What is Hookup Culture? I know what a hookup is and I know what a culture is: of course, I’m a college kid. But put those two words together, and I’m lost. After a bit of research, I discovered it was our generation’s way of wasting time before they find someone to get into a serious relationship with.  It is when people meet, talk, and instantly become intimate—but only for the night. It ranges from kissing to going home with the person. I see this all the time at college, but I never thought it was anything new. People have been getting frisky before marriage since… always! Now however, with morals on the decline, men and women have began to rely on non-committal, spontaneous hookups to kill time and relieve loneliness with instant sexual gratification. But once again this is not new information. Most college students are well aware of this culture and take part in it one way or another. Ever been up and out in the morning and seen a girl walking in 6 inch heels and a party dress at 9 am? Laughing and making light of that image is what hookup culture is all about. And as a woman in college—surrounded by hookup culture and inevitably being a part of it—I don’t mean to sound like a third party uninvolved and like I have never woken up the morning after a night out hoping no one saw the escapades I took part in; believe me, I have. But just stopping to think about all the drama and turmoil hookups cause within ourselves makes me want to take a lot of mistakes back. The attention may feel nice in the moment—through sleepy eyes you drink in their words and smile—but when that night is over and you realize you never even got the chance to give them your number… so you knew they weren’t going to call… and you kind of were glad they wouldn’t… it leaves you feeling a bit empty. Not good or bad, just if no one saw the two of you leaving the bar, you could play if off (to yourself as well as to others) like it never happened. The point to stress is that it won’t make things better. Casual hookups are short lived. You may feel prettier and attractive during the night but what about if you see that person and you realize they only wanted you for a moment and weren’t thinking about you for the long run? You could end up feeling cheated out of a chance, or maybe that people think you’re cute enough to kiss but not enough to get to know. Never let it be easier to hookup with someone than it is to ask that person out on a date. Because after that sets into your train of thought, it’s a slippery slope of what boundaries you’ll allow to be pushed just to get that momentary satisfaction.

Before writing this article I was talking to a male friend of mine about the dating situation that goes on in his school and he told me, “there is no dating scene in our freshman class… everyone just drunkenly hooks up and act all embarrassed when they run into each other the next day.” So my advice for freshmen entering college, with a sea of new friends and potential hookups in front of them, it’s better to just take a step back and try to hold off on the locking of lips just yet. Get to know people, make friends and hang out first, be young and free and see if they are someone you would want to be that intimate with. Wait till someone thinks your worthy of taking out to dinner or even something more casual like coffee or karaoke with a group of friends at Karaoke Boho. Now that I’m a junior in college, not only have I seen the damage hookups can bring, but I’ve also seen how precious relationships can be when you give yourself a moment to just be alone and let love decide your actions rather than lust.  As my mother would say, “honey, you’ll never find a boyfriend if you’re kissing all his friends.”  Just be you, have a great time and make yourself a hot commodity that will only go with someone that you know is worth your kisses.

-Jackie Aqel

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This entry was posted on Monday, June 27th, 2011 at 4:44 pm and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.