How Not to Do Anything: An Expert Guide – How Not to Stay in Shape

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Many young Americans spend an altogether gratuitous amount of time and money on exercise and a healthy diet, two things which all doctors order, but which almost no one really enjoys. Despite the difficulty and unpleasantness of physically exerting yourself or eating home-cooked vegetables, there is an unfortunate tangle of social pressures that causes a great many people to do so. Luckily for you, you are immune to the unreasonable ideals of the popular culture and your mother.

While it may prove problematic not to get a job, or lonely not to have a lady or gentleman friend, it is surpassingly easy not to stay in shape; that’s why one third of all adults in the United States are obese! But don’t worry, it’s not necessary to take it that far. The important thing is to be only as unhealthy as you want to be. With a diet of whatever is tasty and at hand, plus a minimal exercise regimen, you can settle into a nice equilibrium of health, a natural weight that may fluctuate drastically depending on the quality of local fast food, and the frequency of meals that you can get other people to make for you.

With the time and money that other people pour into their local gym and health food store, you can do practically anything, or, even better, practically nothing. Watch TV, fly a kite, browse the latest internet memes—if you’re feeling crazy, read a book. Nearly anything that you feel like doing is far less arduous and more pleasurable than exercising, and with all of your unhealthy savings, you can even buy a playstation or a bigger TV, and stay on the cutting edge of indolence. With the right attitude and a total lack of willpower, you can be as lethargic as the most spoiled house dog, and you don’t even have to go outside to go to the bathroom!

By Aaron Brown

Aaron Brown was one of the Campus Clipper’s publishing interns, who wrote an e-book “How Not To Do Anything: An Expert Guide.” If you like Aaron’s writing, follow our blog for more chapters from his e-book. We have the most talented interns ever and we’re so proud of them! For over 20 years, the Campus Clipper has been offering awesome student discounts in NYC,  from the East Side to Greenwich Village. Along with inspiration, the company offers students a special coupon booklet and the Official Student Guide, which encourage them to discover new places in the city and save money on food, clothing and services.  

At the Campus Clipper, not only do we help our interns learn new skills, make money, and create wonderful e-books, we give them a platform to teach others. Check our website for more student savings and watch our YouTube video showing off some of New York City’s finest students during last year’s Welcome Week.

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