very thick layer of crunchy batter. It tastes very good but is somewhat cumbersome to actually eat due to the way it’s curled on itself, meaning that it’s hard to cut without accidentally tearing off a large portion of the skin. Fortunately both the fish and batter taste good on their own. The eponymous chips are apparently made with a secret flavor, which I can’t actually describe the taste of under threat of legal action. The chips themselves are good, crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside. I’d recommend scraping some of the seasoning off them onto the fish.

Verdict: 8/10 Matthew Calamari indictments


By: Alexander Rose

Alexander Rose studies satire at NYU Gallatin and wishes he was actually just Oscar Wilde. He is interested in writing, roleplaying games, and procrastination. Describing himself in the third person like this makes him feel weird.

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