Dear Future: What ever will I do?

In my junior year of high school I joined the Academy of Finance, a respectable two year business program offered in many high schools that gives youngsters a substantial peek into the business world. Getting paid to be a summer intern at a company like Citigroup was just one perk, and perhaps it was the only one that I felt adequately substantial for my participation in the program.

Before this internship experience, I was expected to pass a number of business related classes, some of which included accounting, finance, economics, financial planning, and business law.

Without much surprise, these courses caused me to drift from my naive, puffy cloud dreams of becoming a fancy suit-wearing business woman, because, quite frankly, I did not enjoy them. In a brave attempt to hide from debts and assets, I sought refuge in my English classes. Lusting over the luxurious pages of Dorian Gray proved to be one of the few things I genuinely enjoyed in school. Staying up late to write thought provoking and personally fulfilling essays was something I looked forward to. I should have heard the futures blatant whispers in my ear at the time, but I didn’t think English could get me anywhere, so I just kept my interest as an extreme hobby.

My first few years of college were engrossed in complete confusion. I had no idea what I wanted to pursue, what my interests were, or even what the elements of my own individuality consisted of. I was a sad case, moping the halls, endlessly jealous of all the other kids that knew what they wanted to be when they grew up— of course not every face I grilled to a crisp knew, but it was easy to feel sorry for myself when I took upon that belief. In an act of desperation, I leaned towards the business side of my (Ready for it?…) business school.

Two years passed, still without a set major, I bravely went where few go, and even less actually survive— the English Department. My love for literature had been apparent since high school, but it was a passion that I believe I repressed. Today, I think it was a combination of the fear of not knowing what I’d want to do with my English degree, conjoined with the typical college student jitters of setting firm marks onto the blueprints of our lives.

Winding down on my shpeel, if you find yourself unsure of the future, as a current college student, and even beyond that, take a firm step back, and try to remember. Remember what it was that struck that fervent chord in your soul that made you feel creative, alive… happy. Once you remember, go from there without hesitation, and see where it leads you. You can always go back to past plans if need be, but you can’t go back if you don’t go forward.

-Angela M

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