As I grew up, hearing my brother yelling throughout the house over his game was a common occurrence. I thought it was annoying and would fiercely yell at him back to “Shut Up!” or “Be Quiet!” He never shared his console with me so I could never even fathom just what was so enraging that made him scream so violently every passing half hour. It was not until my first year of college that I found the answer.
My first semester was a repeated cycle: thinking about home, wanting to go home, ultimately never buying that ticket home because I didn’t move all this way to leave right when I was uncomfortable. Everything felt foreign and I could not find a way to belong. People’s mannerisms were different e.g. I would hold the door open and people could pass by without uttering a quick ‘thank you’ and it became inappropriate to meet people’s gazes on the street. I wanted to disappear; so I did.
Most of that year I spent holed up in my dorm room contemplating my choice to move away from everything I thought of as home. Luckily, my two best friends had done the same so we would call and chat about it often.
“I miss In-n-Out!” “It’s so cold here!” “I miss my mom!” were just some of the common phrases being thrown around, but “Nobody gets me!” was probably the one we all felt the most. Our friendship had transpired from English class in Junior year of high school to seeing each other multiple times a week over the summer to do everything including bed-rotting. Now, we were all miles apart, blocked by the necessity of traveling just to see one another.
Of all the things that changed my freshman year of college, one thing stayed the same: video games. My laptop made a courageous cross-country journey, and yet never stayed untouched. Every night, I would call my best friends and we would play video games together. It didn’t matter that our time zones were different because I would just stay up just to play a little longer even if I had class the next day.
Tapping each button, clicking my mouse aggressively — we could release any stress or ponderance out as we imaginatively solved puzzles. Strategies were minute as we just focused on what was in front of us while discussing the reality that surrounded us. Staring intently at a screen, I could hear her yelling at our teammates from the other side of the country.
Not only did I get to hear about her day and connect with her during our sacred gaming time, but I was able to learn new skills because we would always switch between games. From Minecraft to Overwatch, we could be in a free world where we would strategize about roaming for the best place to build a house to complaining about how our teammates were not fulfilling their roles and how we surpassed the enemy team’s healing. Our constant gaming taught me how to be independent and how to be in a team.
Even today, I play video games to escape reality alongside my friends. It can be quite a resource for making new friends as an activity to get to know each other through the various roles we take on or our responses to challenges. Although I don’t play as much as I previously had, it is always a resource I lean on to feel connected to my friends despite being so far away.
Video games aren’t always a tool of aggression and violence as many parents might be concerned about. It can be a source of release and connection that brings community despite distance.
By Alyssa Hong
Alyssa Hong is a rising Junior at Barnard College, studying Political Science with a minor in English. As a first-generation, low-income student, she writes about moving across the country for college and its adjustments. She utilizes entertainment, wellness/health/food, and fashion/beauty as methods to making new connections with others whilst always learning.
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Tags: entertainment, friendships, Fun, games, socializing, videogames