How Not to Do Anything: An Expert Guide – How Not to Be Cool

Image Credit:

Image Credit:

For those living the languorous life, it can be tempting to consider yourself somehow superior to others due to your activity-free lifestyle and comparatively blithe, carefree existence. This is a thoroughly justified and righteous assessment to make. However, you have to be extremely careful not to take such judgements beyond their simplest, self-evident conclusions, and begin to consider yourself cool. Being cool has a lot of appeal to young people––it means that you somehow know better than your peers, without knowing anything at all, and it means that you get to have sex without necessarily having a job. But being cool, like having a real job or a girlfriend, takes nearly constant work.

Don’t be fooled by the false detachment of the coolest guy in the room: no matter how apathetic his mien, he is deeply invested in your perception of him in relation to everyone else. He feeds off your vision of him, which proves his coolness better than he ever could. What you need is true detachment, and you can’t have that unless you sincerely don’t care what the other people at the party think of you, since you aren’t invested in a cool self-image. Know that you are better than them, but pay no attention to whether or not they realize this. In fact, it’s better if they don’t.

In order to circumvent any hazard of coolness, I have an elegant solution: wear sweatpants. All the time. Sweatpants are incredibly comfortable and always cheap. You can wear them anywhere, including in bed, and best of all, there will never be any confusion as to whether or not you are cool. (This strategy is also highly effective when eluding employment and romantic entanglements.) While everyone else scrambles to adhere to the moment’s fashions, you can sit on the couch, complacent in your sweatpants. From far enough away, you look like a king on his throne, in robes of cheapest cotton.

By Aaron Brown

Aaron Brown was one of the Campus Clipper’s publishing interns, who wrote an e-book “How Not To Do Anything: An Expert Guide.” If you like Aaron’s writing, follow our blog for more chapters from his e-book. We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during last year’s Welcome Week.

Become a fan on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram!


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.