Rapid Revival Restaurant Review: Bait and Hook

Bait & Hook NYC

Here we are, May 19th. Exactly 7 days after May 4th, just like I promised in the last entry of the Covid Cooking Club. To celebrate fact that Covid is now 100% not a threat and nobody should ever worry about it even a little bit, I will be commencing the Rapid Revival Restaurant Reviews, to drum up some support for those poor small business owners who were already going to get destroyed by corporate competition but we’re pretending it’s the pandemic’s fault now. My first target will be the seafood restaurant Bait and Hook, chosen for no other reason than that it was close to me and I’m very lazy.

The layout of the restaurant is very nice, somewhat nautically themed but not nautically themed enough to make people seasick. which apparently happens sometimes. The lights are red, which is pretty weird because it didn’t seem like that kind of establishment. All the waiters are very nice, even when I got pissed at them for not letting me in when I turned up an hour early without any sort of identification. The only real problem is the noise: the music is loud, the people are loud, and the acoustics make it all louder, which means you’ll probably have to shout your order if you want the waiter to actually listen to you.

The house lager is good, and I say that as someone who doesn’t even like beer. As far as I’m concerned most alcohol that isn’t hard cider tastes like varying flavors of fizzy urine, but fortunately this one bucked that trend. It has a mild taste that could be compared to wood if wood tasted good. It also completely obliterated my nostrils after the gas came back up and made me feel like I had been tear gassed, but in a fun and relaxed way.

The Kung Pao Calamari is very tasty. It has both tentacle bits and entire tiny octopi for variety. They’re decently crispy and taste great even without sauce thanks to the seasoning. I tried some of the Kung Pao sauce and it tasted like someone had Kung Powed my tongue, but I guess some people like that sort of thing.

Their most popular food was the lobster roll, which I didn’t order because I don’t like lobster rolls. I had the fish and chips instead. The fish itself was great: white cod with a taste distinct from other fried fish without being too overpowering. The skin was both crunchy and stayed on the meat, and it’s rare to find a fried fish that does both of those. The fries were… fine. Not crispy enough to be french fries or thick enough to be steak fries. I saw someone else eating mashed potatoes and those looked way better.

So the next day I went back and ordered the mashed potatoes. They were, in fact, way better. A good blend between chunky and creamy with a hint of garlic. I also learned it was much less loud outside.

Dessert was gelato, which wasn’t part of the review but they gave me some anyway because they’re nice people. It was good, because it was ice cream. I’m easily please by ice cream.

Verdict: 7.75/10 happy British fish.

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By: Alexander Rose

Alexander Rose studies satire at NYU Gallatin and wishes he was actually just Oscar Wilde. He is interested in writing, roleplaying games, and procrastination. Describing himself in the third person like this makes him feel weird.

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